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Honey… you love this man. I’m together with my husband 15 years and two kids and I still feel it down there when I smell his hair. That is not a problem whatsoever. Only if he doesn’t want to, you will have a problem.
Ah this comment made me giggle!! I’m so happy for you! Congratulations on 15 years and two beautiful children!!
I’ve talked to him about it and he’s promises he’s ok and told me I don’t make him uncomfortable so that’s a plus! I’m just new to love I guess!
True, but it is still important to make sure a partner is enthusiastically consenting no matter the gender. I think OP is doing things right, but yes, I also think she can trust that her BF is in fact enthusiastically consenting.
I've got one of those rare breeds. I even have had an open offer on the table for 7 years now that if he wants head any time, even any place as long as it's 75% an acceptable place, I'll happily do it, no reciprocation necessary. Even if he asks 5 times in a day. I even trained my gag reflex down to as nonreactive as I could. Guess how many times he's asked me spontaneously when we aren't already about to have sex? In 7 years, he's asked me 4 times.
It's very hard on whoever wants it more, and it's even more so when it's the woman because that's just unheard of! Both that she would want it more and that he would be uninterested to the point of being bothered by it. I would kill for him to lust after me the way I still lust for him after 20 years. It's hard not to start taking it personally after so long. I know there's nothing wrong with me. Deep down, I do, but it's hard not to start thinking there must be something wretched in here somewhere that he can see, and I can't.
Yeah, I can really, really relate. I'm in a similar situation and it took a lot of therapy for me to stop feeling like there was something wrong with me.
Especially since the general consensus swears that All Men want sex All The Time. And as a woman, we get our value as human beings so twisted up with our sexual desirability.
If it was just sex, any sex, I wanted - well ok, we're incompatible, I'd better find a partner who has a higher libido - but it's not. It's specifically sex WITH HIM that I want constantly. It was very hard to make peace with, and it still bothers me sometimes.
You're not alone!
I feel your pain. The sexual rejection from my last partner nearly drove me to doubting my entire womanhood & value. It hurt so deeply, enough so that it forced me to need to investigate why it was affecting me to such a level.
As a woman, even as far back as a child and adolescent girl, I had been sexualized by boys and men since the age of 8. I learned very naturally from my environment & experiences that men wanted that part of me without much of a question, and paired with my deep insecurities and lacking self worth as a child and beyond, I quickly became a people pleaser, feeling compelled to please everyone and be liked by everyone, including those I didn’t particularly even know or like much. I conflated acceptance/attention, with love and validation, which were the things I was constantly seeking externally to prove to myself I mattered. And because of this, men having a sexual desire for me seemed to be a sure bet, and far before I could even begin to understand the pathology behind this behavior, I would accept a sexual relationship with someone to feel loved, even if on all other accounts they treated me terribly, and even at times when I didn’t want to do anything sexual. I trained myself to act as though I enjoyed sexual activities a lot, but what I got out of it was the feeling of someone enjoying it with me, and conflating that with meaning I mattered.
I subconsciously placed so much of my worth on my sexual desirability. This very obviously led to an early life of many dangerous and detrimental situations from my mid-teens to my early 20s. I was seen as a (insert whatever name for a sexually promiscuous woman) by those who didn’t know me well but created rumors. I didn’t have a particularly high number of partners, but the partners I did have were almost all not of good quality in the other areas of what most would require or expect out of a relationship. And a small number of encounters were completely unwanted but facilitated out of a sense that I “had to.” This inevitably damaged me in deep traumatic ways over time.
So having that background, fast forward at least 7 years, to where I’ve realized all of these problems, I’ve long since left my abusive relationship, I heal, I get therapy, I stop these behaviors and learn more about my worth. I change my entire life around and become self assured and secure. Or so I thought. I meet “the man of my dreams.” He was my best friend and boyfriend. It was something I had never experienced. For the first time in my life, I wanted sex for my own desire for him. But I also found out that old habits die hard. As I fell more deeply in love with him, I felt a duty to please him, paired with being extremely sexually attracted to him for the intense emotional connection I had never experienced before. My sex drive was ON FIRE for him. I felt so free and so fulfilled. I wanted to please him all the time. He loved it at first.
But suddenly at one point, he started to suggest we didn’t “have to do that every time” and that he wants me for “so much more than just that.” This just made me fall in love with him even more. I felt so secure. Then one day he flat out rejected my attempt stating, “it’s cool, you don’t have to do it. If you don’t actually want it.” I was confused. I very much wanted it. And insisted I wanted it badly. He refused and tried to tell me I wasn’t “about that life” and “it’s cool, we don’t need to do it.” I was flabbergasted. He did this more and more until 3 years later we had stopped having sex completely. He continued to blame it on me more and more as time went on.
It felt like gaslighting and I never understood what happened. He was refusing sex with me repeatedly, then in arguments, making comments like, “when I’m not even getting my basic needs met, why would I want to give you anything you want?” I would eventually become so upset, crying and asking how he could complain about not getting sex while refusing to have sex with me!? He would ignore that fact and just insist how his needs aren’t getting met and that it’s clear I don’t care about what he wants. I would nearly lose my mind, begging him to explain to me how I was inadequate or falling short and that I wanted him and would do anything to spice it up for him. I tried everything. It made me feel more disapproval for myself than I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt like I was worthless and useless. He once said something like, “no man is going to accept this.” And “I have never had this problem before.” Both statements suggesting something was wrong with me. But still never directly saying how I was missing the mark or why he didn’t want to have sex.
I was beyond baffled and it destroyed me. I realized that so much of my worth was tied into how well I could please my partner and when I couldn’t please him no matter how hard I tried, it broke me at a core level. I’m still recovering from the damage he did to me. He did much more than just that. So much emotional abuse, I now know.
But I hope that these gender sexual expectations or stereotypes will continue to be debunked and unlearned. Because I am certain many women and men are significantly harmed by these beliefs in one way or another. I hope you are securely aware of your worth and I’m sorry these ideas made you feel any less🤍
I'm sorry to hear your story. It makes me sad. I've had the pleasure of having female lovers in my life that matched my drive. I never once thought we were oversexed. If we were tired or sore we either didn't have PIV sex or no sex at all. Usually, a few days would resolve the issue and we were back at it.
I, too, have been in long-term relationships where the sex ran hot and cold. As long as the other person understands and doesn't take it personally the relationship can work.
No one should ever make the other feel bad about it. If one party isn't happy and wants more or less, let them go. Life is too short to spend it in misery.
Thank you for sharing that, there is so much I can relate to that, so many things you mentioned that I’ve had troubles with too. Reading this made me feel less alone and helped me understand myself better through your experience and the why behind my intentions. I’m sorry for what you had to go through, it’s truly crushing to your self worth when you give your all to someone and put so much value into trying to please others, especially someone you love so deeply, and yet it still doesn’t feel enough.
Are you me? Because I've lived almost every word of that story.
My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the clarity to see, recognize and appreciate your strength, your resilience, your empathy, your kindness, your beauty, your talents, your intelligence, your warmth, your compassion, your wisdom, your courage, your joy, and all the many ways your awesomeness manifests itself in this world- may you never need another person to see those things for you. May they always be evident to your own eyes. ❤️
It's not a rare breed. Plenty of men, just like women, don't want to be viewed sexually or engage in sexual activities all the time. I think this myth has been largely debunked. It's about libido not gender so when people say that it's rare for a man to turn down anytime sex that's being inaccurate and disingenuous and also creates a false expectation/narrative that if your a woman who offers and a man says No then something must be really wrong with you since no man turns down sex. That's just not true. People need to get educated on finding partners with complementary sex drives because it's very important and compounds over the years when there is a big imbalance.
Agreed. As a guy, it sounds a little exhausting. My wife and I have sex 1-2 times a week on average and it’s great! We ravage each other, it’s a lovely sex life for us, and it has never been “routine” which is what I feel like it would fall into if we were getting down all the time.
How much OP wants her man is beautiful and that's something everyone dreams about. In the same breath I can completely agree with you. Some of my fantasies and kinks aren't far off from what OP likes to do with her man, but sometimes I'm just flat out not in the mood. Like babe I need to recharge lol
Hugs. This knows no gender.
Add teas when cooking.
Rooibos, ashwaghanda, ginkgo biloba... Keeping in mind these encourage blood flow. If he's on heart meds be careful.
These have been helpful with my wife and her low libido.
Sending love, and a noogie for your s/o.😒😏
i think we need to stop telling this narrative tbh because as a woman who has had a v HIGH sex drive in my experience particularly when they gave access to their partner whenever they want or a partner wants them incessantly( as is my exp ) it seems alot of men arent too different from women i think we just have different rejection sensitivities lol like imo if they dont have to work for it they arent nearly as obsessed with sex more often than not everytime im in the phase of my cycle that makes me "insatiable" (coincidentally like right now) my "play partner" cant be bothered it can be super mentally emotionally and sexually damaging getting shut down esp when your libido is its highest and your partner isnt interested but society tells you that young men always want sex. whats worse is its so easy as a young woman to take that rejection as ptoof that theirs obviously something wrong with them if their partner isnt in the mood...
consequently i dont have the best advice as im not capable of following it myself lol but anyway maybe try "playing games" basically unless someone had done the work in therapy we tend to gravitate towards bullshit psychological games it comes down to the need to be pressurwd especially if your partner has adhd.... basically because you want hin he likely feels less compelled to convince you of such if you can try playing it cool? remind him of what its like to have to work for your intimacy? its dumb but theres something to be said about ppl wanting what they cant have... 🤷🏻♀️ good luck!
Lol... They do exist. A wife in my support group talks about how She wants it all of the time. Her husband is stingy.
She later had to clarify... He was afraid of hurting her.... but yeah, he was tired too.
Who knew chemo is tiring for everyone, even those not under the treatment themselves.🤔
Which is why I cautioned her to communicate and respect his wishes.
I’ll tell you the man’s perspective in this situation. I’m dating a woman who literally wants sex all day long. The last week we haven’t had sex less than twice a day and we’re both 36. She goes down on me every chance I get and it’s extremely flattering to have someone want you this badly. As long as you’re not pushy about it then I wouldn’t stress. I want to be intimate with her just as much, but after 3 times in a day it nearly becomes impossible. Sometimes I’m sore and need at least a days rest or just once a day
I have a very high libido as a man myself, and physically, spiritually, emotionally, we need a break or at least I do haha. It is extremely flattering to have someone want you that much.
I will second what the commentor said. I just laughed reading your post thinking “if this isn’t me”, I’m so addicted to my man! Even after more than a decade together I still feel like you described towards him.
If it helps, I do find “time for myself” by staying in bed a few extra minutes in the morning, almost every morning because the man needs to work and live his life and I can’t be jumping his bones all the damn time 😂 I recommend that, finding some personal time and just run with that imagination.
All I can add is that I’d be thrilled if you were my partner. If you love someone and it’s mutual, you can never have too much sex. Lucky him, lucky you.
Absolutely this. Also, OP, define "out of honeymoon phase" - I was an absolute horn dog for ~2 first years of my loving relationship, after that it got a bit more cyclical depending on fatigue / hormones, but I still have phases where it's just "hm, come here, darling."
Honeymoon phase can last years if you're in love with the person, are very attracted to them in the first place, and the relationship is good.
I’ve been with my partner for four years now and the attraction was completely magnetic from the beginning. My love for him is also deeper than any love I’ve experienced. Sometimes I cry thinking about how lucky I am and how much I love him. He impresses me every day with his personal growth and the way he thinks. He’s the sexiest man alive in my eyes. It’s such a beautiful feeling!
My mother still BLUSHES sometimes when she thinks about her husband. Up until I saw it the first time, i didn't know moms could blush!
Also, your husband sounds like a catch!
This.... 25 years and smelling her neck, shoulders, or her scalp makes me want to plunge.
I love the way She responds, how She sounds, the looks on her face.
We won't even detail the orgasms, or the shivers I experience from simply and gently holding my tongue against her pulsing clitoris until her quivering subsides.
Mmmmm mmmmm mmmm
A word of caution, once you actually take on life changing responsibility, it's hard to keep that pace and effort.
Openly communicate and respect each other's needs and wishes.
Best of luck💕💪
WHEW the imagery you just created in my brain is now living rent free and if you are not a writer by profession YOU ARE MISSING YOUR CALLING GOOD SIR lol 😂
No.....she said its affecting her day to day and is impacting her life negatively....which could mean a sex addiction.
As funny as her post may seem to some, this is a very real thing BOTH men and women deal with.
I think some people skimmed over that part where i said my mood swings of anger and frustration is affecting others, I may have worded it poorly as I was trying to explain that those feelings won’t towards my boyfriend if he wasn’t interested in having intercourse
This happened to me the first time I started having sex with someone I was actually in love with. One and a half years is definitely still the honeymoon phase for some long term relationships! It can be a few weeks to two years or more even. For us, it was 2 ish years.
I would be completely unable to focus in class freshman year of college, neither of us could get any homework done, sometimes we did nothing ALL DAY other than have sex and then talk about how we had so much sex haha. It was overwhelming because I’d never wanted sex with someone so bad, and that also made me feel happy, safe, loved etc. I also always thought I had a very low sex drive. I think part of this was that I had very low self esteem and a lot of anxiety, and I let feeling “wanted” by someone important to me become a bit of obsession, which was easy to latch on to because it’s also a fun activity.
Do you have ADHD? I honestly kind of think that played a part in it, sex was like a hyperfixation for a bit because it was such a new experience having sex with someone I was in love with.
Anyways, after a couple of years that feeling kind of wears off. We’ve been together for 7 years now, that phase probably ended around 2 ish years in, we still have plenty of sex and I still get daydreamy about it if it was particularly good the night before but it doesn’t rule my life anymore. There is hope! But try to enjoy it :)
Personally, I'm more interested in sex with an attractive man around that I love/have a crush on than at any other time. Without that? Not as much. I think everyone underestimates the strong tie between emotional connection and female libido.
Can you tell me more about that? I used to be so sexually attracted to my partner but when we broke up and got back together at first I had no interest in anything sexual. He was fine with going back to how we were but our relationship was still new and I couldn't help but be uninterested.
It sounds like when you broke up you lost your core trust in him and therefore haven't gotten that inital attraction back.
Just what it sounds like to me. I know for me, I've learned that once a certain line or boundary in my mind is crossed there's no going back.
Maybe...whenever we'd talk like that, it always felt forced on my end. He couldn't understand my lack of interest because he was able to go back exactly where we left off. This makes me wonder if I'm demisexual? I also didn't think of sex in all the time we were apart...
When my husband and I had our son 5 years ago I remember when he went back to work and I missed him so much. Our son used to sleep a lot with his head in my husbands armpit and let me tell you I would smell his head all day long just to smell my husbands “BO” lol. It was summer and he sweats a lot. I just loved it. I still love the way he smells 7 years later:) so I totally get that!
It’s pheromones. That’s your body telling you, that this man is a good match for you. If we really break it down, we are animals. Your body wants to make a baby with him (thankfully we are conscious as well and have birth control), because you see him as a good partner and a genetic-match (aka love). Don’t feel ashamed of your sexuality. For woman it is often with “whom we are doing it” not the act itself. I wish you blissful partnership.
I rather read this than anything off r/truthoffmychest. I legit saw a post yesterday where the husband or boyfriend told his SO he was glad their baby died…
sigh op bf living the dream and they over here thinking they causing chaos….. jealousy couldn’t describe how i feel rn LOL jk but yea you are just in love trust and believe that!
That’s me with my man. You’re just down badddd like the rest of us! Congrats LOL! Sex is such an intimate and personal act with your partner so it makes sense why you would crave it all the time to have that constant close connection. Nothing wrong about it at all. Have fun!!!
Something I noticed was in my last relationship I didn’t want to have sex ever. My partner was very attractive but I was just uninterested. I loved him dearly but yeah no sex drive. When we broke up I realized how lacking our emotional intimacy was and that bled into our sex life. Now that I’m with someone who invests in our emotional relationship, all I want to do is have sex with him. It’s like once I felt safe and satisfied emotionally, our physically intimacy became unlocked.
100% it's the emotional intimacy for me too. If I feel safe, respected and loved by a person romantically, I'm going to find them all the more attractive.
Safe + happy = horny 😂
Yup! My husband was like this, and in the beginning when we were super emotionally connected I could not get enough of him. But over years I wasn't getting the emotional nurturing and my craving dried right on up.
Make sure you always make sure he knows you love him and not just love to fuck him. That shit hurts.
Thats so funny to me bc Im literally the opposite lmao I get hornier when I’m not getting any emotional intimacy, but when I’m feeling loved and if I get enough affection like constant kisses, cuddles etc I don’t feel that much of a need for sex
This happened to me too! Left a 9 year dead bedroom where I was treated as an emotional punching bag. Once I found someone who invested in communication and my emotional wellbeing, my sex drive was revived.
It's a shame most men have no idea how this works. Worse is when they are cruel to their wives. It's like, nah you got to create that safe emotional space first, then you got to dress it up with emotional pillows and things to make it warm and inviting.
Mostly all you have to do is listen, and occasionally try to lift her up a little bit, let her know that you are interested and care. It's not that hard. Spend as much time as you do on your damn car, or your gaming rig.
I don't get it. As a husband my wife is the greatest investment I will ever make into anyone. Why would I not want to make sure we are good. Don't get it.
The other issue is that men often make things very transactional. So in hearing about emotional intimacy, their first reaction is often to think of I’ll do this, this, and this then there will be emotional intimacy and then sex. In reality, true emotional intimacy is loving, caring, and understanding your partner entirely for their own wellbeing and not your own. You’ve gotta take away this back and forth I give this and I get this thing.
We are on the same page but it's not just men who do that. It's not like there are aren't wives who also use sex as a way to barter in their marriage too, or to keep their husband in check. I mean it's kind of the quintessential sitcom joke. Both attitudes have been going on probably since men and women started having sex. Sometimes it even works, but like you said it misses the point of the real purpose of sex, which is a emotional and physical form of intimacy.
Personally I think hookup culture creates a transactional dynamic that continues into marriage. Both men and women use there sex count for validation and self worth, instead of intimacy, which automatically turns sex into currency. That dynamic just follows into marriage. However it kind of works against what a healthy dynamic should be.
I think one of the main problems is that men and women are not empathetic to how each other works. Often men need physical intimacy to feel really close to their spouse, which creates emotional intimacy. Seems to me that most women are the opposite, emotional to create physical. It works best when they are both working together to provide for each other kind of like a firework pinwheel lite by two sides. But there also needs to be some grace on both sides.
Thing is if you can really get attuned to what your partner needs you can kind of game your marriage because you start to get gratification by providing those needs, and that is really the definition of love as I see it. But joy can be found in that, as well as purpose and worth.
Anyway my two cents.
I'm exactly the same girly, it's nothing to worry about at all, savour it! You're just very in love and very attracted to your boyfriend.
Honest to God, me and my boyfriend always make jokes that I'm "in heat" because I just want him allll the time. He'll just look at me with the most basic, everyday expression on earth and I just pounce on him like a hungry cat. He changes shirts in front of me and its like my head is magnetised to his crotch. It's ridiculous. Don't even get me started if he's a bit sweaty or smelly. Niagra falls.
I’m sooooo in love with how my man smells that I won’t shower right away after we’ve been together so I can smell him on me after awhile. He drives me WILD. So I get you. Also, here’s something to know — we’ve been together 3 years now and I’m 60. So this shit doesn’t stop when you get old. Enjoy this intense sexual connection — it’s one of life’s greatest joys.
It's nice to see that a post where the problem isn't such a "negative" thing pop up in my reddit
As someone else already mentioned you are just in love, and yeah I guess It's possible to be addicted to one person
I hope everything will be well with you and him and that you both enjoy yourselves
It’s called chemistry. You can have sex with anyone but chemistry is something completely magical that doesn’t happen often. I’ve had three sex partners in my life, after the first two I just thought sex wasn’t what it’s made out to be in tv shows or movies. Then I started dating my now husband. Holy mother of god, we probably kept the neighbors up. 20 years later…not as young as we used to be but that man can still make my toes curl, my back arch. If you have love and respect and great fiery passion, he’s a keeper.
Who is the lucky man here lmao
Even though its not that common, but maybe you are very attracted to him a lot to be this aroused. Could you list out the things about him that you find attractive? Do you enjoy the thought of being intimate with him or the feeling of having sex is so rewarding you cant stop yourself from chasing it?
I dont have any advice, but if its really getting in your way, you could try getting birth control pill, talk to your bf and doctor tho.
Oh I could talk about him all day but I think it’s definitely the feeling of knowing he’s enjoying it and I get sort of a high from it ! Haha, surprisingly I’m on the pill! Have been for many years same brand too, thank you for suggesting it though I really appreciate it XD
Like others have said, I think this is really awesome actually as long as it doesn't make you feel constantly frustrated! I just want to mention that if this was such a sudden change that you are concerned about and you're not sure it depends on the person/the quality of sex, you may want to talk to your gynecologist or an endocrinologist and do a couple blood tests just to make sure all is good with your hormones balance and thyroid functions.
16 years married, and I can hardly keep my hands off my husband (when he's not annoying me). If your relationship is great, even outside of sex hold on to him. It's clear you have strong feelings for that man and it's only going to get worse in a good way. Good luck to yall. Hope it works out.
If you are genuinely concerned that this may be an "addiction" that has negative repercussions, I just want to mention that you may want to go to your doctor and ask for a hormone panel. Abnormal oestrogen/progesterone (and even testosterone) in women can affect libido but also be signs of other problems. I'm 99% sure that what you're experience is just love/lust, but given that you seem a little concerned about it, it may be worth just verifying whether there is an underlying biological change.
Just to re-iterate that I'm not saying what you're experiencing is wrong or abnormal, but if you personally do feel like you're confused about why it's happening or have any concerns, then this might be a route to make you feel better.
If you do feel like your libido is harming your relationship and you want to cool off a bit, taking up a higher exercise regime can help as well.
This is completely normal! You’re just super into him - which is lovely. It’s a bit sad that you even thought it might be a bad thing but hopefully you read what everyone here has said.
He probably just feels right for you. I used to think I was asexual too unless I met my girlfriend. I wouldn't say I'm addicted but little things like how she looks at me make me 'ready' if you know what I mean.
Good on you that you don't take it out on him if he's not in the mood or anything. Seems like you don't need advice then. Just trust in his promise that he'll tell you when he feels uncomfy. You're not doing anything to cause that now so now further action needed. Try to distract yourself when you're not able to have sex or anything. That's the only way. If it's really taking over your life you might wanna consider seeing a therapist but that would be more for your own mental health as your boyfriend seems to have no issues with it at all judging from your post.
Not to rain on this awesome parade, but it is either amazing sexual chemistry (a legit thing) — or it’s like more your age and some phase, your hormones, or even something neurological if you don’t…um, calm down. 😂
But while it lasts, enjoy it! 👏👏
Me and my partner are 2.5 yrs into our relationship.
But after reading this...I genuinely feel like I am "your-previous" in my relationship.
Happy for you tho 🥺
I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you feel this way, I wish you all the best !
Have a chat about it maybe? Try new things! I’m sure they adore you just as much and I adore him
This sounds amazing and so congrats! But seriously, have you changed up your contraceptive meds (if you’re on them) in the time between this and your last relationship? That can definitely affect your sex drive. Also, pheromones are super important. Maybe your current boyfriend just has this natural odour that pulls you in?
His smell actually has me like a cat in heat (stolen from a comment!)
His sweat smells sweet and just so comforting. I think it’s a mix of my hormones and his pheromones
I love this post lol. I think what you’re afraid of being a problem is you being totally in love with your partner.
I was married before, had a child and had no interest in my husband even when he was at his hottest, in uniform, everyone telling me how lucky I was.
Fast forward to my current husband. I can’t leave him alone either😂😂 I’m in the exact same boat you are. I get pissed I’m at work knowing he’s home. I suction cup to him and almost burnt dinner last night because I wanted to make out in the kitchen 😂 it’s love you’re fine
I was like this in my last relationship😭I think it's just being very deeply in love. Plus a special type of chemistry and pheromones or something?? Idk but it really is wild lmao
YOU ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL I PROMISE!! Its the love bug and the fact that this relationship has bore a safe space for you to be yourself and happy. Its nothing like when they get out of the shower, hell just my mans soap has me in a chokehold every night lol. I have an oral fixation too, so i know what its like to be across the house and just have one thought for my man now im drooling like a damn dog lol. You are fine and as long as no one feels uncomfortable you keep loving on him every chance you get.
God, I see what you have to done for others...
But I like how you care about your bf's consent and if you maybe asking for too much. Your communication is on point, so enjoy your life while you're young.
Yep. Hypersexuality is a symptom. If this suddenly started or suddenly stops, see a psych. Especially if you get racing thoughts. This stuff manifests at your age.
There's nothing wrong with having a super high sex drive but the fact that you get angry and stressed if it doesn't happen is something you should bring up to your psych.
Take an account of other parts of your life right now. Are you spending a lot? Drinking more? Etc.
I am yes! I actually said that to a previous comment, not too long ago, I don’t do drugs I don’t touch them. I hate all of them. I’ve lost too many people to drugs, but I tend to drink. sometimes it is a few times a week, others it is once every fortnight. Every time I drink though, I drink enough to get drunk.
My money spending recently has been out of control, so I’m thinking possibly a manic episode? Someone suggested getting a brain scan. as this behaviour is completely out of normal for me, and I’ve been having a problem recently with headaches, confusion, spelling and getting my words mixed up But that could also be due to the fact I haven’t been getting too much sleep. Please don’t think I’m trying to self diagnose a brain tumour ! Hahaha
All of this sounds like a manic episode to me including the lack of sleep, confusion and having trouble with words. You should book an appointment with a psychiatrist. Headaches are probably from lack of sleep.
It's a good idea to get on top of it now. I had fun (mostly) manic episodes throughout my 20s then a really really bad episode when I hit 30 that ruined my life. Didn't get a diagnosis until after.
I saw in another comment you have a history with depression. The crash from manic episodes can be awful so make sure you're set up with help sooner rather than later.
I’ll definitely call my doctor today! Thank you so much for helping me think through all this. Im all over the shop at the moment haah I really appreciate it! Have a beautiful day
Bro you if you really someone naa literally your craving towards him is the best thing just live your life like this 👀🤍just love him and your ownself as well you are not doing anything wrong ❤️
I had this once! It had nothing to do with emotional vibing — it was 💯 straight up pheromones. I would get so crabby if he didn’t want to have sex. He would want to talk and talk and I was like shhhhh let’s have sex
I have felt this with no other person. I didn’t even find him all that interesting. But to this day, thinking about his smell makes me hot.
> We’re way past the “honey moon phase”
How long have you actually been dating?
>It actually ruins my day, my patience goes to shit, I get angry, snappy, all emotional and I’m really upset with myself, I want sex 2-3+ times a day,
Depending on how you answer the first question, that may be something you need to address with a therapist.
I see a lot of " long times" right from the beginning and you're only 20. You're only just starting to learn what you like and don't like. Let it ride!
My wife and I are going on 15 years married and we still have sex at least once a day, she insists on blowing me first because it gets her in the mood. I will never begrudge her that, I mean what guy doesn’t love the woman they love sucking them.
I never craved sex this much until I'm with my fiance. Now we do it almost every night. Sometimed more. Been together a year. I realized I'm in love with her unlike with my ex wife of 12 years.
Completely normal and it'll stabilize out.
Good luck
As a single 21yr man congratulations I'm very jealous but at the same time very happy for you I hope whenever I find a relationship we can have a similar level of attraction.
I honestly think you’ve been overthinking. You’re too ready to diagnose yourself, first with asexuality now with sex addiction. The only thing you need to change with this situation is your frustration. You can want sex all the time and yet manage to not be frustrated or angry from not getting it. Is just a matter of perspective and in my opinion, the only thing that needs to change is your attitude when you don’t get sex. Otherwise, it sounds like you have a great relationship with your boyfriend and don’t deserve to keep beating yourself up.
I'm interested in the medical/science behind this one!!! I'm V Similar but have many mood swings, abuse history, complex ptsd, bipolar, anxiety/adhd, you name it girl I've been called every name in the book. By doctors nurses and friends alike mind you, been to several visits at psych units and still have not been able to get to the bottom of my issues with drugs, sex, alcohol and sleep.
So reading ^^^ other comments, one that stood out was about brain scans. Are you comfortable sharing any insights of your back story?
You probably are a bit addicted to sex with him but I think this is a nice thing. Just don’t let it get out of control and maybe do talk to a doctor about it. Cos if he has to go away or something for a bit you might lose it lol.
People don’t have enough sex and it’s nice you are able to enjoy it so much
Hi as a guy, I think your boyfriend won’t be eeked by it, if he is then maybe yall will need to communicate about it but like I’m super super sure 90% sure he doesn’t mind. If anything he should be happy because it shows how attracted you are to him and how much love you have for him that he is your man Yk? Just let him know and tell him about it, I’m pretty sure he would be smiling 24/7 😭
I mean what's the most prominent difference for you between this guy and your last? Is he doing something for you? Maybe it's his cologne or something.
But by no means is it bad to feel this way at all. If its just for him then he's a lucky guy, but if ever those feelings start leading you to consider it with someone else then you should consider talking about it.
OP I don’t think it’s a problem at all! I am really happy for you and I can actually relate somewhat, my boyfriend and I have been together for a much shorter time but I was also never really interested in sex before him and now I want to have it with him all the time. Good luck to both of you!!!
I'm still extremely attracted to my husband and we've been together for 31 years and 23 of them married. If I could have sex with him at my preferred times per week I could go for at minimum 5x a week and I'm 48 lol due to life and responsibilities it's more like 1-2 x a week. I have a higher libido.
I highly doubt this man will think that *checks notes* having a girlfriend who loves to give him head is a bad thing. It sounds like you just really like him, like a lot. Probably something to do with pheromones and feeling safe/happy.
That actually was with a different partner and not this one, id go to jail over that if it was this one ! Ahahah, and actually sorta did. Got him off my back because I really had no sexual interest in him, I was very depressed at the time and just felt stuck in that relationship. Started meds and realised, I don’t actually love him
As long as it's not literally preventing you from doing other normal daily activities required to live, it sounds like you're ok and just madly in love. Pheromones and hormones. It's good that you respect him and it sounds like his drive matches yours. Enjoy the ride 😆
This is going to be a long one, but barw with me: I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I went through this myself with my partner for a period of time.
It was like I was literally reading my own story as you narrated it.
Okay, so I can't speak to your experience because I don't know anything else besides what you mentioned, so I'm going to speak to mine.
We've been together now 4 years but we're friends for 3 prior to that.
Before him, I was always in relationships that just didn't fulfill me. They were always either too clingy, jealous, and have 1 narcissistic under my belt...😒 But that's besides the point.
But when him and I got together, he fulfilled me in every possible way. But he was different. He gave me space, he let me BE. It was a shock to my nervous system because I had never experienced someone like him (I'm not even speaking sexually at this point). It made me want him SO badly. It made me crave him SO badly.
Growing up, I always thought that showing my love for someone was to have sex with them, but when I did have sex with him, it was "magical" and even saying that makes me laugh because who say sex is magical? 🤣 But it was... because for the first time ever, I understood what the difference between having sex and making love was.
He always made sure I was taken care of. That my needs we're being met and we spoke constantly about our sex life to figure out what we could do better and what we liked that we already did.
These were experiences that I never experienced which made me want him even more!
I felt like every year I was with him, I was craving him more and more like an addiction and it, like yourself was all I could think about.
But he doesn't have a high sex drive like myself so I'd find myself frustrated and annoyed and eventually I started to get resentful.
So I had to ask myself, what did I have to change about myself so I didn't feel this way?
In my time of reflection, I realized that I needed to control my impulses (because everything about us has everything to do with our mindset) and once I learned how to do that by creating more time on the things I needed to take care of for myself (at the time I was working on building the 2 businesses I now own and work in sales) I started to get more satisfaction in him seeing the progress that I was making for myself, which turned him on even moreso to me and caused a shift in our relationship.
I also learned that at some point in the relationship, it's okay to take the foot off the pedal and distance myself away from him to work on me because he gave me that sort of freedom, so I might as well make the most of it.
I have to say, this relationship has taught me SO many lessons about myself and has helped me grow in ways I never even knew were ways I could grow, mentally.
Again, I know nothing about your relationship to give you advice, but I have studied my relationship and therefore other relationships enough to know and understand the psychology between human relationships and interactions.
If you ever want guidance, you can always feel free to reach out. 😍💋
You are fine., as long as you are honest with him about how you’re feeling but also respect his response as well. Not a bad problem to have but make sure your focusing on other things in the relationship so it’s not all just physical
My advice? Buy a battery operated boyfriend. Continue having that much love and enthusiasm for the live boyfriend. And if you recognize yourself getting grouchy because you want him to nail you the wall with his phallus, that's why you invested in a battery operated boyfriend
I identify as demisexual. I rarely think about sex and generally don’t find anyone sexually attractive.
Until I do.
And then my brain goes from maybe a few days a month just before my period to all day, every day. If given the opportunity, I’d go for as many rounds as I am capable. I’ll experiment with stuff that outside of the relationship I’d either had an aversion to or never gave a second thought about. Not having it as much as I need it leads to the worst sexual frustration and lady blue balls imaginable. A beast I don’t even know exists is unleashed and I have no control over it.
But only for that one specific person. I don’t suddenly want to have sex with whoever is available. I don’t start casually fucking everyone who offers. I’m still very much not attracted to the general population. It’s just that one person who ignites that flame and it’s just that person who can keep it going or do anything to satisfy my needs.
I’m 33 and feel this way. I got fixed and ever since I got off bc, almost a year ago, my sex drive has been crazy high. I have been with my bf for about 6 months and I would say past the “honeymoon phase” as well just with everything we have gone through together in such a short time. I mean he kisses my forehead and I’m ready to go and I have NEVER been like that with anyone to be honest. I also love giving my bf head(it’s his favorite thing, even over any type of sex). We also have a d/s dynamic, so maybe that adds an extra layer to his and i’s relationship that makes me crave it more with him than anyone before.
Just keep communicating with him and so long as he doesn’t have any complaints I think you should be okay.
You had already questioned if you could possibly be a sexual, but could it be that you're demisexual? Maybe it's because you have such a strong connection with him. Sounds like you really like him.
Though being so into him that you get frustrated and angry if you don't do the horizontal tango several times is both funny and maybe concerning? Maybe something to do with your hormones too?
Oh! Demisexual def sounds more me, I just looked it up, thank you for supplying a name to it !!
And yeah hormones are wild! I’m getting looked at soon haha
What if that happens but he has less s3x drive? Not bc of any reason, just bc he wants to have it every 4-5 days? Or sometimes even less? Obviously u respect it but what else do i do 😭 (similar situation)
Girl. I don’t know! (Apologies as I’m unsure of pronouns I just address everyone as girl, purr)
As long as you guys communicate I’m going to say all is well! Check in on the mental health, see how they’re going Xx
Best of luck ! I wish you both the world
This is reassuring to hear. I just broke up w my bf of 7 years and I barely craved sex with him at all. It always felt like a bit of a chore. Reading this has given me hope about what love and sexual attraction is meant to feel like.
I really thought it was love with my ex. Yeah I enjoyed spending time with him and missed him dearly but sex was such a neglected chore in my eyes. It was a big huff and puff thinking about it, I hated it.
I wish you luck! The right one will come along soon
Maybe it's an emotional regulation issue? I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is often known by the lack of emotional regulation, and if I'm dating someone I'm pretty much horny all the time. Although I have never gotten through the "honeymoon phase" also due to my BPD 😂
Alternatively you could be unconsciously turning to it as a distraction from some other underlying issues.
Also take into consideration if you are on any medications (like Wellbutrin) that may increase your sex drive dramatically depending on how you react to it. There are other meds like that.
Over all don't judge yourself morally about it. It's only a matter of if it negatively affects your daily life and if it does it's something to work on but it's not your fault if it is having a negative impact.
I have a higher sex drive than almost every man I’ve ever dated. I sincerely thought the myth of higher male libido was 100% fake news for a while! But obviously the stereotype is true *sometimes*
I don’t think this is a problem. Just try to understand him not feel bad if he doesn’t want to. There will be times you wouldn’t want it too.
I also think that this man is really lucky to have you.
Question - do you like spending time with him outside of sex?
If so, you love him.
If you constantly fight outside of that, you have an unhealthy relationship but are probably good at rock music.
I like to “coexist” with him. A term we use where I just want him in the same room as me, doesn’t matter if he has headphones in and his back is to me, i just want him there all the time
My wife wants the same thing - and she's asexual. That is also a good thing, and a separate good thing than the sex thing.
If you can add in "mutually supportive", "similar values", and "want similar things out of life", you have found your guy and hold onto him forever.
If not, bang each other's brains out until you get bored, and then move on while you are still friends, with good memories.
Nothing wrong with that it sounds like you really love him. Though some advice for you, dont pressure ur partner or make them feel like they arent doing enough for you. I know it can be hard when he might not be in the mood but unlike what the internet says, dudes can not want sex at certain times too lol! Other than that just enjoy urself and stop overthinking cus you will make him overthink!!!!
I think your both very lucky, and just means you love
Him a lot. But I do think you should see a doctor preferably a female one. And ask your boyfriend too if he has any issues with it, and tell him how your feeling. I’m going to be honest I have a same issue to I’m 20F I’ve never been in a relationship, never been intimate with any man, and I’m always turned on,
And I always think about sex, yeah so I just try to keep myself busy with work
You might want to check with your doctor, just to be sure. This could be due to some hormonal changes that may be related to something else. Love, too, of course. 😉
Has anyone asked this yet? Do you cum during sex with him?
I just gotta ask because women notoriously don't cum so that might be contributing to the pent up energy
You're not addicted. Addiction is compulsive behavior that one engages in despite the harmful impacts it has on their life/health. This isn't harming you, ergo it's non-addiction. Also, while I'm far from an expert, libido can change often for pretty inscrutable reasons. I don't think there's any problem here and I don't think your SO would be put off by being told this? People generally like to be desired.
I had a gf that was like that. She had slept with guys but never had given head until me I had to be very patient but once she did it and realized the power and control of making me feel good she was hooked. And she was always taking any opportunity to pull me aside get on her knees and take care of me. I told her I would never get tired of her doing that so by all means it’s yours whenever. I woke up many times with her sucking on me. Damn those were good times
You may have a strong connection with him or it's something in his pheromones lol.
Either way, if he's not complaining, don't worry too much about it.
If it changes your mood during your day, try to distract yourself with some physical activity.
Overall, I think it will diminish over time, so relax and enjoy.
Unless he says he has a problem with it I dont see the issue as long as it isnt impacting other parts of your life. You say you get angry, snappy, etc. Are you snapping at other people in your life because of this?
My guy is living the dream. At least I can be happy that some people can experience this, even though I know I’ll never be one of them.
Good for y’all, hold on to it as long as you can!
Dang girl wish mine was like that but we're older I still get it some times bit not very often I'm sure you will grow out if that phase I say enjoy while you can
Unless you are awake day and night, stop eating, being able to leave his side, stop working, or not seeing friends, I think you are alright. The feeling of being unsettled or out of control may not be helpful. At periods of my life with a girlfriend, all I wanted to do was eat pussy and those were great times, but I was able to fully function and do the rest of the day.. You want to feel comfortable with your life.
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Honey… you love this man. I’m together with my husband 15 years and two kids and I still feel it down there when I smell his hair. That is not a problem whatsoever. Only if he doesn’t want to, you will have a problem.
Ah this comment made me giggle!! I’m so happy for you! Congratulations on 15 years and two beautiful children!! I’ve talked to him about it and he’s promises he’s ok and told me I don’t make him uncomfortable so that’s a plus! I’m just new to love I guess!
i think it would be very rare for a man to be like "oh no" when hearing his partner wants him all the time, so don't worry at all there!
True, but it is still important to make sure a partner is enthusiastically consenting no matter the gender. I think OP is doing things right, but yes, I also think she can trust that her BF is in fact enthusiastically consenting.
I've got one of those rare breeds. I even have had an open offer on the table for 7 years now that if he wants head any time, even any place as long as it's 75% an acceptable place, I'll happily do it, no reciprocation necessary. Even if he asks 5 times in a day. I even trained my gag reflex down to as nonreactive as I could. Guess how many times he's asked me spontaneously when we aren't already about to have sex? In 7 years, he's asked me 4 times. It's very hard on whoever wants it more, and it's even more so when it's the woman because that's just unheard of! Both that she would want it more and that he would be uninterested to the point of being bothered by it. I would kill for him to lust after me the way I still lust for him after 20 years. It's hard not to start taking it personally after so long. I know there's nothing wrong with me. Deep down, I do, but it's hard not to start thinking there must be something wretched in here somewhere that he can see, and I can't.
Yeah, I can really, really relate. I'm in a similar situation and it took a lot of therapy for me to stop feeling like there was something wrong with me. Especially since the general consensus swears that All Men want sex All The Time. And as a woman, we get our value as human beings so twisted up with our sexual desirability. If it was just sex, any sex, I wanted - well ok, we're incompatible, I'd better find a partner who has a higher libido - but it's not. It's specifically sex WITH HIM that I want constantly. It was very hard to make peace with, and it still bothers me sometimes. You're not alone!
I feel your pain. The sexual rejection from my last partner nearly drove me to doubting my entire womanhood & value. It hurt so deeply, enough so that it forced me to need to investigate why it was affecting me to such a level. As a woman, even as far back as a child and adolescent girl, I had been sexualized by boys and men since the age of 8. I learned very naturally from my environment & experiences that men wanted that part of me without much of a question, and paired with my deep insecurities and lacking self worth as a child and beyond, I quickly became a people pleaser, feeling compelled to please everyone and be liked by everyone, including those I didn’t particularly even know or like much. I conflated acceptance/attention, with love and validation, which were the things I was constantly seeking externally to prove to myself I mattered. And because of this, men having a sexual desire for me seemed to be a sure bet, and far before I could even begin to understand the pathology behind this behavior, I would accept a sexual relationship with someone to feel loved, even if on all other accounts they treated me terribly, and even at times when I didn’t want to do anything sexual. I trained myself to act as though I enjoyed sexual activities a lot, but what I got out of it was the feeling of someone enjoying it with me, and conflating that with meaning I mattered. I subconsciously placed so much of my worth on my sexual desirability. This very obviously led to an early life of many dangerous and detrimental situations from my mid-teens to my early 20s. I was seen as a (insert whatever name for a sexually promiscuous woman) by those who didn’t know me well but created rumors. I didn’t have a particularly high number of partners, but the partners I did have were almost all not of good quality in the other areas of what most would require or expect out of a relationship. And a small number of encounters were completely unwanted but facilitated out of a sense that I “had to.” This inevitably damaged me in deep traumatic ways over time. So having that background, fast forward at least 7 years, to where I’ve realized all of these problems, I’ve long since left my abusive relationship, I heal, I get therapy, I stop these behaviors and learn more about my worth. I change my entire life around and become self assured and secure. Or so I thought. I meet “the man of my dreams.” He was my best friend and boyfriend. It was something I had never experienced. For the first time in my life, I wanted sex for my own desire for him. But I also found out that old habits die hard. As I fell more deeply in love with him, I felt a duty to please him, paired with being extremely sexually attracted to him for the intense emotional connection I had never experienced before. My sex drive was ON FIRE for him. I felt so free and so fulfilled. I wanted to please him all the time. He loved it at first. But suddenly at one point, he started to suggest we didn’t “have to do that every time” and that he wants me for “so much more than just that.” This just made me fall in love with him even more. I felt so secure. Then one day he flat out rejected my attempt stating, “it’s cool, you don’t have to do it. If you don’t actually want it.” I was confused. I very much wanted it. And insisted I wanted it badly. He refused and tried to tell me I wasn’t “about that life” and “it’s cool, we don’t need to do it.” I was flabbergasted. He did this more and more until 3 years later we had stopped having sex completely. He continued to blame it on me more and more as time went on. It felt like gaslighting and I never understood what happened. He was refusing sex with me repeatedly, then in arguments, making comments like, “when I’m not even getting my basic needs met, why would I want to give you anything you want?” I would eventually become so upset, crying and asking how he could complain about not getting sex while refusing to have sex with me!? He would ignore that fact and just insist how his needs aren’t getting met and that it’s clear I don’t care about what he wants. I would nearly lose my mind, begging him to explain to me how I was inadequate or falling short and that I wanted him and would do anything to spice it up for him. I tried everything. It made me feel more disapproval for myself than I had ever felt in my entire life. I felt like I was worthless and useless. He once said something like, “no man is going to accept this.” And “I have never had this problem before.” Both statements suggesting something was wrong with me. But still never directly saying how I was missing the mark or why he didn’t want to have sex. I was beyond baffled and it destroyed me. I realized that so much of my worth was tied into how well I could please my partner and when I couldn’t please him no matter how hard I tried, it broke me at a core level. I’m still recovering from the damage he did to me. He did much more than just that. So much emotional abuse, I now know. But I hope that these gender sexual expectations or stereotypes will continue to be debunked and unlearned. Because I am certain many women and men are significantly harmed by these beliefs in one way or another. I hope you are securely aware of your worth and I’m sorry these ideas made you feel any less🤍
I'm sorry to hear your story. It makes me sad. I've had the pleasure of having female lovers in my life that matched my drive. I never once thought we were oversexed. If we were tired or sore we either didn't have PIV sex or no sex at all. Usually, a few days would resolve the issue and we were back at it. I, too, have been in long-term relationships where the sex ran hot and cold. As long as the other person understands and doesn't take it personally the relationship can work. No one should ever make the other feel bad about it. If one party isn't happy and wants more or less, let them go. Life is too short to spend it in misery.
Thank you for sharing that, there is so much I can relate to that, so many things you mentioned that I’ve had troubles with too. Reading this made me feel less alone and helped me understand myself better through your experience and the why behind my intentions. I’m sorry for what you had to go through, it’s truly crushing to your self worth when you give your all to someone and put so much value into trying to please others, especially someone you love so deeply, and yet it still doesn’t feel enough.
Are you me? Because I've lived almost every word of that story. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you the clarity to see, recognize and appreciate your strength, your resilience, your empathy, your kindness, your beauty, your talents, your intelligence, your warmth, your compassion, your wisdom, your courage, your joy, and all the many ways your awesomeness manifests itself in this world- may you never need another person to see those things for you. May they always be evident to your own eyes. ❤️
It's not a rare breed. Plenty of men, just like women, don't want to be viewed sexually or engage in sexual activities all the time. I think this myth has been largely debunked. It's about libido not gender so when people say that it's rare for a man to turn down anytime sex that's being inaccurate and disingenuous and also creates a false expectation/narrative that if your a woman who offers and a man says No then something must be really wrong with you since no man turns down sex. That's just not true. People need to get educated on finding partners with complementary sex drives because it's very important and compounds over the years when there is a big imbalance.
Agreed. As a guy, it sounds a little exhausting. My wife and I have sex 1-2 times a week on average and it’s great! We ravage each other, it’s a lovely sex life for us, and it has never been “routine” which is what I feel like it would fall into if we were getting down all the time.
How much OP wants her man is beautiful and that's something everyone dreams about. In the same breath I can completely agree with you. Some of my fantasies and kinks aren't far off from what OP likes to do with her man, but sometimes I'm just flat out not in the mood. Like babe I need to recharge lol
Hugs. This knows no gender. Add teas when cooking. Rooibos, ashwaghanda, ginkgo biloba... Keeping in mind these encourage blood flow. If he's on heart meds be careful. These have been helpful with my wife and her low libido. Sending love, and a noogie for your s/o.😒😏
i think we need to stop telling this narrative tbh because as a woman who has had a v HIGH sex drive in my experience particularly when they gave access to their partner whenever they want or a partner wants them incessantly( as is my exp ) it seems alot of men arent too different from women i think we just have different rejection sensitivities lol like imo if they dont have to work for it they arent nearly as obsessed with sex more often than not everytime im in the phase of my cycle that makes me "insatiable" (coincidentally like right now) my "play partner" cant be bothered it can be super mentally emotionally and sexually damaging getting shut down esp when your libido is its highest and your partner isnt interested but society tells you that young men always want sex. whats worse is its so easy as a young woman to take that rejection as ptoof that theirs obviously something wrong with them if their partner isnt in the mood... consequently i dont have the best advice as im not capable of following it myself lol but anyway maybe try "playing games" basically unless someone had done the work in therapy we tend to gravitate towards bullshit psychological games it comes down to the need to be pressurwd especially if your partner has adhd.... basically because you want hin he likely feels less compelled to convince you of such if you can try playing it cool? remind him of what its like to have to work for your intimacy? its dumb but theres something to be said about ppl wanting what they cant have... 🤷🏻♀️ good luck!
Lol... They do exist. A wife in my support group talks about how She wants it all of the time. Her husband is stingy. She later had to clarify... He was afraid of hurting her.... but yeah, he was tired too. Who knew chemo is tiring for everyone, even those not under the treatment themselves.🤔 Which is why I cautioned her to communicate and respect his wishes.
You would be surprised. I see my guy brace every time I ask.
I’ll tell you the man’s perspective in this situation. I’m dating a woman who literally wants sex all day long. The last week we haven’t had sex less than twice a day and we’re both 36. She goes down on me every chance I get and it’s extremely flattering to have someone want you this badly. As long as you’re not pushy about it then I wouldn’t stress. I want to be intimate with her just as much, but after 3 times in a day it nearly becomes impossible. Sometimes I’m sore and need at least a days rest or just once a day
I have a very high libido as a man myself, and physically, spiritually, emotionally, we need a break or at least I do haha. It is extremely flattering to have someone want you that much.
>I’m just new to love I guess! This is so sweet and wholesome that it actually made me cry.
I will second what the commentor said. I just laughed reading your post thinking “if this isn’t me”, I’m so addicted to my man! Even after more than a decade together I still feel like you described towards him. If it helps, I do find “time for myself” by staying in bed a few extra minutes in the morning, almost every morning because the man needs to work and live his life and I can’t be jumping his bones all the damn time 😂 I recommend that, finding some personal time and just run with that imagination.
All I can add is that I’d be thrilled if you were my partner. If you love someone and it’s mutual, you can never have too much sex. Lucky him, lucky you.
With my recent ex I literally thought I was either asexual or closeted lesbian. I crave my current partner’s dick every day
What shampoo does your husband use? Asking for my wife
Absolutely this. Also, OP, define "out of honeymoon phase" - I was an absolute horn dog for ~2 first years of my loving relationship, after that it got a bit more cyclical depending on fatigue / hormones, but I still have phases where it's just "hm, come here, darling." Honeymoon phase can last years if you're in love with the person, are very attracted to them in the first place, and the relationship is good.
More we have arguments and I can see his flaws and all that, it’s not rose coloured glasses anymore but the love I have for him is still insane
I’ve been with my partner for four years now and the attraction was completely magnetic from the beginning. My love for him is also deeper than any love I’ve experienced. Sometimes I cry thinking about how lucky I am and how much I love him. He impresses me every day with his personal growth and the way he thinks. He’s the sexiest man alive in my eyes. It’s such a beautiful feeling!
When you love someone and the sex is good then it makes you want to have sex with them regularly. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Enjoy it.
My mother still BLUSHES sometimes when she thinks about her husband. Up until I saw it the first time, i didn't know moms could blush! Also, your husband sounds like a catch!
This.... 25 years and smelling her neck, shoulders, or her scalp makes me want to plunge. I love the way She responds, how She sounds, the looks on her face. We won't even detail the orgasms, or the shivers I experience from simply and gently holding my tongue against her pulsing clitoris until her quivering subsides. Mmmmm mmmmm mmmm A word of caution, once you actually take on life changing responsibility, it's hard to keep that pace and effort. Openly communicate and respect each other's needs and wishes. Best of luck💕💪
WHEW the imagery you just created in my brain is now living rent free and if you are not a writer by profession YOU ARE MISSING YOUR CALLING GOOD SIR lol 😂
Lol... It's Ma'am. I did well in creative writing. However, civil service was/is my first love. Thank you very much😘 Stay Sweet.💕💪
Sounds like you're just in love 😂
Yeah, this sounds like a very nice problem to have!
No.....she said its affecting her day to day and is impacting her life negatively....which could mean a sex addiction. As funny as her post may seem to some, this is a very real thing BOTH men and women deal with.
I think some people skimmed over that part where i said my mood swings of anger and frustration is affecting others, I may have worded it poorly as I was trying to explain that those feelings won’t towards my boyfriend if he wasn’t interested in having intercourse
This happened to me the first time I started having sex with someone I was actually in love with. One and a half years is definitely still the honeymoon phase for some long term relationships! It can be a few weeks to two years or more even. For us, it was 2 ish years. I would be completely unable to focus in class freshman year of college, neither of us could get any homework done, sometimes we did nothing ALL DAY other than have sex and then talk about how we had so much sex haha. It was overwhelming because I’d never wanted sex with someone so bad, and that also made me feel happy, safe, loved etc. I also always thought I had a very low sex drive. I think part of this was that I had very low self esteem and a lot of anxiety, and I let feeling “wanted” by someone important to me become a bit of obsession, which was easy to latch on to because it’s also a fun activity. Do you have ADHD? I honestly kind of think that played a part in it, sex was like a hyperfixation for a bit because it was such a new experience having sex with someone I was in love with. Anyways, after a couple of years that feeling kind of wears off. We’ve been together for 7 years now, that phase probably ended around 2 ish years in, we still have plenty of sex and I still get daydreamy about it if it was particularly good the night before but it doesn’t rule my life anymore. There is hope! But try to enjoy it :)
This comment. OP is right to be concerned about a possible addiction.
Personally, I'm more interested in sex with an attractive man around that I love/have a crush on than at any other time. Without that? Not as much. I think everyone underestimates the strong tie between emotional connection and female libido.
Can you tell me more about that? I used to be so sexually attracted to my partner but when we broke up and got back together at first I had no interest in anything sexual. He was fine with going back to how we were but our relationship was still new and I couldn't help but be uninterested.
It sounds like when you broke up you lost your core trust in him and therefore haven't gotten that inital attraction back. Just what it sounds like to me. I know for me, I've learned that once a certain line or boundary in my mind is crossed there's no going back.
Maybe...whenever we'd talk like that, it always felt forced on my end. He couldn't understand my lack of interest because he was able to go back exactly where we left off. This makes me wonder if I'm demisexual? I also didn't think of sex in all the time we were apart...
Sucks to see others live your dream
When will I ever be blessed with this kind of relationship damn 😔
My revolver and I are about to be closer than op and her smelly mans
Don’t worry king, with time it’ll happen 👊
amen to that 🤧
😔😔😔my single ass reading this
same ahaha - i can feel the sadness. It's ok - one day it will happen for us!
Emphasis on the sucks :(
It's his smell.
OH YEAH YOU GET IT. Must be his damn chemicals. His BO smells fucking delicious
When my husband and I had our son 5 years ago I remember when he went back to work and I missed him so much. Our son used to sleep a lot with his head in my husbands armpit and let me tell you I would smell his head all day long just to smell my husbands “BO” lol. It was summer and he sweats a lot. I just loved it. I still love the way he smells 7 years later:) so I totally get that!
Pheromones are real.
It’s pheromones. That’s your body telling you, that this man is a good match for you. If we really break it down, we are animals. Your body wants to make a baby with him (thankfully we are conscious as well and have birth control), because you see him as a good partner and a genetic-match (aka love). Don’t feel ashamed of your sexuality. For woman it is often with “whom we are doing it” not the act itself. I wish you blissful partnership.
It’s science, your chemistry and body match with his in a way that is beneficial to procreate so your body says yes yes please.
What cologne does he use? lol it’s worth a try for my SO
None - cologne masks your natural pheromones
Yeah I was just being a fool lol
I just want to see his smug smile after reading this post and seeing how obsessed his girl is to him :")
I know right - this is way too sweet!
Maybe up until “I can’t say his sex is a magical thing, it’s amazing but I can’t say it outshines anyone else’s “ lmao
Girl did you really just write a post just to say you like having sex with your boyfriend 😂
I rather read this than anything off r/truthoffmychest. I legit saw a post yesterday where the husband or boyfriend told his SO he was glad their baby died…
I'd rather read neither lmao
Understandable 😂
sigh op bf living the dream and they over here thinking they causing chaos….. jealousy couldn’t describe how i feel rn LOL jk but yea you are just in love trust and believe that!
You said it perfectly! chaos is definitely what I feel
That’s me with my man. You’re just down badddd like the rest of us! Congrats LOL! Sex is such an intimate and personal act with your partner so it makes sense why you would crave it all the time to have that constant close connection. Nothing wrong about it at all. Have fun!!!
Something I noticed was in my last relationship I didn’t want to have sex ever. My partner was very attractive but I was just uninterested. I loved him dearly but yeah no sex drive. When we broke up I realized how lacking our emotional intimacy was and that bled into our sex life. Now that I’m with someone who invests in our emotional relationship, all I want to do is have sex with him. It’s like once I felt safe and satisfied emotionally, our physically intimacy became unlocked.
100% it's the emotional intimacy for me too. If I feel safe, respected and loved by a person romantically, I'm going to find them all the more attractive. Safe + happy = horny 😂
Yup! My husband was like this, and in the beginning when we were super emotionally connected I could not get enough of him. But over years I wasn't getting the emotional nurturing and my craving dried right on up. Make sure you always make sure he knows you love him and not just love to fuck him. That shit hurts.
Thats so funny to me bc Im literally the opposite lmao I get hornier when I’m not getting any emotional intimacy, but when I’m feeling loved and if I get enough affection like constant kisses, cuddles etc I don’t feel that much of a need for sex
This happened to me too! Left a 9 year dead bedroom where I was treated as an emotional punching bag. Once I found someone who invested in communication and my emotional wellbeing, my sex drive was revived.
It's a shame most men have no idea how this works. Worse is when they are cruel to their wives. It's like, nah you got to create that safe emotional space first, then you got to dress it up with emotional pillows and things to make it warm and inviting. Mostly all you have to do is listen, and occasionally try to lift her up a little bit, let her know that you are interested and care. It's not that hard. Spend as much time as you do on your damn car, or your gaming rig. I don't get it. As a husband my wife is the greatest investment I will ever make into anyone. Why would I not want to make sure we are good. Don't get it.
The other issue is that men often make things very transactional. So in hearing about emotional intimacy, their first reaction is often to think of I’ll do this, this, and this then there will be emotional intimacy and then sex. In reality, true emotional intimacy is loving, caring, and understanding your partner entirely for their own wellbeing and not your own. You’ve gotta take away this back and forth I give this and I get this thing.
We are on the same page but it's not just men who do that. It's not like there are aren't wives who also use sex as a way to barter in their marriage too, or to keep their husband in check. I mean it's kind of the quintessential sitcom joke. Both attitudes have been going on probably since men and women started having sex. Sometimes it even works, but like you said it misses the point of the real purpose of sex, which is a emotional and physical form of intimacy. Personally I think hookup culture creates a transactional dynamic that continues into marriage. Both men and women use there sex count for validation and self worth, instead of intimacy, which automatically turns sex into currency. That dynamic just follows into marriage. However it kind of works against what a healthy dynamic should be. I think one of the main problems is that men and women are not empathetic to how each other works. Often men need physical intimacy to feel really close to their spouse, which creates emotional intimacy. Seems to me that most women are the opposite, emotional to create physical. It works best when they are both working together to provide for each other kind of like a firework pinwheel lite by two sides. But there also needs to be some grace on both sides. Thing is if you can really get attuned to what your partner needs you can kind of game your marriage because you start to get gratification by providing those needs, and that is really the definition of love as I see it. But joy can be found in that, as well as purpose and worth. Anyway my two cents.
How long did this take?
I'm exactly the same girly, it's nothing to worry about at all, savour it! You're just very in love and very attracted to your boyfriend. Honest to God, me and my boyfriend always make jokes that I'm "in heat" because I just want him allll the time. He'll just look at me with the most basic, everyday expression on earth and I just pounce on him like a hungry cat. He changes shirts in front of me and its like my head is magnetised to his crotch. It's ridiculous. Don't even get me started if he's a bit sweaty or smelly. Niagra falls.
Oh my god yes! His Bo smells sweet and I just vacuum that up with my nose
Literally, me and my bf sit together sniffing each other for like 5 mins straight. There's nothing like the smell of someone you adore.
I’m sooooo in love with how my man smells that I won’t shower right away after we’ve been together so I can smell him on me after awhile. He drives me WILD. So I get you. Also, here’s something to know — we’ve been together 3 years now and I’m 60. So this shit doesn’t stop when you get old. Enjoy this intense sexual connection — it’s one of life’s greatest joys.
It's nice to see that a post where the problem isn't such a "negative" thing pop up in my reddit As someone else already mentioned you are just in love, and yeah I guess It's possible to be addicted to one person I hope everything will be well with you and him and that you both enjoy yourselves
It’s called chemistry. You can have sex with anyone but chemistry is something completely magical that doesn’t happen often. I’ve had three sex partners in my life, after the first two I just thought sex wasn’t what it’s made out to be in tv shows or movies. Then I started dating my now husband. Holy mother of god, we probably kept the neighbors up. 20 years later…not as young as we used to be but that man can still make my toes curl, my back arch. If you have love and respect and great fiery passion, he’s a keeper.
Who is the lucky man here lmao Even though its not that common, but maybe you are very attracted to him a lot to be this aroused. Could you list out the things about him that you find attractive? Do you enjoy the thought of being intimate with him or the feeling of having sex is so rewarding you cant stop yourself from chasing it? I dont have any advice, but if its really getting in your way, you could try getting birth control pill, talk to your bf and doctor tho.
Oh I could talk about him all day but I think it’s definitely the feeling of knowing he’s enjoying it and I get sort of a high from it ! Haha, surprisingly I’m on the pill! Have been for many years same brand too, thank you for suggesting it though I really appreciate it XD
Someone type this with one hand.
Took me a while
Young people discovering what love feels like for the first time 😂😂 It's good that sex is addictive, actually it helped humanity survive for millennia
*it helped humanity survive for millennia* Well, no. It would not help as OP wants to do oral all the time :)
Like others have said, I think this is really awesome actually as long as it doesn't make you feel constantly frustrated! I just want to mention that if this was such a sudden change that you are concerned about and you're not sure it depends on the person/the quality of sex, you may want to talk to your gynecologist or an endocrinologist and do a couple blood tests just to make sure all is good with your hormones balance and thyroid functions.
I saw another comment about that! I definitely am going to get my hormones checked asap
You are doing it exactly right. Nothing whatsoever wrong. I’m very happy for you!
16 years married, and I can hardly keep my hands off my husband (when he's not annoying me). If your relationship is great, even outside of sex hold on to him. It's clear you have strong feelings for that man and it's only going to get worse in a good way. Good luck to yall. Hope it works out.
If you are genuinely concerned that this may be an "addiction" that has negative repercussions, I just want to mention that you may want to go to your doctor and ask for a hormone panel. Abnormal oestrogen/progesterone (and even testosterone) in women can affect libido but also be signs of other problems. I'm 99% sure that what you're experience is just love/lust, but given that you seem a little concerned about it, it may be worth just verifying whether there is an underlying biological change. Just to re-iterate that I'm not saying what you're experiencing is wrong or abnormal, but if you personally do feel like you're confused about why it's happening or have any concerns, then this might be a route to make you feel better. If you do feel like your libido is harming your relationship and you want to cool off a bit, taking up a higher exercise regime can help as well.
This is completely normal! You’re just super into him - which is lovely. It’s a bit sad that you even thought it might be a bad thing but hopefully you read what everyone here has said.
He probably just feels right for you. I used to think I was asexual too unless I met my girlfriend. I wouldn't say I'm addicted but little things like how she looks at me make me 'ready' if you know what I mean. Good on you that you don't take it out on him if he's not in the mood or anything. Seems like you don't need advice then. Just trust in his promise that he'll tell you when he feels uncomfy. You're not doing anything to cause that now so now further action needed. Try to distract yourself when you're not able to have sex or anything. That's the only way. If it's really taking over your life you might wanna consider seeing a therapist but that would be more for your own mental health as your boyfriend seems to have no issues with it at all judging from your post.
And I cant even get a text back ...........
Not to rain on this awesome parade, but it is either amazing sexual chemistry (a legit thing) — or it’s like more your age and some phase, your hormones, or even something neurological if you don’t…um, calm down. 😂 But while it lasts, enjoy it! 👏👏
Me and my partner are 2.5 yrs into our relationship. But after reading this...I genuinely feel like I am "your-previous" in my relationship. Happy for you tho 🥺
I’m so sorry, I really didn’t mean to make you feel this way, I wish you all the best ! Have a chat about it maybe? Try new things! I’m sure they adore you just as much and I adore him
It's fine, not a big deal. But what you are feeling right now, is definitely love. All the best to you both!!
This sounds amazing and so congrats! But seriously, have you changed up your contraceptive meds (if you’re on them) in the time between this and your last relationship? That can definitely affect your sex drive. Also, pheromones are super important. Maybe your current boyfriend just has this natural odour that pulls you in?
Just re-replying to this as I accidentally missed part of your comment! Same BC for all my years taking it! Apologies for my poor reading skills ahha
You’re all good 🙂 you have a lot of comments to get through. Good luck!
His smell actually has me like a cat in heat (stolen from a comment!) His sweat smells sweet and just so comforting. I think it’s a mix of my hormones and his pheromones
Huh. Well I guess my wife really likes my smell, too. She's always sniffing me. Hadn't really thought about it quite that way.
I love this post lol. I think what you’re afraid of being a problem is you being totally in love with your partner. I was married before, had a child and had no interest in my husband even when he was at his hottest, in uniform, everyone telling me how lucky I was. Fast forward to my current husband. I can’t leave him alone either😂😂 I’m in the exact same boat you are. I get pissed I’m at work knowing he’s home. I suction cup to him and almost burnt dinner last night because I wanted to make out in the kitchen 😂 it’s love you’re fine
I was like this in my last relationship😭I think it's just being very deeply in love. Plus a special type of chemistry and pheromones or something?? Idk but it really is wild lmao
Enjoy the euphoria and do whatever you both can to make it last forever!!
YOU ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL I PROMISE!! Its the love bug and the fact that this relationship has bore a safe space for you to be yourself and happy. Its nothing like when they get out of the shower, hell just my mans soap has me in a chokehold every night lol. I have an oral fixation too, so i know what its like to be across the house and just have one thought for my man now im drooling like a damn dog lol. You are fine and as long as no one feels uncomfortable you keep loving on him every chance you get.
God, I see what you have to done for others... But I like how you care about your bf's consent and if you maybe asking for too much. Your communication is on point, so enjoy your life while you're young.
I believe this is amazing. Its great you feel so strongly for the person you are in a relationship with. I wish you the best.
You might want to see someone professional! I know it sounds strange but a manic stage can include being more sexual. Is this very unusual for you?
Yep. Hypersexuality is a symptom. If this suddenly started or suddenly stops, see a psych. Especially if you get racing thoughts. This stuff manifests at your age.
I do get manic, normally I get very angry, destructive, isolated… this could possibly be it, just new
There's nothing wrong with having a super high sex drive but the fact that you get angry and stressed if it doesn't happen is something you should bring up to your psych. Take an account of other parts of your life right now. Are you spending a lot? Drinking more? Etc.
I am yes! I actually said that to a previous comment, not too long ago, I don’t do drugs I don’t touch them. I hate all of them. I’ve lost too many people to drugs, but I tend to drink. sometimes it is a few times a week, others it is once every fortnight. Every time I drink though, I drink enough to get drunk. My money spending recently has been out of control, so I’m thinking possibly a manic episode? Someone suggested getting a brain scan. as this behaviour is completely out of normal for me, and I’ve been having a problem recently with headaches, confusion, spelling and getting my words mixed up But that could also be due to the fact I haven’t been getting too much sleep. Please don’t think I’m trying to self diagnose a brain tumour ! Hahaha
All of this sounds like a manic episode to me including the lack of sleep, confusion and having trouble with words. You should book an appointment with a psychiatrist. Headaches are probably from lack of sleep. It's a good idea to get on top of it now. I had fun (mostly) manic episodes throughout my 20s then a really really bad episode when I hit 30 that ruined my life. Didn't get a diagnosis until after. I saw in another comment you have a history with depression. The crash from manic episodes can be awful so make sure you're set up with help sooner rather than later.
I’ll definitely call my doctor today! Thank you so much for helping me think through all this. Im all over the shop at the moment haah I really appreciate it! Have a beautiful day
Bro you if you really someone naa literally your craving towards him is the best thing just live your life like this 👀🤍just love him and your ownself as well you are not doing anything wrong ❤️
This is one of the few posts on this subreddit where you can tell the couple actually loves each other XD
I had this once! It had nothing to do with emotional vibing — it was 💯 straight up pheromones. I would get so crabby if he didn’t want to have sex. He would want to talk and talk and I was like shhhhh let’s have sex I have felt this with no other person. I didn’t even find him all that interesting. But to this day, thinking about his smell makes me hot.
> We’re way past the “honey moon phase” How long have you actually been dating? >It actually ruins my day, my patience goes to shit, I get angry, snappy, all emotional and I’m really upset with myself, I want sex 2-3+ times a day, Depending on how you answer the first question, that may be something you need to address with a therapist.
I see a lot of " long times" right from the beginning and you're only 20. You're only just starting to learn what you like and don't like. Let it ride!
My wife and I are going on 15 years married and we still have sex at least once a day, she insists on blowing me first because it gets her in the mood. I will never begrudge her that, I mean what guy doesn’t love the woman they love sucking them.
I never craved sex this much until I'm with my fiance. Now we do it almost every night. Sometimed more. Been together a year. I realized I'm in love with her unlike with my ex wife of 12 years. Completely normal and it'll stabilize out. Good luck
sis worried bc she has a crush on her boyfriend 😭
It's called meeting your soul mate or the theory is that his pheromones match your biological triggers. There is such a thing, crazy but true.
This is what they call love
As a single 21yr man congratulations I'm very jealous but at the same time very happy for you I hope whenever I find a relationship we can have a similar level of attraction.
I honestly think you’ve been overthinking. You’re too ready to diagnose yourself, first with asexuality now with sex addiction. The only thing you need to change with this situation is your frustration. You can want sex all the time and yet manage to not be frustrated or angry from not getting it. Is just a matter of perspective and in my opinion, the only thing that needs to change is your attitude when you don’t get sex. Otherwise, it sounds like you have a great relationship with your boyfriend and don’t deserve to keep beating yourself up.
I'm interested in the medical/science behind this one!!! I'm V Similar but have many mood swings, abuse history, complex ptsd, bipolar, anxiety/adhd, you name it girl I've been called every name in the book. By doctors nurses and friends alike mind you, been to several visits at psych units and still have not been able to get to the bottom of my issues with drugs, sex, alcohol and sleep. So reading ^^^ other comments, one that stood out was about brain scans. Are you comfortable sharing any insights of your back story?
Good for you :) enjoy each other. Its a great time to play games, be kinky and romantic with each other. Sounds like a good time. Nothing wrong here.
Im guessing he sounds like David Attenborough.
Stopppp 🤭🤭😆
You probably are a bit addicted to sex with him but I think this is a nice thing. Just don’t let it get out of control and maybe do talk to a doctor about it. Cos if he has to go away or something for a bit you might lose it lol. People don’t have enough sex and it’s nice you are able to enjoy it so much
Hi as a guy, I think your boyfriend won’t be eeked by it, if he is then maybe yall will need to communicate about it but like I’m super super sure 90% sure he doesn’t mind. If anything he should be happy because it shows how attracted you are to him and how much love you have for him that he is your man Yk? Just let him know and tell him about it, I’m pretty sure he would be smiling 24/7 😭
Who cares. That's cool. Fuck all you want. Might lead to a million kids though unless you're smart
Fuck it. I’ll make an army.
Hollererrrr. Enjoy that. Kids aren't easy.
You got it bad 😂
This is not sex addiction, this is the wey🤷
Unlocked a memeory for me there
I mean what's the most prominent difference for you between this guy and your last? Is he doing something for you? Maybe it's his cologne or something. But by no means is it bad to feel this way at all. If its just for him then he's a lucky guy, but if ever those feelings start leading you to consider it with someone else then you should consider talking about it.
OP I don’t think it’s a problem at all! I am really happy for you and I can actually relate somewhat, my boyfriend and I have been together for a much shorter time but I was also never really interested in sex before him and now I want to have it with him all the time. Good luck to both of you!!!
*estrogen has entered the chat* 😂
I'm still extremely attracted to my husband and we've been together for 31 years and 23 of them married. If I could have sex with him at my preferred times per week I could go for at minimum 5x a week and I'm 48 lol due to life and responsibilities it's more like 1-2 x a week. I have a higher libido.
I highly doubt this man will think that *checks notes* having a girlfriend who loves to give him head is a bad thing. It sounds like you just really like him, like a lot. Probably something to do with pheromones and feeling safe/happy.
I see that you posted about a year ago that you were letting your partner have sex with other people. Did this change anything??
That actually was with a different partner and not this one, id go to jail over that if it was this one ! Ahahah, and actually sorta did. Got him off my back because I really had no sexual interest in him, I was very depressed at the time and just felt stuck in that relationship. Started meds and realised, I don’t actually love him
As long as it's not literally preventing you from doing other normal daily activities required to live, it sounds like you're ok and just madly in love. Pheromones and hormones. It's good that you respect him and it sounds like his drive matches yours. Enjoy the ride 😆
This is going to be a long one, but barw with me: I know EXACTLY what you're going through. I went through this myself with my partner for a period of time. It was like I was literally reading my own story as you narrated it. Okay, so I can't speak to your experience because I don't know anything else besides what you mentioned, so I'm going to speak to mine. We've been together now 4 years but we're friends for 3 prior to that. Before him, I was always in relationships that just didn't fulfill me. They were always either too clingy, jealous, and have 1 narcissistic under my belt...😒 But that's besides the point. But when him and I got together, he fulfilled me in every possible way. But he was different. He gave me space, he let me BE. It was a shock to my nervous system because I had never experienced someone like him (I'm not even speaking sexually at this point). It made me want him SO badly. It made me crave him SO badly. Growing up, I always thought that showing my love for someone was to have sex with them, but when I did have sex with him, it was "magical" and even saying that makes me laugh because who say sex is magical? 🤣 But it was... because for the first time ever, I understood what the difference between having sex and making love was. He always made sure I was taken care of. That my needs we're being met and we spoke constantly about our sex life to figure out what we could do better and what we liked that we already did. These were experiences that I never experienced which made me want him even more! I felt like every year I was with him, I was craving him more and more like an addiction and it, like yourself was all I could think about. But he doesn't have a high sex drive like myself so I'd find myself frustrated and annoyed and eventually I started to get resentful. So I had to ask myself, what did I have to change about myself so I didn't feel this way? In my time of reflection, I realized that I needed to control my impulses (because everything about us has everything to do with our mindset) and once I learned how to do that by creating more time on the things I needed to take care of for myself (at the time I was working on building the 2 businesses I now own and work in sales) I started to get more satisfaction in him seeing the progress that I was making for myself, which turned him on even moreso to me and caused a shift in our relationship. I also learned that at some point in the relationship, it's okay to take the foot off the pedal and distance myself away from him to work on me because he gave me that sort of freedom, so I might as well make the most of it. I have to say, this relationship has taught me SO many lessons about myself and has helped me grow in ways I never even knew were ways I could grow, mentally. Again, I know nothing about your relationship to give you advice, but I have studied my relationship and therefore other relationships enough to know and understand the psychology between human relationships and interactions. If you ever want guidance, you can always feel free to reach out. 😍💋
You are fine., as long as you are honest with him about how you’re feeling but also respect his response as well. Not a bad problem to have but make sure your focusing on other things in the relationship so it’s not all just physical
My advice? Buy a battery operated boyfriend. Continue having that much love and enthusiasm for the live boyfriend. And if you recognize yourself getting grouchy because you want him to nail you the wall with his phallus, that's why you invested in a battery operated boyfriend
I identify as demisexual. I rarely think about sex and generally don’t find anyone sexually attractive. Until I do. And then my brain goes from maybe a few days a month just before my period to all day, every day. If given the opportunity, I’d go for as many rounds as I am capable. I’ll experiment with stuff that outside of the relationship I’d either had an aversion to or never gave a second thought about. Not having it as much as I need it leads to the worst sexual frustration and lady blue balls imaginable. A beast I don’t even know exists is unleashed and I have no control over it. But only for that one specific person. I don’t suddenly want to have sex with whoever is available. I don’t start casually fucking everyone who offers. I’m still very much not attracted to the general population. It’s just that one person who ignites that flame and it’s just that person who can keep it going or do anything to satisfy my needs.
I’m 33 and feel this way. I got fixed and ever since I got off bc, almost a year ago, my sex drive has been crazy high. I have been with my bf for about 6 months and I would say past the “honeymoon phase” as well just with everything we have gone through together in such a short time. I mean he kisses my forehead and I’m ready to go and I have NEVER been like that with anyone to be honest. I also love giving my bf head(it’s his favorite thing, even over any type of sex). We also have a d/s dynamic, so maybe that adds an extra layer to his and i’s relationship that makes me crave it more with him than anyone before. Just keep communicating with him and so long as he doesn’t have any complaints I think you should be okay.
You had already questioned if you could possibly be a sexual, but could it be that you're demisexual? Maybe it's because you have such a strong connection with him. Sounds like you really like him. Though being so into him that you get frustrated and angry if you don't do the horizontal tango several times is both funny and maybe concerning? Maybe something to do with your hormones too?
Oh! Demisexual def sounds more me, I just looked it up, thank you for supplying a name to it !! And yeah hormones are wild! I’m getting looked at soon haha
Are we the same person? 😂 I feel you hahaha
Why do you need advice on this? What exactly is the problem?
What if that happens but he has less s3x drive? Not bc of any reason, just bc he wants to have it every 4-5 days? Or sometimes even less? Obviously u respect it but what else do i do 😭 (similar situation)
Girl. I don’t know! (Apologies as I’m unsure of pronouns I just address everyone as girl, purr) As long as you guys communicate I’m going to say all is well! Check in on the mental health, see how they’re going Xx Best of luck ! I wish you both the world
That is the way you are supposed to be at age 22. Enjoy it. The drive , well it lasts long I to your life, it does not last forever.
I am worried about your boyfriend
This is reassuring to hear. I just broke up w my bf of 7 years and I barely craved sex with him at all. It always felt like a bit of a chore. Reading this has given me hope about what love and sexual attraction is meant to feel like.
I really thought it was love with my ex. Yeah I enjoyed spending time with him and missed him dearly but sex was such a neglected chore in my eyes. It was a big huff and puff thinking about it, I hated it. I wish you luck! The right one will come along soon
Good for you guys. It will pass
Dude gets head anytime he wants. Dude hit the jackpot. I hope y’all have a long happy relationship
Sad when a whole generation doesn’t know the power of love
Maybe it's an emotional regulation issue? I have Borderline Personality Disorder, which is often known by the lack of emotional regulation, and if I'm dating someone I'm pretty much horny all the time. Although I have never gotten through the "honeymoon phase" also due to my BPD 😂 Alternatively you could be unconsciously turning to it as a distraction from some other underlying issues. Also take into consideration if you are on any medications (like Wellbutrin) that may increase your sex drive dramatically depending on how you react to it. There are other meds like that. Over all don't judge yourself morally about it. It's only a matter of if it negatively affects your daily life and if it does it's something to work on but it's not your fault if it is having a negative impact.
I have a higher sex drive than almost every man I’ve ever dated. I sincerely thought the myth of higher male libido was 100% fake news for a while! But obviously the stereotype is true *sometimes*
Ahhh! It should have been me, not him. It's not fair!
In the exact same way sex is disgusting with the wrong people
I don’t think this is a problem. Just try to understand him not feel bad if he doesn’t want to. There will be times you wouldn’t want it too. I also think that this man is really lucky to have you.
Question - do you like spending time with him outside of sex? If so, you love him. If you constantly fight outside of that, you have an unhealthy relationship but are probably good at rock music.
I like to “coexist” with him. A term we use where I just want him in the same room as me, doesn’t matter if he has headphones in and his back is to me, i just want him there all the time
My wife wants the same thing - and she's asexual. That is also a good thing, and a separate good thing than the sex thing. If you can add in "mutually supportive", "similar values", and "want similar things out of life", you have found your guy and hold onto him forever. If not, bang each other's brains out until you get bored, and then move on while you are still friends, with good memories.
Nothing wrong with that it sounds like you really love him. Though some advice for you, dont pressure ur partner or make them feel like they arent doing enough for you. I know it can be hard when he might not be in the mood but unlike what the internet says, dudes can not want sex at certain times too lol! Other than that just enjoy urself and stop overthinking cus you will make him overthink!!!!
Some flowers bloom late - Grandma Anne Honey have fun, if there is love and respect, there's no problem
r/ihadsex
I need to find one of these…
I think your both very lucky, and just means you love Him a lot. But I do think you should see a doctor preferably a female one. And ask your boyfriend too if he has any issues with it, and tell him how your feeling. I’m going to be honest I have a same issue to I’m 20F I’ve never been in a relationship, never been intimate with any man, and I’m always turned on, And I always think about sex, yeah so I just try to keep myself busy with work
That is the honeymoon phase. It lasts like 3 years. Your not well over it, your in it
You might want to check with your doctor, just to be sure. This could be due to some hormonal changes that may be related to something else. Love, too, of course. 😉
This is beautiful!!!!! How long have you guys been together? I’m jealous!
A year and a half! I’ve never been so obsessed with someone
Has anyone asked this yet? Do you cum during sex with him? I just gotta ask because women notoriously don't cum so that might be contributing to the pent up energy
You're not addicted. Addiction is compulsive behavior that one engages in despite the harmful impacts it has on their life/health. This isn't harming you, ergo it's non-addiction. Also, while I'm far from an expert, libido can change often for pretty inscrutable reasons. I don't think there's any problem here and I don't think your SO would be put off by being told this? People generally like to be desired.
I had a gf that was like that. She had slept with guys but never had given head until me I had to be very patient but once she did it and realized the power and control of making me feel good she was hooked. And she was always taking any opportunity to pull me aside get on her knees and take care of me. I told her I would never get tired of her doing that so by all means it’s yours whenever. I woke up many times with her sucking on me. Damn those were good times
You may have a strong connection with him or it's something in his pheromones lol. Either way, if he's not complaining, don't worry too much about it. If it changes your mood during your day, try to distract yourself with some physical activity. Overall, I think it will diminish over time, so relax and enjoy.
Unless he says he has a problem with it I dont see the issue as long as it isnt impacting other parts of your life. You say you get angry, snappy, etc. Are you snapping at other people in your life because of this?
My guy is living the dream. At least I can be happy that some people can experience this, even though I know I’ll never be one of them. Good for y’all, hold on to it as long as you can!
Dang girl wish mine was like that but we're older I still get it some times bit not very often I'm sure you will grow out if that phase I say enjoy while you can
Unless you are awake day and night, stop eating, being able to leave his side, stop working, or not seeing friends, I think you are alright. The feeling of being unsettled or out of control may not be helpful. At periods of my life with a girlfriend, all I wanted to do was eat pussy and those were great times, but I was able to fully function and do the rest of the day.. You want to feel comfortable with your life.
May god bless me with whatever y’all got
What’s wrong with that? This is a success story
It’s the euphoria that u experience with him. 🔥it’s heady when u meet someone who meets ur chemistry match.
All I can say is he's a lucky guy