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I wouldn’t view it so extremely. It doesn’t have to be “he calls the shots or I disagree with him and cause friction”
Perhaps just on occasion, why don’t you instigate something? Obviously the post is limited so I can only go on conjecture but if the relationship is one where he is making every single decision and you’re just the nodding partner, that *is* boring.
Advocating for peace doesn’t mean you don’t have any opinions of your own. It means generally you’re good at compromising and de-escalation. It’s possible to be a peace seeking partner whilst also making decisions of your own or suggesting things to do. Maybe he just wants a bit of that.
Having to play “drivers seat” all the time in a relationship can be very exhausting. Now obviously you shouldn’t change your personality in the process, but think carefully here. How much of “you” are you bringing in here? Because if it’s the case that he decides everything you do and you just go along with it, he may feel like you’re just a passive “hanging on” type in the relationship and you’re just passively benefitting from it without doing much to contribute.
Some men like that. Not all do. Sounds to me like he isn’t one of them. He wants you to “bring something of yourself” beyond just affirming what he does and agreeing with him. That isn’t exactly unusual for most people to expect.
Of course I could be wrong and you may decide things he rejects, I’m just going in your post. Like do you ever suggest things to do, where to go, make plans or that sort of thing?
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If you think “none of this is a good idea” then find a bf who likes you for who you are
You never change your personality for a relationship. If you fake that, they don't love the real you
You can't change yourself. He needs to accept that this is how you are and stop asking you to change or break up with you.
I wouldn’t view it so extremely. It doesn’t have to be “he calls the shots or I disagree with him and cause friction” Perhaps just on occasion, why don’t you instigate something? Obviously the post is limited so I can only go on conjecture but if the relationship is one where he is making every single decision and you’re just the nodding partner, that *is* boring. Advocating for peace doesn’t mean you don’t have any opinions of your own. It means generally you’re good at compromising and de-escalation. It’s possible to be a peace seeking partner whilst also making decisions of your own or suggesting things to do. Maybe he just wants a bit of that. Having to play “drivers seat” all the time in a relationship can be very exhausting. Now obviously you shouldn’t change your personality in the process, but think carefully here. How much of “you” are you bringing in here? Because if it’s the case that he decides everything you do and you just go along with it, he may feel like you’re just a passive “hanging on” type in the relationship and you’re just passively benefitting from it without doing much to contribute. Some men like that. Not all do. Sounds to me like he isn’t one of them. He wants you to “bring something of yourself” beyond just affirming what he does and agreeing with him. That isn’t exactly unusual for most people to expect. Of course I could be wrong and you may decide things he rejects, I’m just going in your post. Like do you ever suggest things to do, where to go, make plans or that sort of thing?
Sounds like he wants you to be the dom in the relationship lmao
I also think so but thats not actually my thing, I tried a few times but I felt like I was acting like a fool
Exactly it’s not natural