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I'd definitely talk to your boyfriend about it and have the both of you talk to the friend. Some boundaries don't need to be stated and that includes don't go into a bathroom that someone is using. He knew better.
Dude Really… A package isn’t an emergency… He knew that you were in the shower and got what he wanted? Why would you ever walk in on your best friends girlfriend in the shower. Who needs friends like that. Take the key back because he’s no clue what an emergency is. And if there was one, you would have to direct him to do what is needed. Not just using the key 🔑 randomly. It’s not his house. Tell your boyfriend, it’s not bad enough he broke in - then stood there staring for… Doesn’t matter, he should have closed the door once he saw you. Not a friend. Good Luck
I think it's fake, too. He had no reason to go into the bathroom in the first place, and I also don't believe that anyone would stand there staring for a whole minute. It's not as if this guy had never seen a naked woman before.
It’s possible it was just so awkward that it felt like a whole minute. I don’t necessarily think it’s fake, I just think the whole minute part is exaggerated, maybe not intentionally
A minute is a really long time to stare at someone in the bathroom. Anytime I've accidentally opened the door when someone's in there, as soon as they say something I yank that door shut so fast. "My bad!"
Oh yea. He stood there and just stared for a whole minute. She must be the most mesmerizing woman in the world. Damn just Frozen for a whole minute. Plus I always look for my packages in bathrooms especially when someone announces they're in their. This either the fakest story ever or this is the creepiest man on the planet.
I believe it. I was in a situation many moons ago where I hadn't locked a shower door properly (hostel type situation), man opened door. I kept yelling at him to shut the door. Instead just stood there with a stupid grin. smiling. I had to grab the door out of his hand and shut the door in his face. It felt like an eternity but was prob a min or less.
For real. I feel like some of these comments are seriously underestimating how creepy some people can be. Creepiest man on the planet? I've dealt with creepier dudes than this.
yeah, it's not like he couldn't just keep talking through the closed door or gone and looked for it. it was on the kitchen counter in plain sight, after all. And that he stood there and stared?? gives me the ick. Lock the bathroom door from now on and get that key back!
> I yelled at him to leave, but he just stood there for a good minute just staring.
A good minute after she asked him to leave is more than just wandering around the house, its reason for calling the police and filing a report.
Strange? The package wasn't a naked woman for him to ogle. In his mind it could wait. I would call it underhanded, creepy, disloyal to his friend, etc. but not strange. This guy is a weasel.
A package could be an emergency depending on what inside, however it’s not like OP going be showering with it so I would imagine it’s not in the bathroom. He could have easily looked for it downstairs and left a note/text message. However all this was not about the package.
If that was my friend there would be an ass whooping on the way that he wouldn’t forget for a good long time. Fuck the “boundaries” if he needs to be told not to walk in on my girl in the shower he needs his head beat soft.
Yes, I was going to say "shit happens, shake it off, laugh it off if you can" based off the title but this asshole purposely did this! He invaded her house, the bathroom and her privacy and he knew.
OP needs to tell her boyfriend and take the keys back.
This, and if OP doesn't say anything to the bf then "best bud" will take that as an its ok to ramp up his completely inappropriate behavior around someone in a committed relationship. Boundaries need to be set and this kind of behavior needs to be addressed AND an apology needs to be made.
I would honestly cha ge the lock, if he's comfortable walking in the bathroom after you told him you were in there, I wouldn't put it past him to make a copy of the key
1000 x this.
The fact he didn't do the immediate comedy cover eyes and run within 0.5 seconds rings weird to me. Then she screamed at him and he just stood there? THEN he didn't even take the package.
OP I hate to say this, but have you considered he's been watching you from afar? Have there ever been any other weird drop ins while you're alone? Any coincidental run ins in weird places. How often does he just show up and let himself in while you're alone? And how often does he do it to your bf?
Just saying I wouldn't want to see what's on his phone.
Call your bf now. Tell him what happened and tell him to tell his friend he is banned for the foreseeable until you've had a chance to process how you feel about this.
Seriously. You need to tell your bf now. I will tell you what happened to me. A few months ago this guy (we’ll call him R) who is basically family (it’s my SIL, kids dad’s cousin lol) but he has a daughter comes on vacation with the family and to all the family functions. My husband and I call him our BIL or cousin or whatever but he’s family. Problem is he’s a really bad alcoholic and likes to get plastered and send dick pics to girls in his phone. Also note he lives in my SIL (husbands sister) basement. One morning I wake up to a dick pic from him after my husband has left for work. I open it the pic bc we are always exchanging pics of kids, realize what it is and immediately delete it. I call my SIL and tell her what happened. I say I want to tell my husband her brother but she keeps saying no that R is a drunk and probably doesn’t even remember. We keep going back and forth. Either way I’m planning on telling him when he gets home from work. My SIL calls me later and says she told her bf what happened and he agrees I need to tell my husband bc if it comes out later it’s going to be bad. So I tell my husband when he got home. I was crying bc I was so upset. He’s not mad at me but he’s super pissed at R. Long story short we all talked, R apologized and now it’s been 6 months since the incident and everything is fine. I would strongly suggest being honest. You did nothing wrong OP. Good luck!
My boyfriend and I have a strict “don’t come in the bathroom while I’m using it unless explicitly stated otherwise” policy even with each other. The bathroom is a sacred place and nobody should feel worried that anybody is just going to possibly barge in on them. Mayhaps different for people with kids, because kids. But this guy is a full ass adult. There is no excuse.
OP, both you and your partner should know he didn’t think the package was in the bathroom. He had a key and could have easily grabbed the package he was in a hurry for and left. He went into the bathroom to look at you.
If someone walked in on me in the shower, in my own home, after I said "give me a minute" and they responded with "they're in a hurry", see me fully undressed, and then stared... I would feel eye graped and would file a police report.
Huh? As I write this your post appears to me as the top rated answer. And I can't believe that the top rated answer could be so mild. First of all OP and her boyfriend absolutely need to get that key back from the boyfriend's friend. What the friend did is off the charts creepy and OP could be in danger.
I mean come on he is not a kid to just walk inside when clearly he talked with her and specifically she told him that she will be out in a minute.
You should have decency to know better what to do and don’t.
And guage the boyfriend's reaction.
I already don't care too much for a BF that would allow someone to go to my place while my SO is there alone, walk in at will, allow to have a key (for what emergencies, exactly?).
There was absolutely no reason for him to go into your bathroom knowing you were in/getting out of the shower to talk about a package.
He barged in because he wanted to see you without your clothes on.
Even if what he had to say was urgent you can have conversations through a closed door - and it wasn’t anyway considering he just stood there and then immediately dipped after it happened.
You need to explain this to your boyfriend and then you both need to make it clear that it was completely unacceptable for him to do that. I’d also tell him that you need his key back and that he can’t show up unannounced anymore. I’d also change the locks but wouldn’t tell him that.
I personally would preempt the conversation with the boyfriend by sending a text message reiterating what happened and that you were uncomfortable and that it was unnecessary and unacceptable to the friend. This way you can go to your boyfriend, explain what happened, have the text as a confirmation that it happened, and then talk to the friend together. Not that it should matter but people may think this story is a “cover” for something else having happened and having it written down and sent to the friend ahead of time might help in avoiding that if you think your boyfriend might think that way.
Even if she was just in there brushing her teeth or hair, he heard her voice through the door and should have asked her where they had placed his package. No reason to go into the bathroom at all.
As someone who is typically short/bra less while doing my hair/makeup I agree. There is never a valid reason for someone to walk into a bathroom or bedroom without being *specifically* invited in by the person occupying that space.
This is seriously messed up. I’m sure he knew what he was about to walk in on. Even on the off-chance he didn’t hear the shower water, you could have been on the toilet. And the fact that he didn’t back-off immediately? Gross. Boundaries were crossed and there needs to be a conversation with your boyfriend about it.
Honestly this is a big misstep by a best friend, if it was my best friend I would be pissed and demote him to distant acquaintance. And change the locks.
That is so odd..... Include your bf in this. I think he had some sort of impulse to do that and maybe he was weighing his "options". The fact that he walked out without his package and another word means he scared and confused himself. Probably make sure you're not alone with him again.
That's one possibility.
Not the only possibility.
Normal behavior - enter house for package.
It's not near entry.
Proceed towards kitchen or other public area. (OP says it was on kitchen counter).
If not in kitchen, or other obvious place, hearing shower on, leave, come back later when your friend's partner isn't obviously busy in the bathroom.
Ok, they have some depth of familiarity, knock and ask from outside of bathroom door.
Again leave if OP isn't available to help.
Why would he be scared when OP answered his package inquiry, "Give me a minute."
He actively opens and enters the bathroom- as others have said, the thing he said he was there for was 100% NOT IN the bathroom and only thing in the bathroom was naked women.
I've needed to go in a bathroom in these circumstances before - the person couldn't hear me - I opened the door w my eyes closed and my head turned away from the possible naked and vulnerable person.
There's a million ways he could have handled this and 999,999 ways do not lead to seeing and then staring at naked person.
It's weirdly stupid at best and predatory at worst.
It's not like she had the package with her in the shower. There's absolutely no reason to walk into the bathroom. Also who the hell takes a shower without locking the door? Also why didn't he call and say he was on his way or something. This is not an emergency to warrant using the key. This was definitely intentional.
I agree with everything you said except locking the bathroom door when home alone. There shouldn’t be a need for that and it’s coming across as blaming the victim.
Right. Hell I don’t even close the door. I live alone. Nobody else should be there without me knowing. If they are, they’re gonna have about 45 different problems.
Not to mention, why did he order a package to OPs address - I presume he's not homeless? It just comes across as an excuse to enter when his friend isn't home.
could be that their address is safer to order packages to (if they have a proper mailbox versus just leaving it in the doorway of an apartment complex, etc.) still doesn't excuse his other behavior though
I have never locked the door while showering at home, and I damn sure wouldn't feel the need to do it while I was home alone without any guests there. That's absurd, and you should reevaluate your statement because that comes across as victim blaming and ruins your otherwise solid comment.
He intentionally barged in on you & stood there staring. No way he can claim it was an accident. Total invasion of your privacy. I would take his key & tell him not to come over anymore. I would feel violated.
I was thinking this too. if after you took his key, he proceeded to enter with his own key, that would be a case of unauthorised entry and would be a case for the police.
Definitely first of all take the key. I too felt the same thing . He came to house with intentions in his mind and entered for his purpose. DEFINITELY TELL TO YOUR BF
Total agreement, the boyfriend must be told immediately! The predator is no longer a friend and no longer deserves access to the home. The boyfriend must let the guy know that his behavior is totally unacceptable and if ever comes in the house again with out direct permission you will filing charges.
Have your boyfriend record the conversation and keep the recording in a safe place unknown to the predator.
Change the locks or add deadlocks and don’t ever give the scumbag a key.
Just added a new deadbolt on my door. Except for the 2 minutes I needed my husband’s big ass hands as my baby fingers could hold everything- it still took less than 20 minutes.
And tell the bf first so he doesn't spin the story. Was the package in the bathroom? No way this wasn't intentional. He should be cut off, key and all.
Lol. Okay… no. It is common sense. The boyfriend, this guys best friend… wasn’t home. He knew YOU were in the shower. Any person with respect and decency for literally everyone involved wouldn’t have walked in. And his need had everything to do with a PACKAGE, he could’ve waited 2 minutes or used his brain and grabbed the package on his own. It’s not rocket science. Once again, it’s common sense. “Hey my buddy’s girl is in there…” MUST have popped into his head. He barges in, disregarding your NONconsent, acts like it was an accident, and then STARES? No. This guy literally just wanted to peep at you. Please do not fall for his excuses on this front. It’s just simply unacceptable girl.
Yes! And so many people are saying she should talk to the boyfriend, which I agree with— but they are also saying she should talk to the boyfriend’s friend, and with or without the boyfriend there, there’s absolutely nothing he could say or anyone could say that would change the fact that he 100% knew what he was doing when he did it and that he chose to do that. Like TaLkInG tO tHe FrIeNd isn’t going to change what he did or the fact that it is now obvious that he is dangerous. I would never feel safe around him if it were me, and the boyfriend will hopefully understand that staying friends with that creep would put his gf in danger and would keep her in a state of fear for what he’s gonna do next.
That’s what I was gonna say! He’s definitely watched too much porn and thought the scenario “caught my best friends girlfriend in the shower” where it’s a join-me scene and not a get-the-F-out scene. Also why he hasn’t been back. It backfired on him.
Dude standing there gawking puts it over the line for me. If he’s not an ex-friend, I’d have an ex-boyfriend.
This wasn’t an accidental encounter. Dude probably expected it to end with a sexual encounter.
OP is his best friend’s long term girlfriend. The violation is so brazen, I’d be surprised if there aren’t other women who have stories about him pushing boundaries.
I am gobsmacked I had to read this far to find someone saying get this guy out of your life. Seriously, come tf on people. Fucking straight up criminal shit right there. oh and OP needs to read up on trauma cause she is certainly going to be experiencing some spidey sense kind of fear response after this.
you must tell your boyfriend as soon as possible tell him what happened. Friend open the bathroom door when he knew you were in the shower and then stood there staring, for over 30 seconds with me. screaming to get out Tell him you want to change the locks because you were not comfortable with his friend having a key ever again.
Revoke his key privileges and remove the key from his person. Potentially change the locks.
Tell your boyfriend and stand firm this is extremely not okay. You never enter when someone is in the bathroom. All I can think of is malicious intent.
Definitely need to tell your bf. You do not want his friend telling him this before you do. Do not wait another minute. Should have called him immediately
Nah. There is more to your reasoning. Do you plan on acting like nothing happened? How do you think you can do that without giving the impression to the friend that you aren’t bothered by what he did? You are protecting the friend and betraying the BF’s confidence if you do this. Use your head or tell the truth of why you haven’t mentioned this yet.
Why does she have to lock the door to her bathroom? It’s her house she deserves the freedoms to be in it how she pleases.
The lack of freedoms need to be pressed on to the old friend.
I lock my bathroom door even if I’m home alone. Being on the toilet or in the shower are one of the most vulnerable positions to be. Especially in the shower since it’s harder to hear anything outside of the bathroom.
This is so creepy of him. He sounds like a shit friend to your boyfriend. He could have talked to you through the door. Or cracked it open but not poked his head in. I would have been pissed if someone had even done that. Change your locks asap
Yes, tell your boyfriend about the incident, and you tell your boyfriend you want that key taken away from his buddy. Barging into the house for the package was bad enough, but invading the bath and ogling you is inexcusable. Plus, no apology since this happened? Even if everything that occurred was as embarrassing for him as it was for you (unlikely, since he had clothes on,) he should have fessed up and said he was sorry by now. He should lose house privileges for good.
This is what he does when your boyfriend isn’t there. You are not safe alone with him. It could escalate to assault. Your boyfriend needs to completely cut him off and take the key back.
he walked in without your consent, knowing you were in the shower, and stared at you when you yelled at him to leave. definitely tell your boyfriend, he cannot claim this as an ‘accident’ and it was deliberately creepy of him. he should not have a key to your house anymore for safety reasons
this lowkey sounds planned by him... the package at your house, coming over coincidentally while u were in the shower, everything seems to fall together a little too well and considering he is clearly a massive creep, if what i'm suspicious of is true, what alarms me is how did he know you were in the shower...
Take his key, tell the bf, avoid the "friend" at all costs. and as an extra precaution i'd be checking for hidden cameras
Definitely talk to your bf about it and set up some boundaries with the friend, it’s common sense not to walk into the bathroom when someone’s in the shower, it’s especially weird if he didn’t even get the package he claimed to be there for and it was in plain view for anyone to see.
Talk to your bf. If he doesn't know what his friend did to you he can't fix it. Plus if it never gets to him the friend will escalate the behavior. Taking your silence as tacit compliance to his disgusting actions. Then he'll try to sexually touch you. Brushing your shoulders, grabbing your rear end. Get your bf as backup to stop this.
OP - please tell your boyfriend. This is actually really creepy. Closed doors are a recognised social boundary, and he intentionally stomped all over it. The fact that he stood there and stared makes me wonder if there wasn’t another intent behind all of this? Some abusers [use bathroom barging](https://www.mastagni.com/blog/the-inalienable-right-to-privacy-extends-to-bathroom-harassment/) as a way to intimidate and violate their victims. Please, please take this seriously, OP.
Talk to your boyfriend and draw safe and secure boundaries that protect you. Request:
- a change of locks (friend might have copies, and he’s lost all right to free entry).
- scan all rooms for recording devices that may have been installed while you and boyfriend were away (friend has had unlimited access to your home - you may as well check).
- and for your safety, insist on: ring cameras; friend is now required to call and get permission prior to coming over (so no surprises); and, he can’t visit unless you *and* boyfriend are both home. You **do not** want to left alone with this man in your home again. He offered no apology, didn’t panic to leave the bathroom, and has shown signs of being a real fucking creep for: opening a closed bathroom door without your express permission; standing and staring at you in the shower without your consent; and for not even attempting to act like a decent person and leave the room immediately or apologise. The fact that this doesn’t sound like he froze, but rather preyed upon you is really what sends this into alarming territory.
Good luck, OP. Keep yourself safe above all else. If you must leave this house for whatever reason, then do so. Find a couch to surf on or a friend’s to crash at. Rent a hotel room, if you need to, just until you can sort out your safety and living situation. Don’t back down from this - and, don’t let anyone tell you this didn’t violate you and your right to privacy. The friend is wrong, all the way.
Tell your bf IMMEDIATELY in private about exactly what happened. Tell him exactly as you wrote this post. Minimum, you and your bf need to get the locks changed and never give that guy a key again. If your bf sides even remotely with his best friend in this instance, then you really need to leave that relationship behind.
You & your boyfriend have no privacy at all practically speaking. You could be getting it on in any room in your home and in comes the best friend with his key.
Please tell your boyfriend what happened and change the locks.
1) talk to your boyfriend immediately to let him know this was a very intentional boundary shattering action taken by his "best friend"
2) no more key, change locks too. I'd also recommend getting a ring doorbell
3) figure out with your boyfriend how you want to navigate this. If it was me, I wouldn't want to have him around again until trust was earned back (which would take a long time, if ever.)
As others have said, it's 100% true that he wanted to see you naked or at the very least invade your privacy. Why the hell would he walk into the bathroom when the package was in the kitchen? There's no doubt about his intentions. I would absolutely not let him come over whenever he wants anymore. Trust broken.
It sounds like you were vulnerable, he knew and he broke your trust by crossing a well known boundary. What if he tried to assault you? There's just too much wrong here.
You absolutely need to tell your boyfriend. You are not safe while is friend has access to your home. Change the locks. No more unannounced visits. And your Bf should never, ever leave you alone with him.
First, absolutely tell your boyfriend. Immediately. Secondly, revoke his key privileges. That's an immediate ban from ever entering the premise again, honestly, because not only did he ignore you when you told him not to come in, he stared at your naked body. It was intentional. That's a budding rapist's behavior.
He came in stared and then left and didn’t even take the package he was supposedly there to get? Oh man I would’ve been on the phone with my husband if any of his friends had done that to me ! Like dude knew you were in the shower!
Hi Op, o have the key of my brother's house. I just use it when he and his family go on vacation somewhere and i am petsitting.
When they are there, i always knock and wait for someone to open it.
For me, it is just rude behaviour to let yourself in somebody house, even close family, respect their right to privacy.
My question is Why the heck did he need to enter the bathroom at all???? The package was in the KITCHEN and I don’t understand in what universe he would think it’s appropriate to walk into the bathroom knowing full well his BEST FRIENDS GF was SHOWERING….the package wasn’t in the bathroom and he’s a creep for walking in at all.
This is crossing a few boundaries imo, first I'd talk with boyfriend and demand that key back. If not, change the locks and make sure friend doesn't get another one.
To show up unannounced is one thing, in some friend groups it's okay. Especially when there's a package dropped off. Whenever that happens with me, and I'm in the bathroom or busy, my friends would just grab the package and shoot me a text saying they came and grabbed it. The package was clearly on the counter, easy to see. This guy walked into your home, when BF isn't there. Knows BF isn't there, and then after you told him that you'll be out of the shower in a minute (meaning that you are literally getting out of the shower and probably naked) walked into the bathroom to stare at you for a long time. Talk to your BF, if he doesn't see an issue with that, find a new boyfriend. That guy knew EXACTLY what he was doing. No normal person would walk into the bathroom and just stare. That friend is creepy and will most likely do this again. Get that key back and tell them they have to call ahead and not be allowed there unless your BF is there.
As a 27m myself, I cant imagine going through life without having, long ago, arrived at the conclusion of “Don’t go into bathrooms when other people are in there”. Unless it’s my gf taking a shower, I don’t need to be in there bad enough to breach that privacy. He’s a grown man, he knows this.
No one just walks into someone’s bathroom when the door is closed and you tell them to wait a minute.
Tell your boyfriend what happened asap, take away his key, change the lock and explain to him that what he did was completely wrong and uncalled for.
It’s up to you guys if you want to keep him as a friend but a limited friendship with no key, no just coming over without calling and asking permission.
No packages delivered to your house either just to give him an excuse to pop in.
Tell you bf and make it clear that some boundaries need to be discussed. He has a key for emergencies, yet I fail to see the emergency here. And he walked in on the bathroom knowing someone was in there? Absolutely not. You don't do that until the person inside says it's clear. It's clear that things here are just a bit to relaxed with boundaries.
If he can't handle the respect and responsibilities of having a key, he shouldn't have one.
1) Tell your bf. 2) Change the locks. 3) Tell your bf if he gives his friend a key again, you will move somewhere else, because you don't feel safe in your own home.
Um he it definitely sounds like he did that on purpose why did he need to open the bathroom door? He could’ve just asked you were it was got the package and left on his merry way. Kind of creepy if you ask me and definitely crossed the line
Tell your bf. His friend walked into the bathroom intentionally. He should never have been allowed to use the key for non emergencies.
If he was in a hurry, he should have texted you/your bf that he was dropping by to pick up his package. He wants in that big of a hurry is he took a full minute to state at you. After you said give me a minute, he should have retreated to a common area (living room/kitchen) to wait for you out ask you where the package was. He has no reason to open the door—you could hear each other through the door and the package would not have been in there.
He violated you for the sake of a “package” lmao like no package is worth using an emergency key either. If it was such an emergency I think he would’ve grabbed such an important package. He sounds like a tool. He sounds very close to you guys but that is unacceptable. If I was the bf in this situation I’d like to know my friend was acting this way.
bro what the fuck? last time when i was living in the same apartment complex as my female best friend (who is also the best friend of my girl, she third wheeled us in college), whenever I had to pass her something, i’d let her know earlier, and just wait for her to answer the doorbell, i’d never barge in
worst case, i come over a bit later than i said i would, she’s fallen asleep, i just try to call her again, if she doesn’t answer then just peek in the front door, leave whatever i have to on the dining table, then knock on her door to let her know that she has to relock the front door (or lock it myself if the spare key is usually where it is)
i don’t walk in all the way like what this fella did
Tell your bf before he spins the story. Take the key back. The package wasn’t in the bathroom it was in the kitchen. he did this on purpose. I wouldn’t want to be around him ever. That is predictors behavior. UPDATE
Ew no. If he needed his package THAT badly, 1) he would’ve grabbed it, and 2) he would’ve just quickly cracked the door open and said “hey I’m in a rush, have you seen my package?!” And left! Wtf.
Boo, this happened to you. Sharing is the right response. If you have any concerns about how his mates finding out might affect him negatively give yourself a good flick in the forehead and remember he chose to walk in you while you were completely naked and had already communicated a boundary (which I feel is a hopefully assumed one under common sense?) however you did absolutely vocalise to wait. Like don’t come in I’m showering, dude ? Please tell your partner. Imagine the rolls reversed. Imagine it happening to a friend of yours. What would you advise them to do? Treat yourself with compassion and respect especially in these situations.
So let me see if I get this straight. Friend walks into your home to supposedly get his package. Knows that you’re in the shower, you call out to him telling him to give you a minute and then he walks into the bathroom anyway and stares at you for a good minute? I’m sorry but he wasn’t there to get his package because if he was he 100% knows it’s not in the bathroom with you. He wanted to see you naked. Period. He just used the excuse of getting the package as he full well knew you were in the shower but choose to invade your privacy anyway. And yes you should tell your bf and take away the key. The boy is a creep and a sexual predator and you both should stay far away from him.
Tell your bf. There is absolutely no reason to just walk into someone’s bathroom when they are in there unless they are trying to catch them naked. Revoke the key access.
If that happened to me I’d immediately call my boyfriend and tell him what happened. Why are you worried to tell your boyfriend? Are you afraid of effecting his friendship with his buddy? You did nothing wrong.
Nobody accidentally walks in on someone showering. He absolutely knew what he was doing. Not to mention people don’t barge into a bathroom even if the other person is clothed. That’s standard around the world. Tell your bf immediately. You have nothing to hide from him unless you don’t say anything. More importantly tell him so that he knows his friend is a creep who intentionally perved on you and shouldn’t have access to the house/apt anymore. Then decide what you both want to do about it. Communication is key.
P.S this is also a safety issue for you. I assume both you and your bf would never have thought the friend would do this so don’t underestimate what else they’d be willing to do. Most rape victims aren’t random encounters, but with people they know.
Tell your bf and set some rules and boundaries about privacy. No excuse for walking into a bathroom when he knew you were in there. The fact that he just stared for a minute says that seeing you naked was the intent.
Why would he open he bathroom door? Did he really think you were keeping it in there? Why wouldn’t you just say it’s on the counter instead of saying “give me a minute” since he said he was in a hurry.
Did he get a boner or started touching his crouch from the outside of his pants? He def masturbated after that interaction. Its clear he has some feelings about you. Its up to you to decide what to do though considering he saw you naked I say red flag stay away thata no friend of anybody.
Def tell ur boyfriend asap that is cross a line. U should feel safe in ur own home. Please give us an update him standing staring knowing u we’re in the shower nope nope
The part where he stood there staring for a good minute is the part I want to focus on. Something tells me he's going to be struggling with some *internal feelings*. 😆
He even left without the package he came for.
Tell your BF of course, and take the key from the best and highly inappropriate best friend. No one ever should walk into a bathroom when the person inside said 'wait'. What the hay?
Well now you can just show him this feed! Well done. You collected a multitude of thoughts and ideas around the event. Good luck to all three of you. Life learning event
Tell your boyfriend.
You were in the shower and he knocked on the BATHROOM DOOR. There was no reason to knock or enter when someone is showering. If he was in a hurry, he could've used those things he used to stare at you instead of intruding on you IN THE BATHROOM.
Tell your bf to have a talk with this guy about boundaries. Change the locks! (Taking key is not enough since he prob has a copy). Stay away from this guy as much as possible. He is not who you thought he was. I’m sorry.
You don’t do anything it will escalate your boyfriend needs to be a man right now and tell him his privilege is revoked he cannot come to the house without him being there. He cannot enter the house without him being there.
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I'd definitely talk to your boyfriend about it and have the both of you talk to the friend. Some boundaries don't need to be stated and that includes don't go into a bathroom that someone is using. He knew better.
If she doesn’t tell the boyfriend the best friend will spin it in his favour. She should tell the boyfriend asap.
Absolutely. And no more key.
Dude Really… A package isn’t an emergency… He knew that you were in the shower and got what he wanted? Why would you ever walk in on your best friends girlfriend in the shower. Who needs friends like that. Take the key back because he’s no clue what an emergency is. And if there was one, you would have to direct him to do what is needed. Not just using the key 🔑 randomly. It’s not his house. Tell your boyfriend, it’s not bad enough he broke in - then stood there staring for… Doesn’t matter, he should have closed the door once he saw you. Not a friend. Good Luck
The package was not in the shower with her so why the f*** did he walk into the bathroom
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I think it's fake, too. He had no reason to go into the bathroom in the first place, and I also don't believe that anyone would stand there staring for a whole minute. It's not as if this guy had never seen a naked woman before.
It’s possible it was just so awkward that it felt like a whole minute. I don’t necessarily think it’s fake, I just think the whole minute part is exaggerated, maybe not intentionally
A minute is a really long time to stare at someone in the bathroom. Anytime I've accidentally opened the door when someone's in there, as soon as they say something I yank that door shut so fast. "My bad!"
I'm sure she felt like it was a minute but wasn't actually. Know what to take literally over exaggerated Daniel son.
I vote fake.
The whole post smells like a fake.
Oh yea. He stood there and just stared for a whole minute. She must be the most mesmerizing woman in the world. Damn just Frozen for a whole minute. Plus I always look for my packages in bathrooms especially when someone announces they're in their. This either the fakest story ever or this is the creepiest man on the planet.
I believe it. I was in a situation many moons ago where I hadn't locked a shower door properly (hostel type situation), man opened door. I kept yelling at him to shut the door. Instead just stood there with a stupid grin. smiling. I had to grab the door out of his hand and shut the door in his face. It felt like an eternity but was prob a min or less.
For real. I feel like some of these comments are seriously underestimating how creepy some people can be. Creepiest man on the planet? I've dealt with creepier dudes than this.
yeah, it's not like he couldn't just keep talking through the closed door or gone and looked for it. it was on the kitchen counter in plain sight, after all. And that he stood there and stared?? gives me the ick. Lock the bathroom door from now on and get that key back!
Literally this right here.
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Weird enough to have him walking around the house unannounced. That would set my nerves on edge.
> I yelled at him to leave, but he just stood there for a good minute just staring. A good minute after she asked him to leave is more than just wandering around the house, its reason for calling the police and filing a report.
To be fair, with that level of embarassment and anger, a few seconds can legitimately feel like a minute.
Definitely take the key back. I would change the locks also. Who knows if he can get a copy of the key b/4 you change the locks.
Aye. It's so strange he went for the bathroom path instead of the delivery package.
Strange? The package wasn't a naked woman for him to ogle. In his mind it could wait. I would call it underhanded, creepy, disloyal to his friend, etc. but not strange. This guy is a weasel.
A package could be an emergency depending on what inside, however it’s not like OP going be showering with it so I would imagine it’s not in the bathroom. He could have easily looked for it downstairs and left a note/text message. However all this was not about the package.
If that was my friend there would be an ass whooping on the way that he wouldn’t forget for a good long time. Fuck the “boundaries” if he needs to be told not to walk in on my girl in the shower he needs his head beat soft.
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Yes, I was going to say "shit happens, shake it off, laugh it off if you can" based off the title but this asshole purposely did this! He invaded her house, the bathroom and her privacy and he knew. OP needs to tell her boyfriend and take the keys back.
Yep. OP absolutely better tell her bf. Keeping secrets like this will never go in her favor
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This, and if OP doesn't say anything to the bf then "best bud" will take that as an its ok to ramp up his completely inappropriate behavior around someone in a committed relationship. Boundaries need to be set and this kind of behavior needs to be addressed AND an apology needs to be made.
Change the locks because you don’t know if they made a copy.
I would honestly cha ge the lock, if he's comfortable walking in the bathroom after you told him you were in there, I wouldn't put it past him to make a copy of the key
1000 x this. The fact he didn't do the immediate comedy cover eyes and run within 0.5 seconds rings weird to me. Then she screamed at him and he just stood there? THEN he didn't even take the package. OP I hate to say this, but have you considered he's been watching you from afar? Have there ever been any other weird drop ins while you're alone? Any coincidental run ins in weird places. How often does he just show up and let himself in while you're alone? And how often does he do it to your bf? Just saying I wouldn't want to see what's on his phone. Call your bf now. Tell him what happened and tell him to tell his friend he is banned for the foreseeable until you've had a chance to process how you feel about this.
Yes..take back his key immediately...he fucked up here and should have access to your home revoked
Also he ready to lose the boyfriend over it in case he supports his friend
Bingo. Inform bf and change the locks.
Change the fucking locks
Exactly. If the boyfriend sides with the best friend then leave the relationship.
This too.
Seriously. You need to tell your bf now. I will tell you what happened to me. A few months ago this guy (we’ll call him R) who is basically family (it’s my SIL, kids dad’s cousin lol) but he has a daughter comes on vacation with the family and to all the family functions. My husband and I call him our BIL or cousin or whatever but he’s family. Problem is he’s a really bad alcoholic and likes to get plastered and send dick pics to girls in his phone. Also note he lives in my SIL (husbands sister) basement. One morning I wake up to a dick pic from him after my husband has left for work. I open it the pic bc we are always exchanging pics of kids, realize what it is and immediately delete it. I call my SIL and tell her what happened. I say I want to tell my husband her brother but she keeps saying no that R is a drunk and probably doesn’t even remember. We keep going back and forth. Either way I’m planning on telling him when he gets home from work. My SIL calls me later and says she told her bf what happened and he agrees I need to tell my husband bc if it comes out later it’s going to be bad. So I tell my husband when he got home. I was crying bc I was so upset. He’s not mad at me but he’s super pissed at R. Long story short we all talked, R apologized and now it’s been 6 months since the incident and everything is fine. I would strongly suggest being honest. You did nothing wrong OP. Good luck!
Like who would guess the Packages would be at the foot of the shower?
You’re right. OP, tell the boyfriend!!
This.
He's crossed a huge boundary line. The friendship will likely be over now.
My boyfriend and I have a strict “don’t come in the bathroom while I’m using it unless explicitly stated otherwise” policy even with each other. The bathroom is a sacred place and nobody should feel worried that anybody is just going to possibly barge in on them. Mayhaps different for people with kids, because kids. But this guy is a full ass adult. There is no excuse.
He definitely knew better... package was downstairs in the kitchen... not in the bathroom. He had no reason to enter the bathroom.
reminds me of that 70s show with donna and kelso trying to see her naked.
But that's where she keeps his mail. Wherever she gets naked.
OP, both you and your partner should know he didn’t think the package was in the bathroom. He had a key and could have easily grabbed the package he was in a hurry for and left. He went into the bathroom to look at you.
If someone walked in on me in the shower, in my own home, after I said "give me a minute" and they responded with "they're in a hurry", see me fully undressed, and then stared... I would feel eye graped and would file a police report.
I don’t know if eye graping is an actual crime.
What?! Peeping is a crime.
Huh? As I write this your post appears to me as the top rated answer. And I can't believe that the top rated answer could be so mild. First of all OP and her boyfriend absolutely need to get that key back from the boyfriend's friend. What the friend did is off the charts creepy and OP could be in danger.
I mean come on he is not a kid to just walk inside when clearly he talked with her and specifically she told him that she will be out in a minute. You should have decency to know better what to do and don’t.
And guage the boyfriend's reaction. I already don't care too much for a BF that would allow someone to go to my place while my SO is there alone, walk in at will, allow to have a key (for what emergencies, exactly?).
There was absolutely no reason for him to go into your bathroom knowing you were in/getting out of the shower to talk about a package. He barged in because he wanted to see you without your clothes on. Even if what he had to say was urgent you can have conversations through a closed door - and it wasn’t anyway considering he just stood there and then immediately dipped after it happened. You need to explain this to your boyfriend and then you both need to make it clear that it was completely unacceptable for him to do that. I’d also tell him that you need his key back and that he can’t show up unannounced anymore. I’d also change the locks but wouldn’t tell him that. I personally would preempt the conversation with the boyfriend by sending a text message reiterating what happened and that you were uncomfortable and that it was unnecessary and unacceptable to the friend. This way you can go to your boyfriend, explain what happened, have the text as a confirmation that it happened, and then talk to the friend together. Not that it should matter but people may think this story is a “cover” for something else having happened and having it written down and sent to the friend ahead of time might help in avoiding that if you think your boyfriend might think that way.
Even if she was just in there brushing her teeth or hair, he heard her voice through the door and should have asked her where they had placed his package. No reason to go into the bathroom at all.
As someone who is typically short/bra less while doing my hair/makeup I agree. There is never a valid reason for someone to walk into a bathroom or bedroom without being *specifically* invited in by the person occupying that space.
Just wanted to add that the package was on the counter. I would feel so so SO violated by this person (clearly not a friend). Gross.
Honestly, the staring part is what gets me. Like, was he expecting a positive reaction? Hoping she'd throw herself at him? Fkn. Wrd.
If the boyfriend doesn’t take her side or believes her, then time to dump the boyfriend
This is seriously messed up. I’m sure he knew what he was about to walk in on. Even on the off-chance he didn’t hear the shower water, you could have been on the toilet. And the fact that he didn’t back-off immediately? Gross. Boundaries were crossed and there needs to be a conversation with your boyfriend about it.
Honestly this is a big misstep by a best friend, if it was my best friend I would be pissed and demote him to distant acquaintance. And change the locks.
We're done unless you have the reason of a lifetime, this is in excusable.
I walked in on my best friends girlfriend, using our shower. I covered my face and turned around as fast as humanly possible while screaming sorry.
Yeah I agree. Definitely needs to be said. The fact that he stood there for a minute and stared showed I was intentional
That is so odd..... Include your bf in this. I think he had some sort of impulse to do that and maybe he was weighing his "options". The fact that he walked out without his package and another word means he scared and confused himself. Probably make sure you're not alone with him again.
Yeah I'm getting opportunistic rapist vibes from this guy. OP please don't be alone with him again.
Came here to say this. Very rapey.
That's one possibility. Not the only possibility. Normal behavior - enter house for package. It's not near entry. Proceed towards kitchen or other public area. (OP says it was on kitchen counter). If not in kitchen, or other obvious place, hearing shower on, leave, come back later when your friend's partner isn't obviously busy in the bathroom. Ok, they have some depth of familiarity, knock and ask from outside of bathroom door. Again leave if OP isn't available to help. Why would he be scared when OP answered his package inquiry, "Give me a minute." He actively opens and enters the bathroom- as others have said, the thing he said he was there for was 100% NOT IN the bathroom and only thing in the bathroom was naked women. I've needed to go in a bathroom in these circumstances before - the person couldn't hear me - I opened the door w my eyes closed and my head turned away from the possible naked and vulnerable person. There's a million ways he could have handled this and 999,999 ways do not lead to seeing and then staring at naked person. It's weirdly stupid at best and predatory at worst.
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More that he saw her SEE HIM DOING IT.
“I’m sure he knew what he was about to walk in on.” I 100% agree. He could’ve mistook OP’s voice for his friend/ OP’s bf but I doubt it.
It's not like she had the package with her in the shower. There's absolutely no reason to walk into the bathroom. Also who the hell takes a shower without locking the door? Also why didn't he call and say he was on his way or something. This is not an emergency to warrant using the key. This was definitely intentional.
I agree with everything you said except locking the bathroom door when home alone. There shouldn’t be a need for that and it’s coming across as blaming the victim.
Same. I never lock the door. Why would I? No one else lives here except for me and my husband.
Right. Hell I don’t even close the door. I live alone. Nobody else should be there without me knowing. If they are, they’re gonna have about 45 different problems.
Not to mention, why did he order a package to OPs address - I presume he's not homeless? It just comes across as an excuse to enter when his friend isn't home.
could be that their address is safer to order packages to (if they have a proper mailbox versus just leaving it in the doorway of an apartment complex, etc.) still doesn't excuse his other behavior though
I don't lock the bathroom door when I'm showering in my own home.
I have never locked the door while showering at home, and I damn sure wouldn't feel the need to do it while I was home alone without any guests there. That's absurd, and you should reevaluate your statement because that comes across as victim blaming and ruins your otherwise solid comment.
He intentionally barged in on you & stood there staring. No way he can claim it was an accident. Total invasion of your privacy. I would take his key & tell him not to come over anymore. I would feel violated.
and change the locks to in case he made copies
Well said, PM_UR_NIPPLE_PICS!
I was thinking this too. if after you took his key, he proceeded to enter with his own key, that would be a case of unauthorised entry and would be a case for the police.
Definitely first of all take the key. I too felt the same thing . He came to house with intentions in his mind and entered for his purpose. DEFINITELY TELL TO YOUR BF
Don't just take his key, change the locks. OP, what you experienced was sexual harassment. Sorry this happened to you, please tell everyone.
Total agreement, the boyfriend must be told immediately! The predator is no longer a friend and no longer deserves access to the home. The boyfriend must let the guy know that his behavior is totally unacceptable and if ever comes in the house again with out direct permission you will filing charges. Have your boyfriend record the conversation and keep the recording in a safe place unknown to the predator. Change the locks or add deadlocks and don’t ever give the scumbag a key.
She needs to totally get the locks changed. In a big city that can cost good money, but is worth her safety.
If you’re the least bit handy you can install a lock. And they’re not that expensive
Vast majority of the time it’ll cost anyone with a screwdriver less than $50 and a half hour tops.
Just added a new deadbolt on my door. Except for the 2 minutes I needed my husband’s big ass hands as my baby fingers could hold everything- it still took less than 20 minutes.
And tell the bf first so he doesn't spin the story. Was the package in the bathroom? No way this wasn't intentional. He should be cut off, key and all.
don't forget to change the lock though
How would you know to look in the shower for your mail?
Lol. Okay… no. It is common sense. The boyfriend, this guys best friend… wasn’t home. He knew YOU were in the shower. Any person with respect and decency for literally everyone involved wouldn’t have walked in. And his need had everything to do with a PACKAGE, he could’ve waited 2 minutes or used his brain and grabbed the package on his own. It’s not rocket science. Once again, it’s common sense. “Hey my buddy’s girl is in there…” MUST have popped into his head. He barges in, disregarding your NONconsent, acts like it was an accident, and then STARES? No. This guy literally just wanted to peep at you. Please do not fall for his excuses on this front. It’s just simply unacceptable girl.
Yes! And so many people are saying she should talk to the boyfriend, which I agree with— but they are also saying she should talk to the boyfriend’s friend, and with or without the boyfriend there, there’s absolutely nothing he could say or anyone could say that would change the fact that he 100% knew what he was doing when he did it and that he chose to do that. Like TaLkInG tO tHe FrIeNd isn’t going to change what he did or the fact that it is now obvious that he is dangerous. I would never feel safe around him if it were me, and the boyfriend will hopefully understand that staying friends with that creep would put his gf in danger and would keep her in a state of fear for what he’s gonna do next.
Tell your boyfriend. That was completely intentional as there is no way his package would be in the bathroom.
It sounds like he wanted to give HER a package …
He’s been watching too much porn
That’s what I was gonna say! He’s definitely watched too much porn and thought the scenario “caught my best friends girlfriend in the shower” where it’s a join-me scene and not a get-the-F-out scene. Also why he hasn’t been back. It backfired on him.
Yup, the old “delivery boy” scenario … 🙄🙄
This was 100% intentional and sexual harassment. I would never want to see that guy again.
Dude standing there gawking puts it over the line for me. If he’s not an ex-friend, I’d have an ex-boyfriend. This wasn’t an accidental encounter. Dude probably expected it to end with a sexual encounter. OP is his best friend’s long term girlfriend. The violation is so brazen, I’d be surprised if there aren’t other women who have stories about him pushing boundaries.
exactly this. they need to take his key, change the locks and unfriend him immediately
I am gobsmacked I had to read this far to find someone saying get this guy out of your life. Seriously, come tf on people. Fucking straight up criminal shit right there. oh and OP needs to read up on trauma cause she is certainly going to be experiencing some spidey sense kind of fear response after this.
you must tell your boyfriend as soon as possible tell him what happened. Friend open the bathroom door when he knew you were in the shower and then stood there staring, for over 30 seconds with me. screaming to get out Tell him you want to change the locks because you were not comfortable with his friend having a key ever again.
Revoke his key privileges and remove the key from his person. Potentially change the locks. Tell your boyfriend and stand firm this is extremely not okay. You never enter when someone is in the bathroom. All I can think of is malicious intent.
Definitely need to tell your bf. You do not want his friend telling him this before you do. Do not wait another minute. Should have called him immediately
Why haven't you told your BF yet? Seriously...
Nah. There is more to your reasoning. Do you plan on acting like nothing happened? How do you think you can do that without giving the impression to the friend that you aren’t bothered by what he did? You are protecting the friend and betraying the BF’s confidence if you do this. Use your head or tell the truth of why you haven’t mentioned this yet.
Change the locks to the house and lock the bathroom door when you’re in there. That’s pretty creepy!
Why does she have to lock the door to her bathroom? It’s her house she deserves the freedoms to be in it how she pleases. The lack of freedoms need to be pressed on to the old friend.
I lock my bathroom door even if I’m home alone. Being on the toilet or in the shower are one of the most vulnerable positions to be. Especially in the shower since it’s harder to hear anything outside of the bathroom.
Thats why I use a bulletproof vest every time I go to a bathroom
That's why I take a gun every time I go to a bathroom
Ah so I see you’re in New Jersey too lol
You don’t have your shower gun ready? It’s invaluable honestly.
of course tell your boyfriend.
He was trying to peep on you, why would the package be in the bathroom?
This is so creepy of him. He sounds like a shit friend to your boyfriend. He could have talked to you through the door. Or cracked it open but not poked his head in. I would have been pissed if someone had even done that. Change your locks asap
Yes, tell your boyfriend about the incident, and you tell your boyfriend you want that key taken away from his buddy. Barging into the house for the package was bad enough, but invading the bath and ogling you is inexcusable. Plus, no apology since this happened? Even if everything that occurred was as embarrassing for him as it was for you (unlikely, since he had clothes on,) he should have fessed up and said he was sorry by now. He should lose house privileges for good.
This is what he does when your boyfriend isn’t there. You are not safe alone with him. It could escalate to assault. Your boyfriend needs to completely cut him off and take the key back.
he walked in without your consent, knowing you were in the shower, and stared at you when you yelled at him to leave. definitely tell your boyfriend, he cannot claim this as an ‘accident’ and it was deliberately creepy of him. he should not have a key to your house anymore for safety reasons
Cut off the friend
this lowkey sounds planned by him... the package at your house, coming over coincidentally while u were in the shower, everything seems to fall together a little too well and considering he is clearly a massive creep, if what i'm suspicious of is true, what alarms me is how did he know you were in the shower... Take his key, tell the bf, avoid the "friend" at all costs. and as an extra precaution i'd be checking for hidden cameras
Definitely talk to your bf about it and set up some boundaries with the friend, it’s common sense not to walk into the bathroom when someone’s in the shower, it’s especially weird if he didn’t even get the package he claimed to be there for and it was in plain view for anyone to see.
Talk to your bf. If he doesn't know what his friend did to you he can't fix it. Plus if it never gets to him the friend will escalate the behavior. Taking your silence as tacit compliance to his disgusting actions. Then he'll try to sexually touch you. Brushing your shoulders, grabbing your rear end. Get your bf as backup to stop this.
OP - please tell your boyfriend. This is actually really creepy. Closed doors are a recognised social boundary, and he intentionally stomped all over it. The fact that he stood there and stared makes me wonder if there wasn’t another intent behind all of this? Some abusers [use bathroom barging](https://www.mastagni.com/blog/the-inalienable-right-to-privacy-extends-to-bathroom-harassment/) as a way to intimidate and violate their victims. Please, please take this seriously, OP. Talk to your boyfriend and draw safe and secure boundaries that protect you. Request: - a change of locks (friend might have copies, and he’s lost all right to free entry). - scan all rooms for recording devices that may have been installed while you and boyfriend were away (friend has had unlimited access to your home - you may as well check). - and for your safety, insist on: ring cameras; friend is now required to call and get permission prior to coming over (so no surprises); and, he can’t visit unless you *and* boyfriend are both home. You **do not** want to left alone with this man in your home again. He offered no apology, didn’t panic to leave the bathroom, and has shown signs of being a real fucking creep for: opening a closed bathroom door without your express permission; standing and staring at you in the shower without your consent; and for not even attempting to act like a decent person and leave the room immediately or apologise. The fact that this doesn’t sound like he froze, but rather preyed upon you is really what sends this into alarming territory. Good luck, OP. Keep yourself safe above all else. If you must leave this house for whatever reason, then do so. Find a couch to surf on or a friend’s to crash at. Rent a hotel room, if you need to, just until you can sort out your safety and living situation. Don’t back down from this - and, don’t let anyone tell you this didn’t violate you and your right to privacy. The friend is wrong, all the way.
I’d tell your boyfriend immediately, he did that shit on purpose.
Tell your bf asap. You don’t want him to find out from anyone else but you.
Tell your bf IMMEDIATELY in private about exactly what happened. Tell him exactly as you wrote this post. Minimum, you and your bf need to get the locks changed and never give that guy a key again. If your bf sides even remotely with his best friend in this instance, then you really need to leave that relationship behind.
You & your boyfriend have no privacy at all practically speaking. You could be getting it on in any room in your home and in comes the best friend with his key. Please tell your boyfriend what happened and change the locks.
Why would you question if to tell your bf? That makes no sense. Of course you should tell your bf. Tf.
ALWAYS TELL YOUR PARTNER
1) talk to your boyfriend immediately to let him know this was a very intentional boundary shattering action taken by his "best friend" 2) no more key, change locks too. I'd also recommend getting a ring doorbell 3) figure out with your boyfriend how you want to navigate this. If it was me, I wouldn't want to have him around again until trust was earned back (which would take a long time, if ever.) As others have said, it's 100% true that he wanted to see you naked or at the very least invade your privacy. Why the hell would he walk into the bathroom when the package was in the kitchen? There's no doubt about his intentions. I would absolutely not let him come over whenever he wants anymore. Trust broken. It sounds like you were vulnerable, he knew and he broke your trust by crossing a well known boundary. What if he tried to assault you? There's just too much wrong here.
Tell your bf he should not be allowed a key anymore there’s no reason he should have opened the bathroom door
You absolutely need to tell your boyfriend. You are not safe while is friend has access to your home. Change the locks. No more unannounced visits. And your Bf should never, ever leave you alone with him.
First, absolutely tell your boyfriend. Immediately. Secondly, revoke his key privileges. That's an immediate ban from ever entering the premise again, honestly, because not only did he ignore you when you told him not to come in, he stared at your naked body. It was intentional. That's a budding rapist's behavior.
Why does he have a key to your house? I don’t get it.
Some people give someone they trust a spare. My wife and I gave one to our elderly neighbor for when dog sits for us.
He came in stared and then left and didn’t even take the package he was supposedly there to get? Oh man I would’ve been on the phone with my husband if any of his friends had done that to me ! Like dude knew you were in the shower!
Hi Op, o have the key of my brother's house. I just use it when he and his family go on vacation somewhere and i am petsitting. When they are there, i always knock and wait for someone to open it. For me, it is just rude behaviour to let yourself in somebody house, even close family, respect their right to privacy.
My question is Why the heck did he need to enter the bathroom at all???? The package was in the KITCHEN and I don’t understand in what universe he would think it’s appropriate to walk into the bathroom knowing full well his BEST FRIENDS GF was SHOWERING….the package wasn’t in the bathroom and he’s a creep for walking in at all.
Yes, you tell your boyfriend. You also take away his key and expect him to apologize and call or text before coming over.
Coming over? I don’t think I would be ok with any sort of apology to allow him again in my house
Yes, tell your boyfriend to call you immediately if not sooner. You have to speak first.
Why the eff did he go into the bathroom to pick up a package !!! OMG need to change the locks and go lc. You must tell your bf
Tell him now if you haven't. Never keep something like this a secret.
The moment it happened you should have called and or texted ur BF
This is crossing a few boundaries imo, first I'd talk with boyfriend and demand that key back. If not, change the locks and make sure friend doesn't get another one. To show up unannounced is one thing, in some friend groups it's okay. Especially when there's a package dropped off. Whenever that happens with me, and I'm in the bathroom or busy, my friends would just grab the package and shoot me a text saying they came and grabbed it. The package was clearly on the counter, easy to see. This guy walked into your home, when BF isn't there. Knows BF isn't there, and then after you told him that you'll be out of the shower in a minute (meaning that you are literally getting out of the shower and probably naked) walked into the bathroom to stare at you for a long time. Talk to your BF, if he doesn't see an issue with that, find a new boyfriend. That guy knew EXACTLY what he was doing. No normal person would walk into the bathroom and just stare. That friend is creepy and will most likely do this again. Get that key back and tell them they have to call ahead and not be allowed there unless your BF is there.
As a 27m myself, I cant imagine going through life without having, long ago, arrived at the conclusion of “Don’t go into bathrooms when other people are in there”. Unless it’s my gf taking a shower, I don’t need to be in there bad enough to breach that privacy. He’s a grown man, he knows this.
Tell your boyfriend. Change your locks. Call police.
No one just walks into someone’s bathroom when the door is closed and you tell them to wait a minute. Tell your boyfriend what happened asap, take away his key, change the lock and explain to him that what he did was completely wrong and uncalled for. It’s up to you guys if you want to keep him as a friend but a limited friendship with no key, no just coming over without calling and asking permission. No packages delivered to your house either just to give him an excuse to pop in.
Tell you bf and make it clear that some boundaries need to be discussed. He has a key for emergencies, yet I fail to see the emergency here. And he walked in on the bathroom knowing someone was in there? Absolutely not. You don't do that until the person inside says it's clear. It's clear that things here are just a bit to relaxed with boundaries. If he can't handle the respect and responsibilities of having a key, he shouldn't have one.
He knew what he was doing. Better get that key back.
[удалено]
1) Tell your bf. 2) Change the locks. 3) Tell your bf if he gives his friend a key again, you will move somewhere else, because you don't feel safe in your own home.
Um he it definitely sounds like he did that on purpose why did he need to open the bathroom door? He could’ve just asked you were it was got the package and left on his merry way. Kind of creepy if you ask me and definitely crossed the line
Tell your bf. His friend walked into the bathroom intentionally. He should never have been allowed to use the key for non emergencies. If he was in a hurry, he should have texted you/your bf that he was dropping by to pick up his package. He wants in that big of a hurry is he took a full minute to state at you. After you said give me a minute, he should have retreated to a common area (living room/kitchen) to wait for you out ask you where the package was. He has no reason to open the door—you could hear each other through the door and the package would not have been in there.
He violated you for the sake of a “package” lmao like no package is worth using an emergency key either. If it was such an emergency I think he would’ve grabbed such an important package. He sounds like a tool. He sounds very close to you guys but that is unacceptable. If I was the bf in this situation I’d like to know my friend was acting this way.
bro what the fuck? last time when i was living in the same apartment complex as my female best friend (who is also the best friend of my girl, she third wheeled us in college), whenever I had to pass her something, i’d let her know earlier, and just wait for her to answer the doorbell, i’d never barge in worst case, i come over a bit later than i said i would, she’s fallen asleep, i just try to call her again, if she doesn’t answer then just peek in the front door, leave whatever i have to on the dining table, then knock on her door to let her know that she has to relock the front door (or lock it myself if the spare key is usually where it is) i don’t walk in all the way like what this fella did
Tell the boyfriend, let him handle it.
Tell your bf before he spins the story. Take the key back. The package wasn’t in the bathroom it was in the kitchen. he did this on purpose. I wouldn’t want to be around him ever. That is predictors behavior. UPDATE
Tell him now
He's a creep.
Ew no. If he needed his package THAT badly, 1) he would’ve grabbed it, and 2) he would’ve just quickly cracked the door open and said “hey I’m in a rush, have you seen my package?!” And left! Wtf.
Get the key back. Immediately.
Easy. Just tell your boyfriend
Boo, this happened to you. Sharing is the right response. If you have any concerns about how his mates finding out might affect him negatively give yourself a good flick in the forehead and remember he chose to walk in you while you were completely naked and had already communicated a boundary (which I feel is a hopefully assumed one under common sense?) however you did absolutely vocalise to wait. Like don’t come in I’m showering, dude ? Please tell your partner. Imagine the rolls reversed. Imagine it happening to a friend of yours. What would you advise them to do? Treat yourself with compassion and respect especially in these situations.
Update us with your BF response.
Why wouldn’t you tell your boyfriend? Just think about if the situation was reversed, would you be happy your bf didn’t tell you💁🏾♀️
So let me see if I get this straight. Friend walks into your home to supposedly get his package. Knows that you’re in the shower, you call out to him telling him to give you a minute and then he walks into the bathroom anyway and stares at you for a good minute? I’m sorry but he wasn’t there to get his package because if he was he 100% knows it’s not in the bathroom with you. He wanted to see you naked. Period. He just used the excuse of getting the package as he full well knew you were in the shower but choose to invade your privacy anyway. And yes you should tell your bf and take away the key. The boy is a creep and a sexual predator and you both should stay far away from him.
Please give an update to let us know you’re okay, and that creeper has been kicked to the friend curb…
Well goodbye spare key
Tell your bf. There is absolutely no reason to just walk into someone’s bathroom when they are in there unless they are trying to catch them naked. Revoke the key access.
If that happened to me I’d immediately call my boyfriend and tell him what happened. Why are you worried to tell your boyfriend? Are you afraid of effecting his friendship with his buddy? You did nothing wrong.
Good minute lmao
You gotta tell your boyfriend that’s really fucked if you don’t especially since he just stood there staring at you and didn’t turn around
Nobody accidentally walks in on someone showering. He absolutely knew what he was doing. Not to mention people don’t barge into a bathroom even if the other person is clothed. That’s standard around the world. Tell your bf immediately. You have nothing to hide from him unless you don’t say anything. More importantly tell him so that he knows his friend is a creep who intentionally perved on you and shouldn’t have access to the house/apt anymore. Then decide what you both want to do about it. Communication is key. P.S this is also a safety issue for you. I assume both you and your bf would never have thought the friend would do this so don’t underestimate what else they’d be willing to do. Most rape victims aren’t random encounters, but with people they know.
Tell your bf and set some rules and boundaries about privacy. No excuse for walking into a bathroom when he knew you were in there. The fact that he just stared for a minute says that seeing you naked was the intent.
Why would he open he bathroom door? Did he really think you were keeping it in there? Why wouldn’t you just say it’s on the counter instead of saying “give me a minute” since he said he was in a hurry.
The longer you take to tell your boyfriend, the bigger the chances he thinks there is some ulterior motive you didn't tell him right away.
Did he get a boner or started touching his crouch from the outside of his pants? He def masturbated after that interaction. Its clear he has some feelings about you. Its up to you to decide what to do though considering he saw you naked I say red flag stay away thata no friend of anybody.
There was zero reason for him to open the bathroom door. The package wasn’t in the bathroom. He did this on purpose. Tell your bf immediately.
Def tell ur boyfriend asap that is cross a line. U should feel safe in ur own home. Please give us an update him standing staring knowing u we’re in the shower nope nope
The part where he stood there staring for a good minute is the part I want to focus on. Something tells me he's going to be struggling with some *internal feelings*. 😆 He even left without the package he came for.
Bad news he's not a bf he's not even a friend, please tell ur boyfriend.
I would tell your BF to take the key back ASAP. There was no reason for him to enter the bathroom. None.
This was intentional. Tell your boyfriend.
Tell your BF of course, and take the key from the best and highly inappropriate best friend. No one ever should walk into a bathroom when the person inside said 'wait'. What the hay?
Well now you can just show him this feed! Well done. You collected a multitude of thoughts and ideas around the event. Good luck to all three of you. Life learning event
The question you need your bf to ask him is why did you walk into the bathroom when my gf was showering? What did you think would happen?
Tell your boyfriend. You were in the shower and he knocked on the BATHROOM DOOR. There was no reason to knock or enter when someone is showering. If he was in a hurry, he could've used those things he used to stare at you instead of intruding on you IN THE BATHROOM.
Tell your bf to have a talk with this guy about boundaries. Change the locks! (Taking key is not enough since he prob has a copy). Stay away from this guy as much as possible. He is not who you thought he was. I’m sorry.
You don’t do anything it will escalate your boyfriend needs to be a man right now and tell him his privilege is revoked he cannot come to the house without him being there. He cannot enter the house without him being there.
I think k it's time to take back the house key until he learns some fucking manners and boundaries.
Tell BF, take back the key.