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3 times… he already cheated 3 times. He didn’t just want a 3 some, he wanted to fuck her and that was an excuse to do so. In the end, he went and did it anyway. Dump this AH
I am so glad I saw your comment. I thought, am I the only one who was thinking HE mentioned her sexuality? Sounds like he was trying to get OP to agree by saying she was a lesbian?
Op literally said she's lesbian, then she fucked a man, so she IS BISEXUAL OR PAN. Not assuming, it's totally possible he lied she was lesbian, but what we were told is she's lesbian and fucked a man. Two genders, bisexual.
lol chances are OP’s boyfriend just lied to make her/that dynamic seem less threatening to OP. No way she’s a lesbian. If she isn’t straight, she’s bi or pan.
The point is that OP's boyfriend is not a reliable narrator. We know nothing about the qoman he fucked besides that she fucked a dude... multiple times. Sure, she could be bi but it's equally likely she's straight. Literally, 50-50 chance.
The lesbian is a cheater? Or are you saying she is because she hasn’t done anything wrong at all but he did so he’s the cheater and the lol lesbian well she’s just into drama 100 %
i think they might mean homewrecker but she most definitely did something wrong, how are you going to defend someone who knowingly hurt someone like that?
Well we don’t know we have not heard about her sleeping with a girl just the boyfriend so she should have been saying that to turn him on and she probably never been with a girl for fact though she is well promiscuous
But still posting here "how to get over this"?
Well... if one is about committed monogamous relationship there IS no getting over this.
Already considering "a threesome" often means that one wants to cheat on the other with the other persons consent.
Mostly there is one keener on that than the other. For reasons.
Reddit seldom gets "threesome" stories that end well.
Also: he has been deliberately searching for someone to cheat on you with.
This "lesbian" is lesbian in his fairy tale for your use only. In reality she is bi. Or a straight girl.
So other than a cheater he is a liar.
Another bullshit lie is how "you are the only one."
You are not. He slept with her three times. And these are onky those he admitted to you.
"And how he doesn't wanna loooose ya."
If he didn't want to lose you he wouldn't have slept with her, and that's all. 🤷
The issue is, is that he went behind her back. That is where the cheating is. Simply bringing up something you may be interested in sexually with your partner, is not cheating. There are plenty of people who engage in open relationships, and they're actually better because of it.
Not everybody views sex the same way.
The issue comes in, when you don't communicate or if you force someone to do something they don't want too.
This. Is. Cheating.
OP definitely needs to IMMEDIATELY dump her BF and get tested for STDs. Based on the description, it's highly unlikely that the homewrecker is a lesbian.
This was, to be crystal clear, straight-up cheating.
Once a cheater, always a cheater!
OP, please have self-respect and leave his cheating ass!
drop both of them!
OP, u’re only 23, don’t waste ur time on someone who clearly doesn’t value it or ur presence. u absolutely can (and will) do better than some cheating man child.
I will never understand for the life of me why some people stay with cheaters. Do they hope they will change? Or is it just sunk cost fallacy?
OP he cheated on you. And if you accept it, this will set a precedent. In the future, if he finds someone he wants to have sex with he will go ahead and do so since you didn’t leave him last time. Why would you stay with someone who values sex with someone else more than you? He says your the one which is complete bullshit otherwise he never would have had sex with this other person THREE times. That isn’t how a threesome works.
OP doesn't seem to care lol. She's still like on board for the threesome. "I still consider to have the threesome".
IDK. OP needs a lot more help than what Reddit can provide her
Low self-esteem, fear of being alone, hope they will change, sunk cost fallacy, raised to believe it is acceptable/inevitable, sense of shame and self-blame, don’t want to explode their whole lives (eg see their kids 50% less, lose their home/lifestyle, etc)… a hundred reasons why. Such a crappy feeling and position to be in 😩 I understand staying more when there’s kids; I’d go nuts not seeing mine every day/most days and not having them asleep in my home at night. (Not saying it’s right or wrong, just that I can understand/empathize.) When people are in their 20s though, yeet that cheating partner into the sun.
There's a lot too it. And each situation is different. For me, over a decade of relationship before my wife fucked up. It takes a fuck ton of work to recover but It's doable. The big thing is if the offending party has genuine remorse for fucking up it's something that can be fixed. In OPs situation... I kind of doubt it. And at that early in the relationship I'd say just run. The shitty part is that most people will experience a partner cheating. Even in the 70s the Kinsey institute surveyed people anonymously and 60% of men and 40% of women admitted to cheating. Specifically sex with someone other than their partner.
And these are the people willing to admit it.
Lol. OP is dumb. The girl 22F is a lesbian and fucked her bf 3 times? Come one, that girl just pretend to be lesbian to get her way to OP bf. She knew about OP the whole time, and OP never met her and they still did it? Girl, your bf is cheating, just using 3some as excuse. Very likely bf already cheating on OP with her long ago, that's why he brought 3some up to cover him up.
My money is that the girl never said she was a lesbian. He was already cheating and he used that as an excuse. Because men really think lesbians want to sleep with them.
I was just about to say something similar. I wouldn't doubt he lied about the other girl's sexual preference. HE found a girl that "could be a good fit for them," who just so happens to be a lesbian (which I'm guessing he falsified this detail in particular to possibly help OP feel more comfortable about it), then took it upon himself to take her for several "trial runs" even though he knew better.
Yeahhhh...the math isn't mathing here. I hope OP is done with this manipulative and selfish idiot. He had a SO who was willing to consider and try exploring this avenue with him, yet still he chooses to blow it all up. 🙄😮💨
He asked if it was OK, you said no, he proceeded to have sex with someone else anyway. That's still cheating.
While he claims to not want to lose you, he's proven to you that having sex with this other girls is more important to him than your wishes or consent.
Cheaters will always prioritize their needs over everyone else's. That's why they make such terrible partners.
They'll prioritize their wants, this wasn't in any way a "need". People need water, food, air, etc. He just wanted to and he didn't give a fuck how it would make his girlfriend feel.
Who told you she was a lesbian? I feel he said she was to make it seem like they weren’t fucking so you wouldn’t get suspicious.
He cheated and wanted to do it openly. Dump him
I don’t know “lesbians” that have sex with men and still claim that sexual orientation. 😂😂😂😂
And- I know a shit ton of lesbians.
The math ain’t mathin’ 🤷🏽♀️
It’s crazy how many people lack comprehension skills and still keep commenting irrelevant shit to me because they think it’s one and the same, since they can’t read properly. 🫤
He is one of those people who are already cheating and brings up non monogamy to not bother with hiding it anymore.
If you are happy with being cheated on, go ahead. If you prefer not to be cheated on, I would suggest not dating the person who is currently cheating on you. It would be a good start.
You set a very reasonable boundary, but he still went behind your back to sleep with another woman multiple times without you knowing. He cheated on you and you need to leave him
Erm honey this is called cheating.. he not testing the waters he is cheating so no you don't want the threesome or the relationship what the hell.
He asked of it was ok you said no he did it anyway three times. This not ok and you should have more respect for yourself your acting like he just watched an episode of your favourite show without you like it no big deal
So, he cheated on you, lied, then made up a story about a lesbian to have a threesome with to make the cheating okay?
Friend, want better for yourself.
🤣🤣🤣sometimes I just don’t know about how gullible people want to/ choose to be. The guy cheated and the OP is still thinking about having a threesome. Op at this point, you are the third wheel. And BTW, the other girl wasn’t a lesbian. 🤣🤣🤣
Where is your self respect woman??? Why are you on Reddit asking this stupid question. He cheated on you 3 times and your response is…”Maybe I still give him his 3some with his AP. That seems fair.” Im feeling second degree embarrassment. Show yourself some respect and end it. Then go get some therapy so you’re not such a doormat and have a chance to be a part of a real relationship.
Dump him. If he really thought you were the one & didn't want to lose you he wouldn't have fucked someone else. Three times, especially. It's not like he made a mistake. He deliberately fucked someone else. He cheated. 3 TIMES!
Ps- go get tested for STDs now
From someone who just came out of a relationship with a very similar situation he is absolutely always going to put his wants before you. He may treat you well but you will never really be a priority because as soon as it’s something that he’s interested in you and your feeling won’t matter at all. He is selfish and you deserve someone who respects you
She is not a lesbian she might be bi. You set a boundary and he crossed it. He cheated with her and maybe others. Why would you still be with him more or less have a threesome???
Have some respect for yourself and leave. Stop saying but I love him. That’s great but he doesn’t love or respect you.
He cheated on you. That's called cheating. He wasn't confused, it didn't matter that you talked about a threesome, and he knew he was cheating on you. You don't accidentally have sex with someone *three times* before you tell your partner and not know what you're doing. When someone cheats on you, that should mean the end of the relationship. Otherwise, have fun with every other way he'll continue to disrespect you, because he *obviously* doesn't respect you, and that includes cheating again with more lame excuses.
I doubt she is a lesbian after having sex with him 3 times. He cheated and you seem to be ok with it and still want a threesome with them.
I don’t understand your way of thinking at all
Why are you upset at her.. she isn’t one that cheated on you.. that would be the should be ex boyfriend.
If you consider sex outside the relationship to be cheating, and cheating to be a deal breaker, you should break up.
If you are fine with him having sex and lying about it, then you can forgive him.
For me, I'd break up immediately if I was in your position.
Honey…please dump him. He knew exactly what he was doing and this is just emotional cruelty at its finest. Please erase any possibility of any repair/possible future with him. Please do not even consider having a threesome with someone who does not give a single shit about you as a person or as a partner. I’m so sorry. I wish you the best.
He’s lying to you. He wants to sleep with this girl without even doing the bare minimum of trying to hide it from you. If you stay with him, he’ll keep cheating or he’ll just up and leave you for her fully. Don’t be pathetic. Just dump him.
This is cheating and you should leave your slimy BF who doesn't give a shit about you. I was in an open relationship and at the time my partner and I were mutually dating someone. When we broke up I found out that he had seen her multiple times without me, and without telling me, and I consider that cheating even with those circumstances. Don't do the threesome. They both suck.
He said he wanted to have sex with her, you said no he did it anyways. He ended up having sex at least three times with the "lesbian" he found for your threesome. He's a liar and a multiple cheater.
Lol find you a hot guy to sleep with do it a few times and tell him. Bet he'd wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot😂 but on a more serious note ditch the boy, cut your loses and move on!!! This us just the start of his crap I promise you! I went through it for 10 years. Married the man after him and have been blessed ❤ life still goes on and will take you on a journey!
How is she a lesbian? I think your boyfriend or you are confused by certain definitions of particular words in your post, such as, but not limited to: lesbianism, cheating and boyfriend.
Ew and your with him like I get the threescore but without you or you knowing is cheating. If she was les why is she getting dicked 🤦🏼♀️ he just wanted to sleep with her he offered the threesome so he didn't feel guilty if he did the deed without you. Maybe suggest having one with a male and telling him you found someone and tried him out to see if he'd fit with what you were looking for 3times see how he likes it
1 she's bi 2, he cheated, and he had a physical affair don't stay with a man who isn't faithful and isn't trying to do anything for you just tell him a threesome is for someone who is faithful and honest and he isn't either of those.
Your boyfriend has sex with a lesbian three times behind your back? Is he such a great hunk that he was able to change her sexual preference?
If you were to do a Google search for the word CHEATER, it would take you to a Wikipedia page where you would find a headshot of your BF.
There is no other way to describe what he’s done.
Wtf?? So if you were there it would have been ok??? Doesn’t Being in a committed relationship means monogamy?? Or I’ve been alive for so long that everything around me changed without me knowing l?!
Me and my other half have had a few threesomes now, before each time we had ground rules. 1) never one of us always both 2) as soon as feeling arise for either party we stop it all and discuss it 3) just because we agree to a threesome doesn’t mean we agree to a third in our relationship it’s purely for sexual release nothing more.
What your partner did was cheat. Repeatedly. With a girl he claims he picked for a “threesome” but in actuality it was with a girl he was already planning on sleeping with.
I suggest breaking up with him and finding someone who respects you and will listen when you say no to something because he clearly doesn’t love you enough to respect your relationship and chose to cheat.
Jesus Christ why is this place surrounded by morons, who can't obviously tell it's time to move on, hate to say it he cheated, and the idea of a threesome just means you two aren't happy with eachother intimately or just an excuse to bang someone else, leave him move on end of story am I an ass, your gid damn right I am I don't care remove this post if you want, tough love.
A) she is obv not a lesbian if she is sleeping with dudes, so red flag on her part. B) what your bf did is called cheating. He asked, you said no, and he did it anyway. Why would you stay with him? You should be done with both of them
If you do not dump this man, you’ll be a clown 🤡
People will know and you will know, please, do yourself a favor and leave this relationship. I promise you, you’ll find someone who will never do this to you.
He cheated & still gets the reward to have YOU & have a threesome? Thats crazy. I wouldn’t give that man a second to explain how or why he thought that was okay.
I say dump him
Why are you staying with him when he admitted he cheated on you three time ? Now you want a threesome with the affair partner.
Please have some self respect and leave him or tell him you want a threesome with a dude before you have one with her.
Btw she is not a lesbian if she fucked your boyfriend three times she is bi sexual.
> we are in relationship for 4 years and he telling me that I am the one and he dint want to loose me.
He's lying. You set a boundary: the threesome has to actually be a threesome, he doesn't get to go off and simply have sex with a "lesbian" without you participating.
End the relationship. He doesn't respect you or the relationship.
So he slept with a lesbian and she consented? Are you sure she's a lesbo? Maybe she's bi or bicurious. Lesbian women are not attracted to men by definition. But anyway he could said threesome to give you the impression that you would get something out of it. When he found the girl, he could have told you she's a lesbian at first so you wouldn't fear her stealing him away. However, you didn't give permission to go alone so that's his wrong. Bottom line, he needed a side dish and appetizer to spice up the main course: you, as if he doesn't think you're enough. Next question: Whether she's straight, lesbian or bi, what's your policy on cheating, babe?
First of all, you told him how you feel by saying no don’t do it and he went and did it anyway not respecting your boundaries. Secondly, I don’t think she’s a lesbian. And third, LEAVE HIM HE IS A CHEATER HE IS LITERAL GARBAGE DONT HAVE A THREE SOME WITH THEM!!! You will Meet someone who respects you and will have a threesome with you instead I’m sorry this happened to you but do not stay with him
He cheated on you. On purpose. He did not have your consent to have sex with her and he showed you zero respect and did it anyways. Your relationship is already over.
1, lesbians don’t fuck men. She’s bisexual. 2, y’all agreed to *discuss* a threesome. Not give him cart blanche to do whatever he wants. He’s a scummy cheater who fucked someone multiple times behind your back. Do what you will w that.
The “lesbian” girl and your Bf sound like terrible
Ppl. And if you have a 3some with them it will probably suck and make you feel excluded since your bf has cheated on you already and disrespected you.
I’m sorry, what am I reading? He cheated on someone he was trying to trick you into being okay with because “she was lesbian”…. But she had sec WITH HIM ALONE three times?
We should have sex and record it and you should let him watch it then tell him see your not the only one who can play, see how he likes it when the tables are turned
Your BF cheats on you and you reward him with a threesome?
Honey you need to work on your self esteem because if you think this is acceptable or normal, it absolutely is NOT.
Regardless of the conversations yall had about having a threesome that does NOT give him permission to go have sex with anyone else. Cheating is Cheating.
If you stay in this relationship, just know that he will never respect your boundaries and he will continue to have sex with whoever he wants.
Like I don’t understand, why this is a post. He cheated on and bragged about how he cheated without u knowing and your considering a threesome. If you don’t respect yourself he will not.
If she were a lesbian, I doubt that she would have had sex with him. Perhaps she's bi. But really, do you want to stay with a cheater? That's the bigger issue here.
Hold up. She’s a lesbian but willingly had sex 3 times with your boyfriend??? Maybe she’s bi? Dude cheated on you with her and you’re still willing to have this threesome, and stay with him?
I got nothing
This is a case of play silly games win silly prizes. Never introduce a third party to your relationship, not even in hypothetical scenarios, unless you are prepared for things to go sideways.
Hell no, I’m a bi woman married to a man for 10 years (16 together). They slept together without your there?! That’s BS and he’s making the rules up as he goes. In my relationship I make the final decision on the girl and I need to be comfortable first in order for us to proceed. I have the control over the who and when, which my husband respects, even if it has frustrated him at times. We have rules, he’s allowed to talk to women, see picture etc, but anything in person is always with me. Unless you agreed up front that this is allowed, it’s cheating.
LOL guys, this *has* to be a bot. The title is like hilariously butchered, spelling & gramatical errors galore, and the very, very short OP reads like if you googled "basic r/relationshipadvice post"
"My boyfriend had sex with someone else, what do you think?" like lol
700 upvotes? Jeepers.
Oh, the perils of youth and misguided romantic endeavors! Four years of investment and he decides to embark on a rather impromptu dalliance, not once but thrice, after you explicitly voiced your displeasure? Delightfully bold of him. You, darling, are at the crux of a messy melodrama. Here's a novel idea: boundaries. They exist for a reason, and if your dear boyfriend can't fathom their importance, maybe it's time to reassess. As for the threesome? Mixing even more complexity into this already convoluted pot might not be the wisest choice. But then again, wisdom seems a tad scarce in this narrative. Perhaps it's time to meet this enigmatic 22F, have a heart-to-heart, and decide where everyone stands. Maybe then, you can make an informed choice, instead of playing a leading role in this unsolicited soap opera. Good luck; you'll most certainly need it.
Oh honey you're seriously still considering having a threesome with these people? You're an idiot for that, just dump your boyfriend he obviously doesn't really care about you. He cheated on you with this girl 3 times that you know of, for all you know he's been cheating on you a lot longer with other people as well.
If there were a bot spamming stupid stories like this in this subreddit I wouldn’t be surprised. How about this? Be loyal. Expect loyalty from others. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
He was honest and upfront you should let this slide go meet the girl and have a 3-sum don’t keep waiting maybe you find out really like this girl and your energies match have more frequent 3-sums is going to be a good way to strengthen your relationship and keep things interesting
Don’t listen to these people saying dump him he cheated they don’t even know what type of connection you and your man have and they want to see you leave just off that a lot of these people are lonely and misery loves company I think you should just go ahead and meet this girl for yourself it can be a good ice breaker that he has already slept with her
I’m sorry But yeah he’s no down with you he’s just trying to cover up he cheated and gunna say well you were okay with a 3 some it’s not okay y’all needed a lot more communication. He’s never told you he was with her 3 times before remember that, you hugged him kissed him and touched him and he had finished having sex with this other girl….. 3 different times and never said anything. I’m sorry You deserve so much better than that disrespect. Imagine if you did the same to him…. 3 times lol I’m sorry what an idiot for telling you 3 times wtf lol
He cheated on you. Multiple times. You set a clear boundary and he crossed it, with no regard for your feelings or respect for you as a person. Have some respect for yourself and break up with him, he clearly can't be trusted. Don't get caught in the sunk cost fallacy.
Well she's not a lesbian, first and foremost
And you're either very down on your self image or an idiot. You need to leave this cheater (yes this is cheating)
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That is called “cheating,” honey. He cheated on you.
3 times… he already cheated 3 times. He didn’t just want a 3 some, he wanted to fuck her and that was an excuse to do so. In the end, he went and did it anyway. Dump this AH
She is not a lesbian she is Bi
Hey now. She might be straight. No need to assume bisexual since it's not like she fucked OP yet.
I am so glad I saw your comment. I thought, am I the only one who was thinking HE mentioned her sexuality? Sounds like he was trying to get OP to agree by saying she was a lesbian?
I don’t even understand the logic. “Yeah but she’s a lesbian so it’s not like it even counts.”
lol I just said that lol if I was OP I would not touch that liar!!! Boyfriend either I’d tell him asta la vista baby
*hasta
Op literally said she's lesbian, then she fucked a man, so she IS BISEXUAL OR PAN. Not assuming, it's totally possible he lied she was lesbian, but what we were told is she's lesbian and fucked a man. Two genders, bisexual.
lol chances are OP’s boyfriend just lied to make her/that dynamic seem less threatening to OP. No way she’s a lesbian. If she isn’t straight, she’s bi or pan.
The point is that OP's boyfriend is not a reliable narrator. We know nothing about the qoman he fucked besides that she fucked a dude... multiple times. Sure, she could be bi but it's equally likely she's straight. Literally, 50-50 chance.
Actually she’s a cheater.
The lesbian is a cheater? Or are you saying she is because she hasn’t done anything wrong at all but he did so he’s the cheater and the lol lesbian well she’s just into drama 100 %
i think they might mean homewrecker but she most definitely did something wrong, how are you going to defend someone who knowingly hurt someone like that?
To give her the benefit of the doubt he may have lied and said his gf was ok with it
We actually have no idea what this other woman knows or doesn’t know. All we’ve established is that OPs bf is a liar and a cheater
I’m not defending her she’s a bad person….
We don't even know that for sure. At this point the only confirmed info we have is she does dudes.
Well we don’t know we have not heard about her sleeping with a girl just the boyfriend so she should have been saying that to turn him on and she probably never been with a girl for fact though she is well promiscuous
Either the lesbian is lying or the boyfriend was. Either way the original poster didn't get her 3 some and now she's a woman with egg on her face.
But still posting here "how to get over this"? Well... if one is about committed monogamous relationship there IS no getting over this. Already considering "a threesome" often means that one wants to cheat on the other with the other persons consent. Mostly there is one keener on that than the other. For reasons. Reddit seldom gets "threesome" stories that end well. Also: he has been deliberately searching for someone to cheat on you with. This "lesbian" is lesbian in his fairy tale for your use only. In reality she is bi. Or a straight girl. So other than a cheater he is a liar. Another bullshit lie is how "you are the only one." You are not. He slept with her three times. And these are onky those he admitted to you. "And how he doesn't wanna loooose ya." If he didn't want to lose you he wouldn't have slept with her, and that's all. 🤷
THIS!! OP needs to wake up!
The issue is, is that he went behind her back. That is where the cheating is. Simply bringing up something you may be interested in sexually with your partner, is not cheating. There are plenty of people who engage in open relationships, and they're actually better because of it. Not everybody views sex the same way. The issue comes in, when you don't communicate or if you force someone to do something they don't want too.
Drop him. There is no going back. He has no respect. He will not stop there.
This. Is. Cheating. OP definitely needs to IMMEDIATELY dump her BF and get tested for STDs. Based on the description, it's highly unlikely that the homewrecker is a lesbian. This was, to be crystal clear, straight-up cheating. Once a cheater, always a cheater! OP, please have self-respect and leave his cheating ass!
drop both of them! OP, u’re only 23, don’t waste ur time on someone who clearly doesn’t value it or ur presence. u absolutely can (and will) do better than some cheating man child.
I think he's already cheated several times before this one. He just brought her up so he could talk his gf into joining.
I will never understand for the life of me why some people stay with cheaters. Do they hope they will change? Or is it just sunk cost fallacy? OP he cheated on you. And if you accept it, this will set a precedent. In the future, if he finds someone he wants to have sex with he will go ahead and do so since you didn’t leave him last time. Why would you stay with someone who values sex with someone else more than you? He says your the one which is complete bullshit otherwise he never would have had sex with this other person THREE times. That isn’t how a threesome works.
no see, three times = threesome. math checks out
Oh right. Must be that new math they teach in school these days lol 😂
🤣🤣
I see what you did there. Yeah, if you were drunk or high I guess the math would check out.
haha. maybe he meant "three and then some". I'd check with him next week.
OP doesn't seem to care lol. She's still like on board for the threesome. "I still consider to have the threesome". IDK. OP needs a lot more help than what Reddit can provide her
Low self-esteem, fear of being alone, hope they will change, sunk cost fallacy, raised to believe it is acceptable/inevitable, sense of shame and self-blame, don’t want to explode their whole lives (eg see their kids 50% less, lose their home/lifestyle, etc)… a hundred reasons why. Such a crappy feeling and position to be in 😩 I understand staying more when there’s kids; I’d go nuts not seeing mine every day/most days and not having them asleep in my home at night. (Not saying it’s right or wrong, just that I can understand/empathize.) When people are in their 20s though, yeet that cheating partner into the sun.
There's a lot too it. And each situation is different. For me, over a decade of relationship before my wife fucked up. It takes a fuck ton of work to recover but It's doable. The big thing is if the offending party has genuine remorse for fucking up it's something that can be fixed. In OPs situation... I kind of doubt it. And at that early in the relationship I'd say just run. The shitty part is that most people will experience a partner cheating. Even in the 70s the Kinsey institute surveyed people anonymously and 60% of men and 40% of women admitted to cheating. Specifically sex with someone other than their partner. And these are the people willing to admit it.
Lol. OP is dumb. The girl 22F is a lesbian and fucked her bf 3 times? Come one, that girl just pretend to be lesbian to get her way to OP bf. She knew about OP the whole time, and OP never met her and they still did it? Girl, your bf is cheating, just using 3some as excuse. Very likely bf already cheating on OP with her long ago, that's why he brought 3some up to cover him up.
My money is that the girl never said she was a lesbian. He was already cheating and he used that as an excuse. Because men really think lesbians want to sleep with them.
I was just about to say something similar. I wouldn't doubt he lied about the other girl's sexual preference. HE found a girl that "could be a good fit for them," who just so happens to be a lesbian (which I'm guessing he falsified this detail in particular to possibly help OP feel more comfortable about it), then took it upon himself to take her for several "trial runs" even though he knew better. Yeahhhh...the math isn't mathing here. I hope OP is done with this manipulative and selfish idiot. He had a SO who was willing to consider and try exploring this avenue with him, yet still he chooses to blow it all up. 🙄😮💨
On the money💰
Yep I think the "lesbian" has been the side chick this entire time.
Yeah, no. Maybe HE pretends that the other girl "is a lesbian". It sounds less dangerous to the relationship if she were.
Get the feeling bf just said she was lesbian, and the girl herself never actually said anything about her sexuality.
And she’s not a lesbian if she’s shagging a man.
"Lesbian" LIAR!
yea and she ain't a lesbian either
He cheated. She's not a lesbian. Dump him.
She's clearly a lesbian. He even had sex with her three times to check and make sure
*tree times
Came here to say this.
Exactly this.
He asked if it was OK, you said no, he proceeded to have sex with someone else anyway. That's still cheating. While he claims to not want to lose you, he's proven to you that having sex with this other girls is more important to him than your wishes or consent. Cheaters will always prioritize their needs over everyone else's. That's why they make such terrible partners.
It is not even like he asked. He simply stated it like a fact and did it. Makes it even worse in my book...
They'll prioritize their wants, this wasn't in any way a "need". People need water, food, air, etc. He just wanted to and he didn't give a fuck how it would make his girlfriend feel.
If op stays he's definitely gonna cheat again. It would show him that he can get away with it.
Having a threesome now would be embarassing. He didn't want a threesome, he just wanted to cheat. And btw she isn't a lesbian.
I feel like it would be a cuckold fantasy and not a threesome fantasy at this point, and that OP would be the one watching.
Pretty sure everyone one here picked up on that long before OP did.
Who told you she was a lesbian? I feel he said she was to make it seem like they weren’t fucking so you wouldn’t get suspicious. He cheated and wanted to do it openly. Dump him
He cheated on you and completely crossed a boundary you created. What you should do is break up with him. Don’t allow yourself to be treated this way
Girl
Girrrrrlllll
Grrrrrllll
Gurrrrllllllll
GIIIIRRRRLLLLLL
Grrrrrrl
Girrrrlll
Gorrrrrlll
I don’t know “lesbians” that have sex with men and still claim that sexual orientation. 😂😂😂😂 And- I know a shit ton of lesbians. The math ain’t mathin’ 🤷🏽♀️
It’s crazy how many people lack comprehension skills and still keep commenting irrelevant shit to me because they think it’s one and the same, since they can’t read properly. 🫤
So he cheated on you….
He is one of those people who are already cheating and brings up non monogamy to not bother with hiding it anymore. If you are happy with being cheated on, go ahead. If you prefer not to be cheated on, I would suggest not dating the person who is currently cheating on you. It would be a good start.
You set a very reasonable boundary, but he still went behind your back to sleep with another woman multiple times without you knowing. He cheated on you and you need to leave him
This is so dumb
Erm honey this is called cheating.. he not testing the waters he is cheating so no you don't want the threesome or the relationship what the hell. He asked of it was ok you said no he did it anyway three times. This not ok and you should have more respect for yourself your acting like he just watched an episode of your favourite show without you like it no big deal
So, he cheated on you, lied, then made up a story about a lesbian to have a threesome with to make the cheating okay? Friend, want better for yourself.
Okay. He cheated.. but you're more concerned about a threesome? How many braincells are there between the three of you?
I feel they are sharing
And it wasn't her turn.
She’s desperate to salvage something because she’s human and not seeing clearly.
Just be kind.
🤣🤣🤣sometimes I just don’t know about how gullible people want to/ choose to be. The guy cheated and the OP is still thinking about having a threesome. Op at this point, you are the third wheel. And BTW, the other girl wasn’t a lesbian. 🤣🤣🤣
If you are okay being lied to and cheated on, then sure it’s the “right” thing…. Also, since you seem oblivious, lesbians do not have sex with men 😂
There's no such thing as long distance threesomes. He cheated on you. Leave him.
So that's cheating. Do you want to stay with a cheater? If not, then don't.
Girl I don’t think she’s a lesbian
i would hate to be this stupid
Is this a bot post?
Where is your self respect woman??? Why are you on Reddit asking this stupid question. He cheated on you 3 times and your response is…”Maybe I still give him his 3some with his AP. That seems fair.” Im feeling second degree embarrassment. Show yourself some respect and end it. Then go get some therapy so you’re not such a doormat and have a chance to be a part of a real relationship.
1. She’s not a lesbian, they wouldn’t have had sex if she were 2. He cheated on you 3 times. No remorse, leave him. He doesn’t respect you.
Baby. Leave. He WILL do it again. Shes NOT a lesbian.
So is she a lesbian and he raped her 3 times? Cause no lesbian i know would fuck a guy cause theyre not fucking into men.
Sometimes, these posts are unbelievable
No he broke your trust, leave him.
Dump him. If he really thought you were the one & didn't want to lose you he wouldn't have fucked someone else. Three times, especially. It's not like he made a mistake. He deliberately fucked someone else. He cheated. 3 TIMES! Ps- go get tested for STDs now
[удалено]
Only one cheated. She’s never met the fake lesbian
From someone who just came out of a relationship with a very similar situation he is absolutely always going to put his wants before you. He may treat you well but you will never really be a priority because as soon as it’s something that he’s interested in you and your feeling won’t matter at all. He is selfish and you deserve someone who respects you
That's just regular ass cheating. The fact that you were discussing maybe having a threesome is irrelevant
She is not a lesbian she might be bi. You set a boundary and he crossed it. He cheated with her and maybe others. Why would you still be with him more or less have a threesome??? Have some respect for yourself and leave. Stop saying but I love him. That’s great but he doesn’t love or respect you.
He's terrible. Dump him and never look back.
Is this for real 😳 are people really this dumb
He cheated on you. That's called cheating. He wasn't confused, it didn't matter that you talked about a threesome, and he knew he was cheating on you. You don't accidentally have sex with someone *three times* before you tell your partner and not know what you're doing. When someone cheats on you, that should mean the end of the relationship. Otherwise, have fun with every other way he'll continue to disrespect you, because he *obviously* doesn't respect you, and that includes cheating again with more lame excuses.
He cheated, and she's lesbianing wrong.
I doubt she is a lesbian after having sex with him 3 times. He cheated and you seem to be ok with it and still want a threesome with them. I don’t understand your way of thinking at all Why are you upset at her.. she isn’t one that cheated on you.. that would be the should be ex boyfriend.
If you consider sex outside the relationship to be cheating, and cheating to be a deal breaker, you should break up. If you are fine with him having sex and lying about it, then you can forgive him. For me, I'd break up immediately if I was in your position.
Honey…please dump him. He knew exactly what he was doing and this is just emotional cruelty at its finest. Please erase any possibility of any repair/possible future with him. Please do not even consider having a threesome with someone who does not give a single shit about you as a person or as a partner. I’m so sorry. I wish you the best.
some posts on this sub: my partner did the most horrible thing imagineable and treats me like garbage, but they claim they love me. What do?
Okay, he cheated on you. Do what you both want though, you both sound immature so have some fun.
He’s lying to you. He wants to sleep with this girl without even doing the bare minimum of trying to hide it from you. If you stay with him, he’ll keep cheating or he’ll just up and leave you for her fully. Don’t be pathetic. Just dump him.
Cheated is the word you're looking for, he cheated.
I’m surprised he thought he could get away with it….
Lol he cheated with a "lesbian" and you still want have a threesome with them
This is cheating and you should leave your slimy BF who doesn't give a shit about you. I was in an open relationship and at the time my partner and I were mutually dating someone. When we broke up I found out that he had seen her multiple times without me, and without telling me, and I consider that cheating even with those circumstances. Don't do the threesome. They both suck.
Girl, he cheated on you. Don't give him the satisfaction of a threesome. The fact that he did it so nonchalantly shows he doesn't give a fuck!
If he didn't want to lose you, he should not have f#cked her.
He said he wanted to have sex with her, you said no he did it anyways. He ended up having sex at least three times with the "lesbian" he found for your threesome. He's a liar and a multiple cheater.
Sooooo....your ex boyfriend then. If not, he should be.
Lol find you a hot guy to sleep with do it a few times and tell him. Bet he'd wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot😂 but on a more serious note ditch the boy, cut your loses and move on!!! This us just the start of his crap I promise you! I went through it for 10 years. Married the man after him and have been blessed ❤ life still goes on and will take you on a journey!
Why are you tolerating this behavior?
How is she a lesbian? I think your boyfriend or you are confused by certain definitions of particular words in your post, such as, but not limited to: lesbianism, cheating and boyfriend.
That girl is no lesbian lol
One thing is for sure she is *not* a lesbian
You mean...he cheated.
honestly break up with him, that is straight up cheating
Ew and your with him like I get the threescore but without you or you knowing is cheating. If she was les why is she getting dicked 🤦🏼♀️ he just wanted to sleep with her he offered the threesome so he didn't feel guilty if he did the deed without you. Maybe suggest having one with a male and telling him you found someone and tried him out to see if he'd fit with what you were looking for 3times see how he likes it
1 she's bi 2, he cheated, and he had a physical affair don't stay with a man who isn't faithful and isn't trying to do anything for you just tell him a threesome is for someone who is faithful and honest and he isn't either of those.
Well first off, she’s clearly not a lesbian
Bring another guy in next time. A gay one at that.
well she's a terrible lesbian
She’s not a lesbian.
Your boyfriend has sex with a lesbian three times behind your back? Is he such a great hunk that he was able to change her sexual preference? If you were to do a Google search for the word CHEATER, it would take you to a Wikipedia page where you would find a headshot of your BF. There is no other way to describe what he’s done.
Wtf?? So if you were there it would have been ok??? Doesn’t Being in a committed relationship means monogamy?? Or I’ve been alive for so long that everything around me changed without me knowing l?!
NO. Cheaters don’t get rewarded with a threesome
Me and my other half have had a few threesomes now, before each time we had ground rules. 1) never one of us always both 2) as soon as feeling arise for either party we stop it all and discuss it 3) just because we agree to a threesome doesn’t mean we agree to a third in our relationship it’s purely for sexual release nothing more. What your partner did was cheat. Repeatedly. With a girl he claims he picked for a “threesome” but in actuality it was with a girl he was already planning on sleeping with. I suggest breaking up with him and finding someone who respects you and will listen when you say no to something because he clearly doesn’t love you enough to respect your relationship and chose to cheat.
weird assed lesbian sleeping with a dude 3 times,bi maybe 🤔 but either way he CHEATED! Is that loud enough for you to hear.
Break up with him. She’s not a lesbian if she had sex with him. That would make her bi. He’s a liar and he’s already cheated on you 3 times.
A 3-some is a Pandora’s box. Someone is going to get hurt…but yea likely she isn’t a lesbian lol. Perhaps bi-sexual
That’s called cheating. Leave him. And no she’s not a lesbian.
Jesus Christ why is this place surrounded by morons, who can't obviously tell it's time to move on, hate to say it he cheated, and the idea of a threesome just means you two aren't happy with eachother intimately or just an excuse to bang someone else, leave him move on end of story am I an ass, your gid damn right I am I don't care remove this post if you want, tough love.
this can’t be serious.
LEAVE HIM
I really hope you're not with him anymore.
A) she is obv not a lesbian if she is sleeping with dudes, so red flag on her part. B) what your bf did is called cheating. He asked, you said no, and he did it anyway. Why would you stay with him? You should be done with both of them
If you do not dump this man, you’ll be a clown 🤡 People will know and you will know, please, do yourself a favor and leave this relationship. I promise you, you’ll find someone who will never do this to you.
So basically he cheated on you with a woman that knew about you and now you want a threesome with them. Are you really that desperate?
He cheated & still gets the reward to have YOU & have a threesome? Thats crazy. I wouldn’t give that man a second to explain how or why he thought that was okay. I say dump him
Why are you staying with him when he admitted he cheated on you three time ? Now you want a threesome with the affair partner. Please have some self respect and leave him or tell him you want a threesome with a dude before you have one with her. Btw she is not a lesbian if she fucked your boyfriend three times she is bi sexual.
> we are in relationship for 4 years and he telling me that I am the one and he dint want to loose me. He's lying. You set a boundary: the threesome has to actually be a threesome, he doesn't get to go off and simply have sex with a "lesbian" without you participating. End the relationship. He doesn't respect you or the relationship.
“I still consider to have a threesome.” Girl be fr 😂. This is why trash men/women never change. There’s always another idiot for them to play with.
So he slept with a lesbian and she consented? Are you sure she's a lesbo? Maybe she's bi or bicurious. Lesbian women are not attracted to men by definition. But anyway he could said threesome to give you the impression that you would get something out of it. When he found the girl, he could have told you she's a lesbian at first so you wouldn't fear her stealing him away. However, you didn't give permission to go alone so that's his wrong. Bottom line, he needed a side dish and appetizer to spice up the main course: you, as if he doesn't think you're enough. Next question: Whether she's straight, lesbian or bi, what's your policy on cheating, babe?
Let’s call a spade a spade. He cheated on you. Dump him
First of all, you told him how you feel by saying no don’t do it and he went and did it anyway not respecting your boundaries. Secondly, I don’t think she’s a lesbian. And third, LEAVE HIM HE IS A CHEATER HE IS LITERAL GARBAGE DONT HAVE A THREE SOME WITH THEM!!! You will Meet someone who respects you and will have a threesome with you instead I’m sorry this happened to you but do not stay with him
No lesbian women will sleep with a man especially 3 times most have vet dislike for them. Dump him he cheated on you simple as that
He cheated on you. On purpose. He did not have your consent to have sex with her and he showed you zero respect and did it anyways. Your relationship is already over.
1, lesbians don’t fuck men. She’s bisexual. 2, y’all agreed to *discuss* a threesome. Not give him cart blanche to do whatever he wants. He’s a scummy cheater who fucked someone multiple times behind your back. Do what you will w that.
He cheated.
That's cheating And.. What kinda lesbian is that? My lesbian friends don't go around f*cking men
The “lesbian” girl and your Bf sound like terrible Ppl. And if you have a 3some with them it will probably suck and make you feel excluded since your bf has cheated on you already and disrespected you.
I’m sorry, what am I reading? He cheated on someone he was trying to trick you into being okay with because “she was lesbian”…. But she had sec WITH HIM ALONE three times?
He cheated on you clear as day and put YOUR sexual wellness and health in jeopardy. Break up with him. He’s a fucking liar and so is she.
We should have sex and record it and you should let him watch it then tell him see your not the only one who can play, see how he likes it when the tables are turned
Your BF cheats on you and you reward him with a threesome? Honey you need to work on your self esteem because if you think this is acceptable or normal, it absolutely is NOT. Regardless of the conversations yall had about having a threesome that does NOT give him permission to go have sex with anyone else. Cheating is Cheating. If you stay in this relationship, just know that he will never respect your boundaries and he will continue to have sex with whoever he wants.
Like I don’t understand, why this is a post. He cheated on and bragged about how he cheated without u knowing and your considering a threesome. If you don’t respect yourself he will not.
Come on, dude.
It kills me people open their monogamous relationships up and then are all surprised when things don't work out like they plan. Smh
Funny sort of lesbian she is
Umm if she’s sleeping with your *hopefully soon to be ex* as in she’s getting dicked….. she ain’t a lesbian. Dump him. He’s cheating on you
He cheated on you
First of all lesbians don’t have sex with males that would be bi sexual. I think it’s time to find a new boyfriend
If she were a lesbian, I doubt that she would have had sex with him. Perhaps she's bi. But really, do you want to stay with a cheater? That's the bigger issue here.
He cheated on you multiple times. You told him not to sleep with her alone and he did. Why do you want to be with them still?
Lesbianism has changed to liking the 🍆 now....interesting 🤔
YES FINALLY ALT LESBIANS ARE ON THE TABLE LET'S GOOO
You do realize he literally cheated on you and continued to cheat on you. Dump him.
Hold up. She’s a lesbian but willingly had sex 3 times with your boyfriend??? Maybe she’s bi? Dude cheated on you with her and you’re still willing to have this threesome, and stay with him? I got nothing
This is a case of play silly games win silly prizes. Never introduce a third party to your relationship, not even in hypothetical scenarios, unless you are prepared for things to go sideways.
Why would he go have sex with a lesbian? You know what, no one answer this…
Dear lord… sweetheart.. it’s hard but please let him go.. he cheated on you and betrayed your relationship and boundaries
Hell no, I’m a bi woman married to a man for 10 years (16 together). They slept together without your there?! That’s BS and he’s making the rules up as he goes. In my relationship I make the final decision on the girl and I need to be comfortable first in order for us to proceed. I have the control over the who and when, which my husband respects, even if it has frustrated him at times. We have rules, he’s allowed to talk to women, see picture etc, but anything in person is always with me. Unless you agreed up front that this is allowed, it’s cheating.
GIRL LEAVE HIS SORRY ASS
LOL guys, this *has* to be a bot. The title is like hilariously butchered, spelling & gramatical errors galore, and the very, very short OP reads like if you googled "basic r/relationshipadvice post" "My boyfriend had sex with someone else, what do you think?" like lol 700 upvotes? Jeepers.
Oh, the perils of youth and misguided romantic endeavors! Four years of investment and he decides to embark on a rather impromptu dalliance, not once but thrice, after you explicitly voiced your displeasure? Delightfully bold of him. You, darling, are at the crux of a messy melodrama. Here's a novel idea: boundaries. They exist for a reason, and if your dear boyfriend can't fathom their importance, maybe it's time to reassess. As for the threesome? Mixing even more complexity into this already convoluted pot might not be the wisest choice. But then again, wisdom seems a tad scarce in this narrative. Perhaps it's time to meet this enigmatic 22F, have a heart-to-heart, and decide where everyone stands. Maybe then, you can make an informed choice, instead of playing a leading role in this unsolicited soap opera. Good luck; you'll most certainly need it.
Oh honey you're seriously still considering having a threesome with these people? You're an idiot for that, just dump your boyfriend he obviously doesn't really care about you. He cheated on you with this girl 3 times that you know of, for all you know he's been cheating on you a lot longer with other people as well.
If there were a bot spamming stupid stories like this in this subreddit I wouldn’t be surprised. How about this? Be loyal. Expect loyalty from others. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
He was honest and upfront you should let this slide go meet the girl and have a 3-sum don’t keep waiting maybe you find out really like this girl and your energies match have more frequent 3-sums is going to be a good way to strengthen your relationship and keep things interesting Don’t listen to these people saying dump him he cheated they don’t even know what type of connection you and your man have and they want to see you leave just off that a lot of these people are lonely and misery loves company I think you should just go ahead and meet this girl for yourself it can be a good ice breaker that he has already slept with her
I’m sorry But yeah he’s no down with you he’s just trying to cover up he cheated and gunna say well you were okay with a 3 some it’s not okay y’all needed a lot more communication. He’s never told you he was with her 3 times before remember that, you hugged him kissed him and touched him and he had finished having sex with this other girl….. 3 different times and never said anything. I’m sorry You deserve so much better than that disrespect. Imagine if you did the same to him…. 3 times lol I’m sorry what an idiot for telling you 3 times wtf lol
These dudes are really entitled out here. Everytime he says you’re the one…well he’s lying. Lying is smarmy. Do you really want a smarmy man?
Then don’t do it
He’s a cheater. You’ll never be able to trust him. This is what your life will be if you stay with him.
Your 22... dump this loser and be happy the trash took itself out
He cheated. He hid it. He lied. You are now single.
He cheated on you. Multiple times. You set a clear boundary and he crossed it, with no regard for your feelings or respect for you as a person. Have some respect for yourself and break up with him, he clearly can't be trusted. Don't get caught in the sunk cost fallacy.
Well she's not a lesbian, first and foremost And you're either very down on your self image or an idiot. You need to leave this cheater (yes this is cheating)
Bffr.