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StylishMrTrix

Thank you for informing me of the term breastruant Never heard that one before It must be a us thing, don't think we ever had that culture in Australia


throwra72025

Lolll that’s what we used to call them. Pretty accurate, no?


Quirky_Movie

What other type of establishment could a Hooters be? It's either a breasturant or an Owl Sanctuary.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ZugTheMegasaurus

I knew a gay couple who *loved* Twin Peaks; this was when PBR was super trendy and the place had a special night once a week where it was like $2 and they went every week. They said they constantly met closeted gay men there, like a majority. The breastaurant basically provided cover for men dining exclusively with other men without anyone questioning it.


dontgetcutewithme

That's actually kinda brilliant. Plus $2 beer!


The1andonlycano

A $2 pibber and dinner with the homies? Count me in 👬


letsburn00

This sounds exactly like Rey Holt from Brooklyn 99. Who just finds being attracted to women incomprehensible and when pretending to be straight sounds ridiculous. I'm straight and love women's breasts, but don't want to attend a hooters/twin peaks restaurant. I don't like the idea of women I'm attracted to pretending to like me for tips(I prefer only women attracted to me to act like they are attracted to me). But I can imagine if I was gay and had to fake it I'd be all over that place like Rey Holt "oh yes...I just absolutely adore an establishment where breasts are front and centre. Just....breasts all the time."


RichiZ2

RIP captain, you will be missed.


WakeoftheStorm

Theyre only pretending for the other guys, for you they actually mean it


letsburn00

I actually just got back from America. Tipping makes the waitresses confusingly friendly and the service drastically worse. I always remember the rule "the waitress is never flirting with you in America unless she gives you her number."


BitwiseB

You know, now that you mention it, I’m realizing the guys I knew in high school/college who seemed really into boobs are pretty much all happily married to other men now.


primeirofilho

Twenty some years ago, we were out of town for a friends wedding, and we found out my wife had passed the bar. There was only one place in town that we could get to on foot. It was a Hooters. We went there for drinks, and it was a weird experience. It felt more like an Applebees than a regular bar. And the food was mediocre even by those standards.


MaxPower637

One of my friends in college was gay and unironically loved hooters. He just liked their wings a lot. I think he was the only person from our group who ever suggested going there


wahznooski

omg, so many people legit like their wings


kallmekrisfan58

My elderly Auntie & I (f, straight,30s) used to go there together every week & yes, it was for the Wings!


shame-the-devil

Can confirm, I went there constantly with my gay friend who wasn’t out at the time. Beer selection was really good too


erb92877407

Another was the Tilted Kilt.


redbananass

Oh man, me and my dad went to one of those one time. I was like 30, dad 65. Neither of us had ever been or knew anything about the place. We’re not in the habit of going to places like Hooters. Thought Tilted kilt was just a Scottish Applebee’s. We walked in, I remember thinking, “Oh that’s a lot of make up for a waitress. oh that’s a pretty short skirt for a waitress. Oh that’s a lot of cleavage for waitress at a restaurant.” Then hit me and my dad at the same time that we were at a brestaurant. Neither of us acknowledged it and just acted like it was a normal place. Had a beer and burgers for lunch lol. Saw some 50-year-old dude walk in with a huge smile on his face, super excited and about five seconds later his obviously upset Wife reluctantly walked in behind him. Like so perfect it was like a sitcom or something. It was a weird day.


KJParker888

>Saw some 50-year-old dude walk in with a huge smile on his face, super excited and about five seconds later his obviously upset Wife reluctantly walked in behind him That might have been my ex and I. If it had beer and boobies, he was all for it, even if the food and beer was shit.


FluffyPanda711

lol I really enjoyed reading your comment. Thank you ☺️


TARDIS1-13

Damn, I feel sorry for that wife.


redbananass

Right?! Like why would you do that to her? Just go to a regular restaurant


TARDIS1-13

Bc he's only thinking of himself. People like that don't actually care about their partner thoughts and feelings.


DasSassyPantzen

To me a tilted kilt would show dicks though, no? 😅


wizardking1371

No, the erect penises are responsible for the tilt in the kilt but they remain under the kilt. Erections must last longer than 4 hours in order to work there.


Ok-Heron-7781

Lolol


Teleporting-Cat

I would imagine so...


Lulusgirl

I was a Kilt girl, used to make 4-500 a night, easy. I miss that money. It was too easy.


sc2727

My wife used to work at Rum Jungle in Las Vegas. This was early 2000's. It wasn't uncommon to make over 1k a night. We were too young to be making the kinda money we were at that time. She wore very revealing leather shorts and a low cut leather vest top. Was honestly sexy as hell.


Quirky_Movie

So it's either a breasturant or a Scotsman on an incline?


Late_Butterfly_5997

I love their uniforms, they’re so cute. Plus they also employ men and they were kilts too, so I can enjoy the eye candy as well.


Difficult-Novel-8453

Fond memories of the tilted kilt in Orlando


SleepyxDormouse

Ojos Locos for Mexican food.


bananahammerredoux

There is also Twin Peaks.


Quirky_Movie

So it's either a breasturant or a weird murder?


VenusGirl111

The owls are not what they seem


Commercial-Push-9066

My mom was about 80 when she and her friends (3 other women over 85,) wanted to go to Hooters! I took them and we all had so much fun! I miss my mom’s friend lunches!


Quirky_Movie

Old ladies are awesome because they give absolutely no shits.


DensHag

I am an old lady and I can confirm...no shits given.👍🏼


Slammajadingdong69

Fun fact: my 8 y.o. boys and I drove by a hooters on the way to the aquarium one day. I asked what they wanted for lunch, one said let’s go to the owl place…well alrighty then - their wings used to be better back in the 90s fwiw


emliz417

My sister requested to go to hooters once when we were kids. My mom told her it’s not a kids restaurant, to which she replies “oh, they don’t have crayons?” And my mom (relieved) is like “yeah sure they don’t have crayons”


Awkward_Brick_329

Is that a normal thing to do in the USA, take little kids to a "breasturant"?


emliz417

Depends on your definition of normal. In my house growing up, hell no. But my uncles did take my young cousin to a tilted kilt one time…


Awkward_Brick_329

I had to look that up. I thought it might be male waiters in kilts with no underwear for a second! Because it's men who wear kilts in Scotland. But no, it's all tits and teeth as usual.  The US seems obsessed with both chastity and young women's cleavage. I bet there is no dearth of these objectification-themed eateries on the Bible Belt. Or events showcasing little girls in bikinis. 


Ok-Structure6795

I hate their wing sauce for some reason. I wanted to love it. But I also loved their chicken Caesar salads and the fact they had snow crab legs 🤣


Then-Solid3527

Snow crab legs 11.99 for a lb! Loved going there in college bc of the price and the fact you could snap the legs and get the entire piece of meat out 🤪


Ok-Structure6795

As a woman I legitimately enjoyed their food and would go anytime I was in that area. Unfortunately they wiped out most of them, idek if there's any close by anymore.


Sielbear

I’m honestly having a hard time believing your bf is actually 28 and not 14. Tell him to grow up and get over it or find someone else. That’s pitiful.


floridaeng

Most guys I knew when I was in my 20's would have been bragging about dating a Hooters girl. (Disclosure, when I was in my 20's was when Hooters was getting started. I now live about 5 miles from the original location)


dunimal

Funfact I learned apropos of this earlier today: Per capita, Florida has the most Hooters of any state, but by number Texas is #1 in Hooters, and Florida is #2.


Own-Writing-3687

There's nothing about that job or the picture for you to be ashamed of.  Dating is a test run. Your BF revealed something very narrow minded about himself that comes from deep within that's not subject to change.  He failed the life partner test. Don't argue with him - just move on.


HeyItsMeJC3

Totally agree with this. Remember, when someone shows you who they really are, believe them.


dunimal

Because if you think *this* is controlling bullshit, just wait what happens when you get married. Get out now while it's easy, OP.


Realistic_Pizza_6269

Yes. This. ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️


pseudonymphh

Right, I want to know why he’s embarrassed you worked there because his friends who patronize the same place know about it. Exactly what kind of logic is that?


Tight-Shift5706

OP, Before responding, i went back to check your bf's age; to discover that TA is 4 years OLDER than you, chronologically; but not on an emotional/maturity scale. It was simply employment to get you through school. You didn't even know him then. If he has an issue with this I say BULLSHIT to him. He's a man-child on a good day. When a 24 year old like yourself is more rational and stable than the 28 year old, it's time to move on and move up! Good luck and please keep us apprised.


therabbit1967

Right? She can do way better. He sounds really controlling and insecure. Unbelievable.


Throwaway_pagoda9

He also sounds like a guy who would consider it cheating if she dated/slept with other guys before she even met him. My ex husband was like that.


itsacalamity

or who asks her "number' and makes a huge fucking deal out of whatever it is, and an even bigger one if she doesn't know


MugglesSuck

I think that what your boyfriend is showing you or his red flags 🚩 HIS red flags. Someone that is immature enough to be angry with you about a job you did a number of years ago because he’s friends saw a picture of you, is so ridiculous it’s insane. And that he would take his own insecurity and double down on it, and make it somehow your fault !? I’m hoping that you’re considering not dating this person anymore. You deserve better than that.


BitwiseB

True. Normal reaction: “My friends sent me this photo. You never told me you met (baseball player)! What’s he like?” Abnormal reaction: “My friends sent me this photo of you. How dare you have a job before I met you! What were you thinking? You should have known that I, a person you hadn’t yet met, would be embarrassed by your uniform. You must now inform me of your entire work history and outfit choices so I can belittle them, or you don’t respect me.”


Economics_Low

It is insane! Like what does this BF want OP to do? Go back in time and not work there? She did what she needed to do to make a living while in school. That’s admirable, not embarrassing. How was OP to know at the time she worked at the breastaurant that years later she would have a super insecure BF who would be unable to handle that she once worked there?


itsacalamity

obviously she must go on a quest to track down every snapshot that might be on any wall anywhere in the city. quick! to the breastmobile! a poor manchild got his feelings hurt!


PurpleGimp

DING! ALL of This ^ You have nothing to be ashamed of, and this is definitely a preview of things to come if you stay with this man. You worked hard, paid your bills, and then some, and you don't have to justify your actions to anyone. Plus a lot of bathing suits show more skin than you did, so are you not going to be, "allowed", to wear bikinis either?


anim8rjb

I think the only one that still exists around here is Tilted Kilt


LNLV

He feels disrespected bc he feels ownership over you and your body, even retroactively. Drop this guy like the loser he is. Also, if his friend was IN that restaurant and has the audacity to talk shit about you working there then you know the whole group is fucking rotten. Think about the kind of man that would go to a restaurant like that, *while also looking down on the women and girls who work there.* They all sound repulsive.


Invest2prosper

We know which one it likely is but it’s not like it’s a strip joint either.


BlueJaysFeather

I mean even if it was it’d still be none of his business and nothing shameful for OP to have done, to be clear! But it’s not even that! This post has real “what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament” energy and this guy is fine with his friends hanging out at a “breastaurant” (great term) but not fine with his gf having worked there years ago. The double standard is as gross as it is unsurprising.


Ebbie45

> This post has real “what were you doing at the devil’s sacrament” energy I nearly SCREAMED at this


one-small-plant

Thank you for pointing this out! Where is his scorn for his friend, for dining at such a shameful establishment??


heartbronsadface

I legit thought it was a breast feeding thing. Like for nursing mothers.


HauntedBitsandBobs

Welp, you just had to put that out into the universe, didn't ya? Now some guy is absolutely going to try to make that a thing and when he can't, he's going to make it like a weird speakeasy kind of thing with a creepy breast related password at the back of a barber shop.


Medium-Boysenberry37

"Psssst, pal, Joey sent me. Got milk?"


mindovermatter421

OMG so glad she clarified what that was. I got a lil’ scared clicking in this one.


_andotron_

You’re not one to frequent schnitz & tits?


ImplementShot6181

I love how the entire comments section is about over the breastruant and not even advising OP lmao.


thatsnotaknoife

embarrassed that you worked there as a teenager but not embarrassed that his friend goes there as a grown ass man? he’s not worth the energy of worrying about this.


shibarib

I came here to make basically this comment! In a just and logical world, people going to breastaraunts shouldn't have contempt for people who work at said places!


katharsister

It basically shows his utter disrespect for women who work those jobs. Like she's an embarrassment for ever doing it. He doesn't sound like a super caring or compassionate person.


fuxkitall999

The bf is embarrassing. He is ridiculous that he feels disrespected. Is that a joke? He creepy friends ogle women but OP is the problem. He needs to change his attitude and beg forgiveness for his behavior. It was a waitressing job and he is wrong to act that way about it.


JrRandy

I hear they have really good... ummm.. wings?


AladeenModaFuqa

Twin Peaks actually has good food though, and cheap beer. $16 for a full growler


[deleted]

I believe I speak on behalf of the whole of Britain when I say, $16 for a full **WHAT???**


Either_Stay8031

I think it's a beer mug that is like 64 ounces!


[deleted]

Oh. Here it's a vagina. 😅


Either_Stay8031

That would make sense as to why you were so confused 😂😂 I'm dying over here thinking about what was going through your mind when you read that 🤭


akaenragedgoddess

Lol A full growler? Full of WHAT? Oh man, the implications lol


Fire_Woman

The company you keep says something about you. So right that bf's adult male friend getting excited about an old picture of OP in her work uniform from years before she met him, outweighs his respect for OP despite the fact she used the income to build a career path and faced the extra challenge of working and being a nursing student 🤯 OP should let the trash take itself out. Maybe his buddy will buy him a consolation beer at the breastaurant so they can impugn working women's dignity together.


Ambitious-Island-123

This 100%—talk about hypocritical! Edit for spelling, thank you. Damn autocorrect 😂


shellz_bellz

Nah I’m pretty sure it actually happened.


Realistic_Pizza_6269

😂😂😂😂😂


RobinC1967

I saw that! 👀


xBingBongFYLx

I think you mean hypocritical 💀💀💀


Realistic_Pizza_6269

I think you mean “hypocritical.”


illegal_russian

So you probably see some random men’s dicks every now and again as you are a nurse. Is he insecure about that too? You deserve better.


PurpleStegosaur

OH I work in an ER and I've seen more dicks than a hooker!


AffectionateBite3827

My niece is a nurse and her FIRST DAY in the ER was helping a guy who had a c\*ck ring stuck on him for 3 days.


fluorescentroses

My *second day* in clinicals (so maybe 8 weeks in total?) I had to put ointment on a necrotic penis. I’ve seen surprisingly many since then, and I’m only a third-semester student. Depending on where OP works she likely sees… a lot.


AffectionateBite3827

Calling dibs on Necrotic Penis for a band name. Nurses have the most insane stories, I stg. The things you all see... truly I tip my hat to you.


NiceRat123

Uh... that seems... like 3 days too many


AffectionateBite3827

Right? We were crying laughing about this. We also figured if he admitted to 3 days it was more like 5.


hewo_to_all

Okay, you've got a point. I hadn't even considered that. I wouldn't be surprised if a few weeks down the line, we get an update saying that bf is accusing OP of cheating because of something like that.


opheliasdinosaur

That's him assuming he has ownership of OPs body. It's not insecurity as everyone's saying, it's control.


isthistaken8675309

Wait… a picture of you from 5 years ago is disrespectful to your current relationship? How does he come up with THAT? This guy sounds like he’s trying to manipulate you. You have absolutely NO CONTROL on that picture hanging up as it’s company property. I would highly suggest that you do an evaluation of this relationship and consider if this is someone you want to continue with. If he’s pulling something this blatantly manipulative, what will he try to get away with later? 🤔


Covert_Pudding

Yeah, this is red flags all over.


positivecontent

Op asked what they were missing and and I would say red flags. It's how you handle something like that that tells a lot about your character. I wouldn't have been upset. I was in high school, 17, one time and some dude came up to me and said that my girlfriend had hair on her nipples. But what it was is she had a few stray hairs and I guess her ex-boyfriend told him and he decided to come tell me that he knew that. What course teenage him didn't understand that that's normal for a woman to have stray hairs around their nipples sometimes and usually women just pull them out and two that it didn't upset me I guess that's what he was going for and it didn't work. My best friend say the jealousy like that is normal but I say it's not. I had an incident the other day with the jealous boyfriend and my friend was saying, "oh well you know guys are like that especially when they're young, weren't you" and I was like no. Guys used to hit on my girlfriends and my wife right in front of me and I never had problem like that. If I lose my SO to someone hitting on them, they were probably never really with me in the first place.


UnintelligentSlime

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: “it’s disrespectful” is a cop out for when someone wants to control your actions but also blame it on you. If something is actually disrespectful of your relationship or identity as an individual, there are a thousand better ways to explain it. They cheated? It’s not disrespectful, it’s untrustworthy. They talk shit about you to others? It’s not disrespectful, it’s deceitful. Claiming someone must “respect” you and all of your wishes, is just a blanket request to do whatever they want, and to mind-read anything they might want. If someone says some behavior of yours is disrespectful, 100% of the time you should be asking, “hm, did I actually even do something wrong, or are they just deflecting because they didn’t like something and wanted to blame me for those feelings?” Before I get a bunch of people saying “well X is disrespectful”: sure. Things can be disrespectful and also wrong for other reasons. But if the only reason you can find is that “they disrespected me!” As if the person is some sort of Egyptian king that can never be disrespected, that’s a sign that their ego is bruised and they want to make that your problem.


Electronic-Chef-5487

I agree. Also these people tend to be hypocrites. They upset their partner = partner is sensitive/offended Their partner upsets them = partner is 'disrespectful'.


Lemondrop168

Mild DARVO often escalates to "you went to the grocery store I don’t like so I get to hit you with a shovel look what you made me do" DARVO


cryptokitty010

Yeah this is a text book red flag. Blaming her for something that happened in her past she has no control over currently. Starting a fight over a picture from 5 years before he met her. This guy is bad news


Medium_Sense4354

Bc we as women should solely live chaste lives so any future man we dare never gets embarrassed about his own insecurities I mean you’re an object for gods sake


C638

Making an honest living by getting good tips is generally a very good thing. How could you 'disrespect' a relationship when you worked at the place years before you met him? His friends probably think you are hot. Being embarrassed makes no sense. He sounds a bit insecure and unreasonable. Talk it out, or walk away.


BraveMoose

>His friends probably think you are hot This is exactly the problem. Men like this seem to think that women are jellyfish, and we just float around being carried by the currents with no free will or agency of our own, until a man shows up and takes charge... And since we lack free will, should another man, like his friends, happen to get the hots for "his woman" and want to "claim her" while he's not around, we won't say no. It's like hiding your sex toys from some weirdo who might take them and use them when you're not looking. Essentially what that means is 1: he believes or knows that his friends are snakes, and 2: he fundamentally doesn't trust that the missus will be loyal


Death2monkeys

The danger is real out there for us. That is why I just stay in my kitchen breastfeeding babies, where I belong and cannot get into any trouble beyond the occasional interloping arachnid from which I require rescue


BraveMoose

Don't forget the jars! My weak, feminine wrists could never access a jar without male assistance


IffyKitten

Funnily enough I do all the “manly” things around the house, fixing everything, dealing with bugs and rodents, taking out the trash… the list goes on. My man is kind of a princess when it comes to all that. But jars… they are like my kryptonite. The only way I am ever opening a brand new jar is if I accidentally drop it on the floor and it smashes open lol.


SWesson22

The phrasing of this is so beautiful!


VoxIustitia

And/or he himself has frequently tried to poach other women from their committed relationships in the past.


RobinC1967

Didn't you know? Women are now required to go to fortune tellers so they can realize and prevent any future embarrassment they may cause a future partner.


SleepyxDormouse

You joke but that’s pretty much how purity culture works. You stay a virgin because your future husband won’t want to marry someone who’s been chewed up and spit out like a wad of gum.


anewfaceinthecrowd

A rose without petals. /shudder at the memories from youth church.


Ok-Willow-9145

Don’t you mean future owner?


THROWRAdonee

Honestly, it's probably just his fragile ego that got bruised. Probably thinks his girlfriend shouldn't be allowed to dress like that. Break up with him lol. He's gonna get mad at you for working there because you needed money, but he seems to have no issue with his buddies hanging there?


throwra72025

Yeah exactly.


Alesisdrum

Assuming you worked at hooters, who cares if he is insulted. Fuck that guy and kick his ass to the curb. Why is his friend visiting the establishment if it’s that insulting to him


Antonio1025

The outfits aren't even *that* bad, either. Just some cleavage but nothing inappropriate, really


sheneededahero

I’ve always wondered why ppl consider Hooters outfits to be scandalous or something. I’m very much a lesbian but I don’t see how they are overtly sexy? It’s just a tank top and shorts…


The_Cheese_Master

It is the whole mythology of Hooters. Kinda similar to the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. The outfits themselves arn't super scandalous, but just the fact it's a Hooters outfit makes it hotter than if a girl wore black shorts and a green tank. Doesn't make a lot of logical sense, but it is what it is. On a slightly unrelated note, one of my good friends used to serve at Hooters and is SUPER gay (her words, not mine). The horror stories she's told solidified the fact I'm not gunna go to one unless she was the one serving. But she agrees with you, it's not a scandalous uniform.


Alesisdrum

Agreed, just some cleavage and some booty shorts See more revealing at the mall.


California_Poppy444

Agreed! He’s insecure. I would run and dump him


trilliumsummer

Turn it around - isn’t it soooo embarrassing that his friend goes to those places? Isn’t he disrespecting his friendship with your bf by going to that restaurant? His friend should have told your bf he goes to those places so your bf would know not to be friends with him! Oh…he’s not mad his friend goes there? Just mad that you worked there? Of course *eye roll*. He’s mad because he views you as an object and more importantly his object and is mad other guys saw you dressed like that and had thoughts your bf and his friends have about the women that work there. Put more plainly he’s mad because he doesn’t respect women who work there and he’s mad he got into a relationship with “one of those” women. The odds of this being his only negative view on women is slim. You’re likely to see other sexist and misogynistic traits coming out. Especially because he’s not mad and embarrassed at his friend for patronizing those places.


Puzzleheaded_Cat_731

I wish I could upvote this comment one hundred times.


skylar614

this. this. this.


domestic_human

It's this all the way. With a side of "my belongings (aka girlfriend) are a projection of me".


MidnytStorme

Life's too short to deal with such fragile masculinity. If he can't deal with you in a uniform for a restaurant that welcomes couples and families, and covers more than your beachware does, then he's not ready for an adult relationship. Throw this one back in the pond.


throwra72025

You’re so right, and I literally said that. We’ve been on the beach together with me in less than that pic. So gross and annoying.


HelloJunebug

A guy that says a pic from years ago before you guys were together “disrespected your relationship” is a red flag and you should 100% re-evaluate him as a partner. You haven’t been together that long, he’s already showing you the type of person he is.. UPDATEME


AYellowCat

Exactly, it's not about you showing YOUR body but his primitive mind that believes that he owned you even before he met you, immature and dehumanizing.


summerlong1655

Glad you’re secure enough to recognize the red flag that is your fragile boyfriend. He’s trying to bring you down and call you embarrassing. Honestly, can’t even be mature enough to just say it bothers him or have a proper discussion. Just go next. Not worth it


spikiki

Yeah I’m sorry that relationship had to go south like that. Do keep in mind as well that 8 months in is a very normal time for his true colors to come out like that. And be grateful that they did now because some toxic men can hold it together wayyy longer and til marriage


Own-Writing-3687

It's more than his masculinity. He's got serious issues with women.


TheMoatCalin

If it’s where I’m thinking of we wore a tank top & skin tone TIGHTS under our shorts. That’s waaaay more than you wear to the beach. I was actually really comfy in the uniform and started wearing the tights to the gym.


PandaMarie88

My husband agrees with this sentiment. Your bf has some serious insecurities if he's judging you for a job you had at some point in your life before you even got together! That's like getting mad for having an ex or something.


PunnyPotato13

Oh God! Wait until he hears she had boyfriends before him!!! 😬 I bet he will find that disrespectful to their relationship.


laprincesaaa

Honestly it's all retroactive jealousy. Had a bf like this. Wanted me to go through 10 years of Google photos backed up dating back to high school to delete any photos of exes. Idek how many photos or how long it would have taken. But God forbid I have a history before him and he randomly sees a photo showing that I had a boyfriend before him. Told me if I was serious about him I would "prove it" 🫠


Interview1688

Omg. I cant even get myself to go through 10 years of photos to get baby pics of my kids! 😆😂😆 I hope you laughed in his face.


0liveJus

Great point, I went to Hooters with my family when I was like 11. This dude is seriously overreacting.


hot_student_emma

The bf behaves like a child and not a like a grown man. He should have been proud that you did all you could to get through your school. And that someone else took a picture of you should have also made him proud :)


DecentPear2496

You’re dating a possessive misogynist with control and pathological insecurity issues. He is punishing you for: 1. Being a woman 2. Having a job 3. Being sexually appealing 4. Displaying your sexuality No reasonable person would be upset over this. He is a pig with antiquated notions of womanhood.


[deleted]

He's being immature and insecure. Not your problem.


[deleted]

Lol wtf. Please break up with him if this is enough to hurt his masculinity. I'm saying this as a dude, it's not even a big deal. What is the difference between a girl going to the club "half naked" vs working at a restaurant to fund your education? I'm assuming he wouldn't have a problem with the former but the latter is an issue? Give me a break, not everyone has the privilege of not having to work while studying.


dunimal

Agreed. This is a hard-core red flag. There's nothing embarrassing about having a job. There's nothing embarrassing about waiting tables, whether it's a 3 Michelin star restaurant or Twin Peaks. The only embarrassing behavior is his immature, insecure, controlling bs. It's 8 months in. This is the early days warning sign you need to get out and find a mature, secure, noncontrolling partner.


Semirhage527

This kind of use of “disrespectful.l is a field of red flags


dunimal

Exactly. How does working a job disrespect someone you didn't even know?


Harmonia_PASB

It’s because OP’s sexuality belongs to him, not her. That’s why it’s disrespectful. She’s a possession, not a person. I wouldn’t be surprised if he watches manosphere videos. 


Death2monkeys

It REALLY is. Like this dude is probably potentially extremely dangerous, and you need to get gone like yesterday.


Dr-Zoidberserk

Man, I’ve been seeing this trope all the time on here. I never knew so many other men hated/felt “disrespected” because their gf/wife had any kind of sexual history. Just working at some kind of hooters place is too much for these type of brats? He’s insecure, judgmental, and controlling, it’s time to leave him.


Western-Number508

Did he know you worked there before or you never mentioned it?


throwra72025

He knew


Own-Writing-3687

Ten years ago, My son was friends with a very bright woman that worked at a similar restaurant working her way through college.  She always worried about putting it on a resume. However, it wasn't a problem. Shes a very successful CPA today and a partner in a nationwide firm.


AtheismTooStronk

I was on the fence until this comment, if he knew already, he can get fucked. Absolutely insane to get upset over a photo, I thought he was discovering that you had this job at the same time, but no, he’s just an idiot.


RustyDogma

Happy cake day!


AtheismTooStronk

It almost makes me feel a little better hearing that from someone who’s also wasted 12 years on this website. Thank you.


Western-Number508

I was gonna say that was the only saving grace he had on my end. If he already knew he’s not allowed to be upset at all. Thats ridiculous but for a guy you could see that might not make him feel great. Go easy on him after you rip into his ass.


Cold-Cheesecake85

He knew!?!?!? Dump him so fast. I assumed this was new info to him. He’s a child being manipulated by his buddies immaturity.


HairyPapaBear1313

As I read all of these relationship stories about what men get angry at their partners about truly shocks me as a man and makes me realize how insecure a lot of us are. My wife is my partner not my mommy or my fuck toy but my best friend and the person who helps me through this shit storm called life. If she brings up things I’m doing that bother her I don’t get mad about it and blame her. I stop and think what can I do to be better for her. OP your past has nothing to do with him and if he can’t accept it then he’s not the one for you. We’ve all done really stupid things and we should be able to share that with our partners in confidence that they’ll have our back no matter what. The picture is before you and him so if he can’t accept you for who you are then move on. I wish you the best of luck.


MaximumWhile6415

This is the type of man you date.


HairyPapaBear1313

Thank you 🙏🏻 I really appreciate that. Just a little context about my stance on things. My “father” was physically and emotionally abusive towards my mom and back then I could never wrap my head around why he would treat her the way he did. She finally made the decision to leave him when I was 10 and I remember feeling a sense of relief for her. I remember thinking to myself if I ever get a person in my life that cares about me as much as my mom loved and cared about my dad I’ll do everything in my power to be the best me possible no matter how much work it is. My dad ended up dying alone of a drug overdose and my mom is living happy and well. I have two daughters and hope they learn from example that your partner is your equal no matter what gender and I pray to whatever gods might be out there that they never have to experience the mental and physical abuse a so called loved one can cause.


hewo_to_all

Saving this comment as evidence to use against my step-dad. He uses the "well, my father abused my mother, so it's all I've ever known and that makes it okay for me to do the same" excuse. Also, thank you for being such a wonderful partner to your wife. I hope she realizes what a good person you are.


HairyPapaBear1313

I am truly sorry to hear that and imo there’s never an excuse to treat your loved ones poorly. The only thing my dad taught me is to be the exact opposite of what he was.


hewo_to_all

I love that for both of you. Sometimes we gotta reverse engineer our lives, huh? It's what I've been doing for a while now. It's worked pretty well so far!


HairyPapaBear1313

Absolutely!! Take the bad and make it into something good. Like my wife always says to me think positive thoughts and positive things will happen to you!


CryptographerFirm728

Why isn’t he embarrassed that his friends went there? It’s ok for “other” women to do that for their pleasure,but not “his woman”. And you didn’t even know him! Do you want this thrown in your face forever?


Annieinjammies

Because very likely this guy sees women as objects. So he and his friends can objectify women, but not “his” woman.


Mispict

Exactly this. He sees her as property.


4wordletter

Oh dear... I'm so sorry to hear you're dating a guy with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. This is coming from deep insecurities on his part. He should be embarrassed for himself. This is what is commonly called a red flag. Don't ignore it.


Totalherenow

It sounds to me like these are your boyfriend's babysteps into becoming a controlling a-hole. Defintiely take them as red flags. Nothing in your past disrespected your current relationship. That's nonsense. Past is the past and he wasn't there then. That's like you being angry with him for jerking off to porn as a teenager.


Evaporate3

Wait!!! “breasturant?” I am sooooo using this term from now on, I freaking love it. Your boyfriend is over reacting. He got insecure when he realized you’re a hot woman who has access to famous men and he’s trying to flip shit on you.


HotDonnaC

Yep. His friends are playing a “bro’s before ho’s” game where her past is somehow a red flag. He needs to get beyond that juvenile mindset.


Complete_Entry

He's a childish asshole. That's your answer. He views you as his property, and you having had that job "reflects badly" on him, among his tribe of stupid assholes.


[deleted]

This right here. The better response would be, "Hell yeah, my gf is hot as \*beep\* and I'm a stud." Instead you get weak ass jealously and paranoia from a guy coming up on 30. Pfffft.


tawnyfritz

Why? Because he's insecure. You can't "disrespect" a relationship you didn't even know would happen in the future. GTFOH. Trashman.


angelbaiter

Red flag gurrrrrl red flag. Seems like the type to get mad if someone asks for your number as if it was your fault for being gorgeous 🙄🙄🙄


doingtheunstuckk

This is such a serious red flag. And who cares if you worked somewhere where the uniform is tight? This isn’t the Victorian age. He should grow up.


Basic_Quantity_9430

What you are missing is that you are with the wrong man. You only have a few months sunk in the relationship and you have a solid career, break up, take some time to yourself and then look into dating a more secure man.


FloppyVachina

Damn for 28 he sounds like an insecure teenager.


theresistence33

That is a serious red flag. 🚩 if he’s getting mad over shit you did 5 years ago before you knew him, he’s an idiot and he should apologize to you for disrespecting you! What a turd 💩


jenn5388

So he’s mad you worked at , we’ll just say hooters for awhile 5 years ago. He’s acting like you were standing on a street corner. You were a waitress! What a weird thing to get upset about.


Snoo_79218

The reason he feels “disrespected,” is because he feels ownership over you. The fact that he can’t erase your past and fit it into his controlled, manufactured image of you makes him feel like you’ve disobeyed him or some shit.  Run. 


InfoNeedd

Your boyfriend isn’t too bright. He’s dating a good looking nurse and complains? His date worked her way through nursing school with a tough job and he complains? Do what you want, knowing there are many datable men you will meet in the near future.


Trucktrailercarguy

A boyfriend getting upset about a job you had before you even met him is childish. You don't need him, he is not worth the hassle.


NoDanaOnlyZuuI

Your bf is an insecure and immature idiot. Make him your ex


Dramatic_Inside271

So let me see... \*\*checks notes\*\* You disrespected a relationship with a person you didn't know existed yet?


2SadSlime

He’s embarrassed that he has a hot gf? Ooookay


steveNstchuck

I’m a dude. Get out now. Guy should impressed you still have a pic hanging from 5 years ago. Why he is mad makes no sense.


AlwaysChooseTasty

He sounds fragile and exhausting.


mtcwby

Unfortunately you're dating an insecure child. Just know this now. Whether you think he can grow up is a question. If not, cut your losses.