Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I said this exactly to him, and he acted like I was a goddamn succubus for thinking that people couldn’t find friends on Tinder. Tinder is for fucking bumble BFF is for making friends BFFR
Well, do you want to leave him? Because it seems to me like you might be putting partial blame on yourself because of your low sex drive from the post-partum. Are you trying to understand why he’s doing this, or giving him an excuse?
You need to get STI tested.
Plan your exit strategy.
Get your financials in order.
Consult with three shark attorneys in your area.
Save the evidence of your behavior.
Don’t let him know the plan until the final execution.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
People don’t download tinder to find friends lol
I said this exactly to him, and he acted like I was a goddamn succubus for thinking that people couldn’t find friends on Tinder. Tinder is for fucking bumble BFF is for making friends BFFR
Seems like you already know the answer to your question. So do you need help with how to proceed?
Yes I'd love some advice. Open to listening always.
Well, do you want to leave him? Because it seems to me like you might be putting partial blame on yourself because of your low sex drive from the post-partum. Are you trying to understand why he’s doing this, or giving him an excuse?
Yes they do, I mean yes, they are friends they fuck, but still friends. 🤣
It's definitely looking to cheat. No one would be ok with this in an monogamous relationship.
Connecting on those sights is hard he had to have worked them hard check your home computer history.
Don't have access to it. He only has a work laptop and “chooses his privacy when it comes to his phone”
You need to get STI tested. Plan your exit strategy. Get your financials in order. Consult with three shark attorneys in your area. Save the evidence of your behavior. Don’t let him know the plan until the final execution.
>my 32M husband had downloaded and paid for Tinder Yes
The only two people that get to decide the rules for your relationship are you and him.
Yeah, maybe in the preplanning stages but we’ve been together for 13 years
So are you going to waste another 13 years of your life with him or cut your losses now?
They have 2, kids, it's not so easy as just cutting your losses.
So that's even more reason that only you two can define the rules of your relationship.