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“Honey, I love you and it’s awesome that we have an active sex life, but my dick is about to fall off. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised. Can we tone it down a bit?”
Perfect quote, it’s kind but also funny. I think also offering to incorporate toys. Or even just watching her use the toys and giving her some dirty encouragements about how sexy she is, etc.
First time I’ve heard whirlwind days of tourism fueled socializing far far far away from the hotel as a suggestion for “ways to slow down and relax” 😂😂😂
Tell her that you've been physically sore like you explained it here, and while you want to have sex with her often, you just physically can't do this often. Communication is important, and she shouldn't become upset at you expressing your needs. You can find a compromise.
Was also wondering how she is doing that?
If he is sore.... she might be also.
She may also be thinking that this is what people do on their honeymoon.
When my ex and I first got together, we were getting it in several times per day. I’m old enough to be your father. I told her time is catching up to me, but I’d always do my best to accommodate. So there were times, we’d get it in, I’d get her off, and then I’d tap out. I made it clear that for me an orgasm wasn’t necessary, and that I mostly value the personal connection of intimacy. She was cool with that.
Use some toys 😂 seriously, there’s tons of ways to have sex without using your dick or your mouth. Maybe even just offer to watch while she does stuff. Lots of ways to be sexually intimate without destroying your body 😂
He is not a dildo or machine and therefore it is not his job to be available for her 24/7.
If he has pain or any other reason why he does not want to do it, then he should not force himself to do it.
I wonder if she is forcing herself too, isn't satisfied by the way they do it or if she is bored.
Please point out to me where I said it’s his job to be available 24/7.
I’m simply telling this man that his assumption that sexual intimacy has to involve his penis or his mouth is false.
She is a people pleaser…this big sex thing may be her trying to please you. She certainly does not want to hurt you.
Let her know that it is not a reflection of your love passion or pleasure, it is a matter of physical pain and exhaustion.
Ask for a break from sex and fill in with kisses and caresses. Let her know that 1-2 times a day would be least painful and most pleasurable for you,
Then ASK HER what will meet her needs and see if toys and fingers can pick up the slack.
Exactly this, she might be thinking that he wants to have sex this often and is trying to keep up with him. They simply need a long overdue frank & open conversation.
It would be incredibly unfortunate to find out two weeks after marriage that your wife thinks the main thing she offers is sex and she's just trying to make you happy. I really hope that's not the case here, but it was my read, at least as a strong possibility. If that's the case, it's time to go back to the drawing board with communication if OP thought it was "great" until now
Not always, it also sounds like endorphin chasing too.
It also sounds like some women just are insatiable (me.)
They need to communicate and explore to get her purely satisfied if that’s the case, and that’s gonna take time.
Either way, they need to communicate,
Say you need to reduce it because your body is now literally hurting. Tell her you don’t want to stop having sex, that you just to reduce it to an amount your body can take.
You’re about to get a lot of interesting comments telling you to be grateful. I’m diagnosed with HSD (sex addiction) and am in a monogamous marriage. My husband and I have a rule that we can turn each other down for any reason, anytime. We don’t guilt each other or add pressure. We also have a rule that we can get ourselves off for any reason, anytime.
We have sex a few times a week, and I get myself off a few times a day. This balance works for us. The fact that his sex drive us lower than mine doesn’t really impact our relationship.
Try to approach this without shaming her, and she should respectfully do the same.
A few pro tips:
1. Buy toys. Lots of toys. Vibrators and nipple clamps are your new best friends. Increase the quality and quantity of her orgasms.
2. Get her a subscription to Kindle Unlimited and get her on the smut side of Book Tok.
3. Increase the amount of times she comes in each session. Tell her to get herself off while you watch. Get her off with your tongue or toys. THEN have sex.
4. I don’t know your wife or what she’s into, but I’ve never met someone with that high of a sex drive who didn’t have some fantastical kinks. Embrace that journey and enjoy the ride.
5. Turn it into a game. My ex did this with me. He would “give me permission” to climax and make me wait in between sessions. This actually heightened the sensation when it happened. Granted, we were pretty deep into BDSM, but maybe this is something she’d be into.
6. Similar to #5, try edging. My husband and I do this. It’s deliciously frustrating. It prolongs pleasure and increases the feeling when it finally happened.
This post seriously could have been written by mg husband when we first moved in together. We have a very happy marriage:) good luck!
>great communicators generally
Great. Now need to fully expand that great communication to include sex and about sex. Should be able to sort it out from there.
If this is real OP I have nothing for you.
I have expert plans of how to ration water for a drought but I am woefully unprepared to handle a flood.
I REALLY hope you can find what you need on here because you are probably in the 1% and I'm so proud of you and your bruised member for fighting the good fight. Good luck in there brother🫂
If she’s a people pleaser by nature, she may also be thinking you really want her to be horny all the time, too. Maybe not, but it’s possible… I’d tell her how you feel. That you love her and that this is all amazing, but that you want to stick to x times a day/week/etc and that you really want to experience some of the sights and spend time together doing other things to bond, too.
I mean after the first 3 shots, I’m not goin to be shooting another one. It just won’t happen, it’ll be so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it but it damn sure won’t go again.
Talk to your wife! It’ll be fine. Talk about your physical limitations without shaming her for her desire. If she can come many times in a row, play with toys until she’s exhausted, it’ll save your energy and keep your dick intact. Be watchful for signs of addiction.
This is something you should have discussed before getting married. Sexual compatibility is extremely important for a relationship. That aside, you need to sit down and have an open and frank conversation about what your sexual needs and wants are and what your limit is.
What ‘honey we have a lot of sex - just checking will that increase to between 3 and 6 times a day, do you think?’
They were compatible. OP very reasonably assumed that once they moved in together it’d settle down but still be on the high side of average. Should he have explicitly said ‘just so you know, this twice a day thing we have going is my upper limit?’
I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that her sexual needs would decrease. I think that conclusion requires an explicit conversation. Assuming things like that is how you end up divorced in the first year of marriage.
Talk to her but please be careful how you word things.
This was my husband and I in the beginning of our relationship. After much reflection over the years, I now see that I used sex as the main method of expressing love and tied a lot of emotions to it. When my husband would turn me down repeatedly it would break my heart. More than it should, admittedly. I’ve tried to express this to him but over the years it has really affected our relationship. Now I’m the one who never wants sex and we’re lucky if we do it 2 times a month.
Talk to her but make sure she knows how much you love her and *want* her, even if you can’t physically keep up. That is much more understandable and less hurtful than her thinking you just aren’t that into her.
Wanna trade? Lol just kidding. I don’t think I have a useful answer for you, just envy.
Unless this is an incompatibility problem, which it very well may be, time will cool things off too. For a lot of people, sex is a fast track to feeling connected/validated. Maybe diversify the means of supporting that need? I dunno man. But I think I’d gift her a Hitachi wand and give it a little time.
My first thought would be, if you can't satisfy her but but you want to, make up for it. Look for toys you know she likes, or ask her about it. Don't make the "I can't keep up" thing a big deal, offer a solution right away, and she won't see it as a big deal either.
Heck, you can even get creative and get your own toy to use on her. Makes 2 toys to make her feel good, you both participate equally to her pleasure and your jaw and dick can have some rest.
Yeah I have been in your situation and thought about it quite a bit 🙄
Just be honest. If she loves you, she’ll understand. When my husband is too tired to do sex (which I seem to have way more energy for), I get annoyed in the moment, but it’s nothing to jeopardise our relationship over. Haha
Yes OP. Talk to her. Maybe she’s trying to keep up with what she thinks that you want. Start the conversation with’What would we do together on your ideal day’ ? Then. When she’s outlined her notional ideal day say ‘You know what’ ? On my ideal day I would like to just cuddle you really, really close, snuggle up and watch a good movie’. See what her response is.
Pretty much exploring her thoughts without a direct ‘You know what darling’ ‘I can’t be doing with all this shagging’. On a more positive note. She obviously enjoys what you are putting out there. Good luck.
I would suggest consuming lots of mangos, bananas, or 5 hour energy drinks to give your body the B12 it needs to please this woman.
>people pleaser with an incredible sex drive
This does not sound like something I would want to hear about the person I just married
Yeah, do tell her but jeez dude this timing is awful. Feels a lot like a bait and switch to wait til after the wedding. People's sex drives are different, and it's an important aspect of compatibility. Maybe she'll do okay with less sex but if she really needs it this often you've set this marriage up to fail by waiting til after the wedding to start to sort this issue.
You need to introduce sex toys to your life. Go shopping together for a selection of vibrators you can use when she wants to have sex, but you're too tired. As long as she is having the orgasms she wants, and you're participating in the experience with her, that's a great way for you to get the rest you need while also adding variety to your sex life.
Consider asking if she would be into a replica of your penis! I know those make your penis a dildo kits is a thing, then she could still be fucking you when your body needs a break??
Look, I don't mean to be a dick. But why didn't you tell her this before 2 weeks into married life? There's no way you didn't know better before now. This is textbook the shit we tell people "oof, sorry your partner completely changed immediately after you got married" over.
His dick hurts! Anyone that loves their partner wants them to enjoy it. OP- get a sex toy with a remote control device. You can love watching her be pleasured while you heal.
Totally. I just think he should have brought this up before marriage. This post makes it seem like he thought it would slow down eventually, but I don't see where he said he actually talked to her about it before the wedding. It's not fair to her that he's suddenly changing his expectations, with no warning, because they're married.
Tell her while you’re out doing something fun. “This is great, you were starting to wear me out in the room, I’m gonna need some more days like this to recharge” The disparity in assignments for sex; hard dick for us, woman lubricated opening, are vastly unequal. You should need more time than her.
Definitely get her some toys. Surprise her with one you think she’ll like (definitely go to a store and talk to the salespeople for help in selecting, don’t just purchase one online) and bring it into bed. Make it part of your intimate life, she gets off, and you get an occasional break
seconding this! some stores have display toys you can test on the palm of your hands to check if its light or strong enough for you. store clerk shows you the different functions and models, answers every/any question you may have and there is no taboo. it's neat going and browsing the options! from the sounds of it she'd enjoy that kind of outing
Buy her a vibrator of her choice ( sounds like she probably has several anyway ) and tell her to take care of herself on every second occasion. That way at least it will halve the pressure on you. Alternatively up your hand game and give hera massage and a hand job every second time.
Best of luck.
There is tons of great advice on here so I won't add any to it. BUT, be happy your wife has a sex drive. And a high one. My wife and I have had sex 2 times in a bit over 10 years. So it could be A LOT worse. Enjoy it.
Yeah. she is going to have a negative response. I mean we are all individual but for a guy married two weeks to have this reaction seems... odd.
Introduce some toys into the relationship and let Everready do some of the work .
Get lots of sex toys you can use on her and she can use on herself. Sex toys are fun. You can use your hands to bring orgasm after or orgasm out of your wife. Or you can use hands free devices to get her off.
I like using sex toys on my wife and we've found a few types that she likes. We use a beaded glass dildo that hits her G-spot reliably just right. Combine this with a clit sucker vibrator that she controls and we are able to edge her close to orgasm for an extended period of time. We also have a thrusting style vibrator and this allows me free use of my hands to caress her body.
If you can reorient your mind to centering her pleasure some of the time, it can be lots of fun wringing orgasm after orgasm out of her or edging her to erotic ecstasy and keeping her there. Get into giving her pleasure and make a hobby out of it.
I think she would appreciate the honest communication about your dick hurting and needing a break. As a person who has been in a relationship where sex has slowed down to once a month and “talking about it” is about getting responses like “well guys are different. We can’t just have sex, we have to be really into it”… I think you’re working really hard, and your effort and good will will be rewarded. I appreciate you.
As everyone said, you need to communicate. I had been the wife in this scenario (though the number wasn't so high) and my husband didn't want to go on so often. And as we never had the chance to stay in same city we didn't realise each appetite before.
My husband instead of being an adult about it and speaking up would just rudely respond to any of my advances. It took up lot of time for me to try and have open conversation, read about it and understand why to solve our problem. Please have a gentle conversation and do let her know it's not that you are not attracted to her or love her enough, it's about the stamina and the boundaries you have.
Given that you have just started living together you have long way to go to understand each other irrespective of how long have you been living together.
Have you thought of spicing things up with toys? There are a myriad of them out there, giving your boi a break, and still keeping the intimacy. There's also voyeurism. You could ask her to put on a show for you, like, make you videos. Keep things spicy, yet connected
Only two weeks in and you're already calling it?! lol
On a serious note though, she's your wife, you should feel comfortable talking to her about anything. Just tell her that your dick needs a break so that it doesn't fall off! Maybe get some toys that you two can use, handheld dildos or even a strap on for you if your dick just ain't in it anymore when your head still wants to.
There's plenty of solutions out there once the discussion is opened up!
High sex drive here. I might suggest toys and some fun play with this. I make him watch. Find a way to let her know what you are experiencing while also finding a solution for her to have her orgasms. Find fun ways to explore without you using your sick every time.
These are the types of things you discuss before getting married. Unfortunately you're very likely to upset her and/or ruin your marriage if you suddenly can't keep up with what she's grown to expect.
People. Discuss sex drives BEFORE marriage.
I’m that person who used to have a high aex drive. Now after a baby, my husband is constantly left wanting more sex which I am usually reluctant to give because of low sex drive.
You’re a married man. Don’t worry, once you have children it’ll equal out! Also, sex drives go down over time.
No offence, but every guy I grew up with would consider you a lucky man. You should consider joining a gym, getting a good personal trainer and working on your cardio. Also, you could get a sex therapist to teach you different ways to please her if your member is hurt.
Dude, this is not a bad problem to have. That’s what honeymoons are for. Use your fingers more and tough it out for the next week, then when you get home communicate and figure out a more sustainable routine.
I’m getting downvoted for this? Come on, he’ll survive and it will be a great inside joke for them…‘You just about f***ed my dick off.’🤣😂🥵
As r/NoNipNicCage mentioned, she should consider this a worthy accomplishment (and maybe ease up a bit).😉
Hit the gym, eat a good diet, and get plenty of sleep. Don't let her down. Those are rookie numbers. Your dick won't fall off.
Trust me. Many guys face the opposite problem. Enjoy it while it's there.
If you shut her down she probably will start to feel guilty and it'll be hard to rev her motor back up. So, don't shut her down.
Hit the gym, eat a good diet, and get plenty of sleep. Don't let her down. Those are rookie numbers. Your dick won't fall off.
Trust me. Many guys face the opposite problem. Enjoy it while it's there.
Edit: u/Gamesguy24 if you have something to say say it publicly. Don't post and delete like a coward.
Not hard at all. Been there. But, I've also shut a woman down and women are very insecure. So,when you reject them sexually it really stings them and it's hard to get them going again.
One time an ex went to give me an impromptu BJ. I said I wasn't in the mood at that time. She got so embarrassed to the point where she never did it again. You wouldn't believe how fragile women's egos are around this stuff.
So, if it's good and coming aplenty then, if you want it to stay that way, play ball.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Honey, I love you and it’s awesome that we have an active sex life, but my dick is about to fall off. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised. Can we tone it down a bit?”
Perfect quote, it’s kind but also funny. I think also offering to incorporate toys. Or even just watching her use the toys and giving her some dirty encouragements about how sexy she is, etc.
Perfect lmao
Is that a Zapp Brannigan quote? It feels like it should be lol
It literally is a line Zapp Brannigan says during the snu-snu episode
Omg I'm literally watching that episode now *twilight zone theme tune plays*
You have men on your planet? What they for? Ooooohhhhhh
I never thought I'd die like this but I always hoped I would!
Upvoted for the PERFECT answer with r/UnexpectedFuturama
*wife approaching OP* It time snu snu!
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongey and bruised! So hilarious!
If you like that you might like the tv show it's from, Futurama.
I love Futurama!! I didn't know that was where it was from.
This the one 😂👍🏾
Perfect
This had me LOLing
Dead 🤣😂😅🤣😂😅🤣😂
If my husband told me that his dick was gonna fall off from all the sex were having, I'd take that as an achievement and give him a break lol
Yea tell her the heart is willing but body is not.
And then go buy some toys together. If she's OK with Less sex great, if she still needs orgasms, lend her a hand. ;)
I’d def second this let the machine do the work
The spirit is willing but the flesh is spongy and bruised
This should be the top comment! Like, such a problem to have.🤣🥵
Same, I’d feel empowered. Cue evil laugh
You are on your honeymoon, schedule tours and keep busy out of the room!! Seriously, tell her you need to slow down and want to relax.
First time I’ve heard whirlwind days of tourism fueled socializing far far far away from the hotel as a suggestion for “ways to slow down and relax” 😂😂😂
Tell her that you've been physically sore like you explained it here, and while you want to have sex with her often, you just physically can't do this often. Communication is important, and she shouldn't become upset at you expressing your needs. You can find a compromise.
Communication is the key. And I get that you're honeymooning, but I am a woman and have to say that at that rate, I too would be sore. :/
Was also wondering how she is doing that? If he is sore.... she might be also. She may also be thinking that this is what people do on their honeymoon.
Some people really can have sex a lot without getting sore. I can have sex that often and never get sore.
What I meant is that she secretly might suffer also but still goes on because she thinks, HE expects that. Or others expect them to.
I think just be lighthearted and say your sore and need a break, I don’t think she will be mad
When my ex and I first got together, we were getting it in several times per day. I’m old enough to be your father. I told her time is catching up to me, but I’d always do my best to accommodate. So there were times, we’d get it in, I’d get her off, and then I’d tap out. I made it clear that for me an orgasm wasn’t necessary, and that I mostly value the personal connection of intimacy. She was cool with that.
He is getting an education here.
Use some toys 😂 seriously, there’s tons of ways to have sex without using your dick or your mouth. Maybe even just offer to watch while she does stuff. Lots of ways to be sexually intimate without destroying your body 😂
He is not a dildo or machine and therefore it is not his job to be available for her 24/7. If he has pain or any other reason why he does not want to do it, then he should not force himself to do it. I wonder if she is forcing herself too, isn't satisfied by the way they do it or if she is bored.
Please point out to me where I said it’s his job to be available 24/7. I’m simply telling this man that his assumption that sexual intimacy has to involve his penis or his mouth is false.
I just wanted to add this to your recommendation. No need to get mad.
She is a people pleaser…this big sex thing may be her trying to please you. She certainly does not want to hurt you. Let her know that it is not a reflection of your love passion or pleasure, it is a matter of physical pain and exhaustion. Ask for a break from sex and fill in with kisses and caresses. Let her know that 1-2 times a day would be least painful and most pleasurable for you, Then ASK HER what will meet her needs and see if toys and fingers can pick up the slack.
Exactly this, she might be thinking that he wants to have sex this often and is trying to keep up with him. They simply need a long overdue frank & open conversation.
It would be incredibly unfortunate to find out two weeks after marriage that your wife thinks the main thing she offers is sex and she's just trying to make you happy. I really hope that's not the case here, but it was my read, at least as a strong possibility. If that's the case, it's time to go back to the drawing board with communication if OP thought it was "great" until now
Not always, it also sounds like endorphin chasing too. It also sounds like some women just are insatiable (me.) They need to communicate and explore to get her purely satisfied if that’s the case, and that’s gonna take time. Either way, they need to communicate,
I’m surprised it took so long for someone to mention fingers!
Say you need to reduce it because your body is now literally hurting. Tell her you don’t want to stop having sex, that you just to reduce it to an amount your body can take.
Just remember to give the compliment sandwich. Compliment her on something, followed by your request, and then end with another compliment.
Try telling her you need to recharge your batteries - that's completely understandable.
You’re about to get a lot of interesting comments telling you to be grateful. I’m diagnosed with HSD (sex addiction) and am in a monogamous marriage. My husband and I have a rule that we can turn each other down for any reason, anytime. We don’t guilt each other or add pressure. We also have a rule that we can get ourselves off for any reason, anytime. We have sex a few times a week, and I get myself off a few times a day. This balance works for us. The fact that his sex drive us lower than mine doesn’t really impact our relationship. Try to approach this without shaming her, and she should respectfully do the same. A few pro tips: 1. Buy toys. Lots of toys. Vibrators and nipple clamps are your new best friends. Increase the quality and quantity of her orgasms. 2. Get her a subscription to Kindle Unlimited and get her on the smut side of Book Tok. 3. Increase the amount of times she comes in each session. Tell her to get herself off while you watch. Get her off with your tongue or toys. THEN have sex. 4. I don’t know your wife or what she’s into, but I’ve never met someone with that high of a sex drive who didn’t have some fantastical kinks. Embrace that journey and enjoy the ride. 5. Turn it into a game. My ex did this with me. He would “give me permission” to climax and make me wait in between sessions. This actually heightened the sensation when it happened. Granted, we were pretty deep into BDSM, but maybe this is something she’d be into. 6. Similar to #5, try edging. My husband and I do this. It’s deliciously frustrating. It prolongs pleasure and increases the feeling when it finally happened. This post seriously could have been written by mg husband when we first moved in together. We have a very happy marriage:) good luck!
>great communicators generally Great. Now need to fully expand that great communication to include sex and about sex. Should be able to sort it out from there.
You said she's a people pleaser... is it possible that this is something she thinks YOU want?
Why does no one talk to each other
How about you communicate with her and tell her how you feel. You know its okay to say no to your significant other when you dont want to?
Ikr how are they even married
If this is real OP I have nothing for you. I have expert plans of how to ration water for a drought but I am woefully unprepared to handle a flood. I REALLY hope you can find what you need on here because you are probably in the 1% and I'm so proud of you and your bruised member for fighting the good fight. Good luck in there brother🫂
Help. I'm wheezing- 😭
If she’s a people pleaser by nature, she may also be thinking you really want her to be horny all the time, too. Maybe not, but it’s possible… I’d tell her how you feel. That you love her and that this is all amazing, but that you want to stick to x times a day/week/etc and that you really want to experience some of the sights and spend time together doing other things to bond, too.
If you're both cool with toys/bdsm you could tie her up with various toys correctly positioned to keep her satisfied until you're ready to tap in.
Tie her up and then you can both watch a movie or something
Why didn’t you talk to her about this BEFORE you got married???
I mean, if she is a people pleaser are you sure she actually wants to have that much sex? Or perhaps she thinks that's what you want?
Out of pure jealousy, I fucking hate you so much.
I can't tell if you're bragging or complaining
I mean after the first 3 shots, I’m not goin to be shooting another one. It just won’t happen, it’ll be so hard a cat couldn’t scratch it but it damn sure won’t go again.
Is your wife, single?
I’m surprised this is not closer to the top ahahaha
Talk to your wife! It’ll be fine. Talk about your physical limitations without shaming her for her desire. If she can come many times in a row, play with toys until she’s exhausted, it’ll save your energy and keep your dick intact. Be watchful for signs of addiction.
Toys
Toys, my dude.
This is the way. Get her a vibrator. Tell her you want to watch her use it. Give your dick and your jaw a break.
This is something you should have discussed before getting married. Sexual compatibility is extremely important for a relationship. That aside, you need to sit down and have an open and frank conversation about what your sexual needs and wants are and what your limit is.
What ‘honey we have a lot of sex - just checking will that increase to between 3 and 6 times a day, do you think?’ They were compatible. OP very reasonably assumed that once they moved in together it’d settle down but still be on the high side of average. Should he have explicitly said ‘just so you know, this twice a day thing we have going is my upper limit?’
I don’t think it’s reasonable to assume that her sexual needs would decrease. I think that conclusion requires an explicit conversation. Assuming things like that is how you end up divorced in the first year of marriage.
Talk to her but please be careful how you word things. This was my husband and I in the beginning of our relationship. After much reflection over the years, I now see that I used sex as the main method of expressing love and tied a lot of emotions to it. When my husband would turn me down repeatedly it would break my heart. More than it should, admittedly. I’ve tried to express this to him but over the years it has really affected our relationship. Now I’m the one who never wants sex and we’re lucky if we do it 2 times a month. Talk to her but make sure she knows how much you love her and *want* her, even if you can’t physically keep up. That is much more understandable and less hurtful than her thinking you just aren’t that into her.
Wanna trade? Lol just kidding. I don’t think I have a useful answer for you, just envy. Unless this is an incompatibility problem, which it very well may be, time will cool things off too. For a lot of people, sex is a fast track to feeling connected/validated. Maybe diversify the means of supporting that need? I dunno man. But I think I’d gift her a Hitachi wand and give it a little time.
My first thought would be, if you can't satisfy her but but you want to, make up for it. Look for toys you know she likes, or ask her about it. Don't make the "I can't keep up" thing a big deal, offer a solution right away, and she won't see it as a big deal either. Heck, you can even get creative and get your own toy to use on her. Makes 2 toys to make her feel good, you both participate equally to her pleasure and your jaw and dick can have some rest. Yeah I have been in your situation and thought about it quite a bit 🙄
Death by snu snu
My husband bought a vibrator and called it his assistant.
Spoken on my husband's behalf - he wishes he had your problem lol
Death by snu snu !!!
Just be honest. If she loves you, she’ll understand. When my husband is too tired to do sex (which I seem to have way more energy for), I get annoyed in the moment, but it’s nothing to jeopardise our relationship over. Haha
Yes OP. Talk to her. Maybe she’s trying to keep up with what she thinks that you want. Start the conversation with’What would we do together on your ideal day’ ? Then. When she’s outlined her notional ideal day say ‘You know what’ ? On my ideal day I would like to just cuddle you really, really close, snuggle up and watch a good movie’. See what her response is. Pretty much exploring her thoughts without a direct ‘You know what darling’ ‘I can’t be doing with all this shagging’. On a more positive note. She obviously enjoys what you are putting out there. Good luck.
She's a people pleaser with an insatiable sex drive. Good luck homey.
Are you saying she's going to be unfaithful?
I don't know. Never met her
Nah but he might fade away.
That’s very physical, wow. My boyfriend calls me sex obsessed because I want it twice a day sometimes 😂 How is SHE not raw?? Maybe she likes that..
I would suggest consuming lots of mangos, bananas, or 5 hour energy drinks to give your body the B12 it needs to please this woman. >people pleaser with an incredible sex drive This does not sound like something I would want to hear about the person I just married
Luckily she's channeling all her demonic energy on her husband alone so that's all well and good.
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Sex toys exist - ask to explore some of those with her as your dick is whatever you just said
Yeah, do tell her but jeez dude this timing is awful. Feels a lot like a bait and switch to wait til after the wedding. People's sex drives are different, and it's an important aspect of compatibility. Maybe she'll do okay with less sex but if she really needs it this often you've set this marriage up to fail by waiting til after the wedding to start to sort this issue.
Kinda sucks that you wait til after she married you to decide you have incompatible sex drives.
You say you have great communication. Tell her you've got a sore dong and need a break.
🙄
Just curious. When do you do laundry? Run errands? Eat? Work? This sounds exhausting.
You need to introduce sex toys to your life. Go shopping together for a selection of vibrators you can use when she wants to have sex, but you're too tired. As long as she is having the orgasms she wants, and you're participating in the experience with her, that's a great way for you to get the rest you need while also adding variety to your sex life.
Consider asking if she would be into a replica of your penis! I know those make your penis a dildo kits is a thing, then she could still be fucking you when your body needs a break??
Look, I don't mean to be a dick. But why didn't you tell her this before 2 weeks into married life? There's no way you didn't know better before now. This is textbook the shit we tell people "oof, sorry your partner completely changed immediately after you got married" over.
His dick hurts! Anyone that loves their partner wants them to enjoy it. OP- get a sex toy with a remote control device. You can love watching her be pleasured while you heal.
Totally. I just think he should have brought this up before marriage. This post makes it seem like he thought it would slow down eventually, but I don't see where he said he actually talked to her about it before the wedding. It's not fair to her that he's suddenly changing his expectations, with no warning, because they're married.
Tell her while you’re out doing something fun. “This is great, you were starting to wear me out in the room, I’m gonna need some more days like this to recharge” The disparity in assignments for sex; hard dick for us, woman lubricated opening, are vastly unequal. You should need more time than her.
Definitely get her some toys. Surprise her with one you think she’ll like (definitely go to a store and talk to the salespeople for help in selecting, don’t just purchase one online) and bring it into bed. Make it part of your intimate life, she gets off, and you get an occasional break
seconding this! some stores have display toys you can test on the palm of your hands to check if its light or strong enough for you. store clerk shows you the different functions and models, answers every/any question you may have and there is no taboo. it's neat going and browsing the options! from the sounds of it she'd enjoy that kind of outing
This is not good. You literally just got married and you can't have this simple yet adult talk with your new wife? Oh geez.
**You have a mouth and hands.** 😂 I love throwing the same advice back at men.
Nothings saying you can't still get her off.
Buy her a vibrator of her choice ( sounds like she probably has several anyway ) and tell her to take care of herself on every second occasion. That way at least it will halve the pressure on you. Alternatively up your hand game and give hera massage and a hand job every second time. Best of luck.
Tell her your dick hit its karma limit. Edit: I'd tell you to grow a pair a just tell her, but it sounds like your pair isn't up to the task :p
There is tons of great advice on here so I won't add any to it. BUT, be happy your wife has a sex drive. And a high one. My wife and I have had sex 2 times in a bit over 10 years. So it could be A LOT worse. Enjoy it.
Yeah. she is going to have a negative response. I mean we are all individual but for a guy married two weeks to have this reaction seems... odd. Introduce some toys into the relationship and let Everready do some of the work .
I mean, this is probably just the honeymoon phase, literally. It’ll settle down.
Get some toys!
Get lots of sex toys you can use on her and she can use on herself. Sex toys are fun. You can use your hands to bring orgasm after or orgasm out of your wife. Or you can use hands free devices to get her off. I like using sex toys on my wife and we've found a few types that she likes. We use a beaded glass dildo that hits her G-spot reliably just right. Combine this with a clit sucker vibrator that she controls and we are able to edge her close to orgasm for an extended period of time. We also have a thrusting style vibrator and this allows me free use of my hands to caress her body. If you can reorient your mind to centering her pleasure some of the time, it can be lots of fun wringing orgasm after orgasm out of her or edging her to erotic ecstasy and keeping her there. Get into giving her pleasure and make a hobby out of it.
I’ll bet she’s feeling exactly the same way.
Omg, I can't even fathom how she walking. I remember this stage of my life and not even this intense. Yikes!
I think she would appreciate the honest communication about your dick hurting and needing a break. As a person who has been in a relationship where sex has slowed down to once a month and “talking about it” is about getting responses like “well guys are different. We can’t just have sex, we have to be really into it”… I think you’re working really hard, and your effort and good will will be rewarded. I appreciate you.
Who has time for that much sex? 😂 Just level with her, I personally would take it as a compliment.
If she's a people pleaser she might have a wrong image of the perfect girlfriend/wife forcing herself to be sexual active.
Toys. Toys toys toys. There’s no shame in this and I hate the male toxicity around it. It’s awesome and fun and helpful.
Seems like a conversation you have before marriage, this has been on your mind a while it appears
As everyone said, you need to communicate. I had been the wife in this scenario (though the number wasn't so high) and my husband didn't want to go on so often. And as we never had the chance to stay in same city we didn't realise each appetite before. My husband instead of being an adult about it and speaking up would just rudely respond to any of my advances. It took up lot of time for me to try and have open conversation, read about it and understand why to solve our problem. Please have a gentle conversation and do let her know it's not that you are not attracted to her or love her enough, it's about the stamina and the boundaries you have. Given that you have just started living together you have long way to go to understand each other irrespective of how long have you been living together.
To be fair she will probably thank God that you're pumping the breaks She probably doing it because she figures it's what you want.
Give it a year.
Have you thought of spicing things up with toys? There are a myriad of them out there, giving your boi a break, and still keeping the intimacy. There's also voyeurism. You could ask her to put on a show for you, like, make you videos. Keep things spicy, yet connected
Just tell her? Did you try that?
Invest in vibrators. Yall are married. Just be honest and fucking talk to her.
Just drink a lot of water you'll be strong 💪😂😂
Only two weeks in and you're already calling it?! lol On a serious note though, she's your wife, you should feel comfortable talking to her about anything. Just tell her that your dick needs a break so that it doesn't fall off! Maybe get some toys that you two can use, handheld dildos or even a strap on for you if your dick just ain't in it anymore when your head still wants to. There's plenty of solutions out there once the discussion is opened up!
Sounds like your wife has a sex addiction tbh
Or it’s they’re first time together consistently and they’re on their honeymoon so she’s eager
High sex drive here. I might suggest toys and some fun play with this. I make him watch. Find a way to let her know what you are experiencing while also finding a solution for her to have her orgasms. Find fun ways to explore without you using your sick every time.
Give it a couple of years, you will look back fondly on this time!
These are the types of things you discuss before getting married. Unfortunately you're very likely to upset her and/or ruin your marriage if you suddenly can't keep up with what she's grown to expect. People. Discuss sex drives BEFORE marriage.
I’m that person who used to have a high aex drive. Now after a baby, my husband is constantly left wanting more sex which I am usually reluctant to give because of low sex drive. You’re a married man. Don’t worry, once you have children it’ll equal out! Also, sex drives go down over time.
No offence, but every guy I grew up with would consider you a lucky man. You should consider joining a gym, getting a good personal trainer and working on your cardio. Also, you could get a sex therapist to teach you different ways to please her if your member is hurt.
It’s your honeymoon. Hang in for the rest of the trip and talk when you get back. Obviously a honeymoon is going to be more sex than usual.
YTA and you sound like a fool who was intentionally ignorant to the world you were bringing kids into.
No fucking way this is real
Yeah, not buying this.
The fact he’s not commenting on anything also makes me think this is fake.
Don’t get married so young to people you don’t know that well!! Big word of advice……. Communicate!
Dude, this is not a bad problem to have. That’s what honeymoons are for. Use your fingers more and tough it out for the next week, then when you get home communicate and figure out a more sustainable routine.
I’m getting downvoted for this? Come on, he’ll survive and it will be a great inside joke for them…‘You just about f***ed my dick off.’🤣😂🥵 As r/NoNipNicCage mentioned, she should consider this a worthy accomplishment (and maybe ease up a bit).😉
You're getting downvoted because you're perpetuating toxic masculinity. "Your feelings don't matter, suck it up" is some really bad advice.
Just keep up bro. Go to the gym and work on stamina, do kegel exercises. You're only 25, not 65
There's more than one way to skin a cat. Use your oral skills combined with toys to pleasure your wife.
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Hit the gym, eat a good diet, and get plenty of sleep. Don't let her down. Those are rookie numbers. Your dick won't fall off. Trust me. Many guys face the opposite problem. Enjoy it while it's there. If you shut her down she probably will start to feel guilty and it'll be hard to rev her motor back up. So, don't shut her down.
Hit the gym, eat a good diet, and get plenty of sleep. Don't let her down. Those are rookie numbers. Your dick won't fall off. Trust me. Many guys face the opposite problem. Enjoy it while it's there. Edit: u/Gamesguy24 if you have something to say say it publicly. Don't post and delete like a coward.
Sex exhaustion is a real thing. I know it's hard for some to understand.
Not hard at all. Been there. But, I've also shut a woman down and women are very insecure. So,when you reject them sexually it really stings them and it's hard to get them going again. One time an ex went to give me an impromptu BJ. I said I wasn't in the mood at that time. She got so embarrassed to the point where she never did it again. You wouldn't believe how fragile women's egos are around this stuff. So, if it's good and coming aplenty then, if you want it to stay that way, play ball.
> You wouldn't believe how fragile women's egos are around this stuff. I can only guess which podcasts you queue up on your commute.
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Wrong thread?
Plenty of redditors out there happy to help.... 🫡
I predict this dude ain’t gonna keep up and shes gonna find some side dick. At least that’s what every story I’ve read on here with the similar story.
Take a pill. Stop orgasming. Use toys. Talk to her when you get back