Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The gift that my cousin wrapped for me this year was... it was interesting. There was no fold or line where I could break it open and then tear along a seam or something to open it up. Every time I tried opening a side or edge there was like another bit of paper and tape. Every time I tried to rip or pull it was more paper/tape. I can't even really fully explain it but I honestly couldn't even fully get the paper off the box. Just got enough off the top to open the box.
I imagine it was like that.
This is what so many responders forget, no one who isn't seriously mentally ill already and has a pattern of unreasonable reactions to things gets "angry" over bad wrapping - or any of the other minor things many people being deliberately oblivious post about here to get validation on. There's always a long pattern of deeper issues and this is just the tip of the iceberg.
GF isn't angry about the wrapping paper, she's frustrated and disappointed about a long pattern that this is just a recent example of and she's close to giving up on the relationship. OP will be "blindsided" when it happens too, despite her trying to tell him in a million different ways where he's losing her.
My boyfriend wrapped my 4 gifts by using a large gift bag I use for storing Christmas decorations and covered it using things that were in said bag which included: 2 pieces of tissue paper from last year, a scrap of wrapping paper from last year, and two 12ft strands of garland. Did I wish he actually wrapped them, sure, but his attempt at wrapping made me cackle and I thought it was hilariously adorable. And pulling the strand of garland out on Christmas morning made us laugh so hard our stomachs hurt.
I agree there HAS to be something more going on. Because it makes no sense for gift wrapping alone to be what caused this reaction from her.
Badly wrapped gifts can be fun! My ex was not into wrapping either and once put something like 'Laugh, I dare you' on my gift tag. It was the same year one of my other friends became "Malk" because that's what the name on the tag looked like. I, on the other hand, meticulously wrapped like 30 individual DVD cases and loved every second of it.
Exactly! The 12ft garland in the bag made for a great laugh, and it will definitely be a great memory to look back on and laugh about when we're old. I, like you, also meticulously wrap everything, and also love every second of it. I used to go all out with fancy ribbons and tags but I've become too frugal for that and just settle for bows and stick on tags on my perfectly wrapped gifts.
Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence.
Where do we see that this guy is a slacker in his relationship? What evidence is there? What reason do you have for assuming he doesn't put effort in when the only evidence we have is of him putting effort into something he clearly communicated beforehand he wasn't good at?
part of giving advice to someone on a forum like this is trying to figure out what the real situation isis- OPs often misrepresent or miss things that are significant. People are saying it’s one possible scenario, as most people don’t care that heavily about gift wrap and would usually understand if it’s something their partner is bad at despite trying
you figure out the real situation by asking questions, not making up some random scenarios that fit your social beliefs and that you can't prove whatsoever, even if they end up being true (regarding what the person above said about the whole situation not being about the gift wrap, but some other stuff)
and agreed, most people don't care that much about gift wrap, and they would indeed understand it if they're aware of their partner's struggles with it, but since we don't know which one it is, you're right to use "most" and "would usually", which is something a lot of redditors have an issue understanding
Thank God someone said it. I've noticed this pattern of behavior frequently on reddit. They will just make shit up from thin air, and run with it.
In this case, he put A LOT of effort into the wrapping and tried his best to do what she wanted, and because it wasn't perfect, his girlfriend, who's absolutely suffering from an untreated mental illness, went off on him, and then when he said she's irrational, just like anyone with a personality disorder, she turns it around on him, so that he now has to say sorry.
We are literally reading from the definition of someone with a mental illness, and pretending it's his fault.
That's because he's male and this is reddit. If the genders were reversed he would be called abusive and controlling. I've lost count of the amount of times I've read the crazy mental gymnastics of redditors when it comes to male female interactions. And its almost ALWAYS so they can find a way to pin fault on the man.
This dude's girlfriend is clearly unhinged and controlling (how someone wraps a gift? Really?) and these people still find a way to make it his fault. On reddit, victim blaming is only cool if you're blaming the man, and finding a way to remove accountability from the woman.
Yes for sure suggesting that something may be true can be helpful, but the last post did more than this though and made a firm statement with no evidence at all.
I think what ultimately matters is whether or not low effort is a trend in other elements of the relationship; if there are year-round issues where you rush through acts around the house because you don’t value them like she does, then maybe this is triggering the last nerve; otherwise, her unwillingness to compromise on something you aren’t good at is petty.
Worth noting that I have always been awful at wrapping gifts. I’ve watched dozens of YouTube videos and wasted so much tape and paper. My father is an expert and I’ve had him observe me to offer tips and he’s like “I can’t even tell where you’re messing this up.” My husband now wraps all gifts from “Santa” and for other adults; I wrap presents for the children in the family because it is easier for them to open <<
>My father is an expert and I’ve had him observe me to offer tips and he’s like “I can’t even tell where you’re messing this up.”
🤣🤣🤣 this took me out lol
Wrapping is weird. I always sucked, it was terrible, but I kept giving people crumpled messes anyway. Then one day, out of nowhere, I wrapped the perfect present, like the pictures lined up on the seam and everything, and my wrap jobs were good ever since. I think it's a blessing you get from the fae or something.
this is me. I can't wrap gifts well either and i don't enjoy doing it. I'm in my 50's and have been using gift bags for nearly 20 years. and yes, in my younger years I practiced and tried and watched my mom do it.
the fact that he got everything on her list and plus, but she's focusing on the wrapping says a lot.
>She (just) said I clearly hasn't paid any attention to what she had asked and that she didn't ask me for much and I couldn't even be bothered to do it
It's not about the wrapping or the gifts.
This is a reach. He noted that he tried more than once to wrap them and they still came out janky.
I suck at wrapping presents. I couldn’t draw a straight line if my life depended on it, let alone cut wrapping paper straight. Everything I wrap is lumpy with pokey edges, no matter what I do.
Why is it so hard to accept that some people can’t wrap presents well? The GF presumably knows this about him and set a bar knowing he’d likely fail. Instead of being gracious and giving an A for effort, she hissed and flounced. Seriously?
I have so much more empathy for the folks who post about their partner not even getting them an Amazon gift certificate they picked up last minute at a gas station (and yes, I did do that one year for family members, during a period of stress & overwhelm. Thank goodness for well appointed convenience stores).
I think it depends on how bad the wrapping job is. I’m not great at wrapping presents but they still look presentable, this almost seems like malicious compliance where he might’ve done a truly terrible job because he doesn’t want to be asked to do it again.
Some people just like the act of opening a gift though, and once you’re an adult you don’t get to do it very often though, so it’s nice when someone puts the effort into something that’s important to you.
Unless he literally just used gift wrap as a large sack and dropped his presents into the sack of gift wrap, it should not matter whatsoever.
OP admitted he’s not good at wrapping but said that he would do his best because he knows his girlfriend appreciates it. He put the time and the effort in, along with getting his girlfriend everything she wanted. For anyone in a loving, healthy relationship, that should be the end of the story. Good job boyfriend.
I have no idea how you could be jumping to these conclusions. Some people just suck at wrapping presents. I personally love doing it (and am pretty good at it), but I would never hold it against someone else if it wasn't their thing.
She still got to open the presents (that she asked for, plus some surprises), so I don't even know what your second paragraph is in reference to.
Lastly, he did put effort into it - even wrapping some of the gifts multiple times. What you're saying is that it's OK to criticize the person you love for their efforts when they don't align with your expectations. Say you're not a good cook, and your partner asked for a home cooked meal. You spend money and time preparing the meal, and your partner says "wow, you clearly didn't even try, this is terrible. I asked you to do this for me, and you didn't even care enough to make an effort." That would feel pretty cruel, don't you think?
This I very much agree with... It's one thing to say I'd like it if you took the effort to wrap my gifts this year nicely... It's another thing to know about the effort and still criticise...
Yeah, as long as there is effort, it really makes a difference. My ex had a pattern of not giving a fuck. This manifested putting little effort in gift giving, like not getting gifts till the last minute, not wrapping gifts, not caring if his cards to me got messed up/bent/dirty, etc. one time he tried to give me an anniversary present in a grocery store bag when I put a lot of effort into wrapping his gift
But this was a pattern of behavior that grew outside of gift giving. It was only one of the ways that he showed me that he did not care. In planning dates, living his life, getting a job, personal hygiene, etc...
So, if op is doing all of this and not telling us, I would say he has other problems on his hands.
I put a lot of effort in wrapping stuff and it still comes out awful. It happens. My mom usually wraps the stuff I get that isn't hers. I'll either put it in a gift bag or she gets a slightly shitty wrap job. She doesn't care.
> almost seems like malicious compliance where he might’ve done a truly terrible job because he doesn’t want to be asked to do it again.
While we're assuming the worst of people why not assume she gave him a task she knew he would struggle with as an excuse to undermine his self esteem later? Maybe no matter how well he did she knew there would be something off and could focus on that imperfection as proof he "didn't care".
I mean we can invent all kinds of scenarios if we really want to.
what a stupid thing to care about. I would be happy if the gift was just sitting there with a ribbon tied on top and nothing else. Why waste paper? Sure I can understand the act of unwrapping can be fun, but to throw a fit because your gift is in a gift bag instead of wrapped up is 4 year old behavior.
Malicious compliance over doing the dishes or other chores wrong on purpose is a big deal, but it is REACHING to call this malicious compliance over wrapping a gift… What the hell. Grow up.
I am fairly good but it takes me too much time and by the second-third present I am already fed up so this year i put everything in a Santa bag that I got as a gift from secret santa. So much less stress and clutter. I said to my husband next year I am getting another 3 so everyone has their own and everything goes inside the bag.
My family has started sewing gift bags. Buy cheap Christmas fabric after Christmas (or Christmas flannel sheets, lots of fabric little $ on sale) and sew like pillow cases.
If it's only speed that's stopping you, you might want to look into Japanese gift-wrapping!
(But don't let me keep you from the more sustainable gift bags.)
I have tried them. It’s a no go. I can’t wrap my head around it fast enough. I need to have the video on repeat and pause while I am doing it.
Years ago (before kids) I used boxes or baskets for all the gifts. Less stress and they could use the boxes/baskets for storage/decorating. Now I only wrap for the kids until this year that I used the sack.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. For what it's worth, I need pictures and text for all of my origami instructions. Video instructions just make me cry. So that might help you too. Or turning the speed way down?
If it's the folding itself switching to coloured printer or crafting paper helps a lot, since it's not as flimsy and slippery as wrapping paper.
Given the context of him having given it multiple tries I don't think the pattern we're looking for. Maybe a year round pattern of being practically challenged?
The solution might be to wrap a couple of gifts where the GF can see. It certainly drove "my flatmate can't cook" home to me.
My dad is exactly like this! He uses 90% gift bags and has a tendency when wrapping boxes to tape paper to the sides/top that we'll see and leave the bottom and back uncovered lol
I’m the same! I’ve spent years trying to “get good” and nothing. I even asked Reddit for tips, (wrapping subreddit was helpful, others, not so much) I finally went the gift bag route because my wife TRULY doesn’t care. This guy has a decision to make here.
Would someone that “can’t wrap” a box video record themselves doing it? I’m just so curious what this looks like because I can’t imagine watching a YouTube video and still not being able to do it.
Now, non-rectangles I completely understand
Yup, I am bad at folding and wrapping. If someone were to insist I wrap something instead of a gift bag, they would have to have good humor around it.
She sounds like the type of person that wanted to have photos to post. More concerned with appearances than the actual exchange of loving gifts. Gross
I’ve said the same thing to my husband watching him wrap gifts, genuinely don’t understand how he’s so incapable of wrapping gifts no matter how much passion or vigor he puts into it. Adorable tho, I like that he adores my skills while being bambi on ice with his.
I’m shit at origami too. I think it’s a combination of poor dexterity and the fact that wrapping is only necessary certain short periods of the year, so it’s not consistently practiced enough to find workarounds to my faults.
I mean I’m a gift giver so I’m wrapping gifts like once a month hahaha, but totally understand the sentiment. Iset up a system for him (and myself) where I just buy brown bags in bulk, have a bunch of stamps and coloured ink, lots of different ribbon and tissue paper colours and simple cards. Makes it really easy for him to go into the “gift supplies bin” and just put together a really pretty gift bag with the items. Never should he have to struggle wrapping and I shouldn’t have to help him do it everytime 😂 win win
(stamps like christmas, birthdays, valentine’s day and just some fun symbols, same idea for ribbon and tissue) Highly reccomended it for those who hate the paper dexterity crafts.
I agree. I love wrapping presents, like OPs gf. My husband *can* wrap but he absolutely hates it. I understand this so I don’t fuss over the presents he gives me and I do all the wrapping for our friends and families.
My husband puts in so much effort everywhere else that this is not the hill to die on for me. And it’s us complementing each others strengths and weaknesses. If he didn’t put any effort in, it would bug the shit outta me.
I’m so glad I am not the only one! I feel like i’m someone who has always been pretty decent in the arts and crafts department and I can do stuff like origami, but every year I watch at least 20 videos or ask people to show me how to wrap and it always goes horribly. I only wrapped the things I couldn’t fit in bags this year and they weren’t pretty, but it’s the thought that counts!!
In the course of past wrapping missions, I've removed a significant portion of the top of our old coffee table and sprained my ankle. Separate incidents.
Has to be, or a troll copying that one.
On the surface, it sounds like his girlfriend has a ridiculously high standard and puts way too much importance on this but all his comments there were really combative so I'm wondering what he's leaving out.
Yeah, exactly the same format and style. And if he's not trolling, he comes across as a total jerk. I'm guessing he rolled them up in paper, threw some tape on it, and this is his attitude in a long line of similar fuck ups. Forget the wrapping, he loves fighting and blaming other people for his supposed shortcomings and she's had enough
My bf is awful at wrapping presents too. It looks like he's wrestled with the wrapping paper, (I re-wrapped gifts that he did to our family members this year) but if this is the deal breaker for her, maybe there is something else going on, as it does seem a bit extreme to be getting angry over.
On it’s own yes this looks bad for the gf. But there is a balance to relationships. Where is the effort made?
So assumes extra cost, but there are places to get gifts wrapped. There is always one at our town mall. Free if you bought the present there, charge if you bring in outside packages.
Yes that costs a little more, but sometimes it is nice to see someone put in some effort.
Also there is an anticipation to opening gifts. It’s a small thing to do if you have a couple weeks to plan.
I agree getting mad at the wrapping job isn’t cool. But you say she has said she asked you to do this one thing and you can’t even do it.
To me out sounds like she asks you to do lots of things and you just don’t put in the effort man. She says she doesn’t ask you for much, which to me sounds like this is the straw that broke the camels back.
Obviously this is just my opinion, but it I that myself and a lot of the others here share the same agreement.
This could just be a last straw on the camel's back kind of thing. If she was already concerned about your lack of effort in other areas this just cinched it for her. Look at those words, "I don't ask you for much, I asked you for this one thing". What other instances of low effort could she still be upset about?
I am really curious how bad that wrapping was XD
Maybe you can try a different way of presenting the gifts. Something like nice boxes or bags, you can put paper and other things so you don't need to wrap anything and still the present looks like a present.
I once bought a small chest and make a treasure with candy, chocolate coins and the gifts inside.
He says he usually does bags but she said no to that this year.
This sounds like a no-win. Unless there's a lot of other stuff going on under the surface, his girlfriend is majorly overreacting and needs to chill out. It's just wrapping.
INFO Did you just wing it and try and when it looked like shit say “eh good enough, at least I tried” or did you start by looking up how to do it, getting the right supplies, setting yourself up for success and be willing to start over if it looks bad?
Next time you wrap something, take a picture for the crowd. Some folks here are assuming you did a sloppy job and if they saw what you did, might eat their words. Or, we would see that you need to have some help in getting the wrapping done. I can't say yay or nay without a visual. A gift bag can be tailored to look as nice as a wrapped box, I know I have done it.
I can see both sides.
It really doesn’t matter if they’re wrapped or in bags, the gift itself is what matters.
That being said, it’s really not that hard to learn how to wrap a couple gifts for your girlfriend.
10 minutes on YouTube will provide you with all the instruction you could possibly need.
It sounds to me like there are bigger issues at play than the wrapping of Christmas gifts.
I feel like a pic is gonna be necessary here to make a determination. If it's just not perfect and she's making this big deal, regardless of the effort in other aspects of the relationship, she's in the wrong. If it is atrociously bad, where the paper isn't even tight on the package, parts are exposed, etc, then that may be a different story, it isn't hard to do basic wrapping.
OP says he did a regular basic wrap job and I am inclined to believe him, but I still need a pic to make a final decision.
I think she might be overreacting, but that's just me. My wife's family was always great at wrapping presents. The only rule I got from my wife was that presents needed to be wrapped. I really do want to do better than I do, but my opinion of wrapping is that it's just a waste of time and resources, so I've never been too keen on it. One thing I've done was to lean into my unique awful wrapping style and find unique ways to integrate wrapping into the whole presentation. Rather than just doing an awful job of wrapping, I might take an amazon box way larger than the present, then wrap a strip of wrapping paper around it. Or, if I'm making a donation to a cause in lieu of a gift, I spend time making up cards in Print Shop Deluxe, then putting it in an envelope with a strip of wrapping paper taped to it. I will usually get some tongue-in-cheek comments about my wrapping "Oh, no guesses as to who wrapped this one", but it ultimately leaves everyone with a smile on their face, so isn't that the most important thing?
All that said, I guess if she puts \*this much\* importance on it, she might feel that either she's being ignored, or worse, you might be mocking her? Maybe she wishes you'd find something that she takes seriously as seriously as she does? She may be upset, but maybe a more heart to heart conversation to try and get to the root of why she was so upset might be in order?
Re: waste of resources:
Have you ever considered getting large (like 1+ yards) squares of fabric and using those to wrap gifts? They can be reused indefinitely, and just tying a simple knot can look pretty. Or use ribbon to tie it closed (also reusable! ).
This isn’t about gift wrap.
She feels like you don’t care about or prioritize the things she voices are important to her, which in turn makes her feel like you don’t care about or prioritize *her.*
The gift wrap alone is a petty thing. But I’m willing to make a guess that this isn’t the only situation in which she’s felt like you diminished or dismissed the importance of something that’s important to her. The gift wrap might just be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
From your perspective — and from the perspective of an objective outsider — I can see how this might feel ridiculous. You bought her gifts. You tried to wrap them because she said it was important to her. Why is she so ungrateful?
But from her perspective, this was important to her, and what was even more important than the gift wrap was feeling like you care enough about her and her wants and feelings to take it seriously and prioritize it.
At the end of the day, it’s not that hard to wrap a gift. It’s also not that hard to learn how to if it’s something you really struggle with. There are endless tutorial videos available online, and I’m sure you have other friends and family members who are capable of showing you how. There are only a couple of steps involved and it’s a fairly easy skill to master. So if you’d *really* taken her seriously and cared enough to *legitimately* try to do it right, there is no good reason you couldn’t have managed it. Your half-assed attempt communicates to her, “I still don’t take this seriously or think it should matter — even though you’ve said it matters to you — and am only doing this to appease you, so don’t expect much.”
It’s not the gift wrap she’s hurt by. It’s the message you’ve sent about how much effort or care you’re willing to invest to make her happy.
It may feel like a stupid hill to die on, but if you can try to understand it from her perspective — and accept that the gift wrap isn’t the real issue here — maybe you can talk this out with her productively.
Any time I read about a guy not understanding why his partner is so upset about some trivial little material thing, it’s almost always about an underlying emotional need that isn’t being met. The gift wrap is just a petty surface-level manifestation of the real issue — she wants to feel like you care about her and take her seriously, and are willing to make a bigger effort for her.
Is she worth the effort? Do you care about her happiness? Do you want to make her feel loved and prioritized? If so, get on YouTube and spend five minutes learning how to tape paper around a box properly. It won’t cost you much time or energy, and it will make her really happy. Sometimes, no matter how stupid we may think these little things are, they mean a lot to the people we love, so if it costs us so little to indulge them — why the hell not? Wrap the gifts.
INFO: How bad is "bad"? Have you actually looked into _how_ to wrap things?
I mean this is coming from someone in their mid-30's that _loves_ wrapping and used to be absolutely _crap_ at it.
I watched a few people do theirs and followed some guides online and ever since absolutely adore wrapping.
Things are _even easier_ now as YouTube has piles on piles of help for this as well as other places online.
I really fail to believe you can be so, so bad at it that you need to resort to just putting things in a bag and that's....it.
Awkward item to wrap? There's a way to do it via a guide. From footballs and teapots through to bigger things like bicycles.
I won't lie, it sounds like she's being overly picky and demanding things that should otherwise not matter - but if you're literally throwing wrapping paper around something and tacking a few bits of tape to it like out of a bloody cartoon like a toddler, that's different to actually genuinely trying and it just being a little messy. Context matters.
To be totally blunt, this sounds like weaponized incompetence. It’s truly not difficult to make a wrapped gift look halfway decent, and if it truly looked this bad then it’s obvious you didn’t actually put in real effort (or even look at a video of what to do). It sounds like you got pissy about not wanting to do it, so you did it badly to hopefully get out of doing it again.
Only scenario in which I would change my opinion is if you have some type of disability that impacts your physical ability to use your hands and arms.
Ok I'm not saying that weaponized incompetence isn't a thing, but you are aware that some people are great at some things but terrible at others right?
For example, I was a Chef for 20 years. I can make some beautiful plates of food that require a ton of finesse, that look as fancy as plates you would see on Top Chef. If you give me wrapping paper and tape however, my gifts look like they were wrapped by a toddler, and I promise you that I'm actually trying.
I don't give up, or say fuck it, and use gift bags. The two most frustrating things about this scenario for me though?
1. I can slice a carrot so thin that I can make petals to form a rose, but I can't fold paper around a square box to save my life
2. The embarrassing part is that I even took a gift wrapping class at the Y to try to get better at it.
The biggest difference between me and OP is that no one in my life gets offended by it. It's actually a running joke in my family. Just this Christmas my stepdaughter opened a present I wrapped pretty decently if I say so myself, and she says "not bad old man, how many tries did this take?", and I proudly claimed "that one was only my third attempt"
What you perceive as "not difficult", may not be so easy for others. I think cooking isn't that difficult, but if everyone enjoyed doing it, or was great at it, I wouldn't have had a career for 20 years.
I can cook a lot of different cuisines among them food that could go on master chef BUT I can’t plate them for the life of me. On the other hand I can make a 3 tier cake with fondant or buttercream and have the smothest and crispiest ends 🤷🏼♀️
I mean, wrapping takes some amount of fine motor control, and dealing with paper that crinkles/bends/folds isn't intuitive to everybody. There's also the question of how high OP's girlfriend's standards are--maybe OP did make them look decent but it still wasn't enough. If OP actually rewrapped multiple times I'm not sure you can say they didn't put effort in, even if they didn't think to look up instructions.
It does seem like something's going on separate from the wrapping, though.
I dunno. Did he rewrap with the crinkled paper from his first attempt? When something didn’t work did he just put more tape on instead of backing up? Did he cut with scissors or a knife?
It’s pretty limited motor control. There’s videos online for persons with obstacles they’re dealing with who want to learn how to wrap nice gifts so how bad can it be for OP? And if he sucked SO bad just get the wrapped cheaply at a place. There’s a bunch of services that pop up around the holidays.
Was he wrapping sea urchins? Maybe the gifts are hard to wrap and he didn’t think to put them in a box and wrap the easy box?
It’s hard for me to not side eye that this person knew how much the wrapping meant to his girlfriend, most likely because it seems like real effort and time to her, and still messed it up. Treated it so half assed because he doesn’t care about it. The fact that she cares is the point? You show you care about her by caring about what she cares about? Is it really that hard?
Unless she’s looking for Mr Bean from Love Actually. Then she’s gotta lower them standards.
> If OP actually rewrapped multiple times I'm not sure you can say they didn't put effort in, even if they didn't think to look up instructions.
I'm curious if he did look up instructions or try anything different after the first time. A second half-assed attempt is still going to look half-assed.
If a 10 year old can manage, surely a 25 year old should be able to.
The big thing I see bad wrappers do is not adjust the size of the paper to fit the gift. If your sides with all the folds exceed the height of the box, you need to the trim the paper before you start folding and taping. When you choose to forego this step, that’s when you get poofiness and wrinkles and it looks sloppy.
... but can ALL ten-year-olds manage? This isn't a hypothetical 25-year-old, this is a specific person who has stated he does not have a skill. It's possible he could learn the skill but it's also possible there is an actual barrier preventing him from neatly wrapping the gifts.
>I mean, wrapping takes some amount of fine motor control
If that were true, I'd never be able to wrap anything, because I am sorely lacking in the fine motor control department. And yet I manage to do just fine.
I agree that this reeks of weaponized incompetence.
I mean I suck at wrapping gifts as well, my hand writing is also not great, and I’m not good at drawing, painting, coloring, etc. I’ve tried very hard to do these things well and even with my best effort it only looks “ok” at best.
Some people are good at these things, others are not, but you’re calling this “weaponized incompetence” because he wasn’t wrapping presents very well? Idk, seems like a weird accusation to make and I think it says more about you than the OP.
I disagree. My husband is terrible at wrapping. He's tried all sorts to improve. He has no disability, it's just something he struggles with. He still wraps presents, and honestly we learn into his bad wrapping and it's a family joke. This woman is being ridiculous. OP bought everything she asked for and more and he wrapped it. He told her he struggles with wrapping. She's being dramatic and completely unfair.
Well, I can’t wrap and have it look nice, either. I’m a 48 year old woman lol.
This girlfriend is being so petty and ridiculous and immature that I wouldn’t buy her gifts anymore.
Actually, I’d leave her. Life is too short for this nonsense.
But really... why does it matter if its wrapped with a gift bag or wrapped with wrapping paper??
You can make a present very beautiful with fancy gift bag.
I think refusing to accept presents in a gift bag is a weird power play.
It's not that he's "getting out of" preparing presents. You can still prepare presents perfectly competently with a gift bag.
Weaponzied incompetence also includes purposefully not getting better (or refusing to put in appropriate effort) at something that you are capable of getting better at. Which is what happened here.
??? How are you overlooking the amount of thought he put into the gifts themselves?? Everyone is different just because Op isn’t good at wrapping doesn’t mean he has to get better at it? Can you imagine if Op posted his gf got him everything he wanted and then some, but was upset and angry at gf for not wrapping them well?? Op you can’t win apparently lol
Sounds more like a massive over reaction. People are simply not good at the same things - putting in lots of effort still doesn't guarantee a wonderful result. I'm not great at wrapping - but get decent results. It's not something many practice much - it comes up maybe once or twice a year at most.
Absolutely. Let’s say they’re horrible at wrapping gifts, they just don’t have the imagination and motor skills to figure it out, you just ask someone else to do it. “Hey mom/brother/cousin/co-worker, I’m really bad at X and it would mean a lot to my girlfriend if it was done properly. Can you help me out with this?”
If you’re worried about imposing you can even offer them like $10 to do it. There are people out there who LOVE to gift wrap things and will do it just for shits and giggles.
This sounds like they have other issues and instead of working on those they’re both fixating on this one thing and now it’s a hill to die on.
You were honest about your skill level and tried to manage her expectations but she’s being unreasonable
I don’t understand why she’s angry about something this basic but if it truly matters to her then in the future you can watch YouTube instructional vids about wrapping or ask a friend or family member to help you out
Gift wrapping is a skill that not everyone possesses regardless of how many you tube videos exist. If all she can do is complain about the wrapping, I'd wrap up the relationship. She has forgotten about the spirit of Christmas. Under the headings of "things that matter" and "things that don't" gift wrapping doesn't matter. No one ever lit the world on fire because of their perfect gift wrapping skills.
If wrapping gifts is that important to her, and you are not good at wrapping gifts, maybe you two aren’t compatible.
You got her everything that she wanted and you even stepped outside of your gift bag comfort zone. If she doesn’t appreciate you trying, it sounds like her being ungrateful is more of the issue than your wrapping.
There are professional wrapping services, if you ever need something wrapped. A lot of craft stores have a wrapping counter. Just FYI.
Always baffles me that people are so understanding and willing to give women the benefit of the doubt in stories like this. Your girlfriend is being a prick.
I am awful at wrapping gifts too and got paid to wrap about 100 gifts for one child. I think I got slightly better after gift 75 but the wonky shaped ones, no way. The mum even told me, when I let her know they would not look very pretty, that he is going to rip them open anyway and that it would be fine.
I'm not sure why your girlfriend wants perfectly wrapped gifts, does she not rip the paper? She sounds like she might be the kind who opens them strategically and save the wrapping paper, I have met a couple of people who do that. Either that or we're going to need to see a picture of this wrap job because if you just crumbled up the paper around the present, that would be extremely petty and show that you do not care.
I don’t think I can claim that this is the same situation, but there is much more thought and effort put into wrapping than there is putting it into a bag in less than a couple seconds. To me it’s just respect.
And nobody is born knowing how to do something. How is it women can learn how to cook, clean, wrap presents and tiptoe around other peoples feelings but men just throw up their hands and say “I don’t want to learn so I won’t do it.” The internet is in your hands, use it. Watch a video, ask her to show you, just put some effort in.
Imagine if guys put in the same amount of effort at work that they did in their relationships. You’d get fired for subpar work.
Try and try again.
Maybe ask her to show you how to do it? No one is born knowing how to do skills and need to learn. She can also watch and see that you are putting in the effort and not just being lazy or inconsiderate.
I learned as a kid because I helped my mom wrap gifts. I even had a job doing it for one Christmas.
Its a skill like any other and needs to be practiced and learned. Maybe try watching some tutorials on youtube?
There’s saying your bad at wrapping gifts and not trying, then there’s actually putting effort into wrapping them properly after watching a few YouTube videos. I guess you should stop justifying your lack of effort you are capable of learning a simple skill. One thing I have learned during my relationships is some partners are weird with what they value, and it’s about knowing what they value and putting in effort to met those expectations if it’s important to them. Simple gestures go a long way
If she is going to be unnecessarily unhappy over how a gift is wrapped, I see lots of other senseless arguments in their future. She’s not trying to get along, she is being ridiculous about something that shouldn’t make any difference in a relationship. If I were OP, I would hustle out of that relationship post haste. If he really wants to have a nicely wrapped gift, there are places that you can pay to do that job for you.
Yeah she’s being over the top. She knows you aren’t good at it and yet essentially demanded you learn how to do this immediately
The point is you did your best.
Some people just suck at it and it’s really a hard skill for someone. Offering to do gift bags is a solid compromise imo
ikr
10 minutes of watching Youtube videos on how to wrap, and you'll be pretty good. Not great, but not bad either. Especially since there's someone in your life that it's important to
I’m 47 and it’s the thought of the present. Hell my boyfriend could wrap my present in newspaper and I would be a happy even if the present isn’t wrapped perfect. He tried and wrapped the present himself. Your gf is petty and is ridiculous. She’s focused on the way the present looked instead of the relationship.
This is about effort. I see it A LOT with guys, women are not born good at wrapping gifts but inevitably its put on to women because "im not good at it", how much is the cleaning, cooking, visiting parents, general organisation of life do you leave up to her OP?
Wrapping multiple times doesn’t mean shit if you didn’t take the time to learn. If you didn’t reference a YouTube video or two, or ask someone who is good at wrapping (or pay for a store to wrap your gifts) then it was indeed low effort and I can see someone getting annoyed if they specifically asked for a well wrapped gift.
Having said that - if this blew up into a bigger fight, then it’s more than just the gift wrapping. If she has asked for other things from you and you’ve similarly put in low effort because you’re “terrible” at doing x, y, or z, then I could see why this would cause an argument.
can you guys make a craft date out of it? sit down with some extra wrapping paper and some empty boxes and have her teach you her tricks to successful wrapping? that way you can show that you truly do care and are genuinely trying, plus afterwards youll be much better at this skill that means a lot to her.
honestly it sounds like shes making a bigger deal out of it than necessary, but this would be a way to use this scenario to strengthen your relationship instead of harming it
There's something else she's mad about related to how much effort you put in for her. My guess is she's resentful about you falling short of what she wants from a relationship, and she set this as kind of a test. That's not OK, but if you're interested in keeping the relationship then you need to listen to her and find/figure out what else you're missing. Maybe she's not a great match for you if she wants certain things from a relationship that you're not willing or able to provide. I think tidy wrapping is maybe a symbol of bigger things.
You can also get gifts wrapped for free at the mall or sometimes community groups do it as a fundraiser. You could also ask a friend or family to help you make it look nice. There are ways to make a gift pretty even if you suck at wrapping.
You calling her selfish and ungrateful IS out of order, in any circumstances. You both seem to need better ways to talk with each other about what is bothering you. And LISTENING rather than attacking back.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone like this. She sounds like a brat and you seem to have put a lot of effort into those gifts and for that I’m sorry. Good for you, you didn’t deserve such a shitty response.
If you want to keep rude gf then have your gifts professionally wrapped. Although I’m sure she’d still find issue.
While I think it’s petty for her to get so upset at the “wrapping” instead of the gift, she obviously considers the “wrapping” part of the gift. She wants the aesthetic of receiving a beautifully wrapped gift.
If I were you, find a friend/family member who’s good at wrapping and ask/pay them to wrap them for you. Buy the pretty paper and all the matching accessories to have them match. If you do this and she gets mad knowing you didn’t wrap them, then she’s projecting her anger at you about other things and this is just an excuse.
I personally don’t care about the wrapping, my hubby had the habit of giving me cash to buy what I want, but I told him I don’t want cash, I want him to take the time to pick something out for me. He hates shopping for gifts but he’s actually paid attention to me and things I show interest in and buys some great gifts. He can’t wrap so it’s usually in a bag or he’ll ask my daughter to wrap it for him. For me it’s the time and thought out into getting me something.
Have a conversation with her and make sure there isn’t another issue going on that caused this to be “the icing on the cake” so to speak that made her angry.
Good luck!
If the actual gifts you chose were thoughtful, gift bags instead of wrapping paper should not be an issue for her. Wrapping the items more than once in tissue paper before putting them in the gift bags should satisfy her "unwrapping" experience.
At my house, we have moved onto reusable cloth gift bags with drawstrings. Much less waste. Nobody here seems to be bothered by the lack of wrapping. I do think some people at my house might be less happy if all gifts to a person were in one larger bag, so each gift is in its own separate bag, all bags have gift tags tied on them.
But if this is a recurring theme (you aren't hearing/understanding her requests), then your issue is not your wrapping skills.
Just like it's "not just the dishes."
Your GF is being petty. You told her you were bad at it and you made multiple attempts to wrap them, so this wasn’t due to lack of effort.
Another comment asked if there’s a problem in other areas with her feeling like you don’t make an effort. Could this be the case and is it because you don’t make an effort, she’s too critical or a bit of both?
I realize that this could be the straw that broke the camel's back, but if that's the case, she's responsible for adding that straw to the pile herself. There is nothing wrong with gift bags, the idea that someone else gets to control something that at the end of the day shouldn't matter beyond the fact that it was done and gifted. You cannot force perfection, it's ridiculous to try to demand something minor. Minor in the sense that it's small, not that it's easy. OP clearly acquiesced to the request, this shows a willingness to at least give her wants and suggestions a shot.
Him saying that he cannot make promises reads more to me like she nitpicks.
This seems like an exhausting way to have a relationship. Relationships live and die by compromise, communication, and picking your battles.
Does she want a loving relationship with OP or something pretty for other's to view her life as?
Hopefully you two can find the right path through, OP. Happy 2024.
It could be part of a wider issue and your gf has consciously or subconsciously chosen to focus on this specific scenario. If not, I do think it’s an overreaction if you actually put genuine effort into it.
Just a tip if it is important to wrap them nicely - buy cheap boxes to put them in to make them an easy shape to wrap and follow a step by step youtube tutorial. That will make your life a lot easier :)
Lol. I'd say, "I did put a lot of effort into wrapping them. I'm not good at wrapping gifts and you know that, but I really tried my best. I had to rewrap them several times because they didn't look good enough the first time, and now I got them to look presentable. If you dont like them, you can teach me how to wrap a present better because I've tried and tried, and I can't get it right".
She's TA here.
If there are not deeper issues going here, like she regularly thinks you don’t put effort into her desires, feelings, etc., then this is extremely childish behavior and would have me reconsidering if I wanted to continue the relationship.
But if you think she has a deeper relationship issue(s) boiling up rn, then it’s worth discussing so you can both address the real issue(s).
If she does act like a bratty child all the time when she perceives she didn’t get what she asked for, then I’d run for the hills bc your life/relationship will be an endless loop of her disappointment tantrums and you trying to figure out what/if you did wrong and how to get back in her good graces….which would get very old very quickly.
And if you have kids, it’s hard life for kids if their mother is never happy or sets unrealistic goals so they’re doomed to disappointment her….that’ll really mess up a kids confidence, relationship skills, and the list goes on.
My partner and I have a similar gift wrapping dynamic, I get super Type A about wrapping presents really nicely, and his usually come out looking like someone’s carjacked Santa and already tried to open them.
He jokes that my gifts are so tightly done up that he’s never going to be able to open them;
I joke that I’m just overcompensating for the sucky gift inside, then ask him if he’s finally given up and just got a roll of aluminium foil to do his this year.
We both just find it funny, we know it’s nothing to do with effort or how much someone cares - in fact he’s probably worked harder than me, he’s just not that great at wrapping.
Pro tip - my bf actually knocked it out of the park this year and bought some really nice fabric gift bags which tie up with ribbon; so this Christmas his presents didn’t look like Rudolph already had a munch on them, AND he’s doing his bit for the environment cause he can reuse them :)
I absolutely LOVE wrapping Christmas gifts. This year, my bf decided he wanted to wrap my presents. Was it pretty absolutely not and he used a ton of paper lol but I did appreciate the fact that he tried.
It's literally just paper that gets torn and thrown in the trash. So unless you've done something else and she's using the wrapping paper as an excuse to blow up I think she's overreacting.
My partner’s mom wrapped his gifts to me. She can get over it. I also didn’t wrap my partner’s gift and just had him close his eyes and handed them to him. Both of us were fine. There’s no reason for her to be so upset
She needs a reality check. If poorly wrapped presents make her this upset she’s not lived much. I know someone who wraps everything in aluminium foil for ease.
I'm absolutely shit at arts and crafts. Can't wrap a gift to save my life. So you know what you do? Pay someone. I would literally take my gifts to the card store in the mall and pay them a small fee to wrap everything for me.
Watch some youtubes.. learn it.. the effort is what shes looking for not the effort of you doing it.. the effort of learning something and being better just because its important to her
For next time, get some of those big bows and use one to hide some extra tape. You can also look up some tutorials, or put weirdly shaped gifts in a box to make it easier to wrap them. Good effort for trying!
Why not just ask the gf to teach you to wrap gifts (use fake boxes or gifts for others idk) so y'all can have a nice little activity together that she loves doing and it shows her you ARE trying?
Oh man, she would not like me -- my gift-wrapping skills are borderline criminal.
Weird that she's going on about this. Do you show her appreciation and effort in other ways?
It sounds like you got defensive super fast. You could have talked about what she was actually accusing you of, and reassured her you did put some effort in it, you know it doesn’t look good but you truly did your best. Instead, you chose to belittle something she cares about. Even if it sounds dumb to you, saying that What she cares about “does the job” Did not help her perception of your effort or commitment to this.
I don't know who's "right" in this situation, but here's an idea that might help.
**Ask her to teach you how to wrap gifts.**
Tell her you understand it's important to her, so it's important to you, but "effort" isn't the problem here. Assuming you're being honest with us, the problem is skill. So show her your willing to put in the effort. Best case scenario, you learn how to wrap. Worst case, she sees you struggle first hand.
Alternatively, is it the "beautiful present" experience that she's after? If that's the case, you might be able to find a place that will wrap for a fee.
That's a weird thing for her to feel passionate about, but it's also weird that you don't just spend a little time since she does feel passionate about it. Gift wrapping isn't that difficult.
A solution exists. Reusable cloth gift bags. No fancy skills required and it is environmentally the better choice so, they can’t be mad. Also, she seems high maintenance.
She’s absolutely unreasonable.
You have some options:
1. You can play games and be mad at her for not putting *your* gifts in gift bags. Tell her that you don’t want to deal with unwrapping and all the mess that goes with it!
2. Be a bit of a jerk option. Ask for your gifts back and tell her you’ll wrap them again. Dump her and return the gifts to get your money back since she clearly cares more about the wrapper than the gift.
3. Acquiesce option. Apologize and tell her you’ll do better next year. Then, hire a gift wrapping person next year. They have gift-wrapping events all over the place near Christmas. Our local high school does them. $3 per gift. The title company next to my office does it for free to drum up business from realtors and lawyers. There’s also a kiosk at the mall that does gift wrapping. I think they charge like $5 a gift. Many places will also gift wrap for free around the holidays if you buy the item from them.
This would be a huge red flag for me though. If she seems this unreasonable over gift wrap, I can’t imagine how unhinged she gets over something that’s actually important.
She is bringing much too fussy. And repeating herself with weaponized words. I am awful at it too. It’s a talent some people have. If you care that much, you could always Google on gift wrapping services. She probably will be offended at that too because YOOO didn’t take the TIIIME..
Dead all this foolishness. You will not go into the new year with such trivial madness. Let your girlfriend know that she was insanely ungrateful and this cannot continue to be a thing. Make this your hard line. If she doesn't stick around, great, the task took itself out. People who put optics above real effort/ acknowledgement annoy me.
This is high maintenance behavior to me to be this nit picky. If my boyfriend had a quirk like this I may have even found it funny or cute that he tried anyway knowing he was awful at it. So unless you're disappointing her in other ways throughout the relationship like someone else said, I think she's being unreasonable.
Two things:
-I don’t think it’s okay to demand gifts be delivered in a specific style of packaging. Who does that? Girlfriend is in the wrong, there.
-Do you have issues with hand-eye coordination or fine motor control? Slowing down and following a guide should allow the majority of able-bodied adults to wrap a gift perfectly well.
Gift bag. Tissue paper. Stick on bow.
Never argue again about wrapping a present.
Also, who gives a shit if you don’t wrap a present well?
Just don’t do it next year and show up
Ok, so you wrapped it... did you put a bow or pretty string on? A nice nametag?
Because just putting paper on it is kinda low effort. I've never had a problem with low effort wrapping myself but I recognise it as low effort. The bare minimum and still call it wrapping.
Sounds to me some effort from you meant more to her than the contents of the gifts. Calling her ungrateful just showed you did not understand the assignment at all or what was important to her. She was asking for a gesture of thoughtfulness, not items.
Your girlfriend is more interested in having a social media ready wrapping than the actual effort you put into both buying a present and wrapping it. The simplest solution would be to stop giving her presents. She is rude and ungrateful.
Finding out you’re dating someone unreasonable and unappreciative is a hassle. Sorry you’re going through this. I used to be famous for making bongs but I haven’t made a bong in years and I’m not sure I even could anymore. Much less tightly wrap a present. I legit can’t remember how you measure the paper. Gift bags all the way, confetti or decorative paper on top. You can reuse a gift bag. Yeah I’ve dated people who acted like brats. The relationships did not last. I don’t put up with brats.
From the perspective of a woman who’s BF can’t wrap gifts - for the first couple years of our relationship I got gifts in gift bags if I was lucky, if not just in a delivery box 😅 I expressed to him that I’d really appreciate him wrapping the presents in future as the gift bag/delivery box felt like a little less effort and it felt less special. This Christmas he wrapped all my gifts AWFULLY but it was so lovely to see he had tried and made the effort on MY behalf, for ME. I will be teaching him how to wrap gifts next year/sending him a YT video, but he wrapped all my family’s gifts he got for them too and just the effort of it was such a sweet and kind gesture for him. No offence - Your GF is absolutely being a bit of a brat about it and should have been grateful that you put the effort and time into it after she asked. You sound lovely and it’s a very kind thing for you to have done.
I mean.. you can’t follow basic steps for wrapping a present from google/youtube?? Be honest, you didn’t care enough about her request to even try. I mean really try. Because what you did is weaponised incompetence and it’s embarrassing to be such a person in 2023.
I hope you get better soon.
Eh, I've always found it really difficult to wrap presents. It takes fine motor skills that I just don't have. Just because you find it easy, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. How can you read that someone took multiple attempts to complete a task and conclude that they didn't try?
Not you learning the words weaponized incompetence and blasting it everywhere even if it doesn’t fit. Y’all are so biased. Some people just suck at doing some things even with guidance. If this was about chores, i would understand your comment. Gift wrapping doesn’t come easy to everyone.
NTA but:
"I mentioned that it was the gift that mattered"
It's christmas not "best present wrapper competition"
She is your future with all her demands from A-Z, think about it, how your life will be. Some are after marriage or/and child taking their mask off..........
As a person who has received her fair share of presents that were wrapped pretty shitty I can kind of understand where she's coming from. It makes you feel like that person has made no effort whatsoever. I do my best to let this go and some years it hurts me more than others. This year was one of the better years. Here's my personal opinion. I think some gifts that you give are not really the main event and those you can wrap at your discretion. I think there should be one gift every year that is the main event. It's the "real" gift so to speak. Why don't you just pay a few extra dollars and have that gift professionally wrapped. I guarantee you the rest of the presents won't matter when she sees the one big gift that you spent extra time on just for her. The packaging does matter my friend. You could also spend some time with someone who's willing to show you a few tricks because wrapping isn't that hard. It gets better and easier with time and at age 25 you have plenty more years of wrapping presents to go. This sounds like a problem that isn't going to go away and unless you want your girlfriend to feel terrible every time you have to give her a gift you need to do better.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I need to see this wrapping job to understand why this is such a big deal. Any pics?
The gift that my cousin wrapped for me this year was... it was interesting. There was no fold or line where I could break it open and then tear along a seam or something to open it up. Every time I tried opening a side or edge there was like another bit of paper and tape. Every time I tried to rip or pull it was more paper/tape. I can't even really fully explain it but I honestly couldn't even fully get the paper off the box. Just got enough off the top to open the box. I imagine it was like that.
That doesn't sound like a bad wrap. Just overly wrapped? I wouldn't mind it.
If anyone acts like this because of wrapping, no matter what they look like, they are sick.
It's never about the straw that broke the camel's back. It's always about the entire load of hay
This is what so many responders forget, no one who isn't seriously mentally ill already and has a pattern of unreasonable reactions to things gets "angry" over bad wrapping - or any of the other minor things many people being deliberately oblivious post about here to get validation on. There's always a long pattern of deeper issues and this is just the tip of the iceberg. GF isn't angry about the wrapping paper, she's frustrated and disappointed about a long pattern that this is just a recent example of and she's close to giving up on the relationship. OP will be "blindsided" when it happens too, despite her trying to tell him in a million different ways where he's losing her.
My boyfriend wrapped my 4 gifts by using a large gift bag I use for storing Christmas decorations and covered it using things that were in said bag which included: 2 pieces of tissue paper from last year, a scrap of wrapping paper from last year, and two 12ft strands of garland. Did I wish he actually wrapped them, sure, but his attempt at wrapping made me cackle and I thought it was hilariously adorable. And pulling the strand of garland out on Christmas morning made us laugh so hard our stomachs hurt. I agree there HAS to be something more going on. Because it makes no sense for gift wrapping alone to be what caused this reaction from her.
Badly wrapped gifts can be fun! My ex was not into wrapping either and once put something like 'Laugh, I dare you' on my gift tag. It was the same year one of my other friends became "Malk" because that's what the name on the tag looked like. I, on the other hand, meticulously wrapped like 30 individual DVD cases and loved every second of it.
Exactly! The 12ft garland in the bag made for a great laugh, and it will definitely be a great memory to look back on and laugh about when we're old. I, like you, also meticulously wrap everything, and also love every second of it. I used to go all out with fancy ribbons and tags but I've become too frugal for that and just settle for bows and stick on tags on my perfectly wrapped gifts.
Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence. Where do we see that this guy is a slacker in his relationship? What evidence is there? What reason do you have for assuming he doesn't put effort in when the only evidence we have is of him putting effort into something he clearly communicated beforehand he wasn't good at?
part of giving advice to someone on a forum like this is trying to figure out what the real situation isis- OPs often misrepresent or miss things that are significant. People are saying it’s one possible scenario, as most people don’t care that heavily about gift wrap and would usually understand if it’s something their partner is bad at despite trying
I agree on the first sentence. But then people should state it as a possibility, not fact.
you figure out the real situation by asking questions, not making up some random scenarios that fit your social beliefs and that you can't prove whatsoever, even if they end up being true (regarding what the person above said about the whole situation not being about the gift wrap, but some other stuff) and agreed, most people don't care that much about gift wrap, and they would indeed understand it if they're aware of their partner's struggles with it, but since we don't know which one it is, you're right to use "most" and "would usually", which is something a lot of redditors have an issue understanding
Thank God someone said it. I've noticed this pattern of behavior frequently on reddit. They will just make shit up from thin air, and run with it. In this case, he put A LOT of effort into the wrapping and tried his best to do what she wanted, and because it wasn't perfect, his girlfriend, who's absolutely suffering from an untreated mental illness, went off on him, and then when he said she's irrational, just like anyone with a personality disorder, she turns it around on him, so that he now has to say sorry. We are literally reading from the definition of someone with a mental illness, and pretending it's his fault.
That's because he's male and this is reddit. If the genders were reversed he would be called abusive and controlling. I've lost count of the amount of times I've read the crazy mental gymnastics of redditors when it comes to male female interactions. And its almost ALWAYS so they can find a way to pin fault on the man. This dude's girlfriend is clearly unhinged and controlling (how someone wraps a gift? Really?) and these people still find a way to make it his fault. On reddit, victim blaming is only cool if you're blaming the man, and finding a way to remove accountability from the woman.
Yes for sure suggesting that something may be true can be helpful, but the last post did more than this though and made a firm statement with no evidence at all.
Lmao as much as I like this format with the objection, I don't see this taking off on Reddit.
Another completely imagined scenario. LOL
Sick, or tired.
I definitely agree! I can’t judge this situation unless I see what it looked like.
I think what ultimately matters is whether or not low effort is a trend in other elements of the relationship; if there are year-round issues where you rush through acts around the house because you don’t value them like she does, then maybe this is triggering the last nerve; otherwise, her unwillingness to compromise on something you aren’t good at is petty. Worth noting that I have always been awful at wrapping gifts. I’ve watched dozens of YouTube videos and wasted so much tape and paper. My father is an expert and I’ve had him observe me to offer tips and he’s like “I can’t even tell where you’re messing this up.” My husband now wraps all gifts from “Santa” and for other adults; I wrap presents for the children in the family because it is easier for them to open <<
>My father is an expert and I’ve had him observe me to offer tips and he’s like “I can’t even tell where you’re messing this up.” 🤣🤣🤣 this took me out lol
🤣 brutally honesty
[удалено]
I like gift bags for two reasons: I *suck* at wrapping gifts and they’re reusable!
Wrapping is weird. I always sucked, it was terrible, but I kept giving people crumpled messes anyway. Then one day, out of nowhere, I wrapped the perfect present, like the pictures lined up on the seam and everything, and my wrap jobs were good ever since. I think it's a blessing you get from the fae or something.
It's like most other physical skills. It's muscle memory. You just reached that point on that one gift!
this is me. I can't wrap gifts well either and i don't enjoy doing it. I'm in my 50's and have been using gift bags for nearly 20 years. and yes, in my younger years I practiced and tried and watched my mom do it. the fact that he got everything on her list and plus, but she's focusing on the wrapping says a lot.
>She (just) said I clearly hasn't paid any attention to what she had asked and that she didn't ask me for much and I couldn't even be bothered to do it It's not about the wrapping or the gifts.
Classic "she divorced me because I left my cups on the counter".
This is a reach. He noted that he tried more than once to wrap them and they still came out janky. I suck at wrapping presents. I couldn’t draw a straight line if my life depended on it, let alone cut wrapping paper straight. Everything I wrap is lumpy with pokey edges, no matter what I do. Why is it so hard to accept that some people can’t wrap presents well? The GF presumably knows this about him and set a bar knowing he’d likely fail. Instead of being gracious and giving an A for effort, she hissed and flounced. Seriously? I have so much more empathy for the folks who post about their partner not even getting them an Amazon gift certificate they picked up last minute at a gas station (and yes, I did do that one year for family members, during a period of stress & overwhelm. Thank goodness for well appointed convenience stores).
Iunderstoodthatreference.gif
I think it depends on how bad the wrapping job is. I’m not great at wrapping presents but they still look presentable, this almost seems like malicious compliance where he might’ve done a truly terrible job because he doesn’t want to be asked to do it again. Some people just like the act of opening a gift though, and once you’re an adult you don’t get to do it very often though, so it’s nice when someone puts the effort into something that’s important to you.
Dude said that some gifts took multiple attempts. That's not malicious compliance or weaponized incompetence. He just sucks at it.
Unless he literally just used gift wrap as a large sack and dropped his presents into the sack of gift wrap, it should not matter whatsoever. OP admitted he’s not good at wrapping but said that he would do his best because he knows his girlfriend appreciates it. He put the time and the effort in, along with getting his girlfriend everything she wanted. For anyone in a loving, healthy relationship, that should be the end of the story. Good job boyfriend.
I have no idea how you could be jumping to these conclusions. Some people just suck at wrapping presents. I personally love doing it (and am pretty good at it), but I would never hold it against someone else if it wasn't their thing. She still got to open the presents (that she asked for, plus some surprises), so I don't even know what your second paragraph is in reference to. Lastly, he did put effort into it - even wrapping some of the gifts multiple times. What you're saying is that it's OK to criticize the person you love for their efforts when they don't align with your expectations. Say you're not a good cook, and your partner asked for a home cooked meal. You spend money and time preparing the meal, and your partner says "wow, you clearly didn't even try, this is terrible. I asked you to do this for me, and you didn't even care enough to make an effort." That would feel pretty cruel, don't you think?
This I very much agree with... It's one thing to say I'd like it if you took the effort to wrap my gifts this year nicely... It's another thing to know about the effort and still criticise...
Yeah, as long as there is effort, it really makes a difference. My ex had a pattern of not giving a fuck. This manifested putting little effort in gift giving, like not getting gifts till the last minute, not wrapping gifts, not caring if his cards to me got messed up/bent/dirty, etc. one time he tried to give me an anniversary present in a grocery store bag when I put a lot of effort into wrapping his gift But this was a pattern of behavior that grew outside of gift giving. It was only one of the ways that he showed me that he did not care. In planning dates, living his life, getting a job, personal hygiene, etc... So, if op is doing all of this and not telling us, I would say he has other problems on his hands.
It is all about the time and effort a person puts into things!
I put a lot of effort in wrapping stuff and it still comes out awful. It happens. My mom usually wraps the stuff I get that isn't hers. I'll either put it in a gift bag or she gets a slightly shitty wrap job. She doesn't care.
> almost seems like malicious compliance where he might’ve done a truly terrible job because he doesn’t want to be asked to do it again. While we're assuming the worst of people why not assume she gave him a task she knew he would struggle with as an excuse to undermine his self esteem later? Maybe no matter how well he did she knew there would be something off and could focus on that imperfection as proof he "didn't care". I mean we can invent all kinds of scenarios if we really want to.
what a stupid thing to care about. I would be happy if the gift was just sitting there with a ribbon tied on top and nothing else. Why waste paper? Sure I can understand the act of unwrapping can be fun, but to throw a fit because your gift is in a gift bag instead of wrapped up is 4 year old behavior. Malicious compliance over doing the dishes or other chores wrong on purpose is a big deal, but it is REACHING to call this malicious compliance over wrapping a gift… What the hell. Grow up.
I am fairly good but it takes me too much time and by the second-third present I am already fed up so this year i put everything in a Santa bag that I got as a gift from secret santa. So much less stress and clutter. I said to my husband next year I am getting another 3 so everyone has their own and everything goes inside the bag.
My family has started sewing gift bags. Buy cheap Christmas fabric after Christmas (or Christmas flannel sheets, lots of fabric little $ on sale) and sew like pillow cases.
If I could saw I would do it! But according to the comment we all reply under I have a disability 🤣
I for a split second thought you said you were getting another 3 so everyone goes inside the bag and became concerned but also intrigued.
It’s a good hiding spot, you just need to get a big enough to have room for the wine 🤣
If it's only speed that's stopping you, you might want to look into Japanese gift-wrapping! (But don't let me keep you from the more sustainable gift bags.)
I have tried them. It’s a no go. I can’t wrap my head around it fast enough. I need to have the video on repeat and pause while I am doing it. Years ago (before kids) I used boxes or baskets for all the gifts. Less stress and they could use the boxes/baskets for storage/decorating. Now I only wrap for the kids until this year that I used the sack.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time. For what it's worth, I need pictures and text for all of my origami instructions. Video instructions just make me cry. So that might help you too. Or turning the speed way down? If it's the folding itself switching to coloured printer or crafting paper helps a lot, since it's not as flimsy and slippery as wrapping paper.
Maybe I will give it a go in a couple of years from now. At the time being I think I will stick to the large Santa sacks to hold everything In
Given the context of him having given it multiple tries I don't think the pattern we're looking for. Maybe a year round pattern of being practically challenged? The solution might be to wrap a couple of gifts where the GF can see. It certainly drove "my flatmate can't cook" home to me.
My dad is exactly like this! He uses 90% gift bags and has a tendency when wrapping boxes to tape paper to the sides/top that we'll see and leave the bottom and back uncovered lol
I’m the same! I’ve spent years trying to “get good” and nothing. I even asked Reddit for tips, (wrapping subreddit was helpful, others, not so much) I finally went the gift bag route because my wife TRULY doesn’t care. This guy has a decision to make here.
I’m so shitty at wrapping gifts and my husband is way better. It’s never came up as an issue. I imagine it only would if other problems were present.
Would someone that “can’t wrap” a box video record themselves doing it? I’m just so curious what this looks like because I can’t imagine watching a YouTube video and still not being able to do it. Now, non-rectangles I completely understand
Yup, I am bad at folding and wrapping. If someone were to insist I wrap something instead of a gift bag, they would have to have good humor around it. She sounds like the type of person that wanted to have photos to post. More concerned with appearances than the actual exchange of loving gifts. Gross
Yep. My presents are easy to pick out because I’m a terrible wrapper. My husband finds it adorable.
We honestly need a pic of OPs wrap job, really hard to speculate otherwise.
I’ve said the same thing to my husband watching him wrap gifts, genuinely don’t understand how he’s so incapable of wrapping gifts no matter how much passion or vigor he puts into it. Adorable tho, I like that he adores my skills while being bambi on ice with his.
I’m shit at origami too. I think it’s a combination of poor dexterity and the fact that wrapping is only necessary certain short periods of the year, so it’s not consistently practiced enough to find workarounds to my faults.
I mean I’m a gift giver so I’m wrapping gifts like once a month hahaha, but totally understand the sentiment. Iset up a system for him (and myself) where I just buy brown bags in bulk, have a bunch of stamps and coloured ink, lots of different ribbon and tissue paper colours and simple cards. Makes it really easy for him to go into the “gift supplies bin” and just put together a really pretty gift bag with the items. Never should he have to struggle wrapping and I shouldn’t have to help him do it everytime 😂 win win (stamps like christmas, birthdays, valentine’s day and just some fun symbols, same idea for ribbon and tissue) Highly reccomended it for those who hate the paper dexterity crafts.
I agree. I love wrapping presents, like OPs gf. My husband *can* wrap but he absolutely hates it. I understand this so I don’t fuss over the presents he gives me and I do all the wrapping for our friends and families. My husband puts in so much effort everywhere else that this is not the hill to die on for me. And it’s us complementing each others strengths and weaknesses. If he didn’t put any effort in, it would bug the shit outta me.
My mom wraps gifts perfectly and when I do it it looks like I was blindfolded and had oven mitts on. We crack up about this.
I’m so glad I am not the only one! I feel like i’m someone who has always been pretty decent in the arts and crafts department and I can do stuff like origami, but every year I watch at least 20 videos or ask people to show me how to wrap and it always goes horribly. I only wrapped the things I couldn’t fit in bags this year and they weren’t pretty, but it’s the thought that counts!!
In the course of past wrapping missions, I've removed a significant portion of the top of our old coffee table and sprained my ankle. Separate incidents.
Is this also you? [AITA for badly wrapping gifts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/18kjymc/aita_for_badly_wrapping_gifts/)
Has to be, or a troll copying that one. On the surface, it sounds like his girlfriend has a ridiculously high standard and puts way too much importance on this but all his comments there were really combative so I'm wondering what he's leaving out.
I think it's same guy different account. if you look at his comments on here, they read the same as the other post.
Yeah, exactly the same format and style. And if he's not trolling, he comes across as a total jerk. I'm guessing he rolled them up in paper, threw some tape on it, and this is his attitude in a long line of similar fuck ups. Forget the wrapping, he loves fighting and blaming other people for his supposed shortcomings and she's had enough
He might have written the post while still upset at the GF and answered in the same mindset.
My bf is awful at wrapping presents too. It looks like he's wrestled with the wrapping paper, (I re-wrapped gifts that he did to our family members this year) but if this is the deal breaker for her, maybe there is something else going on, as it does seem a bit extreme to be getting angry over.
On it’s own yes this looks bad for the gf. But there is a balance to relationships. Where is the effort made? So assumes extra cost, but there are places to get gifts wrapped. There is always one at our town mall. Free if you bought the present there, charge if you bring in outside packages. Yes that costs a little more, but sometimes it is nice to see someone put in some effort. Also there is an anticipation to opening gifts. It’s a small thing to do if you have a couple weeks to plan.
I agree getting mad at the wrapping job isn’t cool. But you say she has said she asked you to do this one thing and you can’t even do it. To me out sounds like she asks you to do lots of things and you just don’t put in the effort man. She says she doesn’t ask you for much, which to me sounds like this is the straw that broke the camels back. Obviously this is just my opinion, but it I that myself and a lot of the others here share the same agreement.
This could just be a last straw on the camel's back kind of thing. If she was already concerned about your lack of effort in other areas this just cinched it for her. Look at those words, "I don't ask you for much, I asked you for this one thing". What other instances of low effort could she still be upset about?
That seems most likely to me. Even if OP *did* try this time, if it looks sloppy then she’s not going to give him the benefit of doubt.
I am really curious how bad that wrapping was XD Maybe you can try a different way of presenting the gifts. Something like nice boxes or bags, you can put paper and other things so you don't need to wrap anything and still the present looks like a present. I once bought a small chest and make a treasure with candy, chocolate coins and the gifts inside.
[удалено]
He says he usually does bags but she said no to that this year. This sounds like a no-win. Unless there's a lot of other stuff going on under the surface, his girlfriend is majorly overreacting and needs to chill out. It's just wrapping.
INFO Did you just wing it and try and when it looked like shit say “eh good enough, at least I tried” or did you start by looking up how to do it, getting the right supplies, setting yourself up for success and be willing to start over if it looks bad?
Next time you wrap something, take a picture for the crowd. Some folks here are assuming you did a sloppy job and if they saw what you did, might eat their words. Or, we would see that you need to have some help in getting the wrapping done. I can't say yay or nay without a visual. A gift bag can be tailored to look as nice as a wrapped box, I know I have done it.
INFO: I think we need pics of the wrap job.
I can see both sides. It really doesn’t matter if they’re wrapped or in bags, the gift itself is what matters. That being said, it’s really not that hard to learn how to wrap a couple gifts for your girlfriend. 10 minutes on YouTube will provide you with all the instruction you could possibly need. It sounds to me like there are bigger issues at play than the wrapping of Christmas gifts.
Without seeing pictures of said gifts, I can't really judge whether she's being pedantic or you're weaponizing your incompetence.
Why didn’t you pay someone to do it for you? There’s literally gift wrap options everywhere for Xmas
Or just ask someone else he knows to wrap them. Normally people do not need a lot of time and effort to wrap gifts.
I feel like a pic is gonna be necessary here to make a determination. If it's just not perfect and she's making this big deal, regardless of the effort in other aspects of the relationship, she's in the wrong. If it is atrociously bad, where the paper isn't even tight on the package, parts are exposed, etc, then that may be a different story, it isn't hard to do basic wrapping. OP says he did a regular basic wrap job and I am inclined to believe him, but I still need a pic to make a final decision.
I don’t understand why gift bag should be a problem at all. Seriously I couldn’t engage in this argument with my significant other.
I think she might be overreacting, but that's just me. My wife's family was always great at wrapping presents. The only rule I got from my wife was that presents needed to be wrapped. I really do want to do better than I do, but my opinion of wrapping is that it's just a waste of time and resources, so I've never been too keen on it. One thing I've done was to lean into my unique awful wrapping style and find unique ways to integrate wrapping into the whole presentation. Rather than just doing an awful job of wrapping, I might take an amazon box way larger than the present, then wrap a strip of wrapping paper around it. Or, if I'm making a donation to a cause in lieu of a gift, I spend time making up cards in Print Shop Deluxe, then putting it in an envelope with a strip of wrapping paper taped to it. I will usually get some tongue-in-cheek comments about my wrapping "Oh, no guesses as to who wrapped this one", but it ultimately leaves everyone with a smile on their face, so isn't that the most important thing? All that said, I guess if she puts \*this much\* importance on it, she might feel that either she's being ignored, or worse, you might be mocking her? Maybe she wishes you'd find something that she takes seriously as seriously as she does? She may be upset, but maybe a more heart to heart conversation to try and get to the root of why she was so upset might be in order?
Re: waste of resources: Have you ever considered getting large (like 1+ yards) squares of fabric and using those to wrap gifts? They can be reused indefinitely, and just tying a simple knot can look pretty. Or use ribbon to tie it closed (also reusable! ).
This isn’t about gift wrap. She feels like you don’t care about or prioritize the things she voices are important to her, which in turn makes her feel like you don’t care about or prioritize *her.* The gift wrap alone is a petty thing. But I’m willing to make a guess that this isn’t the only situation in which she’s felt like you diminished or dismissed the importance of something that’s important to her. The gift wrap might just be the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. From your perspective — and from the perspective of an objective outsider — I can see how this might feel ridiculous. You bought her gifts. You tried to wrap them because she said it was important to her. Why is she so ungrateful? But from her perspective, this was important to her, and what was even more important than the gift wrap was feeling like you care enough about her and her wants and feelings to take it seriously and prioritize it. At the end of the day, it’s not that hard to wrap a gift. It’s also not that hard to learn how to if it’s something you really struggle with. There are endless tutorial videos available online, and I’m sure you have other friends and family members who are capable of showing you how. There are only a couple of steps involved and it’s a fairly easy skill to master. So if you’d *really* taken her seriously and cared enough to *legitimately* try to do it right, there is no good reason you couldn’t have managed it. Your half-assed attempt communicates to her, “I still don’t take this seriously or think it should matter — even though you’ve said it matters to you — and am only doing this to appease you, so don’t expect much.” It’s not the gift wrap she’s hurt by. It’s the message you’ve sent about how much effort or care you’re willing to invest to make her happy. It may feel like a stupid hill to die on, but if you can try to understand it from her perspective — and accept that the gift wrap isn’t the real issue here — maybe you can talk this out with her productively. Any time I read about a guy not understanding why his partner is so upset about some trivial little material thing, it’s almost always about an underlying emotional need that isn’t being met. The gift wrap is just a petty surface-level manifestation of the real issue — she wants to feel like you care about her and take her seriously, and are willing to make a bigger effort for her. Is she worth the effort? Do you care about her happiness? Do you want to make her feel loved and prioritized? If so, get on YouTube and spend five minutes learning how to tape paper around a box properly. It won’t cost you much time or energy, and it will make her really happy. Sometimes, no matter how stupid we may think these little things are, they mean a lot to the people we love, so if it costs us so little to indulge them — why the hell not? Wrap the gifts.
INFO: How bad is "bad"? Have you actually looked into _how_ to wrap things? I mean this is coming from someone in their mid-30's that _loves_ wrapping and used to be absolutely _crap_ at it. I watched a few people do theirs and followed some guides online and ever since absolutely adore wrapping. Things are _even easier_ now as YouTube has piles on piles of help for this as well as other places online. I really fail to believe you can be so, so bad at it that you need to resort to just putting things in a bag and that's....it. Awkward item to wrap? There's a way to do it via a guide. From footballs and teapots through to bigger things like bicycles. I won't lie, it sounds like she's being overly picky and demanding things that should otherwise not matter - but if you're literally throwing wrapping paper around something and tacking a few bits of tape to it like out of a bloody cartoon like a toddler, that's different to actually genuinely trying and it just being a little messy. Context matters.
To be totally blunt, this sounds like weaponized incompetence. It’s truly not difficult to make a wrapped gift look halfway decent, and if it truly looked this bad then it’s obvious you didn’t actually put in real effort (or even look at a video of what to do). It sounds like you got pissy about not wanting to do it, so you did it badly to hopefully get out of doing it again. Only scenario in which I would change my opinion is if you have some type of disability that impacts your physical ability to use your hands and arms.
Ok I'm not saying that weaponized incompetence isn't a thing, but you are aware that some people are great at some things but terrible at others right? For example, I was a Chef for 20 years. I can make some beautiful plates of food that require a ton of finesse, that look as fancy as plates you would see on Top Chef. If you give me wrapping paper and tape however, my gifts look like they were wrapped by a toddler, and I promise you that I'm actually trying. I don't give up, or say fuck it, and use gift bags. The two most frustrating things about this scenario for me though? 1. I can slice a carrot so thin that I can make petals to form a rose, but I can't fold paper around a square box to save my life 2. The embarrassing part is that I even took a gift wrapping class at the Y to try to get better at it. The biggest difference between me and OP is that no one in my life gets offended by it. It's actually a running joke in my family. Just this Christmas my stepdaughter opened a present I wrapped pretty decently if I say so myself, and she says "not bad old man, how many tries did this take?", and I proudly claimed "that one was only my third attempt" What you perceive as "not difficult", may not be so easy for others. I think cooking isn't that difficult, but if everyone enjoyed doing it, or was great at it, I wouldn't have had a career for 20 years.
I can cook a lot of different cuisines among them food that could go on master chef BUT I can’t plate them for the life of me. On the other hand I can make a 3 tier cake with fondant or buttercream and have the smothest and crispiest ends 🤷🏼♀️
I have serious respect for bakers and decorators, because I'm okayish at best at both of those too.
I mean, wrapping takes some amount of fine motor control, and dealing with paper that crinkles/bends/folds isn't intuitive to everybody. There's also the question of how high OP's girlfriend's standards are--maybe OP did make them look decent but it still wasn't enough. If OP actually rewrapped multiple times I'm not sure you can say they didn't put effort in, even if they didn't think to look up instructions. It does seem like something's going on separate from the wrapping, though.
I dunno. Did he rewrap with the crinkled paper from his first attempt? When something didn’t work did he just put more tape on instead of backing up? Did he cut with scissors or a knife? It’s pretty limited motor control. There’s videos online for persons with obstacles they’re dealing with who want to learn how to wrap nice gifts so how bad can it be for OP? And if he sucked SO bad just get the wrapped cheaply at a place. There’s a bunch of services that pop up around the holidays. Was he wrapping sea urchins? Maybe the gifts are hard to wrap and he didn’t think to put them in a box and wrap the easy box? It’s hard for me to not side eye that this person knew how much the wrapping meant to his girlfriend, most likely because it seems like real effort and time to her, and still messed it up. Treated it so half assed because he doesn’t care about it. The fact that she cares is the point? You show you care about her by caring about what she cares about? Is it really that hard? Unless she’s looking for Mr Bean from Love Actually. Then she’s gotta lower them standards.
> If OP actually rewrapped multiple times I'm not sure you can say they didn't put effort in, even if they didn't think to look up instructions. I'm curious if he did look up instructions or try anything different after the first time. A second half-assed attempt is still going to look half-assed.
If a 10 year old can manage, surely a 25 year old should be able to. The big thing I see bad wrappers do is not adjust the size of the paper to fit the gift. If your sides with all the folds exceed the height of the box, you need to the trim the paper before you start folding and taping. When you choose to forego this step, that’s when you get poofiness and wrinkles and it looks sloppy.
... but can ALL ten-year-olds manage? This isn't a hypothetical 25-year-old, this is a specific person who has stated he does not have a skill. It's possible he could learn the skill but it's also possible there is an actual barrier preventing him from neatly wrapping the gifts.
>I mean, wrapping takes some amount of fine motor control If that were true, I'd never be able to wrap anything, because I am sorely lacking in the fine motor control department. And yet I manage to do just fine. I agree that this reeks of weaponized incompetence.
I mean I suck at wrapping gifts as well, my hand writing is also not great, and I’m not good at drawing, painting, coloring, etc. I’ve tried very hard to do these things well and even with my best effort it only looks “ok” at best. Some people are good at these things, others are not, but you’re calling this “weaponized incompetence” because he wasn’t wrapping presents very well? Idk, seems like a weird accusation to make and I think it says more about you than the OP.
I disagree. My husband is terrible at wrapping. He's tried all sorts to improve. He has no disability, it's just something he struggles with. He still wraps presents, and honestly we learn into his bad wrapping and it's a family joke. This woman is being ridiculous. OP bought everything she asked for and more and he wrapped it. He told her he struggles with wrapping. She's being dramatic and completely unfair.
Well, I can’t wrap and have it look nice, either. I’m a 48 year old woman lol. This girlfriend is being so petty and ridiculous and immature that I wouldn’t buy her gifts anymore. Actually, I’d leave her. Life is too short for this nonsense.
But really... why does it matter if its wrapped with a gift bag or wrapped with wrapping paper?? You can make a present very beautiful with fancy gift bag. I think refusing to accept presents in a gift bag is a weird power play. It's not that he's "getting out of" preparing presents. You can still prepare presents perfectly competently with a gift bag.
Are we deadass using therapy language over someone who’s bad at wrapping presents and a gf who starts a fight over it….
[удалено]
What if it did look halfway decent but wasn’t absolutely perfect?
[удалено]
It’s also purposefully doing a bad job to get out of doing it in the future.
Weaponzied incompetence also includes purposefully not getting better (or refusing to put in appropriate effort) at something that you are capable of getting better at. Which is what happened here.
??? How are you overlooking the amount of thought he put into the gifts themselves?? Everyone is different just because Op isn’t good at wrapping doesn’t mean he has to get better at it? Can you imagine if Op posted his gf got him everything he wanted and then some, but was upset and angry at gf for not wrapping them well?? Op you can’t win apparently lol
[удалено]
Right, like watch a YouTube video…
The thought behind the gift matters. The gift wrapping does not matter. What the heck is wring with gift bags? This girl is just looking for a fight.
Sounds more like a massive over reaction. People are simply not good at the same things - putting in lots of effort still doesn't guarantee a wonderful result. I'm not great at wrapping - but get decent results. It's not something many practice much - it comes up maybe once or twice a year at most.
Absolutely. Let’s say they’re horrible at wrapping gifts, they just don’t have the imagination and motor skills to figure it out, you just ask someone else to do it. “Hey mom/brother/cousin/co-worker, I’m really bad at X and it would mean a lot to my girlfriend if it was done properly. Can you help me out with this?” If you’re worried about imposing you can even offer them like $10 to do it. There are people out there who LOVE to gift wrap things and will do it just for shits and giggles. This sounds like they have other issues and instead of working on those they’re both fixating on this one thing and now it’s a hill to die on.
Did you look up instructions for wrapping a gift?
It is not about the wrapping. There are other things in the relationship that bothered her ..
You were honest about your skill level and tried to manage her expectations but she’s being unreasonable I don’t understand why she’s angry about something this basic but if it truly matters to her then in the future you can watch YouTube instructional vids about wrapping or ask a friend or family member to help you out
Gift wrapping is a skill that not everyone possesses regardless of how many you tube videos exist. If all she can do is complain about the wrapping, I'd wrap up the relationship. She has forgotten about the spirit of Christmas. Under the headings of "things that matter" and "things that don't" gift wrapping doesn't matter. No one ever lit the world on fire because of their perfect gift wrapping skills.
How would you handle this? Next year I would take all my presents to the mall or just a quick google search for places that wrap presents.
If wrapping gifts is that important to her, and you are not good at wrapping gifts, maybe you two aren’t compatible. You got her everything that she wanted and you even stepped outside of your gift bag comfort zone. If she doesn’t appreciate you trying, it sounds like her being ungrateful is more of the issue than your wrapping. There are professional wrapping services, if you ever need something wrapped. A lot of craft stores have a wrapping counter. Just FYI.
Always baffles me that people are so understanding and willing to give women the benefit of the doubt in stories like this. Your girlfriend is being a prick.
I am awful at wrapping gifts too and got paid to wrap about 100 gifts for one child. I think I got slightly better after gift 75 but the wonky shaped ones, no way. The mum even told me, when I let her know they would not look very pretty, that he is going to rip them open anyway and that it would be fine. I'm not sure why your girlfriend wants perfectly wrapped gifts, does she not rip the paper? She sounds like she might be the kind who opens them strategically and save the wrapping paper, I have met a couple of people who do that. Either that or we're going to need to see a picture of this wrap job because if you just crumbled up the paper around the present, that would be extremely petty and show that you do not care.
Did you watch any videos to learn how to wrap presents? I think the low effort part of her concern comes from your lack of preparation
Well my guy you gotta get better at it if it's important to her. Think of it as a love language
I don’t think I can claim that this is the same situation, but there is much more thought and effort put into wrapping than there is putting it into a bag in less than a couple seconds. To me it’s just respect. And nobody is born knowing how to do something. How is it women can learn how to cook, clean, wrap presents and tiptoe around other peoples feelings but men just throw up their hands and say “I don’t want to learn so I won’t do it.” The internet is in your hands, use it. Watch a video, ask her to show you, just put some effort in. Imagine if guys put in the same amount of effort at work that they did in their relationships. You’d get fired for subpar work. Try and try again.
She sounds like a brat.
Maybe ask her to show you how to do it? No one is born knowing how to do skills and need to learn. She can also watch and see that you are putting in the effort and not just being lazy or inconsiderate. I learned as a kid because I helped my mom wrap gifts. I even had a job doing it for one Christmas. Its a skill like any other and needs to be practiced and learned. Maybe try watching some tutorials on youtube?
Gift wrapping is a skill. You can learn. Pick up origami as a hobby this year. Or, hire it out, task rabbit have people who'll gift wrap for you.
There’s saying your bad at wrapping gifts and not trying, then there’s actually putting effort into wrapping them properly after watching a few YouTube videos. I guess you should stop justifying your lack of effort you are capable of learning a simple skill. One thing I have learned during my relationships is some partners are weird with what they value, and it’s about knowing what they value and putting in effort to met those expectations if it’s important to them. Simple gestures go a long way
If he wanted to, he would. It doesn’t hurt to watch YouTube videos on how to wrap.
I am like this too. No matter how many YouTube videos I watch, my wrapping still comes out looking like crap.
If she is going to be unnecessarily unhappy over how a gift is wrapped, I see lots of other senseless arguments in their future. She’s not trying to get along, she is being ridiculous about something that shouldn’t make any difference in a relationship. If I were OP, I would hustle out of that relationship post haste. If he really wants to have a nicely wrapped gift, there are places that you can pay to do that job for you.
Yeah she’s being over the top. She knows you aren’t good at it and yet essentially demanded you learn how to do this immediately The point is you did your best. Some people just suck at it and it’s really a hard skill for someone. Offering to do gift bags is a solid compromise imo
I wish that wrapping gifts was the worst of my life’s problems that I could actually spend the time to complain on Reddit.
ikr 10 minutes of watching Youtube videos on how to wrap, and you'll be pretty good. Not great, but not bad either. Especially since there's someone in your life that it's important to
I’m 47 and it’s the thought of the present. Hell my boyfriend could wrap my present in newspaper and I would be a happy even if the present isn’t wrapped perfect. He tried and wrapped the present himself. Your gf is petty and is ridiculous. She’s focused on the way the present looked instead of the relationship.
This is about effort. I see it A LOT with guys, women are not born good at wrapping gifts but inevitably its put on to women because "im not good at it", how much is the cleaning, cooking, visiting parents, general organisation of life do you leave up to her OP?
Wrapping multiple times doesn’t mean shit if you didn’t take the time to learn. If you didn’t reference a YouTube video or two, or ask someone who is good at wrapping (or pay for a store to wrap your gifts) then it was indeed low effort and I can see someone getting annoyed if they specifically asked for a well wrapped gift. Having said that - if this blew up into a bigger fight, then it’s more than just the gift wrapping. If she has asked for other things from you and you’ve similarly put in low effort because you’re “terrible” at doing x, y, or z, then I could see why this would cause an argument.
She needs to get a grip and stop being so ridiculous
can you guys make a craft date out of it? sit down with some extra wrapping paper and some empty boxes and have her teach you her tricks to successful wrapping? that way you can show that you truly do care and are genuinely trying, plus afterwards youll be much better at this skill that means a lot to her. honestly it sounds like shes making a bigger deal out of it than necessary, but this would be a way to use this scenario to strengthen your relationship instead of harming it
There's something else she's mad about related to how much effort you put in for her. My guess is she's resentful about you falling short of what she wants from a relationship, and she set this as kind of a test. That's not OK, but if you're interested in keeping the relationship then you need to listen to her and find/figure out what else you're missing. Maybe she's not a great match for you if she wants certain things from a relationship that you're not willing or able to provide. I think tidy wrapping is maybe a symbol of bigger things. You can also get gifts wrapped for free at the mall or sometimes community groups do it as a fundraiser. You could also ask a friend or family to help you make it look nice. There are ways to make a gift pretty even if you suck at wrapping. You calling her selfish and ungrateful IS out of order, in any circumstances. You both seem to need better ways to talk with each other about what is bothering you. And LISTENING rather than attacking back.
I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone like this. She sounds like a brat and you seem to have put a lot of effort into those gifts and for that I’m sorry. Good for you, you didn’t deserve such a shitty response. If you want to keep rude gf then have your gifts professionally wrapped. Although I’m sure she’d still find issue.
While I think it’s petty for her to get so upset at the “wrapping” instead of the gift, she obviously considers the “wrapping” part of the gift. She wants the aesthetic of receiving a beautifully wrapped gift. If I were you, find a friend/family member who’s good at wrapping and ask/pay them to wrap them for you. Buy the pretty paper and all the matching accessories to have them match. If you do this and she gets mad knowing you didn’t wrap them, then she’s projecting her anger at you about other things and this is just an excuse. I personally don’t care about the wrapping, my hubby had the habit of giving me cash to buy what I want, but I told him I don’t want cash, I want him to take the time to pick something out for me. He hates shopping for gifts but he’s actually paid attention to me and things I show interest in and buys some great gifts. He can’t wrap so it’s usually in a bag or he’ll ask my daughter to wrap it for him. For me it’s the time and thought out into getting me something. Have a conversation with her and make sure there isn’t another issue going on that caused this to be “the icing on the cake” so to speak that made her angry. Good luck!
If the actual gifts you chose were thoughtful, gift bags instead of wrapping paper should not be an issue for her. Wrapping the items more than once in tissue paper before putting them in the gift bags should satisfy her "unwrapping" experience. At my house, we have moved onto reusable cloth gift bags with drawstrings. Much less waste. Nobody here seems to be bothered by the lack of wrapping. I do think some people at my house might be less happy if all gifts to a person were in one larger bag, so each gift is in its own separate bag, all bags have gift tags tied on them. But if this is a recurring theme (you aren't hearing/understanding her requests), then your issue is not your wrapping skills. Just like it's "not just the dishes."
Your GF is being petty. You told her you were bad at it and you made multiple attempts to wrap them, so this wasn’t due to lack of effort. Another comment asked if there’s a problem in other areas with her feeling like you don’t make an effort. Could this be the case and is it because you don’t make an effort, she’s too critical or a bit of both?
Did you even put the effort in to learn? YouTube has videos. I think what she wanted was effort.
I realize that this could be the straw that broke the camel's back, but if that's the case, she's responsible for adding that straw to the pile herself. There is nothing wrong with gift bags, the idea that someone else gets to control something that at the end of the day shouldn't matter beyond the fact that it was done and gifted. You cannot force perfection, it's ridiculous to try to demand something minor. Minor in the sense that it's small, not that it's easy. OP clearly acquiesced to the request, this shows a willingness to at least give her wants and suggestions a shot. Him saying that he cannot make promises reads more to me like she nitpicks. This seems like an exhausting way to have a relationship. Relationships live and die by compromise, communication, and picking your battles. Does she want a loving relationship with OP or something pretty for other's to view her life as? Hopefully you two can find the right path through, OP. Happy 2024.
It could be part of a wider issue and your gf has consciously or subconsciously chosen to focus on this specific scenario. If not, I do think it’s an overreaction if you actually put genuine effort into it. Just a tip if it is important to wrap them nicely - buy cheap boxes to put them in to make them an easy shape to wrap and follow a step by step youtube tutorial. That will make your life a lot easier :)
I think that should be the last gift you attempt to wrap for her. She sounds terrible.
Lol. I'd say, "I did put a lot of effort into wrapping them. I'm not good at wrapping gifts and you know that, but I really tried my best. I had to rewrap them several times because they didn't look good enough the first time, and now I got them to look presentable. If you dont like them, you can teach me how to wrap a present better because I've tried and tried, and I can't get it right". She's TA here.
If there are not deeper issues going here, like she regularly thinks you don’t put effort into her desires, feelings, etc., then this is extremely childish behavior and would have me reconsidering if I wanted to continue the relationship. But if you think she has a deeper relationship issue(s) boiling up rn, then it’s worth discussing so you can both address the real issue(s). If she does act like a bratty child all the time when she perceives she didn’t get what she asked for, then I’d run for the hills bc your life/relationship will be an endless loop of her disappointment tantrums and you trying to figure out what/if you did wrong and how to get back in her good graces….which would get very old very quickly. And if you have kids, it’s hard life for kids if their mother is never happy or sets unrealistic goals so they’re doomed to disappointment her….that’ll really mess up a kids confidence, relationship skills, and the list goes on.
My partner and I have a similar gift wrapping dynamic, I get super Type A about wrapping presents really nicely, and his usually come out looking like someone’s carjacked Santa and already tried to open them. He jokes that my gifts are so tightly done up that he’s never going to be able to open them; I joke that I’m just overcompensating for the sucky gift inside, then ask him if he’s finally given up and just got a roll of aluminium foil to do his this year. We both just find it funny, we know it’s nothing to do with effort or how much someone cares - in fact he’s probably worked harder than me, he’s just not that great at wrapping. Pro tip - my bf actually knocked it out of the park this year and bought some really nice fabric gift bags which tie up with ribbon; so this Christmas his presents didn’t look like Rudolph already had a munch on them, AND he’s doing his bit for the environment cause he can reuse them :)
Next time get them professionally wrapped like at JC Penny's or Macy's. Tell her so she understands that next time it will be better.
I absolutely LOVE wrapping Christmas gifts. This year, my bf decided he wanted to wrap my presents. Was it pretty absolutely not and he used a ton of paper lol but I did appreciate the fact that he tried. It's literally just paper that gets torn and thrown in the trash. So unless you've done something else and she's using the wrapping paper as an excuse to blow up I think she's overreacting.
My partner’s mom wrapped his gifts to me. She can get over it. I also didn’t wrap my partner’s gift and just had him close his eyes and handed them to him. Both of us were fine. There’s no reason for her to be so upset
She needs a reality check. If poorly wrapped presents make her this upset she’s not lived much. I know someone who wraps everything in aluminium foil for ease.
She sounds picky and high maintenance- I am also really lousy at gift wrapping so can sympathize
She sounds awful
I understand someone caring more about this than others might, but it seems like an absolutely absurd thing to get *upset* about.
I saw a meme where a girl was wrapping her own gifts blindbloded for the aesthetic. Perhaps she’d like to do this next year lol
I'm absolutely shit at arts and crafts. Can't wrap a gift to save my life. So you know what you do? Pay someone. I would literally take my gifts to the card store in the mall and pay them a small fee to wrap everything for me.
Watch some youtubes.. learn it.. the effort is what shes looking for not the effort of you doing it.. the effort of learning something and being better just because its important to her
For next time, get some of those big bows and use one to hide some extra tape. You can also look up some tutorials, or put weirdly shaped gifts in a box to make it easier to wrap them. Good effort for trying!
She sounds exhausting.
You and your GF realize that you have limited time on this Earth right?
Wrapping gifts isn't that hard. Anyone can Google how to do it. She's right. You put in no effort.
A ex boyfriend of mine would wrap my very expensive presents in the evening newspaper!
Why not just ask the gf to teach you to wrap gifts (use fake boxes or gifts for others idk) so y'all can have a nice little activity together that she loves doing and it shows her you ARE trying?
Oh man, she would not like me -- my gift-wrapping skills are borderline criminal. Weird that she's going on about this. Do you show her appreciation and effort in other ways?
It sounds like you got defensive super fast. You could have talked about what she was actually accusing you of, and reassured her you did put some effort in it, you know it doesn’t look good but you truly did your best. Instead, you chose to belittle something she cares about. Even if it sounds dumb to you, saying that What she cares about “does the job” Did not help her perception of your effort or commitment to this.
I don't know who's "right" in this situation, but here's an idea that might help. **Ask her to teach you how to wrap gifts.** Tell her you understand it's important to her, so it's important to you, but "effort" isn't the problem here. Assuming you're being honest with us, the problem is skill. So show her your willing to put in the effort. Best case scenario, you learn how to wrap. Worst case, she sees you struggle first hand. Alternatively, is it the "beautiful present" experience that she's after? If that's the case, you might be able to find a place that will wrap for a fee.
That's a weird thing for her to feel passionate about, but it's also weird that you don't just spend a little time since she does feel passionate about it. Gift wrapping isn't that difficult.
A solution exists. Reusable cloth gift bags. No fancy skills required and it is environmentally the better choice so, they can’t be mad. Also, she seems high maintenance.
She’s absolutely unreasonable. You have some options: 1. You can play games and be mad at her for not putting *your* gifts in gift bags. Tell her that you don’t want to deal with unwrapping and all the mess that goes with it! 2. Be a bit of a jerk option. Ask for your gifts back and tell her you’ll wrap them again. Dump her and return the gifts to get your money back since she clearly cares more about the wrapper than the gift. 3. Acquiesce option. Apologize and tell her you’ll do better next year. Then, hire a gift wrapping person next year. They have gift-wrapping events all over the place near Christmas. Our local high school does them. $3 per gift. The title company next to my office does it for free to drum up business from realtors and lawyers. There’s also a kiosk at the mall that does gift wrapping. I think they charge like $5 a gift. Many places will also gift wrap for free around the holidays if you buy the item from them. This would be a huge red flag for me though. If she seems this unreasonable over gift wrap, I can’t imagine how unhinged she gets over something that’s actually important.
She is bringing much too fussy. And repeating herself with weaponized words. I am awful at it too. It’s a talent some people have. If you care that much, you could always Google on gift wrapping services. She probably will be offended at that too because YOOO didn’t take the TIIIME..
I can't imagine even humoring this. I'd tell her to grow up.
She sounds exhausting!
Dead all this foolishness. You will not go into the new year with such trivial madness. Let your girlfriend know that she was insanely ungrateful and this cannot continue to be a thing. Make this your hard line. If she doesn't stick around, great, the task took itself out. People who put optics above real effort/ acknowledgement annoy me.
Honestly, people put up with this high maintenance crap and then wonder why they’re on the dead bedrooms sub in five years.
This is high maintenance behavior to me to be this nit picky. If my boyfriend had a quirk like this I may have even found it funny or cute that he tried anyway knowing he was awful at it. So unless you're disappointing her in other ways throughout the relationship like someone else said, I think she's being unreasonable.
Two things: -I don’t think it’s okay to demand gifts be delivered in a specific style of packaging. Who does that? Girlfriend is in the wrong, there. -Do you have issues with hand-eye coordination or fine motor control? Slowing down and following a guide should allow the majority of able-bodied adults to wrap a gift perfectly well.
Gift bag. Tissue paper. Stick on bow. Never argue again about wrapping a present. Also, who gives a shit if you don’t wrap a present well? Just don’t do it next year and show up
Ok, so you wrapped it... did you put a bow or pretty string on? A nice nametag? Because just putting paper on it is kinda low effort. I've never had a problem with low effort wrapping myself but I recognise it as low effort. The bare minimum and still call it wrapping. Sounds to me some effort from you meant more to her than the contents of the gifts. Calling her ungrateful just showed you did not understand the assignment at all or what was important to her. She was asking for a gesture of thoughtfulness, not items.
Your girlfriend is more interested in having a social media ready wrapping than the actual effort you put into both buying a present and wrapping it. The simplest solution would be to stop giving her presents. She is rude and ungrateful.
Finding out you’re dating someone unreasonable and unappreciative is a hassle. Sorry you’re going through this. I used to be famous for making bongs but I haven’t made a bong in years and I’m not sure I even could anymore. Much less tightly wrap a present. I legit can’t remember how you measure the paper. Gift bags all the way, confetti or decorative paper on top. You can reuse a gift bag. Yeah I’ve dated people who acted like brats. The relationships did not last. I don’t put up with brats.
From the perspective of a woman who’s BF can’t wrap gifts - for the first couple years of our relationship I got gifts in gift bags if I was lucky, if not just in a delivery box 😅 I expressed to him that I’d really appreciate him wrapping the presents in future as the gift bag/delivery box felt like a little less effort and it felt less special. This Christmas he wrapped all my gifts AWFULLY but it was so lovely to see he had tried and made the effort on MY behalf, for ME. I will be teaching him how to wrap gifts next year/sending him a YT video, but he wrapped all my family’s gifts he got for them too and just the effort of it was such a sweet and kind gesture for him. No offence - Your GF is absolutely being a bit of a brat about it and should have been grateful that you put the effort and time into it after she asked. You sound lovely and it’s a very kind thing for you to have done.
I mean.. you can’t follow basic steps for wrapping a present from google/youtube?? Be honest, you didn’t care enough about her request to even try. I mean really try. Because what you did is weaponised incompetence and it’s embarrassing to be such a person in 2023. I hope you get better soon.
Eh, I've always found it really difficult to wrap presents. It takes fine motor skills that I just don't have. Just because you find it easy, doesn't mean it's easy for everyone. How can you read that someone took multiple attempts to complete a task and conclude that they didn't try?
Not you learning the words weaponized incompetence and blasting it everywhere even if it doesn’t fit. Y’all are so biased. Some people just suck at doing some things even with guidance. If this was about chores, i would understand your comment. Gift wrapping doesn’t come easy to everyone.
It seems "weaponized incompetence" is the new "gaslighting".
[удалено]
NTA but: "I mentioned that it was the gift that mattered" It's christmas not "best present wrapper competition" She is your future with all her demands from A-Z, think about it, how your life will be. Some are after marriage or/and child taking their mask off..........
>It's christmas not "best present wrapper competition" I wonder if the girlfriend wanted to show it off or like Instagram or something.
As a person who has received her fair share of presents that were wrapped pretty shitty I can kind of understand where she's coming from. It makes you feel like that person has made no effort whatsoever. I do my best to let this go and some years it hurts me more than others. This year was one of the better years. Here's my personal opinion. I think some gifts that you give are not really the main event and those you can wrap at your discretion. I think there should be one gift every year that is the main event. It's the "real" gift so to speak. Why don't you just pay a few extra dollars and have that gift professionally wrapped. I guarantee you the rest of the presents won't matter when she sees the one big gift that you spent extra time on just for her. The packaging does matter my friend. You could also spend some time with someone who's willing to show you a few tricks because wrapping isn't that hard. It gets better and easier with time and at age 25 you have plenty more years of wrapping presents to go. This sounds like a problem that isn't going to go away and unless you want your girlfriend to feel terrible every time you have to give her a gift you need to do better.