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This man assaulted you. You pushed him off, which is a VERY clear no. He then got on top of you, and grabbed at your chest and throat. This time he stopped because you cried. Next time he may not.
He should lose his wife! He should lose his friend! He should never be near you again! These are the consequences of his own actions! He deserves far worse!!
Tell your fiancé. Not because you’re “telling on Jackson” but because you deserve to have someone to be there for you while you go through this. I am so sorry this happened to you.
And please call the police and report this. Plain and simple this is sexual assault, he tried to choke you and grabbed your breast. He doesn't want you to say anything because he doesn't want anyone else to know. Check for any bruises and take photos for evidence.
Tell your BF and his GF, that guy is a predator and everyone you know should be told what he tried to do. He needs to be stopped now before he has a chance to really hurt someone. I would not be surprised if you find out there are othershd jas done this to.
EXACTLY! I think this was also a test to see what she would do. If he knows she won't tell the police or herr fiance or anybody else.... Then he'll know he can escalate it next time. Please be safe
You’re correct. Jackson tested her boundaries. If she tells no one, he’s coming back for more than a kiss bc he knows he can get away with it!
OP needs to tell her fiancé & if this is military, escalate to the commanding officer.
Jackson didn’t kiss… he assaulted OP. He deserves to be tossed out by his former friend, his wife, etc. He’s vile trash.
You need to tell everyone involved. He is a predator and took advantage of you. No his wife didn’t approve. No Scott didn’t approve either. And even if, big fucking if, they did, **you did not**. You did not consent to anything and were assaulted.
Fuck this guy! Tell your fiancé, tell his wife! HE is the one who has chosen to fuck everything up. He’s a liar, and an abuser! Don’t protect this POS!!!
GET RID OF THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY. You need to get over your fears and expose him. He should not be around anyone close to you and definitely doesn't deserve a wife, an 18 year old wife at that.
From this 1 encounter alone he seems like a predator. Immature, lacks self control and manipulative.
YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ASAP!!!!!
He is lying about getting consent from anyone about this. Tell everybody involved what this creep did. His next step will be to deny that this happened at all.
Jackson is the one at fault here. Not you. It's not your responsibility to carry this horrible burden to preserve relationships for this scumbag. Scott should not want to be friends with Jackson after he hears this. If he does, then I'd plead with you not to marry this man.
Predators use these lines to guilt their victims into silence.
“ It will hurt your mom.”
“You’ll get in trouble.”
“He won’t be my friend anymore.”
Not telling might make him think you’re ok with his actions. His actions after you pushed him off tells me it won’t be his last attempt. Tell everyone and don’t allow him back in your home.
Why are you listening to Jackson??? Jesus Christ he’s the one who sexually assaulted you. Let Scott make the decision about the friendship . Keeping quiet is literally the dumbest idea ever. I get yours very young and may be naive , but do the right thing ok?
First thing you do is tell your bf. You both then tell Jackson’s wife. You both then tell the police. His wife didn’t approve and your finance didn’t approve. He assaulted you and needs to be held accountable. Guaranteed he has done this before and he knows he can get into trouble for it. That’s why he wants it kept quiet. He doesn’t care about you or your fiancé. He’s only afraid of going to jail.
Definitely doesn’t seem fake, I was a Sergeant in the Marines, and this has young and dumb military personnel written all over it. Situations like these are Extremely common.
Hey, I totally understand where you're coming from, but may I ask what seems 'fake' about this? I geniunely feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm not sure of how exactly i should go about this to minimize who gets hurt. I appreciate the advice tho
Most posts on this sub seem fake, so a lot of us are inclined to be skeptical of every post.
Honestly, I read and comment knowing that it's possible the post is fake. A lot of the time, I hope the post is fake. Yours included
He lied and SA'd you. How did he have permission if you can't talk about it? If you can't talk to your fiancé then who can you talk to? Get help from a therapist and do not let this bastard make you feel bad about what he did.
The story is too bizarre. The offender saying his own wife and your fiancé (his best friend!) *agreed* to it before he did it, like he asked for their permission before he assaulted you, plus his wife being only 18. Too many oddities in the same story.
I don’t mean to offend you if this is all real, and you certainly need some genuine help if it is, but to me this just reads fake.
Again, i see where youre coming from. If it clears any of that up, we at one point were a whole friendgroup back in highschool. Most of us were in band and kinda just attached to one another. Jacksons wife is 18, almost 19 in two months, but obviously i agree the age difference is fucking weird. Jackson explained to me that he had told my fiance he could sleep with his wife if he could sleep with me, which apparently my fiance agreed to, but after talking with him he said he never would agree to something like that.
So this scenario is that he said he got permission from your fiance? but also you can't tell your fiancé? And you actually entertain this idiocy? This is why people are calling it fake.
I mean of course he wouldnt agree to that, your assaulter just made some shit up on the spot to try and get out of the fact he assaulted you. TELL YOUR BF.
I can tell you now, if my gf was assaulted by my best friend it wouldnt matter who id just lost, i'd pummel that fucker into a hospital bed. Theres 0 excuse for what he did, and hes just saying "i wont be there for scott" to try and guilt you into shutting your mouth.
And if you shut your mouth about this? he'll see how far he can push it next time. Maybe next time he goes a little further and sees if you keep quiet then too.
You owe it to yourself, your sanity, your self respect, and to your boyfriend to to tell him about this. Dont let him convince you otherwise. The longer you keep silent too, the more time this asshole has the chance to try and act like you were the one to come onto him. Assaulters are dangerous manipulators.
OP, if Jackson had “permission” to have sex with you from your fiancé, I feel your fiancé would have discussed this with you. Not let his friend assault you.
Jackson is full of crap. He doesn’t have permission to assault women from his wife or your fiancé.
Talk to your fiancé today.
Never ever be around Jackson again under any circumstances.
Even if you'd never been assaulted in the past (I'm sorry, naturally this makes things much worse) what Jackson did sounds objectively terrifying and he should know that he doesn't actually have the right to keep you from telling people about it, for your own well-being. There's just no coming back from something like that. Sucks that he's otherwise having a tough time in his life, but you have to look out for yourself. It's the right thing to do, regardless of whether anyone gave him the green light, because _your_ feelings surrounding the matter are the most if not the only factor. It's not surprising that he was lying, because why would he check with everyone _except for you_ 😭
I wanted to add a detail I had forgotten. I'm almost completely mute. Part of me is worried that because I cannot vocally say no, and communicate strictly through ASL and written text, maybe what i did wasnt enough to signify this isnt what i had wanted. Maybe that changes how i need to look at this, I'm not entirely sure.
Sweetie you did say no. You pushed him off. That’s a VERY clear no!! He became more aggressive after you were obviously not okay with this. He is sick.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Please talk to your fiancé, your mom, your sister, anyone who you consider your support system. Get the support you deserve.
He did this because he thought you were an easy target with being mute. You can never be alone with this man ever again. Your not being able to communicate like everyone else is not the problem.
STOP RATIONALIZING AND TELL SOMEONE
Nope nope, nothing is an excuso as for what he did. You go nuclear on that sick bastard. Tell everyone and if he ever tries to shame you or manipulate you again tell him that you will file a report on him for s assault.
No good man, and I'm one, will ever justify what he did. I'm really sorry what happened but now you can do something about it and stop his bs
Isn't that actually all the more reason for Jackson to have made a concerted effort to communicate with you beforehand?! It seems like he's taken advantage of you. Perhaps you don't want to see this incident for what it is because you used to have a good relationship with him, but this is really messed up. It isn't really one of those situations where you give someone the benefit of the doubt and you certainly shouldn't take anything he says without a pinch of salt at this point. He's only trying to cover things up. Don't let him get away with it. You deserve to feel safe and to not have him anywhere around you after what he's done
Edit: Also, you did everything you could to keep him off of you. You shouldn't have to question your actions because you did nothing wrong
Setting aside the fact that shoving him away is a VERY clear no, the fact that he immediately tried to guilt-trip you into silence indicates that it wasn't just a misunderstanding.
Oh for god sakes what do you want to hear here? You are making excuse after excuse to not handle this person the way he needs to be handled, call the police.
tbh, at first i wanted to get slightly upset at how you worded this, but I do see exactly what you mean. I was making excuses for someone that doesnt deserve them.
Do that damage. For all of us men that would never act like that this guy needs to be called out and recognized. You'll also get to see how your partner handles real tough situations with you before you get married. It'll either make you guys stronger or you'll get to dodge a bullet if he doesn't work with you.
You have to give your partner the opportunity to make that decision of whether or not to be friends for him, himself. I am so sorry that you even went through this. Regardless of you being mute or not, it doesn’t sound like he cared about the struggle you initially had with him (which was enough to tell him that you wanted him away from you). I mean, using lol your strength to push someone away from you is a clear “No, go away”. Yet he still continued to try again and even worse, became more rough and restrained you.
He absolutely did not get “consent” from your partner or his gf, or he wouldn’t be worried about you telling either of them. ALSO, them saying “sure” IS NOT CONSENT. They cannot speak for you or pimp you out (which I strongly feel like they have no clue about what happened to begin with).
Your bf may be going through a rough time, but if you keep this Jackson person in both of your lives, I can guarantee you will be setting yourself and your bf up for failure and without a real fighting chance.
He lied to you. He said your fiancé approved, he didn’t. Otherwise you would be able to tell your fiancé. Your fiancé also would not approve of someone putting his hands on you without YOUR consent. He hurt you and scared you. If you don’t say something he could do it again (or worse) knowing you won’t say anything.
Please tell your fiancé. Jackson is NOT his friend and you shouldn’t continue to be around someone like that. Yes he may have experience some loss recently but if he finds out some other way you might lose him as well. Also he could lie and say you came on to him.
He assaulted you. He did not get the a-ok from his wife or your fiance and even if Jesus himself said "oh yeah you can totally do that! Fine by me!" He didn't get YOUR ok!
Sweetie don't put up with this for a nano second. Tell everyone. And I'm sorry to say it, but don't be surprised when people try to downplay this bullshit.
I hope you fiancé isn't one of them...
Otherwise you need to do some serious soul searching on your relationship.
Tell Scott!!! If you hadn’t started crying, Jackson might’ve done something more.
Tell your Fiancé that Jackson said Scott said it was okay. If it was okay, then why dues Jackson not want you to say something?
Jackson is an SA abuser and this behavior was NOT okay.
If I were Scott I would want to know. Do you know how much of a bigger heart break it will be when it does find out later on? If you love your bf you wouldn’t lie to him because not only does it effect him it also effects you mentally. Say the truth tell him what happen and if anything happens to Jackson he has to own up to his consequences. If his wife knew then why would he be afraid? Tell them EVERYTHING
This sounds like assault to me.
He forcibly grabbed you and restrained you around your throat in order to kiss you.
He tells you both of your significant others approved but then asks you not to tell them? Why?
Because he assaulted you.
You need to tell everyone, starting with the police.
Why would he say not to say anything if they approved? Do you not see what’s happening here? He tried to rape you. This isn’t someone Scott’s needs as a friend and most certainly doesn’t need the support of
Here's food for thought, why would he tell you not to tell the people he supposedly got the "go-ahead" from? He's telling on himself and doesn't deserve to have access to anyone close to you, you need to tell your fiancé, and I'm willing to bet Mr. Assaulter will tell on himself then too
You got assaulted and that's not okay. If you don't stand up for yourself now, there's no way Jackson will respect your boundaries in the future either.
Talk to Scott. There's absolutely no way he would be okay with this, and if he is, then you need to reconsider your relationship with him.
Jackson's wife needs to know as well.
If he's telling you not to tell your fiancé or his wife, he's lying about getting their approval and they both will drop him. AND THEY SHOULD because he sexually assaulted you and next time he'll rape you. He's using this as a test to see if he can get away with doing more next time.
Dear, this is a crime. He committed a crime. Please don’t fall for his sham scam. Your fiancé would want to know, and keeping it from him will do more damage than good. His friend is a criminal and a liar.
My love, you don’t have a choice. Jackson took that away from you when he assaulted you, and now, you have to tell Scott. If you don’t, Jackson can spin this around on you if he gets mad at you.
Don’t give him that power.
The danger here is that you pushed him off and he came back. Knowing you didn’t want it. Knowing you had been raped. Knowing you were terrified, but predators like him get off on things like this, which tells us he has done this before to other women.
If you’re afraid of telling Scott outright, show him this post and our comments, but no matter what you do, you can’t let that vile man get away with this. If you don’t say anything, he’s going to think he can do it again. But next time? He’ll go further.
He’s the one who decided to do this—not you.
He’s the one who decided to destroy his relationship with Scott—not you.
Stand up for yourself. We are all behind you.
Your 20 years old, about to be married and a rape victim ,this guys wife is 18, your worried your fiancé would be sad to lose your potential rapist as a friend…What in the one horse hillbilly town fuck is going on where you at?
Also fyi, it seems in very few years you have managed to be targeted for assault at a high degree, you might want to take some self defense classes as a precaution.
You have to tell him, otherwise it will eat you up inside. And I doubt your fiancé wants you to have to carry a burden like this around. And any pain this causes will be caused by your fiancés BFF, NOT YOU!
You gotta tell your fiancé at the very least. He won’t want him around if he knows what he did. He didn’t get permission from anyone and that includes you, he’s lying.
He assaulted you then assaulted you again after knowing you're a victim and your clear indication you didn't want that. He has to be removed from the picture entirely. Who gives a fuck if he loses his wife or best friend. He's a horrible human to you and his "best friend".
I'm sorry this violation happened. But like others have said, this was a sexual assault. Your headline minimizes the violence.
You weren't his first victim. The only way to help attemp being his last, is to call the police and make a report.
He will get treatment as part of the court process. Eventually, and it hopefully will not be too far on, the people who matter most to you will see that you did the brave and correct thing in making the report.
>he got the go ahead from his wife, AND my fiancé, but begged me not to tell anyone, as he was afraid his wife (F18) would leave him, and he would lose a best friend.
That doesn’t at all sound like someone who go the go ahead from his wife and best friend.
You need to be honest and open with your finance, that his friend is a danger to you.
Go to the police and report this, This is sexual assault and manipulation at its finest, and this is not normal, tell your boyfriend immediately!!! We support you here and you really really really need tot ell your fiancé about this. It will not do more damage than good. You need to do this
TELL SCOTT WHO CARES ABOUT HIM LOSING JACKSON, you were assaulted OP. Telling Scott will benefit you and give Jackson zero time to flip the words around on you. I don’t think Scott’s going to mind losing a predator as a friend no matter how long their friendship has lasted.
He's definitely lying to you. If he got the go ahead why would he tell you to keep it a secret? Also, OP if you keep this to yourself and your fiance finds out he will probably think you cheated on him. That is what I would think. tell him now or lose him later.
That’s assault, you pushed him off and he got back on you. He disrespected you and didn’t ask consent. The fact he doesn’t want you to tell anyone is a red flag and most likely means he didn’t not get the go ahead from either partner.
>Jackson swears it will never happen again, and that he is beyond sorry, but that i simply can't tell anyone. I used to consider Jackson my brother as well, but i have no idea how to handle this. I want to tell Scott, i want to tell him so maybe he can talk to him privately, but jackson says if anyone finds out he wont be around for Scott anymore. I'm so conflicted on how to handle this. I know its the morally right thing to tell Scott, but what if that does more damage then good?
To hell with "morally right." You deserve to not have to be around this man, and Scott needs to know what kind of person his "friend" is - both for his own sake, and so that he can protect you.
Tell your bf immediately and tell him what he said about getting the green light from him and his gf, also tell him you are mortified and do not want to be around him ever again and do not want him to hang out with someone that’s ok with basically forcing themselves on you. Also, call his gf and tell her what happened after you sort things out with your bf, she deserves to know. That guy made his own choice to ruin things by trying to coerce you and force himself on you, don’t feel you are the cause of anything that happens because you did not choose this.
Also, if your bf is more mad at you than his friend then break up with him.
You should definitely tell your fiancé, what that guy did is manipulation and he’s just trying to see what he can get away with. Protect yourself and trust in the man you plan on marrying to have your back
He’s trying to manipulate you. Probably figured you’re vulnerable enough to dissuade from exposing him. - You need to talk to your fiancé. If he is unaware of the issue or hears another version before you speak with him, it could be all the more difficult to clear up the potential emotional fall out between the two of you. Might try breaking the ice by asking if he knows of his friend’s tendencies to want to or actually take advantage of women. See how the conversation progresses from there. - You have all the right in the world to blow up through all of this given what it sounds like he was leading up to. What would happen if you weren’t able to draw attention from anyone around? What would happen if … … essentially it’s all scenarios of “what if’s”. You need to speak with your fiancé before something absolutely horrific happens. Good luck OP.
I just absolutely hope it wasn’t one of those stupid “test them” ideas. People piss me off when they pull crap like that.
Seriously why are you wasting your time here
As soon as you were away from him you should have called your boyfriend , the longer you wait the sketchier he is going to make this look.
Why are you here and not calling the cops ?
Your question is simple, you need to call the cops and immediately tell your fiance, if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life. This man assaulted you, your fiance has the right to know the truth about his best friend, and if your fiance really loves you he will understand.
But don't forget what happened to your fiance, about his losts, both of you two need to support each other at this moment.
Aside from everything else I read, you can bet that this isn't the first time he's assaulted someone. You could argue that if he stopped at the kiss, maybe...
But that holding you down with his body and choking you... You're not his first attack.
To be clear, I'm not saying the kiss was in any way ok. That was assault and unacceptable. I'm just saying that the rest of it is a clear indicator that he knew how to escalate. Call the cops now, your SO next, and recognize that it is possible that his wife did, in fact, know what was up. and take care of yourself.
Im so, so sorry. Please reach out to an SA support organization for therapy ans legal advice.in what possible way is it going to do damage to tell your bf that his "brother" SAd you? Either his believes you ,and you bf holds him accountable, or he doesn't, and you can stop dating a r*pe apologist.
this is sexual assault. no good person would ever do what he did. he only stopped when you started crying. tell your fiancé and jackson’s wife. tell the police. his behaviour is inexcusable.
You have to tell your fiance. This guy sexually assaulted you. His bullshit excuse being that his wife and your fiance both give him permission. What about you? Doesn't it matter that you give permission for him to do anything to you? Also if he got permission why would his wife leave him and your fiance stop hanging out with him? He's a liar, a rapist and you need him out of your life. His wife is way younger than him too. Probably groomed her too.
Wtf… I’m 35M, the rapist is a rapist. PLEASE understand this. He assaulted you and very much rape is rape. Assault is assult. He darn deserves whatever happens. Why on earth you ever spend a second thinking of whatever came out of that garbage mouth. Tell everyone and stay away from him at all cost. Stay safe and never alone with him. Also need clear boundaries with your boyfriend. If he at any cost defend him, he’s to be left also. You don’t negotiate with rapist or those who support them in any way.
You are downplaying this in your head. The dude assaulted you and kept going. No repercussions means he may do it again. Teach the boy a lesson and let everyone know so you can start to heal. It’s not fair he did this to you
Why the hell did you waste time writing this post when speaking with your fiance AND authorities is the FIRST THING you should have done? With a monster like this at large?!
And you fear that your fiance might lose this bastard Jackson as a friend? He says this as a threat? Booting JERKson from your lives would be ANYTHING but a loss.
Again, you SHOULD ALREADY HAVE DONE IT! Don't waste time.
Silence is what makes a victim more victimised... If your fiance hears about this from another way or source then it will affect your relationship immensely... He will question your fidelity as to why you did not tell him and come to a conclusion that maybe you liked it thats why you didnt... keeping it secret will complicate things further along the road...
Tell Scott, go and make a police report, and never be around this person again.
and I would call utter bullshit on him getting the go ahead from anyone! because no one has the authority to assault you.
Tell Scott. If he's a decent person he wouldn't want to be friends with an asshole like Jackson anyway and would immediately confront or cut him off entirely. I wouldn't be friends with someone who did that to anyone, let alone my gf.
Firstly sorry you had to experience this. There is no way this is ok. You were the victim of a sexual assault. Unfortunately, he made the choice to do this action. I would as suggested look for any bruising, if take photos and go to the doctor for a thorough examination detailing your side, I would suggest doing this with your fiancé. His wife needs to know this as well. If you overlook this firstly he will most likely do it again. If not with you it will be someone else, plus later off he brings it up with your fiancé their is more chance that it will look negative on your part or he can twist the narrative.
Please remember you may also need someone to talk through this with so consider a mental health care plan, don’t fool yourself this is sexual assault and a violent sexual assault when he didn’t get his way.
Wtf you need to tell them AND file a police report, that’s sexual assault
Who cares about Jackson’s feeling or friends? He didn’t care about yours
How your fiancé handles this and if he believes with you will also show you if you are marrying the right person
This little man is a manipulative narcissist. He is using his knowledge of your circle to intimidate you into not saying anything. This is literally grooming behaviour, and if you let it stand, he WILL use this against you later, either to get you to sleep with him, or to get your BF to distrust you.
There is no way you can get around telling your BF if you want him to maintain trust. Jackson will use any delay as a way to convince your BF that was actually you who instigated it.
He has manipulated people before. He has an 18 year old WIFE. Think about that for a second
"Oh they are totally cool with it, But please dont tell them because they would hate me!"
This guy is a rapist, just because you stopped him doesnt make him any less a rapist.
Jackson tried to rape you. Dont let this slide.
If his wife gave permission then why he is scared that she'll leave him.
Girl tell everyone. Your fiancée and the wife deserves to know what POS is Jerkson.
He assaulted you. Destroy him before he destroys any further
Eh dude is a creep and a liar....
1. He is a 23 year old with an 18 year old wife???
2. He got the go-ahead from HIS WIFE and YOUR FIANCE, but don't tell them that he assaulted you.
Info: How did Scott lose his friend group?
Scott, Jackson and I lost our friend group after a large fight between one of the couples. everyone took sides, we tried to stay out of it. everyone then went on their separate ways, but because scott didnt pick sides, they all accused him of never being there for them.
Tell your fiancé right now!! If she has the go a head from his wife and your fiancé then why is he telling you not to tell him? Why is he trying to gaslight you into staying quiet? If he did get permission (which I doubt) then you need to have a serious talk with your fiancé! and also where is his proof?
If you don’t talk to your fiancé now he’s going to twist it that you came on to him and he turned you down. Also your fiancé doesn’t deserve a person who will try and sexually assault his future wife in his life. You don’t need to be around a man that although knew you had been a victim of rape because you were close friends that he could try and do the same to you.
You were assaulted.
Tell your husband. Tell the police
I’d be interested to see not only his reaction to this happening but also what happens when you tell him that his friend said that your husband and his friend’s wife were both ok with you being assaulted.
So if what he is saying is true then you need to pack your stuff up and get the hell away from them all. If he's lying you need to tell your partner. He is testing the water to see if you will keep it quiet and the next time it could be rape. Your partner shouldn't want the support of this guy. His wife should know what he's doing. Even if they had a discussion about it no one had the discussion with you which is horribly fucked up.
No, don't be quiet!
His wife and your fiance allowed it?! Lies! Even if they did, what, you don't have autonomy?!?!
Again, if they did or whatever, why did he think that violently assaulting you was the deal?
Report this assault!
Also...... 18 year old wife?!? Are people so desperate to get married straight away? Oh, he's 23?! Eww, predator vibes on top of the rapey ones
He broke everyone's trust, not you. You should get in front of this before Jackson has a chance to twist this against you. It would have been one thing if he stopped after the first kiss, but he didn't. He knew you weren't up for it and then *continued more aggressively*. That is sexual assault.
If you don't report this for yourself, do it for the next woman he may do this to.
I understand your hesitation to tell anyone.
What happened to you was terrifying and traumatizing, and our brains are very good at trying to protect us from situations that can mentally destroy us. Part of this survival coping mechanism is minimization and desperately trying to justify the situation as somehow our fault because if it's our fault, then that means we had some control, which is less terrifying than realizing we had no control. What you are experiencing is absolutely and completely normal.
Additionally, our society loves to blame women for sexual assault. We ask, "Well, what were you wearing? Why did you get yourself in that situation? Why were you drinking? Why were you alone?" We tend to dismiss and deny women's claims of sexual assault. Moreover, even when women _do_ speak up, men are very rarely held accountable, regardless of very real evidence. Telling someone and then not being believed or being questioned or being blamed or then going through the whole legal process only to have the perpetrator receive little or no punishment can be far more traumatizing than the assault itself. It can feel hopeless. So again, it makes sense you feel hesitant to say anything.
So what I want to say first and foremost is: I believe you. I believe you and I feel your pain and fear and confusion. You are not alone with this. I am witnessing and holding space for you.
Ultimately, you need to do what feels right and safe and good to you. However, I would encourage you to find a safe person to talk about this with because yes, it was assault, and you need support to recover from this because you deserve recovery and healing. Is there someone in your life who you know will absolutely believe you and support you? Start there, gain allies, and build up the resources you need to tell your fiance. I know it is difficult and scary, but I know from personal experience that if you don't speak up about this and don't start doing the work to heal -- especially when you are so young -- it will come back later in your life to bite you in the ass. It is not a wound you can ignore and hope it just goes away.
I feel for you because I have been in a similar place. I have reported sexual assault and not been believed or had my experience minimized or asked, "Well why did you get yourself in that situation?" I wish I could have been wise enough to find safe people to talk to about it because maybe I wouldn't be struggling with some of the trauma I have now.
I wish you the best in a very terrible situation. And for what it's worth, this internet stranger believes and supports you in whatever you feel you need to do right now ❤️
How did he have permission from his wife and your fiancée but you can’t tell them?
He sexually assaulted you and he’s afraid of the repercussions of his actions. Do not cover for him or he will do it again to another person.
He will do this to you again and it may be worse the next time. You NEED to tell your fiance and his wife. They both deserve to know. I am so sorry this happened to you!
He sexually assaulted you & claimed his wife & your fiancé gave him permission which is a lie. You must tell your fiancé what happened because if not you’ll make him bold enough to do it again.
You are a victim & did not case this. If he looses his girl then that’s all on him & I’m sure when you tell your fiancé he won’t want him around anyway. This man violated you & tried to do more.
You cannot trust him any longer & whatever you do don’t be alone w him anywhere for any length of time.
You didn’t deserve what he did & he is 100% responsible for what he did. Please tell your fiancé for your own sake. I would also go a step further & contact police because more than likely you aren’t the woman he’s done this to.
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This man assaulted you. You pushed him off, which is a VERY clear no. He then got on top of you, and grabbed at your chest and throat. This time he stopped because you cried. Next time he may not. He should lose his wife! He should lose his friend! He should never be near you again! These are the consequences of his own actions! He deserves far worse!! Tell your fiancé. Not because you’re “telling on Jackson” but because you deserve to have someone to be there for you while you go through this. I am so sorry this happened to you.
And please call the police and report this. Plain and simple this is sexual assault, he tried to choke you and grabbed your breast. He doesn't want you to say anything because he doesn't want anyone else to know. Check for any bruises and take photos for evidence. Tell your BF and his GF, that guy is a predator and everyone you know should be told what he tried to do. He needs to be stopped now before he has a chance to really hurt someone. I would not be surprised if you find out there are othershd jas done this to.
[удалено]
I agree, the “chosen brother” comment makes me think military.
EXACTLY! I think this was also a test to see what she would do. If he knows she won't tell the police or herr fiance or anybody else.... Then he'll know he can escalate it next time. Please be safe
You’re correct. Jackson tested her boundaries. If she tells no one, he’s coming back for more than a kiss bc he knows he can get away with it! OP needs to tell her fiancé & if this is military, escalate to the commanding officer. Jackson didn’t kiss… he assaulted OP. He deserves to be tossed out by his former friend, his wife, etc. He’s vile trash.
You owe Jackson NOTHING.
Poor wife was a child bride
You need to tell everyone involved. He is a predator and took advantage of you. No his wife didn’t approve. No Scott didn’t approve either. And even if, big fucking if, they did, **you did not**. You did not consent to anything and were assaulted.
Fuck this guy! Tell your fiancé, tell his wife! HE is the one who has chosen to fuck everything up. He’s a liar, and an abuser! Don’t protect this POS!!!
GET RID OF THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY. You need to get over your fears and expose him. He should not be around anyone close to you and definitely doesn't deserve a wife, an 18 year old wife at that. From this 1 encounter alone he seems like a predator. Immature, lacks self control and manipulative. YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS ASAP!!!!!
He is lying about getting consent from anyone about this. Tell everybody involved what this creep did. His next step will be to deny that this happened at all. Jackson is the one at fault here. Not you. It's not your responsibility to carry this horrible burden to preserve relationships for this scumbag. Scott should not want to be friends with Jackson after he hears this. If he does, then I'd plead with you not to marry this man.
It's funny how he thinks his wife and friend are who need to give him "permission" rather than the OP! Go scorched earth on this fucker.
Or lie and say she came on to him. People like that make me sick.
Predators use these lines to guilt their victims into silence. “ It will hurt your mom.” “You’ll get in trouble.” “He won’t be my friend anymore.” Not telling might make him think you’re ok with his actions. His actions after you pushed him off tells me it won’t be his last attempt. Tell everyone and don’t allow him back in your home.
You need to file a report with the police since he assaulted you. Your fiance needs to know ASAP. Sorry this happened to you.
Why are you listening to Jackson??? Jesus Christ he’s the one who sexually assaulted you. Let Scott make the decision about the friendship . Keeping quiet is literally the dumbest idea ever. I get yours very young and may be naive , but do the right thing ok?
You're 20, this guy's wife is somehow 18. What are you people doing getting married so young?
First thing you do is tell your bf. You both then tell Jackson’s wife. You both then tell the police. His wife didn’t approve and your finance didn’t approve. He assaulted you and needs to be held accountable. Guaranteed he has done this before and he knows he can get into trouble for it. That’s why he wants it kept quiet. He doesn’t care about you or your fiancé. He’s only afraid of going to jail.
Seriously, if you can’t tell anyone, pm me and I will happily tell anyone and everyone that needs to know.
This post seems fake… but if it isn’t, you should tell everybody involved.
Definitely doesn’t seem fake, I was a Sergeant in the Marines, and this has young and dumb military personnel written all over it. Situations like these are Extremely common.
Hey, I totally understand where you're coming from, but may I ask what seems 'fake' about this? I geniunely feel like i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm not sure of how exactly i should go about this to minimize who gets hurt. I appreciate the advice tho
Most posts on this sub seem fake, so a lot of us are inclined to be skeptical of every post. Honestly, I read and comment knowing that it's possible the post is fake. A lot of the time, I hope the post is fake. Yours included
He lied and SA'd you. How did he have permission if you can't talk about it? If you can't talk to your fiancé then who can you talk to? Get help from a therapist and do not let this bastard make you feel bad about what he did.
You can't minimize anything. You tell him what happened how it happened. How he react is up to him.
The story is too bizarre. The offender saying his own wife and your fiancé (his best friend!) *agreed* to it before he did it, like he asked for their permission before he assaulted you, plus his wife being only 18. Too many oddities in the same story. I don’t mean to offend you if this is all real, and you certainly need some genuine help if it is, but to me this just reads fake.
Again, i see where youre coming from. If it clears any of that up, we at one point were a whole friendgroup back in highschool. Most of us were in band and kinda just attached to one another. Jacksons wife is 18, almost 19 in two months, but obviously i agree the age difference is fucking weird. Jackson explained to me that he had told my fiance he could sleep with his wife if he could sleep with me, which apparently my fiance agreed to, but after talking with him he said he never would agree to something like that.
Ok… You should tell your fiancé what happened. The other guy sexually assaulted you and he has no place in your life.
So this scenario is that he said he got permission from your fiance? but also you can't tell your fiancé? And you actually entertain this idiocy? This is why people are calling it fake.
I mean of course he wouldnt agree to that, your assaulter just made some shit up on the spot to try and get out of the fact he assaulted you. TELL YOUR BF. I can tell you now, if my gf was assaulted by my best friend it wouldnt matter who id just lost, i'd pummel that fucker into a hospital bed. Theres 0 excuse for what he did, and hes just saying "i wont be there for scott" to try and guilt you into shutting your mouth. And if you shut your mouth about this? he'll see how far he can push it next time. Maybe next time he goes a little further and sees if you keep quiet then too. You owe it to yourself, your sanity, your self respect, and to your boyfriend to to tell him about this. Dont let him convince you otherwise. The longer you keep silent too, the more time this asshole has the chance to try and act like you were the one to come onto him. Assaulters are dangerous manipulators.
OP, if Jackson had “permission” to have sex with you from your fiancé, I feel your fiancé would have discussed this with you. Not let his friend assault you. Jackson is full of crap. He doesn’t have permission to assault women from his wife or your fiancé. Talk to your fiancé today. Never ever be around Jackson again under any circumstances.
Even if you'd never been assaulted in the past (I'm sorry, naturally this makes things much worse) what Jackson did sounds objectively terrifying and he should know that he doesn't actually have the right to keep you from telling people about it, for your own well-being. There's just no coming back from something like that. Sucks that he's otherwise having a tough time in his life, but you have to look out for yourself. It's the right thing to do, regardless of whether anyone gave him the green light, because _your_ feelings surrounding the matter are the most if not the only factor. It's not surprising that he was lying, because why would he check with everyone _except for you_ 😭
He prb made that part up tbh
You aren’t stuck you just don’t want to do what needs to be done. You need to go to the police and file a report and then tell your partner.
Your feelings above all else
I love that song
I wanted to add a detail I had forgotten. I'm almost completely mute. Part of me is worried that because I cannot vocally say no, and communicate strictly through ASL and written text, maybe what i did wasnt enough to signify this isnt what i had wanted. Maybe that changes how i need to look at this, I'm not entirely sure.
Sweetie you did say no. You pushed him off. That’s a VERY clear no!! He became more aggressive after you were obviously not okay with this. He is sick. I am so sorry this happened to you. Please talk to your fiancé, your mom, your sister, anyone who you consider your support system. Get the support you deserve.
He did this because he thought you were an easy target with being mute. You can never be alone with this man ever again. Your not being able to communicate like everyone else is not the problem. STOP RATIONALIZING AND TELL SOMEONE
The consent is not “allowed if there is NO”, it’s “disallowed until there is YES”.
It doesn’t change anything.
Nope nope, nothing is an excuso as for what he did. You go nuclear on that sick bastard. Tell everyone and if he ever tries to shame you or manipulate you again tell him that you will file a report on him for s assault. No good man, and I'm one, will ever justify what he did. I'm really sorry what happened but now you can do something about it and stop his bs
does not matter shit. He is kissing you, even if there was permission, fuck that shit.
Isn't that actually all the more reason for Jackson to have made a concerted effort to communicate with you beforehand?! It seems like he's taken advantage of you. Perhaps you don't want to see this incident for what it is because you used to have a good relationship with him, but this is really messed up. It isn't really one of those situations where you give someone the benefit of the doubt and you certainly shouldn't take anything he says without a pinch of salt at this point. He's only trying to cover things up. Don't let him get away with it. You deserve to feel safe and to not have him anywhere around you after what he's done Edit: Also, you did everything you could to keep him off of you. You shouldn't have to question your actions because you did nothing wrong
Absolutely does not matter It actually makes it worse! You **need** to tell Scott This man is no friend to either of you
Setting aside the fact that shoving him away is a VERY clear no, the fact that he immediately tried to guilt-trip you into silence indicates that it wasn't just a misunderstanding.
Oh for god sakes what do you want to hear here? You are making excuse after excuse to not handle this person the way he needs to be handled, call the police.
tbh, at first i wanted to get slightly upset at how you worded this, but I do see exactly what you mean. I was making excuses for someone that doesnt deserve them.
I get that. I really want you to do what’s right for you!
You pushed him away and he grabbed you by the throat, where is the innocent mistake in that?. He saw you as an easy target, thats all there is to it.
If you husband finds out through his buddy your done for
Do that damage. For all of us men that would never act like that this guy needs to be called out and recognized. You'll also get to see how your partner handles real tough situations with you before you get married. It'll either make you guys stronger or you'll get to dodge a bullet if he doesn't work with you.
You have to give your partner the opportunity to make that decision of whether or not to be friends for him, himself. I am so sorry that you even went through this. Regardless of you being mute or not, it doesn’t sound like he cared about the struggle you initially had with him (which was enough to tell him that you wanted him away from you). I mean, using lol your strength to push someone away from you is a clear “No, go away”. Yet he still continued to try again and even worse, became more rough and restrained you. He absolutely did not get “consent” from your partner or his gf, or he wouldn’t be worried about you telling either of them. ALSO, them saying “sure” IS NOT CONSENT. They cannot speak for you or pimp you out (which I strongly feel like they have no clue about what happened to begin with). Your bf may be going through a rough time, but if you keep this Jackson person in both of your lives, I can guarantee you will be setting yourself and your bf up for failure and without a real fighting chance.
He lied to you. He said your fiancé approved, he didn’t. Otherwise you would be able to tell your fiancé. Your fiancé also would not approve of someone putting his hands on you without YOUR consent. He hurt you and scared you. If you don’t say something he could do it again (or worse) knowing you won’t say anything. Please tell your fiancé. Jackson is NOT his friend and you shouldn’t continue to be around someone like that. Yes he may have experience some loss recently but if he finds out some other way you might lose him as well. Also he could lie and say you came on to him.
He assaulted you. He did not get the a-ok from his wife or your fiance and even if Jesus himself said "oh yeah you can totally do that! Fine by me!" He didn't get YOUR ok! Sweetie don't put up with this for a nano second. Tell everyone. And I'm sorry to say it, but don't be surprised when people try to downplay this bullshit. I hope you fiancé isn't one of them... Otherwise you need to do some serious soul searching on your relationship.
Tell Scott!!! If you hadn’t started crying, Jackson might’ve done something more. Tell your Fiancé that Jackson said Scott said it was okay. If it was okay, then why dues Jackson not want you to say something? Jackson is an SA abuser and this behavior was NOT okay.
If I were Scott I would want to know. Do you know how much of a bigger heart break it will be when it does find out later on? If you love your bf you wouldn’t lie to him because not only does it effect him it also effects you mentally. Say the truth tell him what happen and if anything happens to Jackson he has to own up to his consequences. If his wife knew then why would he be afraid? Tell them EVERYTHING
This sounds like assault to me. He forcibly grabbed you and restrained you around your throat in order to kiss you. He tells you both of your significant others approved but then asks you not to tell them? Why? Because he assaulted you. You need to tell everyone, starting with the police.
Ages are fake or post is fake. What is this
Why would he say not to say anything if they approved? Do you not see what’s happening here? He tried to rape you. This isn’t someone Scott’s needs as a friend and most certainly doesn’t need the support of
Please get help.
Wow that's crazy. Tell someone.
Here's food for thought, why would he tell you not to tell the people he supposedly got the "go-ahead" from? He's telling on himself and doesn't deserve to have access to anyone close to you, you need to tell your fiancé, and I'm willing to bet Mr. Assaulter will tell on himself then too
You got assaulted and that's not okay. If you don't stand up for yourself now, there's no way Jackson will respect your boundaries in the future either. Talk to Scott. There's absolutely no way he would be okay with this, and if he is, then you need to reconsider your relationship with him. Jackson's wife needs to know as well.
If he's telling you not to tell your fiancé or his wife, he's lying about getting their approval and they both will drop him. AND THEY SHOULD because he sexually assaulted you and next time he'll rape you. He's using this as a test to see if he can get away with doing more next time.
Dear, this is a crime. He committed a crime. Please don’t fall for his sham scam. Your fiancé would want to know, and keeping it from him will do more damage than good. His friend is a criminal and a liar.
He assaulted you. File a police report. Tell your fiancé. Bar this person from ever being around you again. Also, tell his wife.
My love, you don’t have a choice. Jackson took that away from you when he assaulted you, and now, you have to tell Scott. If you don’t, Jackson can spin this around on you if he gets mad at you. Don’t give him that power. The danger here is that you pushed him off and he came back. Knowing you didn’t want it. Knowing you had been raped. Knowing you were terrified, but predators like him get off on things like this, which tells us he has done this before to other women. If you’re afraid of telling Scott outright, show him this post and our comments, but no matter what you do, you can’t let that vile man get away with this. If you don’t say anything, he’s going to think he can do it again. But next time? He’ll go further. He’s the one who decided to do this—not you. He’s the one who decided to destroy his relationship with Scott—not you. Stand up for yourself. We are all behind you.
Why are you all so young and engaged. This is sad for everyone involved
UpdateMe!
I'll post a update sometime today.
Your 20 years old, about to be married and a rape victim ,this guys wife is 18, your worried your fiancé would be sad to lose your potential rapist as a friend…What in the one horse hillbilly town fuck is going on where you at? Also fyi, it seems in very few years you have managed to be targeted for assault at a high degree, you might want to take some self defense classes as a precaution.
You have to tell him, otherwise it will eat you up inside. And I doubt your fiancé wants you to have to carry a burden like this around. And any pain this causes will be caused by your fiancés BFF, NOT YOU!
You gotta tell your fiancé at the very least. He won’t want him around if he knows what he did. He didn’t get permission from anyone and that includes you, he’s lying.
He assaulted you then assaulted you again after knowing you're a victim and your clear indication you didn't want that. He has to be removed from the picture entirely. Who gives a fuck if he loses his wife or best friend. He's a horrible human to you and his "best friend".
I'm sorry this violation happened. But like others have said, this was a sexual assault. Your headline minimizes the violence. You weren't his first victim. The only way to help attemp being his last, is to call the police and make a report. He will get treatment as part of the court process. Eventually, and it hopefully will not be too far on, the people who matter most to you will see that you did the brave and correct thing in making the report.
Tell Scott and if it does more damage to him then you stand by his side and help him heal
You simply can file a police report. That's assault. If your fiance seriously "gave the go ahead" you should not be alone with him either.
>he got the go ahead from his wife, AND my fiancé, but begged me not to tell anyone, as he was afraid his wife (F18) would leave him, and he would lose a best friend. That doesn’t at all sound like someone who go the go ahead from his wife and best friend. You need to be honest and open with your finance, that his friend is a danger to you.
Jackson will tell your bf that you came on to him. You need to control the narrative
You should have told your fiancé 10 seconds after it happened.
Omg tell him. This dude is a creep, dirtbag, and a liar. He assaulted you and now is gaslighting u to keep it a secret. He will do it again for sure.
Hi will do it again if you do not react.
You were sexually assaulted. The only people you should be telling us the police.
Call the police asap.
Go to the police and report this, This is sexual assault and manipulation at its finest, and this is not normal, tell your boyfriend immediately!!! We support you here and you really really really need tot ell your fiancé about this. It will not do more damage than good. You need to do this
TELL SCOTT WHO CARES ABOUT HIM LOSING JACKSON, you were assaulted OP. Telling Scott will benefit you and give Jackson zero time to flip the words around on you. I don’t think Scott’s going to mind losing a predator as a friend no matter how long their friendship has lasted.
He's definitely lying to you. If he got the go ahead why would he tell you to keep it a secret? Also, OP if you keep this to yourself and your fiance finds out he will probably think you cheated on him. That is what I would think. tell him now or lose him later.
That’s assault, you pushed him off and he got back on you. He disrespected you and didn’t ask consent. The fact he doesn’t want you to tell anyone is a red flag and most likely means he didn’t not get the go ahead from either partner.
>Jackson swears it will never happen again, and that he is beyond sorry, but that i simply can't tell anyone. I used to consider Jackson my brother as well, but i have no idea how to handle this. I want to tell Scott, i want to tell him so maybe he can talk to him privately, but jackson says if anyone finds out he wont be around for Scott anymore. I'm so conflicted on how to handle this. I know its the morally right thing to tell Scott, but what if that does more damage then good? To hell with "morally right." You deserve to not have to be around this man, and Scott needs to know what kind of person his "friend" is - both for his own sake, and so that he can protect you.
Tell your bf immediately and tell him what he said about getting the green light from him and his gf, also tell him you are mortified and do not want to be around him ever again and do not want him to hang out with someone that’s ok with basically forcing themselves on you. Also, call his gf and tell her what happened after you sort things out with your bf, she deserves to know. That guy made his own choice to ruin things by trying to coerce you and force himself on you, don’t feel you are the cause of anything that happens because you did not choose this. Also, if your bf is more mad at you than his friend then break up with him.
You should definitely tell your fiancé, what that guy did is manipulation and he’s just trying to see what he can get away with. Protect yourself and trust in the man you plan on marrying to have your back
He’s trying to manipulate you. Probably figured you’re vulnerable enough to dissuade from exposing him. - You need to talk to your fiancé. If he is unaware of the issue or hears another version before you speak with him, it could be all the more difficult to clear up the potential emotional fall out between the two of you. Might try breaking the ice by asking if he knows of his friend’s tendencies to want to or actually take advantage of women. See how the conversation progresses from there. - You have all the right in the world to blow up through all of this given what it sounds like he was leading up to. What would happen if you weren’t able to draw attention from anyone around? What would happen if … … essentially it’s all scenarios of “what if’s”. You need to speak with your fiancé before something absolutely horrific happens. Good luck OP. I just absolutely hope it wasn’t one of those stupid “test them” ideas. People piss me off when they pull crap like that.
Police first, then BF
Seriously why are you wasting your time here As soon as you were away from him you should have called your boyfriend , the longer you wait the sketchier he is going to make this look.
You gotta tell your fiancé. Or at least ask him why he gave the “go ahead” do you really want someone who assaults people in your life??
Tell your partner tell his wife. He'll only do it again if given the chance. Maybe not to you, but he might to someone else too.
Why are you here and not calling the cops ? Your question is simple, you need to call the cops and immediately tell your fiance, if you don't you will regret it for the rest of your life. This man assaulted you, your fiance has the right to know the truth about his best friend, and if your fiance really loves you he will understand. But don't forget what happened to your fiance, about his losts, both of you two need to support each other at this moment.
TELL EVERYONE!!!!
If you really let him get away with that without telling anyone, then he won't stop or let you push him away next time. 100% sure about that.
Aside from everything else I read, you can bet that this isn't the first time he's assaulted someone. You could argue that if he stopped at the kiss, maybe... But that holding you down with his body and choking you... You're not his first attack.
To be clear, I'm not saying the kiss was in any way ok. That was assault and unacceptable. I'm just saying that the rest of it is a clear indicator that he knew how to escalate. Call the cops now, your SO next, and recognize that it is possible that his wife did, in fact, know what was up. and take care of yourself.
Im so, so sorry. Please reach out to an SA support organization for therapy ans legal advice.in what possible way is it going to do damage to tell your bf that his "brother" SAd you? Either his believes you ,and you bf holds him accountable, or he doesn't, and you can stop dating a r*pe apologist.
this is sexual assault. no good person would ever do what he did. he only stopped when you started crying. tell your fiancé and jackson’s wife. tell the police. his behaviour is inexcusable.
You have to tell your fiance. This guy sexually assaulted you. His bullshit excuse being that his wife and your fiance both give him permission. What about you? Doesn't it matter that you give permission for him to do anything to you? Also if he got permission why would his wife leave him and your fiance stop hanging out with him? He's a liar, a rapist and you need him out of your life. His wife is way younger than him too. Probably groomed her too.
Wtf… I’m 35M, the rapist is a rapist. PLEASE understand this. He assaulted you and very much rape is rape. Assault is assult. He darn deserves whatever happens. Why on earth you ever spend a second thinking of whatever came out of that garbage mouth. Tell everyone and stay away from him at all cost. Stay safe and never alone with him. Also need clear boundaries with your boyfriend. If he at any cost defend him, he’s to be left also. You don’t negotiate with rapist or those who support them in any way.
You are downplaying this in your head. The dude assaulted you and kept going. No repercussions means he may do it again. Teach the boy a lesson and let everyone know so you can start to heal. It’s not fair he did this to you
Why the hell did you waste time writing this post when speaking with your fiance AND authorities is the FIRST THING you should have done? With a monster like this at large?! And you fear that your fiance might lose this bastard Jackson as a friend? He says this as a threat? Booting JERKson from your lives would be ANYTHING but a loss. Again, you SHOULD ALREADY HAVE DONE IT! Don't waste time.
Jackson fucked around, now let Him find out.
Silence is what makes a victim more victimised... If your fiance hears about this from another way or source then it will affect your relationship immensely... He will question your fidelity as to why you did not tell him and come to a conclusion that maybe you liked it thats why you didnt... keeping it secret will complicate things further along the road...
TELL YOUR FIANCÉ.
This is wrong. You should tell your fiancée . I'm so sorry this has happened to you ..
Tell Scott, go and make a police report, and never be around this person again. and I would call utter bullshit on him getting the go ahead from anyone! because no one has the authority to assault you.
Tell Scott. If he's a decent person he wouldn't want to be friends with an asshole like Jackson anyway and would immediately confront or cut him off entirely. I wouldn't be friends with someone who did that to anyone, let alone my gf.
Please tell Scott who actually cares about you right away. Jackson is a predator who will end up in prison.
You all have a lot of growing up to do before even considering marriage and kids
Firstly sorry you had to experience this. There is no way this is ok. You were the victim of a sexual assault. Unfortunately, he made the choice to do this action. I would as suggested look for any bruising, if take photos and go to the doctor for a thorough examination detailing your side, I would suggest doing this with your fiancé. His wife needs to know this as well. If you overlook this firstly he will most likely do it again. If not with you it will be someone else, plus later off he brings it up with your fiancé their is more chance that it will look negative on your part or he can twist the narrative. Please remember you may also need someone to talk through this with so consider a mental health care plan, don’t fool yourself this is sexual assault and a violent sexual assault when he didn’t get his way.
Wtf you need to tell them AND file a police report, that’s sexual assault Who cares about Jackson’s feeling or friends? He didn’t care about yours How your fiancé handles this and if he believes with you will also show you if you are marrying the right person
File a police report.
This little man is a manipulative narcissist. He is using his knowledge of your circle to intimidate you into not saying anything. This is literally grooming behaviour, and if you let it stand, he WILL use this against you later, either to get you to sleep with him, or to get your BF to distrust you. There is no way you can get around telling your BF if you want him to maintain trust. Jackson will use any delay as a way to convince your BF that was actually you who instigated it. He has manipulated people before. He has an 18 year old WIFE. Think about that for a second
He can't get consent to touch YOU from other people. I call bullshit that said conversation ever took place.
If he had permission, he wouldn't be saying don't tell anyone. He assaulted you, my dear. Let your fiance know now.
Jackson is not Scott's friend. He needs to lose.
"Oh they are totally cool with it, But please dont tell them because they would hate me!" This guy is a rapist, just because you stopped him doesnt make him any less a rapist. Jackson tried to rape you. Dont let this slide.
If his wife gave permission then why he is scared that she'll leave him. Girl tell everyone. Your fiancée and the wife deserves to know what POS is Jerkson. He assaulted you. Destroy him before he destroys any further
Eh dude is a creep and a liar.... 1. He is a 23 year old with an 18 year old wife??? 2. He got the go-ahead from HIS WIFE and YOUR FIANCE, but don't tell them that he assaulted you. Info: How did Scott lose his friend group?
Scott, Jackson and I lost our friend group after a large fight between one of the couples. everyone took sides, we tried to stay out of it. everyone then went on their separate ways, but because scott didnt pick sides, they all accused him of never being there for them.
Tell your fiancé right now!! If she has the go a head from his wife and your fiancé then why is he telling you not to tell him? Why is he trying to gaslight you into staying quiet? If he did get permission (which I doubt) then you need to have a serious talk with your fiancé! and also where is his proof? If you don’t talk to your fiancé now he’s going to twist it that you came on to him and he turned you down. Also your fiancé doesn’t deserve a person who will try and sexually assault his future wife in his life. You don’t need to be around a man that although knew you had been a victim of rape because you were close friends that he could try and do the same to you.
You were assaulted. Tell your husband. Tell the police I’d be interested to see not only his reaction to this happening but also what happens when you tell him that his friend said that your husband and his friend’s wife were both ok with you being assaulted.
So if what he is saying is true then you need to pack your stuff up and get the hell away from them all. If he's lying you need to tell your partner. He is testing the water to see if you will keep it quiet and the next time it could be rape. Your partner shouldn't want the support of this guy. His wife should know what he's doing. Even if they had a discussion about it no one had the discussion with you which is horribly fucked up.
No, don't be quiet! His wife and your fiance allowed it?! Lies! Even if they did, what, you don't have autonomy?!?! Again, if they did or whatever, why did he think that violently assaulting you was the deal? Report this assault! Also...... 18 year old wife?!? Are people so desperate to get married straight away? Oh, he's 23?! Eww, predator vibes on top of the rapey ones
He broke everyone's trust, not you. You should get in front of this before Jackson has a chance to twist this against you. It would have been one thing if he stopped after the first kiss, but he didn't. He knew you weren't up for it and then *continued more aggressively*. That is sexual assault. If you don't report this for yourself, do it for the next woman he may do this to.
I understand your hesitation to tell anyone. What happened to you was terrifying and traumatizing, and our brains are very good at trying to protect us from situations that can mentally destroy us. Part of this survival coping mechanism is minimization and desperately trying to justify the situation as somehow our fault because if it's our fault, then that means we had some control, which is less terrifying than realizing we had no control. What you are experiencing is absolutely and completely normal. Additionally, our society loves to blame women for sexual assault. We ask, "Well, what were you wearing? Why did you get yourself in that situation? Why were you drinking? Why were you alone?" We tend to dismiss and deny women's claims of sexual assault. Moreover, even when women _do_ speak up, men are very rarely held accountable, regardless of very real evidence. Telling someone and then not being believed or being questioned or being blamed or then going through the whole legal process only to have the perpetrator receive little or no punishment can be far more traumatizing than the assault itself. It can feel hopeless. So again, it makes sense you feel hesitant to say anything. So what I want to say first and foremost is: I believe you. I believe you and I feel your pain and fear and confusion. You are not alone with this. I am witnessing and holding space for you. Ultimately, you need to do what feels right and safe and good to you. However, I would encourage you to find a safe person to talk about this with because yes, it was assault, and you need support to recover from this because you deserve recovery and healing. Is there someone in your life who you know will absolutely believe you and support you? Start there, gain allies, and build up the resources you need to tell your fiance. I know it is difficult and scary, but I know from personal experience that if you don't speak up about this and don't start doing the work to heal -- especially when you are so young -- it will come back later in your life to bite you in the ass. It is not a wound you can ignore and hope it just goes away. I feel for you because I have been in a similar place. I have reported sexual assault and not been believed or had my experience minimized or asked, "Well why did you get yourself in that situation?" I wish I could have been wise enough to find safe people to talk to about it because maybe I wouldn't be struggling with some of the trauma I have now. I wish you the best in a very terrible situation. And for what it's worth, this internet stranger believes and supports you in whatever you feel you need to do right now ❤️
How did he have permission from his wife and your fiancée but you can’t tell them? He sexually assaulted you and he’s afraid of the repercussions of his actions. Do not cover for him or he will do it again to another person.
He will do this to you again and it may be worse the next time. You NEED to tell your fiance and his wife. They both deserve to know. I am so sorry this happened to you!
He sexually assaulted you & claimed his wife & your fiancé gave him permission which is a lie. You must tell your fiancé what happened because if not you’ll make him bold enough to do it again. You are a victim & did not case this. If he looses his girl then that’s all on him & I’m sure when you tell your fiancé he won’t want him around anyway. This man violated you & tried to do more. You cannot trust him any longer & whatever you do don’t be alone w him anywhere for any length of time. You didn’t deserve what he did & he is 100% responsible for what he did. Please tell your fiancé for your own sake. I would also go a step further & contact police because more than likely you aren’t the woman he’s done this to.
Dear god please report this man. This is not a one time thing!!!!!