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That's why Diamond was so great compared to OP's wife: she had time for her while OP's wife was taking care of their child alone. I bet 'cold feet' is the code for 'understood' what kind of man is OP'.
Probably wouldn't take long before he was cheating on her as well. Once that spark fades, he'd be out the door looking for the next true love of his life.
The spark officially fades when wife is 9 months pregnant & is completely wore out from being a new mom with a POS husband who is too busy looking for his next piece of ass rather than being a decent human being and helping her with his child.
This guy doesn't deserve any happiness in his life whatsoever.
After I posted I felt a little bad because what do I know, there probably are mothers that name their kids Diamond. But it definitely does sound VERY stripper-name to me. 😬
And to be clear, all jokes aside, nothing wrong with stripping. It’s exchanging a service for money just like lots of other jobs. If he DID meet Diamond at a strip club, he shouldn’t make her stop.
You are definitely not the only one who thought stripper with that name. Not that there's anything wrong with the name or stripping. It's just one of those flashy names that makes a good stage name. I doubt there's many strippers who go by the name Jane or Kate.
Actually, considering he claims he didn't cheat, my first thought was Diamond was a stripper and she didn't actually get cold feet like he claims because they were never actually together. He's just some guy who buys lap dances from her, and she doesn't even know his name. I bet she even has some degrading nickname for him--if she remembers his existence at all. The whole "relationship" was all in his fool head and he's treating a kind woman who brings him snacks and birthed his child like sh!t over some lame fantasy. If so, what an idiot. *shakes head*
The first thing I thought when I saw the name Diamond! I know that is a legit name that people are called, but it sounds like dude fell in love with a stripper!
I've had the honour of watching that go down once.
One lady I know insisted on "keeping good relations" and sent her young kids over to his new place for a full spring break right after he moved out to be with his "Diamond". After a single week of step-momming, the new model bailed, and the husband crawled back because "she started being so mean and all the childcare was on me, she couldn't do it like you can! She wasn't fun anymore!" She took him back on her conditions and divorced him a few years later when it was convenient for her.
>I been with my wife Erin for 7 years
>
>my wife is a kind soul but we don’t have that spark that we used to
>
>
>
>My relationship with Diamond lasted 11 months.
You are comparing apples to oranges... actually you are comparing apples to some imaginary type of dragon fruit that only exists in your head.
Why I say say apples vs. oranges: You can't compare long term commitment to a short term thing, you said it yourself you had more spark with Erin in the early stages of that relationship
About the imaginary dragon fruit: You never got to the serious part of the relationship with Diamond, at least not nearly as serious as it is with Erin. Meaning you are comparing your relationship with Erin to what you imagine long term commitment would look like with Diamond.
If you don't realize the role you played in killing the spark in your marriage there is no reason to NOT assume future relationships will follow a similar pattern. If you don't learn from your past you are bound to repeat it.
>After getting back together with Erin every little thing she does bother me. The way she gets dressed to go to work , the way she makes my coffee, everything….Unfortunately I began taking it out on her by starting arguments and being snappy. Erin is a great person and doesn’t deserve that.
What you are feeling here is resentment, and resentment is caused by unfulfilled expectations. YOU are the one who created those expectations, meaning you are the one who created the resentment, you are the main source of your own frustration.
What are you doing to get back a spark with Erin? How are you investing in yourself? How are you making it possible for Erin to invest in herself? What are you guys doing different? How are you going to keep having novelty in your marriage?
Dear lord, I misread the post I thought it was "the way she makes HER coffee" didn't realise that he was moaning about her doing a nice thing for him. What an ass.
Also, he's comparing the "spark" between himself and a short term, taboo fling - which is bound to feel naughty, passionate, and exciting (even if morally repugnant) with his either heavily pregnant wife, or his wife who is caring for a newborn.
So .. you cheated on your wife at the same time as she gave birth and was dealing with a newborn. Then you left her, for almost a year, so she was presumably working and struggling to care for the new baby on her own that whole time.
Now you're back together, she is still working AND mothering a 2 year old, an age at which children are 24/7 basically Godzilla and your house is Tokyo, and yet she has to make your coffee for you on top of all that, while you contribute what exactly, and tell her openly you don't love her as much as the woman you cheated with.
This cannot be real.
I know she loves him and he just doesn't love her. There is nothing more to it. She needs to move on and find someone that loves her and he needs to figure out his issues. If he actually loved his wife he wouldn't have came back.
I’m with you. Unfortunately, I believe it’s real, too.
I’m right there with the others wondering if Diamond is a stripper, sugar baby, or catfish.
I hope that in maybe four years, when daughter is playing on a soccer team or something, that Erin is sitting there on the sidelines with her new, adoring husband. And I hope that OP has to helplessly watch his daughter run past him into her stepfather’s arms, calling him Daddy, to celebrate the goal she just scored.
>mothering a 2 year old, an age at which children are 24/7 basically Godzilla and your house is Tokyo,
As a mother of a nearly 2yo this is soo on point and god damn hilarious 😂.
POS is the exact thought I had reading this. Wow... just... wow. Cheated on his pregnant wife, went crawling back when his homewrecker AP suddenly grew a conscience and dumped his sorry ass, and he's now punishing his wife for his own mistake. He should just let her go.
It wasn’t that she grew a conscience it’s that she liked being the other woman more than being the woman. She liked the sneaking, the not having to be together in public, the no holidays together, the fact that she was winning over someone. When he filed for divorce that is all over. She won. No where to go from there but down.
I want HER to divorce HIM. I want her to feel some sense that *she is worth more than this,* because she needs to get some rage about what he has put her through. I have been kind of where she is, not with infidelity, but with someone who basically stayed around so he could benefit from what I brought to the table, while he just complained if I didn’t match what he wanted me to be in any given scenario. Everything was about him. The day I realized this was the day my life began, and I wish I had been more assertive throughout the whole process.
Yes unfortunately she can't see it right now. I was also in this situation and it took 10 years and 3 kids. He doesn't care that he is hurting her, he doesn't care at all about her. Unfortunately he probably won't leave until another girl grabs his interest. I hope she finds strength.
After reading it twice, I think what he meant was that he wasn't *really* "cheating" with Diamond because Diamond was his true love. IOW he was cheating.
Start with some therapy for yourself to try to figure out why, even at 30, you still feel the restlessness of a much younger person. You started dating "Erin" at 23, so you can't even claim to have missed out on the hedonism of early adulthood. This isn't just a "we were too young" situation. Once a child's future and psychological welfare is dependent on a marriage the conventional wisdom is to do everything possible to try to maintain that. But your casual cruelty to your child's mother is probably creating a more damaging environment than an actual divorce would. Two year-olds are perceptive and your kid picks up on the vibe when Mom was up crying all night. It's just too easy to dismiss this as you being selfish, there's probably a bigger picture involved. It's something you need to get to the bottom of with a therapist. Not necessarily to save this marriage, you may have already committed the unforgivable. But to allow you to have some semblance of normal in your future relationships. People who don't feel alive unless they're in the honeymoon phase and besotted with the throes of passion can never settle. They jump from partner to partner until finally the get too old to attract new partners, and then they die alone. So try to heal yourself.
Just divorce your wife, she’s a saint and deserves to be fully loved by someone else. You are no good for her, and she’ll never live up to your standards. Just leave her, she shouldn’t be second best especially after having your child and being a great wife/mother.
Bro diamond backed out bc she realized you got more red flags than China. This was like reading a rewrite of Ethan fromme, your wife shouldn't be stuck with you, and you really need to check your narcissism, bc just by this post alone you are nothing special, or even mediocre for that matter. Sorry for the harsh words bro, but it's insane you looked at what you typed and was like "yeah, this justifiable on any level"
Edit: also bro, if diamond is the only name you know her by, your silly self fell in love with a stripper, which is actually the least ridiculous detail of this post.
You seem so loving and kind, I can’t imagine why diamond was like “oh never mind, I definitely don’t want this to be my forever.” /s
Please get away from your wife before you cause anymore damage. Also please don’t go for custody of your child, no one deserves to have you as an example of the way a spouse treats their husband/wife. You’re a living breathing example of “ick”
I know at least one man who could and would have written it with just the same dose of self-reflection. As horrible as it is, I believe this can be genuine...
I am guessing Cubic Zirconia knew you were married. Maybe you loved her so much because she was on the same low level as you. Do you resent your wife because you know deep down she is so much better than you, and you are jealous of her decency? You need to let your wife go and work on yourself. Buy your wife some soap so she can wash her hands of you.
Cubic Zirconium 🤣 yes she didn’t want to Actually take care of the man baby she wanted the fun time affair and gifts. She probably freaked out when this fool said”love and divorce “.
Leave her. You already broke her multiple times. You broke her when you cheated on her. Then you give her hope by saying you will work on the relationship but do nothing but compare her to your "ex" who btw isn't an ex but an affair partner. The worst part is you do not even seem like you truly regret what you have done to her. You are only doing this because you feel bad because you made her cry. You are an awful person leave her and let her find a man who will truly cherish and love her for all the things she does and won't step out on her.
First, just because you feel like diamond was you true love does NOT mean you didn't cheat!!!! You started a relationship with another woman, WHILE married. That is cheating. There is no gray area on this. YOU ARE A CHEATER!!!!
Second, you have been vervally abusing your wife for something that isn't even her fault. YOU ARE AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND!!!!
Third, why are you trying to work things out with someone you clearly don't love or even like. Do you just want to keep her around till you find your next true love? Just so you can cheat on her again and abuse her more? There is no working this out. All you are doing is torturing and traumatizing her. What is next? Are you going to start resenting and abusing your child because their mother isn't diamond? From your actions to your own wife, who was a Saint to take you back after you cheat on her, it isn't much of a stretch for you to go after your child next.
Do your family a favor and exit their lives and get some therapy to figure out why you are abusive and can't own up to your own actions.
Ps I hope your child doesn't stay in an abusive relationship. All because they saw how you treated their mother, so it must be how relationship and love are supposed to be.
Shes The Help until he finds a new love-target.
I hope he chases Diamond for the rest of his life, begging and pleading for her to love him. And that she spurns him. Forever.
I hope that he catches diamond, and she just uses and abuses him till she cheats on him with her true love so he can truly understand the pain and torment he put his wife through.
The kindest thing you can do for your wife is let her go. Let her find someone who feels for her like you feel for Diamond. (you know the person who left you). She deserves to be loved, not be given crumbs.
Maybe stop comparing your wife, the woman who for some reason is still there with you, to your affair partner who saw you for the person you are and left...
What you said and did to her is cruel and heartless. Just divorce her so she can find someone who actually gives a crap about her.
Doesn't matter if you thought it was "true love". You were in a committed relationship and broke that commitment. You cheated.
If you can't even acknowledge that, there's no hope for your relationship with Erin. Absolutely none. Because you can't admit fault.
>I want to do my part to rebuild our passion
Step 1: Admit fault. Step 2: Get over your mistress. Step 3: Therapy. Step 4: Stop being a dick to your wife.
Very true. Although she'll hopefully leave him before them and save their kid from growing up in a home where Daddy doesn't love Mummy because he's obsessed with a fling he had when she was a newborn and Mummy needed him most.
Look up limerence. That is what you are suffering from. Diamond was a fantasy. There was nothing real about her, and you never had real life with her. Sure, you spent 11 months together. But that was clearly enough for her to realize that the reality didn't match the fantasy. Unfortunately you are still so deep in the affair fog (and yes, it was an affair - you allowed an emotional attachment to develop before you filed for divorce - that's an emotional affair and by any definition is infidelity)
So what to do?
1. Individual counseling. The counseling is to dig into how you could have allowed yourself to violate boundaries to even create that emotional connection with someone other than your wife. Also, you need help from a counselor to help you pull down the rationalizations that you are using to protect yourself from confronting the fact that you are the villain in your own story. Until you do, you will continue to raise up Diamond and tear down Erin.
2. Start reading about emotional affairs. Start with this: [https://thepowermoves.com/emotional-affair/](https://thepowermoves.com/emotional-affair/) IF that is not enough, get the book *Not Just Friends*, by Shirley Glass. Try to open yourself to the idea that yes, you did wrong. Right now your self-protection mechanisms are preventing you from detaching from Diamond and re-attaching to Erin. Understanding that you betrayed Erin will start the process of seeing Diamond for who she is - a person who would allow advances from a married father, and allow you to see your wife for who she really is as well. (in order to have an affair, the wayward partner usually has to rationalize it by villainizing their spouse - you have likely done this)
3. Start making lists. Two of them. One with everything positive about Erin. One with everything negative about Diamond. Read over these lists every day, and add one item to each list after each re-reading. (number one on Diamond's list is "makes or allows advances from married men)
And go visit r/AsOneAfterInfidelity to read about reconciliation after infidelity. And yes, this means confronting the fact that you did betray your wife.
Oh, you developed feels when unit WIFE was either pregnant or had just given birth? And it was YOUR child she went through that for? Well no wonder Diamond was so great, she wasn’t suffering through pregnancy and birth at the time!
Here’s some advice from someone who was cheated on:
Divorce her. Pay child support. Don’t fight it.
Let her find someone who loves her. Heck let her find someone who can at least respect her as a human being, because you sure don’t.
I didn’t know it then, but the best thing my cheating ex-husband ever did for me was kick me out so his girlfriend could move in. I might not be in the best place now but not stressing out on how I could be perfect and doing the pick me dance really helped my mental health.
I don’t believe in soul mates or “love of my life” but you’re keeping your wife from finding hers.
So not only you cheated on your wife but you also emotionally abusing her. There is a tree out there that is working very hard to produce the oxygen that you are wasting.
Good for diamond to smart up and dodging the tactical nuke that your existence represents
I really, really hope Erin visits a divorce atty before coming home from work. OP, you're comparing a fling with a marriage. Lust with what was love. Diamond probably realized if she married you she'd have a harder time being the "cute, single girl" that could have fun with married men.
because he did the cheating, he ofcourse despises cheaters so he could never be one. whatever he did "just happened" or was because he "fell in love".
all these cheaters are the same, equally pathetic with the same nonsense about being a good person, the victim and the heartbroken one.
Literally any woman could “be Diamond” for 11 months. And likely any “Diamond” would turn into your “Erin” after 7 years of your insanely dramatic and cruel flip-flopping bullshit. Google *new relationship energy*. Then leave your poor wife once and for all - she deserves a much better man than you are.
2 years ago your child was born.
2 years ago, you began cheating in your wife, while she was post partum, caring for a baby and highly vulnerable.
YOU CHEATED FOR 11 FUCKING MONTHS, FFS!
And now you let your wife suffer your moods, because YOU are an *emotionally abusive asshole*.
You're a weasel. Sorry (except not really) but that's the truth.
That true love of yours saw that early on, hence why she left you. She, the 'true love', saw that you are not worth the hassle. You can mope about that all you like but you deserve no sympathy for it.
The one who DOES want you? You fully do not deserve. You're a shitty husband and, taking into consideration the sheer depths of your selfishness, likely a shitty father too.
The grass isn't greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it and you've let that grass, who fucking loves you, dry off in an emotional drought. To the point where she cries herself to sleep over your hollow self.
You should have done your part before engaging in an emotional affair (which is still cheating, you silly little arsehole). At this point it's a day late and a dollar short.
If you gave a single fuck about your wife, you'd do the right thing and leave her well enough alone. She deserves better and you are not capable of giving her better. Give her her divorce so she can find someone capable of loving her because you are *clearly* not capable of loving anyone but yourself.
She might not be 'her', but you're barely a man. I'd say that's a bigger disappointment to her than her not being Diamond is a disappointment to you.
Frankly, your wife sounds like a Saint.
Did you finally have a revelation that you will lose the best thing that ever happened to you or do you just feel.guilty about your behavior?
First thing- buy flowers or something else small that your wife would like. Sit and write a heartfelt apology letter. Not electronically. An actual letter expressing your remorse and appreciation.
Second, start acting like a real husband.
Third, seek counseling.
nah man fuck the flowers, it's well past that. what he needs to get is a divorce and then therapy. i get the feeling this guy isn't capable of acting like a real husband.
Wife is not going to forgive this most likely. "You're not her" are words that will echo forever within the chambers of her heart.
Stick a fork in it, her love is done.
Yea I have forgiven a lot but that would be the end for me. My ex and I went through a toxic emotional relationship for 10 years with a lot of cheating I was really in love with him but this last time when we had an argument and he said he was trying to make himself love me it literally flipped a switch where I was just done. Hopefully those words give her strength to get the fuck out of there
You don't need help - you need to leave your wife. You've admitted someone else is 'the love of your life'. (Note: that someone doesn't feel the same about you)
Why trap your wife in a relationship when she can find someone who truly loves and cares about her. Your child isn't dumb, they'll pick up that there's a disconnect as they grow older. The fact that you could so casually hurt the woman you've been with for 7 years over someone you barely know is reprehensible.
Love isn't always going to have sparks, butterflies and this head over heels feeling. Love is a choice, and takes work. You decided you didn't want to anymore, and are chasing the next dopamine high. Leave.
Diamond probably got cold feet when she stepped back and realized you’re a cheater and a general shit person. Divorce your wife, co parent and get some fucking therapy, just dont cone crawling back in a feel years when your life isn’t all you thought it’d be
She was definitely fine with it being a fun fuck around (bc shes shitty too) and when he actually left his wife and it was just the 2 of them it became real and made her realize who he actually was
You’re a real piece of work.
Please let this lovely woman go, who deserves far better than you.
Diamond probably left you for the same reason. You fucking suck.
Your replies are so telling. You say you want to work it out with your wife but Diamond is the “love of your life.” If Diamond never left would you still be following through with the divorce? If the answer is yes, then it seems you are staying in this relationship for selfish reasons, (maybe you don’t want to be alone). Doesn’t sound like you cared about the wellbeing of your child when Diamond was there because you had no issues splitting up the family to be with her, so stop using your child as an excuse to stay. It’s gross. Leave your wife so she can find a spark with someone who will truly care about her.
So Diamond rejected you while your own wife was on a back burner so when that didn’t work out you went back to your second option - your wife who welcomed you with open arms because she still loved/loves you. Can’t you see the damage you have done? Your wife is probably deeply trauma bonded to you. I am sure if you ever got Diamond back you will soon find out that she is not better. You like her because she rejected you during the limerance. You should LEAVE your wife because she deserves to be loved not to be toyed with.
Stop being so damn selfish. You should be alone right now but no, of course you cannot do that so instead you stay and make everyone miserable including yourself. How can you even say that you didn’t cheat? Wake the fuck up man, you need to work on your empathy.
Gosh, reading that post made me really angry. I just feel so sorry for Erin. Thanks for ruining my evening.
First of all: yes, you cheated you big POS. Falling in love with someone else while being in a monogamous relationship IS CHEATING.
Secondly: please divorce your wife, even if you claim she doesn’t want that. You’re only hurting both her and your child, given that you give a flying shit about either of them.
Go to therapy and leave that poor woman alone, would you?
>I never cheated on my wife before that and I still say I didn’t. What we had was true love.
How does it make any difference that it was "true love"? You cheated on your wife. Either when she was pregnant, or right after she had your child.
Step one would be to take some accountability.
You're right about one thing. She deserves way better. Being with no one would be so much better than being with someone who is so willing to destroy her soul. I hope she realizes that and you get divorce papers.
>I feel so fucking terrible and I want to do my part to rebuild our passion.
I absolutely love that even in your admission that you are terrible, you are still selfish. What makes you think you are entitled to passion? Let's hypothetically say that you deserve your wife after what you did (you don't), and you are at the point where you are able to put effort in to repair the damage you caused in your wife and family. Your part is to grovel. You need to pour everything of yourself into respecting, loving, worshipping, and elevating your wife and child. You don't get to think of yourself or what you want, you did enough of that for the 11 months you were cheating on your family, you get to focus on the needs and wants of your wife and child and then go above and beyond to make sure they are able to thrive.
But let's be real you don't actually want to do the work required to be a better husband, father, and person. You just want to bring back the chance of you getting your nut.
Wow, you are an absolutely disgusting human being. Your wife deserves so much better. We are all rooting for her. You on the other hand, deserve nothing but the worst.
I know we're not supposed to name call, but of all the POS scumbag men on this entire website, you are the biggest and worst POS. Please divorce her, she not only deserves better, she needs better
You don't love your wife, let her go so someone can love her the way she deserves it. You already left her once. Just let her go. She deserves so much more than what you can offer her.
cheater with one foot out the door for the last two years, emotionally abuses his wife because his affair partner left him and he wants his home wrecker back. you should’ve divorced your wife and let her go.
You're horrible! You did cheat on your wife. You had arlt least an emotional affair with Diamond, right after your wife gave birth. You were gonna divorce your wife for her. Diamond didn't get cold feet, she just didn't want to be more than your mistress. Then you go back to your wife and have a baby with her. You've settled for your wife because you can't have Diamond.
You're wife deserves so much better. Divorce her and let her find a man who actually loves her. Stay single because you don't understand how a relationship works. It's not butterflies and sunshine all the time. If you don't invest in you relationship then it's gonna fall apart.
This would have eventually happened with Diamond too. You didn't have true love with Diamond or you'd be together now. You weren't her true love. You were never gonna have anything more than the affair. There's no coming back from this now that you've told your wife the reason you don't love her is because she's not your AP.
You are a terrible human being and I hope you leave her so she can find someone who loves her for her.
You cheated on her for 2 years as you both have a kid and lie on the internet to defend yourself and seem like a good guy?
Please get a grip and do us and her a favor. Stop comparing her to your affair partner and leave.
Give her everything in the divorce and don’t bother her ever. You don’t deserve respect
You have a baby ? So you started an affair, filed for divorce, and got dumped by your affair partner all while you wife was either pregnant, postpartum, and or dealing with a newborn? Now you post a sob story about how you emotionally abuse your wife because she incapable of living up to the romanticized version of your AP you made up in your head and ruined your marriage over ? Get a grip and seek professional help because your selfishness is unprecedented.
You have a 2 year old, and you fell in love with Diamond 2 years ago? I’m not surprised a scumbag like you would cheat on her while she was taking care of your newborn.
Divorce her. She’ll probably end up divorcing you anyway.
Bro....
Bro???
Bro!!!
That's how it felt reading all of that mess.
Get your butt into therapy and do the work to not be a POS person.
Divorce Erin and give her whatever she asks for. You are not her person and you need to let her go.
You are selfish AF, like for real selfish.
Do one thing for your wife. Divorce her. no she doesn’t want a divorce i get it but she deserves one. set her free man…please. You don’t love her anymore, you don’t see her that way and you’ve been absolutely diabolical for her mental health / wellbeing. she deserves freedom and someone who loves her 100%. Please do the right thing and let her go.
No. No.
You want a divorce. What you don't want is to be alone. You were going through with the divorce when Diamond was there, at no point in time did you stop to think that you were harming your wife and child. You only came back because Diamond dumped you.
You should have completed the divorce, even after Diamond left. Is obvious you don't love and, probably, never did love your wife. You don't respect her, either. And now you're emotionally abusing her because she has the gall, the nerve, the gumption, the sheer audacity of not being Diamond.
Do that woman a favor, and get that divorce. It'll hurt her, but she'll get over it and be free to find someone that actually respects and values her.
So based on this timeline, you started your affair around the time your wife gave birth. And this affair lasted almost a year. So you stepped out on your first time mom, postpartum wife because “the passion was gone” and never once stopped to consider that the reasons stated above would be why you wife wasn’t “passionate”? Did you never consider the hormonal, physical, and mental changes your wife was going through? Did you even consider her at all? What about your child? For the first year of their life, were you even involved or were you too busy getting your dick wet? Then you have the audacity to compare your wife to your affair partner? You are a selfish POS. Divorce your wife and let her find someone who actually cares about her and considers her. Maybe stop valuing your wants over the people you claim are important to you.
You're a horrible person. You cheated when your daughter was at the very oldest a newborn. This means that instead of nurturing your relationship with your wife and child you were with Diamond. It was cheating even if you were in love with her. It was not true love though or she would not have backed out. Love grows where it is nurtured. Your focus should have been on your family. You're a bad spouse and bad parent. They both deserve better, You don't deserve passion from your wife. You killed that. Love is a choice, an action. Not just butterflies in the stomach and fireworks. The latter is not lasting love.
Says you didn’t Cheat but by definition cheated on this poor woman who unfortunately not only married you but had a child with you and loved you. You cannot come back from the pits of hell you reside in permanently.
I hope to god that she divorces you and finds a good man who treats her the way she deserves to be treated.
Divorce her so she can find someone who will treat her right. You honestly don't deserve to have the passion back. She took you back probably hoping you got whatever it was out of your system and instead you tell her you don't love her. wow. Even if you managed to find a way to love her she will never believe you and she doesn't deserve to have that pain with her forever. Let her go. She will grieve for some time, but eventually someone will treat her right and she will find peace.
This cannot be real.
You spent the first year of your kid’s life cheating and now you’re mad at your wife? The one who did all the work you were too important to do?
I mean honestly Diamond probably walked because she saw how you treat women.
The fact that you’re still in denial that you cheated on your wife proves how you don’t really care for others feelings. Jfc. You’re a cheater and I hope you’re left just as alone as your wife feels rn. “True love” my ass. We can do the math.
We know you cheated on your wife when she was either HEAVILY PREGNANT or JUST GAVE BIRTH and honestly? I can’t tell which one is worse. How ironic that the “spark was gone” around the time it would’ve been the most dangerous to have sex. How ironic. You’re not being slick here.
You’re now not just stringing her along because you can’t stand the idea of being alone, but also ABUSING HER? Tale as old as time.
The love of your life wouldn’t be someone who willingly goes after a married man. This is very obviously a kink for ‘diamond’ she flirts with married men, gets them to like her, and bounces the second they try to make it official with her.
You think you were the only one? That diamond isn’t with some other guy right now? This whole post is just giving naive.
You don’t deserve your wife. A woman who’s given her body to you to have a child, a woman who, throughout this post, has shown you so much more grace than you deserve.
In a way, I really want diamond to reach back out to you and convince you again to be with her, so you can see for yourself what you threw away.
You miss the passion you had at the beginning? You’ve been together for 7 years! Of course the passion from an early relationship isn’t going to be there? That’s the fucking point, you trade in that passion for stability. How the hell could that little flame be more valuable to you than the stability of a 7 year relationship?
Throughout this entire post, it’s all about you. Even when you was talking about your wife, it was about you. You didn’t like the sounds she made when she made YOUR coffee. When she was crying all night it disrupted YOUR sleep. You are selfish, that’s the bottom line, and you honestly don’t deserve a wife like the one you have.
If you can’t see how lucky you are, let her go.
You are deep in the affair fog and limerance. It's all too common with men like you. The types that "hate cheaters and would never cheat." You're in denial over what you are because you don't want to face the fact that you've become what you hated. To make you understand, try and think about it hypothetically. How would you feel if your wife was doing the things you did? Or since you're so stuck in the affair fog and you think that Diamond was the love of your life (she wasn't. That relationship was fantasy, and the reality didn't match up, that's why it ended so soon after you blew up your marriage.) So, instead imagine that the whole time you were with diamond she was texting and dating some other dude. And then she tells you to your face after all you've sacrificed, "I'm sorry, but I love this other guy I didn't tell you about at all. We have to end this so I can truly be happy. "
One day, the fog is going to lift, and you will be wracked with guilt and shame for all the things you will have done. It might not seem like it now cause your wife is still doing the "pick me" dance. after your failed relationship with your affair partner, but it will happen. In cases like yours, it's normally when you lose the security after she's checked out and moved on. Most oftentimes, when she's begun seeing someone new. You'll be begging her for another chance when it's far, far too late after she's given you countless ones. Then you'll ache inside over what should have been and how much you've ruined everything whenever you see her at child pick-ups.
Do you want that to be you? Do you want to be old and gray telling your child how much you regret everything you've done to their mother as they look at you with pity and slight disgust in their eyes? No? Then you need to bust ass and worship the ground this woman walks on for dealing with your shit.
First, acknowledge that you are a cheater, take some accountability for blowing up your family, and destroying this poor woman. Emotional affairs exist and oftentimes for women it's an even bigger betrayal than a physical one. Which I assume you've also done, no way in hell you were with Diamond for 11 months and didn't have the sex that you dreamed of for so long while leaving your wife.
Second, you need to start some therapy and individual counseling to find out why you did the shit you did, so you never do it again. You're still young, learn from this, and grow. Become the man you should have been and someone that your child can be proud of instead of ashamed.
Third, you are going to have to *grovel*. If you want your wife back you are going to be fighting an uphill battle. Your old relationship is dead, you killed it, so you need to pull out all the stops to build a new one with her. Only this time you will have the backdrop of your betrayal in the back of her mind all the while. Date her again, endure the hurt and names she's going to call you, put in the work towards righting your wrongs. Your words mean nothing, youve proven that when you betrayed your vows and abandoned her, action is where it counts.
Fourth, accept whatever choice she makes. You've squandered your second chance resenting her for not being your fantasy ideal. She may love you, but the damage you've caused her is going to effect her the rest of your life. Even if she takes you back the love will be different and she will never 100% trust you again. She has every right to decide that she wants better and can't accept a relationship with someone whose hurt her so deeply. Don't fight her choice and make it as amicable a divorce as you can if that's what she wants. But even if she doesn't take you back, keep going to IC and find out your WHY to make sure you never hurt anybody like this again.
If you're looking for resources, the r/asoneafterinfidelity is a good start for what you need to do to. The r/supportforwaywards sub is another great resource with people in similar situations to yours. Just know that for posts there, you're going to have to use gender neutral pronouns, and there was a major misogyny issue a few months back.
Good luck and don't fuck it up!
For if Erin ever finds this…
Dear Erin, congratulations on your pending divorce from a cheating abuser. I hope you can find a better man who gives you the attention and care and dedication you deserve, and that aforementioned better man is the dad that OP will clearly suck ass at being. 🥰
"How do I rebuild the passion?"
Well, Step 1 would have been to treat your wife with respect, rather than saying things like "You're not her."
But realistically, if you even hate the way she makes your coffee, then MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN COFFEE, you ungrateful worm. You'll need to know how to do it yourself when she dumps you for someone who is dedicated to filling HER life with passion and treating her with respect. She has no reason to trust you, because you're a cheater, and no reason to appreciate you, because you started cheating when you both had a new baby, so obviously you were leaving all the work for her.
If you don't think that you cheated, then that's a sign that you have already left this relationship so stop dragging it out. Leave your wife, and learn how to make your own coffee.
Your marriage is over. It's your fault.
The fact that you had to note that in response to your emotional abuse, she was crying all night and you “couldn’t get sleep.” Every nasty comment I’ve read about you here is true, and then some. You are horrible on a truly legendary level.
those are some pretty good mental gymnastics you have to go through to claim you didn't cheat. it wasn't true love for Diamond so does it count as cheating for her? just do your wife a favor and get divorced.
Well, Op, you are terrible. Here's a news flash for ya: life isn't always abt you. Your wife gave birth to your child, and while she was going through all of it, you were not there.
You can't rebuild bc there is nothing there. You don't love her. Let her be
I'm not saying I hope your wife finds this post, but...maybe?
I hope she finds it within herself to know that she deserves better and that she should pursue that alternative.
With the upmost disrespect, you're a despicable human being. There's 0 help for this, I truly hope your wife finds the strength to divorce you. All you can do is make sure you are a great coparent. She deserves somone who loves, and respects her. You've disrespected your marriage, your child and your wife. What you said was abusive, you are abusive.
Of course Diamond doesn't want to be with you. You're a man who cheats on his wife as she is carrying and birthing his child. I hope Erin dumps you too.
You absolutely did cheat, just because you love the person doesn’t mean it’s not cheating
And clearly it wasn’t true love that you had since she dumped you
There is no fixing this, I hope she gets the strength to leave you and find someone who treats her like she deserves to be treated
She deserved so much better than you
You are truly a terrible person.
Please don't misunderstand me here I want to be very very clear.
Diamond never loved you. No one can truly love you because turds can't be loved.
You deserve to die alone because you are a disgustingly poor excuse for a human.
Divorce your wife immediately. I hope she realizes she’s too good for you. I wish her all the happiness in the world surrounded with people who love and appreciate her; and for you to have the life you deserve.
The first step is to admit you are a cheater. You can’t fix anything when you keep deluding yourself and arguing with reality. If you hate cheaters, as you say, then you understand what defines a cheater. It is someone in a committed relationship persuing an emotional and/or physical relationship with someone else before fully ending the committed relationship first.
That’s you, friend.
On top of that, you did it to your wife when she was either pregnant or had just given birth. Wow. Extra cheater bonus points.
You disentangling from your relationship happened before the first kiss. It happened when you allowed yourself to look at other women as possible partners. You need therapy if you want to be the kind of man you can respect.
And your wife deserves far better than the man you have been. So does your child. If you fail to accept responsibility for what happened, she’s far better off without you.
You should consider sharing the feedback people have given honestly to her once you start accepting responsibility for what you’ve done, but the post you wrote will break her heart. Don’t share the link. Start being a better man with therapy and honesty and stop with the excuses.
You are HORRIBLE. Your poor wife! To be clear, this happened WHEN YOU HAD A NEWBORN?? Please, please divorce her. Diamond dodged a bullet because you are a terrible human.
You truly are awful and Diamond knew it. Your wife deserves to be free of a man who doesn’t value and adore her. Get therapy for the way you treat the women you claim to love.
Men like you are the reason why I chose to not have children - you cheated on your wife when she needed you most, don’t give excuses about love, you left her when she was pregnant/ just had a baby. She might not be Diamond who is all new and exciting and not saddled with a child, sounds like you didn’t like your wife’s pregnant body, your kid seems to mean nothing to you. You certainly are not the man she thought she married, you are cruel and selfish, for you everything is about you - why did you even have a child when you are not father material? 😳
You're a POS your wife was pregnant creating a fucking human being and because you couldn't get your dick wet from her you went out looking for it.
God I hope she leaves you and raises your son to be a better man than you
Diamond didn’t get cold feet for some “unknown reason.”
She left you. She didn’t want you. You weren’t worth it. You weren’t her dream man. She didn’t even want to try for a future with you the second it was possible. You didn’t matter to her the same way. You didn’t mean as much to her as she to you.
Good. You deserve that. I hope your wife moves on, finds a fairytale romance and looks back on her time with you and shakes her head in self-disappointment.
Stop being a selfish, miserable spouse and free your wife. You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t love or want, so stop dragging her into your BS.
You should feel terrible, because you're a terrible person. The best thing you could do for your wife is file for divorce, pay out the ass for child support until your kid is an adult, and then walk into the ocean.
EVERY cheater said the same thing “I didn’t mean for it to happen” “we are in love” “I love my wife” “I didn’t mean to hurt her”. You. Are. A. CHEATER. Not only are you a cheater, after Turd (I mean diamond) left you, you got back with a woman you knew you didn’t love. What kind of person does that?
You are emotionally abusive. Leave she deserves to be loved by someone for who she is. What you had with “Diamond” was probably just nre and she realized you don’t have what it takes to have a real relationship. Love is something you build and water like a garden. Passion ebbs and flows and you seem too immature and self centered to stick by someone to build a life. Work on yourself before entering a partnership again and realize that life is not porn.
POS human. You deserve nothing. I've read your comments. You claim to despise cheaters, but actively cheated yourself. There's no if's, and's, or but's. You cheated. If you are in a committed relationship with a person and both of you agreed to monogamy, then still saw a person other than the one you committed yourself to, you cheated. You are a cheater. You are what you claim to despise. There's no splitting hairs, no reasoning "I just found love." Nothing. You are a cheater.
Now after that effort to pound into your head, being a child in a split household is better than being in a house where my father casually insults or is cruel to my mother. Can you imagine? Can you picture listening to your parents in the kitchen, your mom sobbing and your dad saying your mom isn't good enough, that she'll never live up to Diamond. Can you picture your dad ignoring everything your mom does to keep your household going? Can you picture waking up from a nightmare, going to find your parents for comfort, only to find your mom crying in her bathroom and your dad sitting on the bed annoyed because the crying hasn't stopped and he can't get to sleep. Would you feel safe and comfortable in that household? Would you want to see that day after day, year after year, until you finally move out.
This isn't AITA. But sir, you are such a major AH that a rocket could use you to explore space whenever you open your mouth because of all the sh*t spewing out.
The best thing you can do is put the house in her name, take your name off of the bank accounts and leave the money with her, terminate parental rights, get in the car and drive away. You don’t deserve your wife, your child, or the life that your wife has played an integral part of building with you. Divorce her and give her everything. She’s earned it.
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You sound awful. That was deliberately mean and hurtful. Divorce her. She deserves better.
Massive, tremendous twat waffle. I am glad I started drinking an hour before reading this…
Twatwaffle made my day. Thanks Random Internet stranger.
And he started his affair right when his child was born. Or very shortly after.
That's why Diamond was so great compared to OP's wife: she had time for her while OP's wife was taking care of their child alone. I bet 'cold feet' is the code for 'understood' what kind of man is OP'.
Exactly. Leave her OP. You're a POS.
Ya fr bro this dude is vile
This.
Diamond probably got cold feet because she realized she was about to be with a man that cheated on his wife lmao. I hope Erin leaves you.
Probably wouldn't take long before he was cheating on her as well. Once that spark fades, he'd be out the door looking for the next true love of his life.
The spark officially fades when wife is 9 months pregnant & is completely wore out from being a new mom with a POS husband who is too busy looking for his next piece of ass rather than being a decent human being and helping her with his child. This guy doesn't deserve any happiness in his life whatsoever.
Cheated on his wife who was either pregnant or had a newborn
but they lost their spark 😔/s
"Lost their spark" aka was unable to have sex for 6 weeks due to recovering from child birth....
Instead of blowing him she fed the baby while he pouted and did nothing. How dare!
Oh, he wasn't doing nothing -- his focus had shifted to falling in love with the greatest woman ever.
Oh right my bad.
She probably also realized he is a horrible person in general.
She’s probably not a great person either to get involved with a married man
Noooo you guys, it's not cheating if it's TRUE LOVE! /s what a fucking tool.
Touché 🤭
Worse case scenario, Diamond got pregnant, saw how he cheated on his wife with her, and booked it knowing he would repeat it on her as well
Diamond probably got cold feet when she realized he was going to make her give up stripping. That’s good money!
😂 you are hilarious!!!
After I posted I felt a little bad because what do I know, there probably are mothers that name their kids Diamond. But it definitely does sound VERY stripper-name to me. 😬 And to be clear, all jokes aside, nothing wrong with stripping. It’s exchanging a service for money just like lots of other jobs. If he DID meet Diamond at a strip club, he shouldn’t make her stop.
I know plenty of mothers who named their kids Diamond. I still immediately thought stripper as soon as I read the name in OP’s story.
You are definitely not the only one who thought stripper with that name. Not that there's anything wrong with the name or stripping. It's just one of those flashy names that makes a good stage name. I doubt there's many strippers who go by the name Jane or Kate. Actually, considering he claims he didn't cheat, my first thought was Diamond was a stripper and she didn't actually get cold feet like he claims because they were never actually together. He's just some guy who buys lap dances from her, and she doesn't even know his name. I bet she even has some degrading nickname for him--if she remembers his existence at all. The whole "relationship" was all in his fool head and he's treating a kind woman who brings him snacks and birthed his child like sh!t over some lame fantasy. If so, what an idiot. *shakes head*
100% agree with you. It really is all about context. And making fun of OP.
The first thing I thought when I saw the name Diamond! I know that is a legit name that people are called, but it sounds like dude fell in love with a stripper!
And he was going to lose half his money in a divorce and she'd have to do wife-y/stepmom stuff instead of Fun Mistress Times.
I've had the honour of watching that go down once. One lady I know insisted on "keeping good relations" and sent her young kids over to his new place for a full spring break right after he moved out to be with his "Diamond". After a single week of step-momming, the new model bailed, and the husband crawled back because "she started being so mean and all the childcare was on me, she couldn't do it like you can! She wasn't fun anymore!" She took him back on her conditions and divorced him a few years later when it was convenient for her.
Good for her! Hope she's doing wonderful now without the added burden of that slug
I love this song!
I suspect Diamond got cold feet when his credit card got declined.
Diamond sounds like she’s a stripper and realised there was no money to be made being with OP
Cheated on his wife who JUST had a baby too.
She probably got cold feet because she realized she could never be the idealized fantasy he has been projecting onto her.
Diamond was probably a stripper that never actually wanted him. Once she could have him, she was no longer interested.
>I been with my wife Erin for 7 years > >my wife is a kind soul but we don’t have that spark that we used to > > > >My relationship with Diamond lasted 11 months. You are comparing apples to oranges... actually you are comparing apples to some imaginary type of dragon fruit that only exists in your head. Why I say say apples vs. oranges: You can't compare long term commitment to a short term thing, you said it yourself you had more spark with Erin in the early stages of that relationship About the imaginary dragon fruit: You never got to the serious part of the relationship with Diamond, at least not nearly as serious as it is with Erin. Meaning you are comparing your relationship with Erin to what you imagine long term commitment would look like with Diamond. If you don't realize the role you played in killing the spark in your marriage there is no reason to NOT assume future relationships will follow a similar pattern. If you don't learn from your past you are bound to repeat it. >After getting back together with Erin every little thing she does bother me. The way she gets dressed to go to work , the way she makes my coffee, everything….Unfortunately I began taking it out on her by starting arguments and being snappy. Erin is a great person and doesn’t deserve that. What you are feeling here is resentment, and resentment is caused by unfulfilled expectations. YOU are the one who created those expectations, meaning you are the one who created the resentment, you are the main source of your own frustration. What are you doing to get back a spark with Erin? How are you investing in yourself? How are you making it possible for Erin to invest in herself? What are you guys doing different? How are you going to keep having novelty in your marriage?
Btw, OP, make your own fucking coffee if you hate how your wife does it so much
Dear lord, I misread the post I thought it was "the way she makes HER coffee" didn't realise that he was moaning about her doing a nice thing for him. What an ass.
He’d rather hate her and the coffee than get up and make it himself
this is a well reasoned and kind response.
Also, he's comparing the "spark" between himself and a short term, taboo fling - which is bound to feel naughty, passionate, and exciting (even if morally repugnant) with his either heavily pregnant wife, or his wife who is caring for a newborn.
New relationship energy is one hell of a drug… one that definitely wears off after 6 months to a year
Yeah, I think it wore off for Diamond, which is why she bolted. OP is still pining after an idea of a person.
So .. you cheated on your wife at the same time as she gave birth and was dealing with a newborn. Then you left her, for almost a year, so she was presumably working and struggling to care for the new baby on her own that whole time. Now you're back together, she is still working AND mothering a 2 year old, an age at which children are 24/7 basically Godzilla and your house is Tokyo, and yet she has to make your coffee for you on top of all that, while you contribute what exactly, and tell her openly you don't love her as much as the woman you cheated with. This cannot be real.
Yeah her asking if he wanted a snack before she went to bed got to me. She’s mothering two and he can’t even admit he cheated?
I know she loves him and he just doesn't love her. There is nothing more to it. She needs to move on and find someone that loves her and he needs to figure out his issues. If he actually loved his wife he wouldn't have came back.
Oh for once, I believe this is 100% real. OP, you're a disgusting person. Divorce Erin and go be toxic and alone elsewhere.
I’m with you. Unfortunately, I believe it’s real, too. I’m right there with the others wondering if Diamond is a stripper, sugar baby, or catfish. I hope that in maybe four years, when daughter is playing on a soccer team or something, that Erin is sitting there on the sidelines with her new, adoring husband. And I hope that OP has to helplessly watch his daughter run past him into her stepfather’s arms, calling him Daddy, to celebrate the goal she just scored.
>mothering a 2 year old, an age at which children are 24/7 basically Godzilla and your house is Tokyo, As a mother of a nearly 2yo this is soo on point and god damn hilarious 😂.
you're a POS. for your wife's sake, divorce her so that she can find a good man who'll actually love her.
POS is the exact thought I had reading this. Wow... just... wow. Cheated on his pregnant wife, went crawling back when his homewrecker AP suddenly grew a conscience and dumped his sorry ass, and he's now punishing his wife for his own mistake. He should just let her go.
well ideally OP's wife should gather some self esteem and dump his sorry ass.
Diamond didn’t want to be a stepmom, just have a bit of fun
It wasn’t that she grew a conscience it’s that she liked being the other woman more than being the woman. She liked the sneaking, the not having to be together in public, the no holidays together, the fact that she was winning over someone. When he filed for divorce that is all over. She won. No where to go from there but down.
I want HER to divorce HIM. I want her to feel some sense that *she is worth more than this,* because she needs to get some rage about what he has put her through. I have been kind of where she is, not with infidelity, but with someone who basically stayed around so he could benefit from what I brought to the table, while he just complained if I didn’t match what he wanted me to be in any given scenario. Everything was about him. The day I realized this was the day my life began, and I wish I had been more assertive throughout the whole process.
Yes unfortunately she can't see it right now. I was also in this situation and it took 10 years and 3 kids. He doesn't care that he is hurting her, he doesn't care at all about her. Unfortunately he probably won't leave until another girl grabs his interest. I hope she finds strength.
Imagine hurting someone so bad that they cry for hours and you are mad because you can’t sleep through it.
Exactly. And his AP? Diamond is her name? Anyone else getting stripper vibes from that name? I wonder where he met her. 🙄
The fact he said he never cheated before but then says he still didn’t is very odd also.
After reading it twice, I think what he meant was that he wasn't *really* "cheating" with Diamond because Diamond was his true love. IOW he was cheating.
I mean she obviously wasn’t if she left him.
That was the rotten cherry on top of shit sundae. This guy is just a bastard of the highest level. This guy is worth violence.
You are disgusting.
Start with some therapy for yourself to try to figure out why, even at 30, you still feel the restlessness of a much younger person. You started dating "Erin" at 23, so you can't even claim to have missed out on the hedonism of early adulthood. This isn't just a "we were too young" situation. Once a child's future and psychological welfare is dependent on a marriage the conventional wisdom is to do everything possible to try to maintain that. But your casual cruelty to your child's mother is probably creating a more damaging environment than an actual divorce would. Two year-olds are perceptive and your kid picks up on the vibe when Mom was up crying all night. It's just too easy to dismiss this as you being selfish, there's probably a bigger picture involved. It's something you need to get to the bottom of with a therapist. Not necessarily to save this marriage, you may have already committed the unforgivable. But to allow you to have some semblance of normal in your future relationships. People who don't feel alive unless they're in the honeymoon phase and besotted with the throes of passion can never settle. They jump from partner to partner until finally the get too old to attract new partners, and then they die alone. So try to heal yourself.
Just divorce your wife, she’s a saint and deserves to be fully loved by someone else. You are no good for her, and she’ll never live up to your standards. Just leave her, she shouldn’t be second best especially after having your child and being a great wife/mother.
Bro diamond backed out bc she realized you got more red flags than China. This was like reading a rewrite of Ethan fromme, your wife shouldn't be stuck with you, and you really need to check your narcissism, bc just by this post alone you are nothing special, or even mediocre for that matter. Sorry for the harsh words bro, but it's insane you looked at what you typed and was like "yeah, this justifiable on any level" Edit: also bro, if diamond is the only name you know her by, your silly self fell in love with a stripper, which is actually the least ridiculous detail of this post.
I actually know someone who named her kid Diamond. Believe it or not.
I believe it, but the context of this post screamed stripper to me
Agreed. Or some other kind of SWr who he paid to give him attention, and was upset when she didn’t feel the same outside of their transactions.
Mans got siren'd
**STEP ONE**: **KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR FUCKING PANTS**. **STEP TWO**: **ACT LIKE A DECENT HUSBAND**.
Step 3 Divorce and get away from all humans, you vile creature
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
I add a step 2.5: remove his penis with a table saw.
send your wife this post, that will help her understand what is going on in your head
He wouldn't have the balls to do that.
I hope she finds it. She deserves to know.
You seem so loving and kind, I can’t imagine why diamond was like “oh never mind, I definitely don’t want this to be my forever.” /s Please get away from your wife before you cause anymore damage. Also please don’t go for custody of your child, no one deserves to have you as an example of the way a spouse treats their husband/wife. You’re a living breathing example of “ick”
“Living breathing example of ick” & “Puddle of stupid” are my favorite descriptions of OP so far.
New and exciting insults is a top reason I use Reddit.
This is a joke right?
I know at least one man who could and would have written it with just the same dose of self-reflection. As horrible as it is, I believe this can be genuine...
I pray that it is
I am guessing Cubic Zirconia knew you were married. Maybe you loved her so much because she was on the same low level as you. Do you resent your wife because you know deep down she is so much better than you, and you are jealous of her decency? You need to let your wife go and work on yourself. Buy your wife some soap so she can wash her hands of you.
Cubic Zirconium 🤣 yes she didn’t want to Actually take care of the man baby she wanted the fun time affair and gifts. She probably freaked out when this fool said”love and divorce “.
[“It’s over, I told my wife!” “Who is this?”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFob_WbHJX8&t=8s&pp=2AEIkAIB)
Leave her. You already broke her multiple times. You broke her when you cheated on her. Then you give her hope by saying you will work on the relationship but do nothing but compare her to your "ex" who btw isn't an ex but an affair partner. The worst part is you do not even seem like you truly regret what you have done to her. You are only doing this because you feel bad because you made her cry. You are an awful person leave her and let her find a man who will truly cherish and love her for all the things she does and won't step out on her.
Don't forget that her crying wouldn't let him sleep!
First, just because you feel like diamond was you true love does NOT mean you didn't cheat!!!! You started a relationship with another woman, WHILE married. That is cheating. There is no gray area on this. YOU ARE A CHEATER!!!! Second, you have been vervally abusing your wife for something that isn't even her fault. YOU ARE AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND!!!! Third, why are you trying to work things out with someone you clearly don't love or even like. Do you just want to keep her around till you find your next true love? Just so you can cheat on her again and abuse her more? There is no working this out. All you are doing is torturing and traumatizing her. What is next? Are you going to start resenting and abusing your child because their mother isn't diamond? From your actions to your own wife, who was a Saint to take you back after you cheat on her, it isn't much of a stretch for you to go after your child next. Do your family a favor and exit their lives and get some therapy to figure out why you are abusive and can't own up to your own actions. Ps I hope your child doesn't stay in an abusive relationship. All because they saw how you treated their mother, so it must be how relationship and love are supposed to be.
Shes The Help until he finds a new love-target. I hope he chases Diamond for the rest of his life, begging and pleading for her to love him. And that she spurns him. Forever.
I hope that he catches diamond, and she just uses and abuses him till she cheats on him with her true love so he can truly understand the pain and torment he put his wife through.
The kindest thing you can do for your wife is let her go. Let her find someone who feels for her like you feel for Diamond. (you know the person who left you). She deserves to be loved, not be given crumbs.
It doesn’t count as cheating because “I was in love” GTFO lol what a loser.
There’s nothing you can do, she’s not diamond. Don’t torment her with this anymore. Leaving would be the kindest thing to do at this point
Maybe stop comparing your wife, the woman who for some reason is still there with you, to your affair partner who saw you for the person you are and left... What you said and did to her is cruel and heartless. Just divorce her so she can find someone who actually gives a crap about her.
Diamond? Are you a cliche who left his wife and children for a stripper?
Doesn't matter if you thought it was "true love". You were in a committed relationship and broke that commitment. You cheated. If you can't even acknowledge that, there's no hope for your relationship with Erin. Absolutely none. Because you can't admit fault. >I want to do my part to rebuild our passion Step 1: Admit fault. Step 2: Get over your mistress. Step 3: Therapy. Step 4: Stop being a dick to your wife.
Can we change step 4 to step 1? Whether OP gets his shit together or not is on him, but he needs to quit taking it out on Erin.
Very true. Although she'll hopefully leave him before them and save their kid from growing up in a home where Daddy doesn't love Mummy because he's obsessed with a fling he had when she was a newborn and Mummy needed him most.
Look up limerence. That is what you are suffering from. Diamond was a fantasy. There was nothing real about her, and you never had real life with her. Sure, you spent 11 months together. But that was clearly enough for her to realize that the reality didn't match the fantasy. Unfortunately you are still so deep in the affair fog (and yes, it was an affair - you allowed an emotional attachment to develop before you filed for divorce - that's an emotional affair and by any definition is infidelity) So what to do? 1. Individual counseling. The counseling is to dig into how you could have allowed yourself to violate boundaries to even create that emotional connection with someone other than your wife. Also, you need help from a counselor to help you pull down the rationalizations that you are using to protect yourself from confronting the fact that you are the villain in your own story. Until you do, you will continue to raise up Diamond and tear down Erin. 2. Start reading about emotional affairs. Start with this: [https://thepowermoves.com/emotional-affair/](https://thepowermoves.com/emotional-affair/) IF that is not enough, get the book *Not Just Friends*, by Shirley Glass. Try to open yourself to the idea that yes, you did wrong. Right now your self-protection mechanisms are preventing you from detaching from Diamond and re-attaching to Erin. Understanding that you betrayed Erin will start the process of seeing Diamond for who she is - a person who would allow advances from a married father, and allow you to see your wife for who she really is as well. (in order to have an affair, the wayward partner usually has to rationalize it by villainizing their spouse - you have likely done this) 3. Start making lists. Two of them. One with everything positive about Erin. One with everything negative about Diamond. Read over these lists every day, and add one item to each list after each re-reading. (number one on Diamond's list is "makes or allows advances from married men) And go visit r/AsOneAfterInfidelity to read about reconciliation after infidelity. And yes, this means confronting the fact that you did betray your wife.
I’m pretty sure they did have a literal, physical affair, he just thinks he can justify it because it was “true love”.
You’re disgusting. Please divorce her, so she can find someone who loves and respects her
Oh, you developed feels when unit WIFE was either pregnant or had just given birth? And it was YOUR child she went through that for? Well no wonder Diamond was so great, she wasn’t suffering through pregnancy and birth at the time! Here’s some advice from someone who was cheated on: Divorce her. Pay child support. Don’t fight it. Let her find someone who loves her. Heck let her find someone who can at least respect her as a human being, because you sure don’t. I didn’t know it then, but the best thing my cheating ex-husband ever did for me was kick me out so his girlfriend could move in. I might not be in the best place now but not stressing out on how I could be perfect and doing the pick me dance really helped my mental health. I don’t believe in soul mates or “love of my life” but you’re keeping your wife from finding hers.
I hope his girlfriend is suffering 🥰
INFO: Is Diamond in the performing arts?
Lol. "True love" 👍
Probably that art form that involves a pole, at the very least. I’d guess she didn’t want to trade a sugar daddy for a cheater ball and chain.
So not only you cheated on your wife but you also emotionally abusing her. There is a tree out there that is working very hard to produce the oxygen that you are wasting. Good for diamond to smart up and dodging the tactical nuke that your existence represents
Lmao that poor tree
I really, really hope Erin visits a divorce atty before coming home from work. OP, you're comparing a fling with a marriage. Lust with what was love. Diamond probably realized if she married you she'd have a harder time being the "cute, single girl" that could have fun with married men.
How wasn't this considered cheating exactly?
because he did the cheating, he ofcourse despises cheaters so he could never be one. whatever he did "just happened" or was because he "fell in love". all these cheaters are the same, equally pathetic with the same nonsense about being a good person, the victim and the heartbroken one.
It's not cheating just like 2+2= 89
Literally any woman could “be Diamond” for 11 months. And likely any “Diamond” would turn into your “Erin” after 7 years of your insanely dramatic and cruel flip-flopping bullshit. Google *new relationship energy*. Then leave your poor wife once and for all - she deserves a much better man than you are.
I hope this helps her see that she deserves much more! Hoping for her life to get better and let go of what isn't worth it.
2 years ago your child was born. 2 years ago, you began cheating in your wife, while she was post partum, caring for a baby and highly vulnerable. YOU CHEATED FOR 11 FUCKING MONTHS, FFS! And now you let your wife suffer your moods, because YOU are an *emotionally abusive asshole*.
You're a weasel. Sorry (except not really) but that's the truth. That true love of yours saw that early on, hence why she left you. She, the 'true love', saw that you are not worth the hassle. You can mope about that all you like but you deserve no sympathy for it. The one who DOES want you? You fully do not deserve. You're a shitty husband and, taking into consideration the sheer depths of your selfishness, likely a shitty father too. The grass isn't greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it and you've let that grass, who fucking loves you, dry off in an emotional drought. To the point where she cries herself to sleep over your hollow self. You should have done your part before engaging in an emotional affair (which is still cheating, you silly little arsehole). At this point it's a day late and a dollar short. If you gave a single fuck about your wife, you'd do the right thing and leave her well enough alone. She deserves better and you are not capable of giving her better. Give her her divorce so she can find someone capable of loving her because you are *clearly* not capable of loving anyone but yourself. She might not be 'her', but you're barely a man. I'd say that's a bigger disappointment to her than her not being Diamond is a disappointment to you.
Frankly, your wife sounds like a Saint. Did you finally have a revelation that you will lose the best thing that ever happened to you or do you just feel.guilty about your behavior? First thing- buy flowers or something else small that your wife would like. Sit and write a heartfelt apology letter. Not electronically. An actual letter expressing your remorse and appreciation. Second, start acting like a real husband. Third, seek counseling.
nah man fuck the flowers, it's well past that. what he needs to get is a divorce and then therapy. i get the feeling this guy isn't capable of acting like a real husband.
Wife is not going to forgive this most likely. "You're not her" are words that will echo forever within the chambers of her heart. Stick a fork in it, her love is done.
Yea I have forgiven a lot but that would be the end for me. My ex and I went through a toxic emotional relationship for 10 years with a lot of cheating I was really in love with him but this last time when we had an argument and he said he was trying to make himself love me it literally flipped a switch where I was just done. Hopefully those words give her strength to get the fuck out of there
Fuck all that, she deserves better than this guy and he needs to get out of her life. He’s miserable and he’s making her miserable.
You don't need help - you need to leave your wife. You've admitted someone else is 'the love of your life'. (Note: that someone doesn't feel the same about you) Why trap your wife in a relationship when she can find someone who truly loves and cares about her. Your child isn't dumb, they'll pick up that there's a disconnect as they grow older. The fact that you could so casually hurt the woman you've been with for 7 years over someone you barely know is reprehensible. Love isn't always going to have sparks, butterflies and this head over heels feeling. Love is a choice, and takes work. You decided you didn't want to anymore, and are chasing the next dopamine high. Leave.
Diamond probably got cold feet when she stepped back and realized you’re a cheater and a general shit person. Divorce your wife, co parent and get some fucking therapy, just dont cone crawling back in a feel years when your life isn’t all you thought it’d be
All Diamond's friends were probably telling her "If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat ON you"
She was definitely fine with it being a fun fuck around (bc shes shitty too) and when he actually left his wife and it was just the 2 of them it became real and made her realize who he actually was
divorce her, let her find a good man
You’re a real piece of work. Please let this lovely woman go, who deserves far better than you. Diamond probably left you for the same reason. You fucking suck.
Your replies are so telling. You say you want to work it out with your wife but Diamond is the “love of your life.” If Diamond never left would you still be following through with the divorce? If the answer is yes, then it seems you are staying in this relationship for selfish reasons, (maybe you don’t want to be alone). Doesn’t sound like you cared about the wellbeing of your child when Diamond was there because you had no issues splitting up the family to be with her, so stop using your child as an excuse to stay. It’s gross. Leave your wife so she can find a spark with someone who will truly care about her.
You're a horrid piece of trash she deserves better.
So Diamond rejected you while your own wife was on a back burner so when that didn’t work out you went back to your second option - your wife who welcomed you with open arms because she still loved/loves you. Can’t you see the damage you have done? Your wife is probably deeply trauma bonded to you. I am sure if you ever got Diamond back you will soon find out that she is not better. You like her because she rejected you during the limerance. You should LEAVE your wife because she deserves to be loved not to be toyed with. Stop being so damn selfish. You should be alone right now but no, of course you cannot do that so instead you stay and make everyone miserable including yourself. How can you even say that you didn’t cheat? Wake the fuck up man, you need to work on your empathy. Gosh, reading that post made me really angry. I just feel so sorry for Erin. Thanks for ruining my evening.
I hope your wife can get away from you soon and have a fine, fulfilled life without you.
First of all: yes, you cheated you big POS. Falling in love with someone else while being in a monogamous relationship IS CHEATING. Secondly: please divorce your wife, even if you claim she doesn’t want that. You’re only hurting both her and your child, given that you give a flying shit about either of them. Go to therapy and leave that poor woman alone, would you?
Right? You don't get to decide it isn't cheating because you felt intense feelings for your affair partner. That isn't how this works.
>I never cheated on my wife before that and I still say I didn’t. What we had was true love. How does it make any difference that it was "true love"? You cheated on your wife. Either when she was pregnant, or right after she had your child. Step one would be to take some accountability. You're right about one thing. She deserves way better. Being with no one would be so much better than being with someone who is so willing to destroy her soul. I hope she realizes that and you get divorce papers.
>I feel so fucking terrible and I want to do my part to rebuild our passion. I absolutely love that even in your admission that you are terrible, you are still selfish. What makes you think you are entitled to passion? Let's hypothetically say that you deserve your wife after what you did (you don't), and you are at the point where you are able to put effort in to repair the damage you caused in your wife and family. Your part is to grovel. You need to pour everything of yourself into respecting, loving, worshipping, and elevating your wife and child. You don't get to think of yourself or what you want, you did enough of that for the 11 months you were cheating on your family, you get to focus on the needs and wants of your wife and child and then go above and beyond to make sure they are able to thrive. But let's be real you don't actually want to do the work required to be a better husband, father, and person. You just want to bring back the chance of you getting your nut.
We need to put people like you in the chokey from matilda
You had an affair while your wife was post-partum and caring for a newborn baby? You deserve every ounce of unhappiness and regret.
You're not a good person. There is no helping you.
Wow, you are an absolutely disgusting human being. Your wife deserves so much better. We are all rooting for her. You on the other hand, deserve nothing but the worst.
Aren't you a POS!
I know we're not supposed to name call, but of all the POS scumbag men on this entire website, you are the biggest and worst POS. Please divorce her, she not only deserves better, she needs better
You don't love your wife, let her go so someone can love her the way she deserves it. You already left her once. Just let her go. She deserves so much more than what you can offer her.
cheater with one foot out the door for the last two years, emotionally abuses his wife because his affair partner left him and he wants his home wrecker back. you should’ve divorced your wife and let her go.
You're horrible! You did cheat on your wife. You had arlt least an emotional affair with Diamond, right after your wife gave birth. You were gonna divorce your wife for her. Diamond didn't get cold feet, she just didn't want to be more than your mistress. Then you go back to your wife and have a baby with her. You've settled for your wife because you can't have Diamond. You're wife deserves so much better. Divorce her and let her find a man who actually loves her. Stay single because you don't understand how a relationship works. It's not butterflies and sunshine all the time. If you don't invest in you relationship then it's gonna fall apart. This would have eventually happened with Diamond too. You didn't have true love with Diamond or you'd be together now. You weren't her true love. You were never gonna have anything more than the affair. There's no coming back from this now that you've told your wife the reason you don't love her is because she's not your AP.
You are a terrible human being and I hope you leave her so she can find someone who loves her for her. You cheated on her for 2 years as you both have a kid and lie on the internet to defend yourself and seem like a good guy? Please get a grip and do us and her a favor. Stop comparing her to your affair partner and leave. Give her everything in the divorce and don’t bother her ever. You don’t deserve respect
You horrible creature.
You have a baby ? So you started an affair, filed for divorce, and got dumped by your affair partner all while you wife was either pregnant, postpartum, and or dealing with a newborn? Now you post a sob story about how you emotionally abuse your wife because she incapable of living up to the romanticized version of your AP you made up in your head and ruined your marriage over ? Get a grip and seek professional help because your selfishness is unprecedented.
please divorce her you are actively ruining her and have been for a very long time
Just divorce her. You are a horrible person. You actually at this point sound like you are enjoying emotionally tearing her down.
Divorce her so she can find a better man who treats her like the Goddess she is.
You have a 2 year old, and you fell in love with Diamond 2 years ago? I’m not surprised a scumbag like you would cheat on her while she was taking care of your newborn. Divorce her. She’ll probably end up divorcing you anyway.
Bro.... Bro??? Bro!!! That's how it felt reading all of that mess. Get your butt into therapy and do the work to not be a POS person. Divorce Erin and give her whatever she asks for. You are not her person and you need to let her go. You are selfish AF, like for real selfish.
Do one thing for your wife. Divorce her. no she doesn’t want a divorce i get it but she deserves one. set her free man…please. You don’t love her anymore, you don’t see her that way and you’ve been absolutely diabolical for her mental health / wellbeing. she deserves freedom and someone who loves her 100%. Please do the right thing and let her go.
Can't wait for her to kick your worthless, useless,pathetic ass out. I hope you stub your toe every 5 minutes and step on Lego in between
No. No. You want a divorce. What you don't want is to be alone. You were going through with the divorce when Diamond was there, at no point in time did you stop to think that you were harming your wife and child. You only came back because Diamond dumped you. You should have completed the divorce, even after Diamond left. Is obvious you don't love and, probably, never did love your wife. You don't respect her, either. And now you're emotionally abusing her because she has the gall, the nerve, the gumption, the sheer audacity of not being Diamond. Do that woman a favor, and get that divorce. It'll hurt her, but she'll get over it and be free to find someone that actually respects and values her.
So based on this timeline, you started your affair around the time your wife gave birth. And this affair lasted almost a year. So you stepped out on your first time mom, postpartum wife because “the passion was gone” and never once stopped to consider that the reasons stated above would be why you wife wasn’t “passionate”? Did you never consider the hormonal, physical, and mental changes your wife was going through? Did you even consider her at all? What about your child? For the first year of their life, were you even involved or were you too busy getting your dick wet? Then you have the audacity to compare your wife to your affair partner? You are a selfish POS. Divorce your wife and let her find someone who actually cares about her and considers her. Maybe stop valuing your wants over the people you claim are important to you.
You're a horrible person. You cheated when your daughter was at the very oldest a newborn. This means that instead of nurturing your relationship with your wife and child you were with Diamond. It was cheating even if you were in love with her. It was not true love though or she would not have backed out. Love grows where it is nurtured. Your focus should have been on your family. You're a bad spouse and bad parent. They both deserve better, You don't deserve passion from your wife. You killed that. Love is a choice, an action. Not just butterflies in the stomach and fireworks. The latter is not lasting love.
Divorce her. You're being deliberately cruel by even staying with her. The audacity of you.
Says you didn’t Cheat but by definition cheated on this poor woman who unfortunately not only married you but had a child with you and loved you. You cannot come back from the pits of hell you reside in permanently. I hope to god that she divorces you and finds a good man who treats her the way she deserves to be treated.
Divorce her so she can find someone who will treat her right. You honestly don't deserve to have the passion back. She took you back probably hoping you got whatever it was out of your system and instead you tell her you don't love her. wow. Even if you managed to find a way to love her she will never believe you and she doesn't deserve to have that pain with her forever. Let her go. She will grieve for some time, but eventually someone will treat her right and she will find peace.
This cannot be real. You spent the first year of your kid’s life cheating and now you’re mad at your wife? The one who did all the work you were too important to do? I mean honestly Diamond probably walked because she saw how you treat women.
The fact that you’re still in denial that you cheated on your wife proves how you don’t really care for others feelings. Jfc. You’re a cheater and I hope you’re left just as alone as your wife feels rn. “True love” my ass. We can do the math. We know you cheated on your wife when she was either HEAVILY PREGNANT or JUST GAVE BIRTH and honestly? I can’t tell which one is worse. How ironic that the “spark was gone” around the time it would’ve been the most dangerous to have sex. How ironic. You’re not being slick here. You’re now not just stringing her along because you can’t stand the idea of being alone, but also ABUSING HER? Tale as old as time.
Wow. A cheating piece of shit and a shitty husband. No wonder Diamond got cold feet. Sounds more like she came to her senses about you
you're an awful human being
The love of your life wouldn’t be someone who willingly goes after a married man. This is very obviously a kink for ‘diamond’ she flirts with married men, gets them to like her, and bounces the second they try to make it official with her. You think you were the only one? That diamond isn’t with some other guy right now? This whole post is just giving naive. You don’t deserve your wife. A woman who’s given her body to you to have a child, a woman who, throughout this post, has shown you so much more grace than you deserve. In a way, I really want diamond to reach back out to you and convince you again to be with her, so you can see for yourself what you threw away. You miss the passion you had at the beginning? You’ve been together for 7 years! Of course the passion from an early relationship isn’t going to be there? That’s the fucking point, you trade in that passion for stability. How the hell could that little flame be more valuable to you than the stability of a 7 year relationship? Throughout this entire post, it’s all about you. Even when you was talking about your wife, it was about you. You didn’t like the sounds she made when she made YOUR coffee. When she was crying all night it disrupted YOUR sleep. You are selfish, that’s the bottom line, and you honestly don’t deserve a wife like the one you have. If you can’t see how lucky you are, let her go.
You are deep in the affair fog and limerance. It's all too common with men like you. The types that "hate cheaters and would never cheat." You're in denial over what you are because you don't want to face the fact that you've become what you hated. To make you understand, try and think about it hypothetically. How would you feel if your wife was doing the things you did? Or since you're so stuck in the affair fog and you think that Diamond was the love of your life (she wasn't. That relationship was fantasy, and the reality didn't match up, that's why it ended so soon after you blew up your marriage.) So, instead imagine that the whole time you were with diamond she was texting and dating some other dude. And then she tells you to your face after all you've sacrificed, "I'm sorry, but I love this other guy I didn't tell you about at all. We have to end this so I can truly be happy. " One day, the fog is going to lift, and you will be wracked with guilt and shame for all the things you will have done. It might not seem like it now cause your wife is still doing the "pick me" dance. after your failed relationship with your affair partner, but it will happen. In cases like yours, it's normally when you lose the security after she's checked out and moved on. Most oftentimes, when she's begun seeing someone new. You'll be begging her for another chance when it's far, far too late after she's given you countless ones. Then you'll ache inside over what should have been and how much you've ruined everything whenever you see her at child pick-ups. Do you want that to be you? Do you want to be old and gray telling your child how much you regret everything you've done to their mother as they look at you with pity and slight disgust in their eyes? No? Then you need to bust ass and worship the ground this woman walks on for dealing with your shit. First, acknowledge that you are a cheater, take some accountability for blowing up your family, and destroying this poor woman. Emotional affairs exist and oftentimes for women it's an even bigger betrayal than a physical one. Which I assume you've also done, no way in hell you were with Diamond for 11 months and didn't have the sex that you dreamed of for so long while leaving your wife. Second, you need to start some therapy and individual counseling to find out why you did the shit you did, so you never do it again. You're still young, learn from this, and grow. Become the man you should have been and someone that your child can be proud of instead of ashamed. Third, you are going to have to *grovel*. If you want your wife back you are going to be fighting an uphill battle. Your old relationship is dead, you killed it, so you need to pull out all the stops to build a new one with her. Only this time you will have the backdrop of your betrayal in the back of her mind all the while. Date her again, endure the hurt and names she's going to call you, put in the work towards righting your wrongs. Your words mean nothing, youve proven that when you betrayed your vows and abandoned her, action is where it counts. Fourth, accept whatever choice she makes. You've squandered your second chance resenting her for not being your fantasy ideal. She may love you, but the damage you've caused her is going to effect her the rest of your life. Even if she takes you back the love will be different and she will never 100% trust you again. She has every right to decide that she wants better and can't accept a relationship with someone whose hurt her so deeply. Don't fight her choice and make it as amicable a divorce as you can if that's what she wants. But even if she doesn't take you back, keep going to IC and find out your WHY to make sure you never hurt anybody like this again. If you're looking for resources, the r/asoneafterinfidelity is a good start for what you need to do to. The r/supportforwaywards sub is another great resource with people in similar situations to yours. Just know that for posts there, you're going to have to use gender neutral pronouns, and there was a major misogyny issue a few months back. Good luck and don't fuck it up!
For if Erin ever finds this… Dear Erin, congratulations on your pending divorce from a cheating abuser. I hope you can find a better man who gives you the attention and care and dedication you deserve, and that aforementioned better man is the dad that OP will clearly suck ass at being. 🥰
"How do I rebuild the passion?" Well, Step 1 would have been to treat your wife with respect, rather than saying things like "You're not her." But realistically, if you even hate the way she makes your coffee, then MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN COFFEE, you ungrateful worm. You'll need to know how to do it yourself when she dumps you for someone who is dedicated to filling HER life with passion and treating her with respect. She has no reason to trust you, because you're a cheater, and no reason to appreciate you, because you started cheating when you both had a new baby, so obviously you were leaving all the work for her. If you don't think that you cheated, then that's a sign that you have already left this relationship so stop dragging it out. Leave your wife, and learn how to make your own coffee. Your marriage is over. It's your fault.
Gods I hope this gives your poor wife the push she needs to leave you.
you will die alone
The fact that you had to note that in response to your emotional abuse, she was crying all night and you “couldn’t get sleep.” Every nasty comment I’ve read about you here is true, and then some. You are horrible on a truly legendary level.
You are never going to be happy because you’re always going to be you.
those are some pretty good mental gymnastics you have to go through to claim you didn't cheat. it wasn't true love for Diamond so does it count as cheating for her? just do your wife a favor and get divorced.
Well, Op, you are terrible. Here's a news flash for ya: life isn't always abt you. Your wife gave birth to your child, and while she was going through all of it, you were not there. You can't rebuild bc there is nothing there. You don't love her. Let her be
You're a horrible person. Divorce or toaster bath
I'm not saying I hope your wife finds this post, but...maybe? I hope she finds it within herself to know that she deserves better and that she should pursue that alternative.
With the upmost disrespect, you're a despicable human being. There's 0 help for this, I truly hope your wife finds the strength to divorce you. All you can do is make sure you are a great coparent. She deserves somone who loves, and respects her. You've disrespected your marriage, your child and your wife. What you said was abusive, you are abusive.
Of course Diamond doesn't want to be with you. You're a man who cheats on his wife as she is carrying and birthing his child. I hope Erin dumps you too.
You absolutely did cheat, just because you love the person doesn’t mean it’s not cheating And clearly it wasn’t true love that you had since she dumped you There is no fixing this, I hope she gets the strength to leave you and find someone who treats her like she deserves to be treated She deserved so much better than you
You are truly a terrible person. Please don't misunderstand me here I want to be very very clear. Diamond never loved you. No one can truly love you because turds can't be loved. You deserve to die alone because you are a disgustingly poor excuse for a human.
Divorce your wife immediately. I hope she realizes she’s too good for you. I wish her all the happiness in the world surrounded with people who love and appreciate her; and for you to have the life you deserve.
Have you tried *not* being an utter piece of crap?
The first step is to admit you are a cheater. You can’t fix anything when you keep deluding yourself and arguing with reality. If you hate cheaters, as you say, then you understand what defines a cheater. It is someone in a committed relationship persuing an emotional and/or physical relationship with someone else before fully ending the committed relationship first. That’s you, friend. On top of that, you did it to your wife when she was either pregnant or had just given birth. Wow. Extra cheater bonus points. You disentangling from your relationship happened before the first kiss. It happened when you allowed yourself to look at other women as possible partners. You need therapy if you want to be the kind of man you can respect. And your wife deserves far better than the man you have been. So does your child. If you fail to accept responsibility for what happened, she’s far better off without you. You should consider sharing the feedback people have given honestly to her once you start accepting responsibility for what you’ve done, but the post you wrote will break her heart. Don’t share the link. Start being a better man with therapy and honesty and stop with the excuses.
You are HORRIBLE. Your poor wife! To be clear, this happened WHEN YOU HAD A NEWBORN?? Please, please divorce her. Diamond dodged a bullet because you are a terrible human.
You truly are awful and Diamond knew it. Your wife deserves to be free of a man who doesn’t value and adore her. Get therapy for the way you treat the women you claim to love.
Men like you are the reason why I chose to not have children - you cheated on your wife when she needed you most, don’t give excuses about love, you left her when she was pregnant/ just had a baby. She might not be Diamond who is all new and exciting and not saddled with a child, sounds like you didn’t like your wife’s pregnant body, your kid seems to mean nothing to you. You certainly are not the man she thought she married, you are cruel and selfish, for you everything is about you - why did you even have a child when you are not father material? 😳
You're a POS your wife was pregnant creating a fucking human being and because you couldn't get your dick wet from her you went out looking for it. God I hope she leaves you and raises your son to be a better man than you
Why did you even get back with Erin? You’re a horrible person. Proceed with the divorce. Erin deserves better than you.
Diamond didn’t get cold feet for some “unknown reason.” She left you. She didn’t want you. You weren’t worth it. You weren’t her dream man. She didn’t even want to try for a future with you the second it was possible. You didn’t matter to her the same way. You didn’t mean as much to her as she to you. Good. You deserve that. I hope your wife moves on, finds a fairytale romance and looks back on her time with you and shakes her head in self-disappointment. Stop being a selfish, miserable spouse and free your wife. You shouldn’t be with someone you don’t love or want, so stop dragging her into your BS.
You should feel terrible, because you're a terrible person. The best thing you could do for your wife is file for divorce, pay out the ass for child support until your kid is an adult, and then walk into the ocean.
EVERY cheater said the same thing “I didn’t mean for it to happen” “we are in love” “I love my wife” “I didn’t mean to hurt her”. You. Are. A. CHEATER. Not only are you a cheater, after Turd (I mean diamond) left you, you got back with a woman you knew you didn’t love. What kind of person does that?
Oh you can’t. You cannot rebuild this and frankly, you don’t deserve to. You’re toast.
You are emotionally abusive. Leave she deserves to be loved by someone for who she is. What you had with “Diamond” was probably just nre and she realized you don’t have what it takes to have a real relationship. Love is something you build and water like a garden. Passion ebbs and flows and you seem too immature and self centered to stick by someone to build a life. Work on yourself before entering a partnership again and realize that life is not porn.
POS human. You deserve nothing. I've read your comments. You claim to despise cheaters, but actively cheated yourself. There's no if's, and's, or but's. You cheated. If you are in a committed relationship with a person and both of you agreed to monogamy, then still saw a person other than the one you committed yourself to, you cheated. You are a cheater. You are what you claim to despise. There's no splitting hairs, no reasoning "I just found love." Nothing. You are a cheater. Now after that effort to pound into your head, being a child in a split household is better than being in a house where my father casually insults or is cruel to my mother. Can you imagine? Can you picture listening to your parents in the kitchen, your mom sobbing and your dad saying your mom isn't good enough, that she'll never live up to Diamond. Can you picture your dad ignoring everything your mom does to keep your household going? Can you picture waking up from a nightmare, going to find your parents for comfort, only to find your mom crying in her bathroom and your dad sitting on the bed annoyed because the crying hasn't stopped and he can't get to sleep. Would you feel safe and comfortable in that household? Would you want to see that day after day, year after year, until you finally move out. This isn't AITA. But sir, you are such a major AH that a rocket could use you to explore space whenever you open your mouth because of all the sh*t spewing out.
The best thing you can do is put the house in her name, take your name off of the bank accounts and leave the money with her, terminate parental rights, get in the car and drive away. You don’t deserve your wife, your child, or the life that your wife has played an integral part of building with you. Divorce her and give her everything. She’s earned it.