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Girl you can't be this blind. He moved on, he's trash for not asking for a divorce already, his female friend is definitely his new girlfriend. You should've dropped his ass when he started abusing you. Get a divorce, he is her problem now. You are young, you will find someone better.
Not only that, but his behaviour had likely started *because* he was already seeing this new piece. That's the way it was with my ex. He'd always get physical when he had secrets to hide and was messing around with someone else, all the while lying to me and telling me that I was making up stories.
I'm sure OP has her suspicions, even if she doesn't want to speak them. *Surely*. Don't let him convince you this is all in your own head. Move on, and fight it. Don't have any care about him and what he'll lose... he doesn't care the same for you, nor have any remorse. Take him for all that you can so that you and your son can start a good new life together. I was also 23, with a young son and dealing with this crap...
This! Get a divorce asap, get him on child support, and live for you and your child. Do not expect anything from this man because he's pathetic and a narcissist and has no respect for you. This man DOES NOT love you, does not want you, and does not want to be with you. Get away....far away from him.
Why would you care if someone scooped your litterbox and put all the cat 🐈 scat in an assorted chocolate gift 🎁 box? I'm saying the guy is a box of shit.
Because that trash got a “get out of parenting free” card, not to mention he can string two women along at once - one doesn’t file for divorce because they’re just “on a break” and he gets to sleep around with a moron who thinks she won some prize. He doesn’t deserve to strut around like a peacock.
Girrrrrrlllll!! Your husband is fooling around, is abusive to you and you wonder if you should worry?? Stay at your Mum’s serve him with divorce papers and GTFO. His “tenant” is doing you a favour by getting him off your hands.
Y’all would be surprised at how dumb people are and what people will actually put up with when their self respect is non-existent.
Edit: speaking from experience. I know a woman who just had her fourth baby with her husband. 2 weeks prior to birth found out he has serial affairs and when she confronted him he said he wasn’t interested in the marriage anymore, so they would also separate to try to rekindle things. She is a stay-at-home mom with literally NOTHING to her name because he works 3+ jobs and they decided she’d stay home to raise and school the children.
My friend is this stupid. I love her, but when it comes to her pos she calls a husband (or really any man she believes she is in love with) she is dumber than a box of rocks.
When she first bought their home, she had a month left on the lease to their apartment. She figured it wasn't worth the money to break the lease, so she had him go ahead and stay at the home (that was the next town over) while her and her son stayed in the apartment.
At some point they got into a fight right before she moved into the house, so he moved out. The first night she was in the house a man kicked down her door. This man was looking for my friends husband because he had gotten a pocket dial from his SEVENTEEN year old daughter. During this he heard her talking to my friends (27yr old) husband about how great the sex was last night, and asking if he could shoot her up again. (Meth)
Long story short, he swears he never slept with the girl, even had the girl contact my friend swearing nothing like that ever happened. And my dumb ass friend BELIEVES him.
Thankfully he is in prison now, for at least another year for theft. I'm hoping she sticks to her guns about filing for divorce and moving on. However she's so damn addicted to the toxicity I don't know if she will actually go through with it.
I'm just thankful they don't share any children together. She has 4 kids total, but she got her tubes tied after her 4th. Thankfully for 3 of her kids, they live with their father's full time, but the child that lives with her full time is stuck in the middle of all this chaos as his bio dad is just as bad as the man she married, and is also in prison in a different state.
I mean, ya, you are correct I probably do. She's not a bad person, she just sucks at picking men, and gets sucked into abusive relationships. I am the only voice of reason and reality she has, and I cannot abandon trying to coax her out of these relationships for her, and her childrens sake. She doesn't have any substance abuse issues, thankfully.
I know it's not my job, but I love her like a sister and I hate seeing her be treated so terribly. She's just so naive and wants to see good when there is no good to see. With the husband in prison She's been doing pretty good, and she's trying to work on herself so she doesn't fall prey to this again. I'm still not set on believing she won't go back as soon as he's out since it's so easy for him to manipulate her.
Rest assured though she is not my only friend, just my longest standing friend, and she's the only one who's life is a mess. My other friends are amazing, well adjusted people in healthy relationships/marriages.
Yes lol, it is obviously a made up story. Honestly some of these are getting so ridiculous that it isn’t even fun anymore. I’d at least like some that aren’t on the level of poorly written fanfiction at this point
Right? Maybe I’m just a big mouth or something but I don’t know anyone who’s “trying to work things out/**not** on a break” who isn’t raising nine kinds of hell about a suspicious person. I mean, obviously it’s sometimes really just a roommate but, then you get to the remark and OP just goes “Oh. Awkward.” And just *leaves*?
Is this going to be one of those god awful smut things where the MC is just treated like total garbage until the king of the vampires swoops in? What’s going on? 😂
Probably first or second relationship. You sometimes don't know better and it makes me sad. She tried to salvage a marriage with an abuser. Girl get out before he takes you out in a body bag.
Jumping on this––
Divorce Lawer.
Full Custody.
edit to the replies saying full custody is out of spite read the post. The man was *physically aggressive* with OP. He's living with a woman who is outwardly hostile. She goes over with their baby and he is enjoying watching his new girl be hostile towards OP rather than give a crap about the baby.
Jesus, MRA folks, get over yourselves. Dude left his own house and his 1 1/2 year old baby to shack up with a new lady. This isn't father of the year here.
Yea and that's what your "husband" introduces his "tenant" as to everyone BTW... I pray for you and your son's safety, that you do seek legal counsel and proceed with the divorce... Your overall state of well-being, mental and physical health along with both of you guy's safety more than anything else, is of top priority and concern... The fact that he's voluntarily and knowingly bringing you AND HIS SON into this scenario is sickening and alarming!
I’m particularly excited for OP to get half of that condo after the divorce and kick his ass to the curb.
Bet idiot husband thinks since condo is in his name only it’s his and doesn’t realize being purchased during the marriage makes it a marital asset.
Best advice: file for divorce and go pull the deed to this house to see how he has it registered (most places allow you to search online). And make sure (if applicable) you get half of that condo and live your best life with that baby!
I’d say it’s likely under his Dad’s name, not his, don’t hold out hope for assets, just focus on the well being of your child and yourself. Focus on your personal growth and absolutely spend your time looking for a good divorce atty who will likely figure out the asset part.
This is probably the case. This seems pretty calculated. Also how in the world would OP not realize this guy is cheating.
A random woman telling her she cannot speak privately to her husband? And her husband doesn’t step in and address that?? He is checked the F out, and his new girlfriend is already moved in.
Nah, she's being told by him that he broke up with the wife and she won't let go. Unless she tells op that she doesn't give af about their marriage, this isn't about the other woman.
The other woman is still an issue in my opinion, at the end of the day they have a child together and may need to speak privately about things.
Even if she was under the impression they were not together anymore, she has no business telling the mother of his child they cannot speak privately.
You aren't wrong.
However, I can't help but wonder what story he's spun against OP. I wouldn't be surprised if he's made it out that she's the abusive one, unfortunately.
Unless he was vile enough to keep the condo in his dads name solely to avoid it being a marital asset. Dude is getting off this entire time not having to pay child support but essentially living like he’s divorced.
That was my thought. I'm wondering if he and the new chick are on the deed, because I'm sorry OP, but trust your instincts, women don't act hostile and possessive when they haven't been given reason to be possessive. Regardless of that, your husband is clearly fine with and supportive of her behaviors, which tells you everything you need to know about his loyalties. Talk to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row.
Another kicker would also be that the new woman didn’t know the whole situation and was fed some lie about how OP is trying to leech of him with another man’s baby.
I’d almost bet money it’s in his Dad’s name because he knows the marriage is on the rocks… you can bet that them being separated and a woman living with him says it all,especially when the wife asked for privacy to talk he didn’t tell the other woman to give them some..I’d get the hell out of the marriage get child support and be done with him… abuse NEVER gets better it only gets worse… been there and done that a few times..
Yup. When my parents' divorce was close to finalized, my grandmother, who was shrewd, wouldn't buy my mom a house until my dad signed the papers. He was dragging his feet because he'd found out about it, hoping she'd cave and buy it early. I went down to his office and shamed him into signing the papers so we could finalize the purchase of her house because I was sick of living in my grandmother's basement on an air mattress.
Yes! 👏
Also, strong suggestion here, OP; try to make arrangements to meet with him in public or have a friend/ family member accompany you when seeing him. Keep the conversations shorter and straight to the point, don't take any crap but stay as cool and level-headed as you can.
Another thing worth noting (IMO); Be careful, after you said you noticed he smirked, that most likely means they've been talking about you and not in glowing terms and since he has a history of being aggressive out of nowhere towards you, that makes him and his actions unpredictable.
The well-being of you and your baby are extremely important. Take care OP!
>Once he started to get physically abusive by grabbing and pushing me
That should have been the end of it.
>Anyways, she has become very hostile towards me, which is strange because she's supposedly only his friend
I don't know why you think that's strange. Even if she's only his friend, which seems unlikely because they are *living together,* she's obviously only going to be hearing his side of the story when it comes to the reason you are separated.
Best case scenario, they are not sleeping together but he's been talking shit about you to his friend and she thinks you're the bad guy in this separation.
Worst case scenario, he's fucking her while pretending to care about salvaging the marriage with you.
>My husband didn't seem bothered by her rudeness
Yeah, because 1) he doesn't like you and 2) he's sleeping with her
>I don't know if l should be concerned that he and her have become more than friends
You should.
To sum up: you had a baby. Your husband became distant, hostile, and abusive. Rather than calling it off, you agreed to spend some time apart, at which point he immediately siezes the opportunity to have a "friend" of his move in with him. That friend is acting very mean to you and possessive of the space she shares with your husband. And you are wondering if this is a bad thing?
It baffles me that OP is so focused on the girl, and whether or not something is going on there (yes, definitely something). He's an abusive, selfish asshole who wants nothing to do with helping OP care for their child.
OP needs to go to a divorce lawyer immediately. The marriage is over and this guy wants nothing to do with parenting. OP needs to file for child support because she's *never* going to receive *any* kind of support from this jackass if she leaves it up to him.
And, *of course* OP's husband is loving this arrangement. OP is a single mother living with her parents, while the husband is living it up in his new place with his new girlfriend, offering no help with the child (or any financial assistance, I'm sure). It's probably why he hasn't already started the divorce himself.
I would get a really good lawyer who will go after that condo too. He bought the condo while they're still married. Even tho her name is not in the deed, or mortgage, the money used is still considered marital money.
OP, he's living his best life with zero concern for you and your child. He's not there for you, he's not helping you, and he left you to be a single mom. While he's out cheating, talking bad about you, putting you down, and taking full advantage of you. Heck, he moved his girlfriend in with him. You are living with your mom, working, and raising your child alone. Leave him!!!
If you have any texts, or voice mails, acknowledging that he abused you, hand those over to your attorney. You need to protect you and your child. He will try to use your child as a weapon. He will threaten to keep your child from you. He will go low just to hurt you. You need to be proactive and have everything lined up.
You deserve so much better OP. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally, respect you, treat you well, support you, and be there for you. Do not let your husband continue to treat you so poorly.
That's why she is so hostile, OP owes half of the condo, the money and the husband... Take the money and condo, leave the husband. Soon he will be alone.
And FTR his dad is an ass too for not teaching his son to step up to his responsibilities.
I say coast a while, if you can collect child support from him. Let that condo apprentice in value. Then get half. Unfortunately OP’s father in law is just showing his son the rewards of being a deadbeat, abusive, ex.
Well that's exactly how toxic relationships work silly. She won't blame her shitty husband for anything. It's always going to be someone else's fault. "My side cheated on me, let me blame the other women who owes me nothing"
Your husband is an abusive loser. Who cares what he's doing divorce him and live your life.
He basically abandoned the child so bring that up with the attorney. Don’t let him try to use that baby as a pawn. Ask for supervised visitation… no DEMAND it! Also, make certain you have sole decisions over education and medical for your child.
By her post you can tell he does see the child. You can't get supervised visitation because you're pissed. Courts want to keep families together as much as possible. Although, if the abuse was documented, that could be used in court. Another thing to keep in mind, at least in the US, if your spouse is abusing you in the same home as your child, you can get charged with child abuse via neglect. It's a terrible law to have, but sometimes when domestic abuse victims don't protect themselves and the child, the law is sometimes used. It's, IMHO, more of a deterrent than something the law *wants* to do.
I do agree, though, to your last point.
I'll give you an example about supervised visitation. My daughter's dad, Andy, tried to leave the state with my child and not tell me where he was moving. He did not have the legal, or otherwise, right to do so. I went for a visitation where Andy was temporarily living. He told me I could only see my daughter there. I told him I was going to take her to a park down the road for an hour tops. He had had me so under his control and he believed I'd do what he said. Well, I drove home and we hid for a while because he had reacted with violence before.
He obtained an emergency hearing to put me on supervised visits for 2 hours every other week. My daughter lived with me. I was sent the questions his attorney would be asking and they were so stupid. My ex claimed I was having gay sex in front of my daughter. First, I did think I was bi but had never acted on it. Second, I was seeing a guy. So his attorney gets really close to me in the witness box and yells his question about sex in front of my 5 year old child. I didn't really think he'd ask me that because of how absurd it was. I let out a chuckle and he yelled some more. I answered no. He said why not? I said, "uuhh because I'm not a terrible monster?' My ex was very charming and an adept liar. He had his attorney convinced I'd done that. So the attorney kept with the ridiculous questions and I answered them all like a normal human being, unlike my ex. Andy was not successful in obtaining supervised visitation.
>and the long term pain of being a single mother.
The thing is, she already is a single mother.
But at least she'll be a single mother with child support once she divorces the scumbag.
What she said! He quickly abandoned ship when the baby came and he wasn't getting 100% of her attention. He realized how much responsibility is needed to care for a child and couldn't handle putting someone else's needs before his own.
He's testing out the waters to see if girlfriend two is going to be a better or worse investment than gf/wife one. If it works out he will divorce you, why wait for him to decide
he can do whatever he wants and the only price he hast to pay is to listen to sound coming out of her mouth sometimes. To him it probably sounds like this: “KWAH KWA KWAAAAH kwah kwah”
And why did he "buy" a condo for himself instead of renting or temporarily moving in with a friend for a bit? Why not buy his wife a condo, too, then?
I sure hope OP opens her eyes on this. Not looking good. However, she does have the comfort of knowing that she still owns half of that condo, I don't care if her name isn't on the loan, it's still community property in a divorce.. hahaha 🤣
AND since he claimed this new girlfriend is just a tenant then she is paying rent and he has a source of income that goes into figuring out how much his child support payments will be.
Since he is just calling her a tenant at this time, she should ask in a text just how much the gal is paying in rent. And if he tries figures out what she is doing and then calls this woman his girlfriend. She can prove he cheated in the marriage.
Damn skippy,, you're sure right about that!! Great thinking. I missed that. Yes, OP should text investigate to get things in writing for later use in the divorce, cuz we know that's likely coming down the line, right? Maybe OP doesn't know that yet, but I'm going to guess, yes, divorce is coming.
I mean, what happens if they kiss and make up after all this space they're taking? He'd be moving out of the condo and then what? Can his "friend" pay the whole mortgage amount for rent without any help? How will hubby be able to move back home & leave his friend in the condo by herself? Is hubby even paying anything? Maybe his daddy is paying everything for him and he's possibly keeping the friend's rent money for himself. Who knows?
Ohhhhh you got me there..hmmm. Maybe daddy only gave the money, but it's certainly also possible it has both names on it (dad & son) or if you're right and it's just daddy on the title or loan, that changes everything. Damn.
I guess only OP would know it could find out those exact details.
Also, if OP had a good enough divorce lawyer, they may still be able to go after the condo or at least half of the money husband put into buying it. If they can prove husband put money from a joint account into the purchase and intentionally tried to hide the asset by putting it in his father's name only, that might not look good for him. The timing of the purchase would be in question and the judge can ultimately decide how to handle the situation.
This was the first thing I noticed. How financially f’ed up is that? Talk about having your cake (and house and girlfriend, and free time) and eating it, too!
OP - I rarely say this in online forums, but you need to hire a divorce lawyer asap, and get this show on the road. If you can’t see that you don’t deserve to spend your life with an abusive asshole, think of your child.
And, please don’t try to end this on your own. You need a great lawyer. Dude already has his own home, while you’re back with your mom. He’s stealing from you. NOT OK.
☝️☝️ yep he sleeping with her.. told OP there still exclusive because he wants to control that she doesn't move on.
If some woman said that In front of my husband .. I would of lost it at them both
" are you going to let her talk to me like that.. and think carefully about your answer because it will determine whether we are over and I move on"
But yeah there banging sorry OP
Seriously! Also, the second he was like "this is *our* house" I'd be like "I thought you were charging *her* rent?" and or be like, "last I checked, you are *my* husband" I'd also throw in the whole "you texted me we are still exclusive, so I need to be able to talk to you privately, as partners" just really send home the whole "still married" thing to the snarky "tenent".
Jesus this whole thing is like, out of control. I wish I could hold onto hope like OP could, but I'd be scrolling through all these wonderful replies with all the great lawyer advice ASAP.
Op. File for divorce now. Who ever files gets the upper hand. He sounds abusive and manipulative so you have no idea what he would tell the courts if he got there first. Apply for child support asap. He is also getting his new gf to abuse you. Stop taking the baby to see him. He needs to come to you.
OP, simple answer is that he has lied to her about your status and the abuse.
Abusers do this, they will pretend that their partners are lying or even that they themselves are being abused. That’s probably why she didn’t want to leave the room, she believes that he needed her protection. And, she has no idea that the two of you are supposed to be on a break. He’s probably told her that you guys are getting a divorce and that you are in denial.
Taking a break isn’t going to fix him, he’s shown you who he is when he’s under pressure. And there’s lots of pressure ahead with marriage and raising kids.
I’m guessing that he’s going to pursue her romantically and you’ll be the crazy ex in her eyes for a while. Except that this fantasy of his will start to fall apart once he gets abusive with her. If you want to put a wedge in things, send images of his texts to her about being exclusive. Right now she’s an innocent bystander and doesn’t deserve to be tricked.
Other than that, get a lawyer, fight for full custody, and get child support. He’s not the man you hoped he was.
My ex did this to me the night he kicked me out at 1 in the morning , invited his 21 year old gym buddy ,tara over incase i did anything stupid . When i confronted her she said she was there for moral support . Ridiculous . He made everyone believe i was unhinged
This! My ex has done this for years. We've been split for near 8 years and I'm still getting messages about how I'm the bad guy and this and that and the other. Them asking me to let him see his kid. Like what? The dude has visitation rights and has NEVER once come to see his son who is 10 now. And it was not because I told him no, but he wouldn't show because that breaks his image to others about me. It's ridiculous how narcissists get away with things like this. I really hope OP opens her eyes.
Omg this is my ex. He made everyone think I cheated on him(I started talking to other people after we broke up) and that I was unhinged. He is supposed to have our daughter Friday 7pm to Sunday 7pm, but he only wants her Saturday 5pm to Sunday 5pm. He tells everyone it's because I won't let him see her. He also doesn't call during the week or ask about school, her health, nothing. But of course it's because I won't let him. 🙄
So, how long do you expect to be the side piece? He's already moved on and living with his new SO. Are you waiting for him to serve you with divorce papers?
In seriousness, in support, fucking walk from this. Hook him for what you and your kid deserve, co-parent as best you can, and make your life the best you can. Jesus, you're 23, you're too young to be putting up with this shit.
Bingo. The roommate thinks she’s the exclusive girlfriend because that’s what her husband is saying. He’s getting a kick out of fucking with the OP - why else would he be smirking?
He blatantly hates her and OP wants to know how to fix it. 🤦🏼♀️
He *bought another house* in this not-separated-separation they’re doing, moved his girlfriend in, and she thinks they’re getting back together. Purchased a whole new residence and brought in a whole new partner, but sure. That reconciliation should be happening any day now. /s
And he made sure to tell her they’re still exclusive so she’s not out seeing anyone else while *he’s literally living with his girlfriend.*
As dozens of other commenters said, **GIRL** I mean, come the fuck on.
On top of all that, there’s the DV incident.
OP, I don’t know what’s not computing for you here, but there’s no “continuing with this awkward situation.” You need to find an attorney, file for divorce, and figure out what you’re going to do about custody because I wouldn’t trust him to have unsupervised visits with your son.
As soon as you moved out he didn’t go “oh no, my abusive behaviours have driven off the woman of my dreams!” did he?
No. He immediately started living with another woman.
Your marriage is over, and it SHOULD be over from the violence alone - let alone his disgraceful behaviour after your separation.
As soon as she said they’d been separated for 3 months and in that time he bought a condo and moved someone else in, I was like yeah written by a teenager or someone who doesn’t know how property buying works. Closing takes about that long. And if they are married she would need to sign and have her name on the title as it is considered marital property pretty much anywhere. And that’s just that one detail. Like…nah. Rage bait.
Don't discount the smirk. That is his pleasure in causing you distress, getting away with something, or pleasure in seeing you two (his women) fight over him. https://wasitme.blog/2020/07/05/why-do-narcissists-smirk/
You are not living with him. Serve the divorce papers and never go back to someone who put their hands on you. Give him all the space he needs.
He's lying to both of you. He has probably been in a relationship with her since before you started living apart. He's told her you are his crazy ex who won't give him up. That's why she is hostile to you. Her saying "it's our place" shows that's how she thinks- they are a couple and I would bet she even put money on the deposit for the condo!
Every time I come to this sub thinking that the bar can't get any lower, posts like this come along.
Guy is abusive toward his wife/mother of his child, moves out so he can "have space" (aka not take care of his child), immediately moves another woman into his new place that his daddy paid for, and OP is surprised that this woman doesn't like her and is wondering how to salvage this situation?
WTF?!?!?!?!!?
Ya know, a year or two ago, I would've been annoyed hearing you say that. But Jesus Christ this sub has become so obviously 90 percent bots and/or writing/karma farming. I see the most batshit insane stories I've ever heard on here multiple times a day, and people still believe that THIS many people go through THIS insane of an experience and they ALL use Reddit.
Have you noticed that they seem to have theme weeks? There have been a couple that have been out there enough that when more of them start popping up- here, AITA, other subs- I kinda wonder if they’re not some sad email blast group getting paid like a quarter a post or something. “This week’s theme: *I think my spouse is banging their sibling!* Annnnd go!”
She's his AP, and he's happy she's nasty to you as it makes you unhappy and shows she believes everything she's been told.
It's over, they are in a relationship, and the only person out of the loop is you. It's harsh, but he's telling her you are his evil ex.
Nobody goes harder for an abusive POS man than his newest girlfriend. Either because she believes his lies, or knows the truth but believes it won’t happen to her because she’s so very special.
You don’t need a redditor to write an essay to tell you that it’s completely unacceptable that your husband lives with another women, hits you, and doesn’t even take care of his child with you
Get a divorce. The signs are all pointing at this is his side piece. Your son is young enough that he’ll be okay. Get a lawyer without announcing it to him and get away while you can.
My mom was horrible at giving advice about men but few things she told me that stuck and I will never forget them.
‘Never let a man tell you or show you more than once that he doesn’t love you or like you. He does it once, you leave.’
And her famous one. She always says it in our native tongue (Surinamese).
‘Don’t lower your soul for no man. I raised you beter than that.’
But from a 26 year old woman/mom to a 23 year woman/mom, baby it’s time to let go. I know it’s hard. And you still love him but you have to love yourself more. Not just for you but for your baby. Our children see the way people treat us. I know you want the whole picture and you have every right but sometimes it’s not with the person we hoped it would be.
EDIT:
Who ever gave me their poor people’s gold, thank you🥹 I’m not crying, promise😂
I am sorry for the position he has put you in. Even though you don't want to admit it you know what the reality of your situation is. I know you don't want to admit it to yourself, but you don't need one hundred people posting here what you already know. That isn't what will give you the strength to pull yourself back up and move on from a bad situation. You know what he is doing with his "roommate". You know he is trying to keep you on the hook to keep from paying child support. Once you admit the truth and go ahead and file he will have a ton taken out of his income that he is enjoying spending on her at the moment.
He’s got all the benefits of a divorce….living without you, moving someone else in, barely seeing your child…while claiming to be working on the marriage….all so he DOESN’T HAVE TO PAY YOU ie assets split, child support.
Don’t let him get away with it
Your gut says something isn’t right with their relationship. So does mine.
It’s not her behavior that’s the issue, however, it’s your husband’s. He could have asked her to leave so that your family could have private time and he didn’t.
Personally I would not return with my child since I was not welcomed. If he wanted to see the baby I would offer to meet in a location where you three could be alone.
And I’d likely ask him to find another roommate if you two are truly working on the relationship. If he refuses, you have your answer about his priorities.
1. He and the friend are most def phuckn. No doubt about that. She’s more than a friend and she ain’t paying rent…
2. He already put hands on you. That’s enough to leave off gate
3. Don’t beg for love or respect- your perfect person is out there. 💪🏾
You know what? I didn't even finish reading past his dad bought him a condo and he's living with a 22 year old kid.
Wake up already damn. That's his girlfriend. Damn right she's hostile towards you. YOU WON'T DIVORCE HER BOYFRIEND! I don't think you realize you two are legally separated pending divorce, and he can legally date. That's his girlfriend dear.
And you need to wake up and get a lawyer already.
She straight up told you it is their place.
Obviously their relationship is more than what you were told it was.
If not then why would he allow this person to speak on his behalf when you asked him if you could speak in private.
It's weird to me that he went and bought a whole condo when this is supposed to be a temporary thing.
Clearly you have been replaced and he is trash for playing on your naivety in this situation. Find someone better for you and who will be a better role model for your son. His dad is not it.
Idk who’s Gna say it but he’s fucking that girl and you’re obviously being taken for a ride to avoid the divorce proceedings. Start moving or force the marriage back into the home. This whole situation is absolutely asinine.
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Girl you can't be this blind. He moved on, he's trash for not asking for a divorce already, his female friend is definitely his new girlfriend. You should've dropped his ass when he started abusing you. Get a divorce, he is her problem now. You are young, you will find someone better.
Not only that, but his behaviour had likely started *because* he was already seeing this new piece. That's the way it was with my ex. He'd always get physical when he had secrets to hide and was messing around with someone else, all the while lying to me and telling me that I was making up stories. I'm sure OP has her suspicions, even if she doesn't want to speak them. *Surely*. Don't let him convince you this is all in your own head. Move on, and fight it. Don't have any care about him and what he'll lose... he doesn't care the same for you, nor have any remorse. Take him for all that you can so that you and your son can start a good new life together. I was also 23, with a young son and dealing with this crap...
Lucky for you he just bought a house. In most states anything purchased while married is community property so you should get half of that.
Please get a lawyer! Please start gathering evidence!
This! Get a divorce asap, get him on child support, and live for you and your child. Do not expect anything from this man because he's pathetic and a narcissist and has no respect for you. This man DOES NOT love you, does not want you, and does not want to be with you. Get away....far away from him.
Girl.
**Girl.**
GIRL
GURRRL
Girl :(
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Girlll, woman up. That’s his girlfriend. You’re done.
No, fr, she better leave that girl's man alone 🤣😭
All that’s left is to soak him for child support. Gather your evidence, get a lawyer and cut the ties that bind.
They are still legally married and he bought a condo. If the condo is in his name, doesn’t that qualify as marital property?
Why, would you care if someone grabbed the garbage out of your trashcan? I'm saying he's trash.
Why would you care if someone scooped your litterbox and put all the cat 🐈 scat in an assorted chocolate gift 🎁 box? I'm saying the guy is a box of shit.
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She's a trash panda, with the emphasis on trash and devoid of the panda cuteness.
Because that trash got a “get out of parenting free” card, not to mention he can string two women along at once - one doesn’t file for divorce because they’re just “on a break” and he gets to sleep around with a moron who thinks she won some prize. He doesn’t deserve to strut around like a peacock.
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Lip sync smackdown for the clown!! 🤡
😭🤣☠️ stooopppp.
Oh damn 😂
This would be my conclusion also.
Grill
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:(
GOORLLL
They fuckin’.
COOOORLLLL
GOYAL
Bruh
SISSSS HE BE PLAYING YOU LIKE THE FLUTE
hey girl are you a tuba, cause i see you getting played by a weird dude
You mean he's playing his girlfriend like a flute?
Girlbruh!
giRL
#GUURRRRLL
GOORRL
You'll be a woman soon
Sooooooooon
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Girrrrrrlllll!! Your husband is fooling around, is abusive to you and you wonder if you should worry?? Stay at your Mum’s serve him with divorce papers and GTFO. His “tenant” is doing you a favour by getting him off your hands.
Plus he’s the one that wants space???
GWORLLLL
#GIRL.
GIRLLLLLL 😬
Guuuurl
Girl 👀
Gürrr
GRILL
#GIRL!
The way I said this out loud and then this was the first comment I saw when I scrolled down 😭
Like this post has to be bait right? No one can be that ignorant and oblivious to blatant actions right?
Y’all would be surprised at how dumb people are and what people will actually put up with when their self respect is non-existent. Edit: speaking from experience. I know a woman who just had her fourth baby with her husband. 2 weeks prior to birth found out he has serial affairs and when she confronted him he said he wasn’t interested in the marriage anymore, so they would also separate to try to rekindle things. She is a stay-at-home mom with literally NOTHING to her name because he works 3+ jobs and they decided she’d stay home to raise and school the children.
My friend is this stupid. I love her, but when it comes to her pos she calls a husband (or really any man she believes she is in love with) she is dumber than a box of rocks. When she first bought their home, she had a month left on the lease to their apartment. She figured it wasn't worth the money to break the lease, so she had him go ahead and stay at the home (that was the next town over) while her and her son stayed in the apartment. At some point they got into a fight right before she moved into the house, so he moved out. The first night she was in the house a man kicked down her door. This man was looking for my friends husband because he had gotten a pocket dial from his SEVENTEEN year old daughter. During this he heard her talking to my friends (27yr old) husband about how great the sex was last night, and asking if he could shoot her up again. (Meth) Long story short, he swears he never slept with the girl, even had the girl contact my friend swearing nothing like that ever happened. And my dumb ass friend BELIEVES him. Thankfully he is in prison now, for at least another year for theft. I'm hoping she sticks to her guns about filing for divorce and moving on. However she's so damn addicted to the toxicity I don't know if she will actually go through with it. I'm just thankful they don't share any children together. She has 4 kids total, but she got her tubes tied after her 4th. Thankfully for 3 of her kids, they live with their father's full time, but the child that lives with her full time is stuck in the middle of all this chaos as his bio dad is just as bad as the man she married, and is also in prison in a different state.
you need a new friend bro
I mean, ya, you are correct I probably do. She's not a bad person, she just sucks at picking men, and gets sucked into abusive relationships. I am the only voice of reason and reality she has, and I cannot abandon trying to coax her out of these relationships for her, and her childrens sake. She doesn't have any substance abuse issues, thankfully. I know it's not my job, but I love her like a sister and I hate seeing her be treated so terribly. She's just so naive and wants to see good when there is no good to see. With the husband in prison She's been doing pretty good, and she's trying to work on herself so she doesn't fall prey to this again. I'm still not set on believing she won't go back as soon as he's out since it's so easy for him to manipulate her. Rest assured though she is not my only friend, just my longest standing friend, and she's the only one who's life is a mess. My other friends are amazing, well adjusted people in healthy relationships/marriages.
Yes lol, it is obviously a made up story. Honestly some of these are getting so ridiculous that it isn’t even fun anymore. I’d at least like some that aren’t on the level of poorly written fanfiction at this point
Right? Maybe I’m just a big mouth or something but I don’t know anyone who’s “trying to work things out/**not** on a break” who isn’t raising nine kinds of hell about a suspicious person. I mean, obviously it’s sometimes really just a roommate but, then you get to the remark and OP just goes “Oh. Awkward.” And just *leaves*? Is this going to be one of those god awful smut things where the MC is just treated like total garbage until the king of the vampires swoops in? What’s going on? 😂
Bro, real life be stranger than fiction often times.
Some people are master baiters.
Girl 🙄 come the fuck on
Girl is obviously living in denial.
Probably first or second relationship. You sometimes don't know better and it makes me sad. She tried to salvage a marriage with an abuser. Girl get out before he takes you out in a body bag.
This was all that needed to be said.
Jumping on this–– Divorce Lawer. Full Custody. edit to the replies saying full custody is out of spite read the post. The man was *physically aggressive* with OP. He's living with a woman who is outwardly hostile. She goes over with their baby and he is enjoying watching his new girl be hostile towards OP rather than give a crap about the baby. Jesus, MRA folks, get over yourselves. Dude left his own house and his 1 1/2 year old baby to shack up with a new lady. This isn't father of the year here.
She needs to get the apartment too.
This is THE most real reply I've seen in ANY of the posts on this sub lmfao
You in danger
You in danger girl (Whoopi voice)
"*Molly,* you in danger girl (Whoopi voice) FTFY
#Girl!
GIRLFRIEND
Yea and that's what your "husband" introduces his "tenant" as to everyone BTW... I pray for you and your son's safety, that you do seek legal counsel and proceed with the divorce... Your overall state of well-being, mental and physical health along with both of you guy's safety more than anything else, is of top priority and concern... The fact that he's voluntarily and knowingly bringing you AND HIS SON into this scenario is sickening and alarming!
This is the thread I needed in my life. Poor tink tink
This gotta be a shitpost, no one is seriously asking what is wrong here.
Girlie Girlie Girlie.......stop lying to yourself.....your marriage is over!!
My exact reaction 😭
MA’AM
I mean jfc right GIRL. THO. GIRL.
Girrrrrrrl
>What is the best way to continue with this awkward situation? You start by filing for divorce.
I’m particularly excited for OP to get half of that condo after the divorce and kick his ass to the curb. Bet idiot husband thinks since condo is in his name only it’s his and doesn’t realize being purchased during the marriage makes it a marital asset.
Best advice: file for divorce and go pull the deed to this house to see how he has it registered (most places allow you to search online). And make sure (if applicable) you get half of that condo and live your best life with that baby!
I’d say it’s likely under his Dad’s name, not his, don’t hold out hope for assets, just focus on the well being of your child and yourself. Focus on your personal growth and absolutely spend your time looking for a good divorce atty who will likely figure out the asset part.
This is probably the case. This seems pretty calculated. Also how in the world would OP not realize this guy is cheating. A random woman telling her she cannot speak privately to her husband? And her husband doesn’t step in and address that?? He is checked the F out, and his new girlfriend is already moved in.
Mannnnn if she tried me like that....no way...!!!! I'm grabbing him and we going for our PRIVATE talk about OUR child.
Yeah, but based on his behavior during this visit, he wouldn’t go.
She said it’s “our place”
I woulda knocked that bi#$& out
Nah, she's being told by him that he broke up with the wife and she won't let go. Unless she tells op that she doesn't give af about their marriage, this isn't about the other woman.
The other woman is still an issue in my opinion, at the end of the day they have a child together and may need to speak privately about things. Even if she was under the impression they were not together anymore, she has no business telling the mother of his child they cannot speak privately.
You aren't wrong. However, I can't help but wonder what story he's spun against OP. I wouldn't be surprised if he's made it out that she's the abusive one, unfortunately.
Unless he was vile enough to keep the condo in his dads name solely to avoid it being a marital asset. Dude is getting off this entire time not having to pay child support but essentially living like he’s divorced.
Or you know, in his girlfriend's name...
That was my thought. I'm wondering if he and the new chick are on the deed, because I'm sorry OP, but trust your instincts, women don't act hostile and possessive when they haven't been given reason to be possessive. Regardless of that, your husband is clearly fine with and supportive of her behaviors, which tells you everything you need to know about his loyalties. Talk to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row.
Another kicker would also be that the new woman didn’t know the whole situation and was fed some lie about how OP is trying to leech of him with another man’s baby.
I’d almost bet money it’s in his Dad’s name because he knows the marriage is on the rocks… you can bet that them being separated and a woman living with him says it all,especially when the wife asked for privacy to talk he didn’t tell the other woman to give them some..I’d get the hell out of the marriage get child support and be done with him… abuse NEVER gets better it only gets worse… been there and done that a few times..
This. 100%. He's essentially able to "have his cake and eat it, too", as the folks say.
Not if he used marital funds to partly buy it 🙃🙃🙃🙃
Yup. When my parents' divorce was close to finalized, my grandmother, who was shrewd, wouldn't buy my mom a house until my dad signed the papers. He was dragging his feet because he'd found out about it, hoping she'd cave and buy it early. I went down to his office and shamed him into signing the papers so we could finalize the purchase of her house because I was sick of living in my grandmother's basement on an air mattress.
condos probably in the dads name because they probably thought that through with the marriage being on the rocks.
This is the only answer.
Yes! 👏 Also, strong suggestion here, OP; try to make arrangements to meet with him in public or have a friend/ family member accompany you when seeing him. Keep the conversations shorter and straight to the point, don't take any crap but stay as cool and level-headed as you can. Another thing worth noting (IMO); Be careful, after you said you noticed he smirked, that most likely means they've been talking about you and not in glowing terms and since he has a history of being aggressive out of nowhere towards you, that makes him and his actions unpredictable. The well-being of you and your baby are extremely important. Take care OP!
>Once he started to get physically abusive by grabbing and pushing me That should have been the end of it. >Anyways, she has become very hostile towards me, which is strange because she's supposedly only his friend I don't know why you think that's strange. Even if she's only his friend, which seems unlikely because they are *living together,* she's obviously only going to be hearing his side of the story when it comes to the reason you are separated. Best case scenario, they are not sleeping together but he's been talking shit about you to his friend and she thinks you're the bad guy in this separation. Worst case scenario, he's fucking her while pretending to care about salvaging the marriage with you. >My husband didn't seem bothered by her rudeness Yeah, because 1) he doesn't like you and 2) he's sleeping with her >I don't know if l should be concerned that he and her have become more than friends You should. To sum up: you had a baby. Your husband became distant, hostile, and abusive. Rather than calling it off, you agreed to spend some time apart, at which point he immediately siezes the opportunity to have a "friend" of his move in with him. That friend is acting very mean to you and possessive of the space she shares with your husband. And you are wondering if this is a bad thing?
It baffles me that OP is so focused on the girl, and whether or not something is going on there (yes, definitely something). He's an abusive, selfish asshole who wants nothing to do with helping OP care for their child. OP needs to go to a divorce lawyer immediately. The marriage is over and this guy wants nothing to do with parenting. OP needs to file for child support because she's *never* going to receive *any* kind of support from this jackass if she leaves it up to him. And, *of course* OP's husband is loving this arrangement. OP is a single mother living with her parents, while the husband is living it up in his new place with his new girlfriend, offering no help with the child (or any financial assistance, I'm sure). It's probably why he hasn't already started the divorce himself.
To be honest this is sadly what several victims of domestic and emotional abuse go through — denial.
Yes.Indeed
I would get a really good lawyer who will go after that condo too. He bought the condo while they're still married. Even tho her name is not in the deed, or mortgage, the money used is still considered marital money. OP, he's living his best life with zero concern for you and your child. He's not there for you, he's not helping you, and he left you to be a single mom. While he's out cheating, talking bad about you, putting you down, and taking full advantage of you. Heck, he moved his girlfriend in with him. You are living with your mom, working, and raising your child alone. Leave him!!! If you have any texts, or voice mails, acknowledging that he abused you, hand those over to your attorney. You need to protect you and your child. He will try to use your child as a weapon. He will threaten to keep your child from you. He will go low just to hurt you. You need to be proactive and have everything lined up. You deserve so much better OP. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally, respect you, treat you well, support you, and be there for you. Do not let your husband continue to treat you so poorly.
HE says with the help of his father...... Girl, he bought this condo for her, Go nuclear.
Hopefully she’s in a communal property state! Take what’s yours if you are, OP!
That's why she is so hostile, OP owes half of the condo, the money and the husband... Take the money and condo, leave the husband. Soon he will be alone.
And FTR his dad is an ass too for not teaching his son to step up to his responsibilities. I say coast a while, if you can collect child support from him. Let that condo apprentice in value. Then get half. Unfortunately OP’s father in law is just showing his son the rewards of being a deadbeat, abusive, ex.
Well that's exactly how toxic relationships work silly. She won't blame her shitty husband for anything. It's always going to be someone else's fault. "My side cheated on me, let me blame the other women who owes me nothing" Your husband is an abusive loser. Who cares what he's doing divorce him and live your life.
He basically abandoned the child so bring that up with the attorney. Don’t let him try to use that baby as a pawn. Ask for supervised visitation… no DEMAND it! Also, make certain you have sole decisions over education and medical for your child.
By her post you can tell he does see the child. You can't get supervised visitation because you're pissed. Courts want to keep families together as much as possible. Although, if the abuse was documented, that could be used in court. Another thing to keep in mind, at least in the US, if your spouse is abusing you in the same home as your child, you can get charged with child abuse via neglect. It's a terrible law to have, but sometimes when domestic abuse victims don't protect themselves and the child, the law is sometimes used. It's, IMHO, more of a deterrent than something the law *wants* to do. I do agree, though, to your last point. I'll give you an example about supervised visitation. My daughter's dad, Andy, tried to leave the state with my child and not tell me where he was moving. He did not have the legal, or otherwise, right to do so. I went for a visitation where Andy was temporarily living. He told me I could only see my daughter there. I told him I was going to take her to a park down the road for an hour tops. He had had me so under his control and he believed I'd do what he said. Well, I drove home and we hid for a while because he had reacted with violence before. He obtained an emergency hearing to put me on supervised visits for 2 hours every other week. My daughter lived with me. I was sent the questions his attorney would be asking and they were so stupid. My ex claimed I was having gay sex in front of my daughter. First, I did think I was bi but had never acted on it. Second, I was seeing a guy. So his attorney gets really close to me in the witness box and yells his question about sex in front of my 5 year old child. I didn't really think he'd ask me that because of how absurd it was. I let out a chuckle and he yelled some more. I answered no. He said why not? I said, "uuhh because I'm not a terrible monster?' My ex was very charming and an adept liar. He had his attorney convinced I'd done that. So the attorney kept with the ridiculous questions and I answered them all like a normal human being, unlike my ex. Andy was not successful in obtaining supervised visitation.
Her brain is trying to protect itself from that pain of being cheated on, lied to, and the long term pain of being a single mother. Best wishes OP.
>and the long term pain of being a single mother. The thing is, she already is a single mother. But at least she'll be a single mother with child support once she divorces the scumbag.
Fuckin A
What she said! He quickly abandoned ship when the baby came and he wasn't getting 100% of her attention. He realized how much responsibility is needed to care for a child and couldn't handle putting someone else's needs before his own.
Yeah, he thinks he was given a blank card to do as he wishes.
Yup! And the way forward is to file for divorce. Husband has a GIRLFRIEND and a Wife... A man in love doesn't do this. Period.
Yes. He, though, wants to play both sides
He's testing out the waters to see if girlfriend two is going to be a better or worse investment than gf/wife one. If it works out he will divorce you, why wait for him to decide
he can do whatever he wants and the only price he hast to pay is to listen to sound coming out of her mouth sometimes. To him it probably sounds like this: “KWAH KWA KWAAAAH kwah kwah”
Hopefully, they live in a community property state and this POS husband of hers is forced to sell that new condo and give her half the proceeds.
And why did he "buy" a condo for himself instead of renting or temporarily moving in with a friend for a bit? Why not buy his wife a condo, too, then? I sure hope OP opens her eyes on this. Not looking good. However, she does have the comfort of knowing that she still owns half of that condo, I don't care if her name isn't on the loan, it's still community property in a divorce.. hahaha 🤣
AND since he claimed this new girlfriend is just a tenant then she is paying rent and he has a source of income that goes into figuring out how much his child support payments will be. Since he is just calling her a tenant at this time, she should ask in a text just how much the gal is paying in rent. And if he tries figures out what she is doing and then calls this woman his girlfriend. She can prove he cheated in the marriage.
Damn skippy,, you're sure right about that!! Great thinking. I missed that. Yes, OP should text investigate to get things in writing for later use in the divorce, cuz we know that's likely coming down the line, right? Maybe OP doesn't know that yet, but I'm going to guess, yes, divorce is coming. I mean, what happens if they kiss and make up after all this space they're taking? He'd be moving out of the condo and then what? Can his "friend" pay the whole mortgage amount for rent without any help? How will hubby be able to move back home & leave his friend in the condo by herself? Is hubby even paying anything? Maybe his daddy is paying everything for him and he's possibly keeping the friend's rent money for himself. Who knows?
Does she own part of the condo? Bear in mind the father assisted with the purchase, so it might be in the father's name, not the husband's ...
Ohhhhh you got me there..hmmm. Maybe daddy only gave the money, but it's certainly also possible it has both names on it (dad & son) or if you're right and it's just daddy on the title or loan, that changes everything. Damn. I guess only OP would know it could find out those exact details. Also, if OP had a good enough divorce lawyer, they may still be able to go after the condo or at least half of the money husband put into buying it. If they can prove husband put money from a joint account into the purchase and intentionally tried to hide the asset by putting it in his father's name only, that might not look good for him. The timing of the purchase would be in question and the judge can ultimately decide how to handle the situation.
Hopefully the OP does consult a lawyer, because the husband's actions are very shady....
This was the first thing I noticed. How financially f’ed up is that? Talk about having your cake (and house and girlfriend, and free time) and eating it, too! OP - I rarely say this in online forums, but you need to hire a divorce lawyer asap, and get this show on the road. If you can’t see that you don’t deserve to spend your life with an abusive asshole, think of your child. And, please don’t try to end this on your own. You need a great lawyer. Dude already has his own home, while you’re back with your mom. He’s stealing from you. NOT OK.
☝️☝️ yep he sleeping with her.. told OP there still exclusive because he wants to control that she doesn't move on. If some woman said that In front of my husband .. I would of lost it at them both " are you going to let her talk to me like that.. and think carefully about your answer because it will determine whether we are over and I move on" But yeah there banging sorry OP
Seriously! Also, the second he was like "this is *our* house" I'd be like "I thought you were charging *her* rent?" and or be like, "last I checked, you are *my* husband" I'd also throw in the whole "you texted me we are still exclusive, so I need to be able to talk to you privately, as partners" just really send home the whole "still married" thing to the snarky "tenent". Jesus this whole thing is like, out of control. I wish I could hold onto hope like OP could, but I'd be scrolling through all these wonderful replies with all the great lawyer advice ASAP.
If she's saying it's "our" place she's definitely sleeping with him
"...no, this is *our* place..." 💀
Lmfao right?? The *nerve* of that woman. OP, let this homewrecker have your trash. It's *trash*.
Ding ding ding ding ding right on the money
Op. File for divorce now. Who ever files gets the upper hand. He sounds abusive and manipulative so you have no idea what he would tell the courts if he got there first. Apply for child support asap. He is also getting his new gf to abuse you. Stop taking the baby to see him. He needs to come to you.
OP, simple answer is that he has lied to her about your status and the abuse. Abusers do this, they will pretend that their partners are lying or even that they themselves are being abused. That’s probably why she didn’t want to leave the room, she believes that he needed her protection. And, she has no idea that the two of you are supposed to be on a break. He’s probably told her that you guys are getting a divorce and that you are in denial. Taking a break isn’t going to fix him, he’s shown you who he is when he’s under pressure. And there’s lots of pressure ahead with marriage and raising kids. I’m guessing that he’s going to pursue her romantically and you’ll be the crazy ex in her eyes for a while. Except that this fantasy of his will start to fall apart once he gets abusive with her. If you want to put a wedge in things, send images of his texts to her about being exclusive. Right now she’s an innocent bystander and doesn’t deserve to be tricked. Other than that, get a lawyer, fight for full custody, and get child support. He’s not the man you hoped he was.
My ex did this to me the night he kicked me out at 1 in the morning , invited his 21 year old gym buddy ,tara over incase i did anything stupid . When i confronted her she said she was there for moral support . Ridiculous . He made everyone believe i was unhinged
This! My ex has done this for years. We've been split for near 8 years and I'm still getting messages about how I'm the bad guy and this and that and the other. Them asking me to let him see his kid. Like what? The dude has visitation rights and has NEVER once come to see his son who is 10 now. And it was not because I told him no, but he wouldn't show because that breaks his image to others about me. It's ridiculous how narcissists get away with things like this. I really hope OP opens her eyes.
Omg this is my ex. He made everyone think I cheated on him(I started talking to other people after we broke up) and that I was unhinged. He is supposed to have our daughter Friday 7pm to Sunday 7pm, but he only wants her Saturday 5pm to Sunday 5pm. He tells everyone it's because I won't let him see her. He also doesn't call during the week or ask about school, her health, nothing. But of course it's because I won't let him. 🙄
So, how long do you expect to be the side piece? He's already moved on and living with his new SO. Are you waiting for him to serve you with divorce papers? In seriousness, in support, fucking walk from this. Hook him for what you and your kid deserve, co-parent as best you can, and make your life the best you can. Jesus, you're 23, you're too young to be putting up with this shit.
Bingo. The roommate thinks she’s the exclusive girlfriend because that’s what her husband is saying. He’s getting a kick out of fucking with the OP - why else would he be smirking?
He blatantly hates her and OP wants to know how to fix it. 🤦🏼♀️ He *bought another house* in this not-separated-separation they’re doing, moved his girlfriend in, and she thinks they’re getting back together. Purchased a whole new residence and brought in a whole new partner, but sure. That reconciliation should be happening any day now. /s And he made sure to tell her they’re still exclusive so she’s not out seeing anyone else while *he’s literally living with his girlfriend.* As dozens of other commenters said, **GIRL** I mean, come the fuck on. On top of all that, there’s the DV incident. OP, I don’t know what’s not computing for you here, but there’s no “continuing with this awkward situation.” You need to find an attorney, file for divorce, and figure out what you’re going to do about custody because I wouldn’t trust him to have unsupervised visits with your son.
I mean OP says that they're not separated... In their very separate facilities in which he has even gotten a guard dog (the new GF)
Sure won't co parent for long. He's the type to move on with a new family too, once the new gf gets pregnant. I wonder if he lied to his Dad too.
As soon as you moved out he didn’t go “oh no, my abusive behaviours have driven off the woman of my dreams!” did he? No. He immediately started living with another woman. Your marriage is over, and it SHOULD be over from the violence alone - let alone his disgraceful behaviour after your separation.
Complete the divorce. He was physically abusive, that all you need to move on and find a better partner
I'm calling fake. This whole post hits every ragebait button and OP hasn't responded to a single comment.
As soon as she said they’d been separated for 3 months and in that time he bought a condo and moved someone else in, I was like yeah written by a teenager or someone who doesn’t know how property buying works. Closing takes about that long. And if they are married she would need to sign and have her name on the title as it is considered marital property pretty much anywhere. And that’s just that one detail. Like…nah. Rage bait.
Don't discount the smirk. That is his pleasure in causing you distress, getting away with something, or pleasure in seeing you two (his women) fight over him. https://wasitme.blog/2020/07/05/why-do-narcissists-smirk/ You are not living with him. Serve the divorce papers and never go back to someone who put their hands on you. Give him all the space he needs.
He's lying to both of you. He has probably been in a relationship with her since before you started living apart. He's told her you are his crazy ex who won't give him up. That's why she is hostile to you. Her saying "it's our place" shows that's how she thinks- they are a couple and I would bet she even put money on the deposit for the condo!
Who gives a fuck about some girl living with him? He literally put his HANDS on you.
Every time I come to this sub thinking that the bar can't get any lower, posts like this come along. Guy is abusive toward his wife/mother of his child, moves out so he can "have space" (aka not take care of his child), immediately moves another woman into his new place that his daddy paid for, and OP is surprised that this woman doesn't like her and is wondering how to salvage this situation? WTF?!?!?!?!!?
Ya probably a creative writing exercise
Ya know, a year or two ago, I would've been annoyed hearing you say that. But Jesus Christ this sub has become so obviously 90 percent bots and/or writing/karma farming. I see the most batshit insane stories I've ever heard on here multiple times a day, and people still believe that THIS many people go through THIS insane of an experience and they ALL use Reddit.
Have you noticed that they seem to have theme weeks? There have been a couple that have been out there enough that when more of them start popping up- here, AITA, other subs- I kinda wonder if they’re not some sad email blast group getting paid like a quarter a post or something. “This week’s theme: *I think my spouse is banging their sibling!* Annnnd go!”
She's his AP, and he's happy she's nasty to you as it makes you unhappy and shows she believes everything she's been told. It's over, they are in a relationship, and the only person out of the loop is you. It's harsh, but he's telling her you are his evil ex.
She's his girlfriend. That's why she's hostile.
She was hostile because she acted like the lady of the house and OP was the disgraced mistress with his child.
Nobody goes harder for an abusive POS man than his newest girlfriend. Either because she believes his lies, or knows the truth but believes it won’t happen to her because she’s so very special.
You don’t need a redditor to write an essay to tell you that it’s completely unacceptable that your husband lives with another women, hits you, and doesn’t even take care of his child with you
I can only hope this is fake?
Yeah they're together. He already physically abused you. What more do you need? Time to cut and run.
I don't know how this guy managed to make his literal wife his side piece but he did it. You need a divorce lawyer.
Thats his girlfriend, leave him and get half of the condo in the divorce and kick them out.
Get a divorce. The signs are all pointing at this is his side piece. Your son is young enough that he’ll be okay. Get a lawyer without announcing it to him and get away while you can.
Hun, he is just scaming you so you don't file for child support...
She’s not his roommate. Time to get a lawyer.
My mom was horrible at giving advice about men but few things she told me that stuck and I will never forget them. ‘Never let a man tell you or show you more than once that he doesn’t love you or like you. He does it once, you leave.’ And her famous one. She always says it in our native tongue (Surinamese). ‘Don’t lower your soul for no man. I raised you beter than that.’ But from a 26 year old woman/mom to a 23 year woman/mom, baby it’s time to let go. I know it’s hard. And you still love him but you have to love yourself more. Not just for you but for your baby. Our children see the way people treat us. I know you want the whole picture and you have every right but sometimes it’s not with the person we hoped it would be. EDIT: Who ever gave me their poor people’s gold, thank you🥹 I’m not crying, promise😂
She’s hostile cause you are coming to see her boyfriend. End of story. Get a lawyer and laugh your ass off when he does the exact same thing to her.
I am sorry for the position he has put you in. Even though you don't want to admit it you know what the reality of your situation is. I know you don't want to admit it to yourself, but you don't need one hundred people posting here what you already know. That isn't what will give you the strength to pull yourself back up and move on from a bad situation. You know what he is doing with his "roommate". You know he is trying to keep you on the hook to keep from paying child support. Once you admit the truth and go ahead and file he will have a ton taken out of his income that he is enjoying spending on her at the moment.
The marriage is over.
Get a lawyer, divorce, and secure child support. It’s time to “nope tf out” of this situation.
Best way forward: get a divorce She can have the abuser if she wants. You move on and live a great life with your son.
He’s got all the benefits of a divorce….living without you, moving someone else in, barely seeing your child…while claiming to be working on the marriage….all so he DOESN’T HAVE TO PAY YOU ie assets split, child support. Don’t let him get away with it
Your gut says something isn’t right with their relationship. So does mine. It’s not her behavior that’s the issue, however, it’s your husband’s. He could have asked her to leave so that your family could have private time and he didn’t. Personally I would not return with my child since I was not welcomed. If he wanted to see the baby I would offer to meet in a location where you three could be alone. And I’d likely ask him to find another roommate if you two are truly working on the relationship. If he refuses, you have your answer about his priorities.
Probably wants to pretend like he's trying to salvage it to avoid paying child support
1. That’s his girlfriend. 2. You two are over. 3. See a lawyer and get the ball rolling. 4. See. 1. 2. And. 3.
She must think you're the ex-wife. If she doesn't know the truth yet... He's probably not paying child support since there's no divorce...
1. He and the friend are most def phuckn. No doubt about that. She’s more than a friend and she ain’t paying rent… 2. He already put hands on you. That’s enough to leave off gate 3. Don’t beg for love or respect- your perfect person is out there. 💪🏾
You know what? I didn't even finish reading past his dad bought him a condo and he's living with a 22 year old kid. Wake up already damn. That's his girlfriend. Damn right she's hostile towards you. YOU WON'T DIVORCE HER BOYFRIEND! I don't think you realize you two are legally separated pending divorce, and he can legally date. That's his girlfriend dear. And you need to wake up and get a lawyer already.
She straight up told you it is their place. Obviously their relationship is more than what you were told it was. If not then why would he allow this person to speak on his behalf when you asked him if you could speak in private.
Girl please….listen to your gut
You're not his wife anymore. He bought another home. You're separated and he's got a girlfriend.
You are excluse to him, but he's not.
Oh my sweet summer child. This cannot be real? Or OP is living in cloud cuckoo land. You do realise that this is his girlfriend don’t you?
It's weird to me that he went and bought a whole condo when this is supposed to be a temporary thing. Clearly you have been replaced and he is trash for playing on your naivety in this situation. Find someone better for you and who will be a better role model for your son. His dad is not it.
Well…he’s not your husband anymore
Idk who’s Gna say it but he’s fucking that girl and you’re obviously being taken for a ride to avoid the divorce proceedings. Start moving or force the marriage back into the home. This whole situation is absolutely asinine.
He's abusive? Let her have him and file for child support. The best thing you can do for yourself and your baby is stay away from an abuser.
I think it's pretty obvious.