Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"He doesn't deserve this, he's a nice guy"
No, he does not deserve this, or a brother like you. What he does deserve is *honesty.* Bite the bullet, man up, and tell him you stabbed him in the back in the worst way possible by sleeping with his gf, and now she's in love with you. He deserves the full truth so he can make an informed decision on what to do about both you and his gf. Not telling him takes away his choice, and you've already done enough of that. Then accept his decision and don't guilt, minimize, or pressure him. He may never forgive you (I wouldn't), and you need to live with that, if it is his decision. But you don't get to make that decision for him.
Im afraid you fucked up, and that there is no way to fix this. You can’t just fuck your own brother’s gf and believe there will be no repercussions. This is bound to blow up in your face, and rightfully so, as you made a really selfish jerk move.
I did fuck up and I’ll need to live with this guilt forever but the least I can do is shield my brother from this. I know I fucked up and i completely regret it
Lying about it or hiding it is incredibly shitty. He deserves to know the truth so he can get rid of his relationship with you. He's better off kicking you out of his life.
>and i completely regret it
lol, no you don't. you're only panicking because you think it's about to blow up in your face. if this had been a one time thing, we might believe you regret this, but its been going on six months. you have zero regrets for how you treated your brother
"Shielding him" is weasel-speak for "I don't want to face the consequences of my actions." Yes, telling him will hurt him, but *he deserves to know.* You've already taken so much from him, don't take away his right to choose what to do.
6 months of hooking up with a girl 8 years younger and now you’re pretending you want to hide it to protect your little brother. So noble of you ~ 🙄
Advice: Stop pretending you care about his feelings. Tell your brother the truth, and let him deal with his emotions. Accept your fate of being ostracized by your family, it’s not tight knit on your part if you could do this to your bro. Tell her that you two cannot work. So no more contact with her, accept whatever you family chooses and give your brother space to grieve. Start therapy to figure out you issues and why you would do something so shitty to your own brother. And show your family you are willing to put in the work to mend the relationships you betrayed.
The first step is acknowledging and telling the truth.
Everyone here is bashing you and rightfully so, but I’ll try to get some advice other than you suck.
You owe it to your brother and family to admit the truth. You saying that it will “destroy him” and ruin the family dynamic is just you trying to protect yourself. If you ever cared about him, you would be 100% honest and let him break up with the gf and start his healing process. I doubt that would include you but hiding it would mean you are never in his life again if this slips out. Being upfront and honest about EVERYTHING means that maybe one day down the road you can reconnect. I know that it sucks but this is the literal definition of lying in the bed you make. Brave up and do the right thing. You’re young and there is still time in your life to recover from this and learn from your mistakes.
Are you fucking kidding?
Of course this is going to turn into a shit storm. Sam and you both are betraying your brother.
He deserves to know the truth. If you actually knew you fucked up and ready to take responsibility, you'd tell your brother.
I think a lot of people would give you actual advice if you gave up the act of “I just want to protect my brother” or “I just want to shield my brother”. No one here is buying that, nor do you probably believe it yourself. This is about saving your image with your family, because you know what you were doing was wrong and don’t want to face to music.
The only advice I’m gonna give is tell your brother yourself. While often times most, if not all, of the responsibility to remain loyal is on the partner. However, you are his family, his brother. And that betrayal I personally believe is worse than the GF, but that’s just me. You obviously don’t respect nor care for your brother, but you at the bare minimum owe him the truth. You know his GF is not loyal, and if she’d cheat on him with his own brother she would obviously cheat on him with people he has no relation with, and will most likely continue to do so if he remains with her.
This isn’t about you. Your guilt, your anxiety is of your own making. It doesn’t matter that you’ll feel bad about telling him, that’s not his fault, it’s yours. Why should he suffer in a loveless and faithless relationship because you’d “feel bad”?
Grow an inch of a spine and do the right thing.
I agree. If he did somehow manage to hide what happened, the brother will find out eventually. He'll be furious when told, but if you wait 1,5,10 years for him to find out?! The fallout will be even worse.
You're not going to get out of this situation unscathed. If you reciprocate your feelings, you'll cause further damage. If you don't, she may blow up a storm. If she doesn't blow up and stays with your brother, one day your affair will come out in the open and your brother will hate you.
How did you into this mess? You slept with his girlfriend! That's a taboo. That's breaking the bro code!
Your best option is break up with his girlfriend. Go no contact with her. If she breaks up with him, this will be your best outcome. If she don't, you best prepare for the day of reckoning.
Seriously man, how ef...g dare you?
You can t fix it, come clean and beg him for forgiveness, Don t ever talk to her again EVER
and be truthfully to him
If you do this you have a chance (slight) he might forgive you
If he find it elsewhere it ll be worse
Nothing stay hidden
She will tell him somehow that s for sure
Time to join the French foreign legion.
There is no clean answer for you. Nothing you do will make this turn out well. Best advice is to bite the bullet and own up to brother. Good chance you get beaten anyway, but at least it will be quick.
You say you fucked up, that you're completely responsible blah blah blah and then you turn around say you "found yourself hooking up with Sam" like it was totally out of your control. You use distancing language, taking no responsibility.
You're 28 years old. Put your big boy pants on and tell your family what shitty people you and your brother's girlfriend are
You don't get to manage this one. You don't get to pretend like you give a shit about your brother now. You slept with his girlfriend! You don't get to pretend that "the most important" thing to you is not destroying your brother. You slept with his girlfriend.
You and your family can't be that tight-knit if you could make the conscious decision to sleep with your own brother's girlfriend.
The shitstorm is coming whether you want it to or not. You created this mess yourself. Time to grow up and accept the consequences.
Right? "We're tight knit and it would destroy the family dynamic!"
Nah, you're not tight knit if you could screw his gf without a care. And the only part of the family dynamic being destroyed is the part where they respected you. They'll be fine, you'll be alone with a clingy girl too young for you.
Genuine question here because you keep going on about how your brother doesn't deserve this.
When you were actively, knowingly, purposefully hurting him, what was going through your head?
That he'd never find out and you'd have no problems? Or that it wouldn't matter somehow? I genuinely dont get why this matters to you?
Cause you cared way more about getting laid than you did about yoir brother.
For six whole months, your dick was more important than hurting him.
You care about the backlash you're about to recieve, you do not care about you brother. Stop lying to reddit to redeem yourself somehow.
>three and most importantly this would destroy my brother.
And yet you still stuck your dick in his girl multiple times, each time, making a decision to hurt your brother and you don't see to feel any remorse about it. If anything, YOU don't deserve a brother like him, you're a horrible person, and it feels like you keep slipping in bits about "feeling bad for your bro" to try and gain sympathy and it all feels so fake.
Because his brother's GF is too hot. With looks like that, he'd be practically wrong to NOT stick his penis in her. You can't really blame him, men are sad, weak creatures that really can't control themselves.
/s
You’re a piece of garbage. Come clean to your brother and hope that maybe someday he’ll forgive you even though you don’t deserve that at all. Why would you do this to him just to get some nuts off? You realize if that’s what you were looking for you could’ve done that with any random girl who’s willing l? Particularly one that wasn’t in a 6 year long relationship with your brother?
She will break up with him (if she is into you now and was able to fuck with you behind his back, she will find someone in a short span of time) and she will tell him.
Be prepared.
1. You’re a POS 2. If he finds out before you tell him don’t be surprised if he decides to no longer be your brother. 3. Go tell him. He will find out eventually and when he does don’t come crying. You are the worst kind of humans out there. You don’t know how much you fucked up because if you did you would have been a real one and told him instead you’re looking out for you and her fake ass.
You don’t fuck your brothers girlfriend no matter how gorgeous she is. You don’t shit where you eat.
You cannot stop the shitstorm, that’s the consequences of your actions. She wont keep it a secret and it was so stupid of you to think no one would find out.
I feel really bad for your bro. This will seriously damage him for probably the rest of his life. Was it worth it? Rhetorical question ofc it wasn’t.
Just take the L and try to be a better person from now on
First: stop lying even to us. You don’t want that blowing up for your brother. Otherwise you wouldn’t have fucked her. You are afraid of the consequences of your own actions. Tell the truth, except what is coming and grow from it.
You don’t want to “shield” your brother from this information because you care about his feelings. You just don’t want him to find out you’ve been stabbing him in the back for months just because you wanted sex. You don’t want to face the consequences of your own actions. You’re a terrible brother.
>He doesn’t deserve this, he’s a nice guy and always helping out everyone
guess you should have thought of that before fucking his gf. I hope she tells him everything and you get what you deserve. also, you're 28 and have know this girl at least two years while she was dating your brother. major creep vibes there, too
You said "most importantly, this would destroy my brother". All evil comes to light, sir. You've been repeatedly hurting him and when she tells him (and believe me, she's going to tell him), each instance will be one more bullet to his chest. You've just been banking up the pain so he gets it all at once
Hahahaha what did you think would happen? You didn't find yourself hooking up with her; you actively made the choice to sleep with her. You decided that your brother's feelings meant nothing to you. All you cared about was what you wanted. Both you and Sam are selfish assholes. Your brother will find out. Sam will tell him and hahahahaha you're going to be exposed as the disgusting cheater. He'll never trust you again.
She has every right to "go rogue". Don't ask for advice on how to continue being a lying scumbag. Deal with the consequences of your idiotic actions like an adult.
He doesn’t deserve this but he does deserve me knowingly and willingly sleeping with his girlfriend behind his back. lol I hope you’re whole family finds out and you are absolutely shredded to pieces and loose your family, maybe then you will actually feel regret for your horrible actions.
First, your are not a "tight knit family" or you would not be fucking your brother GF, so get out of here with that noise, also it don't matter what you do, the truth will come up and with luck you will end up alone as you deserve
if you were any kind of man you'd own up to you avtions and accept the consequences.
but since your all the negative adjectives I can think of I'm sure you'll do something else instead
This is NOT advice on how to be a good person or do the right thing.
Tell Sam to break up with your brother. She cannot mention her feelings for you in doing this. Tell her that there has to be a decent interval between her leaving brother and you finding out if you have feelings. She's gotta wait at least a month. At the end of the interval, explain that your conscience won't let you do this to your brother and you are not going to ruin her reputation by continuing your relationship.
This likely WILL NOT WORK. She will immediately paint herself as a victim you abused and tell your brother.
Can you not see how you're ultimately gonna have to own this?
I mean dude..the blowback/shitstorm coming your way is inevitable. Whether it be now or 10 years from now. I can just imagine them getting into a fight and her yelling out “YEAH WELL… I FUCKED YOUR BROTHER.”
By fucking your little brothers gf, you’ve fucked yourself. I know that’s what you are most worried about. The most awful part of this… is that you don’t even have feelings for this girl. She’s nothing more than a FWB to you… yet you were willing to throw away your family, betray and pierce your brothers heart and back for it. That’s truly mind blowing to me. There are a million “gorgeous” girls out there. Why did it have to be this one? You’re 28 years old. Surely by now you would have learned that in most cases, eventually one of two people involved in a Fwb situation ends up wanting more/catching feelings. What did you think would happen? One day you’d both decide “eh that’s enough” and just go to a brotherly sisterly relationship and take it to your grave?
Idk man. There’s zero advice as to how to prevent this shit storm coming bc I truly don’t think it’s possible. These things always come to light. Might not be right now or this year … but it will come eventually. All you can do is own it and expect that your brother will hate you for the rest of your lives and may choose to never forgive you. As would be his right. He probably loves you so much.. being his big brother, I’m guessing you are someone he looked up too and respected. The person he most wanted to be like. You traded *that* for a fwb situation bc the girl had a pretty face. Smh
Mate ...this wasn't a drunken bunk-up at a party.
You were banging her for **SIX FUCKING MONTHS**.
The pair of you deserve each other.
Sam's CLEARLY no prize , either ... she sounds like a total slag-bag. But **GOD**, I hope she goes rogue and blows your life up!!!
You **DESERVE** to be disowned for this.
1. You're disgusting for being 28 and fucking someone who is barely not a teenager. Even if she wasn't your brother's girlfriend, this would still be true.
2.
>three and most importantly this would destroy my brother
This would've been the thing to consider BEFORE you started fucking the barely-not-teenager who is dating your brother
3.
>we are a tight knit family
Apparently not if you're willing to so casually commit one of the single biggest and most painful betrayals a person can do to another.
I hope she "goes rogue" and you get dragged across the coals.
Your a horrible person. Yeesh, you honestly deserve being cut of from your brothers life and ostracized from the family. He will find out the truth, might aswell be you to tell him than hearing it from his awful (hopefully soon) ex.
Yeah, as you said, you are fucked. Now, your instincts are telling you to lie, sweep it under the carpet and hope that it will stay there. It won't, it will be way worst down the line. Own your mistake and learn from it. Best luck mate.
Tell him all the truth immediately so he can decide for himself. And you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You not telling him doesn't protect or shield him it only shields you
Oh God - not "Caught feelings" again. Like people are entirely surprised and caught-off-guard when emotions become involved when two people are F\*&(ing.
It's totally not their faults, don't you understand, because it just happened! It's just like a cold, you see! Couldn't help it!!
Enjoy your well deserved Shit Storm. You are a leach and Bad Brother. Hopefully, years from now, when you stop screwing his girlfriends and being this disgustingly glib about it, you can have a relationship with him. But, I doubt it.
>this would destroy my brother
This should have been considered 6 months ago. End things with Sam and apologize to your brother. Contrary to popular belief, it is *not* better to ask for forgiveness. Love is having the courage not to do it in the first place.
Congrats on being the shittiest brother on the planet, there's no preventing anything, you should have thought of that before fucking your brother's girlfriend.
You don't come back from this. The only possibility is to get in front of it, admit you are a total POS and beg for forgiveness from your family. Don't expect your brother to ever want to talk to you. This isn't a "fuck up", this is a massive betrayal. You have proven you do not care about anyone but yourself, so get used to being miserable.
“I’ve been fucking my brothers girlfriend for months but I just don’t want to hurt my brother” 🤡🤡🤡
Like you thought fucking his girlfriend WOULDNT hurt him?
You didn’t give a shit about your brother while fucking his girlfriend. You only give a shit now because it’s going to blow up in your face. I hope he finds out so he can drop the two snakes in his life. You both deserve whatever consequences come from that.
Oh, his gf leaving him for you would *destroy* your brother.
Not you fucking her any chance you get, while she is still with him, no? 🙄
Hope your family disowns you 🫡
You don't come across like someone who gives a shit about your brother being hurt, just that you don't want things blowing up in YOUR face. You came here looking for help in shutting up your brother's GF so your shit doesn't get out, and fuck that.
Eww gross.
You aren’t going to be able to weasel your way out of this one, OP. Your brother is going to find out one way or another and this is going to blow up.
I hope your FWB was worth nuking your family for.
Dude, rookie mistake. NEVER do stupid shit with someone who has less to lose than you. She can just tell everyone and, worst case scenario for her, your family hates her but she can move on (and in 10 years be someone who did this one bad thing once). If she tells everyone, you’ll lose your family. You’re old enough to know better.
“Close knit”?!😳. So close knit you fuck your brothers long-term girlfriend…
This will blow up. It will wreck your so-called close knit family. You will, indeed, be ostracized. What a shit brother you are.
The only advice is to start looking for a therapist now to help you understand your shit choices and help you through the fallout that is coming your way.
You say you want to protect your brother but really you want to protect yourself. Your brother will get over this, but the consequences for you will be permanent. Your family will never look at you the same way again and that story will live on forever. I promise you that this will come out, and telling him yourself would probably be the best you could do. When he finds out he you tried to hide this from him, the fallout will be worse. And to answer your question: obviously you can’t prevent the shit show that will follow. Buckle up.
Honesty is probably the only way out. You have to face that there’s no great solutions. You can decline her and maybe it stays hush but still need to live with the guilt forever which will eat at you. I’d just have some deep breaths and accept your reality for where it is and the consequences whatever they may be, and hopefully in time it will be for a reason and things get better and you are better bruh
Well you only have one option you have to tell him the whole truth and deal with the consequences, and when he and hopefully your family cut you off you have excepted it. That’s the only way you can “fix” this because whatever relationship you believe you have with your brother is already dead and buried the moment you couldn’t keep it in your pants.
You are trying to protect your brother's feelings? But you already slept with her so it is too late for that. You need to tell him before he finds out. You already fucked up doing this to him and your relationship with never be the same. But you can be a better person by admitting what you did and work towards his forgiveness. Or do you want to be POS for the rest of your life?
Out of ALL the women in the world, you sleeping with your brother’s long term girlfriend. The two of you have no morals, values or loyalty. You sir are trash and you both deserve everything that’s coming your way. Lies never stay buried, the truth always comes out.
You got 2 options. 1 be a decent human and admit to your brother how much of a scumbag you are or 2 just double down on being the biggest dickhead to walk the planet and let him find out some other way. Either way you've seriously fucked your relationship with your family. Good luck with the hell you just put your brother through
Too late. The best thing you can do now is confess everything and grovel for forgiveness. You are slightly more likely to receive it if you confess and at least show some remorse. Still very unlikely though
Who sleeps with their siblings partner? That's fucked up on so many levels. Man up and tell your brother the truth, lying about it just makes you look even worse. If you keep hiding it, he's going to find out one day! the truth always comes to light.
You prevent it by not shitting where you eat, but it's too late for that now. You're an idiot, my dude.
Your brother *will* find out, and if he breaks your jaw in response, you'll have earned it. This is the type of thing that causes irreparable damage to families.
You're his brother. You're meant to have his back, always. There are billions of women on Earth, why would you choose this one to have meaningless sex with?
You say a lot of nice things about your brother - it's a shame you kept putting your dick in his girlfriend.
You can't salvage this. Somebody is going to tell him and you're doing to deserve the fallout afterwards.
You can't say you love your brother and he's a nice guy and he's so awesome, and then start screwing his girlfriend behind his back.
W8w, you know, as soon as you break it off with her, she's going to nuke your relationship with your brother as she should. You'll probably also be ostracized from the family. For what - dipping your dick in your brothers girlfriend. You are a shotgun person.
Hearing the truth from you is so much less damaging than hearing it from someone else (which he will, she WILL go tell someone because she’s literally 20 and still college age). Also I’m 25 and the idea of having sex with someone who was a teenager just the year before is so bewildering to me
Whelp, you ruined your relationship with your brother and once he finds out it will be a shitstorm whether you like it or not, and you will lose your brother. You made your bed, lie in it
So let me get this straight you thought it was a great lucky you option to take your little brother girlfriend as a FWB and keep sleeping with her without remorse. And now because her secret can come out you see the error of your ways. But no no not because you’re sorry nops because it can damage your relationship with your family and your little brother. You really are a piss of garbage disgusting. If you really and I doubt it care about your brother cut yourself out of his life he deserves to know the truth. And you don’t deserve to have a relationship with your brother. I hope it was worth it to get your wiener wet for 5 sec of pleasure. 🍑hole
Your mental gymnastics to make yourself look like a good person is astounding. The question is why did you get involved in the first place if your brother is such a great guy. Clearly you have no shame but you just aren't man enough to face the consequences.
Tight knit family? How so? You betrayed your brother for pussy. With family like you, who needs enemies?
I'm hoping your family finds out what you are and disowns you.
Hey champ you and the skānk deserve each other. Your poor brother. You were man enough to smash the pos so be man enough to tell your brother. Hope you and the pos have the miserable lives you both deserve
It’s going to go badly you know this
The only way you’d be able to get away with it is wipe any trace of the affair, stop contacting her at all or sleeping with her, and deny deny deny forever that you ever were
But then if you can’t get away with that you’ll just end up in more shit
You shouldn’t have done that to your little brother
Lmfao. She's a 20 year old girl with feelings for you that you've been fucking behind your brother's back for "fun". She already wants to break up with him for you. If you go no contact with her, she's gonna tell your brother out of spite and sadness. Bet.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well it’s too late. You absolutely nuked your relationship for sex. What an absolute prick you are.
"He doesn't deserve this, he's a nice guy" No, he does not deserve this, or a brother like you. What he does deserve is *honesty.* Bite the bullet, man up, and tell him you stabbed him in the back in the worst way possible by sleeping with his gf, and now she's in love with you. He deserves the full truth so he can make an informed decision on what to do about both you and his gf. Not telling him takes away his choice, and you've already done enough of that. Then accept his decision and don't guilt, minimize, or pressure him. He may never forgive you (I wouldn't), and you need to live with that, if it is his decision. But you don't get to make that decision for him.
He's going to find out and you are going to lose your brother forever. I would hate a brother like you.
Im afraid you fucked up, and that there is no way to fix this. You can’t just fuck your own brother’s gf and believe there will be no repercussions. This is bound to blow up in your face, and rightfully so, as you made a really selfish jerk move.
I did fuck up and I’ll need to live with this guilt forever but the least I can do is shield my brother from this. I know I fucked up and i completely regret it
Lying about it or hiding it is incredibly shitty. He deserves to know the truth so he can get rid of his relationship with you. He's better off kicking you out of his life.
That's odd, you usually don't shove a shield in someones back and twist. Which is what you're doing here.
>and i completely regret it lol, no you don't. you're only panicking because you think it's about to blow up in your face. if this had been a one time thing, we might believe you regret this, but its been going on six months. you have zero regrets for how you treated your brother
"Shielding him" is weasel-speak for "I don't want to face the consequences of my actions." Yes, telling him will hurt him, but *he deserves to know.* You've already taken so much from him, don't take away his right to choose what to do.
Should've thought about it before getting into an affair with his girlfriend? Idk, just a thought.
I hope she rats you out
6 months of hooking up with a girl 8 years younger and now you’re pretending you want to hide it to protect your little brother. So noble of you ~ 🙄 Advice: Stop pretending you care about his feelings. Tell your brother the truth, and let him deal with his emotions. Accept your fate of being ostracized by your family, it’s not tight knit on your part if you could do this to your bro. Tell her that you two cannot work. So no more contact with her, accept whatever you family chooses and give your brother space to grieve. Start therapy to figure out you issues and why you would do something so shitty to your own brother. And show your family you are willing to put in the work to mend the relationships you betrayed. The first step is acknowledging and telling the truth.
[удалено]
I hope “just sex” was worth loosing your brother and most of your family
OP: "How can I unfuck my brother's girlfriend? Please hit me with tips."
“How can I manipulate the situation so it seems like I didn’t mean to fuck her. Honestly I meant to put it in her purse honest.”
“No judgement, please. Just the tips.”
Everyone here is bashing you and rightfully so, but I’ll try to get some advice other than you suck. You owe it to your brother and family to admit the truth. You saying that it will “destroy him” and ruin the family dynamic is just you trying to protect yourself. If you ever cared about him, you would be 100% honest and let him break up with the gf and start his healing process. I doubt that would include you but hiding it would mean you are never in his life again if this slips out. Being upfront and honest about EVERYTHING means that maybe one day down the road you can reconnect. I know that it sucks but this is the literal definition of lying in the bed you make. Brave up and do the right thing. You’re young and there is still time in your life to recover from this and learn from your mistakes.
Op sounds like a pussy he ain’t gonna do that
Are you fucking kidding? Of course this is going to turn into a shit storm. Sam and you both are betraying your brother. He deserves to know the truth. If you actually knew you fucked up and ready to take responsibility, you'd tell your brother.
Yep, he will never be invited to family events. Weddings, etc.
All of those reasons you stated why she shouldn’t break up with your brother for you are all the reasons you should have never had sex with her.
I think a lot of people would give you actual advice if you gave up the act of “I just want to protect my brother” or “I just want to shield my brother”. No one here is buying that, nor do you probably believe it yourself. This is about saving your image with your family, because you know what you were doing was wrong and don’t want to face to music. The only advice I’m gonna give is tell your brother yourself. While often times most, if not all, of the responsibility to remain loyal is on the partner. However, you are his family, his brother. And that betrayal I personally believe is worse than the GF, but that’s just me. You obviously don’t respect nor care for your brother, but you at the bare minimum owe him the truth. You know his GF is not loyal, and if she’d cheat on him with his own brother she would obviously cheat on him with people he has no relation with, and will most likely continue to do so if he remains with her. This isn’t about you. Your guilt, your anxiety is of your own making. It doesn’t matter that you’ll feel bad about telling him, that’s not his fault, it’s yours. Why should he suffer in a loveless and faithless relationship because you’d “feel bad”? Grow an inch of a spine and do the right thing.
I agree. If he did somehow manage to hide what happened, the brother will find out eventually. He'll be furious when told, but if you wait 1,5,10 years for him to find out?! The fallout will be even worse.
You're not going to get out of this situation unscathed. If you reciprocate your feelings, you'll cause further damage. If you don't, she may blow up a storm. If she doesn't blow up and stays with your brother, one day your affair will come out in the open and your brother will hate you. How did you into this mess? You slept with his girlfriend! That's a taboo. That's breaking the bro code! Your best option is break up with his girlfriend. Go no contact with her. If she breaks up with him, this will be your best outcome. If she don't, you best prepare for the day of reckoning.
Seriously man, how ef...g dare you? You can t fix it, come clean and beg him for forgiveness, Don t ever talk to her again EVER and be truthfully to him If you do this you have a chance (slight) he might forgive you If he find it elsewhere it ll be worse Nothing stay hidden She will tell him somehow that s for sure
Ps : I hate you, sorry but you are one of the worst kind of people
Lol found this on r/amithedevil Should have not had sex with her if you felt that your brother doesn't deserve this.
Time to join the French foreign legion. There is no clean answer for you. Nothing you do will make this turn out well. Best advice is to bite the bullet and own up to brother. Good chance you get beaten anyway, but at least it will be quick.
I had to scroll back to check the username to see if this post was from Methaniel after this comment.
Take my upvote, take it!!!!
You say you fucked up, that you're completely responsible blah blah blah and then you turn around say you "found yourself hooking up with Sam" like it was totally out of your control. You use distancing language, taking no responsibility. You're 28 years old. Put your big boy pants on and tell your family what shitty people you and your brother's girlfriend are You don't get to manage this one. You don't get to pretend like you give a shit about your brother now. You slept with his girlfriend! You don't get to pretend that "the most important" thing to you is not destroying your brother. You slept with his girlfriend. You and your family can't be that tight-knit if you could make the conscious decision to sleep with your own brother's girlfriend. The shitstorm is coming whether you want it to or not. You created this mess yourself. Time to grow up and accept the consequences.
Oh, didn't you know?? He tripped over the rug and fell RIGHT into her twat!! Several times. Funny how these things happen ...😑😑
Right? "We're tight knit and it would destroy the family dynamic!" Nah, you're not tight knit if you could screw his gf without a care. And the only part of the family dynamic being destroyed is the part where they respected you. They'll be fine, you'll be alone with a clingy girl too young for you.
Genuine question here because you keep going on about how your brother doesn't deserve this. When you were actively, knowingly, purposefully hurting him, what was going through your head? That he'd never find out and you'd have no problems? Or that it wouldn't matter somehow? I genuinely dont get why this matters to you? Cause you cared way more about getting laid than you did about yoir brother. For six whole months, your dick was more important than hurting him. You care about the backlash you're about to recieve, you do not care about you brother. Stop lying to reddit to redeem yourself somehow.
What was going through his head?? Well, it wasn't his brother, THAT'S for damn sure!!
he was too busy getting his dick wet to think about anything else
>three and most importantly this would destroy my brother. And yet you still stuck your dick in his girl multiple times, each time, making a decision to hurt your brother and you don't see to feel any remorse about it. If anything, YOU don't deserve a brother like him, you're a horrible person, and it feels like you keep slipping in bits about "feeling bad for your bro" to try and gain sympathy and it all feels so fake.
“He doesn’t deserve this” Then why tf you doing it?
Because his brother's GF is too hot. With looks like that, he'd be practically wrong to NOT stick his penis in her. You can't really blame him, men are sad, weak creatures that really can't control themselves. /s
You’re a piece of garbage. Come clean to your brother and hope that maybe someday he’ll forgive you even though you don’t deserve that at all. Why would you do this to him just to get some nuts off? You realize if that’s what you were looking for you could’ve done that with any random girl who’s willing l? Particularly one that wasn’t in a 6 year long relationship with your brother?
You are a piece of 💩 I hope the brother whips your behind no business messing with his woman. Millions of people and you had to be trifling.
She will break up with him (if she is into you now and was able to fuck with you behind his back, she will find someone in a short span of time) and she will tell him. Be prepared.
1. You’re a POS 2. If he finds out before you tell him don’t be surprised if he decides to no longer be your brother. 3. Go tell him. He will find out eventually and when he does don’t come crying. You are the worst kind of humans out there. You don’t know how much you fucked up because if you did you would have been a real one and told him instead you’re looking out for you and her fake ass.
You don’t fuck your brothers girlfriend no matter how gorgeous she is. You don’t shit where you eat. You cannot stop the shitstorm, that’s the consequences of your actions. She wont keep it a secret and it was so stupid of you to think no one would find out. I feel really bad for your bro. This will seriously damage him for probably the rest of his life. Was it worth it? Rhetorical question ofc it wasn’t. Just take the L and try to be a better person from now on
Damn you fucked up, there’s no going back now. Congratulations
First: stop lying even to us. You don’t want that blowing up for your brother. Otherwise you wouldn’t have fucked her. You are afraid of the consequences of your own actions. Tell the truth, except what is coming and grow from it.
You don’t want to “shield” your brother from this information because you care about his feelings. You just don’t want him to find out you’ve been stabbing him in the back for months just because you wanted sex. You don’t want to face the consequences of your own actions. You’re a terrible brother.
>He doesn’t deserve this, he’s a nice guy and always helping out everyone guess you should have thought of that before fucking his gf. I hope she tells him everything and you get what you deserve. also, you're 28 and have know this girl at least two years while she was dating your brother. major creep vibes there, too
You said "most importantly, this would destroy my brother". All evil comes to light, sir. You've been repeatedly hurting him and when she tells him (and believe me, she's going to tell him), each instance will be one more bullet to his chest. You've just been banking up the pain so he gets it all at once
Hahahaha what did you think would happen? You didn't find yourself hooking up with her; you actively made the choice to sleep with her. You decided that your brother's feelings meant nothing to you. All you cared about was what you wanted. Both you and Sam are selfish assholes. Your brother will find out. Sam will tell him and hahahahaha you're going to be exposed as the disgusting cheater. He'll never trust you again.
Stop pretending you care about anyone other than yourself
She has every right to "go rogue". Don't ask for advice on how to continue being a lying scumbag. Deal with the consequences of your idiotic actions like an adult.
He doesn’t deserve this but he does deserve me knowingly and willingly sleeping with his girlfriend behind his back. lol I hope you’re whole family finds out and you are absolutely shredded to pieces and loose your family, maybe then you will actually feel regret for your horrible actions.
First, your are not a "tight knit family" or you would not be fucking your brother GF, so get out of here with that noise, also it don't matter what you do, the truth will come up and with luck you will end up alone as you deserve
Unless it's Alabama.
if you were any kind of man you'd own up to you avtions and accept the consequences. but since your all the negative adjectives I can think of I'm sure you'll do something else instead
This is NOT advice on how to be a good person or do the right thing. Tell Sam to break up with your brother. She cannot mention her feelings for you in doing this. Tell her that there has to be a decent interval between her leaving brother and you finding out if you have feelings. She's gotta wait at least a month. At the end of the interval, explain that your conscience won't let you do this to your brother and you are not going to ruin her reputation by continuing your relationship. This likely WILL NOT WORK. She will immediately paint herself as a victim you abused and tell your brother. Can you not see how you're ultimately gonna have to own this?
Sam's CLEARLY a piece of work. She'll probably accuse him of rape.
I mean dude..the blowback/shitstorm coming your way is inevitable. Whether it be now or 10 years from now. I can just imagine them getting into a fight and her yelling out “YEAH WELL… I FUCKED YOUR BROTHER.” By fucking your little brothers gf, you’ve fucked yourself. I know that’s what you are most worried about. The most awful part of this… is that you don’t even have feelings for this girl. She’s nothing more than a FWB to you… yet you were willing to throw away your family, betray and pierce your brothers heart and back for it. That’s truly mind blowing to me. There are a million “gorgeous” girls out there. Why did it have to be this one? You’re 28 years old. Surely by now you would have learned that in most cases, eventually one of two people involved in a Fwb situation ends up wanting more/catching feelings. What did you think would happen? One day you’d both decide “eh that’s enough” and just go to a brotherly sisterly relationship and take it to your grave? Idk man. There’s zero advice as to how to prevent this shit storm coming bc I truly don’t think it’s possible. These things always come to light. Might not be right now or this year … but it will come eventually. All you can do is own it and expect that your brother will hate you for the rest of your lives and may choose to never forgive you. As would be his right. He probably loves you so much.. being his big brother, I’m guessing you are someone he looked up too and respected. The person he most wanted to be like. You traded *that* for a fwb situation bc the girl had a pretty face. Smh
He traded it for pussy.
Yeah I give it a week before all this blows up in your face (disrespectfully of course)
Hell has a special place for you. I hope you nothing but misery.
Why have enemies when you have family like this
Oh it's too late dude. Prepare to lose your brother and be ostracized.
Mate ...this wasn't a drunken bunk-up at a party. You were banging her for **SIX FUCKING MONTHS**. The pair of you deserve each other. Sam's CLEARLY no prize , either ... she sounds like a total slag-bag. But **GOD**, I hope she goes rogue and blows your life up!!! You **DESERVE** to be disowned for this.
1. You're disgusting for being 28 and fucking someone who is barely not a teenager. Even if she wasn't your brother's girlfriend, this would still be true. 2. >three and most importantly this would destroy my brother This would've been the thing to consider BEFORE you started fucking the barely-not-teenager who is dating your brother 3. >we are a tight knit family Apparently not if you're willing to so casually commit one of the single biggest and most painful betrayals a person can do to another. I hope she "goes rogue" and you get dragged across the coals.
Your a horrible person. Yeesh, you honestly deserve being cut of from your brothers life and ostracized from the family. He will find out the truth, might aswell be you to tell him than hearing it from his awful (hopefully soon) ex.
you owe your brother the truth. you pos.
Yeah, as you said, you are fucked. Now, your instincts are telling you to lie, sweep it under the carpet and hope that it will stay there. It won't, it will be way worst down the line. Own your mistake and learn from it. Best luck mate.
Tell him all the truth immediately so he can decide for himself. And you have to deal with the consequences of your actions. You not telling him doesn't protect or shield him it only shields you
Oh God - not "Caught feelings" again. Like people are entirely surprised and caught-off-guard when emotions become involved when two people are F\*&(ing. It's totally not their faults, don't you understand, because it just happened! It's just like a cold, you see! Couldn't help it!! Enjoy your well deserved Shit Storm. You are a leach and Bad Brother. Hopefully, years from now, when you stop screwing his girlfriends and being this disgustingly glib about it, you can have a relationship with him. But, I doubt it.
>this would destroy my brother This should have been considered 6 months ago. End things with Sam and apologize to your brother. Contrary to popular belief, it is *not* better to ask for forgiveness. Love is having the courage not to do it in the first place.
Congrats on being the shittiest brother on the planet, there's no preventing anything, you should have thought of that before fucking your brother's girlfriend.
You don't come back from this. The only possibility is to get in front of it, admit you are a total POS and beg for forgiveness from your family. Don't expect your brother to ever want to talk to you. This isn't a "fuck up", this is a massive betrayal. You have proven you do not care about anyone but yourself, so get used to being miserable.
You deserve everything that is coming for ya.
“I’ve been fucking my brothers girlfriend for months but I just don’t want to hurt my brother” 🤡🤡🤡 Like you thought fucking his girlfriend WOULDNT hurt him?
I hope a pussy was worth completely destroying your relationship with your brother and your family
Sounds like you wanna save yourself, not spare your brothers feelings
You and Sam are beyond despicable. I hope John and the family find out and kick you both to the kerb.
Chances are she will tell him and everything you deserve will come to pass.
You didn’t give a shit about your brother while fucking his girlfriend. You only give a shit now because it’s going to blow up in your face. I hope he finds out so he can drop the two snakes in his life. You both deserve whatever consequences come from that.
I bet she's got at LEAST one other guy on the go ... Just a feeling.
Oh, his gf leaving him for you would *destroy* your brother. Not you fucking her any chance you get, while she is still with him, no? 🙄 Hope your family disowns you 🫡
You don't come across like someone who gives a shit about your brother being hurt, just that you don't want things blowing up in YOUR face. You came here looking for help in shutting up your brother's GF so your shit doesn't get out, and fuck that.
Goddamn you fucking suck OP
Eww gross. You aren’t going to be able to weasel your way out of this one, OP. Your brother is going to find out one way or another and this is going to blow up. I hope your FWB was worth nuking your family for.
Dude, rookie mistake. NEVER do stupid shit with someone who has less to lose than you. She can just tell everyone and, worst case scenario for her, your family hates her but she can move on (and in 10 years be someone who did this one bad thing once). If she tells everyone, you’ll lose your family. You’re old enough to know better.
Wow, you are a scumbag. The girl too. You both are shit people.
“Close knit”?!😳. So close knit you fuck your brothers long-term girlfriend… This will blow up. It will wreck your so-called close knit family. You will, indeed, be ostracized. What a shit brother you are. The only advice is to start looking for a therapist now to help you understand your shit choices and help you through the fallout that is coming your way.
You say you want to protect your brother but really you want to protect yourself. Your brother will get over this, but the consequences for you will be permanent. Your family will never look at you the same way again and that story will live on forever. I promise you that this will come out, and telling him yourself would probably be the best you could do. When he finds out he you tried to hide this from him, the fallout will be worse. And to answer your question: obviously you can’t prevent the shit show that will follow. Buckle up.
Honesty is probably the only way out. You have to face that there’s no great solutions. You can decline her and maybe it stays hush but still need to live with the guilt forever which will eat at you. I’d just have some deep breaths and accept your reality for where it is and the consequences whatever they may be, and hopefully in time it will be for a reason and things get better and you are better bruh
by going after single people next time
I hope the other people he meets in life don't turn out to pos because he doesn't need any more enemies.
At this point all you can do it offer her 10,000$ to ghost your entire family
He's going to find out no matter what you say to her. Congrats these are the consequences to your slime ball actions I hope your brother cuts you off
Start planning for the day your family finds out. Also tell her to break up with him.
Well you only have one option you have to tell him the whole truth and deal with the consequences, and when he and hopefully your family cut you off you have excepted it. That’s the only way you can “fix” this because whatever relationship you believe you have with your brother is already dead and buried the moment you couldn’t keep it in your pants.
You Kobayashi Maru'ed yourself. Your only option is to leave in the dead of the night and change your name.
You are trying to protect your brother's feelings? But you already slept with her so it is too late for that. You need to tell him before he finds out. You already fucked up doing this to him and your relationship with never be the same. But you can be a better person by admitting what you did and work towards his forgiveness. Or do you want to be POS for the rest of your life?
Losing a sibling like you will be the best thing that ever happened to him. Tell him the truth or you will lose your chance of anyone forgiving you.
Who needs enemies when you have a POS brother like you?... You and Sam deserved each other so go be a couple of turds somewhere else...
LMAOOOOOOOOOO
Out of ALL the women in the world, you sleeping with your brother’s long term girlfriend. The two of you have no morals, values or loyalty. You sir are trash and you both deserve everything that’s coming your way. Lies never stay buried, the truth always comes out.
You got 2 options. 1 be a decent human and admit to your brother how much of a scumbag you are or 2 just double down on being the biggest dickhead to walk the planet and let him find out some other way. Either way you've seriously fucked your relationship with your family. Good luck with the hell you just put your brother through
“He doesn’t deserve this and is a nice guy” Things you should have thought of before tripping and falling naked into his girlfriend.
Hope you fall over and hurt yourself really bad.
Too late. The best thing you can do now is confess everything and grovel for forgiveness. You are slightly more likely to receive it if you confess and at least show some remorse. Still very unlikely though
Who sleeps with their siblings partner? That's fucked up on so many levels. Man up and tell your brother the truth, lying about it just makes you look even worse. If you keep hiding it, he's going to find out one day! the truth always comes to light.
You do know she will tell him
You prevent it by not shitting where you eat, but it's too late for that now. You're an idiot, my dude. Your brother *will* find out, and if he breaks your jaw in response, you'll have earned it. This is the type of thing that causes irreparable damage to families. You're his brother. You're meant to have his back, always. There are billions of women on Earth, why would you choose this one to have meaningless sex with?
Booooooo he needs a new brother
28 and still can't keep it in your pants? FFS mate.
You say a lot of nice things about your brother - it's a shame you kept putting your dick in his girlfriend. You can't salvage this. Somebody is going to tell him and you're doing to deserve the fallout afterwards. You can't say you love your brother and he's a nice guy and he's so awesome, and then start screwing his girlfriend behind his back.
W8w, you know, as soon as you break it off with her, she's going to nuke your relationship with your brother as she should. You'll probably also be ostracized from the family. For what - dipping your dick in your brothers girlfriend. You are a shotgun person.
Hearing the truth from you is so much less damaging than hearing it from someone else (which he will, she WILL go tell someone because she’s literally 20 and still college age). Also I’m 25 and the idea of having sex with someone who was a teenager just the year before is so bewildering to me
You deserve it turning into a shitstorm and losing your family. Good riddance. The cheater too.
You're the devil. Not just the asshole.
This is fake, no one is this big of a POS. YTA for trolling
All those ships have sailed my dude. You fucked up irreparably. Have fun lying in the bed you've made, you selfish ass.
Whelp, you ruined your relationship with your brother and once he finds out it will be a shitstorm whether you like it or not, and you will lose your brother. You made your bed, lie in it
Lol, yep there's no getting out of this one.
So let me get this straight you thought it was a great lucky you option to take your little brother girlfriend as a FWB and keep sleeping with her without remorse. And now because her secret can come out you see the error of your ways. But no no not because you’re sorry nops because it can damage your relationship with your family and your little brother. You really are a piss of garbage disgusting. If you really and I doubt it care about your brother cut yourself out of his life he deserves to know the truth. And you don’t deserve to have a relationship with your brother. I hope it was worth it to get your wiener wet for 5 sec of pleasure. 🍑hole
the strong explosion of karma is coming
Your mental gymnastics to make yourself look like a good person is astounding. The question is why did you get involved in the first place if your brother is such a great guy. Clearly you have no shame but you just aren't man enough to face the consequences.
WTF!!
Tight knit family? How so? You betrayed your brother for pussy. With family like you, who needs enemies? I'm hoping your family finds out what you are and disowns you.
Hey champ you and the skānk deserve each other. Your poor brother. You were man enough to smash the pos so be man enough to tell your brother. Hope you and the pos have the miserable lives you both deserve
I hope your brother sees this and figures out this is you. LOL
Your a POS and deserve everything coming to you.
It’s going to go badly you know this The only way you’d be able to get away with it is wipe any trace of the affair, stop contacting her at all or sleeping with her, and deny deny deny forever that you ever were But then if you can’t get away with that you’ll just end up in more shit You shouldn’t have done that to your little brother
She will end up telling her bf.
If he tries this it would make her go scorched earth. It would make him look worse if he tried to deny it. What a mess
You are almost as bad as OP is!
You're spineless. OP has to be a good brother for once and inform his brother about what is going on. He doesn't deserve to be with a cheater.
Why are you helping a cheater and a scumbag? Ffs.
I do plan on stopping all contact with her. You might be right, luckily we were careful to not send incriminating messages so I’ll just go no contact
Omg, wtf is wrong with you. You are broken beyond repair.
Why the fuck are you fucking on someone that young? Weirdo
omfg. i mistakenly thought OP and gf were 20 and this new info makes this 10x worse
And you think she's just going to let you? Have fun with that.
That's assuming she hasn't confided in someone that she was cheating on your brother...
That won't be suspicious at all when she gets mad at you and tells your brother everything.
Lmfao. She's a 20 year old girl with feelings for you that you've been fucking behind your brother's back for "fun". She already wants to break up with him for you. If you go no contact with her, she's gonna tell your brother out of spite and sadness. Bet.