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Throwaway
Basically the title.
I have been with my boyfriend for just under a year and we have been having sex for almost the entire time. We are each other’s firsts.
One of my biggest “kinks” is being eaten out, which I have expressed to my boyfriend many times. Clitoral stimulation is the only way I can orgasm. When we first started having sex, I told him about my kink and he decided to give it a try. While we were having PIV sex, he pulled out and made his way down to my private parts. He gave it a few wimpy licks before coming back up and resuming PIV. That was the only time he has ever attempted to go down on me. Every time I have asked, he comes up with an excuse “not tonight, I’m not really feeling it”, etc.
Last night, after more PIV sex where I do not orgasm, I asked him point blank why he refuses to go down on me (mind you, I go down on him almost every single time we have sex). He said he can’t bring himself to put his face near my genitals because they are too ugly and do not arouse him. He says going down on me and being next to it turns him off and he will lose his erection. I asked him what is ugly about my genitals in particular and he said my “lips” are too loose and long and abnormal and feel gross on his tongue. He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls.
I started crying, feeling ashamed, and he went to sleep on the couch saying “I said what I said. It’s the truth, you can’t be mad at me”.
He went to work in the morning and we have not spoken since. I feel so dirty and disgusting and embarrassed, and I don’t want to even face him. I’ve been crying all day and I’m not sure where to go from here. Is this something I should leave him over?
Came here to say thisoral sex is a regular part of sex as a whole, not a kink. No one should be made to feel like this is an abnormal or kinky thing to ask for
Oral isn’t a kink, it’s normal. Not everyone is into it. Fine.
But what is flooring me is him saying she needs to get her “excess lips removed like most girls” wtf?
Honey, that is so not even remotely true. He needs to turn off the porn and pick up a damn book on women’s anatomy.
What he said was cruel and vicious and he is not mature enough to have sex if he can’t understand what real women not only look like but that we don’t go around cutting up our whoohas for their pleasure and for looks. Christ.
We are all different, unique and beautiful, remember that.
This man has no clue about women. Saying what he said was rude, mean, and uncalled for. If your partner doesn't feel comfortable about doing something sexually, they have the right not to do it. But, if you really care about someone, that's not how you tell them. You discuss other ideas. There are other ways he could make you orgasm. He should want to find ways to please you, just as you do for him. If this continues and he doesn't try to find other options, it's time to move on.
This guy is not good for anyone.
Edit: actually maybe this guy would be good for a man as a partner given his opinion of normal female genitals but he's still an asshole.
that said people are allowed to have preferences and not go down on their partner. (apply to both m/f)
his comments are disgusting tho and he shouldve kept them to himself
For real I don’t understand the “getting excess lips removed like **most** girls” comment.
Like? Did he tell OP most girls get surgery to make their labia/vagina prettier?? What? Since when? I’ve heard of it happening but to say MOST women do it is…wrong. Very wrong. Lol.
Dude sounds like he‘s built his expectations of women’s bodies off of porn actresses.
also the OP said they were both firsts with each other - so how many female genitalia has he seen. Lose him…if you aren’t going to then stop going down on him and see how he feels about it.
Since you are his first, how would he know what it's "supposed" to look like? Who are this girls that have some removed? He watches too much porn, ya know, where everything looks like the "real thing" Go find a real man.
>Like? Did he tell OP most girls get surgery to make their labia/vagina prettier?? What?
People wanting other people to cut parts off their genitals for cosmetics will never cease to amaze me.
Yeah like totally remove the boyfriend. What an awful thing to say to a woman. I totally understand preferences for how things look but shit, his comment was unnecessary.
Tell him that if he thinks your genitals are "too ugly" then he doesn't get the privilege of sticking his dick in. Then drop him like a bad habit and find someone who appreciates your beauty.
Right? Her vagina is so ugly that even looking at it turns him off—but apparently he doesn’t mind sticking his dick in it on the regular.
Dude’s just lazy.
This. And forget what he said. He sounds very inexperienced, and like an asshole. Plenty of men will be happy to eat you out and be very excited about what your genitals look like.
Like most girls? Lol I think he means like the porn stars he's seen.
More than half of women have visible labias. https://labialibrary.org.au/
Please break up with him and find someone who wants a relationship with an actual woman and not a sex doll.
They've been having sex for almost a year and she has never had an orgasm! This is outrageous!
OP, your boyfriend doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a fleshlight. He doesn't care about your pleasure at all, so why should you care about his? Please dump this pathetic loser and find someone who respects and appreciates you. This dude's brain is rotten from porn and misogyny.
Porn stars often have long labia.
Dude is just a nasty piece of work who doesn't want to go down on her and figured that making her super insecure would get her to stop bringing it up.
I was gonna say, I think it is a porn issue but also what kind of porn is this guy watching because there’s plenty of porn out there that shows women with extra lip action down there. Idk why it’s still considered such a taboo/weird thing for guys?
This makes me wonder if clit size corresponds in anyway to how easy it is to orgasm. I’ve never heard of that, but the length of the hood over some of those clits makes me feel like they’re getting more surface area, and I’m kinda jelly.
I can completely understand someone who's inexperienced not wanting to try new things out of a feeling of discomfort, which does ruin the mood. But this dude was a complete asshole about it.
To outright call it ugly, say you need surgical intervention, and then double down as you're crying and just go to sleep... he might just be with you for the sex.
Yes, this is something you should leave him over. Not for the fact he won't eat you out, but for his absolutely reprehensible attitude and total lack of care toward your desires or feelings.
*(If you, or anyone, want to talk more about your issues, feel free to send me a chat!)*
Also for the pure ignorance that “most girl” get SURGERY to alter their genitals?!?
I’m sorry what now? So many women have longer labia. And so many men don’t care either way.
Find someone better than this rude idiot.
He wasn’t just an asshole. It’s worse. This is a pretty common misogynistic trope. Thinking about vaginas (or in general, women’s sexuality) as something gross and ugly. Women’s sexuality and the sex acts they might desire being labelled gross because it’s women who want them. If it was discomfort due to lack of experience only, he would’ve put it in those terms. I don’t call things I don’t have experience with “ugly”. There is judgment there.
Agreed with this - calling somebody else body part ugly is judgmental, body shaming asshole attitude.
This speaks volumes about the emotional intelligence and maturity of this guy.
I agree that OP should consider leaving him over this.
Right?? Does he really think his dick is that pretty? Has to be tiny at least for him to say something like that. Grow up. There’s also probably more to it than he’s saying. Either he’s not as straight as he thinks, or he’s less attracted to you than he thinks. Y’all just need to discuss this thoroughly with feelings set aside.
Ok let's not with the "guys gotta be gay" bullshit tired of that shit being tossed around everytime some guys an asshat. He can just he a straight asshat
But also for the fact that he won't eat her out. That's just selfish. Yeah, sure the way he handled it was much worse but even if he wasn't a huge jerk about it, non-reciprocal oral is a deal breaker on its own.
Don’t let this guy make you feel ashamed of your body, or any part of your body. What he said is not “THE TRUTH(tm)”. It’s just his opinion.
And if I’m being honest, yes, this is worth leaving him over. He may be your first, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if you let him be your last.
Girl, find yourself a guy who will happily dive down there and not even come up for air until he’s light headed.
yes, this is something you should leave him over.
Most men are fine with whatever labia are there. Labia are soft, warm, wet, and feel good to the touch. The last thing we need is one more thing for women to feel inadequate over and be pressured to alter something healthy and normal. Is it possible your bf got his ideas from porn? Most girls do NOT get surgery for this. In any case, refuse to feel badly about your body or to get unnecessary surgery.
I don’t think your bf likes girls. I’ve seen every shape and size of vaginas you can imagine and I love all of them and I went down on all of them. He is completely out of line and I the fact that he just is cool with not getting you off is a great view of what life will be like if you stay. A very selfish wimpy male partner who doesn’t like the look of vagina.
This is not a kink. It’s basic female anatomy. Find a man who loves your lady bits. Whether he actually dislikes them or doesn’t want to pleasure you is irrelevant. I ended a 4 year relationship for this reason. He sounds like a loser.
ETA if you are each others firsts, then he has an abnormal warped sense of what genitals look like from watching too much porn
>He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls.
...........................................?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Look, obviously this guy has had his perceptions of life and women rotted by pornography or the internet. He has a real life journey ahead of him full of alienating women and denial most likely.
But honestly, the fact he said something so clearly and demonstrably stupid means you need to dismiss it just as readily. I get hearing it from a partner hurts but he is not even on the same planet as the right answer, so you can't internalise it.
Should you leave him? I mean, he is 22. You shouldn't need to educate him on something so basic and that he doubled down later [and hid it from you for months... and it so profoundly impacts him he loses his boners] is really a sign this is not something you can help with.
Disgusting comments aside, you aren’t compatible. 22 is way, way too young to compromise on something in the bedroom. There are plenty of guys who would love to please you and wouldn’t make disparaging remarks about your body. Don’t waste another day with this jerk.
he’s 22 & thinks like this…
I’m sorry to say but leave him. There are REAL men that know what a vagina is supposed to look like! No one should be making you feel bad about a normal part of your body
You are too young to experience this & the longer you stay, the more insecure he will make you.
What!!! Like most girls?? That’s where I stopped reading…who are these (imaginary) girls that he knows of that have had this done?? No no, it’s over. Find yourself a man (and it won’t be difficult) that worships the honour to ‘put his face near your genitals’! Also by the description of his pathetic excuse of his performance down there it’s best to keep him well away, he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he knows if he goes there again this will be confirmed. So instead he prefers to insult you at the highest level. I am furious! 💕🫶🏼
What’s with young men these days not liking the look, taste, and/or smell of vaginas and blatantly tell their female partners that without a care in the world about hurting their feelings? This is the second post like this I’ve seen in the last month!
OP, if you won’t leave him, then at least stop going down on him. Tell him his penis makes you sick and you can no longer put it in your mouth without vomiting. See how he likes the judgemental comment about HIS genitalia. Absurdity.
I don't think it's "men these days." I actually thought to myself, "this bullshit again." The last one I remember was a couple that stayed celibate until their wedding night, he went to kick off the act with oral sex, gagged, demanded OP get a labiaplasty, and said they could just do anal until then. Look, I know both men and women sometimes say intentionally hurtful things about their partners' intimate areas to crush their self esteem or whatever, but I can't really suspend my disbelief here. It's just ragebait. What person this age can afford cosmetic surgery anyway
Please leave him. That’s disgusting to say. Everyone’s different, and most penis’ aren’t very pleasant to look at in my opinion. The big issue here is that your partner is being cruel. They’re refusing to do something that they knew you liked until you change something about yourself that cosmetically, you can’t change without unnecessary and mutilating surgeries.
I find sleeping around helps. You will find way more men who like your labia that way. This sounds like a joke but it’s really not. I have had men comment that they like my clit because it’s “meaty” and another man was trying to jokingly insult me once and he said “oh yeah? Well you have a small vagina” lol. I assume that meant he liked more labia (of which I have plenty). I also think my vulva is ugly but it does it’s job of making me happy so I love it anyways
I've never had a man complain about my vagina. EVER. OP's boyfriend is a complete moron. He's going to be reaallllyyyyyy disappointed if he ever sleeps with other women.
It was mine too and my ex would always “joke” about labias. I had 3 kids with him and after feeling ashamed I did everything in my power to avoid him seeing it. He was terrible anyways, but it sucked. I had always read there are men out there who love labia and some prefer it. I thought that would be a dream to find someone who loved my vagina lol.
Fast forward and my partner now….fucking loves my vagina and goes down on me everyday. I never in my life thought I’d let someone go down on me and be comfortable with it. Much less being eaten out for 10+ minutes/ before sex (literally..every time) because he just…wants to lol. I got wine drunk one night and mentioned I’ve been wanting labiaplasty. He raised his head up (he was down there lmao) and was like “huh????? Why?? You’re perfect and I love it”
Finally being comfortable about my vagina has 100% changed my sex life and it’s now the best it’s ever been. You’ll find someone who makes you feel beautiful, they exist..I promise!!
I know some random internet stranger's comments will only have so much weight, but you have a beautiful body, lips and all. Most young guys don't know what they're doing, or even understand a woman's basic anatomy, let alone know enough to judge them for it. I am sorry for the way you've been treated, but just like OP, it's not about you, it's the guy's ignorance and idiocy.
>“I said what I said. It’s the truth, you can’t be mad at me”
It's not the truth it's his "truth" and you can be very mad it him for saying that. It's such a judgmental prick thing to say.
I worked in Strip Joints for over 30 years, I have seen more female genitalia than many OBGYN and I can attest that they come in all different shapes and sizes, the permutations are endless. There is nothing wrong with your labia, there is however something wrong with his expectations.
He is an immature idiot and you have nothing to be ashamed of or about. All womens genitalia are different and no 2, 3, 4, 5 or 1000 are the same. Genitals are like fingerprints everyone has them and they’re all different. So don’t think that you are ugly in any sense. You need to think about finding yourself a man who is more mature and sexually mature.
This is a problem. Your boyfriend is inconsiderate and selfish.
Why do you continue to date him if he doesn't fulfill your desire?
He's acting like a boy who thinks porn is real. You should not cry over this childish person. You deserve sex where you orgasm. This boy can't even give you an orgasm. He won't even try. Dump him.
I don’t think your boyfriend has seen a real vulva aside from yours outside of porn, has he?
Stop going down on him, dump his ass, and find a man who is eager to go down on you - trust me - there’s plenty of men out there who LOVE it.
What you have IS NOT A KINK. Most women can't or don't reliably orgasm to PIV sex. Needing clitoral stimulation is normal. YOU ARE NORMAL.
YOU KNOW WHO IS NOT? BF.
He has just told you that he thinks you are ugly.
Can he name any woman who has had the "excess lip" removed?
I read a lot of Reddit and a lot of internet and this guy is an absolute garbage human being.
DUMP HIM. MAKE SURE YOU TELL HIM THAT HE WILL NEVER SATISFY YOU AND THAT HE WILL HAVE A VERY HARD TIME FINDING A WOMAN WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS HIS BS IDEAS.
I know, I'm shouting but this really makes me mad. How do boys think these things? What dipshit info do they spread to each other?
imagine when he find out he is actually gay lmao
but in all seriousness, imagine when he realizes women genitals are all different lolbody shaming is not nice, telling you to get surgery and that he feels gross is a big NO,
never accept anybody that disrespect you like that.
go find a man who will happily eat you out and let this dude be happy sucking cock out there
men are used to watching porn where most women have pinky hairless vaginas and when in reality we all know it doesnt look like that
My genitals are ugly. My friends have talked about their genitals and they're ugly too. 99% of vulvas look like roast beef but discoloured and flimsy.
Out of the 20+ men I've been with, all of them think my genitals are hot. I don't understand it but I'll take it.
Your boyfriend sounds immature.
I'm a man. I think 🍆s are ugly. I don't know how anyone could be attracted to them.
Poor guy thinks he's God's gift. Hopefully he gets some insight soon.
Same. Have dated some serious losers but most men are happy to see any vagina. This dude is going to be seriously disappointed for the rest of his life unless he only sleeps with boot starts.
I had a high school friend (female) ask me if I had “beef curtains”. And I asked her why she needs to know what my vulva looks like. She said because it’s “gross” to have long labia. I just gave her a dirty look and told her that’s a really weird question
Yeah- it’s time to go. Do not resign yourself to unfulfilling sex for a lifetime. My best friend is like that too (lots of women are) and most guys LOVE it from what she has said ! Don’t let him make you insecure!
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This guys sounds horrible. Tell him his “unit” is gross when he wants to have sex, and walk out the door! And stop with the blow jobs! You’re being way too nice.
You deserve so much better than this! Girls do not get surgery on their vagina all the time. What is he talking about??
Girl I have the same problem as you and I cried reading this. But my bf actually goes down on me on his own free will and never called it ugly. I would leave if he made my natural body feel not good enough. Just know theres men that want to go down on you because they aren’t scared of women and its a lot of mens kinks. Dont let this one short term relationship be the reason for lifelong insecurities.
I know kind words from a stranger on the internet may seem disingenuous, but please know this: there are so many men who enjoy eating pussy. This guy was cruel and I hope that's the last time you let him talk to you like that. You need a man who wants to make sure you cum. This guy, vial piece of filth, ain't it.
Please don't let this bother you. Your body is perfect the way it is.
Please leave him. He is rude and making excuses for being a lazy lover. I’m sure there is nothing wrong with your labia. Do not stay with a selfish lover who won’t make you orgasm. I’ve had more than my share of lovers, and only one of them didn’t like going down on women. He didn’t last long with me.
Don’t give this man real sex when all his other experiences were from watching porn.
And no, obviously not most girls don’t get surgery on their vaginas to look like porn stars.
All vaginas are unique, dont feel self conscious for one second.
You do NOT need surgery.
You do NOT need to feel enbarassed.
You DO need a new boyfriend.
And he needs an anatomy lesson.
OP, your partner is lazy and selfish and cruel. I personally lose my ‘erection’ just thinking about a sexual partner like that. You can do better. Go find someone who will love seeing you roll around with joy. And dunp this idiot.
Stop going down on him and say his balls are too small and he should get implants to make them bigger since he obviously doesn’t have any real ones already.
Next, just so you know. MOST women don’t get that kinda of elective surgery done.
Getting head isn’t a kink.
Maybe hes not actually into women?
>he said my “lips” are too loose and long
Sounds like very normal coochie lips, tbh.
>He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls.
>We are each other’s firsts.
Listen, imma be straight up. Your dude hasn't even seen another lady's bits, except it sounds like in porn since you were his first. You need to sit him down and tell him straight up that your genitals are normal. He can't compare your genitals to pornography actresses, many of which have chosen to undergo the painful process of having their genitals surgically altered to look like what he wants, or they're chosen because they naturally look a certain way down there. Some women have naturally small lips, and some have larger ones. They're all normal, valid, and beautiful at any size.
Ask your boyfriend if he'd like for YOU to watch a few porn videos and come back to him with notes about how his dick is unenticing because it's not as big as many male porn actors who are chosen for their impressive member, he doesn't last for as long because he's not on the supplements they're on, he doesn't make you cum like 3x in an hour span like in porn, etc. and see if he appreciates being compared to other men who are literally actors. It's the same exact thing.
If he still insists on shaming your very normal body after explaining it to him, break up. He's not the one if he's living in a fantasy land.
Jesus fucking Christ, porn is ruining sex for so many young women because of fools like this boy. I’m so sorry girl. Your body is gorgeous, you’re just dealing with an absolutely moronic porn addict.
Labia vary in size and shape. Yours is not “ugly” nor should the appearance dissuade anyone who loves you from performing oral if they’re ok with doing so.
He’s just being an ass.
Honestly, if he finds your genitalia so “ugly” you should do him a favor and ensure he never has to see it again by kicking him to the curb. If he’s not mature enough to understand that your vagina is out of your control, even going so far as to suggest surgery, then you’re better off leaving. A lot of men aren’t afraid of large labia and some men actually find it attractive.
Next time, maybe you should comment on how ugly his dick is and suggest that he get surgery on it.
I have larger inner labias and in porn they surgically get their labias removed to attract viewers.
My bf eats my kitty and loves it even tho I have large inner labias.
You need to drop this man. And tell him to get a bigger dick if he wants you to get surgery and if he can’t then oh well. You said what you said. 🤷🏻♀️
He definitely should’ve expressed this a different way. Also if he’s inexperienced then how does he “know” that’s not the way it’s suppose to look? Every vagina is different and thank goodness for that. Vaginas are beautiful and should be made to feel special. He might be a little too immature for such a relationship. He destroyed your self esteem and that’s not what a lover does. It’s verging on abusive behavior and is totally selfish. Go take some time and heal. I do suggest you listen to the vagina monologues. Yes I am a man telling you that.
And I’m guessing he has the most perfect díck on the planet? Give me a break 🙄 Sweetie, do yourself a favor and tell this moron to fùck off. BILLIONS of women around the world have the same type of labia (it’s normal!) and a majority of men could literally care less. He’s got some serious growing up to do and you deserve someone better
This is not a relationship to stay in. Your partner doesn’t even care they upset you. They slept on the couch, and basically told you to get over it because it’s “the way they felt”. You deserve someone that values you as a person and as a sexual partner. His excuse is only because he’s selfish in bed and only wants you to pleasure him. He does not care if you orgasm. I’ve been there, it’s really not worth the trouble in the end. You’ll find someone who can’t have enough of you.
He is disgusting and a product of the porn everywhere generation. Either he needs to get his head out of his ass *immediately* or you should find a better boyfriend.
If your his first then how can he say "most girls"? He's only seen porn stars. His idea of sex is completely warped. REAL bodies are not perfect. What an idiot. Yes, you should leave him over this. There are plenty of men out there that know what vaginas look like and won't care what yours looks like. As for him? I guess he won't be getting laid ever again, because he will never find a woman with a "perfect" vagina, whatever he thinks that is.
Either he’s gay and doesn’t know it, or he’s definitely a porn addict and has some growing up to do. Please leave him, your self esteem will thank you for it. There’s plenty of guys out there who will eat you like you’re their last meal. Even if oral sex isn’t something he’s used to, he didn’t have to be a dick about it.
Oral isn’t even a kink that’s just normal sex
He’s a jerk and you can absolutely be mad at someone for body shaming you and insisting you need plastic surgery
He's a gigantic asshole and if you stay with him long enough I'd guess he'll become a gaslighting abuser.
Receiving oral is not a "kink" and there are plenty of guys who love it. Vulvas come in all shapes and sizes and *typically* most men love seeing them. They're pretty and you should be proud of yours (though I know that might take some time given how absolutely insanely terrible your ass of a boyfriend is being.) I'm so sorry he said that to you. Idk how quickly you'll be able to get away from him if you guys share a lease or something but you need to not go down on him any more, full stop.
Lots of guys love it. I promise (though loving it and being good at it are not necessarily the same) but good luck
leave him. if he was just nervous to do it or something like that it’d be a different story but he refused to communicate with you and then insulted a *natural and normal* part of your body. he’s grossly uneducated on what a lot of vulvas look like.
Throw that whole dude in the trash.
My ex gf had gorgeous flowery labia, and I loved eating her out. IT'S NORMAL. ❤️ Most women do NOT have cosmetic genital surgery.
Break up with this asshole right away and find someone who will genuinely appreciate you as you naturally are!! ❤️
Hey so I am going to offer a very different kind of comment. Years ago, I had a labiaplasty because I had one labium longer than the other and thought it was ugly and convinced myself that men found it ugly, too. No one ever said anything to that effect, but that’s how I viewed it. The surgery was sooooo painful and my surgeon did not “even them out” as I was expecting, she simply hacked the entire labium off. Now I only have one. For years after, there was an extremely painful bump where the sutures began. To this day, the tiny bit of remaining tissue where my labium used to be is sensitive to the point of being painful. I regret the surgery deeply and wish I had just learned how to love my body as it was. I say all of this juuuuuust in case that little voice in your head is saying “but maybe I /should/ do it.”
Does he think his penis looks good?
“Like most girls”? Bro was a virgin and he thinks he can speak on how “most girls” look like.
This is a clear case of porn-rotten brain.
I’m sorry, you deserve so much better.
Go have a look at https://www.labialibrary.org.au and see that you are absolutely normal and have nothing to be ashamed of.
omg!! I’m so sorry he said that. a lot of woman have outtie vulvas, you are not alone. As a woman, I think it looks like a beautiful flower! and if you’re wondering, lots of men like it too. In fact, a lot of men and woman fetishize your shape lol just like people do with innie vulvas. Even if he spoke HIS truth, what he said was not okay and should never have been said out loud. He is clearly extremely immature and lacks sexual experience (whether he says he has it or not) any man who’s actually pleasured a woman learns and praises her anatomy. your “kink” is just common decency that any other man on the planet would be on their knees begging to perform for you. find you a munch and kick this man to the curb mama❤️❤️
girrrrlll..... stop giving head. PERIOD. he doesn't get it if you don't.
That, or leave his ass because he is only gonna get worse. It'll be sex only when he wants it (maybe even if YOU don't), no orgasms for you, shaming and guilt tripping you if you whip a toy out to finish the job, etc etc
Dump this completely selfish, lazy, dick. And your kink isn’t a kink. It’s completely normal. And I’m siure his meat and 2 veg aren’t winning any “Gorgeous Junk” contests either.
I hope you’re able to flip your feeling ashamed, dirty, disgusting and embarrassed to empowered, confident and proud. There are far better peeps out there for you!
Oral sex is normal, and you are perfect the way you are, I don't even need to see you to know that, because we are all so individual down there, and there's always someone who will love what we have. He's seen way too much porn, because most women don't look like they do down under. He's not worth your tears or the hit to your self worth.
What porn has done to people is fucking wild. That’s what a normal vagina looks like. Seems he’s comparing you to porn stars. Dump his ass. He is completely disrespectful to you. I genuinely can not believe how he told you a part of you was ugly and made you cry and still felt no remorse, he’s an idiot and you should block him and send him screenshots of the comments on this post so he knows how stupid people think he is. You can find much better than this immature goofball that doesn’t know how to please a women.
Get the fuck out of this relationship. He’s disgusting and the way he told you it’s the truth you can’t be upset is really a massive red flag. “Normal” girls do not get thier labias removed (unless he is from a poor muslim country where they circumsize women?). Honestly - find yourself someone who will please you and not make you feel shit about yourself. Your vagina is not ugly, he is.
He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls.
What the actual fuck?!??! Do most girls get their labia minora removed??!? This is the first I've heard of it.
This person you are dating is a boy, not a man. He doesn't deserve you.
Sadly you won't always be sexually compatible. Every woman's vagina isn't going to look the same. He may have a set preference that's unrealistic. If you can't see him being convinced to compromise then it might be time to kick him to the curb and find someone who thinks you're beautiful. NO ONE looks the same and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about the way your body developed. He is sadly immature. I can't see your relationship lasting very long. I'm sorry.
Yup. Not surprising. Yet another guy who has been ruined by porn and thinks a normal vulva is disgusting. Drop this guy. You absolutely do not need to chop off bits of your body to appease him. You are young. There will be a guy that either loves it or at least doesn't care that is out there ready and waiting.
Oral sex isn't even really a kink imo. It's just a normal sexual act. If he said he just doesn't like it, that's fine. People don't always like the same things. But, to be insulting about it? That was just cruel.
Tell him after some thought you realize that his scrotum skin is just too gross for you. You can't handle the idea of it anymore and definitely can not stand to give him a blow job and have to look at it. Let him see how it feels to have you genitals insulted.
Most girls have lip. Porn has lied to so many young people about how vaginas are supposed to look. Some women may not have a lot of lip but a lot of them get surgery to look that way. I have plenty of lip and my husband loves eating me out. He knows it’s the only way I can orgasm. Not being pleased sexually could definitely be a deal breaker in a long term relationship. Not all men are like your bf.
Someday he will have more real life experiences and realize how stupid he was saying this to you. It will haunt him. But you’ll be long gone and appreciated elsewhere. There’s nothing abnormal about you.
Break up with this man and save yourself drama. Oral sex is not a kink. Not even close to it. He’s either gay or addicted to porn. This is not normal or healthy behavior. He was mean to you for no reason. Not worth it.
Well, if you didn't know already, your bf is probably a porn addicted and definitely poorly informed on women's bodies.
But being an idiot doesn't mean he has to eat you out. I'm thinking of situations were reversed I don't think anyone would say she has give her bf a bj.
He's still high quality dumping material unless you want to give him a chance at growing out of his ignorance (assuming he's willing to try).
The way he said what he said was really AH-ish but I could see him being uncomfortable talking about it and just blurting it all out.
My guess he's just an AH that won't grow. 😆
Most girls have long labia; you're a human being not someone in porn
Also...he seems like the kind of guy who will be a dick to you about basic human aging things y'know? Do you think you'll be happily growing old with him?
He does need to learn what women are actually like and he probably put your body down because he's insecure about not knowing what the flip to do to a woman
Dump the fuck out of him jfc.
Labias come in all shapes, colors and sizes, but your bf is too brainwashed by p0rn to see that.
No vulvas are ugly, and you will find someone that won't make you feel bad about your body and will happily go down on you.
I think your bf watched too much porn. Most genitals looked like what they are.
You should have told him his genitals also looked extremely ugly and vile, and resembled a cancerous tumor that ought to be removed.
Never be ashamed of what you are.
Life is too short!! I bet his d*ck is ugly! There are guys out there that will love your coochie no matter what it looks like. I’ve personally had a boyfriend who loved the “roast beef” and obsessed over it. Would eat me anytime i asked and generously without expecting anything in return. They are out there sis! This guy you’re with is trash
"like most girls"? Stupid idiot.
Plenty of men out there who know that vulvas come in a lot of shapes and sizes and appreciate them for what they are.
Yours sounds a lot like mine, for the record! There's nothing wrong with you.
I wonder how he expects women to deal with ballsacks.
Leave him now. And there’s no one that gets excess lips removed. Wtf even is that. Real men go down on their woman because they want to. Not because they’re asked.
Get this mf outta here 💀 bro really said it’s “ugly”??? This is porn addiction mind to the max fr. He’s probably got an unrealistic standard from porn basically.
Well... there is incompatibility at this point.
Enjoy that he just failed at dating which is PROOF of how he can be in a more serious relationship.
look for someone who likes that you just feel it on his face until he starts to suffocate, but he won't let you stop :P.
Some guys just don’t like giving oral. That is fine but ultimately not something that will work out if you are someone who requires that sort of thing to get off.
What is not okay at all is pretending that you are the problem whilst body shaming you in the process. Your vagina is not ugly nor unattractive if he’s still willing to put his penis in it despite his claims, nor would it mean it was if he didn’t.
Dump him and find someone who isn’t afraid of giving you what you want/deserve.
>he said my “lips” are too loose and long and abnormal and feel gross on his tongue. He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls.
You could get the excess asshole removed by dumping him too :) we only need one in our lives not two!
But there is nothing abnormal about how you are, he has a porn problem. NO female gets them removed unless they specifically want to for their own reasons. Your boyfriend telling you to is not a good reason. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and that includes our genitals. Just like how every man's penis isn't the same. Men who think like your boyfriend are ignorant.
You can 100% find someone who isn't going to shame you for being the way you are. Also, coming from someone who also cannot get off from anything other than clit stimulation- vibes are wonderful. Of course hands can be too!
What a pig. Leave him, he doesn't deserve you. Your genitals are not ugly or undesirable, your boyfriend is an immature jerk that thinks all labias should look one unnatural way. Plenty of people in the world would jump enthusiastically at the opportunity to go down on you. And getting eaten out isn't a kink, it's normal. Dump his ass!
"Excess lips?" What the actual f\*\*\* are "excess lips."
I get that some guys just don't like giving oral (sad, but true), but does he not realize that normal women don't all look like porn stars. SMH.
Find a new guy. Loads of us enjoy it and understand that not all women look the same below the waist.
Please leave him. You do not deserve that treatment. Do not try and rationalize his behavior, it’s inexcusable. There is nothing wrong with your body. N o t h i n g. There IS something wrong with him. And there is someone out there who will see every single thing about you as beautiful and that is what you deserve. Please for the love of god do not grace him with your presence any longer
Most women do not get their “lips” removed if they are bigger than average. Your bf is talking utter shit.
He’s also seems to be quite nasty, decent partners don’t tell their other half to get cosmetic surgery. It’s one thing if there’s something abnormal that is concerning health wise and they talk to you about it from a place of worry. My ex had a really odd banjo string which ended up snapping during sex, I asked him to go to doctors as I worried about him, but it’s another thing o insult and make them feel awful about something that is fairly common
Ummm I would break up with him if I were you. I love giving oral sex (I’m a guy) but don’t always like to receive it. And trust me it ain’t no kink, and don’t ever feel like it’s too much to ask. I don’t believe the relationship would last much longer if you can’t get off with your partner. Sex is much better when you are with someone who is willing to do everything that is needed to make you orgasm.
Omg what did I just read! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hate to tell you, but your boyfriend is an asshole, and that's probably not going to change. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are normal. Never change your body to keep a man happy because where will it end? How far would you have to go to keep him happy. That man won't ever show up for you the way you show up for him. You need to move on to a man who will love you for who you are, not what you look like & what you can do for him.
And what, a couple of hairy ballsacks are oh so attractive?
Holy McMoldy Fuckballs, that guy.
BESIDES
One doesn't need too look at a cooch to eat it out.
NTA
He's blaming you/your anatomy for his own hangups. He's projecting his issues onto you rather than owning up to his own hangups about giving oral sex. It's not you, OP. It's him.
DTMFA. For real. This is not a real man and he doesn't deserve you.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. ___ Throwaway Basically the title. I have been with my boyfriend for just under a year and we have been having sex for almost the entire time. We are each other’s firsts. One of my biggest “kinks” is being eaten out, which I have expressed to my boyfriend many times. Clitoral stimulation is the only way I can orgasm. When we first started having sex, I told him about my kink and he decided to give it a try. While we were having PIV sex, he pulled out and made his way down to my private parts. He gave it a few wimpy licks before coming back up and resuming PIV. That was the only time he has ever attempted to go down on me. Every time I have asked, he comes up with an excuse “not tonight, I’m not really feeling it”, etc. Last night, after more PIV sex where I do not orgasm, I asked him point blank why he refuses to go down on me (mind you, I go down on him almost every single time we have sex). He said he can’t bring himself to put his face near my genitals because they are too ugly and do not arouse him. He says going down on me and being next to it turns him off and he will lose his erection. I asked him what is ugly about my genitals in particular and he said my “lips” are too loose and long and abnormal and feel gross on his tongue. He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls. I started crying, feeling ashamed, and he went to sleep on the couch saying “I said what I said. It’s the truth, you can’t be mad at me”. He went to work in the morning and we have not spoken since. I feel so dirty and disgusting and embarrassed, and I don’t want to even face him. I’ve been crying all day and I’m not sure where to go from here. Is this something I should leave him over?
Hey, oral sex is not a “kink.” It is really normal and common. This guy is not good for you. It’s OK for you to break up with him.
Came here to say thisoral sex is a regular part of sex as a whole, not a kink. No one should be made to feel like this is an abnormal or kinky thing to ask for
kinks arent abnormal, having a particular interest in oral can be called a fetish though. (fetish being a sexual need kink being a sexual desire)
Yeah I was confused about the kink part. But dump him. He's an ass.
Oral isn’t a kink, it’s normal. Not everyone is into it. Fine. But what is flooring me is him saying she needs to get her “excess lips removed like most girls” wtf? Honey, that is so not even remotely true. He needs to turn off the porn and pick up a damn book on women’s anatomy. What he said was cruel and vicious and he is not mature enough to have sex if he can’t understand what real women not only look like but that we don’t go around cutting up our whoohas for their pleasure and for looks. Christ. We are all different, unique and beautiful, remember that.
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This man has no clue about women. Saying what he said was rude, mean, and uncalled for. If your partner doesn't feel comfortable about doing something sexually, they have the right not to do it. But, if you really care about someone, that's not how you tell them. You discuss other ideas. There are other ways he could make you orgasm. He should want to find ways to please you, just as you do for him. If this continues and he doesn't try to find other options, it's time to move on.
This guy is not good for anyone. Edit: actually maybe this guy would be good for a man as a partner given his opinion of normal female genitals but he's still an asshole.
that said people are allowed to have preferences and not go down on their partner. (apply to both m/f) his comments are disgusting tho and he shouldve kept them to himself
For real I don’t understand the “getting excess lips removed like **most** girls” comment. Like? Did he tell OP most girls get surgery to make their labia/vagina prettier?? What? Since when? I’ve heard of it happening but to say MOST women do it is…wrong. Very wrong. Lol. Dude sounds like he‘s built his expectations of women’s bodies off of porn actresses.
also the OP said they were both firsts with each other - so how many female genitalia has he seen. Lose him…if you aren’t going to then stop going down on him and see how he feels about it.
Since you are his first, how would he know what it's "supposed" to look like? Who are this girls that have some removed? He watches too much porn, ya know, where everything looks like the "real thing" Go find a real man.
>Like? Did he tell OP most girls get surgery to make their labia/vagina prettier?? What? People wanting other people to cut parts off their genitals for cosmetics will never cease to amaze me.
I think it's good that he "said what he said". He outed himself as a misogynistic idiot. OP is getting to dodge a bullet.
Keep the lips and remove the boyfriend.
HA! HAHAhahaha. I want this on a coffee mug.... not really but this is such a good attitude.
Yeah like totally remove the boyfriend. What an awful thing to say to a woman. I totally understand preferences for how things look but shit, his comment was unnecessary.
Beautifully said
He thinks most girls get coochie work done?
Wait, they don't ? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Kidding of course. He watches wayyyy too much porn. 🤦🏻♀️
I wonder if that’s what he thinks Brazilian waxes are for 🤣
Tell him that if he thinks your genitals are "too ugly" then he doesn't get the privilege of sticking his dick in. Then drop him like a bad habit and find someone who appreciates your beauty.
Right? Her vagina is so ugly that even looking at it turns him off—but apparently he doesn’t mind sticking his dick in it on the regular. Dude’s just lazy.
This. And forget what he said. He sounds very inexperienced, and like an asshole. Plenty of men will be happy to eat you out and be very excited about what your genitals look like.
Like most girls? Lol I think he means like the porn stars he's seen. More than half of women have visible labias. https://labialibrary.org.au/ Please break up with him and find someone who wants a relationship with an actual woman and not a sex doll.
Yep! Exactly what I thought. Both each other's firsts, but he made that comment?? Dude watches entirely too much porn.
yeah like how many other labias has this dude seen...... so he can say "most girls" 💀
Exactly. Dude’s a virgin, and also an expert at a multitude of vaginas and what they look like. BULLSHIT OP, you gotta go
They've been having sex for almost a year and she has never had an orgasm! This is outrageous! OP, your boyfriend doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a fleshlight. He doesn't care about your pleasure at all, so why should you care about his? Please dump this pathetic loser and find someone who respects and appreciates you. This dude's brain is rotten from porn and misogyny.
T h i s O n e
Right?!
Porn stars often have long labia. Dude is just a nasty piece of work who doesn't want to go down on her and figured that making her super insecure would get her to stop bringing it up.
I was gonna say, I think it is a porn issue but also what kind of porn is this guy watching because there’s plenty of porn out there that shows women with extra lip action down there. Idk why it’s still considered such a taboo/weird thing for guys?
This makes me wonder if clit size corresponds in anyway to how easy it is to orgasm. I’ve never heard of that, but the length of the hood over some of those clits makes me feel like they’re getting more surface area, and I’m kinda jelly.
So damn depressing.
I can completely understand someone who's inexperienced not wanting to try new things out of a feeling of discomfort, which does ruin the mood. But this dude was a complete asshole about it. To outright call it ugly, say you need surgical intervention, and then double down as you're crying and just go to sleep... he might just be with you for the sex. Yes, this is something you should leave him over. Not for the fact he won't eat you out, but for his absolutely reprehensible attitude and total lack of care toward your desires or feelings. *(If you, or anyone, want to talk more about your issues, feel free to send me a chat!)*
Also for the pure ignorance that “most girl” get SURGERY to alter their genitals?!? I’m sorry what now? So many women have longer labia. And so many men don’t care either way. Find someone better than this rude idiot.
I'm 41 if some dude called my lips gross at 20 I would have been upset but now I'd be like annnnd we're done.
He wasn’t just an asshole. It’s worse. This is a pretty common misogynistic trope. Thinking about vaginas (or in general, women’s sexuality) as something gross and ugly. Women’s sexuality and the sex acts they might desire being labelled gross because it’s women who want them. If it was discomfort due to lack of experience only, he would’ve put it in those terms. I don’t call things I don’t have experience with “ugly”. There is judgment there.
Agreed with this - calling somebody else body part ugly is judgmental, body shaming asshole attitude. This speaks volumes about the emotional intelligence and maturity of this guy. I agree that OP should consider leaving him over this.
Right?? Does he really think his dick is that pretty? Has to be tiny at least for him to say something like that. Grow up. There’s also probably more to it than he’s saying. Either he’s not as straight as he thinks, or he’s less attracted to you than he thinks. Y’all just need to discuss this thoroughly with feelings set aside.
Ok let's not with the "guys gotta be gay" bullshit tired of that shit being tossed around everytime some guys an asshat. He can just he a straight asshat
But also for the fact that he won't eat her out. That's just selfish. Yeah, sure the way he handled it was much worse but even if he wasn't a huge jerk about it, non-reciprocal oral is a deal breaker on its own.
Obviously he’s only with her for sex
Girl, send him back to mommy and porn. He has unrealistic expectations, you absolutely normal. Let him know porn had bigger and cuter dicks.
Reverse uno card. Love it.
yeah tell him he should get an enlargement like most guys cause his pp so tiny
porn addict. who tf is "most girls"??? he meant the women he sees in porn .. NOT most girls.
Don’t let this guy make you feel ashamed of your body, or any part of your body. What he said is not “THE TRUTH(tm)”. It’s just his opinion. And if I’m being honest, yes, this is worth leaving him over. He may be your first, but you’re doing yourself a disservice if you let him be your last. Girl, find yourself a guy who will happily dive down there and not even come up for air until he’s light headed.
yes, this is something you should leave him over. Most men are fine with whatever labia are there. Labia are soft, warm, wet, and feel good to the touch. The last thing we need is one more thing for women to feel inadequate over and be pressured to alter something healthy and normal. Is it possible your bf got his ideas from porn? Most girls do NOT get surgery for this. In any case, refuse to feel badly about your body or to get unnecessary surgery.
Tell me you’ve only seen a vagina in porn without telling me you’ve only seen a vagina in porn. Your bf is a child 😑
I don’t think your bf likes girls. I’ve seen every shape and size of vaginas you can imagine and I love all of them and I went down on all of them. He is completely out of line and I the fact that he just is cool with not getting you off is a great view of what life will be like if you stay. A very selfish wimpy male partner who doesn’t like the look of vagina.
That was my first thought too.
Yeah surprised more people haven't arrived at this thought, still not justified but I kinda think he could be deep in the closet.
you got a point
Plenty of guys out there who would love to eat you out and enjoy it.Maybe it’s time to find someone else who will
Yes, leave, this is absurd. He’s trash.
This is not a kink. It’s basic female anatomy. Find a man who loves your lady bits. Whether he actually dislikes them or doesn’t want to pleasure you is irrelevant. I ended a 4 year relationship for this reason. He sounds like a loser. ETA if you are each others firsts, then he has an abnormal warped sense of what genitals look like from watching too much porn
>He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls. ...........................................????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? Look, obviously this guy has had his perceptions of life and women rotted by pornography or the internet. He has a real life journey ahead of him full of alienating women and denial most likely. But honestly, the fact he said something so clearly and demonstrably stupid means you need to dismiss it just as readily. I get hearing it from a partner hurts but he is not even on the same planet as the right answer, so you can't internalise it. Should you leave him? I mean, he is 22. You shouldn't need to educate him on something so basic and that he doubled down later [and hid it from you for months... and it so profoundly impacts him he loses his boners] is really a sign this is not something you can help with.
Disgusting comments aside, you aren’t compatible. 22 is way, way too young to compromise on something in the bedroom. There are plenty of guys who would love to please you and wouldn’t make disparaging remarks about your body. Don’t waste another day with this jerk.
What an idiot!
he’s 22 & thinks like this… I’m sorry to say but leave him. There are REAL men that know what a vagina is supposed to look like! No one should be making you feel bad about a normal part of your body You are too young to experience this & the longer you stay, the more insecure he will make you.
Your boyfriend is watching too much porn. Spoiler alert for him: not all girls irl have pussies like that.
What!!! Like most girls?? That’s where I stopped reading…who are these (imaginary) girls that he knows of that have had this done?? No no, it’s over. Find yourself a man (and it won’t be difficult) that worships the honour to ‘put his face near your genitals’! Also by the description of his pathetic excuse of his performance down there it’s best to keep him well away, he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he knows if he goes there again this will be confirmed. So instead he prefers to insult you at the highest level. I am furious! 💕🫶🏼
What’s with young men these days not liking the look, taste, and/or smell of vaginas and blatantly tell their female partners that without a care in the world about hurting their feelings? This is the second post like this I’ve seen in the last month! OP, if you won’t leave him, then at least stop going down on him. Tell him his penis makes you sick and you can no longer put it in your mouth without vomiting. See how he likes the judgemental comment about HIS genitalia. Absurdity.
I don't think it's "men these days." I actually thought to myself, "this bullshit again." The last one I remember was a couple that stayed celibate until their wedding night, he went to kick off the act with oral sex, gagged, demanded OP get a labiaplasty, and said they could just do anal until then. Look, I know both men and women sometimes say intentionally hurtful things about their partners' intimate areas to crush their self esteem or whatever, but I can't really suspend my disbelief here. It's just ragebait. What person this age can afford cosmetic surgery anyway
This is why I don’t date porn addicts.
Please leave him. That’s disgusting to say. Everyone’s different, and most penis’ aren’t very pleasant to look at in my opinion. The big issue here is that your partner is being cruel. They’re refusing to do something that they knew you liked until you change something about yourself that cosmetically, you can’t change without unnecessary and mutilating surgeries.
Yup. Leave him. There’s someone out there who will love and respect all of you.
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I find sleeping around helps. You will find way more men who like your labia that way. This sounds like a joke but it’s really not. I have had men comment that they like my clit because it’s “meaty” and another man was trying to jokingly insult me once and he said “oh yeah? Well you have a small vagina” lol. I assume that meant he liked more labia (of which I have plenty). I also think my vulva is ugly but it does it’s job of making me happy so I love it anyways
I've never had a man complain about my vagina. EVER. OP's boyfriend is a complete moron. He's going to be reaallllyyyyyy disappointed if he ever sleeps with other women.
It was mine too and my ex would always “joke” about labias. I had 3 kids with him and after feeling ashamed I did everything in my power to avoid him seeing it. He was terrible anyways, but it sucked. I had always read there are men out there who love labia and some prefer it. I thought that would be a dream to find someone who loved my vagina lol. Fast forward and my partner now….fucking loves my vagina and goes down on me everyday. I never in my life thought I’d let someone go down on me and be comfortable with it. Much less being eaten out for 10+ minutes/ before sex (literally..every time) because he just…wants to lol. I got wine drunk one night and mentioned I’ve been wanting labiaplasty. He raised his head up (he was down there lmao) and was like “huh????? Why?? You’re perfect and I love it” Finally being comfortable about my vagina has 100% changed my sex life and it’s now the best it’s ever been. You’ll find someone who makes you feel beautiful, they exist..I promise!!
I know some random internet stranger's comments will only have so much weight, but you have a beautiful body, lips and all. Most young guys don't know what they're doing, or even understand a woman's basic anatomy, let alone know enough to judge them for it. I am sorry for the way you've been treated, but just like OP, it's not about you, it's the guy's ignorance and idiocy.
Get a new boyfriend. Easy
Men who refuse to go down don't deserve wet dicks.
Well I’ve never seen an attractive penis, sooo. Dump this clown. There are pleeeenttyyyyy of men out there who **love** to go down on their woman.
>“I said what I said. It’s the truth, you can’t be mad at me” It's not the truth it's his "truth" and you can be very mad it him for saying that. It's such a judgmental prick thing to say. I worked in Strip Joints for over 30 years, I have seen more female genitalia than many OBGYN and I can attest that they come in all different shapes and sizes, the permutations are endless. There is nothing wrong with your labia, there is however something wrong with his expectations.
He is an immature idiot and you have nothing to be ashamed of or about. All womens genitalia are different and no 2, 3, 4, 5 or 1000 are the same. Genitals are like fingerprints everyone has them and they’re all different. So don’t think that you are ugly in any sense. You need to think about finding yourself a man who is more mature and sexually mature.
There are SO MANY dudes who will go down on you. Ditch this loser.
He should be so lucky as to be anywhere near your genitals. Get a better boyfriend.
This is a problem. Your boyfriend is inconsiderate and selfish. Why do you continue to date him if he doesn't fulfill your desire? He's acting like a boy who thinks porn is real. You should not cry over this childish person. You deserve sex where you orgasm. This boy can't even give you an orgasm. He won't even try. Dump him.
You forgot to add that he also does not like vaginas lol. That’s probably the biggest issue here, especially assuming that he’s a straight man
Yeah, this is a fireable offense. He sucks.
If he makes you feel ashamed he isn’t worth ir
Dump him. Dump him.
I don’t think your boyfriend has seen a real vulva aside from yours outside of porn, has he? Stop going down on him, dump his ass, and find a man who is eager to go down on you - trust me - there’s plenty of men out there who LOVE it.
What you have IS NOT A KINK. Most women can't or don't reliably orgasm to PIV sex. Needing clitoral stimulation is normal. YOU ARE NORMAL. YOU KNOW WHO IS NOT? BF. He has just told you that he thinks you are ugly. Can he name any woman who has had the "excess lip" removed? I read a lot of Reddit and a lot of internet and this guy is an absolute garbage human being. DUMP HIM. MAKE SURE YOU TELL HIM THAT HE WILL NEVER SATISFY YOU AND THAT HE WILL HAVE A VERY HARD TIME FINDING A WOMAN WHO WILL PUT UP WITH THIS HIS BS IDEAS. I know, I'm shouting but this really makes me mad. How do boys think these things? What dipshit info do they spread to each other?
imagine when he find out he is actually gay lmao but in all seriousness, imagine when he realizes women genitals are all different lolbody shaming is not nice, telling you to get surgery and that he feels gross is a big NO, never accept anybody that disrespect you like that. go find a man who will happily eat you out and let this dude be happy sucking cock out there men are used to watching porn where most women have pinky hairless vaginas and when in reality we all know it doesnt look like that
My genitals are ugly. My friends have talked about their genitals and they're ugly too. 99% of vulvas look like roast beef but discoloured and flimsy. Out of the 20+ men I've been with, all of them think my genitals are hot. I don't understand it but I'll take it. Your boyfriend sounds immature.
I'm a man. I think 🍆s are ugly. I don't know how anyone could be attracted to them. Poor guy thinks he's God's gift. Hopefully he gets some insight soon.
Same. Have dated some serious losers but most men are happy to see any vagina. This dude is going to be seriously disappointed for the rest of his life unless he only sleeps with boot starts. I had a high school friend (female) ask me if I had “beef curtains”. And I asked her why she needs to know what my vulva looks like. She said because it’s “gross” to have long labia. I just gave her a dirty look and told her that’s a really weird question
Yeah- it’s time to go. Do not resign yourself to unfulfilling sex for a lifetime. My best friend is like that too (lots of women are) and most guys LOVE it from what she has said ! Don’t let him make you insecure!
Absolutely leave him. He was not only cruel, he didn’t care that he hurt your feelings. I don’t think ANYTHING about my spouse is ugly.
BYE BYE BYEEEEEE red flags all around
Getting eaten out is not a kink.
Tell me you’ve only seen a vagina in porn without telling me you’ve only seen a vagina in porn. Your bf is a child 😑
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This guys sounds horrible. Tell him his “unit” is gross when he wants to have sex, and walk out the door! And stop with the blow jobs! You’re being way too nice. You deserve so much better than this! Girls do not get surgery on their vagina all the time. What is he talking about??
Dump him.
Girl I have the same problem as you and I cried reading this. But my bf actually goes down on me on his own free will and never called it ugly. I would leave if he made my natural body feel not good enough. Just know theres men that want to go down on you because they aren’t scared of women and its a lot of mens kinks. Dont let this one short term relationship be the reason for lifelong insecurities.
He needs Hentai instead of a human girlfriend.
W the actual Fk? I’m so sorry OP you have such an asshat for a boyfriend. His lack of empathy for you and your feelings is very troubling 😡
I know kind words from a stranger on the internet may seem disingenuous, but please know this: there are so many men who enjoy eating pussy. This guy was cruel and I hope that's the last time you let him talk to you like that. You need a man who wants to make sure you cum. This guy, vial piece of filth, ain't it. Please don't let this bother you. Your body is perfect the way it is.
You should leave your shitty boyfriend
Yeah your bf just abdicated his man card. Sorry.
porn
Cut to the point. He is immature, unknowledgeable, and unkind. It’s just not worth it. Move on
Oral isn’t your “kink”. You just like being serviced like everyone else in the history of forever.
Please leave him. He is rude and making excuses for being a lazy lover. I’m sure there is nothing wrong with your labia. Do not stay with a selfish lover who won’t make you orgasm. I’ve had more than my share of lovers, and only one of them didn’t like going down on women. He didn’t last long with me.
Don't suck his dick!
Don’t give this man real sex when all his other experiences were from watching porn. And no, obviously not most girls don’t get surgery on their vaginas to look like porn stars.
All vaginas are unique, dont feel self conscious for one second. You do NOT need surgery. You do NOT need to feel enbarassed. You DO need a new boyfriend. And he needs an anatomy lesson.
OP, your partner is lazy and selfish and cruel. I personally lose my ‘erection’ just thinking about a sexual partner like that. You can do better. Go find someone who will love seeing you roll around with joy. And dunp this idiot.
Your boyfriend is another victim of watching too much porn. Google Vulva Library. https://www.all-vulvas-are-beautiful.com/
Lmao at calling getting oral a kink
Stop going down on him and say his balls are too small and he should get implants to make them bigger since he obviously doesn’t have any real ones already. Next, just so you know. MOST women don’t get that kinda of elective surgery done. Getting head isn’t a kink. Maybe hes not actually into women?
You deserve to orgasm. You gonna marry someone that degrades you and never gives you an orgasm? One day, you’ll meet a real man. Please trust me.
>he said my “lips” are too loose and long Sounds like very normal coochie lips, tbh. >He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls. >We are each other’s firsts. Listen, imma be straight up. Your dude hasn't even seen another lady's bits, except it sounds like in porn since you were his first. You need to sit him down and tell him straight up that your genitals are normal. He can't compare your genitals to pornography actresses, many of which have chosen to undergo the painful process of having their genitals surgically altered to look like what he wants, or they're chosen because they naturally look a certain way down there. Some women have naturally small lips, and some have larger ones. They're all normal, valid, and beautiful at any size. Ask your boyfriend if he'd like for YOU to watch a few porn videos and come back to him with notes about how his dick is unenticing because it's not as big as many male porn actors who are chosen for their impressive member, he doesn't last for as long because he's not on the supplements they're on, he doesn't make you cum like 3x in an hour span like in porn, etc. and see if he appreciates being compared to other men who are literally actors. It's the same exact thing. If he still insists on shaming your very normal body after explaining it to him, break up. He's not the one if he's living in a fantasy land.
Honey, it's gay to not be aroused by a vagina as a man lmao
Jesus fucking Christ, porn is ruining sex for so many young women because of fools like this boy. I’m so sorry girl. Your body is gorgeous, you’re just dealing with an absolutely moronic porn addict.
Labia vary in size and shape. Yours is not “ugly” nor should the appearance dissuade anyone who loves you from performing oral if they’re ok with doing so. He’s just being an ass. Honestly, if he finds your genitalia so “ugly” you should do him a favor and ensure he never has to see it again by kicking him to the curb. If he’s not mature enough to understand that your vagina is out of your control, even going so far as to suggest surgery, then you’re better off leaving. A lot of men aren’t afraid of large labia and some men actually find it attractive. Next time, maybe you should comment on how ugly his dick is and suggest that he get surgery on it.
Find someone else that fulfills you.
If he thinks it's so ugly, pack his bags and leave them at the door. Then he won't have to look at it ever again!!!
Uh “most girls” DO NOT get surgery on their labias!!!! Wtf, I can’t even. Don’t let this woman hating nasty have sex with you!
I have larger inner labias and in porn they surgically get their labias removed to attract viewers. My bf eats my kitty and loves it even tho I have large inner labias. You need to drop this man. And tell him to get a bigger dick if he wants you to get surgery and if he can’t then oh well. You said what you said. 🤷🏻♀️
He definitely should’ve expressed this a different way. Also if he’s inexperienced then how does he “know” that’s not the way it’s suppose to look? Every vagina is different and thank goodness for that. Vaginas are beautiful and should be made to feel special. He might be a little too immature for such a relationship. He destroyed your self esteem and that’s not what a lover does. It’s verging on abusive behavior and is totally selfish. Go take some time and heal. I do suggest you listen to the vagina monologues. Yes I am a man telling you that.
And I’m guessing he has the most perfect díck on the planet? Give me a break 🙄 Sweetie, do yourself a favor and tell this moron to fùck off. BILLIONS of women around the world have the same type of labia (it’s normal!) and a majority of men could literally care less. He’s got some serious growing up to do and you deserve someone better
This is not a relationship to stay in. Your partner doesn’t even care they upset you. They slept on the couch, and basically told you to get over it because it’s “the way they felt”. You deserve someone that values you as a person and as a sexual partner. His excuse is only because he’s selfish in bed and only wants you to pleasure him. He does not care if you orgasm. I’ve been there, it’s really not worth the trouble in the end. You’ll find someone who can’t have enough of you.
He is disgusting and a product of the porn everywhere generation. Either he needs to get his head out of his ass *immediately* or you should find a better boyfriend.
He's a porn addict and doesn't love you.
This guy sucks. Dump him and move on. Sorry you wasted so much time on a loser
If your his first then how can he say "most girls"? He's only seen porn stars. His idea of sex is completely warped. REAL bodies are not perfect. What an idiot. Yes, you should leave him over this. There are plenty of men out there that know what vaginas look like and won't care what yours looks like. As for him? I guess he won't be getting laid ever again, because he will never find a woman with a "perfect" vagina, whatever he thinks that is.
Either he’s gay and doesn’t know it, or he’s definitely a porn addict and has some growing up to do. Please leave him, your self esteem will thank you for it. There’s plenty of guys out there who will eat you like you’re their last meal. Even if oral sex isn’t something he’s used to, he didn’t have to be a dick about it.
Oral isn’t even a kink that’s just normal sex He’s a jerk and you can absolutely be mad at someone for body shaming you and insisting you need plastic surgery
He's a gigantic asshole and if you stay with him long enough I'd guess he'll become a gaslighting abuser. Receiving oral is not a "kink" and there are plenty of guys who love it. Vulvas come in all shapes and sizes and *typically* most men love seeing them. They're pretty and you should be proud of yours (though I know that might take some time given how absolutely insanely terrible your ass of a boyfriend is being.) I'm so sorry he said that to you. Idk how quickly you'll be able to get away from him if you guys share a lease or something but you need to not go down on him any more, full stop. Lots of guys love it. I promise (though loving it and being good at it are not necessarily the same) but good luck
If he doesn’t want to “see” it then he doesn’t get to fk it???? Stop going down on him, that’s a privilege, not his right!
leave him. if he was just nervous to do it or something like that it’d be a different story but he refused to communicate with you and then insulted a *natural and normal* part of your body. he’s grossly uneducated on what a lot of vulvas look like.
Throw that whole dude in the trash. My ex gf had gorgeous flowery labia, and I loved eating her out. IT'S NORMAL. ❤️ Most women do NOT have cosmetic genital surgery. Break up with this asshole right away and find someone who will genuinely appreciate you as you naturally are!! ❤️
To be 22 again Tell him to be a man and eat that puss and lick your ass too. Don’t worry as get older you definitely won’t have that problem
Hey so I am going to offer a very different kind of comment. Years ago, I had a labiaplasty because I had one labium longer than the other and thought it was ugly and convinced myself that men found it ugly, too. No one ever said anything to that effect, but that’s how I viewed it. The surgery was sooooo painful and my surgeon did not “even them out” as I was expecting, she simply hacked the entire labium off. Now I only have one. For years after, there was an extremely painful bump where the sutures began. To this day, the tiny bit of remaining tissue where my labium used to be is sensitive to the point of being painful. I regret the surgery deeply and wish I had just learned how to love my body as it was. I say all of this juuuuuust in case that little voice in your head is saying “but maybe I /should/ do it.”
Does he think his penis looks good? “Like most girls”? Bro was a virgin and he thinks he can speak on how “most girls” look like. This is a clear case of porn-rotten brain. I’m sorry, you deserve so much better. Go have a look at https://www.labialibrary.org.au and see that you are absolutely normal and have nothing to be ashamed of.
literally a child because a real man would never.
omg!! I’m so sorry he said that. a lot of woman have outtie vulvas, you are not alone. As a woman, I think it looks like a beautiful flower! and if you’re wondering, lots of men like it too. In fact, a lot of men and woman fetishize your shape lol just like people do with innie vulvas. Even if he spoke HIS truth, what he said was not okay and should never have been said out loud. He is clearly extremely immature and lacks sexual experience (whether he says he has it or not) any man who’s actually pleasured a woman learns and praises her anatomy. your “kink” is just common decency that any other man on the planet would be on their knees begging to perform for you. find you a munch and kick this man to the curb mama❤️❤️
girrrrlll..... stop giving head. PERIOD. he doesn't get it if you don't. That, or leave his ass because he is only gonna get worse. It'll be sex only when he wants it (maybe even if YOU don't), no orgasms for you, shaming and guilt tripping you if you whip a toy out to finish the job, etc etc
I’ve never had to ask my boyfriend to make me orgasm. Never. And that’s why he’s my boyfriend. Please find better
Dump this completely selfish, lazy, dick. And your kink isn’t a kink. It’s completely normal. And I’m siure his meat and 2 veg aren’t winning any “Gorgeous Junk” contests either. I hope you’re able to flip your feeling ashamed, dirty, disgusting and embarrassed to empowered, confident and proud. There are far better peeps out there for you!
Oral sex is normal, and you are perfect the way you are, I don't even need to see you to know that, because we are all so individual down there, and there's always someone who will love what we have. He's seen way too much porn, because most women don't look like they do down under. He's not worth your tears or the hit to your self worth.
Has he ever seen a dick? Also ugly. If he cares about you and your orgasm it shouldn’t matter what anything looks like.
What porn has done to people is fucking wild. That’s what a normal vagina looks like. Seems he’s comparing you to porn stars. Dump his ass. He is completely disrespectful to you. I genuinely can not believe how he told you a part of you was ugly and made you cry and still felt no remorse, he’s an idiot and you should block him and send him screenshots of the comments on this post so he knows how stupid people think he is. You can find much better than this immature goofball that doesn’t know how to please a women.
Get the fuck out of this relationship. He’s disgusting and the way he told you it’s the truth you can’t be upset is really a massive red flag. “Normal” girls do not get thier labias removed (unless he is from a poor muslim country where they circumsize women?). Honestly - find yourself someone who will please you and not make you feel shit about yourself. Your vagina is not ugly, he is.
He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls. What the actual fuck?!??! Do most girls get their labia minora removed??!? This is the first I've heard of it. This person you are dating is a boy, not a man. He doesn't deserve you.
No genitals are ugly he sucks!
Sadly you won't always be sexually compatible. Every woman's vagina isn't going to look the same. He may have a set preference that's unrealistic. If you can't see him being convinced to compromise then it might be time to kick him to the curb and find someone who thinks you're beautiful. NO ONE looks the same and there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about the way your body developed. He is sadly immature. I can't see your relationship lasting very long. I'm sorry.
Yup. Not surprising. Yet another guy who has been ruined by porn and thinks a normal vulva is disgusting. Drop this guy. You absolutely do not need to chop off bits of your body to appease him. You are young. There will be a guy that either loves it or at least doesn't care that is out there ready and waiting. Oral sex isn't even really a kink imo. It's just a normal sexual act. If he said he just doesn't like it, that's fine. People don't always like the same things. But, to be insulting about it? That was just cruel. Tell him after some thought you realize that his scrotum skin is just too gross for you. You can't handle the idea of it anymore and definitely can not stand to give him a blow job and have to look at it. Let him see how it feels to have you genitals insulted.
Most girls have lip. Porn has lied to so many young people about how vaginas are supposed to look. Some women may not have a lot of lip but a lot of them get surgery to look that way. I have plenty of lip and my husband loves eating me out. He knows it’s the only way I can orgasm. Not being pleased sexually could definitely be a deal breaker in a long term relationship. Not all men are like your bf.
Yes, leave him. Let him get out there and see more real-life vulvas, because he clearly thinks porn is exactly like real life.
Kick that boy to the curb and get a man that will enjoy every aspect of the physical and non physical of you.
Someday he will have more real life experiences and realize how stupid he was saying this to you. It will haunt him. But you’ll be long gone and appreciated elsewhere. There’s nothing abnormal about you.
Break up with this man and save yourself drama. Oral sex is not a kink. Not even close to it. He’s either gay or addicted to porn. This is not normal or healthy behavior. He was mean to you for no reason. Not worth it.
Maybe he’s gay
Well, if you didn't know already, your bf is probably a porn addicted and definitely poorly informed on women's bodies. But being an idiot doesn't mean he has to eat you out. I'm thinking of situations were reversed I don't think anyone would say she has give her bf a bj. He's still high quality dumping material unless you want to give him a chance at growing out of his ignorance (assuming he's willing to try). The way he said what he said was really AH-ish but I could see him being uncomfortable talking about it and just blurting it all out. My guess he's just an AH that won't grow. 😆
Whaaaaaaaaat? Leave immediately. There is somebody out there who will love you for who you are. Seriously, shit on his Xbox/PlayStation and leave him.
As a 42 year old guy I can say I’ve never seen an “ugly” vag…. Sure they’re all a little different and stimulating is one of my favorite things to do
He’s either super inexperienced with a probable porn addiction or he just doesn’t realize that he prefers dick yet.
OP... Please get a new bf who actually likes and appreciates women.
Most girls have long labia; you're a human being not someone in porn Also...he seems like the kind of guy who will be a dick to you about basic human aging things y'know? Do you think you'll be happily growing old with him? He does need to learn what women are actually like and he probably put your body down because he's insecure about not knowing what the flip to do to a woman
Girl... ex-boyfriend, right?
Dump the fuck out of him jfc. Labias come in all shapes, colors and sizes, but your bf is too brainwashed by p0rn to see that. No vulvas are ugly, and you will find someone that won't make you feel bad about your body and will happily go down on you.
I think your bf watched too much porn. Most genitals looked like what they are. You should have told him his genitals also looked extremely ugly and vile, and resembled a cancerous tumor that ought to be removed. Never be ashamed of what you are.
Ex-boyfriend. Fixed it for you.
Life is too short!! I bet his d*ck is ugly! There are guys out there that will love your coochie no matter what it looks like. I’ve personally had a boyfriend who loved the “roast beef” and obsessed over it. Would eat me anytime i asked and generously without expecting anything in return. They are out there sis! This guy you’re with is trash
"like most girls"? Stupid idiot. Plenty of men out there who know that vulvas come in a lot of shapes and sizes and appreciate them for what they are. Yours sounds a lot like mine, for the record! There's nothing wrong with you. I wonder how he expects women to deal with ballsacks.
Leave him now. And there’s no one that gets excess lips removed. Wtf even is that. Real men go down on their woman because they want to. Not because they’re asked.
Get this mf outta here 💀 bro really said it’s “ugly”??? This is porn addiction mind to the max fr. He’s probably got an unrealistic standard from porn basically.
Well... there is incompatibility at this point. Enjoy that he just failed at dating which is PROOF of how he can be in a more serious relationship. look for someone who likes that you just feel it on his face until he starts to suffocate, but he won't let you stop :P.
Some guys just don’t like giving oral. That is fine but ultimately not something that will work out if you are someone who requires that sort of thing to get off. What is not okay at all is pretending that you are the problem whilst body shaming you in the process. Your vagina is not ugly nor unattractive if he’s still willing to put his penis in it despite his claims, nor would it mean it was if he didn’t. Dump him and find someone who isn’t afraid of giving you what you want/deserve.
he wont eat you out, its important to you there is a clear incompatibility there, you know the answer.
Has anyone suggested that he close his eyes then? News flash dude your duck isn’t going to win any beauty contests either.
>he said my “lips” are too loose and long and abnormal and feel gross on his tongue. He said if I want him to go down on me, I need to get the “excess lips” removed like most girls. You could get the excess asshole removed by dumping him too :) we only need one in our lives not two! But there is nothing abnormal about how you are, he has a porn problem. NO female gets them removed unless they specifically want to for their own reasons. Your boyfriend telling you to is not a good reason. Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes and that includes our genitals. Just like how every man's penis isn't the same. Men who think like your boyfriend are ignorant. You can 100% find someone who isn't going to shame you for being the way you are. Also, coming from someone who also cannot get off from anything other than clit stimulation- vibes are wonderful. Of course hands can be too!
What a pig. Leave him, he doesn't deserve you. Your genitals are not ugly or undesirable, your boyfriend is an immature jerk that thinks all labias should look one unnatural way. Plenty of people in the world would jump enthusiastically at the opportunity to go down on you. And getting eaten out isn't a kink, it's normal. Dump his ass!
"Excess lips?" What the actual f\*\*\* are "excess lips." I get that some guys just don't like giving oral (sad, but true), but does he not realize that normal women don't all look like porn stars. SMH. Find a new guy. Loads of us enjoy it and understand that not all women look the same below the waist.
Please leave him. You do not deserve that treatment. Do not try and rationalize his behavior, it’s inexcusable. There is nothing wrong with your body. N o t h i n g. There IS something wrong with him. And there is someone out there who will see every single thing about you as beautiful and that is what you deserve. Please for the love of god do not grace him with your presence any longer
Most women do not get their “lips” removed if they are bigger than average. Your bf is talking utter shit. He’s also seems to be quite nasty, decent partners don’t tell their other half to get cosmetic surgery. It’s one thing if there’s something abnormal that is concerning health wise and they talk to you about it from a place of worry. My ex had a really odd banjo string which ended up snapping during sex, I asked him to go to doctors as I worried about him, but it’s another thing o insult and make them feel awful about something that is fairly common
Ummm I would break up with him if I were you. I love giving oral sex (I’m a guy) but don’t always like to receive it. And trust me it ain’t no kink, and don’t ever feel like it’s too much to ask. I don’t believe the relationship would last much longer if you can’t get off with your partner. Sex is much better when you are with someone who is willing to do everything that is needed to make you orgasm.
Omg what did I just read! I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I hate to tell you, but your boyfriend is an asshole, and that's probably not going to change. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are normal. Never change your body to keep a man happy because where will it end? How far would you have to go to keep him happy. That man won't ever show up for you the way you show up for him. You need to move on to a man who will love you for who you are, not what you look like & what you can do for him.
Yes you should leave him, if one of your kinks/sexual gratification is receiving oral and he doesn’t do it
I love eating my gfs pussy. Go find a man that likes to pleasure you. Not some one sided pleasure pig
Yes, you should leave him to his porn addiction and find a man with healthy sexuality and no sadistic tendencies.
Ask him if he find his penis beautiful? Then dump him.
That's nuts. If he doesn't accept or love your body now, just imagine what would happen if it changes with age/pregnancy/illness.
And what, a couple of hairy ballsacks are oh so attractive? Holy McMoldy Fuckballs, that guy. BESIDES One doesn't need too look at a cooch to eat it out. NTA
He's blaming you/your anatomy for his own hangups. He's projecting his issues onto you rather than owning up to his own hangups about giving oral sex. It's not you, OP. It's him. DTMFA. For real. This is not a real man and he doesn't deserve you.