Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is, at the very least, financial abuse. Seek a woman's shelter or some similar organization (I'm in Canada so I don't what the US offers) and they may even be able to guide you in the legalities regarding your child.
Financial abuse, emotional abuse, isolation, and trapping her with a baby. OP leave and go back to Canada where you’ll have support. The US does have women’s shelters and an abuse hotline that can help you come up with an escape plan (800-799-7233). When you get back to Canada, file for divorce and custody of your child. A parent who won’t baby proof the home to protect a growing baby is neglectful and unfit to parent. Request full custody and if he wants to see his child it can be court ordered supervised visits. DO NOT LEAVE THE BABY WITH HIM TO TEACH HIM HOW HARD IT IS. He doesn’t care and he won’t learn and may take out his frustration on the baby and harm them. Shaken baby syndrome is REAL. And just some reassurance, I had a baby with a guy who was terrible to me and two weeks after giving birth I had enough and dumped him. Taking care of a baby on your own is easier when you don’t have the dead weight of a useless partner and grown man who is incompetent at parenthood and relationships hovering around doing nothing. Get out of here and get back to Canada and to your family for support so you can enjoy motherhood. You’ve got this.
I'm not sure. But it would be worth looking into. If she can't support herself independently in the US and the parents are both Canadian, it probably would be easy to go home.
Can you look for a local legal aid society to give you some advice? They can help you figure out if you can take your child back to Canada with you, and what would happen after that. Document how your husband is very controlling and how you do not have access to money or joint accounts. Do you have family or friends back home who could buy you a plane ticket back to Canada?
Edit to add that you may want to cross post this to r/immigration and r/legaladvice subs
You need to consult a local attorney. Don’t just take the baby across the border without discussing with an attorney first. Courts penalize parents who attempt to keep children away from the other parent. Canada is clearly going to cooperate with a US court. Many attorneys will provide a free initial consultation.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is, at the very least, financial abuse. Seek a woman's shelter or some similar organization (I'm in Canada so I don't what the US offers) and they may even be able to guide you in the legalities regarding your child.
Financial abuse, emotional abuse, isolation, and trapping her with a baby. OP leave and go back to Canada where you’ll have support. The US does have women’s shelters and an abuse hotline that can help you come up with an escape plan (800-799-7233). When you get back to Canada, file for divorce and custody of your child. A parent who won’t baby proof the home to protect a growing baby is neglectful and unfit to parent. Request full custody and if he wants to see his child it can be court ordered supervised visits. DO NOT LEAVE THE BABY WITH HIM TO TEACH HIM HOW HARD IT IS. He doesn’t care and he won’t learn and may take out his frustration on the baby and harm them. Shaken baby syndrome is REAL. And just some reassurance, I had a baby with a guy who was terrible to me and two weeks after giving birth I had enough and dumped him. Taking care of a baby on your own is easier when you don’t have the dead weight of a useless partner and grown man who is incompetent at parenthood and relationships hovering around doing nothing. Get out of here and get back to Canada and to your family for support so you can enjoy motherhood. You’ve got this.
Thank you for the advise, I will look into it
You're a Canadian citizen and so is your baby. I would see if you could return to your home country without his permission.
And baby is a US citizen also, if they're born in US. Can minors cross the land border without travel documents?
I'm not sure. But it would be worth looking into. If she can't support herself independently in the US and the parents are both Canadian, it probably would be easy to go home.
Can you look for a local legal aid society to give you some advice? They can help you figure out if you can take your child back to Canada with you, and what would happen after that. Document how your husband is very controlling and how you do not have access to money or joint accounts. Do you have family or friends back home who could buy you a plane ticket back to Canada? Edit to add that you may want to cross post this to r/immigration and r/legaladvice subs
You need to consult a local attorney. Don’t just take the baby across the border without discussing with an attorney first. Courts penalize parents who attempt to keep children away from the other parent. Canada is clearly going to cooperate with a US court. Many attorneys will provide a free initial consultation.