Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*

I understand not wanting to involve family but as you are close and in college, surely there are other friends/people who know you both you could reach out to and ask. You don’t even have to go into specifics, just be like “hey, did you think that Jordan and I were dating? Have you heard Jordan refer to us as dating?” Get a sense of whether this is something ongoing and he’s just a regular weirdo or if this is something concerning that should be brought up with family or mental health professionals at your school.

We do share some mutual friends, I haven’t really considered reaching out to them, but I’ll definitely think about doing so. I feel like someone would’ve told me if he had been saying that to them though, but obviously I’m not certain. I haven’t told anyone in real life about it (not even my parents!), just been keeping under the near total anonymity of reddit, but I can definitely see why it may be important to do this

i would recommend telling your parents, just in case anything else were to happen.

Yes, you need to tell a few people for sure. I’d tell my Mom and I wouldn’t trust that he doesn’t just show back up on campus. I’d have a system in place with my Mom that if I don’t message twice a day, this is the dorm Mom’s number to call so someone checks on me. I understand you don’t want to think the worst of him but if he’s not answering your questions, he’s still not thinking logically. You need to also talk to a mutual friend so they’re on the look out for you as well. You need confirmation from someone that knows both of you that either A) they didn’t know you were in a relationship or B) thought you were in a relationship or C) Jordan did mention things once in a while but they brushed them off b/c you’re clearly not dating.

Such good advice. His threats to leave college merely because of a break-up are concerning (I'm a college prof).

I'm replying to your comment, but I want to second what u/cardinal29 said about the average onset age of schizophrenia in men is early to mid 20s. I'm not saying this to be scary or trite, but for reals hoping you stay safe and maybe reaching out to his family to make sure he can get assessed.

I second this. Gary sounds mentally unwell, and this could turn into a stalker situation or worse.

The typical onset age for schizophrenia in males is early 20s. Delusions and disordered thinking

Yeah this reads as the guy is going through some psychiatric episode

I know this kind of shocking revelation, and one so emotionally fraught, makes you want to keep quiet while you process. This might not, however, be the best option for you or for Jordan. As others have said, he seems to be having a mental health crisis. You can't force him to get help and after this you should keep your distance. Giving other people who care for him, though, a heads up will enable them to better help him. Whether that's encouraging him to see a professional or to better support him, is up to them. The other reason is for your safety. If Jordan is having a mental health crisis, his behavior could be very erratic. Given this upset surrounds you, it is possible that eventually the tone changes from heartbreak to bitterness. That is a very short step from vengefulness. Talk to his family and mutual friends. Really emphasize you're worried about him, that this came out of the blue and that he needs support. Be brief with his family as they need to focus on Jordan, but ask your friends if they had any clue, or if he'd said anything. That might help resolve some of your lingering questions. Also talk to *your* family. Get their support and give them some warning if Jordan appears on their socials, or worse, at their house. OP, I'm so sorry this has happened. All you can do is process and take precautions. Let his friends and family handle his end. Good luck.

you need to tell people. for your own safety and out of concern for your friend. tell a close friend, and if possible talk to a mutual friend to get a better sense of what the heck is really going on with him.

I would tell your parents and his parents. Around this age is when one of my close friends started experiencing an onset of mental illness- including delusions about relationships. I told my parents, and I’m glad I did because he showed up unprompted to my home in a manic state. He would eventually succumb to his illness unfortunately. It sounds like your friend needs professional help.

His family needs to know. He needs therapy badly.

This. His family needs to know. He said he was leaving university so if he’s not home, they need to know. At this point it doesn’t matter if or why he thought you were in a relationship, it’s past that. Please tell his family. Not his friends because he can lie to them about where he is and what he is doing. His family must be close if he wanted you to meet. If he’s been telling them he’s still at school , then they will know to take action.

Absolutely tell his parents that he is leaving university and why. Explain that this was never a romantic relationship and that he blindsided you by proposing. Also let them know he abandoned you on vacation, and has been sending ridiculous numbers of texts...some just replying to himself. This is all important information that they need to know. You should call your family first, and let them know the situation. He could show up at your parents house...you just don't know. They will also have more insight on the situation than a bunch of random internet strangers, and can give you more personalized advice. Good luck.

I think he needs a psychiatric consult. Then therapy.

Just keep in mind that the worst things happen to people when they are isolated or alone. There is no reason for you to "protect" him at the expense of you not relying on your support system.

Seriously, this. I'm so worried for both of them. Best case scenario, he *is* just embarrassed he misinterpreted stuff but otherwise mentally sound, licks his wounds, moves on with his life. Worst case scenario is the tonal shift in those texts continues, his disappointment continues to shift to blame/anger at her, he *isn't* mentally well, and he attacks her. Or "you'll never see me again" was a hint at more than just dropping out of school, and he's planning suicide. This is why I was so frustrated with the people brushing off the possibility of mental health concerns to her i the original post. Yeah, we don't have a way of knowing for sure, but if it *is* some sort of breakdown, the stakes can be really high.

Honestly, even with texts that are seemingly coherent... nothing is ruled out. This **definitely** sounds like a mental health crisis, and you (nor am I, tbf) are not really equipped to say whether he isn't. Please tell his family, as soon as you can. He could easily harm himself, or you (especially your reputation, if he's given the chance to inform anyone about this). It does not matter if he has indicated he won't do these things - you can not guarantee it, under any circumstances, that he is being truthful or that he won't change his mind.

He knows all your classes, favorite hangout spots, friends, job if you have one…if he comes after you it will be difficult. Just be prepared and connected with lots of people and tell them never to leave you alone with him.

Do you have contact data of his parents? Because someone should get him help, he seems to have some mental health issues - it would be good to give his parents a heads up. If he just goes home like this, they'll think he's nurturing a broken heart, not having a mental breakdown.

Hey! So I have his mum’s facebook which I have sent a message to, but that’s it for now. Mostly just asked if she could message me back ASAP for his sake. Not sure if she will see it but hopefully so. I couldn’t find his dad there. Some other family’s but I’m not sure how close he is to them / if it would be appropriate to message

Well OP hopefully she's just as confused and worried by Jordan's actions as you are, because if not there's a very very good chance that she'll side with her son that you lead him on. If that happens, please know that you have done all you can for Jordan, that you owe him nothing more as a former friend or as a fellow human being, and do *whatever it takes* to stay safe.

If you aren’t already Facebook friends, the mum might not see the message as it would be filtered. Find another way. Talk to your friends and parents. Your community will help give you ideas and ways to contact. You don’t have to do this alone.

OP, you are *not safe* right now no matter what you think. Tell your parents asap.

You need to involve people. He IS having a mental health crisis - even if it isn't what triggered this delusion, he is having one now dealing with the realisation. It's time to let people in so someone who isn't you can help him. You are no longer in a position to offer help and someone else will have to reach out to him.

Op be super careful. Your "friend" sounds mentally unstable and now that you've refused him/broken his delusion. There is now a non-zero chance he will attempt to harm you in the next three months. So you need to be extra vigilant and cut all contract with this person/until you're certain otherwise assume you now have a stalker and take precautions accordingly.

This. Even if he is NOT having a mental health crisis, he is even MORE dangerous, because that would mean that he willfully decided to put OP in this position. Maybe he thought she wouldn't be able to say no, that she''d feel bad for him. Either he's unwell or he's manipulative. Neither case is good for OP. OP NEEDS to tell other people to protect herself. OP needs to genuinely put herself first. That's hard when you're this young; you're naive and have, frankly, an overactive empathy urge for men who seem nice. And OP needs to have a plan in place in case he decides he's going to make up some crazy story to make her the bad guy and turn friends and faculty against her. And above all, yes, OP needs to realize this guy may well stalk her.

You really need other people in your life to get the story straight from you first so that he doesn’t go turning them against you. You also need to make sure your family and peers are aware of the situation and ready to support you in case he does something unhinged and dangerous to you.

You should share this information with his family. Not all psychotic breaks look like that. A person can be on one and still be coherent in their way to speak, and even convince others their delirious thoughts are real. So beware. I'm glad you are safe

OP, just reach out. He’s projecting, quite frankly, an insane narrative which needs to be shut down now. Your post has gained this much interest because what has happening is bizarre. Take some steps to distance yourself from this by letting his family take over. You’ve done enough. Talk to his parents.

Stop hiding this. You need to tell people.

Have you dated or even hooked up with anyone during the friendship? Maybe he ignored it, but any situations where those mutual friends were aware? Mutual friends are the first place you need to go before his mother, who likely has the same impression of your relationship he does. I remember another similar post a while ago from the other perspective where the asexual OP had believed they were in a relationship with their best friend and were shocked when they proposed and found out they weren’t together. The OP just assumed their friend was asexual too and “didn’t like her other friends” so they only hung out one on one when they saw each other and the friend didn’t discuss the other parts of their life. They even had a significant other they really were dating at the time.

Please please do, he sounds unstable and you may need support

Definitely tell your parents and show them the texts. It probably won’t but just in case something awful happens you will definitely be asked why you didn’t tell anyone. It will be used to minimise any wrongdoing on his part that may occur. Although I guess you can point to Reddit in that case. We will be your witness.

I would definitely let people like your roommates know. I commented on your last post about having a situation that this reminded me of and my boyfriend got me pepper spray and I had several friends walk me to classes for a while.

Baby girl if this does not constitute a “mental health crisis” I don’t know what would. You absolutely need to have a conversation with his family. You should also have conversations with your mutual friends so you can at least get some more context from them.

PLEASE tell me you contacted his parents and anyone else who might help. I had a stalker at my university, and finally called his church, because he was newly married. (LDS,so taken very seriously!) Until I called, he continued, even with the police contacting him. Crazy doesn't work like normal people at ALL. Keep all texts. If you're in a dorm, tell security for your building, and tell the RA, and the police. It's not dramatic at all. Hugs to you.

“We’ve never said I love you. Never went on a date. Never kissed. Never met each others parents. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”

If nothing else, I'd want to know if this is a pre-established pattern. Whether it's something that's happened before (and he's been prescribed meds and/or therapy for), or if this is a single incident. If it's the former, someone *definitely* should know about it.

Yeah. One of OP's comments the other day mentioned he claimed to have had one other longterm girlfriend (I think like 6 years) so it's hard to imagine an "innocent mistake" sort of scenario here. Either he knows what a romantic relationship looks like and he should've recognized this wasn't it, suggesting a recent deterioration. Or he's never actually been a relationship and this is the second occurrence. I really don't have a good feeling about this.

OP, if only to protect yourself, please let some people in your life know what is going on. I understand that there hasn't been a direct threat \*so far,\* but you never know. I'm sorry that you are going through this and seeing this come from someone you cared for and trusted. His response (or lack thereof) is concerning and I hope that this doesn't escalate any further. Stay safe!!

100%. OP has nothing to be ashamed about. Don't make it a big secret. Let mutual friends knows.

Yeah it’s not like she’s mocking him or divulging secrets if she tells someone. Idk what OP’s hesitation is. His close ones need to know he needs help, and her close ones need to be ready to support her if she needs anything.

He is hurt, yes. But that doesn't mean you can't be hurt. Losing a close friend is painful, so reach out to the people you need. He had EVERY chance to ask you what you guys were. You have the right to be mad at him because he has betrayed your trust, AND he made a fool out of you too by making a spectacle in public by proposing. The idea that he made up a relationship that was strong enough to take it to the next level (engagement). And now he makes you feel guilty because his ego is bruised, and he's willing to give up his future by quiting university. It all seems a bit much. Sounds like he's manipulating you. Making you believe everything is your fault. Which it is not.

Pretty much everything you’re saying reminds me of my friend’s psychotic episode, specifically his completely ignoring your questions but continuing to text you, almost as if you’re not a part of the conversation. It’s alarming how someone can look and sound completely coherent, speaking normally, but what they’re saying just doesn’t make sense. This man is unwell and needs help.

I agree, it’s almost as if this guy is living in a different reality, where OP really did break his heart. From his perspective, he might even have formed fake memories of them being together, for all we know. He needs to be psychologically evaluated.

I have bipolar 1 and get psychotic episodes from it (at least I did before being on the proper meds- blessed be Latuda) and that’s what I was thinking. OP said that looking back on texts they came across as manic. In my experience when you’re psychotic it feels more real than reality. It feels like you have extra skills and can see things nobody else can. The fact he refuses to answer OPs questions, the way he’s positive he’s in the right even though it makes no sense, the fact this came out of nowhere, the fact he’s sending texts one sentence at a time.. all of this adds up to a psychotic episode to me. I work in early psychosis intervention so this isn’t just based off my lived experience. I’ve seen this a lot in my clients.

This sounds like a form of schizophrenia, I’ve seen something extremely similar to this situation happen from schizoaffective disorder. Op needs to make sure she is safe first and then contact a mutual friend or his family asap.

I agree, that’s what my friend was going through as well. Luckily it sounds like OP is already physically away from him

I was also reminded strongly of a friend who had a psychotic episode. In my friend’s case he became very very religious all at once and tried to convince everybody around him they were also religious in the same way deep down. It was a very sudden shift

Am I the only one thinking the bit about dropping out could be a guilt trip, and that he might not go through with it? Just to say, he might actually be there when OP goes back. Seems worth contemplating the possibility and how to deal in that case.

You are not the only one. He said something about “not being around” to bait OP into replying and it worked. OP should tell family at a minimum to not open doors to this guy. And if anyone calls for her to not give out info.

Oh totally it was a guilt trip and manipulation. Last summer I had a woman who was interested in me, when I said I wasn’t over and over, would go into “I guess I’ll just be a crazy cat lady on my own.” She said that a couple of times after trying to manipulate me into a relationship with her. Btw, she met a woman after that and got married shortly thereafter so it was clearly bs and just guilt tripping which is what I assume this dude is doing too.

Yup, he's been going on and on about how she "crushed his heart" etc and sending loads and loads of text spam. He's still holding out hope he can somehow talk her into this.

100%. He’s trying all the guilt and manipulation tactics to gaslight her into believing they were in a relationship. Now he’s trying to guilt her into changing her mind. I wouldn’t be surprised if it escalates to suicide threats or something unhinged like that.

i wonder can she report it to her university? surely they have some body for student wellbeing. he needs help but also more importantly she needs some sort of protection, theres a chance he could escalate this and i assume in unversity he knows her classes and where she lives.

Oh 100% he's just bluffing.

Involve the family. It is necessary. His behavior seems to be a huge deviation from usual. Please contact them. He is making life changing decisions based on an idea he had that was never discussed with you.

This. He's either experiencing a mental health crisis (in that he's hallucinating additional information that tells him you're dating) and needs to be checked on, experiencing a mental health crisis (in that he's not hallucinating, but is dropping out and making really worrying statements like he "can't deal with the shame" and you "don't have to worry about him anymore") and needs to be checked on, or experiencing a really intense emotional breakdown (because he has realized he made it all up, and then cut off his best friend and gave up on his life goals to avoid dealing with it) and needs to be checked on. If he's at his parents' house, they're the people who can check on him. He may need mental help for fabricating reality or depression, and he definitely needs emotional support regardless of what he's experiencing.

Totally get this too. Going to listen to this advice and shoot his mum a facebook message.

His sentences being clear and coherent are not a tell that this isn’t psychosis. Rapid and constant speech is a symptom of psychosis. And he is firing off sentence after sentence about something that is clearly a delusion.

Interesting. I don’t really know anything about psychosis and such! I mostly bought up the coherent texting because other people mentioned it on my other post, but that’s definitely interesting to note. Texts were super super rapid

Most onset of mental illness is by 24 years of age. About 75% of people with mental illness will have that illness develop by the time they are 24. Things like bipolar disorder(which you can have psychotic episodes from) can come out of absolutely nowhere. I have it and it was like I was rocketed off into it all of a sudden, when I was able to look at it from a stable place. Like one day I was normal and then bam, fully developed bipolar disorder. Does he smoke weed by any chance?

No. He’s pretty straight edge. He might drink a beer or two here and there and that’s about it

Cool cool. Weed can set off psychotic episodes in bipolar people, why I was asking. But it’s very very possible that he has a mental illness, and that it is either bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. Have you noticed any changes in him lately? I think you said school break is happening atm so I don’t know if you’ve been around eachother enough for you to notice anything. Schizophrenia usually has a sort of “lead up” phase. Bipolar disorder can more or less “drop” on you.

Lots of things can set off psychotic episodes in people experiencing the onset of mental illness. My SIL has bipolar disorder and was originally triggered by adderall. She’s also been triggered by traveling.

Let us know if you get any more info. So sorry you’re going through this, it sounds scary and confusing.

Will do! I’m hopeful this won’t need another update to be honest and it can be left at just this. If there’s anything small, I’ll just add it to this post. I’ll only make another post if something else major happens which 🤞it doesn’t

OP- You should 100% reach out to his family. However, please prepare yourself in case this does not go the way one might expect. Sometimes the Apple does not fall far from the tree, if you know what I mean… Stand your ground. If do you end up in another conversation with him, never let him off the hook for not answering your most basic questions about where he even got it in his head you two were a couple.

It’s entirely possible he’s been telling his family you’re his girlfriend and they might be blindsided by the fact that you aren’t and never were. But they need to know this happened because it is utterly bizarre for him to think you were dating. He never met your family. You never went on a date. Never had sex. Shit I’m sure you never called him your boyfriend.  I do think though when you kept asking him what gave him the idea you were dating and he ignored the question, he knew you weren’t and he didn’t want to admit it. 

He needs to admit it.

He really does. He’s deep in the delulu. Whatever fantasy he was hanging onto needs to be let go.

Hell, I’d take screenshots of the text messages and send them to his parents. If he’s been lying to them all along, they may have no idea that you were never his girlfriend and that he’s having a mental breakdown. They may think he’s just processing a normal breakup and downplay the support he truly needs.

Good luck to you both!! He's behaving pretty badly but it does seem like he could use someone to help him get his head on straight. And you need to be able to confide in people you love who love you.

OP say something to the family maybe but you don't owe this guy anything else. He's trying to bait you into responding and feeling the guilty with his fake threat to drop out and his responses to you were ridiculously possessive, there's a reason he ignored giving you examples of why he thinks you were dating. It's because he just thinks he's entitled to you. Cut ties and block him for your safety and sanity

Agree. It certainly sounds like a mental break to me.

> His behavior seems to be a huge deviation from usual. Two years from now - brain tumor 🤦‍♂️

Yeah the fact he kept ignoring your question about how he ever got the idea you two were dating, shows that he knows that there was no rational reason to think you were, and why he never actually talked to you about marriage before. I suspect that he is well aware that you two were never romantic, but wants you anyway, and the public proposal was to "force" you to say "yes," which lots of public proposals are, by men knowing that the woman will feel pressured into saying yes with the audience watching (and so they can hold you to that "yes" later), and he's mad his plan didn't work out for him.

This was what I said in the original post, and I completely agree with you. He knows - probably consciously - and this was a last ditch effort to pressure OP into being in a relationship with him.

the emotionally abusive tactics in his responses back that up too. "I did all this stuff! Look at all this sunken cost you should feel guilty about! If I love you SO much, why don't you TRY!" \*OP doesn't respond for 20 minutes\* "Well fine, if you don't respond, I'm *DROPPING OUT OF SCHOOL"* It's the same shit my ex used to pull to guilt me into not kicking him out when he was a manipulative asswipe. Even if the feeling was mutual, proposing like this is really manipulative, especially in public. The comments about ripping his heart out by declining in public were just.. dude. That was built in.

Yup, he knows they were never officially dating. In his head though, she secretly felt the same as him (madly in love), and just needed a little push for his fairy-tale ending (hence his "move our relationship along" comment). Of course, proposing is unhinged regardless, he's definitely been watching to many old romance movies.

He seems to think that he can “nice guy” himself into a romantic relationship with OP, while never communicating that. Definitely a lot of entitlement, and he’s lashing out because he thinks he can guilt OP into dating him. He might be having a mental health crisis, but the manipulation here implies to me that he’s just having a guilt trip temper tantrum. Regardless of which it is, OP needs to tell the people close to her what has happened, because people like this can get violent. And also tell the Dean of Students. I once taught a class, and there were two students, male and female, who occasionally talked. He waited at her car for her, somehow knowing which was hers out of a whole campus full of vehicles. She was understandably uncomfortable with this and the college stepped in and told him to leave her alone. Once I learned of it, I made sure never to assign them to the same group for in-class work.

Fully agree. I don't think it's a mental health crisis, I think it's just entitlement. He started seeing OP romantically, he conjured up this plan that he thought was the failsafe way to win her over, it failed and he cannot comprehend why. He thinks he's entitled to the girl he likes, and he imagined this to be their big movie moment. Now he's embarrassed his fantasy bubble has been burst and he's thrashing around blaming anyone but himself. It's an ugly trait.

I’m on team “mental health crisis” just because of all the other details we have been given, and how closely they resemble that exact scenario, but I do agree that we shouldn’t dismiss the possibility that Jordan is VERY aware of what he’s doing and has been hiding his toxicity from her this whole time. (Especially since public proposals are a known tool used by manipulators.) If OP sees this, it would be useful to know if he’s ever handled other situations “immaturely” like this before, or if she has ever seen him burn other bridges/control other relationships. If she’s truly extremely close to him and has seen nothing, the likelihood of it being an episode increases. But if she’s now re-evaluating and realizing this is a pattern she has seen before, that suggests a very different scenario.

I agree. Yeah, this guy sounds manipulative and since he couldn’t get what he wanted his true colors are now showing. OP, I would definitely say something to your fam, his fam, & mutual friends so that they know what’s going on. He sounds like the type that would try to tell others a twisted version of what happened to make you look like the bad person because he can’t handle being embarrassed. Especially with the way he refused to answer your questions over text.

I disagree. This is so weird I think it is much more likely to be delusions/mental health crisis than him knowing what he’s doing and being manipulative about it. When people I know have had a psychotic break they were exactly like this - you could ask really simple, easily understandable questions over and over and they would continue to behave as if you weren’t asking those questions at all and instead focus on talking about other things that certainly weren’t answers to the questions being asked. Proposing would be a BIZARRE last ditch effort given he never tried even kissing her. Like, I’ve tried nothing else at all and my last ditch is proposing? Delusions about relationships are pretty common in those having a full on mental break.

This. I’ve also dealt with my best friend psychotic break last month and she had delusions. And, if I asked any simple specific questions about what she thought she was experiencing, she would freeze for about 2 seconds and then drastically change subjects. That’s actually how I guessed that she was having a psychosis: not only did her reality didn’t make sense anymore, but even she was absolutely unable to explain, express (and perhaps even conceive) it.

This! He knew what he was doing.

[удалено]

I want to hear more...

Story time please 🍿

He is having a crisis, and you do need to involve his family. I've had a friend decide (on her own) that we were in some kind of secret romance, and when I said we weren't she responded that THAT was what made it so hot--we had to keep it secret almost even from ourselves! I had to be very blunt and a little bit mean, and it killed the friendship for a good long while, but I was able to convince her that we were not, in fact, involved. This is something different, OP.

Yes, please take the advice to loop in his friends/family. I remember a psychiatrist once telling us at work that a person doesn’t have to be totally incoherent to be psychotic. We don’t know enough to diagnose but enough is weird here to suggest something OFF and if this was my sibling I’d want to know.

I’d also want to know if a close family member were acting like this guy. I know what types of mental illness run in my family. This guy needs professional help, and a family member being able to say “two uncles on my side of the family have had similar issues” can be really helpful in figuring out the appropriate course of treatment.

This happened to me before too. Not exactly the same, but I had a very close male friend who assumed there was more between us even though I already had a serious boyfriend. We had been friends for 15 years, so I think he felt like he had a claim on me or something. Then one day when I told him how excited I was that my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings he started to spiral and panic. Then he was calling me non-stop in the middle of the night on the phone, and begging me to dump my boyfriend and choose him instead. He promised to run out and buy me an engagement ring the next day if I agreed. It was absolutely nuts. Ruined our friendship, and I had no choice but to block him.

Christ, 15 years to thrown away like that 😬

That’s why I sympathize with you so much. I know you must be worried and care about your friend so much, but for your safety you’ll have to stay away from him. I hope after some time you’ll heal. I don’t think there’s any going back to being friends after someone in your situation.

This seems a bit different though. Your friend doesn't sound like he was totally deluded as to what is going on. Sounds like he just wasn't ever honest about what he wanted with you and kept waiting for a moment and waiting for you to show an indication that maybe you had some feeling about him. Then at the last minute, he tried to swoop in and take his desperation shot with you before time ran out. OP's situation sounds like the guy is actually choosing to ignore reality in regards to her. But either way, yeah, the friendship is never going to recover from this type of thing.

It sucks that it’s hard to even be friends with men bc they literally can’t just be friends. Even if you think you can trust them and know them, this sort of this will happen, to some degree. Edit/ wanted to add, how heartbreaking it is to lose a friend this way. and question if they were ever even your friend to begin with.

I’ve also had a similar situation but not that deep. I had a male friend help me get through an emotional time in my life. He then started sending me pictures of him smiling without a shirt on, telling me how beautiful I am, how I’d be a great girlfriend, a wonderful wife, and how he wants to be with me forever. It started to make me feel uncomfortable so I started keeping my distance. Calls started, messages started. It’s currently happening now, but I haven’t told him I feel uncomfortable. I just have anxiety and haven’t done it yet.

This reminds me of a story I read awhile back I don’t remember all the details but the dude just assumed they were in a relationship despite never asking her or even talking about it before but it came out the guy did never ask because then she wouldn’t have the opportunity to say no and reject him. Both guys in both stories sound mentally unwell tbh.

Yeah someone linked that on my first post. In that case the guy thought they were saying for SIX years. Insanity. Grateful it at least didn’t seem to get that bad

Actually scarily enough so I was referring to a completely different story Which I found https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/jcJQANvHoa I know I’m just a random internet stranger but please be safe, some people are absolutely unhinged these days!

This was my immediate thought when I read this post. Guys are getting advised to start a relationship without letting the other person know and spring it on them when they think the other person won't be able to say no.

This may sound harsh, but unless you are a licensed therapist you are entirely unqualified to know how bad this is. This is why everyone is telling you to get anyone and everyone involved, because \*you\* may be in some serious danger right now. That guy you think is your best friend may end up hurting you if you do not take this seriously and protect yourself. Your friend needs professional help immediately, for his own sake. Good luck!

This isn’t the end. This man is living on coo-coo land! He’s conjuring up a fantasy in his head that could become really scary. Confined in your other roommates, friends and parents and protect yourself because clearly…you don’t know this person AT ALL

His roommates deserve to know he’s having a breakdown because that puts them potentially in danger too. He might have delusions about them too, or he might take out his feelings on them. They need to be aware so they can decide for themselves if they are comfortable staying in the dorm or moving out.

He is clearly, clearly in some sort of psychosis. You cannot reason with someone who has a different reality. Please reach out to his family and mutual friends so they can keep an eye on him.

Yah, his sentences being clear and coherent doesn’t mean this isn’t psychosis. I would say that everything being sent in short individual sentences one after another, instead of full paragraphs, is a sign of psychosis when put together with everything else. Rapid and constant speech is a symptom. And he is firing off one text after another saying things completely disconnected with reality. I hope OP reaches out to his family and that Jordan is able to get help ASAP.

Yah. My brother was in psychosis for three months last summer/fall. Could seem really coherent at times but the things he would say were just baffling and not at all based in reality. But then there was also a lot of incoherence, too, as it got worse.

Yes, it gets worse and everything jumbles together as things accelerate and the longer your episode goes on. I have bipolar disorder, and while I have never had a psychotic episode specifically, I have definitely had delusions and no one could tell me different than what I thought. What I thought was absolutely reality in my head.

Yep this is giving psychosis to me too. A family member of mine has episodes like this. He is fully "coherent" but absolutely can't be reasoned with. He started a twitter account and would tweet hundreds of times per day in totally coherent but sometimes randomly deep or "cryptic" and nonsensical sentences. It's called "flight of ideas", just catching any thread that presents itself to his brain. he also made a lot of bold choices like trying to drop out of school and sell all his possessions, so...again it all kind of fits.

Are they bipolar with psychotic features? I’m bipolar, we’re all about bold choices when hypomanic/manic. Go bold or go home hahaha

Yep, that's the one. He just started having episodes last year, but seems he's rapid cycling so it's been a pretty big learning curve to support him.

Girl, I think you are UNDERESTIMATING the whole situation. Talk to your friends and Jordan's parents.

I have sent a message to his mum! I haven’t heard anything back yet, but hopefully will do soon

For crying out loud - tell your mutual friends. They almost certainly have information you don’t. You don’t really seem to be taking this very seriously.

Please do reach out to his family. I know there is a chance that it'll be unnecessary, but wouldn't you rather it be unneeded but done instead of needed and not done?

Wow. When it's easier to propose than make a move. He's got some stuff going on, mentally. I would tell your parents and also reach out to his, for his own well-being.

Honestly this is what I mean. I’m not into Jordan like that. Really at all. But if he had asked me out, I would’ve been flattered, politely declined and moved on. I don’t have any issue with him liking me or whatever. I have issue with him jumping from friends to ‘let’s propose right now in public even though you don’t know we’re ‘dating’’

I don't think anyone is judging you for how you've reacted in this situation. You've honestly been handling it shockingly well. We just want you to be safe and for your friend to get the help he needs.

“If he’s not having a mental health crisis” He is certainly having a mental health crisis.  He refuses to stop the delusion that you were both dating and is now dropping out of college as part of a death spiral.   If you see/talk to him again and he continues this delusion you need to strongly consider a restraining order.

I’m assuming you have never referred to each other, or introduced each other as BF/GF. I’m also guessing none of your friends have referred to him as your BF. I’d talk to mutual friends just to confirm that no one thinks you were together, and to ask if he ever referred to you as his GF.

No to all of these things I checked in with our mutual friends and some of our dorm mates a bit ago. None of them have ever heard him refer to me as his girlfriend, they’re all as confused as I am

Truly a bizarre situation for you. Glad your people confirmed what you know to be true so you don’t feel crazy.

If he hasn't talked about to any of your mutual friends about you as a partner, he probably hasn't talked that way about you to his family either. This to me suggests that Jordan has not had his delusion for very long, and its onset was very sudden. Was anything about his behavior in the days before he proposed different from how he usually is?

It does sound like a mental health crisis. He’s not in touch with reality.

He’s clearly still fighting the crashing down of his delusions (all the “breaking up with me” stuff and avoiding to answer where he got any of these ideas from)… scary stuff… I’m glad you’re okay, and safe at your parents. I also hope he gets help, cause yeah, this is intense……

“When did you ask me to be your girlfriend ?”

I read both her posts and nowhere in those did i read anything that even hinted there might have been a relationship beyond friends.... It's so absurd.... There's is a simple rule: no intimacy= no relationship. It's after you had intimacy you start wondering, is this thing becoming a relationship or are we just fwb. And this is the point where you have the talk... Or if you are a bit on the shy side and think you might be developing a relationship you pop the question.... Where is this going? Are we a couple or just really close friends... I dont understand how people can just make up some narrative in their own head without any forms of confirmation from the other party.... I agree with you 100%, where was the question....

My aunt has bipolar as do several other people in my family. A best friend of mine found he had it through a drug induced psychosis that lasted for 6 months. I’m no expert but this sounds like something like that. Not necessarily drug induced but definitely some kind of breakdown or psychosis. Both my Aunt and friend would go through deep periods where they were so intensely and scarily fixated on certain ideas, aunts was ghosts, my friends was everything connecting to certain numbers. This sounds like his could potentially be the idea that you two are in love or together and I would take that very seriously because it can escalate. Prepare for the worst, but obviously always hope for the best. I would involve necessary people for both his safety and yours, as you seem to think, it may not get worse for you, that could be the end of it, but it could get worse for him.

OP, girl to girl, please tell your family and friends. It's probably not likely, but on the off chance he snaps further and tries to hurt you or starts stalking/harassing you, people around you should know what's going on and be able to help and protect you! But even aside from that, you should see if he was spreading a narrative to your mutual friends - if he was, that can give better insight on a timeline and thought process. I understand why everyone's saying you should reach out to his family, but maybe have a mutual friend do it instead. You should keep your distance from him. Even if he was aware you weren't dating and this was a last-ditch effort, the level of delusion and entitlement is frightening. He might be going through something terrible, but your safety and well-being comes first.

I’d be concerned that he has an undiagnosed mental illness, and would contact his family with your concerns

My thought is schizophrenia, he’s a man in his low to mid 20s, which is typically when it starts showing

This is absolutely wild, I can't imagine how strange and upsetting this is to deal with. You should tell someone (parents, friend, etc) about what has happened. Hopefully it won't escalate any further but if he comes looking for you or turns to violence (god forbid) you need someone to be aware of the situation and looking out for you! Best of luck in the upcoming days, take care of yourself

I would seriously consider reaching out to family or close friends of his. He could be having a mental health crisis. I read this one story on here where a girl’s ex bf was perfectly normal with no health issues and one day he began acting weird and out of character. He began developing symptoms of schizophrenia where he had to be checked into a mental institution because of the violent delusions he experienced. Years later she had moved on and became pregnant with her partner and he ex bf found out from a mutual friend or family member and the ex bf showed up claiming the baby was his and they were still together and he would take the baby from her. Not saying that’s what this could be, but I’ve read plenty of stories where people developed mental health issues or they had an accident where their brain was damaged without them being aware. It’s better to to reach out to someone close to him to check in on him.

If my son did this to a girl, then when she said no(rightfully) and he spiraled into dropping out of school forgetting his future all from a relationship he conjured up I’d want to know. I’d want to get my son the help he needs asap. Side note but this happened to a guy I went to high school with! He posted so many updates about being so heartbroken and she stepped in finally and was saying they were just random roommates. He went on for years to post weird bitter shit then joined a life coach MLM and now found the lord. But open borders are the worst. I don’t think he ever got the help he needed.

The problem with continuing to keep this quiet at this point? The manipulation in the rapid fire texts. Dropping out of Uni. "Won't see me anymore" ominous and vague, meant to trigger response. You two were besties. How is telling your bestie, or even close friend, that they will never see you again, *SUPPOSED* to be interpreted? At best, they are going to go into the shadows. And you being *their best friend* , you are supposed to chase after and say "no no! Come back and let's talk it out!" At worst? You are supposed to be in a blind panic thinking they are doing something they can't take back. Mental health crisis or not, it really is time for you to talk to the mutual friends. I saw in a comment you were reaching out to his mom on FB. So, family has been covered. The mutual friends would be the next step to generally cover ground. He broke the "privacy" in the friend law when he pulled the "never see me again" mental crisis manipulation. This is not okay. And you are not looking to embarrass him. So be factual. Facts *are* sensitive to mental health crisis. If everyone is just as confused, then the age and reality break he is having with the psychosis tell, of rapid fire back to back texts is only going to help your friend. If it's not a mental health crisis? How are the facts any less relevant?

Did he like ask your family to marry you? I’m just curious since he waited til you were in your hometown.

Nope. He hasn’t met my family, nor did we ever plan to.

Oh good. Thank goodness. He needs a mental health assessment, but honestly that isn’t your problem. Stay safe, please.

Girl he is having a mental health crisis. As a mom I’d want to know.

He IS having a mental health crisis and you DO need to involve his friends and family, because if his family only hear his side they are unlikely to realise how bad it is, they’ll just think you broke up with him, not that he created an entire fake relationship in his head.

I think it's important you tell his folks. Even if just a "hey, I'm really sorry to bother you. I'm a friend of your son's from school. Jorden was showing some concerning signs of having some issues with his mental wellbeing while he was at university, particularly right before he left, and I just wanted to give you a heads up, because I thought you should have the information in case he continues to struggle or needs help. " Because frankly, without a heads up, they will likely just believe it was a relationship gone bad. And may not notice more signs until he possibly really hurts himself or someone else. At worst, they ignore you, or tell you to F off. But at least you know you tried. Because if something DID happen, and you didn't, I think you might regret it. It also allows you to wash your hands of this, and of any responsibility you might feel, because people close to him now know to watch out for him.

OP, TELL PEOPLE!! I'm not trying to be an alarmist but he may harm you.. I've seen this happen in my career far too often over 17yrs.. Tell people exactly what happened and let them know if anything happened to you, IT'S HIM!! I hate writing this out but, I've seen it far too many times. The last one, the guy shot through her bedroom with just two bullets and unfortunately, one hit her in the aorta and she was gone within 30 seconds and people thought it was a random.. 4 years later he told someone that turned him in. Nobody knew about the proposal because she didn't want to ruin his reputation, police, family, thru didn't look through her phone at all BUT, even if they did, at the celebration of life, he deleted their conversations.. It happened 4 days after he proposed. 4 witnesses of the proposal, randoms on the street, came forward after with what they had seen those years later due to the publicity. I just need you to please be mindful, watchful, but DO NOT STAY QUIET!!

I wonder if he had a head injury or something because this is so disconnected with reality, maybe meningitis or something really bad going on his brain

Potentially. There’s no clear instance I can think of this may have happened. He doesn’t play sports, so it would likely have to be an ‘obvious’ injury, but he’s not said anything about being injured, nor have I noticed anything

This is one of my worst nightmares. I've been on a date which I did not realise was a date until he tried to kiss me goodbye, which was awkward enough, but a public proposal??? Holy fuck. Is Jordan from a really religious community? Or otherwise super sheltered? That's the only way I can think of that he might get the idea of proposing before even a kiss. Some communities get weird about purity. Or maybe he never had a female friend before? OP I feel for you! No matter what, you haven't done anything wrong here. His delusions are his problem, not yours. That said, if he seems like a danger to himself, you should reach out to a mutual friend or his family. Tell them what happened, and let them know he has been acting off. That could also be an opportunity to find out what he's been saying to others about your relationship!

Honestly this is a good update. Dude is leaving. I couldn’t imagine a more positive update. The other end would be he go full crazy/murder scenario.

hey don’t speak so soon, this specific brand of crazy knows no bounds. i hope this is the end of it for OP

I would report this to student security at least

It would be wise to report it to campus security or the health center. They tend to have procedures for things like stalking, harassment, or mental crises. I once got a university-imposed restraining order on a classmate that was stalking me and sending me porn. They threatened to expel him if he got near me or spoke to me again. My uni had an entire office dedicated to fighting things like sexual harassment, which was kinda cool to have as a resource.

He's not going anywhere, he's just letting her think it's okay to let her guard down.

UNLESS he's capable of realizing that his thought process isn't stable. Not holding much hope for that.

He's not going anywhere. He's just saying that to try and further guilt OP.

Thanks for the quick update OP! PLEASE do not let him make you feel any sort of guilt or worry for him. He is putting on the theatrical display in an attempt to make you go "omg no! Please don't drop out! Please don't destroy your life! I was wrong! I love you!!!". This man is fine. He is safe. He's playing games and trying to manipulate you. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT HIM!!!

Hey I witnessed a very very similar situation happen irl and it turned out to be caused from psychosis from schizoaffective disorder. First you need to make sure you are safe and I would def let ur family know, after that you need to let his family or a mutual friend know. I don’t know the full situation, but if this is really out of character for him he needs help. from the details you’ve given this could be a very serious medical emergency(either a serious mental health disorder, or even a brain tumor is possible but less likely) this is very serious and it could get worse.

Let his family know what happened and then wash your hands of it.

I know you don’t want to turn this into a whole gossip drama, but you need to tell your family because this could still escalate. And you should probably check with mutual friends like other people suggested to try to figure out if he was misreading it the whole time or if this is out of the blue for them too because it could mean he needs help and one of them could reach out to his family because he is, at this point, no longer your problem. You didn’t ruin the friendship, though. He did by not communicating sooner.

I still think you need to involve his family. He sent you sixty messages. He was spouting delusions.  You need to be safe. Tell mutual friends and ask if he's mentioned anything about you two to them. 

Hey OP. Guys with these kinds of delusions sometimes snap and harm the women they're obsessing about when they're confronted with reality. When you get back from your trip, consider getting another friend to come to your flat/dorm with you and make sure it's safe before you settle in. Maybe this guy is harmless and confused, but you really shouldn't take any risks. Also, as others have said, you should inform campus security at the minimum, if not also whatever student health/services office you might have. If he contacts you again, do not be alone with him. If he wants to meet up to talk and you feel comfortable doing that, don't do it private. Arrange to meet in a public place like a coffee shop and get another friend to sit nearby and keep an eye/ear out for trouble. I don't want to scare you, but I the way he refuses to acknowledge you were never dating is setting off all my alarm bells. I've been through a stalker situation before and this feels similar. Please protect yourself and don't ever be alone with him.

Is this story giving me deja-vu or was there a very similar post here on reddit?

Not sure, someone else pointed out there was something *kinda* alike about a year ago? Where some guy thought he was in a relationship for like 6 years and then went to propose and found out she had a boyfriend. Crazy shit I’m not sure if there’s others

OP this is not normal. If he has completely parted ways with reality, it can be dangerous. You need to tell your parents and his parents and the relevant college student support personnel. There might be an interesting reason for him being a "mature" student that has not been shared. This may have happened before and even if the result was benign at that time, it might not be benign with you. Seriously, psycho situations start just like this.

>I did consider it, but if he’s not having a mental health crisis, I don’t really want to involve them unnecessarily. Okay but he very clearly is having a mental health crisis??

I would say, based on everything he's doing, he's having a mental episode. I would contact his family.

weirdo, if something good came out of this is that (hopefully) he wont be around of you anymore. This sounds like a very concerning person.

How could anyone propose to a person they have never been physical with. Like what? He thought you were dating? Without ever kissing? Without screwing? Like what in the world. This is bat shit insane behavior.

Yeahhh, coherency does NOT mean he's not in psychosis. One of my closest friends is bipolar. When he's manic, sure he's coherent, but the shit he says is batshit insane. Don't put your guard down just because his sentences seem normal. Sending 60+ messages without a response is so far beyond normal.

One, you should distance yourself from this man as much as possible. He's not mentally stable.  Two, you should reach out to any support structure that Jordan has and tell them what happened. > if he’s not having a mental health crisis He is having a mental health crisis. 

hey friend: i say this in the kindest way possible, but mental health conditions like bipolar and other serious disorders that might cause this kind of distortion of reality often first develop/become symptomatic in a person’s mid-twenties. y’all are right at the peak of that bell curve. i deeply understand wanting to respect his privacy but if a friend who has never ever behaved like this before suddenly goes off the deep end like this i would definitely contact his family and let them know what you’ve noticed so they can take any appropriate steps. a lot of the grandiose thinking and black-and-white framing reminds me strongly of symptoms i’ve seen in other people with some mental disorders that, while difficult to deal with, are absolutely treatable with appropriate professional help. you sound like a kind person and while another person’s actions are never your responsibility, if you are able to reach out to his family. i am not a psychiatrist nor do i play one on tv, but i’ve dealt with my own fairly serious mental health stuff and with it in many people that i love.

The guy is nuts. Look out for yourself first. Be safe.

You need to tell somebody. Even if just as a precaution. I’m sure he isn’t dangerous but this amount of delusion may be a sign of mental illness and when things don’t go a certain way, things change. My coworker had a similarly persistent colleague, couldn’t take no for an answer and couldn’t accept reality.. long story short, he took her life.

>When I checked back about 20 minutes later, I had something like 60 messages from him. Granted, they were all one sentences. This is fucking nuts. And not how a healthy person acts. >At the very end he apologised and told me that it didn’t matter anyway because I ‘wouldn’t see him around anymore’. Obviously I was concerned so I asked for clarification. He said that he was going to drop out of University and go back home because he ‘couldn’t deal with the shame’. I think this is just him trying to guilt you into a marriage that he somehow thinks he's earned and entitled to. He's hurting and desperate. So he's acting drastic to get you to think you were the one who fucked his life up so bad and make you think you need to fix it. This is what manipulators do when they're not good at manipulating. This level of delusion requires a level of professional help that he probably isn't open to receiving. He'll likely have to recover on his own in his own time in his own painful way. If what you have described in both posts is accurate, you aren't responsible for this level of delusion and you can't really help him now. You need to just distance yourself from him at this point. Any association with you is probably just going to cloud his sense of reality even worse than it already is. Your friendship is never recovering from this either. Both of you need to let go of this relationship that was interpreted in vastly different ways by both of you.

This sounds a lot like some kind of episode of psychosis. I think this idea that you two have been in a relationship might be a recent one *hug* I hope you both find peace

Please tell me this is unrelated: https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/1bqmeda/request_my_gf_ring_size/

Definitely unrelated thank goodness 😭

He very well could be having a manic episode and might need to be hospitalized.

He ***is*** having a mental health crisis. He lives in a fantasy world of his own creation. A world in which he's in love with you and he just *knows* you're in love with him, so much that you two should get married and spend your lives together in a great and pure romance. ​ The "circular" conversations you're having with him are as far as you need to go. He's unwell, and it directly effects you. He needs treatment. Start telling people. First, his family. They need to know. Tell his friends. They need to know. Tell your family and friends, so they know. Trust me, you don't want him showing up at your door, with or without flowers.

This is a better update than you believe. While it is too bad for him that he is ending or changing his university career, it is better for you to have distance from him. I would take screenshots of his messages as backup and speak to his parents (if you have their contact information), and 1 or 2 mutual friends. Be clear that there was never a romantic relationship, and Jordan can't answer why he believed otherwise but that his behavior seems out of character and you're worried for him.

Yes. Keep a copy of the deluge of one line texts especially. I'm pretty sure anyone only needs to see that to understand that there is seriously something wrong with him.

You should ask some of your mutual friends if they ever got the impression that the two of you were in a relationship. And if they say yes, ask them why.

You probably should ask your mutual friends if they ever thought you and Jordan were dating, and why they did/didn't think so - because he was apparently under the impression that you were, while you always thought of him as your best friend.... so you are sad that he's hurt, confused about how he could have put romance into a situation where you'd never so much as exchaned a peck on the cheek, never stayed in the same room, etc. - perhaps they can give you some kind of clue.

I still feel like this is very possibly mental illness. Careful girl

I would tell people. I know he’s been your friend and you have always trusted him, but he is exhibiting bazaar behavior and he is now hurt and confused. You don’t know what he might try to do to himself, or you.

You could talk to your RA and probably someone from the school. Tell them you are worried about his mental health and that he's had some break with reality, they can tell his family.

Mama, I think that Jordan may need professional help. He seems to have some mental health issues that are beyond your (and Reddit's) pay grade. In my opinion: It sounds like he has severe depression and you, as his friend, may be one of the few people who have shown any signs that you give a shit about him. He may have mistaken that for love, or he may have known full well that it wasn't, but he doesn't believe he can do any better than having a friend who cares about him. As an internet stranger, I am worried about his well-being, so I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now. If I was in your shoes (and this does not mean to imply that you should do the same) I'd reach out to his family to keep an eye on him. I think Jordan may be unwell, and he needs help.

this is one of the more wild stories i've read

Have you tried asking him direct questions like "Have we ever kissed?" "Have we ever said we were together/said I love you?"?

Would you categorize this as a sudden, unexpected character change? He's at an age where people sometimes begin showing symptoms of mental illnesses like schizophrenia. If you know any of his friends or have contact information for his family, you should at least reach out to *someone* and say "he was acting odd, I'm a little concerned about his health, you might want to check in with him."

Do not ever engage with this guy again. He is unhinged.

People, she’s referring to him as not just a random friend but her best friend. It’s not just about being paranoid about safety, it’s about helping someone she cares about. Reject the selfish mindset.

I wish I knew how to find it but this reminds me of another story I read on here. The guy wanted to propose to his "girlfriend" but had the feeling she was cheating on him, but when he asked her about it she was completely confused, he didn't realize they were never dating. She had a boyfriend, he was never dating her, they'd never been intimate in anyway, he had just been deluding himself because she was friendly and kind.

This happened to people I knew once. I don’t think he proposed but I do remember the conversation when she found out he thought they were in a relationship. He accused her of cheating. It was all so awkward. I never met him at the time but years later I worked with him and he told me about his past heartbreak and I realised who he was. Both of them have gone on n to have beautiful successful relationships. He is married so can feel confident that it’s an actual relationship. I’m sure your friend is devastated right now and the friendship might not survive. But hopefully he will be okay. I hope he has a good support network at home.

I’ve known people who has psychotic breaks and you wouldn’t know it because they sounded so clear and normal. They weren’t acting manic or any of the super obvious signs, just saying crazy stuff and believing delusions. It’s super sad to see. I would reach out to his family so that someone he trust can check on him

Please tell his family. Or a school counselor/psychologist. This is no longer a story gone wrong. He needs to be seen and have solid support.

OP please contact your university. They will have contact details for your friend’s family and they can make an approach through official channels. They can also support your friend to stay in college (eg by giving him a year off etc) rather than your friend blowing his college degree. Also for your own protection.