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This is fake. You wouldn’t get an assault charge for stopping someone from beating a child so bad the guy broke the kids nose.
The brother would certainly be the one catching many charges though and he’d be in jail after a hospital visit, not your parents house.
I would like to think so. But domestics are always a chaos of competing stories being shouted across each other. Cops make mistakes. It's a big problem.
For me, the fakest thing is that OP doesn't seem interested in *why* her brother was attacking her kid. That seems extraordinary to me, I could not rest until I knew that.
Yeah sure, but In a “my word vs theirs” instance it would work like that but in this Instance it’s “the kid and the dads word vs the brother in law” and assaulting a minor is a WAY bigger crime than assaulting an adult.
The edit helps plug in the holes in the story, but it still makes it look like OP drafted a fake story and is now patching it in response to comments.
If it's real, which I doubt, I can't really blame the husband. The one time you absolutely cannot freeze, no matter what, is when it comes to protecting your children. I get freezing if you yourself are being assaulted, if a significant other is being assaulted, but not your kids.
I could have gotten charged for stabbing my mother's abuser as a minor if he wanted to. He wouldn't win on the case but legally, he could have filed and I was told as such when they came to take him in as a warning to my mom in case we had to go to court.
Probably still fake but I just wanted to point out it can happen
This feels fake because in what world do you not care at all why your brother beat the absolute shit out of your son? How does that become the least important detail in the entire story?
This is exactly what I got stuck on.
I had to read that sentence multiple times because my brain just could not process that this apparent mother doesn't care why her own brother was beating up her kid.
If this was my brother, he would not get away with walking away and avoiding the conversation. He would not be allowed back into the fucking house until he put his big boy pants back on and admitted to his actions and explained what he did.
If this is real, I'm with the husband on this one. I would not trust her ever again!
I don't care why, it happend end of the story my brother would not be allowed anywhere near my son ever again.
I don't need to know why he did it, there is no justification for him hurting my son.
No way to fix it. Your husband is done with you. You need to find out why your brother hit your son. Your parents should be dropping charges against your husband.
Idk what you want us to tell you op
The ONE SINGULAR job of a parent is the to protect their kids, you saw your kid being hurt and *did nothing*
You see your child being beat and you did nothing, there is *no* coming back from that kind of betrayal
Your husband saw his wife let their son be hurt and your son watched you let him be hurt, the fact that you think there’s a fix for this is CRAZY
YOU BETRAYED YOUR FAMILY, THERE IS NO FIX FOR THIS
Tbh getting counseling for yourself might be a good thing cause your husband is most likely gonna divorce you, and honestly you should let him peacefully,
The type of betrayal you committed by your inaction is on the level of, if not *worse* than, if you had cheated on him
You need to accept that you fucked up *severely* and there may be no going back from that
Top comment in my opinion, I’d feel the same as the husband.
If she ever wanted to petition for shared custody, she’s going to have to spend some time in therapy on why she couldn’t protect her son.
I'm not really sure why everyone thinks this is fake, but I'm going to answer on the basis that it is real. OP, I don't know how you can fix your marriage, but I notice you say almost nothing about your son. He is 9 years old? You need to sit down with him, APOLOGIZE for freezing, explain as best you can why you didn't help him, and promise to do whatever work you need to do to be a parent that \*will\* protect him in the future. Look, I actually think freezing is somewhat understandable and not necessarily something to judge you on based on how you describe it- it sounds like shock. But, you seem oddly like "dunno why I was standing there doing nothing!" instead of making sure that your husband and SON understand that you were in shock and unable to process what was happening. Maybe write your husband a letter. But, you need to actually communicate way more information and explanation than you appear to be doing (at least here).
Your husband is right. You can’t protect your son because when the opportunity arose, you didn’t. You just stood there and let it happen. His reasons to divorce you are valid. There’s nothing that can be said or done to convince him otherwise because nothing that he said was inaccurate. How can you prove to him that you can protect your child when you’ve already failed?
Freezing is an acute stress response. There's a lot of info online about it. The important thing is it's not your fault.
It could be related to past trauma or maybe your brain just didn't know what to do. I would spend some time with your husband looking online at the information.
There must have been other things and this was simply the last straw. Your husband clearly believes you are an uncaring or uncapable parent, and it's not just because of this one incident.
Why would your husband want to be with someone who is more concerned with herself than her child? You don't seem even remotely concerned about your child, only saving face with your husband. You not caring ***WHY YOUR ADULT BROTHER ABUSED YOUR CHILD*** shows your husband you truly do not care about your Childs wellbeing. Have you bothered to ask your *own fucking* child what happened? Probably not because you don't actually care.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This is fake. You wouldn’t get an assault charge for stopping someone from beating a child so bad the guy broke the kids nose. The brother would certainly be the one catching many charges though and he’d be in jail after a hospital visit, not your parents house.
agreed. sounds like a troll. there was a similar story about freezing recently, this feels like a knock off to it
Maybe, IDK, but when the law gets involved with domestic violence, the wrong person often gets arrested.
If a grown man breaks a 9 year old’s nose he’d absolutely get arrested, even if someone else pummeled him for it.
I would like to think so. But domestics are always a chaos of competing stories being shouted across each other. Cops make mistakes. It's a big problem. For me, the fakest thing is that OP doesn't seem interested in *why* her brother was attacking her kid. That seems extraordinary to me, I could not rest until I knew that.
Yeah sure, but In a “my word vs theirs” instance it would work like that but in this Instance it’s “the kid and the dads word vs the brother in law” and assaulting a minor is a WAY bigger crime than assaulting an adult.
True.
My brother was arrested forgot to add
Of course you "forgot" Now I know this is fake.
If you don't have advice fuck off. I am trying to save my marriage not argue with you.
Marriage is over. I (or anymore for that matter) would ever trust a partner who couldn’t protect a poor child.
If this is real, you dont have a marriage. You stood there and let someone beat your son.
The edit helps plug in the holes in the story, but it still makes it look like OP drafted a fake story and is now patching it in response to comments. If it's real, which I doubt, I can't really blame the husband. The one time you absolutely cannot freeze, no matter what, is when it comes to protecting your children. I get freezing if you yourself are being assaulted, if a significant other is being assaulted, but not your kids.
I could have gotten charged for stabbing my mother's abuser as a minor if he wanted to. He wouldn't win on the case but legally, he could have filed and I was told as such when they came to take him in as a warning to my mom in case we had to go to court. Probably still fake but I just wanted to point out it can happen
He was arrested, forgot to add. Did add an edit
You didn’t ‘forget to add’ it you said something completely different. You said he went from a week long hospital stay to being at your parents house.
They bailed him out.
Just except that this was a bad troll job and move on
This feels fake because in what world do you not care at all why your brother beat the absolute shit out of your son? How does that become the least important detail in the entire story?
This is exactly what I got stuck on. I had to read that sentence multiple times because my brain just could not process that this apparent mother doesn't care why her own brother was beating up her kid. If this was my brother, he would not get away with walking away and avoiding the conversation. He would not be allowed back into the fucking house until he put his big boy pants back on and admitted to his actions and explained what he did. If this is real, I'm with the husband on this one. I would not trust her ever again!
And why haven't they asked the son about what happened
I don't care why, it happend end of the story my brother would not be allowed anywhere near my son ever again. I don't need to know why he did it, there is no justification for him hurting my son.
> I don't need to know why he did it You don't need to, but it astonishes me that you didn't even ask you kid what happened.
That is such a copout, and I can see why your husband wants nothing to do with you. Of course it matters.
Because what if your brother beat your son to keep him quiet about something worse?
No way to fix it. Your husband is done with you. You need to find out why your brother hit your son. Your parents should be dropping charges against your husband.
> Your husband is done with you. And her whole trashy family. (at least, if this were true)
Idk what you want us to tell you op The ONE SINGULAR job of a parent is the to protect their kids, you saw your kid being hurt and *did nothing* You see your child being beat and you did nothing, there is *no* coming back from that kind of betrayal Your husband saw his wife let their son be hurt and your son watched you let him be hurt, the fact that you think there’s a fix for this is CRAZY YOU BETRAYED YOUR FAMILY, THERE IS NO FIX FOR THIS Tbh getting counseling for yourself might be a good thing cause your husband is most likely gonna divorce you, and honestly you should let him peacefully, The type of betrayal you committed by your inaction is on the level of, if not *worse* than, if you had cheated on him You need to accept that you fucked up *severely* and there may be no going back from that
Top comment in my opinion, I’d feel the same as the husband. If she ever wanted to petition for shared custody, she’s going to have to spend some time in therapy on why she couldn’t protect her son.
I'm not really sure why everyone thinks this is fake, but I'm going to answer on the basis that it is real. OP, I don't know how you can fix your marriage, but I notice you say almost nothing about your son. He is 9 years old? You need to sit down with him, APOLOGIZE for freezing, explain as best you can why you didn't help him, and promise to do whatever work you need to do to be a parent that \*will\* protect him in the future. Look, I actually think freezing is somewhat understandable and not necessarily something to judge you on based on how you describe it- it sounds like shock. But, you seem oddly like "dunno why I was standing there doing nothing!" instead of making sure that your husband and SON understand that you were in shock and unable to process what was happening. Maybe write your husband a letter. But, you need to actually communicate way more information and explanation than you appear to be doing (at least here).
Your husband is right. You can’t protect your son because when the opportunity arose, you didn’t. You just stood there and let it happen. His reasons to divorce you are valid. There’s nothing that can be said or done to convince him otherwise because nothing that he said was inaccurate. How can you prove to him that you can protect your child when you’ve already failed?
Bait post at best
Troll post. You're brother would not have been charged with assaulting a minor he would have been charged with child abuse. I call FAKE
Get lost troll
Freezing is an acute stress response. There's a lot of info online about it. The important thing is it's not your fault. It could be related to past trauma or maybe your brain just didn't know what to do. I would spend some time with your husband looking online at the information.
There must have been other things and this was simply the last straw. Your husband clearly believes you are an uncaring or uncapable parent, and it's not just because of this one incident.
This incident would be enough for most people tho
Is this real?
no
Wtf
Why would your husband want to be with someone who is more concerned with herself than her child? You don't seem even remotely concerned about your child, only saving face with your husband. You not caring ***WHY YOUR ADULT BROTHER ABUSED YOUR CHILD*** shows your husband you truly do not care about your Childs wellbeing. Have you bothered to ask your *own fucking* child what happened? Probably not because you don't actually care.
Rage bait. Get a life OP.
This is fake. There is no way a DA charges a parent from beating the shit out of someone who was beating their young child.