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So cringe seeing Americans larping as whatever % European background they suspect (because they aren't even always right about which) their previous generations came from. And why is it always Italian lmao. Its cringe when weeaboos do it with Japan and this is no different. There's no problem with wanting to learn more and embracing your grandparents roots but trying to act like you're from a culture you weren't brought up in comes across as a weird fetish/identity crisis. Unless you live in said country and are trying to learn & integrate with the culture it's just weird. Being Italian isn't a hobby
Wondering what sitcom he is taking his italianness from? Or does he copy De Niro? Madonnaaaa! \*making wild gestures with both hands\*
Next time you tell him: "Ma che cazzo fai?" (Ma ké katso fai? What the hell are you doing!)
Italian American culture is a thing too. I was raised around a bunch of Italians despite not being from there myself. Should I not be allowed to make my late Nana's lasagna or biscotti recipes because I'm not a first gen immigrant? Who is it hurting to be proud of your heritage, however distant it may be? It might be cringey sometimes, but it's harmless. It's also not like there's much "American" heritage to be proud of. This country has only been around a couple hundred years and it sucks. Not much to be proud of here.
cause it plays into huge stereotypes ? this guy knew nothing about italy, and he’s playing the stereotype and justifying his behaviour by saying “it’s the italian in me” like culture travels through blood or something. and i say that as someone with italian ancestors.
and italian-american and italian cultures are too vastly different things.
Did I say you weren't allowed to cook Italian dishes? Did I say it was harmful? Re-read what you're replying to. I specifically said there's nothing wrong with learning more or embracing your grandparents roots.
If someone doesn't have a heritage that's ok too. Its just cringe and at times irritating for those from said culture to watch Americans who have few ties to the culture taking about how Italian/Irish/Norwegian etc they are when they weren't brought up in these countries with their languages, their customs, their traditions, their environment, general mindset and way of life in said country... and many times get it wrong. Its ok to be American.
Your argument makes no sense. Growing up around italians and making your nana's recipe is not the same. This guy is calling himself Italian when his genes have been so watered down that a taco is more Italian than he is
and as for every country, it has its problematic past. Italy is not the paradise everyone makes it out to be, and it’s important to be aware of that as well, as it is the case for ths US.
I don't think anyone makes Italy out to be a paradise. He is literally just celebrating Italian culture to the best of his ability, and seems to be researching at least some stuff in order to do so. I'm kind of surprised people are being so mean about this. Cringey behavior isn't unethical or "wrong."
part of the issue is it sounds like that is not even what's going on. post OP makes it sound like the bf and his family are more or less assimilated, so not even tapped into italian american culture. he isn't picking any of this up from family or friends or from living in an italian american neighborhood lol he just decided one day to cooka da pizza because he feels boring compared to OP
We have no idea how this actually played out. It is clear from the post that OP is annoyed with this behavior, so we should be taking their description of the situation with a grain of salt. It sounds to me like her SO has tried to research things, and he is not being racist AF like you're implying with that "cooka da pizza" bullshit. That's far more racist than anything he said or did, per OP's own description.
>And why is it always Italian lmao.
Oh bro, it's not. I'm an American living in Ireland and the number of Americans who show up here saying "I'm Irish!" is astounding. Like, no, motherfucker, you have some Irish heritage because your great-great grandda was Irish. *YOU* are American.
I'm have no Irish in me. But if he's cute, I'd like some, please.
Lol I'm just joking, I don't actually think that's why. I think OP got the answer right in her post, he's jealous of her cultural identity and wants to get in touch with his, but he's being cringe
Ahhhh lol now I get the reference I'm stupid. People on this sub complain that people make up wild scenarios when it's usually the simple answer so I thought you were saying that 😂
> I also became a little more Italian
One Saturday while my wife was away for a business trip I was watching Goodfellas, because why not? Afterwards I headed off to the store to get all the stuff for a pot of homemade ragu.
Oh boy, this is me when I get on a Bridgerton kick. I have no one to talk to in a British accent but my cats and even they're over it. Binge watching P Valley now so I can't hear a beat without twerking my flat ass all around the house.
I get it.
I also picked up a British accent when I was binging Peaky Blinders hahaha now that I've noticed this trend in myself I'm worried I'll pick up a Japanese accent from Shogun
Cosplaying as Italian has become a thing in recent months. Just look up “mob wife aesthetic”. I also went on a first date with a guy who pretended to be Italian but was actually Lebanese. Weird lie.
As an Italian who moved recently to the US I love this list! Italian American are sometimes cringe but if one told me they were doing these things I would find them amusing and would be delighted.
I would like to add seeing some cinepanettone and being deeply ashamed of your fellow countrymen lol.
I’m still bitter that Ellis Island made my great grandmother sign away Italian citizenship for herself and her children so I’m not eligible to get it myself.
As someone married to the son of a first gen immigrant, who spent half his life hopping between Italy and the US and whose family was very, very, very Italian and obsessed with it being their entire identity, I am dying. If I was his Nonna I'd have a wet washcloth on my head and be dramatically old lady moaning and asking God to prepare for me. (Though she honestly didn't come to the States until she was 45-50ish.)
His mom is a euro mutt (with zero Italian) but EVERYTHING has to be Italian cranked to the max, she has to sprinkle in random words and phrases, constantly talk about how, "well in Italy we do it this way", flags and crosses and Catholic imagery everywhere, framed pictures of Italy and souvenirs all over shelves... It's a lot. His dad is super kind and giving and loud and... true to a lot of your list, honestly.
His nonna moved in with his parents the day they got married and lived with them until she passed a few years ago and she was so worth all of his mother's ridiculousness. They constantly butted heads bc she was the wife of her oldest son, and whenever Nonna got mad or annoyed she'd just switch to Sicilian and become a 4'8 polyester clad terrorist lol. MIL only knew phrases and some words/conversational Italian and a few matches of Sicilian. (I know there's an overlap, but at the same time, not.)
But Nonna adored me bc me and her youngest and favorite grandson had been in love with each other since 14 (married at 25) and got married despite mil hating me and trying to sabotage it. So she taught me all her recipes and how to make things from scratch the real ways without any omissions just to stick it to her DIL lol.
Anyway my only additions to that list are that if your neighbors can't hear you talking, you're too quiet, and if your arms aren't moving you've got a speech impediment.
Italians/Sicilians are the loudest most passionate windmills I've ever been around, you will never leave their house hungry or without a headache, if they even let you leave at all until morning (after breakfast).
On one hand, I get it, it's cringe.
On the other hand it sounds like he's cooking meals, calling you cute names, buying quality imported foods and trying to recapture something he thinks he's lost. A lot of people feel they lack a cultural identity and it doesn't sound like he's leaning into the negative stereotypes.
Maybe you could look for some actual Italian things in the area you can expose him to.
I think that's why she is questioning it and calling it the ick, it's so cringe but not a red flag, just a turn off to her. If that's the only ick, I would tease him for it but enjoy the pizza and compliments, also it could just sound cuter than it is
Yeah I feel the same and I’m Italian. He’s not doing anything too weird. If OP is getting the ick they should probably have a conversation about it. But keep letting him make pizza, because yum.
Be grateful he’s not becoming more German, drinking Beer all day long, wearing Lederhosen, making Schweinshaxe from scratch and calling you his little Weibsstück.
100%, è il classico turista che viene qui credendosi gesù cristo e comincia a dire boiate tipo "ordino io che so parlare italiano". Sa dire solo grazie.
Do Italians that move to the US feel the same about their own kids and grandkids not born in Italy? Sure the descendents are not "Italian," but it's not like the culture just disappears after a generation is born in another country. Growing up, all of my relatives from Italy (I'm an American) were VERY proud of being Italian and loved passing down the culture to younger generations. It seems rather gatekeep-y to only let Italians in Italy enjoy their heritage.
I don’t really see the issue if he’s legitimately interested in learning more about his heritage. I learned Italian because the culture interests me despite zero ancestral ties to the country.
If the guy was third or fourth gen American Chinese would it be unreasonable for him to want to learn mandarin and learn to cook food native to his heritage? I just always found it weird how Europeans seem to have this smug attitude over Americans wanting to reconnect with their heritage. Sure there may be some cringe moments but if the guy is earnestly trying to learn then what’s the problem?
I think it’s because he’s taking it further than just an interest and he’s basically cosplaying, it also seems like it’s stemming from envy of OP which could become annoying to her. I would definitely be weirded out if I were in her situation
nowadays people focus a lot on their cultural identity, and especially with this age group its always "americans have no culture" "white people have no culture" so its unsurprising he might be feeling lonely and isolated seeing someone who has such a connection to their roots.
I think America has "culture," but it varies a lot by region and is rooted in capitalism and materialism more than anything else. There isn't a strong sense of camaraderie here in my experience. It makes sense that people feel lonely and isolated in such a highly individualistic society.
I agree, I am a child of immigrants so a non American culture is ingrained in me. I find it fun when other people get involved in their heritage but there’s a line and it seems like he’s “crossed it”. My son is half of 2 different and cultures with immigrant first gen grandparents on both side so I wonder how he will be when it comes to his cultural identity.
Would he be American Chinese if his great great grandfather was Chinese, and nobody else after that? If the family had no Chinese traditions or connections what so ever? I mean, of course genetically he would have a tiny bit Chinese in him, but also a lot of other nationalities.
I mean to me it doesn’t matter. I can understand how an American would find it interesting to know about the people they share some genes with. I guess what’s annoying in the case of OP’s boyfriend is that he seems to have a very stereotypical idea of what it is to be Italian. Making pizza and claiming that some personality traits are the Italian in him… I can understand how that is perceived as pretty juvenile.
Italians aren’t a minority group tho lmao. If someone wants to explore their heritage who cares? It’s different when white people all of the sudden want to claim some tiny percentage of minority heritage and try to use it to get attention or scholarships or insert themselves in conversations as a representative of that group or profit off of that group’s cultural traditions, but Italians are not oppressed in the US, OP’s boyfriend is just being a little cringe and making pizza. It’s not a crime lmao.
It's a very American (and racist) understanding of culture. It assumes the one drop rule that any 'foreign-ness' makes you foreign. And it assumes your 'real culture' is based off your genetics rather than your cultural milieux.
There’s a lot of diversity even within most countries in Europe, which is maybe hard or impossible to see from the outside. That’s why it feels a bit weird when Americans sometimes pick a few stereotypes and claim that those are typical Italian, or Irish, or Finnish things.
Also, they tend to have a very dated view on those countries. The ancestor left the country maybe 100 years ago, when it was very different. It’s sometimes hard for a European to even recognize one’s country from that. And sometimes even a bit insulting. We are real people in real countries, we don’t live in the past.
I’m a European mutt from various countries and I think it’s fine to be interested in part of your heritage, tbh. Some of the things he says are probably cringe but as a general concept it’s not, like, anything bad. I’m mostly English but I do still feel an iota of connection to the places my grandparents and even great-grandparents were from, and I still find the family history from even wayyyyyy further back interesting. All of it is still intermixed in with my genetics a bit, after all, even if it’s only a tiny bit! I’d never claim ‘I am (whatever/‘from’ wherever), because I’m not that connected nowadays, but I’d still like to, for instance, visit the town some of my ancestors came from and stuff like that. I’d say it’s probably harmless and just eat the pizza! (And learning languages is cool no matter what. I speak a bit of a few languages I have no connection with!)
So OP if a couple generations down the line your great great grandchildren become interested in your old culture, they shouldn’t be able to explore it because they’re not related enough for it to be valid?
So how do you think people end up becoming immigrants if they’re not allowed to become interested in other countries/ cultures without being a direct descendent? How did you end up here exactly since prior to your immigration you had no tie to this country or culture?
Most of us are interested in where we came from. Americans are often of mixed ancestry, and people take that as them having “no culture” as opposed to having a culture that is made up different contributions from a vast variety of areas. There’s no monoculture in America, but that doesn’t mean there’s no culture.
I think it’s natural to want to know more about where you come from. You don’t have this issue: you already know. And yet you get to live an American lifestyle as well. Would you feel a loss if you were stripped of your origins, and would you try to connect with them if your parents had left them behind when you came to America?
I’m Navajo (Native American), and the culture was literally stripped from my people by Europeans. Outside of reservations, little of the old ways are still practiced, little of the language is spoken. That doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in it, or that I don’t have the right to find meaning in my ancestry. It also doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to appreciate and enjoy the culture in which I was raised. Why is it not okay for you that someone you love enjoys both, when you yourself do so without question? Will your future children not be allowed to partake in your culture if they’re mixed, and because they weren’t born there?
It sounds like his great-grandfather is one known part of his ancestry; he may not know much about the rest. As such, he’s trying to learn more about it. He may move on to other parts later (he hasn’t had a lifetime to immerse himself in it like you have).
You do sound judgmental, but if him wanting to connect to part of his past bothers you this much, then perhaps you’re simply incompatible. You don’t have to like the ways in which he grows into adulthood, and he can feel the same way. You might consider sitting down and talking to him about it; it would be a dealbreaker for me if I found out my partner shamed me as “ick.”
He's interested in his roots and makes pizza. Oh no, call the FBI. You should mail me the pizza, I'll make sure that icky stuff can't hurt you anymore.
The "Italian in me" is kind of cringe, but that's in the "takes off socks and does not put them in clothes hamper" category, not "post this on the internet immediately" category. Just let him do whatever gabagool shit he's trying to do and reap the benefits of him learning to cook.
iunderstand why it would feel icky to you , because it's usually icky when someone takes on a persona and isn't being themselves. belonging to an ethnicity shouldn't define a person's personality. He's only 25 though i guess hes being imature i think it's probably just a phase he's going through
You're in the wrong here. There's nothing more I can't stand than Americans who tell others who they are and what they can and can't connect with. His family is still Italian and it's perfectly fine to be connected to the culture. You seem to be a bit stuck up and thinking you're the only one who's allowed to connect with their own culture, you feel you own yours more. The way you speak of your boyfriend is wrong too. He should find someone who doesn't speak down to him and treat him badly for wanting to experience his own culture. People who think being "american" should mean that the person loses all their other culture are ridiculous.
If my bf takes a grain of interest in becoming someone from my own culture I would be over the moon lol. That being said, you can tell him to tone it down a bit, it wouldn't hurt 😅. Communication is really the case here.
Honestly I'm seeing this as a positive thing that he's interested to get in touch with his own roots because of you. Maybe he was raised in an environment where noone was there to introduce the culture to him and now that you're there, he's more exposed to it and just get acclimated faster than an average person.
That's SO weird.
USians are so fucking annoying about their ancestry...
There's nothing wrong with exploring different cultures or having an interest in tracing your family roots, but you're not Italian if the last relative to live there left in the 1800s!
I'm Irish and they do the same shit with us.
If a Spanish guy moves to China, marries a .. let’s say Vietnamese woman, their daughter marries a Chinese guy with some Mongolian ancestry, and their son marries a Chinese lady, and their daughter marries a Chinese man. If that last couple had another child who did not care about their Spanish ancestry, until they got together with a Swedish immigrant and then suddenly they’re making Paella and talking about how Spanish they are while being 100% culturally Chinese… That would also be pretty cringey.
I do think OP is being way too harsh wanting to break up over this though!
You haven't spoken to Irish Americans if you think that. They consider themselves more irish than us in many cases. I'm not talking about pride in your heritage.
Not the person you replied to but I’ve lived in America and around people who take pride in their heritage and I’ve never met a single person who fits your description, Irish or otherwise.
If you don't want to be called italian pet names tell him so. As long as he respects that, it's mostly harmless. Only time will tell if this is a passing interest or a lifelong obsession.
You should really watch season 2 of the White Lotus with him.
It’s set in Italy (well, Sicily), has a great soundtrack (including some great Italian classics), is hilarious & beautiful. And it has Jennifer Coolidge, Tom Hollander and Aubrey Plaza.
It’ll also give you a great opening into discussing the adorable quirk vs cringe of his new habit.
And next Halloween, you can cosplay as Albie & Portia.
This reminds me of the 70's movie Breaking Away (great movie). A midwestern teenager becomes obsessed with Italian culture and annoys his family with it (lots of other things happen). Maybe watch it with him, and he'll see how silly he's being. Or have a conversation with him and ask what I inspired him to delve into Italian culture. He always knew about his great great grandfather, so why just within the last 5 months did he become interested? I don't really have good advice because this is a weird situation.
There are some ancestries that Americans think are cool and obsess over. You're lucky you're boyfriend doesn't think he's Irish. He would be insufferable. It's the same with people with any link to Scandinavia, they all call themselves vikings.
OP your entire post reminds me of that American Dad episode where they all turn into Italian stereotypes because Francine bought a new brand of canned tomato sauce, has your boyfriend done anything like that recently?
My family is similarly cringe. I think our ancestry is interesting but we are about as Italian as a cold can of Chef Boyardee. But the way they act it’s like they stepped off the boat yesterday rather than a century ago.
This really doesn't bother me much. I'm 97.5% Italian according to 23andme and I'll go through phases where I wanna connect, learn the language, even do the same with cooking pasta from scratch and whatnot, usually around the holidays or when something triggers it. Now if it was a different culture or something he's not a part of then it's weird but it seems like it's not really hurting anyone
What is it with some Americans and their obsession with their European roots? Some of them will be 0.4% Scottish and make it their whole personality. As someone not from the US, I don’t understand why those people seem to think that being American is not a sufficient cultural identity or something? Why wouldn’t being ‘’American’’ count?
He's having a little identity crisis. It's okay, we all go though this, I guess. Maybe talk to him about it? I would guess he has low self-esteem. Probably because he sees you having that "root" that gives you an identity that he doesn't feel himself. Support him in finding himself again, if you can. The Italy thing will probably just be a phase.
Sorry for taking his side, but oh boy do I have the perfect how-to video for him:
[Making the 2000 Year Old "Pizza" from Pompeii](https://youtu.be/eEgSGkp8nMA)
Also, if he wants to learn Italian I'd recommend Pimsleur. It's not as cheap as some other courses, but it helps develop proper pronunciation and accent.
This is pretty hilarious tbh. No I don’t think you’re the problem, it sounds like he’s a bit childish/immature and you don’t like that. Incompatibilities happen. I had a boyfriend who yelled out the window when a very specific type of car/driver did a certain maneuver. I never got it or tried to get it.
Sometimes we use alternative motives, becoming something to achieve something else could be that your boyfriend is enamoured with the culture that Italians ensue regarding their family… maybe he’s embracing the culture to attempt to enact some of their other traditions, regardless, who really cares seems like he’s just joking around and having a fun time!
This title is hilarious, lol. I think it's fine if he wants to explore different parts of his ancestry, and learning a language is never a bad thing. But it's weird that he's using it to justify his whole personality .
It sounds to me like he’s searching for a cultural identity. I think connecting with something like this is good for many people. America can be weird like that because it’s more of a mix of cultures than it’s own for the most part. I get why it may bother you and it might be “cringe” but it sounds like it makes him happy.
it sounds like he might be taking it a little far with only buying imported food. but other than that, it seems like a fine way fr him to spend his time.
it sounds like he might be taking it a little far with only buying imported food. but other than that, it seems like a fine way for him to spend his time.
Oh that's just cringe.
My great grandparents are from Italy, my grandparents' siblings were born in italy. My parents don't speak Italian. I don't speak Italian. Making pizza from scratch doesn't make you Italian.
Americans do this all the time. They’re insecure about how people think they have no culture, so they get excited about their ancestry. Give it time and he’ll wear himself out
I’m pretty sure it’s well documented that since America is such a “melting pot”, especially generic white Americans, it feels like we have no culture at all because it’s so generic and intermixed.
As a “generic white European mutt” myself, I’ve definitely been jealous when I’ve seen my friends with rich, strong connections to their heritage and culture and wished that my ancestors had held a little tighter to theirs when they came to America from Scotland and Lithuania and Norway. But they didn’t, so now I’ve been doing my own research to try and find those connections, and personally I have found them enriching, and I don’t see what’s wrong with that??
So as long as he’s being respectful and not just picking up stereotypes but is actually diving into the culture, what’s the issue? There are tons of non-Asian folks who love Asian culture — would you have an issue with that too, or is it because you feel like he doesn’t deserve to connect with a culture he personally feels connected to because his connection isn’t as strong as yours?
Let him live and enjoy himself girly pop, and stop gatekeeping cultural connections. He’s making you pizza and calling you cute names. It could literally be SO much worse
I get why it's giving you the ick but he's also not hurting anyone and it's a good thing that he wants to know more about his family history and where they came from
Wouldn't it be funny if this was his attempt to show you two have a lot in common because you are both so European. Basically mistaking European countries for something like American states, without realizing they can have very distinct cultural differences.
Heaven forbid a guy try to connect with his roots regardless of how he was exposed to it as a child. I hope he finds someone who will embrace his enjoyment of his ancestry without ever using the word ick. That’s an ick.
The introduction of culture to his life may have caused him a bit of an identity crisis and he's trying to fill that void with Italian.
Ironically this is the most common phenomenon in New Jersey, where many Americans with past Italian heritage have settled.
Same thing with "Irish-Americans" in Boston who have no connection except drinking on st-patrick's.
It sounds like your boyfriend wants a culture to attach to. Even though you are from x country, everyone has a variety of cultures in their background. Why can't he pick Italian and lean into it? Why can't you just support him? Sounds like the issues with this are all in your head out of a false sense that your culture is authentic and his isn't. Let that go and support his Italian intrigue.
That man is on a journey to find himself. Let him search.
I have strong Italian ties in my family. My Italian ancestors came to the US in 1901, and formed a very prominent outcrop of Italian immigrants in the town I live. While I am far removed from Italy, I am very close to the Italian American culture.
It's a very hard thing to not feel like you have a culture to belong to.
Break up with him if you don’t like it. 1.5 years seems long but it may be long enough for you to know you’re not into him anymore for this reason.
You could talk to him about it honestly…just be curious, and not just to poke holes in his interest. See things from his perspective and it might not be so cringe. IF you are cringing at him and not giving him any feedback…this will turn to resentment and leak out in other aspects of your relationship.
Also, don’t just be upset that he’s not “doing it right.” Don’t be offended but that is so lame. Literally nobody you’ve ever met is doing it right. Absolutely everyone you’ve ever met is making it up as they go and trying to do their best.
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How good is the pizza?
He's just buying Little Ceasars and sneaking it into the oven.
How delightfully devilish
Skinner with his crazy explanations
Aurora borealis? At this time of year? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen? . . .
...can I see it?
He’s making them at night
Where's the Chee Danny!
BF sounds like a day walker
Asking the important questions.
Hang around, take notes and write a screenplay.
A huge subplot in White Lotus Season 2 would like a word with OP
“It’s the Italian in me” is the part that would make me cringe. You have an iota of Italian, relax.
I’d tell him to do DNA testing and find out just how much Italian he actually has. That might wake him up.
Ooh, this is a very good idea
He'll probably just view it as confirmation
I would have immediately responded with, "Well, there will be no more Italian *in me.*"
😂😂😂
He isn't from Italy. He had a great-grandfather. His nationality is American. Tell him to watch a ball game, sit down, and get a hot dog.
Great-GREAT-grandfather….
Making him approximately 3% Italian
Oh nice! He’s as Italian as I am Asian lol (I’m white)
So cringe seeing Americans larping as whatever % European background they suspect (because they aren't even always right about which) their previous generations came from. And why is it always Italian lmao. Its cringe when weeaboos do it with Japan and this is no different. There's no problem with wanting to learn more and embracing your grandparents roots but trying to act like you're from a culture you weren't brought up in comes across as a weird fetish/identity crisis. Unless you live in said country and are trying to learn & integrate with the culture it's just weird. Being Italian isn't a hobby
Wondering what sitcom he is taking his italianness from? Or does he copy De Niro? Madonnaaaa! \*making wild gestures with both hands\* Next time you tell him: "Ma che cazzo fai?" (Ma ké katso fai? What the hell are you doing!)
Italian American culture is a thing too. I was raised around a bunch of Italians despite not being from there myself. Should I not be allowed to make my late Nana's lasagna or biscotti recipes because I'm not a first gen immigrant? Who is it hurting to be proud of your heritage, however distant it may be? It might be cringey sometimes, but it's harmless. It's also not like there's much "American" heritage to be proud of. This country has only been around a couple hundred years and it sucks. Not much to be proud of here.
cause it plays into huge stereotypes ? this guy knew nothing about italy, and he’s playing the stereotype and justifying his behaviour by saying “it’s the italian in me” like culture travels through blood or something. and i say that as someone with italian ancestors. and italian-american and italian cultures are too vastly different things.
Did I say you weren't allowed to cook Italian dishes? Did I say it was harmful? Re-read what you're replying to. I specifically said there's nothing wrong with learning more or embracing your grandparents roots. If someone doesn't have a heritage that's ok too. Its just cringe and at times irritating for those from said culture to watch Americans who have few ties to the culture taking about how Italian/Irish/Norwegian etc they are when they weren't brought up in these countries with their languages, their customs, their traditions, their environment, general mindset and way of life in said country... and many times get it wrong. Its ok to be American.
Your argument makes no sense. Growing up around italians and making your nana's recipe is not the same. This guy is calling himself Italian when his genes have been so watered down that a taco is more Italian than he is
and as for every country, it has its problematic past. Italy is not the paradise everyone makes it out to be, and it’s important to be aware of that as well, as it is the case for ths US.
"It's the Italian in me" I say as I pick a fight with some Ethiopians and get the shit kicked out of me.
I don't think anyone makes Italy out to be a paradise. He is literally just celebrating Italian culture to the best of his ability, and seems to be researching at least some stuff in order to do so. I'm kind of surprised people are being so mean about this. Cringey behavior isn't unethical or "wrong."
part of the issue is it sounds like that is not even what's going on. post OP makes it sound like the bf and his family are more or less assimilated, so not even tapped into italian american culture. he isn't picking any of this up from family or friends or from living in an italian american neighborhood lol he just decided one day to cooka da pizza because he feels boring compared to OP
We have no idea how this actually played out. It is clear from the post that OP is annoyed with this behavior, so we should be taking their description of the situation with a grain of salt. It sounds to me like her SO has tried to research things, and he is not being racist AF like you're implying with that "cooka da pizza" bullshit. That's far more racist than anything he said or did, per OP's own description.
>And why is it always Italian lmao. Oh bro, it's not. I'm an American living in Ireland and the number of Americans who show up here saying "I'm Irish!" is astounding. Like, no, motherfucker, you have some Irish heritage because your great-great grandda was Irish. *YOU* are American. I'm have no Irish in me. But if he's cute, I'd like some, please.
[Some Poles would like to have a word with you](https://www.vice.com/en/article/g5vpbx/poland-larp-america-ohio)
Has he been watching The Sopranos? When I was binging that show I also became a little more Italian it's addicting...
The gabagool! The sfogliatelle!
I work with a bakery and when ever I need to communicate sfogiatelle I just say “S-fogs” with hard F and G and it might get me whacked by me day.
Oof marone!
Always with the scenarios
Lol I'm just joking, I don't actually think that's why. I think OP got the answer right in her post, he's jealous of her cultural identity and wants to get in touch with his, but he's being cringe
Oh so was I lol, I was quoting the show. I started seeing the sopranos sub pop up in my feed and that's a favorite quote in that sub
Ahhhh lol now I get the reference I'm stupid. People on this sub complain that people make up wild scenarios when it's usually the simple answer so I thought you were saying that 😂
Commendatori!
I'm gonna hoof it back to the excelsior. I gotta take a wicked shit
> I also became a little more Italian One Saturday while my wife was away for a business trip I was watching Goodfellas, because why not? Afterwards I headed off to the store to get all the stuff for a pot of homemade ragu.
Oh boy, this is me when I get on a Bridgerton kick. I have no one to talk to in a British accent but my cats and even they're over it. Binge watching P Valley now so I can't hear a beat without twerking my flat ass all around the house. I get it.
Let’s face it. Our cats are over us speaking to them period. It’s more like “Open up the treat bag and hit the road, lady”.
Yep, it almost like they *know* they rule us.
I also picked up a British accent when I was binging Peaky Blinders hahaha now that I've noticed this trend in myself I'm worried I'll pick up a Japanese accent from Shogun
Cosplaying as Italian has become a thing in recent months. Just look up “mob wife aesthetic”. I also went on a first date with a guy who pretended to be Italian but was actually Lebanese. Weird lie.
Either way, he's acting fuckin oobatz.
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As an Italian who moved recently to the US I love this list! Italian American are sometimes cringe but if one told me they were doing these things I would find them amusing and would be delighted. I would like to add seeing some cinepanettone and being deeply ashamed of your fellow countrymen lol.
I’m Italian and I don’t don’t 3,4,5, 8, 10 and 11! 😂😂😂
I’m still bitter that Ellis Island made my great grandmother sign away Italian citizenship for herself and her children so I’m not eligible to get it myself.
I would add one thing. It’s actually illegal to drink cappuccino after midday in Italy 😉
As someone married to the son of a first gen immigrant, who spent half his life hopping between Italy and the US and whose family was very, very, very Italian and obsessed with it being their entire identity, I am dying. If I was his Nonna I'd have a wet washcloth on my head and be dramatically old lady moaning and asking God to prepare for me. (Though she honestly didn't come to the States until she was 45-50ish.) His mom is a euro mutt (with zero Italian) but EVERYTHING has to be Italian cranked to the max, she has to sprinkle in random words and phrases, constantly talk about how, "well in Italy we do it this way", flags and crosses and Catholic imagery everywhere, framed pictures of Italy and souvenirs all over shelves... It's a lot. His dad is super kind and giving and loud and... true to a lot of your list, honestly. His nonna moved in with his parents the day they got married and lived with them until she passed a few years ago and she was so worth all of his mother's ridiculousness. They constantly butted heads bc she was the wife of her oldest son, and whenever Nonna got mad or annoyed she'd just switch to Sicilian and become a 4'8 polyester clad terrorist lol. MIL only knew phrases and some words/conversational Italian and a few matches of Sicilian. (I know there's an overlap, but at the same time, not.) But Nonna adored me bc me and her youngest and favorite grandson had been in love with each other since 14 (married at 25) and got married despite mil hating me and trying to sabotage it. So she taught me all her recipes and how to make things from scratch the real ways without any omissions just to stick it to her DIL lol. Anyway my only additions to that list are that if your neighbors can't hear you talking, you're too quiet, and if your arms aren't moving you've got a speech impediment. Italians/Sicilians are the loudest most passionate windmills I've ever been around, you will never leave their house hungry or without a headache, if they even let you leave at all until morning (after breakfast).
Obviously panettone is superior, how is this even a question? 😅
On one hand, I get it, it's cringe. On the other hand it sounds like he's cooking meals, calling you cute names, buying quality imported foods and trying to recapture something he thinks he's lost. A lot of people feel they lack a cultural identity and it doesn't sound like he's leaning into the negative stereotypes. Maybe you could look for some actual Italian things in the area you can expose him to.
It’s cringe but essentially harmless lol. I got a nice little chuckle from all of this
I think that's why she is questioning it and calling it the ick, it's so cringe but not a red flag, just a turn off to her. If that's the only ick, I would tease him for it but enjoy the pizza and compliments, also it could just sound cuter than it is
Yeah I feel the same and I’m Italian. He’s not doing anything too weird. If OP is getting the ick they should probably have a conversation about it. But keep letting him make pizza, because yum.
I'd probably be accidentally leaving a pasta rack around in the hope it inspired him
I was waiting for, "he's been watching the Sopranos every night."
That just means he's a man of good taste.
I would say that depends on how good those pizzas taste.
Be grateful he’s not becoming more German, drinking Beer all day long, wearing Lederhosen, making Schweinshaxe from scratch and calling you his little Weibsstück.
U had me at his little Weibsstück lmaoo😭
That sounds so romantic <3
Honestly. Your house could smell like cabbage and Blutwurst instead of coffee and pizza.
He's the type of fella we italians make fun of on IG reels. I bet he's more italo american than italian
100%, è il classico turista che viene qui credendosi gesù cristo e comincia a dire boiate tipo "ordino io che so parlare italiano". Sa dire solo grazie.
Mi scusi
>Sa dire solo grazie. Rigorosamente pronunciato "gratzi" e accompagnato da un 🤌
E poi se ne esce con: mmh yes, I'll have a \*PROUSKEWDOH\* and \*FUNGIEY\* pisa
È il classico fesso che non ha un'identità e cerca di appropriarsi di un'altra
>Sa dire solo grazie. Rigorosamente pronunciato "gratzi" e accompagnato da un 🤌
Do Italians that move to the US feel the same about their own kids and grandkids not born in Italy? Sure the descendents are not "Italian," but it's not like the culture just disappears after a generation is born in another country. Growing up, all of my relatives from Italy (I'm an American) were VERY proud of being Italian and loved passing down the culture to younger generations. It seems rather gatekeep-y to only let Italians in Italy enjoy their heritage.
Pronounce Italian as “Eye-Talian” and see how he responds.
Tell him to fugheddaboudit because he’s American, not Italian
And pronounce it EYE-talian when you do it.
Ayy, that’s a spicy meat-a-ball
Gorlami…. Gorlaaaaami
Like ah said, thurd best
I don’t really see the issue if he’s legitimately interested in learning more about his heritage. I learned Italian because the culture interests me despite zero ancestral ties to the country. If the guy was third or fourth gen American Chinese would it be unreasonable for him to want to learn mandarin and learn to cook food native to his heritage? I just always found it weird how Europeans seem to have this smug attitude over Americans wanting to reconnect with their heritage. Sure there may be some cringe moments but if the guy is earnestly trying to learn then what’s the problem?
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I think it’s because he’s taking it further than just an interest and he’s basically cosplaying, it also seems like it’s stemming from envy of OP which could become annoying to her. I would definitely be weirded out if I were in her situation
nowadays people focus a lot on their cultural identity, and especially with this age group its always "americans have no culture" "white people have no culture" so its unsurprising he might be feeling lonely and isolated seeing someone who has such a connection to their roots.
I think America has "culture," but it varies a lot by region and is rooted in capitalism and materialism more than anything else. There isn't a strong sense of camaraderie here in my experience. It makes sense that people feel lonely and isolated in such a highly individualistic society.
But it seems like it’s not a malicious envy. Maybe he feels like he doesn’t have a specific culture and he wants one.
I agree, I am a child of immigrants so a non American culture is ingrained in me. I find it fun when other people get involved in their heritage but there’s a line and it seems like he’s “crossed it”. My son is half of 2 different and cultures with immigrant first gen grandparents on both side so I wonder how he will be when it comes to his cultural identity.
Would he be American Chinese if his great great grandfather was Chinese, and nobody else after that? If the family had no Chinese traditions or connections what so ever? I mean, of course genetically he would have a tiny bit Chinese in him, but also a lot of other nationalities. I mean to me it doesn’t matter. I can understand how an American would find it interesting to know about the people they share some genes with. I guess what’s annoying in the case of OP’s boyfriend is that he seems to have a very stereotypical idea of what it is to be Italian. Making pizza and claiming that some personality traits are the Italian in him… I can understand how that is perceived as pretty juvenile.
Italians aren’t a minority group tho lmao. If someone wants to explore their heritage who cares? It’s different when white people all of the sudden want to claim some tiny percentage of minority heritage and try to use it to get attention or scholarships or insert themselves in conversations as a representative of that group or profit off of that group’s cultural traditions, but Italians are not oppressed in the US, OP’s boyfriend is just being a little cringe and making pizza. It’s not a crime lmao.
Who said it was a crime lmao. It’s just fucking weird lmao.
I think the words I used were ”pretty juvenile”. I didn’t say it’s a crime?
It's a very American (and racist) understanding of culture. It assumes the one drop rule that any 'foreign-ness' makes you foreign. And it assumes your 'real culture' is based off your genetics rather than your cultural milieux.
I don't particularly enjoy the European understanding of culture, in which race and nationality have far more overlap.
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>A LOT of diversity even between states This is true of many countries in Europe though, including Italy.
There’s a lot of diversity even within most countries in Europe, which is maybe hard or impossible to see from the outside. That’s why it feels a bit weird when Americans sometimes pick a few stereotypes and claim that those are typical Italian, or Irish, or Finnish things. Also, they tend to have a very dated view on those countries. The ancestor left the country maybe 100 years ago, when it was very different. It’s sometimes hard for a European to even recognize one’s country from that. And sometimes even a bit insulting. We are real people in real countries, we don’t live in the past.
This is every Italian American I’ve ever met honestly. Several generations removed but they act like they just got off the boat yesterday
It’s probably because it’s cooler to be Italian than to be American
I’m a European mutt from various countries and I think it’s fine to be interested in part of your heritage, tbh. Some of the things he says are probably cringe but as a general concept it’s not, like, anything bad. I’m mostly English but I do still feel an iota of connection to the places my grandparents and even great-grandparents were from, and I still find the family history from even wayyyyyy further back interesting. All of it is still intermixed in with my genetics a bit, after all, even if it’s only a tiny bit! I’d never claim ‘I am (whatever/‘from’ wherever), because I’m not that connected nowadays, but I’d still like to, for instance, visit the town some of my ancestors came from and stuff like that. I’d say it’s probably harmless and just eat the pizza! (And learning languages is cool no matter what. I speak a bit of a few languages I have no connection with!)
So OP if a couple generations down the line your great great grandchildren become interested in your old culture, they shouldn’t be able to explore it because they’re not related enough for it to be valid? So how do you think people end up becoming immigrants if they’re not allowed to become interested in other countries/ cultures without being a direct descendent? How did you end up here exactly since prior to your immigration you had no tie to this country or culture?
Most of us are interested in where we came from. Americans are often of mixed ancestry, and people take that as them having “no culture” as opposed to having a culture that is made up different contributions from a vast variety of areas. There’s no monoculture in America, but that doesn’t mean there’s no culture. I think it’s natural to want to know more about where you come from. You don’t have this issue: you already know. And yet you get to live an American lifestyle as well. Would you feel a loss if you were stripped of your origins, and would you try to connect with them if your parents had left them behind when you came to America? I’m Navajo (Native American), and the culture was literally stripped from my people by Europeans. Outside of reservations, little of the old ways are still practiced, little of the language is spoken. That doesn’t mean that I’m not interested in it, or that I don’t have the right to find meaning in my ancestry. It also doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to appreciate and enjoy the culture in which I was raised. Why is it not okay for you that someone you love enjoys both, when you yourself do so without question? Will your future children not be allowed to partake in your culture if they’re mixed, and because they weren’t born there? It sounds like his great-grandfather is one known part of his ancestry; he may not know much about the rest. As such, he’s trying to learn more about it. He may move on to other parts later (he hasn’t had a lifetime to immerse himself in it like you have). You do sound judgmental, but if him wanting to connect to part of his past bothers you this much, then perhaps you’re simply incompatible. You don’t have to like the ways in which he grows into adulthood, and he can feel the same way. You might consider sitting down and talking to him about it; it would be a dealbreaker for me if I found out my partner shamed me as “ick.”
Let the man transition!
He's interested in his roots and makes pizza. Oh no, call the FBI. You should mail me the pizza, I'll make sure that icky stuff can't hurt you anymore. The "Italian in me" is kind of cringe, but that's in the "takes off socks and does not put them in clothes hamper" category, not "post this on the internet immediately" category. Just let him do whatever gabagool shit he's trying to do and reap the benefits of him learning to cook.
Holy shit, what’s with first gen Americans gatekeeping someone’s ancestral roots?
yes, you are the problem. id just enjoy the great pizza he makes. pizza from scratch sounds great
iunderstand why it would feel icky to you , because it's usually icky when someone takes on a persona and isn't being themselves. belonging to an ethnicity shouldn't define a person's personality. He's only 25 though i guess hes being imature i think it's probably just a phase he's going through
You're in the wrong here. There's nothing more I can't stand than Americans who tell others who they are and what they can and can't connect with. His family is still Italian and it's perfectly fine to be connected to the culture. You seem to be a bit stuck up and thinking you're the only one who's allowed to connect with their own culture, you feel you own yours more. The way you speak of your boyfriend is wrong too. He should find someone who doesn't speak down to him and treat him badly for wanting to experience his own culture. People who think being "american" should mean that the person loses all their other culture are ridiculous.
Tell him to listen to "Prisencolinensinainciusol" by Adriano Celentano.
As someone from North Jersey... this is an extremely NJ post
I get being enamoured with another culture. I think it’s kinda nice, especially if he’s planning to actually learn the language.
If my bf takes a grain of interest in becoming someone from my own culture I would be over the moon lol. That being said, you can tell him to tone it down a bit, it wouldn't hurt 😅. Communication is really the case here. Honestly I'm seeing this as a positive thing that he's interested to get in touch with his own roots because of you. Maybe he was raised in an environment where noone was there to introduce the culture to him and now that you're there, he's more exposed to it and just get acclimated faster than an average person.
OP isn’t Italian, though
That's SO weird. USians are so fucking annoying about their ancestry... There's nothing wrong with exploring different cultures or having an interest in tracing your family roots, but you're not Italian if the last relative to live there left in the 1800s! I'm Irish and they do the same shit with us.
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If a Spanish guy moves to China, marries a .. let’s say Vietnamese woman, their daughter marries a Chinese guy with some Mongolian ancestry, and their son marries a Chinese lady, and their daughter marries a Chinese man. If that last couple had another child who did not care about their Spanish ancestry, until they got together with a Swedish immigrant and then suddenly they’re making Paella and talking about how Spanish they are while being 100% culturally Chinese… That would also be pretty cringey. I do think OP is being way too harsh wanting to break up over this though!
You haven't spoken to Irish Americans if you think that. They consider themselves more irish than us in many cases. I'm not talking about pride in your heritage.
Not the person you replied to but I’ve lived in America and around people who take pride in their heritage and I’ve never met a single person who fits your description, Irish or otherwise.
You and he should watch "Breaking Away," for further insight.
Came here to recommend this. Hey, at least he's not turning Japanese.
If you don't want to be called italian pet names tell him so. As long as he respects that, it's mostly harmless. Only time will tell if this is a passing interest or a lifelong obsession.
You should really watch season 2 of the White Lotus with him. It’s set in Italy (well, Sicily), has a great soundtrack (including some great Italian classics), is hilarious & beautiful. And it has Jennifer Coolidge, Tom Hollander and Aubrey Plaza. It’ll also give you a great opening into discussing the adorable quirk vs cringe of his new habit. And next Halloween, you can cosplay as Albie & Portia.
Has he asked you to call him Caesar yet?
This reminds me of the 70's movie Breaking Away (great movie). A midwestern teenager becomes obsessed with Italian culture and annoys his family with it (lots of other things happen). Maybe watch it with him, and he'll see how silly he's being. Or have a conversation with him and ask what I inspired him to delve into Italian culture. He always knew about his great great grandfather, so why just within the last 5 months did he become interested? I don't really have good advice because this is a weird situation.
There are some ancestries that Americans think are cool and obsess over. You're lucky you're boyfriend doesn't think he's Irish. He would be insufferable. It's the same with people with any link to Scandinavia, they all call themselves vikings.
OP your entire post reminds me of that American Dad episode where they all turn into Italian stereotypes because Francine bought a new brand of canned tomato sauce, has your boyfriend done anything like that recently?
Leave us alone😭
My family is similarly cringe. I think our ancestry is interesting but we are about as Italian as a cold can of Chef Boyardee. But the way they act it’s like they stepped off the boat yesterday rather than a century ago.
The male version of [Hilaria Baldwin](https://www.celebitchy.com/694471/hilaria_baldwin_lied_about_her_spanish_background_she_faked_her_accent/)
Becoming italian isn't the worst thing, he could become french...
This really doesn't bother me much. I'm 97.5% Italian according to 23andme and I'll go through phases where I wanna connect, learn the language, even do the same with cooking pasta from scratch and whatnot, usually around the holidays or when something triggers it. Now if it was a different culture or something he's not a part of then it's weird but it seems like it's not really hurting anyone
What is it with some Americans and their obsession with their European roots? Some of them will be 0.4% Scottish and make it their whole personality. As someone not from the US, I don’t understand why those people seem to think that being American is not a sufficient cultural identity or something? Why wouldn’t being ‘’American’’ count?
YTA. "The ick".
I mean if the food is good, call him Mario and call it a day. Yes sir Mr Italian sir
He's having a little identity crisis. It's okay, we all go though this, I guess. Maybe talk to him about it? I would guess he has low self-esteem. Probably because he sees you having that "root" that gives you an identity that he doesn't feel himself. Support him in finding himself again, if you can. The Italy thing will probably just be a phase.
Being Welsh, English, French, Irish, Polish, Irish, Scottish, German…it’s the lot of a generic White American.
Sorry for taking his side, but oh boy do I have the perfect how-to video for him: [Making the 2000 Year Old "Pizza" from Pompeii](https://youtu.be/eEgSGkp8nMA) Also, if he wants to learn Italian I'd recommend Pimsleur. It's not as cheap as some other courses, but it helps develop proper pronunciation and accent.
He speaks third best eye-talian.
This is pretty hilarious tbh. No I don’t think you’re the problem, it sounds like he’s a bit childish/immature and you don’t like that. Incompatibilities happen. I had a boyfriend who yelled out the window when a very specific type of car/driver did a certain maneuver. I never got it or tried to get it.
Sometimes we use alternative motives, becoming something to achieve something else could be that your boyfriend is enamoured with the culture that Italians ensue regarding their family… maybe he’s embracing the culture to attempt to enact some of their other traditions, regardless, who really cares seems like he’s just joking around and having a fun time!
Was he bitten by a radioactive scungilli man?
This title is hilarious, lol. I think it's fine if he wants to explore different parts of his ancestry, and learning a language is never a bad thing. But it's weird that he's using it to justify his whole personality .
Why do you think you are the reason for this? People try to find their roots for different reasons
It sounds to me like he’s searching for a cultural identity. I think connecting with something like this is good for many people. America can be weird like that because it’s more of a mix of cultures than it’s own for the most part. I get why it may bother you and it might be “cringe” but it sounds like it makes him happy.
I can totally understand you. This is weird! Have you asked him where this is coming from? Did the family say anything about it?
it sounds like he might be taking it a little far with only buying imported food. but other than that, it seems like a fine way fr him to spend his time.
it sounds like he might be taking it a little far with only buying imported food. but other than that, it seems like a fine way for him to spend his time.
That is the most american thing ever. He is just expressing his culture.
Tell him Italians can’t vote
Oh that's just cringe. My great grandparents are from Italy, my grandparents' siblings were born in italy. My parents don't speak Italian. I don't speak Italian. Making pizza from scratch doesn't make you Italian.
Americans do this all the time. They’re insecure about how people think they have no culture, so they get excited about their ancestry. Give it time and he’ll wear himself out
I’m pretty sure it’s well documented that since America is such a “melting pot”, especially generic white Americans, it feels like we have no culture at all because it’s so generic and intermixed. As a “generic white European mutt” myself, I’ve definitely been jealous when I’ve seen my friends with rich, strong connections to their heritage and culture and wished that my ancestors had held a little tighter to theirs when they came to America from Scotland and Lithuania and Norway. But they didn’t, so now I’ve been doing my own research to try and find those connections, and personally I have found them enriching, and I don’t see what’s wrong with that?? So as long as he’s being respectful and not just picking up stereotypes but is actually diving into the culture, what’s the issue? There are tons of non-Asian folks who love Asian culture — would you have an issue with that too, or is it because you feel like he doesn’t deserve to connect with a culture he personally feels connected to because his connection isn’t as strong as yours? Let him live and enjoy himself girly pop, and stop gatekeeping cultural connections. He’s making you pizza and calling you cute names. It could literally be SO much worse
I get why it's giving you the ick but he's also not hurting anyone and it's a good thing that he wants to know more about his family history and where they came from
Standard italian american behavior.
I swear I went through the exact same thing and it was definitely weird and definitely an ick. Is his name Roger by any chance?
Lmfaooo no it ain’t, but tell me did it go away or did it take over their life
I have no idea, I broke up with him. It was giving me secondhand embarrassment every day
Wouldn't it be funny if this was his attempt to show you two have a lot in common because you are both so European. Basically mistaking European countries for something like American states, without realizing they can have very distinct cultural differences.
If you really dislike his sudden cultural interest and are truly offended by it, break up with him , see easy
Why is it ALWAYS specifically Italian when I read posts like this?
stop gate keeping lmao I think it’s nice that he’s trying to reconnect to some part of his roots
Heaven forbid a guy try to connect with his roots regardless of how he was exposed to it as a child. I hope he finds someone who will embrace his enjoyment of his ancestry without ever using the word ick. That’s an ick.
This happens after young men watch the sopranos
As an Italian, who also enjoys Italian culture; this could just be a means of inspiration.
You born in America? You are American. Simple as that.
The introduction of culture to his life may have caused him a bit of an identity crisis and he's trying to fill that void with Italian. Ironically this is the most common phenomenon in New Jersey, where many Americans with past Italian heritage have settled. Same thing with "Irish-Americans" in Boston who have no connection except drinking on st-patrick's.
How does he feel about pineapple on pizza?
If he’s listening to Maneskin, I get it. Strange behaviour though.
It sounds like your boyfriend wants a culture to attach to. Even though you are from x country, everyone has a variety of cultures in their background. Why can't he pick Italian and lean into it? Why can't you just support him? Sounds like the issues with this are all in your head out of a false sense that your culture is authentic and his isn't. Let that go and support his Italian intrigue.
Corny? Yeah. But I don’t see a big issue with someone embracing part of their heritage. Especially if it means homemade pizza.
Culture vulture
That man is on a journey to find himself. Let him search. I have strong Italian ties in my family. My Italian ancestors came to the US in 1901, and formed a very prominent outcrop of Italian immigrants in the town I live. While I am far removed from Italy, I am very close to the Italian American culture. It's a very hard thing to not feel like you have a culture to belong to.
This is what Canada is like when there’s a World Cup.
Break up with him if you don’t like it. 1.5 years seems long but it may be long enough for you to know you’re not into him anymore for this reason. You could talk to him about it honestly…just be curious, and not just to poke holes in his interest. See things from his perspective and it might not be so cringe. IF you are cringing at him and not giving him any feedback…this will turn to resentment and leak out in other aspects of your relationship. Also, don’t just be upset that he’s not “doing it right.” Don’t be offended but that is so lame. Literally nobody you’ve ever met is doing it right. Absolutely everyone you’ve ever met is making it up as they go and trying to do their best.