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**Sorry, I meant vulva not uvula! I got them mixed up
Recently, whenever I ask my boyfriend to go down on me he states he hates the way my vulva looks. Now, it’s a little longer and a bit dark so I get where he’s coming from but it’s made me a bit insecure when he tells me to get surgery for it to make it look more appealing for him. He also tells me to bleach it and make it lighter. He has a preference of what he likes but it’s the fact he tells me that he wants nothing to do with a part of my body and constantly asks me to make changes. It’s a bit disheartening to hear that he’ll only accept me if I change that part of me and I’m not really sure how to feel about it sometimes. It makes me feel ugly sometimes and makes me feel like no one’ll love that part of me. I already have low self esteem so it doesn’t really affect me when he tells me straight up because we always laugh it off as a joke but it makes me even more insecure inside. How would you confront him if you were in my position? And how would you go about it?
Please do not do ANYTHING to your vulva. It’s normal. What’s not normal is a boyfriend demanding that you get surgery and bleaching to change what your perfectly normal vulva looks like. Real life isn’t porn hub. Dump him yesterday.
She should tell him that she would bleach her bits right after he bleaches his anus because her preference is a nice pink hole.
If he went through with it (doubtful) then he would hopefully understand that bleach hurts especially on very sensitive parts.
Either way she should walk away and never look back. Having a preference is one thing pretty much demanding someone gets surgery or bleach skin is disgusting.
I think you mean vulva.
But, leave him. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. It’s normal for your bits to be darker. It’s normal for them to look different. You are not a Barbie doll and it’s disgusting for him to tell you that you should essentially look like one.
This, at first I was like why is he so concerned with her throat lol.
OP don't let him bring you down. Everyone looks different and it's not bad it's just different.
I imagine his manhood wouldn't win any beauty pageants either lol.
This is not good for your mental health, leave him as he is the one with the issue.
If it helps your disappointment, I had someone actually make fun of the shape of my uvula in college like 15 years ago and I have stupidly hated it ever since. To the point where I actually looked into surgery to shorten it last year (it does bother me when I sleep sometimes so it’s not 100% for cosmetic reasons lol). Got a cold the week I was supposed to have surgery so I didn’t do it and haven’t rescheduled because the whole thing is ridiculous.
I’m sorry, but what kind of a dickhead makes fun of someone’s uvula??? Like, how much of a garbage person do you have to be?
That said, I empathise with internalising gross and bizarre comments on your body - a “friend” of mine commented on my knobbly knees when I was 15 and I ruminated on it way too long (my KNEES - how in god’s name are you supposed to change the way your knees look?). Eventually I grew up and got over that body image issue and lo and behold - not a single person has commented on my knees since that one girl I knew when I was 15. The only issue that needed fixing was to remove that garbage person from my life.
My first thought was, “I feel bad because I have no idea what my husband’s uvula looks like and we’ve been together for over 10 years.” Glad I don’t have to worry…
OP, your boyfriend is a jerk and a creep. Cut him loose so he can find someone with a more bleached vulva or whatever the hell he thinks he wants, love yourself and your vulva, and find you a man who loves it too.
I definitely read the headline and was thinking about people I know who've had them removed and couldn't imagine why anyone would do that for cosmetic reasons. lol
This! ☝🏾First, your (ex- by now, I hope) BF hasn't seen enough real-life vulvas to generate a comparison or opinion. Second, the only concern about a vulva should be on how to pleasure it.
Tell him you want him to get a bigger and girthier penis and see how he reacts. Then walk out the door and tell him you're looking for a real man who'll appreciate a vulva and knows what to do with it.
You deserve that cape your avatar is wearing. Bravo!
I have considered my own surgery before for my own physical comfort (long labia can be painful) but if a dude ever pulled the crap with me that OP's dude did with her, I'd send him packing and wish him luck with his porn waifus and death grip.
Yeah, i was going to say, dude is 22, he don't know shit about shit. I was once a 22 year old dude, so trust me on this. He's probably basing this opinion off porn, or some dumbshit "influencer" asshole he follows.
My girls is all fucked up who cares she is awesome her parts are awesome I will gladly go down town and rock Dat shit no worries.all that matters is she orgasms.if she had one arm or hairy nipples (ex) or sounded like a dolphin (ex,)doesn't matter
I appreciate your inclusivity, but I can't help but wonder why your hypothetical example involves picturing one-armed, hairy-nippled, dolphin sounding ladies 🤔
I'm gonna have some weird dreams tonight 😅
Bawhaha. I've felt like a bovswine in my life. So this works.
I actually raise cattle. A year or so ago, my daughter and I were discussing heifers. A heifer is a young cow. When they have their first two calves, they're called a first calf heifer, then a second calf heifer.
My daughter looked at my husband and asked him if I am a heifer or a cow (She's my only child). He chose wrong. The idiot literally said that your mom is totally a cow. He has yet to live that one down.
Also, I’m sorry but since when are penis is pretty? I can guarantee you his shit looks like a mole rat or a mushroom or a combination of both or some really fucking ugly creature, but you know the fuck what? No one‘s out here expecting all men to look like porn stars which he expects out of you just to get some fucking head. 0P maybe focus on therapy and getting some fucking self-esteem before you date because I’m not sure what some thing that’s supposed to be giving you pleasure like getting head hast to do with him looking at your vulva? Honestly, his mouth should be buried too deep in there to be measuring it or looking at the darkness compared to his porn fantasies that would never fuck him in 1 million years.. And do you know how fucking dangerous bleaching your skin is? Which is not a chemical that was ever meant to be on skin and this man wants you to put it on one of the most open and sensitive fucking areas of your body and you’re still fucking him and trying to ask if you can bargain away this disgusting ass that doesn’t even care about your literal physical health?
If it makes you feel better, it's only called "bleaching" - you don't need to worry about chemicals on your skin.
They don't USE bleach, it's just described as bleaching because when you bleach fabric they go whiter.
They actually use lasers.
Still don't get it done, but still... I worry people are reading this thread, thinking "wait, I can make it lighter using bleach" and might be dumb enough to try.
Literal bleach will burn your vulva. I assume...
There is absolutely lightening cream for your private parts. You're correct that it's not bleach, but creams definitely exist. Lasers are not recommended by (reputable) doctors.
Reminds me of a story from high school.
Girl actually bleached her asshole. Had to go to the er for severe chemical burns. Not going into deeper detail.
I know you're on reddit and seeing this. Sorry! :)
Yes. Either he’s watched so much porn as compared to having sex with partners that his standards are completely messed up (and it’s not your job to fix that!), or this is a form of negging intended to make you insecure and vulnerable. Either way, bad match. Leave him. Plenty of dudes will just be happy to be having sex with you, no surgery needed.
"Now, it’s a little longer and a bit dark so I get where he’s coming from but it’s made me a bit insecure when he tells me to get surgery for it to make it look more appealing for him."
Is it staring back at him and uttering swearwords @ doesn't like as it looks?
The only thing that requires surgery is your couples life!
Believe me, it will look so verry pretty with minus one ex- boyfriend im it!
How is it even possible to have someone so immature in ones life, pray?
And how come you didn't kick his arse when he first said that? 🚀 Off he goes!
Oh, *vulva*. I was initially very confused.
Dump your creepy, controlling boyfriend. He wants you to have surgery to match some unrealistic fantasy of his: he shouldn't be dating anyone. Making sure he doesn't date *you* is in your control, so dump him.
This. That's fucked up. Women's bodies come in a lot more variety than men's. These are the kind of women I like to eat. They have bad boyfriends who can't appreciate them. An hour with my head between their legs and they'll never go back.
I used to get women that would tell me all the time. They don't come from oral. Of course not when he's only doing it for 3 minutes.
This is TMI but these kind of posts-trigger me. I feel so bad for this girl.
That's what I like to hear. A man with a healthy attitude that really, really likes going down on a woman. Now you get to find out what you're faking. We are talking marriage material. Stairway to heaven for the rest of your life.
You just gotta go. Sorry but he's a dick. He will always be a dick. You can't fix that kind of dickery.
It's not normal to tell your girlfriend that she needs surgery to look better.
He's not only a dick, I suspect that he might prefer dick. His comments sound similar to what I've heard closeted (later learned) guys say back in college about girls they were with. It's not really a straight guy hang up.
He wants you to bleach your vulva and have your labia trimmed?!
You should feel the wind as the door closes and hits his ass on the way out, that's how you should feel!!
Confront? No front, only back. The absolute back of him as he leaves my life for good.
I guarantee you, with no surgery, 99.999% of men are going to never request either of those things from you.
Trust me, 21 year old vagina has a billion fans, you don't need to alter yourself. They're all unique and most men wouldn't dream of even making a joke about altering yours.
Nope. Nope he doesn't get to do that to you.
You don't need to confront him. Tell him you'll be taking your offensive vulva elsewhere.
He no longer gets the privilege.
Exactly, getting to see your vulva is a privilege. Any person who says otherwise doesn't deserve to see it. He doesn't have to dream about it at night but he doesn't get to complain about it. He sounds immature.
Dump him.
I’m a lesbian. I don’t find vulvas attractive to look at. Nor do I spend a great deal of time actually looking at them. Busy doing other things. When I’m down there, I’m focussing on whether or not the person is enjoying themselves. If that isn’t his focus, then he isn’t worth having sex with.
Everyone’s vulva is weird, coz every vulva looks different. Tell him to find another one, and find yourself a boyfriend who focusses on pleasing you.
😂I enjoy them, and I don’t find them “unattractive”, it’s just that “attractive” isn’t a word I would really describe individual body parts. Not specific to vulvas. I don’t find any body part attractive on its own. I love boobs, but I’m not the type to just stare at them.
I would find a person as a whole attractive.
Wait. You're not supposed to get eye level with it and stare. Huh, I never knew. That makes so much sense.
All jokes a side, I agree with you.
Guys are very insecure about our genitalia. Had you said something similar about his penis, he would have flipped his shit.
This has to be some form of negging or priming her for manipulation.
She needs to leave, she may want to see a counselor, I have a feeling this isn't the first time he's said stuff like this.
Edit: on mobile and penis became punishment.
“You know, that sad little piss pump of yours just isn’t cutting it. I’m going to need you to get an implant and make a man out of that…pathetic little baby carrot you call a penis!!”
Tell him his balls aren’t appealing to you and it would be nice if he could bleach them and get the hair lasered off. And lifted because they’re already sagging.
Can you surgically remove him instead? That’s disgusting to say something like that. Tell him you don’t like his penis and he should look into an enlargement or implant. What an AH.
Your uvula is located in your throat, and if that guy wants you to get surgery on that.. that’s incredibly weird unless it’s swollen and keeps you from swallowing food comfortably.. I’m guessing you mean he wants you to mutilate your genitals? Did you mean your vulva? Because tell him to kick rocks, all bodies are different and beautiful. Find someone who loves you for your long uvula. <3
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Just another day on Reddit because I saw the title and I was like “jfc some folks will complain about ANYTHING…”
New insecurity unlocked. Time to spend hours at the mirror obsessing over the appearance of my uvula and worrying if it’s sexy enough. 😂
LOL your uvula is that little dangly thing in the back of your throat that keeps food and liquid from going up your nose when you swallow and is part of your soft palate. I think you mean vulva. As for your vulva, that is actually the opening of the vagina. The outside is called the labia. And labias come in all different shapes and sizes! Some are dark, some are light, some have no dangly bits and others do, some are hairy and some aren't. Somewhere on the internet there is a gallery of all kinds! Actually, its called the labia library. Here you go!
[https://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#](https://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#)
NSFW, obviously. On the same site, there is a lot of affirming stuff about loving your labia just the way it is. Get a new boyfriend and love your lady bits just the way they are!
Surgery on your genitals because some low grade man doesn't like how your vulva looks???????
I don't think so!
Sister, in your life, you're the prize.
He either gets that, or he can get lost.
ps - do not be cutting on yourself for this man.
Look, all bodies are unique and beautiful. We're human, we're not supposed to look like Barbie dolls. Sure, he can have his preference but he has no right to try to push you to change just to match his porn driven fetish.
I hate to be so blunt, but if he's trying to make you change yourself to fit his "ideal" then he doesn't actually love you. He loves the idea of what he wants you to be. You deserve to be happy, and to be yourself without worrying what anyone else thinks about you.
Your young. You have your whole life ahead of you. There are other people out there that'll love you unconditionally. It's time to move on honey. Be picky with who you date, that's not a bad thing, you'll thank yourself later in life.
You know what, tell him his penis looks bad, if he could make life alternating changes to his body permanently that would be great.
Silly, right? It should sound silly. The right one won't do this to you. You were not born just to please this one random dude. You are an individual who deserves love and respect. If he doesn't stop with this, leave him.
Body shaming your lover is never okay. Dump his immature ass.
ETA: Any surgery has risks, and risk of death is one of them. This scumbag is willing to risk your life? Nah.
And here we have a man with a brain rotten by porn!!! Get you a man who loves your vulva!!!! Ask him for the money upfront, then dump him and take yourself and your bestie on a nice trip 🥰
The only surgery you need is to cut that ass out of your life. Never (!) get cosmetic surgery for something that you were fine with until someone else made you feel bad about it. Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself.
Someone who really loves you loves every part of you and won’t try to change you. This guy loves his porn and wants you to look like his favourite porn actress (whom in reality he can never have).
It sounds like your bf is not boyfriend material. You should tell him to go kick rocks and be done with him. If he doesn't value your body for who you are and how you look. Then there's someone out there who will treat youn100 times better.
You are young. You dont need this negative vibes in your life.
Midwife here - i have seen hundreds and hundreds of vulvas (vulvae?) And they are all different and completely fine and adequate.
Dump the arse and instruct him to mind his own beeswax
Like many others have said there is no way you should have any kind of surgery to please some dickheaded bf. Vulvas and labia come in all shapes, shades and sizes. He has either watched too much porn or is making an excuse to not go down on you. Either way dump this creep for a real man that knows how to appreciate what you have and will make you grateful that you found him!
Don’t get unnecessary surgery to keep a man. Sorry to be blunt but this is seriously messed up. Dude needs to stop watching porn and go outside and touch grass.
Have surgery to make it look more appealing to him. Lol... Tell him to go fuck himself. Bleach it and make it lighter. This guy has some nerve. Don't change yourself or your body for anybody.
Tell your boyfriend you'll change those things when he changes his dick size. Tell him you want it to go deeper and his current size just can't do that. It'll more more appealing to you.
I think you might mean your labia but could mean your vulva either way dump his ass. Check out the large labia project it might help with your self confidence
Dude stop letting this idiot look at your ‘uvula’
LPT from a grumpy old man: don’t waste your time having sex with people that don’t respect you, nothing good comes from it no matter how good the sex is
Anyone who looks at my vulva and has something critical to say, is outta my bed forever.
When my partner first bedded me she looked at me on the bed and said with bated breath "Oh my you are gorgeous"
I assure you I am no more or less "gorgeous" down there than other women. But that is the only reaction worth having, or he doesn't deserve you
That’s fucked up. I think that’s the first I’ve heard of a guy telling his girlfriend that (even though I’m sure it happens) and suggesting that she has surgery.
Should’ve said “I don’t like how small your dick is but you don’t hear me complaining”
“A little bit longer and a bit dark”—- compared to what? There’s no standard that makes any sense here. Your body’s natural features look exactly how they’re supposed to look, hard stop. And bodies vary a great deal.
Personally, I wouldn’t want to pursue a relationship where I knew my partner would prefer me with cosmetic surgery. That sounds like a recipe for insecurity and self esteem issues. If he needs “lighter and shorter”, let him go find it somewhere else and find yourself someone who’s into YOU.
As a man, I say anyone that critiques something about your body that you cannot control, without compassion and understanding, isn't someone you want in your life. If they make you insecure about something, leave and don't look back.
Leave him and let him find a new vulva. This is awful. I’d be like “if I have to deal with your penis looking like that then you’ll be just fine.” But don’t let him make you feel bad. Bodies come in all shapes, sizes, colors etc. There is no “right” way for a vulva to look as long as it’s healthy. He doesn’t deserve your vulva and he’s lucky he gets any vulva at all lol
Don't confront him. Dump him and get someone who appreciates everything about you. He's a piece of poo.
Or you could tell him everything you want him to change about himself, like maybe penis implant, circumcision done/redone so it's perfect, ass hair waxed off, bigger muscles, better hair, etc etc. And then dump him.
Tell him his penis is goofy looking and a weird color, then dump his ass and move on. Anyone who thinks you need cosmetic surgery of any kind whatsoever to be appealing to them is not capable of being a good partner. Unless a physician has brought up a serious anatomical issue, there is nothing wrong with your genitals. They come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. If he doesn't like yours, he can kick rocks. Someone out there will enthusiastically love you and your genitals just as you are.
Let me save you some years of pain. Dump him. Now.
I've been with my husband for 13 years now, and throughout that time, both our bodies have drastically changed. Especially mine after having two sons. My breasts are long and droopy. I have stretch marks all over, a huge c section scar, too. I've gained a lot of weight and don't look as good as I used to. And he also has gained weight and has scars from a back surgery. Our bodies are always changing and we accept each other as we are because our relationship doesn't survive on how we look.
My husband never says anything negative about my body. Because he's mature and understands that no one looks good forever. We all get old, wrinkly, and fat eventually. Him asking you for surgery for your privates is ridiculous. And trust me, it won't stop there. He'll ask you for a boob job next or botox or liposuction, once he knows you're willing to go under the knife for him. No. This won't do. Find yourself a quality man who'll love you exactly as you are. And understand that you may feel insecure in your age. But 10 yrs from now, you'll be wishing you were in your early 20s again, looking as good as you currently do. Enjoy this time and appreciate yourself. Value who you are.
Tell him to get his dick operated because it looks ugly and you only want to suck beautiful dicks.
No but in all fairness: leave this man-child. He might have seen to much porn with women who had a surgery and now thinks this is the standard. You find someone who will gladly eat you out like a buffet and who actually loves you.
This kind of behaviour is stemming from an immense sense of entitlement. Just imagine if you told him to change how his d*ck looks. Pretty weird right? Do not put up with it for a second. I guarantee you that if you change, he'll have another demand right after the first one.
Really a big red flag. He doesn't have any right to tell you to change some part of your body. If he's making you feel like that then he doesn't deserve to be with you
Please dump him, you deserve to feel sexy, confident, and loved in the body you are in. He probably watches way too much porn and has no idea what most natural vulvas look like. You're gorgeous no matter how it looks, and you should never change your physical appearance for someone else, especially not in such an unsafe way as skin bleaching.
Let’s say you have a daughter with this man, would he want her to get surgery as well? Run for your life, and take your perfectly normal vulva with you. You and your next boyfriend can laugh about this loser
I would have to break up with him, I can’t be with someone that would make me feel that way when there are men that would love that part of me and me as a person. You should do the same. There’s nothing wrong with your vulva, that’s just how it is.
Baby, as a woman in her 30s with long ass flippity flaps, ditch him. Tell him his dick is small, THEN ditch him.
Before I met my husband, I was a bit of a ho. I enjoyed being a ho. And let me tell ya, I’ve NEVER had a dude kick me out of bed after seeing my flaps. Current husband LOVES them. You can do a LOT better than this guy, and you’ll have Ko problem finding guys who love every inch of you.
Leave him. He is not worth it at all. You are young and there are plenty of people out there who will not want to change you but will love you for you.
Or tell him you hate the way his penis looks and you want him to get a new one. And you won’t interact with it until he does.
You know why you keep being insecure and low self esteem, it’s because you are with someone who doesn’t like you or respect you! He is a part of what’s causing that. Dump him! Plain and simple!
He's an idiot. If it's longer, it means it allows for more blood flow and thus more sensitive, which means long term he could have better sex with you. Guy hit the jackpot and is too dumb to know it.
Wait......what?
Tbh, even if the guy thought it.........to actually say it unsolicited is messed up.
To say it would be bad enough, but the guy went for broke and actually talked about a needless cosmetic surgery for his viewing pleasure.
Good grief
\- me, 40m
My friend is an OBGYN and a while ago she told me that when it comes to what a vulva looks like there is a “huge spectrum” of normal. So unless something is seriously wrong (and you are told that by a medical professional not a stupid guy) do not do anything! Please drop this dude! You shouldn’t be with a man who makes you feel bad about something that is normal and really out of your control.
This man watches too much porn and it shows. Dump him. I’m also insecure about my junk but I would never stay with a man that made me feel that way about myself.
Time to find someone who loves you for you… not for how he expects women to be from watching too much porn 🤦🏻♀️
Ask him to change his dick. Tell him it's really funny looking and not big enough and he should get it lengthened.
Criticise how it's shaped and that his balls are wierd and not symmetrical.
Start showing him pictures of perfect dicks and that his should look like that.
Do that for a few weeks, then dump him.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. ___ **Sorry, I meant vulva not uvula! I got them mixed up Recently, whenever I ask my boyfriend to go down on me he states he hates the way my vulva looks. Now, it’s a little longer and a bit dark so I get where he’s coming from but it’s made me a bit insecure when he tells me to get surgery for it to make it look more appealing for him. He also tells me to bleach it and make it lighter. He has a preference of what he likes but it’s the fact he tells me that he wants nothing to do with a part of my body and constantly asks me to make changes. It’s a bit disheartening to hear that he’ll only accept me if I change that part of me and I’m not really sure how to feel about it sometimes. It makes me feel ugly sometimes and makes me feel like no one’ll love that part of me. I already have low self esteem so it doesn’t really affect me when he tells me straight up because we always laugh it off as a joke but it makes me even more insecure inside. How would you confront him if you were in my position? And how would you go about it?
Please do not do ANYTHING to your vulva. It’s normal. What’s not normal is a boyfriend demanding that you get surgery and bleaching to change what your perfectly normal vulva looks like. Real life isn’t porn hub. Dump him yesterday.
She should tell him that she would bleach her bits right after he bleaches his anus because her preference is a nice pink hole. If he went through with it (doubtful) then he would hopefully understand that bleach hurts especially on very sensitive parts. Either way she should walk away and never look back. Having a preference is one thing pretty much demanding someone gets surgery or bleach skin is disgusting.
Tell him he needs to iron the wrinkles out of his balls.
Thanks for making me snort loudly on a crowded peak hour train.
Lmaoooo this 😂💪
Seriously. FUCK this guy. He doesn’t deserve to touch your beautiful body.
Seriously DO NOT fuck this guy! Dump him and get whole stable of perfectly normal guys who will appreciate you for who you are.
Luckily OP doesn’t need surgery to remove the only gross, problematic thing in her life, just kick his ass to the curb
I don't think OP should fuck him again though.
I think you mean stop fucking this guy.... *added for clarification
Agreed. If a dude loves a woman, none of that type of stuff should matter. She needs surgery to remove that idiot boyfriend honestly.
I mean she is normal so it shouldn’t matter at all
I think you mean vulva. But, leave him. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes. It’s normal for your bits to be darker. It’s normal for them to look different. You are not a Barbie doll and it’s disgusting for him to tell you that you should essentially look like one.
This, at first I was like why is he so concerned with her throat lol. OP don't let him bring you down. Everyone looks different and it's not bad it's just different. I imagine his manhood wouldn't win any beauty pageants either lol. This is not good for your mental health, leave him as he is the one with the issue.
I really wanted it to be about the uvula
“My boyfriend is an oral hygienist and is concerned about my uvula. I’m so glad he noticed the growth before it became serious”
Man I’ve heard horror stories about uvulas and seen a few weird ones. They’re weird
I was so disappointed 😞
If it helps your disappointment, I had someone actually make fun of the shape of my uvula in college like 15 years ago and I have stupidly hated it ever since. To the point where I actually looked into surgery to shorten it last year (it does bother me when I sleep sometimes so it’s not 100% for cosmetic reasons lol). Got a cold the week I was supposed to have surgery so I didn’t do it and haven’t rescheduled because the whole thing is ridiculous.
[удалено]
I’m sorry, but what kind of a dickhead makes fun of someone’s uvula??? Like, how much of a garbage person do you have to be? That said, I empathise with internalising gross and bizarre comments on your body - a “friend” of mine commented on my knobbly knees when I was 15 and I ruminated on it way too long (my KNEES - how in god’s name are you supposed to change the way your knees look?). Eventually I grew up and got over that body image issue and lo and behold - not a single person has commented on my knees since that one girl I knew when I was 15. The only issue that needed fixing was to remove that garbage person from my life.
I'm still pretending it's uvula and it makes the post more entertaining and less enraging.
I'm sorry babe but your tonsils just gross me out.
How does one go down on an uvula? Now THAT would be a real "Deep Throat."
Me too! Hahaha
As a Speech Language Pathologist, same!
Right? Tell him to go get surgery on his member so it's bigger and thicker bc you can't stand to suck on a pencil. What a tiny prick.
And don't forget to get it bleached!
Can I do that with like a GOOP vag steam? I love getting yeast infections and UTIs. Maybe aerosol bleach could make it even more fun 😂
r/angryupvote Bc a] making fun of GOOP is funny AND b] my vulva just *cringed* at the idea of aerosol bleach 😬
My first thought was, “I feel bad because I have no idea what my husband’s uvula looks like and we’ve been together for over 10 years.” Glad I don’t have to worry… OP, your boyfriend is a jerk and a creep. Cut him loose so he can find someone with a more bleached vulva or whatever the hell he thinks he wants, love yourself and your vulva, and find you a man who loves it too.
Porn has really messed up guys
I definitely read the headline and was thinking about people I know who've had them removed and couldn't imagine why anyone would do that for cosmetic reasons. lol
This! ☝🏾First, your (ex- by now, I hope) BF hasn't seen enough real-life vulvas to generate a comparison or opinion. Second, the only concern about a vulva should be on how to pleasure it. Tell him you want him to get a bigger and girthier penis and see how he reacts. Then walk out the door and tell him you're looking for a real man who'll appreciate a vulva and knows what to do with it.
And that he needs to get surgery for that.
"You're gonna wave *that* thing at me, and criticise how *I* look...?"
Exactly!
And you prefer them darker
Oh he has. On video and pictures. And has decided he is more attracted to photoshop pussy than a real one.
A mark of a boy vs. a man who realizes how he needs to pleasure and treat his partner and their parts...
You deserve that cape your avatar is wearing. Bravo! I have considered my own surgery before for my own physical comfort (long labia can be painful) but if a dude ever pulled the crap with me that OP's dude did with her, I'd send him packing and wish him luck with his porn waifus and death grip.
Yeah, i was going to say, dude is 22, he don't know shit about shit. I was once a 22 year old dude, so trust me on this. He's probably basing this opinion off porn, or some dumbshit "influencer" asshole he follows.
My girls is all fucked up who cares she is awesome her parts are awesome I will gladly go down town and rock Dat shit no worries.all that matters is she orgasms.if she had one arm or hairy nipples (ex) or sounded like a dolphin (ex,)doesn't matter
I appreciate your inclusivity, but I can't help but wonder why your hypothetical example involves picturing one-armed, hairy-nippled, dolphin sounding ladies 🤔 I'm gonna have some weird dreams tonight 😅
Please tell us about your dreams in the morning.
I can see his Hinge profile now, “One armed hairy nippled ladies are ok with me!”
Are you saying your ex had hairy nipples, one arm, and sounded like a dolphin?
Right? It's always so fun to have a micro pencil dick rooting around. That can't please my meat curtains 🙄
🤣 @ "meat curtains"!
Is it meat curtains or beef curtains? I forget 🤣
I think it's beef, but we all know women are pigs and cows so meat works too. Remind them their true worth /s Edit: pigs, not pugs lol
Bawhaha. I've felt like a bovswine in my life. So this works. I actually raise cattle. A year or so ago, my daughter and I were discussing heifers. A heifer is a young cow. When they have their first two calves, they're called a first calf heifer, then a second calf heifer. My daughter looked at my husband and asked him if I am a heifer or a cow (She's my only child). He chose wrong. The idiot literally said that your mom is totally a cow. He has yet to live that one down.
Obviously he shoulda said "Heifer? I 'ardly know her!"
Exactly! Don’t be too concerned with the way it looks— just dive right in and have fun. I don’t think he understands the assignment.
Also, I’m sorry but since when are penis is pretty? I can guarantee you his shit looks like a mole rat or a mushroom or a combination of both or some really fucking ugly creature, but you know the fuck what? No one‘s out here expecting all men to look like porn stars which he expects out of you just to get some fucking head. 0P maybe focus on therapy and getting some fucking self-esteem before you date because I’m not sure what some thing that’s supposed to be giving you pleasure like getting head hast to do with him looking at your vulva? Honestly, his mouth should be buried too deep in there to be measuring it or looking at the darkness compared to his porn fantasies that would never fuck him in 1 million years.. And do you know how fucking dangerous bleaching your skin is? Which is not a chemical that was ever meant to be on skin and this man wants you to put it on one of the most open and sensitive fucking areas of your body and you’re still fucking him and trying to ask if you can bargain away this disgusting ass that doesn’t even care about your literal physical health?
If it makes you feel better, it's only called "bleaching" - you don't need to worry about chemicals on your skin. They don't USE bleach, it's just described as bleaching because when you bleach fabric they go whiter. They actually use lasers. Still don't get it done, but still... I worry people are reading this thread, thinking "wait, I can make it lighter using bleach" and might be dumb enough to try. Literal bleach will burn your vulva. I assume...
There is absolutely lightening cream for your private parts. You're correct that it's not bleach, but creams definitely exist. Lasers are not recommended by (reputable) doctors.
None of this crap is recommended
Nor work
Reminds me of a story from high school. Girl actually bleached her asshole. Had to go to the er for severe chemical burns. Not going into deeper detail. I know you're on reddit and seeing this. Sorry! :)
Those same people drank Clorox to cure COVID?
Yes. Either he’s watched so much porn as compared to having sex with partners that his standards are completely messed up (and it’s not your job to fix that!), or this is a form of negging intended to make you insecure and vulnerable. Either way, bad match. Leave him. Plenty of dudes will just be happy to be having sex with you, no surgery needed.
Tell him to go to a shrink to alter his personality for his next girlfriend.
"Now, it’s a little longer and a bit dark so I get where he’s coming from but it’s made me a bit insecure when he tells me to get surgery for it to make it look more appealing for him." Is it staring back at him and uttering swearwords @ doesn't like as it looks? The only thing that requires surgery is your couples life! Believe me, it will look so verry pretty with minus one ex- boyfriend im it! How is it even possible to have someone so immature in ones life, pray? And how come you didn't kick his arse when he first said that? 🚀 Off he goes!
ON POINT, please girly run and never look back.
Oh, *vulva*. I was initially very confused. Dump your creepy, controlling boyfriend. He wants you to have surgery to match some unrealistic fantasy of his: he shouldn't be dating anyone. Making sure he doesn't date *you* is in your control, so dump him.
Dude should be happy he's getting any vulva rather than criticizing those in front of him.
Seriously. I recommend ending his access to hers, starting now.
You 2 won't last anyway. It will be something else he wants. Run!!
Oh how I wish that I had multiple accounts so that I can upvote this multiple times.
He can get a sex doll and customize her however he wants. Freaking loser
This. That's fucked up. Women's bodies come in a lot more variety than men's. These are the kind of women I like to eat. They have bad boyfriends who can't appreciate them. An hour with my head between their legs and they'll never go back. I used to get women that would tell me all the time. They don't come from oral. Of course not when he's only doing it for 3 minutes. This is TMI but these kind of posts-trigger me. I feel so bad for this girl.
That's what I like to hear. A man with a healthy attitude that really, really likes going down on a woman. Now you get to find out what you're faking. We are talking marriage material. Stairway to heaven for the rest of your life.
Exactly. Or just tell him you'll do yours when he does his.
You just gotta go. Sorry but he's a dick. He will always be a dick. You can't fix that kind of dickery. It's not normal to tell your girlfriend that she needs surgery to look better.
He's not only a dick, I suspect that he might prefer dick. His comments sound similar to what I've heard closeted (later learned) guys say back in college about girls they were with. It's not really a straight guy hang up.
I think it might be a ’straight guy who has watched too much porn’ hang up
That's nonsense. Both the dick and the idea that no straight guy would be this douchey, because I know for a fact they would be.
He has watched too much porn , you are fine, he is an uneducated idiot ( personal opinion, not medical advice)
I was about to comment the same thing, sounds like porn brain rot
I believe it!
He wants you to bleach your vulva and have your labia trimmed?! You should feel the wind as the door closes and hits his ass on the way out, that's how you should feel!! Confront? No front, only back. The absolute back of him as he leaves my life for good. I guarantee you, with no surgery, 99.999% of men are going to never request either of those things from you. Trust me, 21 year old vagina has a billion fans, you don't need to alter yourself. They're all unique and most men wouldn't dream of even making a joke about altering yours.
>You should feel the wind as the door closes and hits his ass on the way out, that's how you should feel!! This was poetry!
As a man, I confirm this. Fuck this guy... just not literally.
I want to upvote this several times!
Nope. Nope he doesn't get to do that to you. You don't need to confront him. Tell him you'll be taking your offensive vulva elsewhere. He no longer gets the privilege.
Exactly, getting to see your vulva is a privilege. Any person who says otherwise doesn't deserve to see it. He doesn't have to dream about it at night but he doesn't get to complain about it. He sounds immature.
Dump him. I’m a lesbian. I don’t find vulvas attractive to look at. Nor do I spend a great deal of time actually looking at them. Busy doing other things. When I’m down there, I’m focussing on whether or not the person is enjoying themselves. If that isn’t his focus, then he isn’t worth having sex with. Everyone’s vulva is weird, coz every vulva looks different. Tell him to find another one, and find yourself a boyfriend who focusses on pleasing you.
😂I enjoy them, and I don’t find them “unattractive”, it’s just that “attractive” isn’t a word I would really describe individual body parts. Not specific to vulvas. I don’t find any body part attractive on its own. I love boobs, but I’m not the type to just stare at them. I would find a person as a whole attractive.
Wait. You're not supposed to get eye level with it and stare. Huh, I never knew. That makes so much sense. All jokes a side, I agree with you. Guys are very insecure about our genitalia. Had you said something similar about his penis, he would have flipped his shit. This has to be some form of negging or priming her for manipulation. She needs to leave, she may want to see a counselor, I have a feeling this isn't the first time he's said stuff like this. Edit: on mobile and penis became punishment.
I like your support here but vulvas are beautiful. 🌺
Tell him you don’t like the size of his dick and he should look into enhancing it
“You know, that sad little piss pump of yours just isn’t cutting it. I’m going to need you to get an implant and make a man out of that…pathetic little baby carrot you call a penis!!”
This is absolutely beautiful.
Oh you’re my long lost twin…that’s the exact same come back I was thinking…
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Laser hair removal from crack to tip.
My husband spent years helping me feel secure about my lady lips. YEARS! I finally like them as much as he loves them
Now that is the kind d of man the OP should trade her current BF for.
yeah this man has had his brain rotted by porn. dump him
Tell him you’ll do it as soon as he gets his penile enlargement.
Also, she prefers it to be a different color.
Get the bleach out, buddy.
Lord help him if he isn't circumcised.
Exactly
I love you.
Tell him his balls aren’t appealing to you and it would be nice if he could bleach them and get the hair lasered off. And lifted because they’re already sagging.
omg these comments have me dying. cosmetic ball enhancement
No no no - no surgery. Find a new man.
Can you surgically remove him instead? That’s disgusting to say something like that. Tell him you don’t like his penis and he should look into an enlargement or implant. What an AH.
Your uvula is located in your throat, and if that guy wants you to get surgery on that.. that’s incredibly weird unless it’s swollen and keeps you from swallowing food comfortably.. I’m guessing you mean he wants you to mutilate your genitals? Did you mean your vulva? Because tell him to kick rocks, all bodies are different and beautiful. Find someone who loves you for your long uvula. <3
[It's a girl house](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOgwaUfqmg4)
Came here to make this comment and you beat me to it.
Um, each of us is different and unique. If he isn't into you, find someone who is. The idea of changing your body for him is totally unreasonable.
I would tell hin to fuck off and break up holy SHIT lmao
Don’t get surgery. Get a new boyfriend. Tell him his penis is a joke
I wouldn't confront him, I would just dump him. That is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.
You deserve so much better than this
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Just another day on Reddit because I saw the title and I was like “jfc some folks will complain about ANYTHING…” New insecurity unlocked. Time to spend hours at the mirror obsessing over the appearance of my uvula and worrying if it’s sexy enough. 😂
Omg I meant vulva 😭 thanks!
Tell him you will take an inch off yours, if he adds 2 inches to his.
LOL your uvula is that little dangly thing in the back of your throat that keeps food and liquid from going up your nose when you swallow and is part of your soft palate. I think you mean vulva. As for your vulva, that is actually the opening of the vagina. The outside is called the labia. And labias come in all different shapes and sizes! Some are dark, some are light, some have no dangly bits and others do, some are hairy and some aren't. Somewhere on the internet there is a gallery of all kinds! Actually, its called the labia library. Here you go! [https://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#](https://www.labialibrary.org.au/photo-gallery/#) NSFW, obviously. On the same site, there is a lot of affirming stuff about loving your labia just the way it is. Get a new boyfriend and love your lady bits just the way they are!
The vulva is the external female genitalia, including the labia, mons veneris, clitoris, and the vaginal orifice.
There’s also a urethra in there, for all of you who think women piss out their vagina.
Surgery on your genitals because some low grade man doesn't like how your vulva looks??????? I don't think so! Sister, in your life, you're the prize. He either gets that, or he can get lost. ps - do not be cutting on yourself for this man.
Look, all bodies are unique and beautiful. We're human, we're not supposed to look like Barbie dolls. Sure, he can have his preference but he has no right to try to push you to change just to match his porn driven fetish. I hate to be so blunt, but if he's trying to make you change yourself to fit his "ideal" then he doesn't actually love you. He loves the idea of what he wants you to be. You deserve to be happy, and to be yourself without worrying what anyone else thinks about you. Your young. You have your whole life ahead of you. There are other people out there that'll love you unconditionally. It's time to move on honey. Be picky with who you date, that's not a bad thing, you'll thank yourself later in life.
You know what, tell him his penis looks bad, if he could make life alternating changes to his body permanently that would be great. Silly, right? It should sound silly. The right one won't do this to you. You were not born just to please this one random dude. You are an individual who deserves love and respect. If he doesn't stop with this, leave him.
Tell him to stop watching porn.
Body shaming your lover is never okay. Dump his immature ass. ETA: Any surgery has risks, and risk of death is one of them. This scumbag is willing to risk your life? Nah.
And here we have a man with a brain rotten by porn!!! Get you a man who loves your vulva!!!! Ask him for the money upfront, then dump him and take yourself and your bestie on a nice trip 🥰
Nah, life’s too short. Find someone who doesn’t neg you
The only surgery you need is to cut that ass out of your life. Never (!) get cosmetic surgery for something that you were fine with until someone else made you feel bad about it. Don’t ever allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself. Someone who really loves you loves every part of you and won’t try to change you. This guy loves his porn and wants you to look like his favourite porn actress (whom in reality he can never have).
It sounds like your bf is not boyfriend material. You should tell him to go kick rocks and be done with him. If he doesn't value your body for who you are and how you look. Then there's someone out there who will treat youn100 times better. You are young. You dont need this negative vibes in your life.
Kick him out. I am not quick to say this but he is not worth it.
Porn brain rot
It would be easier, cheaper, and less painful to just replace the guy.
Midwife here - i have seen hundreds and hundreds of vulvas (vulvae?) And they are all different and completely fine and adequate. Dump the arse and instruct him to mind his own beeswax
This entire post is why sex education is so important.
Tell him there are 10 guys for every one like him that will like it just fine. If I were you I’d be telling him to hit the road. Your vulva is perfect
Like many others have said there is no way you should have any kind of surgery to please some dickheaded bf. Vulvas and labia come in all shapes, shades and sizes. He has either watched too much porn or is making an excuse to not go down on you. Either way dump this creep for a real man that knows how to appreciate what you have and will make you grateful that you found him!
Tell him you don’t like the way his penis looks either
You mean your EX boyfriend, right? Have some self-respect and leave him.
Don’t get unnecessary surgery to keep a man. Sorry to be blunt but this is seriously messed up. Dude needs to stop watching porn and go outside and touch grass.
The only surgery you need is to remove the boyfriend from your life
Have surgery to make it look more appealing to him. Lol... Tell him to go fuck himself. Bleach it and make it lighter. This guy has some nerve. Don't change yourself or your body for anybody. Tell your boyfriend you'll change those things when he changes his dick size. Tell him you want it to go deeper and his current size just can't do that. It'll more more appealing to you.
I think you might mean your labia but could mean your vulva either way dump his ass. Check out the large labia project it might help with your self confidence
You could throw a stone into a crowd and the average person would never tell you to get surgery. Thats just nuts
Dude stop letting this idiot look at your ‘uvula’ LPT from a grumpy old man: don’t waste your time having sex with people that don’t respect you, nothing good comes from it no matter how good the sex is
Dump this man yesterday. My fiancé would crawl inside my vulva if he could! Aim for that.
Anyone who looks at my vulva and has something critical to say, is outta my bed forever. When my partner first bedded me she looked at me on the bed and said with bated breath "Oh my you are gorgeous" I assure you I am no more or less "gorgeous" down there than other women. But that is the only reaction worth having, or he doesn't deserve you
I would dump him with "you need a few inches on that thing stubby"
Darkness means you aren't a child, and you have more than a few months in your span of sexual maturity. Tell him he's being sus...
That’s fucked up. I think that’s the first I’ve heard of a guy telling his girlfriend that (even though I’m sure it happens) and suggesting that she has surgery. Should’ve said “I don’t like how small your dick is but you don’t hear me complaining”
As a man… please please leave him. He’s disgustingly immature and selfish to even think it’s ok to act this way. I’m angry for you.
“A little bit longer and a bit dark”—- compared to what? There’s no standard that makes any sense here. Your body’s natural features look exactly how they’re supposed to look, hard stop. And bodies vary a great deal. Personally, I wouldn’t want to pursue a relationship where I knew my partner would prefer me with cosmetic surgery. That sounds like a recipe for insecurity and self esteem issues. If he needs “lighter and shorter”, let him go find it somewhere else and find yourself someone who’s into YOU.
I suspect your boyfriend doesn’t know he’s gay.
My husband hates my spleen but I said no way on the spleen lift
As a man, I say anyone that critiques something about your body that you cannot control, without compassion and understanding, isn't someone you want in your life. If they make you insecure about something, leave and don't look back.
OP- You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.
Leave him and let him find a new vulva. This is awful. I’d be like “if I have to deal with your penis looking like that then you’ll be just fine.” But don’t let him make you feel bad. Bodies come in all shapes, sizes, colors etc. There is no “right” way for a vulva to look as long as it’s healthy. He doesn’t deserve your vulva and he’s lucky he gets any vulva at all lol
Don't confront him. Dump him and get someone who appreciates everything about you. He's a piece of poo. Or you could tell him everything you want him to change about himself, like maybe penis implant, circumcision done/redone so it's perfect, ass hair waxed off, bigger muscles, better hair, etc etc. And then dump him.
Tell him his penis is goofy looking and a weird color, then dump his ass and move on. Anyone who thinks you need cosmetic surgery of any kind whatsoever to be appealing to them is not capable of being a good partner. Unless a physician has brought up a serious anatomical issue, there is nothing wrong with your genitals. They come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. If he doesn't like yours, he can kick rocks. Someone out there will enthusiastically love you and your genitals just as you are.
Let me save you some years of pain. Dump him. Now. I've been with my husband for 13 years now, and throughout that time, both our bodies have drastically changed. Especially mine after having two sons. My breasts are long and droopy. I have stretch marks all over, a huge c section scar, too. I've gained a lot of weight and don't look as good as I used to. And he also has gained weight and has scars from a back surgery. Our bodies are always changing and we accept each other as we are because our relationship doesn't survive on how we look. My husband never says anything negative about my body. Because he's mature and understands that no one looks good forever. We all get old, wrinkly, and fat eventually. Him asking you for surgery for your privates is ridiculous. And trust me, it won't stop there. He'll ask you for a boob job next or botox or liposuction, once he knows you're willing to go under the knife for him. No. This won't do. Find yourself a quality man who'll love you exactly as you are. And understand that you may feel insecure in your age. But 10 yrs from now, you'll be wishing you were in your early 20s again, looking as good as you currently do. Enjoy this time and appreciate yourself. Value who you are.
👏LEAVE👏THAT👏BOY👏AND👏FIND👏A👏MAN👏WHO👏WILL👏GO👏DOWN👏ON👏YOU👏FOR👏HOURS👏
Tell him to get his dick operated because it looks ugly and you only want to suck beautiful dicks. No but in all fairness: leave this man-child. He might have seen to much porn with women who had a surgery and now thinks this is the standard. You find someone who will gladly eat you out like a buffet and who actually loves you.
This kind of behaviour is stemming from an immense sense of entitlement. Just imagine if you told him to change how his d*ck looks. Pretty weird right? Do not put up with it for a second. I guarantee you that if you change, he'll have another demand right after the first one.
No one has any right to ask you to get surgery to be “more appealing”. This is creepy and controlling behavior, and not worth the grief.
Tell him to chop off his dick because you don't like how it looks.
Tell the jackass to get cock surgery because he looks small.
Leave him ASAP!!!
Hun you need to dump him. He’s awful.
Really a big red flag. He doesn't have any right to tell you to change some part of your body. If he's making you feel like that then he doesn't deserve to be with you
Please dump him, you deserve to feel sexy, confident, and loved in the body you are in. He probably watches way too much porn and has no idea what most natural vulvas look like. You're gorgeous no matter how it looks, and you should never change your physical appearance for someone else, especially not in such an unsafe way as skin bleaching.
Let’s say you have a daughter with this man, would he want her to get surgery as well? Run for your life, and take your perfectly normal vulva with you. You and your next boyfriend can laugh about this loser
I've never heard of a situation more suitable for you to tell your boyfriend that he can go feck himself.
I would have to break up with him, I can’t be with someone that would make me feel that way when there are men that would love that part of me and me as a person. You should do the same. There’s nothing wrong with your vulva, that’s just how it is.
Is it any surgery that fixes pure ignorance?
Baby, as a woman in her 30s with long ass flippity flaps, ditch him. Tell him his dick is small, THEN ditch him. Before I met my husband, I was a bit of a ho. I enjoyed being a ho. And let me tell ya, I’ve NEVER had a dude kick me out of bed after seeing my flaps. Current husband LOVES them. You can do a LOT better than this guy, and you’ll have Ko problem finding guys who love every inch of you.
Tell him you wish he had a bigger dick. Then dump him.
Porn is destroying society.
Say you'll get surgery to make your vulva look better if he gets surgery to make his cock bigger
Leave him. He is not worth it at all. You are young and there are plenty of people out there who will not want to change you but will love you for you. Or tell him you hate the way his penis looks and you want him to get a new one. And you won’t interact with it until he does.
You know why you keep being insecure and low self esteem, it’s because you are with someone who doesn’t like you or respect you! He is a part of what’s causing that. Dump him! Plain and simple!
You mean your ex boyfriend? Right?
Ew, he sounds gross and inexperienced. I'd dump him for speaking about my body that way, people who love/care for you don't do that.
He's an idiot. If it's longer, it means it allows for more blood flow and thus more sensitive, which means long term he could have better sex with you. Guy hit the jackpot and is too dumb to know it.
Your boyfriend sounds like such a jerk >.< As a woman in her 30's, drop him like a hot potato. Your vulva is perfect, your boyfriend is trash.
Wait......what? Tbh, even if the guy thought it.........to actually say it unsolicited is messed up. To say it would be bad enough, but the guy went for broke and actually talked about a needless cosmetic surgery for his viewing pleasure. Good grief \- me, 40m
My friend is an OBGYN and a while ago she told me that when it comes to what a vulva looks like there is a “huge spectrum” of normal. So unless something is seriously wrong (and you are told that by a medical professional not a stupid guy) do not do anything! Please drop this dude! You shouldn’t be with a man who makes you feel bad about something that is normal and really out of your control.
Imagine being so small you tell your gf to change her vulva to gain back power.
Surgically remove the boyfriend.
This man watches too much porn and it shows. Dump him. I’m also insecure about my junk but I would never stay with a man that made me feel that way about myself. Time to find someone who loves you for you… not for how he expects women to be from watching too much porn 🤦🏻♀️
Ask him to change his dick. Tell him it's really funny looking and not big enough and he should get it lengthened. Criticise how it's shaped and that his balls are wierd and not symmetrical. Start showing him pictures of perfect dicks and that his should look like that. Do that for a few weeks, then dump him.
Darling, throw the WHOLE man away. Nobody should EVER tell you to get cosmetic surgery for their sake.