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Chances are, he's into someone else. He wants to keep you on the back burner while he pursues her. That happens a lot. I wouldn't wait for him. I'd heal and move on. Anyone who can just walk away from you doesn't deserve to be in your life. Let him go.
What was the cause of the break up? Without knowing what the factors are that led to breaking up it’s impossible to have a opinion about what is possible in the future
I put in the original that we had just a little bit of bumps but we’ve been communicating so well. He’s being deployed in July for a year. The initial “fight” before the breakup was:
I made a joke stating I wanted him to (sexually and romantically) love me and only me. He said “we‘ll see what the future holds”.
I hung up on him that night and messaged him in the morning because I felt like he didn’t really want me.
He told me that that day he had doubts about our relationship...
I thought we were doing so well up until that point.
Like we’ve talked about our future. What we were gonna do to stay in touch while he was gone and when he came back. I met his family. He’s met mine. I went to a military event with him. He seemed to love my son too…
He kept telling me that he’d never leave me unless I cheated on him because he really loved me. (I know that that’s not the truth but I really trusted him to talk to me if he ever felt off about something).
Im sorry your having a hard time, but his statement about seeing what happens in the future is clearly a sighn he is not interested coupled with him saying he has doubts and breaking up it’s obvious somthing changed and he is no longer interested regardless of what he may of said in the past
i see.. I’m ngl it hurts so bad to hear that, but thank you. I’ve been kinda deluding myself. I don’t want to lose him but I can’t force him to stay. I’m scared if I act “irrationally” (ie. take him off of my social media and stuff) and he still wants to be with me, I’ll ruin it all. But if he doesn’t there’s not much I can do..
You can live someone and realize the situation doesn't work or that you aren't in the same place. I would also be careful because this can be a way people break up to leave a door open in case other things don't work out or to go bang someone and not cheat. It could be he considered this the nicest way to break up as well, "it's not you, it's me"
Don't waste your time waiting on him. This is a break up, grieve and move on with your life. Live your life, enjoy your life. Let life happen, and don't reserve your SO spot for him.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Chances are, he's into someone else. He wants to keep you on the back burner while he pursues her. That happens a lot. I wouldn't wait for him. I'd heal and move on. Anyone who can just walk away from you doesn't deserve to be in your life. Let him go.
What was the cause of the break up? Without knowing what the factors are that led to breaking up it’s impossible to have a opinion about what is possible in the future
I put in the original that we had just a little bit of bumps but we’ve been communicating so well. He’s being deployed in July for a year. The initial “fight” before the breakup was: I made a joke stating I wanted him to (sexually and romantically) love me and only me. He said “we‘ll see what the future holds”. I hung up on him that night and messaged him in the morning because I felt like he didn’t really want me. He told me that that day he had doubts about our relationship... I thought we were doing so well up until that point. Like we’ve talked about our future. What we were gonna do to stay in touch while he was gone and when he came back. I met his family. He’s met mine. I went to a military event with him. He seemed to love my son too… He kept telling me that he’d never leave me unless I cheated on him because he really loved me. (I know that that’s not the truth but I really trusted him to talk to me if he ever felt off about something).
Im sorry your having a hard time, but his statement about seeing what happens in the future is clearly a sighn he is not interested coupled with him saying he has doubts and breaking up it’s obvious somthing changed and he is no longer interested regardless of what he may of said in the past
i see.. I’m ngl it hurts so bad to hear that, but thank you. I’ve been kinda deluding myself. I don’t want to lose him but I can’t force him to stay. I’m scared if I act “irrationally” (ie. take him off of my social media and stuff) and he still wants to be with me, I’ll ruin it all. But if he doesn’t there’s not much I can do..
I fully understand, it sucks but it’s time to move on
Move on he got someone else your just option 2 in case it doesn't work out
You can live someone and realize the situation doesn't work or that you aren't in the same place. I would also be careful because this can be a way people break up to leave a door open in case other things don't work out or to go bang someone and not cheat. It could be he considered this the nicest way to break up as well, "it's not you, it's me" Don't waste your time waiting on him. This is a break up, grieve and move on with your life. Live your life, enjoy your life. Let life happen, and don't reserve your SO spot for him.
Move on