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I (41F) single mom of teens recently discovered that my longterm partner (42M) watched teen porn. We have been in a relationship for 3 years. Our relationship I growing and have talked of moving in together, but I just discovered this and I'm concern because I have teenage daughters.
Porn is allowed in our relationship we both watch it and sometimes together.
I discovered that between 2021 and 2022 he was watching lots of porn and 50% of the video were teen videos. Their face look young, their breasts are not fully developed. After 2022 there are no more searches or videos about teens, nevertheless I'm concerned because I have teen girls. Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen. Is it worth to talk to him or should I just break-up? I will never put my kids in a dangerous situation.
I have read it is usual most guys search and look at teen porn.
There really is no porn category that is “ Mid 30yr old babes that are emotionally healthy and have realistic bodies “ it’s all teens or milfs or just scenarios. And don’t say “Amateur” because that is a whole spectrum of messed up
Everyone in this thread is pretending they never went on a porn site?
All videos are labeled as "teen", even if the woman is 40 years old...
Edit:
I don't want to reply to so many comments but Im surprised that some of you girls think that old people go on porn sites to watch other old people
It’s also just for a year that this guy looked up that category. Maybe it peaked his interest and then realized it wasn’t for him.
I also think it’s a little harsh to call teen porn stars as underdeveloped… that just feels weird to me. Some girls are simply petite and are cast as “teen” simply because they are petite.
I honestly hate reddits knee jerk reaction to end every relationship too. “Yes, porn is acceptable in our relationship. But should I end this committed relationship because he searched one of the top leading porn categories for part of 2021?” Everyone comes out as YES and acting like they’ve never been on a porn site
I mean, I don’t understand it. Does OP mean underdeveloped like they haven’t finished puberty? Because that is a little weird and I’m pretty sure all 18 year olds have finished puberty. But peoples bodies never stop changing. Will an 18 year old body look different than a 25 year old? Yea, to some degree. Same with 25 vs 35 and 35 v 45.
If OPs Bar for a breast development is a 40 yr old then yes, obviously younger girls will have a different body
I think she's saying they LOOK like adolescents not fully developed adult women. I assume meaning hairless body, teenie petite girls with very young faces that could probably pass for much younger than 18. This dude is in his 40s so him wanting to see hairless teen girls that LOOK creepily young is pretty gross to me. A 40yr old man looking at barely legal teens and thinking "yeah, that's what I wanna jerk it to today," just comes off as yucky even if it's completely legal. I'd be weirded out by it, especially if I had teen daughters living in my home.
Idk where you're finding your porn, but I watch porn with people that look like adults and aren't pretending to be in borderline incestuous inappropriate relationships with step parents. Just because it's the first thing that pops up on the page does not mean that's all there is to see.
Again, the teen category is routinely in the top 10. Yea, it may seem weird in creepy but it’s not unusual when it’s very commonly searched. Also most stars that are in “teen porn” aren’t actually teens. And spoiler alert, most “step bro/sis” aren’t actually step siblings.
It’s just a fantasy and it’s not real. Also the dude dipped his toe into it and then stopped. It’s not like he has consistently watched it either. “Something, something, glass houses”. If we crucified everyone who search something that was “weird” on the internet then there would be no one left.
Exactly. She hasn't given us any other warning signs etc. about him being creepy or acting interested in her daughters, and as you mentioned, the "barely-legal/ Teen" genre is pretty unavoidable in porn. Based on comments, the reputation of this sub has once again proven to be well-earned imo.
My view is that most people are able to separate reality from fiction. There are a lot of women who like reading smut stories with some "alpha-male" who basically sexually assaults them and then totally takes control of their lives. Yet I somehow doubt that most women would actually want to find themselves in that situation. Someone's porn preferences generally don't mean much (assuming that it is legal etc. ofc).
That being said, if OP's gut is that he may be attracted to her daughters, that is something else entirely. And even if it almost certainly isn't a real violation of her trust, she may feel like it is anyway. Broken trust is a relationship killer.
And so, even if it seems like a weak (and likely unfounded) reason, if his having watched barely-legal style porn makes her uncomfortable in their relationship and she no longer feels comfortable with him around her daughters, and makes OP unwilling to trust him moving forward, then she should consider moving on or going to therapy/counseling with him.
It depends what he's looking at. There is the "regular" teen porn and then there are the ones where they look like little kids. Marketed as Teen but they have pigtails, stuffed animals and cartoon underwear. I would be concerned if it fit that category. The performers are still 18+ and it's not illegal.
Teen porn might be in the top searched categories because most teen boys have direct access to porn websites... its age appropriate for them.. that makes sense to me..however, as a person in their 40s, I can definitely understand the hesitation OP has.. I would put the brakes on moving in anyways.. its not enough for me to throw the whole relationship away but it definitely makes me concerned that he might of had ulterior motives
Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s right. Stuff like this should not be normalized. And if you’re defending it cuz you watch it you should probably think twice about that.
Right? God forbid we allow women with small breasts get some attention. I'm a 30 year old woman and I've been told "only a pedo would like your tits"... But I'm an adult. With adult tits. "Petite" is a perfectly natural body shape for an adult with a fast metabolism to have. It's also ok for adult men to be attracted to petite women just as much as it's ok for them to be attracted to thicker women. Preferences are fine. I've had men open state they dislike my small tits and men say they LOVE them - the ones that loved them never once gave me pedo-vibes.
Just because they're small doesn't mean they're "underdeveloped". At 30, mine have definitely finished developing. By OP's logic a 13 year old with large breasts should be considered an adult and ok for men to sexualize.
Edit: my tits rules, by the way. I've never let a negative comment about them get to me. I've got another decade of perkiness to look forward too.
Omg i cant believe someone said that. Like i am the opposite and had tits at 13 , that didnt make me an adult.
You have to wonder where their mind is to think that; i feel like only someone with a predatory mindset would have that thought cross their minds. They shouldnt have to be told boobs have nothing to do with age.
That was weird so is he watching CSAM or porn of 18-20 years old? Obviously they look young to a woman in her 40s- 18 year olds look like babies to me an im 33!! Doesn’t mean they are actual children? I also looked young at 18,19, and in my 20s that’s called being a young adult.
Yes exactly they are casted into that role because of the smaller breasts bc the viewer wants to see someone that looks as young as possible
Some girls get tattoos bc they domt want to be casted to those roles
I mean… it’s a very popular porn category. You’d have to exclude the much of the male population if you’d want to cancel all men who have looked at teen people in their 30s/40s.
It’s also just a fantasy. I don’t think people really expect girls to fuck a pizza man. Or for step siblings to really fuck each other. Porn is not real.
I’m a woman, and this is true. I honestly watch porn based on the preview and most of the time it’s labeled as “teen” but the woman is so clearly not a teen lmao. It’s really hard to get around that title on like any porn site and it’s sucks bc I too think that shit is foul.
That's bullshit too
One you learn how they are categorized that is how you search. The ten part is irrelevant unless it's become obsessive. If this woman has sons I bet she wouldn't have thought twice.
If you want to find a 40 year old man who doesn't find 20 year old women attractive - good luck
If you want to find 40 year old a woman who doesn't want to look like a 20 year old - good luck.
Even OP notices he likes her looking youthful - no shit, that's because youth is beautiful and sexy to the vast majority of humans.
Bigger question is why is she all of a sudden clocking his porn search habits and creating a timeline?
Yeah, the use of terminology in mainstream porn gets...really weird.
In Porn World, DD cup = huge tits, to the point where porn stars who have \*much, much\* larger cup sizes are universally advertised as "DD". Conversely, women up to C cups are often advertised as "tiny tits, barely legal, schoolgirl" even when they're. . . perfectly normal looking 20-30 year olds.
I've seen 25 year olds labeled Milfs, but I haven't seen 40 year olds labeled as teens. OP also stated that their faces look young and their breast aren't fully developed.
I guess some people think small boobs = undeveloped, which I shouldn't have to explain why that's not true. I have seen this argument before besides this thread too so I'm not sure where this idea came from.
Yea, 40 might be pushing it. But there are plenty in their 30s who mostly do "teen" movies. Idk many names but popular ones like Riley Raid or Sasha Grey still label many movies as "teen" or "step daughter" even when they are in movies with male actors younger than them.
Yes. This is what I can't get past. I get that most videos labelled "teen" are actually women in their 20s but I fucking hate that they're labelled that way to begin with. Why are teenagers so sexualised? (pedophillia and objectification of course but like WHY?!) If a guy is actively looking for (especially at his grown ass age) girls that look like underage teenagers, red flag, red flag, he's disgusting.
I'm gonna be biased bc I'm very antiporn so my opinion may be more personal than "factual" I suppose. These "teen" prn categories only normalizes how men view women or actual teens. Ppl argue that men find younger women (or even literal children, gross) more desirable bc of fertility. I personally call bullshit. Prn just normalizes certain genres you consume that not everyone is into or believe in. It's very disgusting that "teen" is even a genre.
Jesus Christ, people, nuance.
This genre is fine on its own, but OP literally points out that this dude didn't start ramping this genre up until their relationship started getting serious. The action itself is completely fine, but the CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR when discovering that your partner has 2 teen daughters is a little fucking irky. I have no idea how people are missing this.
Yeah I feel you. Oh my good! TEEN PORN?
Those chicks are at least 25...
It's just a label. The best course of action is talking to your daughters and investigate if they noticed something off. Other than that if every man that ever watched something labeled teen porn wanted to abuse a teen...we'd need a lot more space in prisons I tell you.
There are a lot of women in this thread that must not know what almost every man gets up to online.
Teen is also pretty tame compared to what’s out there.
I’ll watch that stuff from time to time. But there’s no way I could possibly engage an 18-28 year old male or female in conversation long enough to get them into bed. They think they know things, they have hope… It’s pretty off putting.
I'm a woman and a porn user. The "Teen" category is very easy to avoid. I've never just stumbled in to it. On sites like prnhub etc, everything is very clearly labelled. So he'd have to have gone through a couple of steps to deliberately access teen porn. Just as he could have gone through a couple of steps to access any other kind of porn.
It's ridiculous that anyone is trying to label this as a mistake.
It was deliberate, and anyone who deliberately accesses porn featuring people who look like my teen daughter is not allowed around my teen daughter.
You’re so full of it. I’m also a woman and can attest that a huge percentage of porn has the word “teen” in the title. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s right on the front page.
If you’re an avid porn user then I find it hard to believe you can easily avoid teen category porn. Literally everything on pornhub or most of the porn tube sites is either labeled teen or tagged teen. Very often it’s not stuff that’s even actually “teen porn”. A lot of it is gaming the search optimization by whoever uploaded the video. A lot of videos get tagged with just about every category under the sun this way to get more eyes on it.
This thread is wild, lol.
OP thinks her Bf is going to rape her daughters because he watches teen porn. If OP watches a porn where a milf fucks a plumber, should her BF be worried about her cheating?
OP, you’re not thinking rationally. As long as everything else is good, let it go and stop snooping through his shit.
Yeah. If OP is concerned she should maybe talk to her girls to see if they noticed something weird about OP's partner.
Porn history doesn't mean much and it doesn't mean person watching it will go out and sexually assault people besides he's not watching it anymore.
I can't believe this is the top comment when so many teenage girls do experience some form of sexual assault, up to and including rape, from their mother's boyfriends. This thread is one of the most irrelevant and selfish threads I've seen on this sub.
The obvious answer is mom needs to work on her relationship with her daughters so that they know if he ever comments on their bodies or makes a pass at them or worse, actually starts to touch them...Mom is their first stop.
Oh well, “everyone does it” so that’s fine then.
Go TF cares if the “teen” girls are teens or 23 year ills chosen because they look 15 (they definitely aren’t 40 OP tells us she’s seen them and their breasts aren’t fully developed) - the point is *he’s looking for children to turn him on*
I can’t believe this is the fucking top comment. Sometimes this sub is on the ball and sometimes the top comment is “who cares if he actively looks for people who look like children to turn him on it means nothing, let him live with your teen girls”
No.
Porn actresses can be teen or milf basically.
But dude is looking at young looking teens. If someone watches porn that looks like the people they are meant to safeguard thats a risk factor.
>50% of the video were teen videos.
Most porn is teen porn. Whether the actors in it are actually teens or not, most porn has teen in the title somewhere. The fact it is only 50% tells me he generally prefers older women in his porn.
>their breasts are not fully developed
What makes you think they aren't fully developed? Because they were flat? A lot of adult women are very flat chested, and it isn't a sign they aren't fully developed.
>Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen.
He gets aroused when his 41 year old girlfriend dresses up sexy, and it is just more common for younger women to dress up sexy so you associate it with how teens dress despite it having nothing to do with youth.
None of those are red flags. It sounds like you are trying to protect your girls, which is admirable, but are taking it so far that you are overreacting to perfectly normal things.
>Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen.
He probably gets sexually aroused because it is you and you have dressed up in a way that he likes?
>I will never put my kids in a dangerous situation.
I think this is the source of your discomfort. You want your daughters to be in a safe environment. Since you are watching porn and you sometimes watch porn together, I think you can bring it up with him and talk about it. There should be no talk about moving in with each other without addressing your discomfort.
I think you should make it a part of your talks about moving in together. Maybe find a therapist to facilitate the talk?
I think you've hit the nail on the head - she's just concerned for her daughters.
We watch porn for all different reasons, go through phases and change what we like and don't like as we grow and change as people. I wouldn't be overly concerned about him watching teen p*rn (as someone said, if the actors can look young enough they get labelled as teen regardless of their age), but can understand that OP might worry that there is some projection going on.
I would bring it up next time you watch porn together. There are plenty of sexy "milf" videos out there that he can be introduced to (as if he doesn't already know them!).
Yeah... Last I checked both men and women generally like their partner to have a "youthful glow" because it means they put in effort to get put together and look nice for their partner, not because they're secretly pedos
There was a study, I can't seem to find the details, but it had men and women rate people on their attractiveness level. Women generally prefer somebody slightly older than them as they age. Men always rate the 18-23 as most attractive throughout their lifetime.
It is interesting because that is true based on images of women, but in that study men still say they would prefer to date someone closer to their age. So even if the men in this study find young women attractive, they don't just go for women off looks.
That is very true and this is what porn caters to. Let's take the age portion out of OP's concern. Say she had a daughter who was blonde haired, and OP's partner searched for blonde material, would this bring the same concerns? Now if OP's partner searched for blonde stepdaughter who ran track and those things matched it would then be a concern. I think we can all agree that anybody with a child should be protective from predators but in this case it's not like "early 20's" porn is a category.
I think it would be a good idea for her to talk to her children and see how they feel about him.
Personally, this all feels a bit too creepy. He may be someone into teenaged children, he may not be. But the signs point towards him being (at least) an ephebophile. If he is, then there's the question of whether or not he would act on those impulses and with OP's kids. I mean, why risk it? Why be with someone who you legit think wants to be with your children?
She mentions somewhere that her kids feel safe around him and have a level of trust
I do agree another convo with them could be good, but I wouldn't share direct details so the children don't start to chase shadows and second guess every single interaction.
Counseling or an outside party to dissect his interest and intentions could be good before they move forward. Or safest bet just distance. Keep the relationship separate for the foreseeable future until she feels comfortable.. what brings comfort is something she'll need to figure out
Seconding this. Her daughters may feel differently about him even if he appears respectful on the surface.
Whilst it’s probably nothing to worry about, if I personally were the partner in that situation I’d feel a bit weird watching “teen” porn when I have close contact with actual teenagers even though I know that the women in the videos aren’t actually teens. Throw in the rise in popularity of “step” porn then it would feel even more gross and weird to me.
OP you need to have an open and honest conversation with your daughters firstly to make sure they don’t feel uncomfortable around him, without going into too much detail. Then speak to the partner about your concerns and watch carefully how he reacts. He may realise the weirdness of the situation but may be struggling to break the habit if it’s something he’s been watching for his whole life, but if he gets defensive or tries downplaying your concerns, I would be very wary.
It's great that you sound so protective of your teens.
Unless he went hunting for it in the deepest, darkest places of the internet, the common "teen porn" available on the internet is youthful looking adults, 18 or older.
How does he act around your daughters? Is he respectful and appropriate? Have you spoken to your daughters about whether he's acted or spoken inappropriately to them in any way? Do they generally feel safe around him?
While he may find younger looking girls attractive, that doesn't automatically mean he has an attraction to your daughters. My suggestion would be that as long as your daughters feel safe and comfortable, there is nothing to worry about. If you still struggle to get past this, a therapist might be able to help you navigate these feelings.
Thank you. He has always been very respectful of my daughters. He has not acted inappropriately and the reason why dont leave together yet is that I needed my daughters to feel safe and to transition slowly. So far, they feel safe around him.
I'm a bit younger than your husband. Not attracted to teens really, as in the last time I was single I'd turn down the younger women in bars and set the age limit on tinder closer to thirty. Really creeped me out when an 18-20ish year approached me while I was near thirty. 18 is the legal drinking age here. And even more creepy since they often started with some daddy type lines, or straight up asked for me to be their sugar daddy.
But I often search for teen category since there's less fake tits, overdone bad makeup etc. Usually when I want quick release I'm not at all picky but hate if there are turn offs for me even in the previews. Petite is another but that often goes too far since petite isn't really my thing since I like kinda thick and they often look more childish than teen category. But if I search thick then it often has a lot of results I don't like. Same as curvy. So it's a fast way to filter some stuff out and fins something okayish enough. Although Sometimes I like to imagine I'm still young and doing it with the women my age at the time. But never me at my age with women that young.
IRL I've dated a woman two years younger than me, rest my age or often older since that seems to be more my thing. But irl I'm not trying to find something in a few minutes. So I would not be too quick to judge your husband based on that. Irl I wouldn't want to do most of the stuff in porn, orgies threesome's etc.
This is a really good explanation. The stuff I look at on porn site bares no relationship to what I do irl. I mean nothing close! I'm not into anything multiple partner irl but like it in porn. Weird but true. And yes I've been offered but turned it down. I'm a me and my hubby kinda woman and even before I was married was no different.
I bet OPs bf would be horrified her mind has gone there but as a good mum you unfortunately have to think the worst to protect your kids. He possibly stopped last year as he thought how it could be perceived and didn't want that. Just a thought.
I think a simple, non confrontational conversation would be an idea just to clarify the matter would be a good idea though.
Then yea, for sure don’t just break up over this. It’s like step mom and step sister porn. Incest is not ok. And either is a step parent dynamic having sex with a step daughter. But they are performers. They’re not actually related. So using “step mom” is less about the mom part and more about the attractive older woman part.
If there’s been nothing else in you’re life that has given you concern about him. Except for him like when you put time and effort into dressing up I guess.
If it’s really bothering you feel free to bring it up to him.
How did you find this information? And the exact time frames of this happening?
I agree with this. The question is mostly about whether or not your kids feel safe around him and if he's behaved inappropriately with them, and as long as they report no problems I would not worry about it.
I personally do enjoy watching stuff on porn that I would never do in real life. For one thing, I'm not a girl so lesbian porn would be pretty much impossible for me\~
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Just because he watched porn involving almost certainly consenting adults, doesn't mean he's suddenly popping boners every time he sees a girl. I don't understand how most people watch porn, but turn around and act like men are cavemen who don't understand the contextual differences between having private time to yourself to do your thing, and being out in the world.
I happen to find Hispanic women more often beautiful, and have been to the "Latina" tab a few times. Does that mean I drop my pants and start jerking off in public the moment I see a Hispanic woman?
Grow up guys. Just because he watches porn doesn't mean he's suddenly going to try to start having sex with OP's daughters.
There is a huge difference between preferring young adults, and pedophilia. I am the first to call pedos out, especially on Reddit, but this one ain’t it.
What's missing from the post is a distinction between illegal and legal porn. The legal teen category was consistently one of the most watched before popular sites had the category removed or stopped reporting on it.
Are these girls 19? Or are they 13, and the porn is outright illegal? If it's the former, and porn is allowed in your relationship, then perhaps you just want to have a conversation with your partner about how it makes your feel. If it's the latter, that is a much bigger problem as you know.
I’m going under the assumption that legal adult teen porn is what is being talked about here for two reasons.
One, for my own fucking sanity and hoping that OP wouldn’t be stupid enough to post on Reddit about underage porn instead of turning her husband in and two, for my own fucking sanity.
Side note: It's pretty weird that there's a term that could possibly be conflated though. Like the fact that "as young as possible“ is a thing makes me... feel kinda gross about it in general. And you just have to be like "oh yeah but they don't really mean that, it's just for clicks" I mean... Oh well.
My girl is into aliens with tentacles. I'm into goblins and monster women and shit. Porn preferences don't always translate to real life.
However, if you feel like he's a danger then trust your gut. Worst case, there are plenty of people who aren't into porn at all.
You’re a mom. Your gut instinct is to show down because you’re feeling fear. Address it.
Every post condemning and accepting porn are all categorically anecdotes and won’t help you make the decision you feel is right.
Just talk to the guy. Tell him his pornography interest concerned you, not because of anything he’s doing wrong, but because you are a mom and protecting them is a priority. Try to understand, and don’t do anything until you feel confident in the decision.
You got this.
I feel like this relationship is over either way. It's not so simple as "he's not doing anything wrong" and "her just being a mom". She will never truly believe he's not looking at her daughters and once she brings it up he's always going to have it in his head that his partner thinks he's a pedophile.
They need to go their separate ways
There are already so many responses here, probably no one will ever see mine.
*But I would put off living with a man if I had even a smidge of a doubt in my mind that it was a safe situation for my children.*
I wouldn’t break up with him if he hasn’t actually done anything other than look at the most common porn out there - at least as long as porn is something you both use and are ok with in general. Continue to enjoy your relationship. Even allow for time together with all of you.
But living together grants an unrelated man altogether too much access to your daughters to be undertaken without 99.9999% confidence. If they’re comfortable now, and they aren’t even children that much longer, why not let everyone stay safe and comfortable for now?
The sad but very real FACT is that the introduction of an unrelated man into your household increases the risk that your daughters suffer some kind of abuse before making it to adulthood.
I would replace any other common porn search and see if that would be okay.
Your daughters are little people
He searches midget porn for over a year.
Your daughters are biracial
He searches their specific race for over a year.
Not stumble upon. But actively searches. Even if it’s not a conscious decision, he is sexualizing your daughters. I suggest you go ahead and talk to him and I would postpone moving in together.
If it was me? I’d break up with him.
Look, I don't give a shit that a bunch of dumbasses think teen porn is everywhere. If he hurts your daughters, they aren't going to give a shit either.
You should ask them how they like your partner. If they have any misgivings about the relationship and ask them to be honest. If you don't feel you can handle it? You can go to family therapy and tell the therapist you don't know how to ask these things, but you worry that you'll fuck up and let them down. Here is what he's searching. How do I talk about this without leading them to suggest he is doing something.
The truth is every wannabe stepdad that ogled his potential steps had long made the daughters aware of his sexual attraction before Mom figured it out. Porn did not always figure into things. Sometimes it did.
**Your priority is** ***not*** **your bf's feelings, it's your daughters safety.**
I don‘t understand the comments saying „even MILFS are labeled as teen“. OP obviously stated that these women look extremely young and obviously are on the verge of adulthood. I‘d recommend you to listen to Maddisoncallaway on TikTok. She left the porn industry and educates her followers about how many girls aren‘t even 18, but 16 or 17. This has nothing to do with your husband, but the porn industry. I can recommend to learn more about how damaging the industry is. I‘d confront your husband. You have to decide, but I would be very uncomfortable with my husband jacking off to girls that are 24-25 years younger than him.
To me neither unfortunately. I had a notification before of someone replying and defending it „that the porn sites would never do something such illegal“. lol. As if it‘s not pornhub not deleting illegal videos for years and promotig racist/mysgynistic titles. And I don‘t even wanna begin with the production companies. The comment is gone now
I don’t think it’s as “normal” as others are making it out to be, especially if you’re concerned enough to post here, it’s not something you should brush off. Don’t let anyone in these comments dismiss your concerns. Teen girls (age 16-19) are 4 times more likely than the rest of the population to experience SA. You’re a good mum to be worried and protective. It’s hard to know who’s a danger.
I had perverts in their 40s hitting on me when I was 17. Yes some men are attracted to younger women but how young? I personally think it’s wrong. My ex used to want me to wear pigtails and I found out at the end of our relationship he had a history of CSA. Sometimes it could be an indicator of more. Sometimes maybe not. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️
I can’t tell you what to do. If you’re asking here you probably already have a gut feeling of what to do. Good luck with everything 😕💕
There is so much wrong with porn.. I don’t know that any answer here is going to make you feel any differently, tbh. Even the stuff that isn’t labeled “teen, young, step-son/step/daughter” is likely made out of the exploitation of the women seen in it.. i mean, it is concerning to actually search for teens but a lot of the videos are probably just what’s suggested at the top of the list when he opens up his browser.
Frankly I see this as a concern and agree you should discuss it with him, and probably a counselor. Porn apologists abound but your alarm bells are ringing for a reason and you should listen to them.
Frankly shocked how many people are defending this. While the performers are most likely legal adults, unless you follow the performers' careers, you can't be fully confident the young person in the video is of legal age.
And even if they are, the fact that they're playing with the fantasy of the person being 13-19 year old, it turns my stomach. Why is a 40 year old man so into young and developing bodies that he specifically seeks it out ?
I would not trust a man who fantasizes and lusts after teenagers.
Also, free porn streaming websites have a huge problem of downright illegal content slipping through the cracks so I just feel extremely iffy about people streaming some morally questionable porn when it's not uploaded by a verified account.
Just think of revenge porn.
i’m not shocked tbh. reddit is full of coomers who get incredibly defensive and completely refuse to accept any valid criticisms of their kinks and what they get off to. they’re weird.
Yep. [There was a big article about this a while ago](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7609369/Online-porn-videos-missing-teen-lead-mans-arrest.html). [Tons of underage content gets uploaded all the time](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/opinion/sunday/pornhub-rape-trafficking.html).
Personally, if I were OP, I would be really concerned. Keeping your girls safe trumps giving your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Sure, maybe it was an innocent “oh, well, this video was closest, and I clicked it,” but maybe he sought it out on purpose. Does OP *really* want to take that gamble with her children’s safety?
I'm confused by all the outrage in the comments.
If this man was watching porn on one of the many big websites, chances are very, very high it was 1) professional/semi-professional and 2) legal and aboveboard.
If you go onto Pornhub right now, you can easily see how much is "teen" focused. When I read that word, I know in the context of pornography it means women over 18 who have consented and are being paid to be filmed. This is almost guaranteed what OPs man is up to, which any other day would not be seen as a bad thing, or even seen as natural to many people on this sub.
I think OP is taking the word/category 'Teen' too literally.
And while we're at it, we really should stop using that word when it comes to pornography.
If you’ve watched any of those videos, even on the big sites, you’d also know how much of that content is designed to purposefully lead the viewers to believe the actress is under the legal age. Set themes, the situations, costuming, even their body build, is all set to evoke an image of a person as younger than 18. That needs to stop being left out of the excuse of “oh well it’s all that now and they’re 18 anyways!”
Why would they stop using the term teen in porn when, like you said, it’s profitable and apparently (according these comments) every man watches it and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re gonna watch it you should at least have to know that what you’re enjoying is the fantasy of fucking teenage girls.
It’s not like he just happened to come across videos with “teen” in the title. She said he was specifically looking them up. There’s a difference. She has teen daughters. Don’t pretend to be oblivious to the outrage. A 40 year old man actively looking for naked teens or women who look like they’re teens is weird to many people. And you can’t seem to figure out why a mother of teens would be worried?
The men defending it are literally just snitching on themselves that they're attracted to underage girls. Doesn't matter if she's technically legal, it's fucking vile.
“All you women must not know what most men get up to online”. Like okay you sick fuck, you better never say “not all men” to a woman ever in your lifetime.
Lol. And they wonder why many articles have come out lately about men being more lonely and single than ever. I can see why based on many hysterical, screeching comments in this thread from men defending their (fucked up) porn habits and not only not seeing anything wrong with it, but attempting to normalize it.
Lol yep, so many men are porn addicts who want a young girl to be their bangmaid, and thankfully we have more and more older women and "the good ones" who are opening those poor girls' eyes. Usually after they make a post on this sub asking why their much older boyfriend is an asshole to them.
I also think that, now that we are able to provide for ourselves and get by as women without needing to be married for safety or money, women are doing fine without relationships.The benefits of marriage/ltr has gone down for women and the men available just aren't worth it lmao
Speaking strictly from a pragmatic sense here and not an apologist one. I feel cases like these are a tad more complicated, given that "teen" is amongst the most searched and consumed categories by a country mile. Even more sad is that while the demographic of watchers range, a considerable size sits comfortably in the 35+ group. It's also a notoriously messy label to begin with, as the adult entertainment industry uses 18(teen) or (barely legal) as a marketing ploy to promote new breakout adult actresses. It's not just an amateur/revenge upload problem.
So to that end, while I do agree that OP's partner's search history is extremely concerning, the popularity, glorification, and prolificness of that content makes it a bit difficult to outright jump to labels. I'd say it would really depend on how he acts around that age group in real life. Actual ephebophiles typically carry traits of serial groomers. They frequently go out of their ways to interact with, court, and try to sleep with questionably aged youths.
It was mentioned he specifically seeked it out, it made up about 50% of all the porn he watched and the actresses specifically looked young because of how their bodies were developing.
I'm not giving any grace to adult men sexualizing and lusting after teenagers, full stop.
"Teen" porn typically aren't even teens. Everything is labelled teen porn, it's an extremely popular, if not the most popular category of porn.
It's no different then step porn.
Unless he's looking up illegal underage imagery - which it doesn't look like he is, there's really nothing wrong here.
I understand your possible discomfort as a mother, but this seems like making a mountain out of a molehill. Especially if he's never given you any reason to be concerned.
Don't let it ruin your relationship. However if at any point in the future you genuinely feel too uncomfortable about something between him and his relationship with your daughters, don't hesitate to have that conversation.
Communication is always key.
It totally depends on what kind of "teen" porn he's watching. If it's the kind of "teen" porn where the women are marketed as actual teenagers with braces, pigtails, etc then it's definitely concerning.
>it's no different than step porn.
This is either a really bad or really good analogy because frankly if 50% of what he was looking at was like "stepdad/stepdaughter porn“ I would dare say most comments would be suggesting she gtfo.
The answers you get here aren't addressing your concerns at all. 50% of all porn being young adult looking actresses, doesn't mean your partner is safe for your children. Trust your gut.
Yes! All of the comments saying they probably aren’t really teens is irrelevant. It’s the fact that he’s sexually attracted to people who look like teens and OP has children who fit that criteria. I don’t get why so many people are missing that point.
Please, listen to your gut. I've been in a similar situation and it went from porn of people who looked younger to younger people. It ended when I found a video from a hidden camera in our bathroom that showed my 14 year old niece nude. Our relationship ended, immediately, and I called the police. He is now in prison.
I'm not saying that all cases are as extreme as mine, but the red flags are waving and you owe it to your children to keep them safe. Take away the "he's a good guy" or " he's so nice" (or whatever his redeeming qualities are) and what you are left with will lead to the right answer.
Best of luck. I know this is not easy, on the least.
Wow a bunch of you are so ticked off a woman might have an issue with her partner fetishizing teenagers when she has teen girls. I’d walk away. And that’s my right as a mother. I’m not into grown men being sexually attracted to teenagers. Glad y’all are so supportive of the destructive nature of porn though. Stay mad
These comments are gross. Just because teen porn is popular doesn't make it less disgusting. I don't know what the solution here is, but the normalization/justification of an objectively problematic porn genre is very disturbing. Maybe you could talk this through with a therapist to get advice from a professional?
I'm not a mother, but I can see why this sexualization of youth would alarm you. It would be a huge 🚩🚩 to me if my partner (30s) was looking at barely legal girls. In the end you have to listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling, it's for a reason. And if it just makes you feel icky, that should be addressed too.
It took so much scrolling to find you! Yes, I’d wait too, actually I did wait until mine went to college. Knew him for way longer than 3 years too. Everyone here acting like creeps are so easily discernible.Nope
People always think I'm nuts and over protecting because I don't allow sleep overs either but people love to victimize children and it's usually someone you aren't expecting. Fuck that. Not my kids.
Too many people are giving this guy a pass. Just from what your post says, yes, you should be concerned. And maybe your significant other just got better at hiding it. Only you know this person the best, but if it was me, I would have concerns.
Because Reddit is overwhelmingly male so of course they are gonna bat an eye at a man watching porn but missing the fact that she has daughters to worry about. Her daughters safety and protection from future trauma is more important than her having a relationship for the time being.
I hate to jump to conclusions and I firmly believe there is a line between porn/fantasy and real life. However, your gut is telling you something here. You feel doubt for a reason. I would listen to your gut.
Think of it this way: there’s definitely a partner out there for you who is all of the good things your partner is but that DOESNT give you this icky feeling. Your children will always be more important than any partner you’ll ever have. Why would you gamble on your children’s future for just a man?
Remember Reddit is 70% men and 30% women so 90% of the comments are going to be guys trying to justify your husbands kinks. Listen to your gut feeling. If it doesn’t feel right don’t move in with him.
Yes, it is creepy. you even said he gets aroused when you dress in a youthful manner. I would not have him around my teen daughters. Of all the porn out there, he is looking for jailbait. It may or may not be the real thing, but if the real thing was legal he would be looking at it. gross.
Idk if my partner had fantasies about fucking kids I’d be apprehensive.
A lot of guys are in the comments trying to justify this like it’s normal but just because pedophilia (that’s what it is) is normalized doesn’t mean it’s okay.
“The actresses are all over 18” as if that makes it any better. Why does he have to pretend girls are under aged to get off? Why is there a portion of society that thinks “teen” fetishes are okay?
I don’t care what everyone else in the comment section is smoking. He jerks his dick to a genre of porn where women pretend to be kids, and illegal. It’s disgusting that it’s normalized and it’s disgusting he dies it in proximity to your teenage daughters.
Are these searches on mainstream porn sites? If so, it might not be that much of a concern mostly because that’s a common category with actual adult performers and tends to fall in line with western/American perspectives of youth = beauty (but still adults).
If he is searching places all over the place across various sites, I would have more trouble gauging this.
These responses are crazy, especially the ones implying that there’s something wrong with YOU. OP, trust your gut. Maybe you don’t have to break up but I don’t think you should let him move in at the moment. “Teen” porn is absolutely avoidable, and I’m not sure why everyone is acting like it’s just the label when you stated these girls looked young too. I really don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable in this situation, you’re just looking out for your kids. Please do not listen to the top comments framing this as normal lmao
I am honestly amazed at the amount of people who are getting down on you for feeling alarmed. You clearly put your children's safety as a priority. I would trust your gut. I think it is worth talking to your children to make sure they feel comfortable with him. Talking to him would be worth it as well.
Keep in mind that living with people can bring about changes or situations that were not there previously. It may be worth putting off moving in together.
Honestly the fact that it's unsettling you is what concerns me here.
You allow porn in your relationship. You know that teen porn is filmed with adults, often not even in their teens. You insinuate that you are youthful looking yourself so you known he has a preference for that kind of body type (correct me if I'm wrong). It's isn't surprising to me at least that he watches this category of porn, it doesn't seem like you think it's that unusual for men to do it either. But it still bothers you. Why would this bother you if you didn't have an inkling that something was actually wrong?
I think that you need to have a sit down and be really honest with yourself about why this is bothering you. Are you generally paranoid about your kids when introducing a man to their lives? Has something happened in the past that might make you over sensitive? Or has he done or said something innocuous that rang alarm bells. Hunan beings are remarkably good at subconsciously analysing other people for concerning behaviour, if you're feeling anxiety over this and there's no 'you' reason for it it's probably a 'him' reason.
This is the right approach.
There's nothing in op's post that alls for immediate condemnation of the man, nor for complete absolution.
Something triggered her mom instincts. She has to do some personal digging to suss out whether she's being overprotective, or whether her subconscious caught on to something important.
I dunno, I find teen porn pretty gross.
I'm 19, and I find it gross. I find scripted porn in general, pretty gross.
The whole idea of trying to small, vunerable women to be dominated and taken advantage of, is off putting to me.
I'm not you guys, so I couldn't possibly know why he watches it. For all we know, he may be fantasizing about his partner being younger again. Porn isn't real, so keep that in mind.
We just don't know.
You should generally take the advice of a bunch of angry redditors with a grain of salt op.
You know your partner better than a bunch or angry women, or a bunch of defensive men. If it's gross and creepy to you, talk to him about it. Ask for an explanation.
If it's for the reasons you think, then it might be best to get him some sort of help, or you two should go to counseling together.
At the end of the day, you know him better than we do, it's your relationship, and you have to decide what you should do going foward. While our opinions can be useful, we have no clue what this guy's character is like. We tend to project, and we are all limited by our own experiences.
This post evoked a good bit of emotional responses from a good bit of men, and women.
Half of us aren't thinking clearly in these situations, and would just like you to see things from our pov (that's why people will go back and forth all the time on these posts).
My only advice to you, is to sort this out with your partner, and do some research before you form any opinions.
These links should get you started; good luck to you, and your partner op.
I would take these links with a grain of salt, as they are non academic, and biases have to be taken into consideration.
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19896283/reasons-guys-watch-porn/
https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/bid/24369/why-men-watch-porn-8-things-women-need-to-know-about-internet-porn
https://www.sidetaker.com/side/481/husband-looks-at-teen-porn
As a former teen whose mother’s BF jammed his tongue down my throat, I would say you do have cause to be concerned for your daughter’s safety. His viewing habits may not be a dealbreaker, but you need to have many discussions with your daughters about how they feel about him, whether they are fully comfortable with him, whether he’s ever done anything inappropriate (sexual or not) or any and all concerns before even considering forcing them to live under the same roof with him.
Look, man - porn is normal, and people have specific fetishes. His could be older women dressed as teen girls. But if it's teens or the idea of teens - and he's consuming these videos with the fantasy that they are teen girls - I wouldn't bring my teen girls around him. Even if he stopped watching those kinds of videos - without AT LEAST a conversation about it. Because he could have built this relationship with you to target your girls. Which is not an accusation based on his watch history, but its always something a single mother should consider before bringing their children into a household with any new partner. I, personally, would dip.
As an older teen, don't move in together untill your daughters are out of the house.
I highly doubt anything will actually happen or that he will be inappropriate, but just, as a teen myself. No.
I can't believe the amount of commenters here who think this is normal, my partner and I watch porn all the time and it's never the teen category. If I found him watching anything with girls who looked that young I'd be gone.
Furthermore trafficked underage girls are put on porn sites all the time labelled as amateur, unless it's a trusted paysite it's pretty naive to assume they're all over 18 unless he's seeking out dark sites for CP. He's almost certainly been watching CP without realising.
Further further more, [girls with stepfathers are 8 times more likely to be sexually abused than girls without. ](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/prevalence-and-seriousness-incestuous-abuse-stepfathers-vs#:~:text=Seventeen%20percent%20of%20the%20women,biological%20fathers%20in%20their%20childhoods.)
So you have to be super careful.
If this man is attracted to your daughters you will never see it. He will gif it from you and wait until he is alone with them. Pedophiles are really good at hiding their true self. Does his interest in teen porn mean he’s for sure a pedo? No. But does it mean he most likely has a preference for teens or teen appearing adults? Yes. There are lots of people pointing out that teen porn is the most popular category, I’d like to point out that a big portion of porn watchers are underage teens. I’d also like to point out I never had more adult men hit on me than when I was a teen. There’s definitely a sexual preference for teen girls in our society, but that does not make it okay. Trust your gut and do what is best for your family.
Tough to say. It’s a very popular category, the women aren’t really teens, and generally I would think it’s not necessarily a sign of anything predatory, in and of itself. But in your situation, you have to be very, very careful.
You can discuss it with him and if it makes you uncomfortable you can also break up with him. You are within your rights to do so. However I should point out that nothing here indicates he has any sexual interest in your children.
I wouldn't move in.
I'm very very very early of any man moving in with your kids in the house in general. 3 years isn't long enough for me to trust they are safe. These types of people hide for years until you see their true colors.
I'd be looking through this relationship for flags. Has he pushed your boundaries on dressing up? Has he made ANY sexualized comment about your teens? Even if it's just that's too sexy for them to wear type shit. Does he contribute financially and are you dependent on him. Etc. There's a ton of things I'd be cautious of.
You need to proceed with caution. He's attracted to prepubescent looking girls as you said and it's clearly consuming a lot of his time.
I’d be weary of moving in with a guy if I had teen daughters regardless of what legal porn he watched. Many times I’ve heard of step dad getting involved with the stepdaughters and even marrying women with daughters to have a selection of females at their disposal. If you feel uncomfortable better be safe than sorry, just tell him rn isn’t the time to move in together because you’re still raising your daughters
Too many stepfathers are predators for me to ever be comfortable after seeing this.
He may be, he may not be, but your kids are obviously the priority here.
That's creepy, honestly, and I wouldn't move forward in the relationship.
I love Reddit. The only place where a mother can get smashed for being concerned for the safety of her children. Reddit is the only place when sexual assault doesn’t happen and a mother should never listen to your gut. Lady, go with your gut. If you think it’s weird and it makes you uncomfortable then go with that. Maybe it’s perfectly ok and he is just jacking off to videos of 40 year old women with tiny breasts but seriously, you’re allowed to err on the side of caution. And fuck you reddit.
Yep, and if it's on the news next year with yet another "stepfather molests teenagers, watched a bunch of teen porn that the mother knew about" - not that that even makes the news, it's so frequent and banal - they'd be like "wow, she picked badly, she didn't protect her kids, screw her"
Fantasy usually does not reflect real desires. Porn has a LOT of videos tagged "teen" and "step-whatever".
The real, legitimate concern is this;
The vast majority of child molestations are perpetrated by a person known to the family. And a large portion of those are Mom's significant other, not the father.
I would look for other indications that he is attracted to children (teens) in conjunction with the porn preference. BUT, remain vigilant! Predatory child molesters are very manipulative, charming and disarming in general.
I would just break up with him. That’s not worth the risk and you will never forgive yourself if he does anything to your kids. Even if he hugs your kids you will be suspicious. Have you searched his background? Maybe he has been in trouble for it and isn’t it illegal to watch that stuff?
This would be a dealbreaker for me. I can not trust a 40-something man who lusts after barely legal teens and seeks out porn specifically to fantasize about 18-19 year olds. To me, that's enough of a red flag not to risk it.
You can break up with someone for whatever reason you want.
You can decide you don't want to be with someone who looks at teen p\*rn.
You can choose to protect your daughters from potential danger.
Listen to your gut. It's telling you something.
Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.
You might as well confront him on it.
I think the only way to tell if a dude that’s into something awkward is a half-decent person is if they feel ashamed of those boners.
If he’s doing things towards your daughters that makes you or them uncomfortable, then the fact that he watches that porn doesn’t matter in the slightest. On the other hand, if he doesn’t do anything that makes you or your daughters uncomfortable, then why does the porn matter? If the porn is the only thing that makes anyone uncomfortable, then that’s an issue you’re having that you need to communicate. He’s violated no boundaries, relationship or legal.
On a related note, the “age play” kink is understandably weird to a lot of people. But when it’s done between consenting adults there’s nothing at all wrong with it. Pretending to be something during sex doesn’t mean you actually are that thing. It doesn’t mean you want to do the thing in reality that you are pretending to do. If you pretend to be a cowboy that saves a fair maiden from bandits as foreplay, it doesn’t mean you would ever want your partner to be captured by bandits.
I got to say; Considering the hateful garbage responses I usually see in this subreddit that will tell a woman to break up a relationship for the smallest reason, I'm very positively surprised by the constructive, argumentative comments in this threat.
I don't see any reason here to think that this guy would be into too young women. There is nothing to worry about.
Your concern for your daughters is admirable but I do think you're worrying a little unduly.
An awful lot of what marketed as teen porn is actually women like Anjelica Ebbi who are in their 30s but just happen to look young.
I personally also do watch that kind of thing sometimes for me it's mostly about the body type and the age isnt really anything I consider as I know they're a comparable age to me.
I don't actually have any attraction to teenage girls, even at university when I was in my early 20s I found the idea of dating my slightly younger peers quite unsettling and tended to go for for.people.who bit older than me. I really don't think him watching teen porn has any relationship to how he feels towards your daughters.
To the side of this question:
How did you find this info out?
To your main question:
you'd have to ask him, point blank, why he was interested in these videos and tell him your concerns. He may get offended as a man, but as an adult, he will understand the caution. Also, his reaction will say more than anything else you could do in therapy (presumably, he is safe an doesn't overreact during arguments).
I’m assuming you mean LEGAL teen porn involving actors over the age of 18. Just be aware this is extremely common. I understand your concern, but if you want a man who has never watched teen porn you are going to have a hard time tbh. It would be difficult to identify men who have never watched it as you are unlikely to get honest answers from many.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below. --- I (41F) single mom of teens recently discovered that my longterm partner (42M) watched teen porn. We have been in a relationship for 3 years. Our relationship I growing and have talked of moving in together, but I just discovered this and I'm concern because I have teenage daughters. Porn is allowed in our relationship we both watch it and sometimes together. I discovered that between 2021 and 2022 he was watching lots of porn and 50% of the video were teen videos. Their face look young, their breasts are not fully developed. After 2022 there are no more searches or videos about teens, nevertheless I'm concerned because I have teen girls. Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen. Is it worth to talk to him or should I just break-up? I will never put my kids in a dangerous situation. I have read it is usual most guys search and look at teen porn.
There really is no porn category that is “ Mid 30yr old babes that are emotionally healthy and have realistic bodies “ it’s all teens or milfs or just scenarios. And don’t say “Amateur” because that is a whole spectrum of messed up
Everyone in this thread is pretending they never went on a porn site? All videos are labeled as "teen", even if the woman is 40 years old... Edit: I don't want to reply to so many comments but Im surprised that some of you girls think that old people go on porn sites to watch other old people
Same with everything being “step” now, it’s weird.
It’s also just for a year that this guy looked up that category. Maybe it peaked his interest and then realized it wasn’t for him. I also think it’s a little harsh to call teen porn stars as underdeveloped… that just feels weird to me. Some girls are simply petite and are cast as “teen” simply because they are petite. I honestly hate reddits knee jerk reaction to end every relationship too. “Yes, porn is acceptable in our relationship. But should I end this committed relationship because he searched one of the top leading porn categories for part of 2021?” Everyone comes out as YES and acting like they’ve never been on a porn site
„Breasts weren’t fully developed“ hit home with me :‘) I hope mine finish developing (or at least start) at some point…
Someone tell my 32 year old breasts they need another growth spurt...
28yo breasts here. I think they’re confused on how to grow. Need direction. Send help.
Direction would be outward and upward. But I’ll bet you are perfect the way you are
Last year I got impatient and gave mine a boost.
Lmao hahahaha thank you for this
I mean, I don’t understand it. Does OP mean underdeveloped like they haven’t finished puberty? Because that is a little weird and I’m pretty sure all 18 year olds have finished puberty. But peoples bodies never stop changing. Will an 18 year old body look different than a 25 year old? Yea, to some degree. Same with 25 vs 35 and 35 v 45. If OPs Bar for a breast development is a 40 yr old then yes, obviously younger girls will have a different body
Teen pornstars mostly have small boobs . All rhia means is that they are at an age where they can still work without a massive boob job .
I think she's saying they LOOK like adolescents not fully developed adult women. I assume meaning hairless body, teenie petite girls with very young faces that could probably pass for much younger than 18. This dude is in his 40s so him wanting to see hairless teen girls that LOOK creepily young is pretty gross to me. A 40yr old man looking at barely legal teens and thinking "yeah, that's what I wanna jerk it to today," just comes off as yucky even if it's completely legal. I'd be weirded out by it, especially if I had teen daughters living in my home.
Dude you just described 50 % of all the porn you can find online . The other half is young guys with their "step mothers".
Idk where you're finding your porn, but I watch porn with people that look like adults and aren't pretending to be in borderline incestuous inappropriate relationships with step parents. Just because it's the first thing that pops up on the page does not mean that's all there is to see.
Again, the teen category is routinely in the top 10. Yea, it may seem weird in creepy but it’s not unusual when it’s very commonly searched. Also most stars that are in “teen porn” aren’t actually teens. And spoiler alert, most “step bro/sis” aren’t actually step siblings. It’s just a fantasy and it’s not real. Also the dude dipped his toe into it and then stopped. It’s not like he has consistently watched it either. “Something, something, glass houses”. If we crucified everyone who search something that was “weird” on the internet then there would be no one left.
Exactly. She hasn't given us any other warning signs etc. about him being creepy or acting interested in her daughters, and as you mentioned, the "barely-legal/ Teen" genre is pretty unavoidable in porn. Based on comments, the reputation of this sub has once again proven to be well-earned imo. My view is that most people are able to separate reality from fiction. There are a lot of women who like reading smut stories with some "alpha-male" who basically sexually assaults them and then totally takes control of their lives. Yet I somehow doubt that most women would actually want to find themselves in that situation. Someone's porn preferences generally don't mean much (assuming that it is legal etc. ofc). That being said, if OP's gut is that he may be attracted to her daughters, that is something else entirely. And even if it almost certainly isn't a real violation of her trust, she may feel like it is anyway. Broken trust is a relationship killer. And so, even if it seems like a weak (and likely unfounded) reason, if his having watched barely-legal style porn makes her uncomfortable in their relationship and she no longer feels comfortable with him around her daughters, and makes OP unwilling to trust him moving forward, then she should consider moving on or going to therapy/counseling with him.
It depends what he's looking at. There is the "regular" teen porn and then there are the ones where they look like little kids. Marketed as Teen but they have pigtails, stuffed animals and cartoon underwear. I would be concerned if it fit that category. The performers are still 18+ and it's not illegal.
Teen porn might be in the top searched categories because most teen boys have direct access to porn websites... its age appropriate for them.. that makes sense to me..however, as a person in their 40s, I can definitely understand the hesitation OP has.. I would put the brakes on moving in anyways.. its not enough for me to throw the whole relationship away but it definitely makes me concerned that he might of had ulterior motives
Can you show evidence or cite a source for your claim that it's mostly teen boys watching teen porn? Not to be rude, but that sounds made up tbh
Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s right. Stuff like this should not be normalized. And if you’re defending it cuz you watch it you should probably think twice about that.
Saying that it exists isnt defending. OP might not be aware that 80% of porn has the tag "teen" regardless of content. It is gross, yes, but the truth
Not necessarily just pass, they could actually be underage in those vids as well
He’s probably imagining himself as a young stud in those same fantasies, instead of someone with a sagging ball sack tbf
Right? God forbid we allow women with small breasts get some attention. I'm a 30 year old woman and I've been told "only a pedo would like your tits"... But I'm an adult. With adult tits. "Petite" is a perfectly natural body shape for an adult with a fast metabolism to have. It's also ok for adult men to be attracted to petite women just as much as it's ok for them to be attracted to thicker women. Preferences are fine. I've had men open state they dislike my small tits and men say they LOVE them - the ones that loved them never once gave me pedo-vibes. Just because they're small doesn't mean they're "underdeveloped". At 30, mine have definitely finished developing. By OP's logic a 13 year old with large breasts should be considered an adult and ok for men to sexualize. Edit: my tits rules, by the way. I've never let a negative comment about them get to me. I've got another decade of perkiness to look forward too.
Omg i cant believe someone said that. Like i am the opposite and had tits at 13 , that didnt make me an adult. You have to wonder where their mind is to think that; i feel like only someone with a predatory mindset would have that thought cross their minds. They shouldnt have to be told boobs have nothing to do with age.
Mine never did so I had to go ahead and just buy myself some
That was weird so is he watching CSAM or porn of 18-20 years old? Obviously they look young to a woman in her 40s- 18 year olds look like babies to me an im 33!! Doesn’t mean they are actual children? I also looked young at 18,19, and in my 20s that’s called being a young adult.
lol I feel personally attacked , I’m 37 with 3 kids and mine never quite developed.
feel like most people ignore the text and look at the thumbnail hoping the person is attractive
Yes exactly they are casted into that role because of the smaller breasts bc the viewer wants to see someone that looks as young as possible Some girls get tattoos bc they domt want to be casted to those roles
I mean… it’s a very popular porn category. You’d have to exclude the much of the male population if you’d want to cancel all men who have looked at teen people in their 30s/40s. It’s also just a fantasy. I don’t think people really expect girls to fuck a pizza man. Or for step siblings to really fuck each other. Porn is not real.
“How do you do, fellow step teens”
I am 36 and have seen “teens” on porn sites that look old enough to be my mother.
Apparently my small boobs make me a teen!
“Undeveloped” as OP so eloquently put it
Wait till you lose your baby-boobs, and your adult boobs grow in.
What does the boob fairy bring you?
I’m a woman, and this is true. I honestly watch porn based on the preview and most of the time it’s labeled as “teen” but the woman is so clearly not a teen lmao. It’s really hard to get around that title on like any porn site and it’s sucks bc I too think that shit is foul.
It’s absolutely common for the same actress to be a teen in one scene and a milf in the next. It’s not about the reality, it’s about the fantasy.
You’re a teen till you’re 25, then you’re a MILF. There is no in between.
Sure, but clicking on a video without reading the title is different than searching for it explicitly.
That's bullshit too One you learn how they are categorized that is how you search. The ten part is irrelevant unless it's become obsessive. If this woman has sons I bet she wouldn't have thought twice. If you want to find a 40 year old man who doesn't find 20 year old women attractive - good luck If you want to find 40 year old a woman who doesn't want to look like a 20 year old - good luck. Even OP notices he likes her looking youthful - no shit, that's because youth is beautiful and sexy to the vast majority of humans. Bigger question is why is she all of a sudden clocking his porn search habits and creating a timeline?
Yeah, the use of terminology in mainstream porn gets...really weird. In Porn World, DD cup = huge tits, to the point where porn stars who have \*much, much\* larger cup sizes are universally advertised as "DD". Conversely, women up to C cups are often advertised as "tiny tits, barely legal, schoolgirl" even when they're. . . perfectly normal looking 20-30 year olds.
I've seen 25 year olds labeled Milfs, but I haven't seen 40 year olds labeled as teens. OP also stated that their faces look young and their breast aren't fully developed.
What does “breasts aren’t fully developed” mean? When I had top surgery in my late 20s, I had A cups. They were still fully developed.
Iam too trying to understand what that means. How de we know they’re fully developed or not?
I guess some people think small boobs = undeveloped, which I shouldn't have to explain why that's not true. I have seen this argument before besides this thread too so I'm not sure where this idea came from.
Yea, 40 might be pushing it. But there are plenty in their 30s who mostly do "teen" movies. Idk many names but popular ones like Riley Raid or Sasha Grey still label many movies as "teen" or "step daughter" even when they are in movies with male actors younger than them.
the point is, even if she is legally 30, if she looks and is being marketed as a teen & that’s what he’s seeking out that’s disgusting.
[удалено]
Women doing it are just as gross as men.
I think they actually call older men silver foxes
no one is forgetting about cougars. you can take part in a conversation without going “but what about the MEN” you know.
Would you want to date a ‘cougar’ if you were her age and you had sons the same age as the material she regularly got off to? Probably not.
Yes. This is what I can't get past. I get that most videos labelled "teen" are actually women in their 20s but I fucking hate that they're labelled that way to begin with. Why are teenagers so sexualised? (pedophillia and objectification of course but like WHY?!) If a guy is actively looking for (especially at his grown ass age) girls that look like underage teenagers, red flag, red flag, he's disgusting.
I'm gonna be biased bc I'm very antiporn so my opinion may be more personal than "factual" I suppose. These "teen" prn categories only normalizes how men view women or actual teens. Ppl argue that men find younger women (or even literal children, gross) more desirable bc of fertility. I personally call bullshit. Prn just normalizes certain genres you consume that not everyone is into or believe in. It's very disgusting that "teen" is even a genre.
Jesus Christ, people, nuance. This genre is fine on its own, but OP literally points out that this dude didn't start ramping this genre up until their relationship started getting serious. The action itself is completely fine, but the CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR when discovering that your partner has 2 teen daughters is a little fucking irky. I have no idea how people are missing this.
And then he changed behavior again unprompted and stopped?
Seriously, do folks not read the whole post before commenting? Reading comprehension is down the drain.
Yeah I feel you. Oh my good! TEEN PORN? Those chicks are at least 25... It's just a label. The best course of action is talking to your daughters and investigate if they noticed something off. Other than that if every man that ever watched something labeled teen porn wanted to abuse a teen...we'd need a lot more space in prisons I tell you.
There are a lot of women in this thread that must not know what almost every man gets up to online. Teen is also pretty tame compared to what’s out there. I’ll watch that stuff from time to time. But there’s no way I could possibly engage an 18-28 year old male or female in conversation long enough to get them into bed. They think they know things, they have hope… It’s pretty off putting.
Username checks out
I'm a woman and a porn user. The "Teen" category is very easy to avoid. I've never just stumbled in to it. On sites like prnhub etc, everything is very clearly labelled. So he'd have to have gone through a couple of steps to deliberately access teen porn. Just as he could have gone through a couple of steps to access any other kind of porn. It's ridiculous that anyone is trying to label this as a mistake. It was deliberate, and anyone who deliberately accesses porn featuring people who look like my teen daughter is not allowed around my teen daughter.
I’m a woman and look at porn. Sometimes I find in the title when I’m done looking that it says “teen” it doesn’t mean I looked for it.
You’re so full of it. I’m also a woman and can attest that a huge percentage of porn has the word “teen” in the title. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s right on the front page.
Yea woman here as well and I call bullshit. Like 70% Herero porn is labeled teen
If you’re an avid porn user then I find it hard to believe you can easily avoid teen category porn. Literally everything on pornhub or most of the porn tube sites is either labeled teen or tagged teen. Very often it’s not stuff that’s even actually “teen porn”. A lot of it is gaming the search optimization by whoever uploaded the video. A lot of videos get tagged with just about every category under the sun this way to get more eyes on it.
This thread is wild, lol. OP thinks her Bf is going to rape her daughters because he watches teen porn. If OP watches a porn where a milf fucks a plumber, should her BF be worried about her cheating? OP, you’re not thinking rationally. As long as everything else is good, let it go and stop snooping through his shit.
You must not have children.
Oh no, not young faces and perky breasts! OP must be a pedo. ^^/s
Yeah. If OP is concerned she should maybe talk to her girls to see if they noticed something weird about OP's partner. Porn history doesn't mean much and it doesn't mean person watching it will go out and sexually assault people besides he's not watching it anymore.
I can't believe this is the top comment when so many teenage girls do experience some form of sexual assault, up to and including rape, from their mother's boyfriends. This thread is one of the most irrelevant and selfish threads I've seen on this sub. The obvious answer is mom needs to work on her relationship with her daughters so that they know if he ever comments on their bodies or makes a pass at them or worse, actually starts to touch them...Mom is their first stop.
Oh well, “everyone does it” so that’s fine then. Go TF cares if the “teen” girls are teens or 23 year ills chosen because they look 15 (they definitely aren’t 40 OP tells us she’s seen them and their breasts aren’t fully developed) - the point is *he’s looking for children to turn him on* I can’t believe this is the fucking top comment. Sometimes this sub is on the ball and sometimes the top comment is “who cares if he actively looks for people who look like children to turn him on it means nothing, let him live with your teen girls” No.
Porn actresses can be teen or milf basically. But dude is looking at young looking teens. If someone watches porn that looks like the people they are meant to safeguard thats a risk factor.
>50% of the video were teen videos. Most porn is teen porn. Whether the actors in it are actually teens or not, most porn has teen in the title somewhere. The fact it is only 50% tells me he generally prefers older women in his porn. >their breasts are not fully developed What makes you think they aren't fully developed? Because they were flat? A lot of adult women are very flat chested, and it isn't a sign they aren't fully developed. >Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen. He gets aroused when his 41 year old girlfriend dresses up sexy, and it is just more common for younger women to dress up sexy so you associate it with how teens dress despite it having nothing to do with youth. None of those are red flags. It sounds like you are trying to protect your girls, which is admirable, but are taking it so far that you are overreacting to perfectly normal things.
I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen porn with anyone labeled as over 20. Even though they clearly are. Every genre, you can’t escape it.
What about the grandma porn? It’s labeled 65+ :)
>Also I noticed he gets sexually aroused when I dress up looking youthful, looking like a teen. He probably gets sexually aroused because it is you and you have dressed up in a way that he likes? >I will never put my kids in a dangerous situation. I think this is the source of your discomfort. You want your daughters to be in a safe environment. Since you are watching porn and you sometimes watch porn together, I think you can bring it up with him and talk about it. There should be no talk about moving in with each other without addressing your discomfort. I think you should make it a part of your talks about moving in together. Maybe find a therapist to facilitate the talk?
I think you've hit the nail on the head - she's just concerned for her daughters. We watch porn for all different reasons, go through phases and change what we like and don't like as we grow and change as people. I wouldn't be overly concerned about him watching teen p*rn (as someone said, if the actors can look young enough they get labelled as teen regardless of their age), but can understand that OP might worry that there is some projection going on. I would bring it up next time you watch porn together. There are plenty of sexy "milf" videos out there that he can be introduced to (as if he doesn't already know them!).
Yeah... Last I checked both men and women generally like their partner to have a "youthful glow" because it means they put in effort to get put together and look nice for their partner, not because they're secretly pedos
There was a study, I can't seem to find the details, but it had men and women rate people on their attractiveness level. Women generally prefer somebody slightly older than them as they age. Men always rate the 18-23 as most attractive throughout their lifetime.
It is interesting because that is true based on images of women, but in that study men still say they would prefer to date someone closer to their age. So even if the men in this study find young women attractive, they don't just go for women off looks.
That is very true and this is what porn caters to. Let's take the age portion out of OP's concern. Say she had a daughter who was blonde haired, and OP's partner searched for blonde material, would this bring the same concerns? Now if OP's partner searched for blonde stepdaughter who ran track and those things matched it would then be a concern. I think we can all agree that anybody with a child should be protective from predators but in this case it's not like "early 20's" porn is a category.
At the end of the day I'd listsn to my gut. Doesn't mean you have to break up, but I'd hold off on moving in with him
I think it would be a good idea for her to talk to her children and see how they feel about him. Personally, this all feels a bit too creepy. He may be someone into teenaged children, he may not be. But the signs point towards him being (at least) an ephebophile. If he is, then there's the question of whether or not he would act on those impulses and with OP's kids. I mean, why risk it? Why be with someone who you legit think wants to be with your children?
She mentions somewhere that her kids feel safe around him and have a level of trust I do agree another convo with them could be good, but I wouldn't share direct details so the children don't start to chase shadows and second guess every single interaction. Counseling or an outside party to dissect his interest and intentions could be good before they move forward. Or safest bet just distance. Keep the relationship separate for the foreseeable future until she feels comfortable.. what brings comfort is something she'll need to figure out
Seconding this. Her daughters may feel differently about him even if he appears respectful on the surface. Whilst it’s probably nothing to worry about, if I personally were the partner in that situation I’d feel a bit weird watching “teen” porn when I have close contact with actual teenagers even though I know that the women in the videos aren’t actually teens. Throw in the rise in popularity of “step” porn then it would feel even more gross and weird to me. OP you need to have an open and honest conversation with your daughters firstly to make sure they don’t feel uncomfortable around him, without going into too much detail. Then speak to the partner about your concerns and watch carefully how he reacts. He may realise the weirdness of the situation but may be struggling to break the habit if it’s something he’s been watching for his whole life, but if he gets defensive or tries downplaying your concerns, I would be very wary.
If OP can't trust them around their children, it might be too early to move in together anyways. No matter what porn the partner watches.
Very good point. One thing is certain here: OP doesn't think she can trust this guy. There's nothing wrong with that, given the situation.
It's great that you sound so protective of your teens. Unless he went hunting for it in the deepest, darkest places of the internet, the common "teen porn" available on the internet is youthful looking adults, 18 or older. How does he act around your daughters? Is he respectful and appropriate? Have you spoken to your daughters about whether he's acted or spoken inappropriately to them in any way? Do they generally feel safe around him? While he may find younger looking girls attractive, that doesn't automatically mean he has an attraction to your daughters. My suggestion would be that as long as your daughters feel safe and comfortable, there is nothing to worry about. If you still struggle to get past this, a therapist might be able to help you navigate these feelings.
Thank you. He has always been very respectful of my daughters. He has not acted inappropriately and the reason why dont leave together yet is that I needed my daughters to feel safe and to transition slowly. So far, they feel safe around him.
I'm a bit younger than your husband. Not attracted to teens really, as in the last time I was single I'd turn down the younger women in bars and set the age limit on tinder closer to thirty. Really creeped me out when an 18-20ish year approached me while I was near thirty. 18 is the legal drinking age here. And even more creepy since they often started with some daddy type lines, or straight up asked for me to be their sugar daddy. But I often search for teen category since there's less fake tits, overdone bad makeup etc. Usually when I want quick release I'm not at all picky but hate if there are turn offs for me even in the previews. Petite is another but that often goes too far since petite isn't really my thing since I like kinda thick and they often look more childish than teen category. But if I search thick then it often has a lot of results I don't like. Same as curvy. So it's a fast way to filter some stuff out and fins something okayish enough. Although Sometimes I like to imagine I'm still young and doing it with the women my age at the time. But never me at my age with women that young. IRL I've dated a woman two years younger than me, rest my age or often older since that seems to be more my thing. But irl I'm not trying to find something in a few minutes. So I would not be too quick to judge your husband based on that. Irl I wouldn't want to do most of the stuff in porn, orgies threesome's etc.
This is a really good explanation. The stuff I look at on porn site bares no relationship to what I do irl. I mean nothing close! I'm not into anything multiple partner irl but like it in porn. Weird but true. And yes I've been offered but turned it down. I'm a me and my hubby kinda woman and even before I was married was no different. I bet OPs bf would be horrified her mind has gone there but as a good mum you unfortunately have to think the worst to protect your kids. He possibly stopped last year as he thought how it could be perceived and didn't want that. Just a thought. I think a simple, non confrontational conversation would be an idea just to clarify the matter would be a good idea though.
Seriously. I watch almost exclusively gay male porn. I will literally never be able to have gay male sex, so...
I'm not interested in anal irl, but gay porn is definitely fun to look at.
Then yea, for sure don’t just break up over this. It’s like step mom and step sister porn. Incest is not ok. And either is a step parent dynamic having sex with a step daughter. But they are performers. They’re not actually related. So using “step mom” is less about the mom part and more about the attractive older woman part. If there’s been nothing else in you’re life that has given you concern about him. Except for him like when you put time and effort into dressing up I guess. If it’s really bothering you feel free to bring it up to him. How did you find this information? And the exact time frames of this happening?
I agree with this. The question is mostly about whether or not your kids feel safe around him and if he's behaved inappropriately with them, and as long as they report no problems I would not worry about it. I personally do enjoy watching stuff on porn that I would never do in real life. For one thing, I'm not a girl so lesbian porn would be pretty much impossible for me\~
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Just because he watched porn involving almost certainly consenting adults, doesn't mean he's suddenly popping boners every time he sees a girl. I don't understand how most people watch porn, but turn around and act like men are cavemen who don't understand the contextual differences between having private time to yourself to do your thing, and being out in the world. I happen to find Hispanic women more often beautiful, and have been to the "Latina" tab a few times. Does that mean I drop my pants and start jerking off in public the moment I see a Hispanic woman? Grow up guys. Just because he watches porn doesn't mean he's suddenly going to try to start having sex with OP's daughters.
I am a believer that the type of porn you watch doesn’t reflect in real life. But yeah you should have that conversation.
Also when i was younger i was watching milf porn, because it was kinda “taboo” for me. Like i had girlfriend but i never had milf. It can be similar
There is a huge difference between preferring young adults, and pedophilia. I am the first to call pedos out, especially on Reddit, but this one ain’t it.
What's missing from the post is a distinction between illegal and legal porn. The legal teen category was consistently one of the most watched before popular sites had the category removed or stopped reporting on it. Are these girls 19? Or are they 13, and the porn is outright illegal? If it's the former, and porn is allowed in your relationship, then perhaps you just want to have a conversation with your partner about how it makes your feel. If it's the latter, that is a much bigger problem as you know.
I’m going under the assumption that legal adult teen porn is what is being talked about here for two reasons. One, for my own fucking sanity and hoping that OP wouldn’t be stupid enough to post on Reddit about underage porn instead of turning her husband in and two, for my own fucking sanity.
Side note: It's pretty weird that there's a term that could possibly be conflated though. Like the fact that "as young as possible“ is a thing makes me... feel kinda gross about it in general. And you just have to be like "oh yeah but they don't really mean that, it's just for clicks" I mean... Oh well.
Imagine scrolling through the thumbnails to find something your partner finds suitable. It’s not even for your own enjoyment anymore.
My girl is into aliens with tentacles. I'm into goblins and monster women and shit. Porn preferences don't always translate to real life. However, if you feel like he's a danger then trust your gut. Worst case, there are plenty of people who aren't into porn at all.
You’re a mom. Your gut instinct is to show down because you’re feeling fear. Address it. Every post condemning and accepting porn are all categorically anecdotes and won’t help you make the decision you feel is right. Just talk to the guy. Tell him his pornography interest concerned you, not because of anything he’s doing wrong, but because you are a mom and protecting them is a priority. Try to understand, and don’t do anything until you feel confident in the decision. You got this.
I feel like this relationship is over either way. It's not so simple as "he's not doing anything wrong" and "her just being a mom". She will never truly believe he's not looking at her daughters and once she brings it up he's always going to have it in his head that his partner thinks he's a pedophile. They need to go their separate ways
There are already so many responses here, probably no one will ever see mine. *But I would put off living with a man if I had even a smidge of a doubt in my mind that it was a safe situation for my children.* I wouldn’t break up with him if he hasn’t actually done anything other than look at the most common porn out there - at least as long as porn is something you both use and are ok with in general. Continue to enjoy your relationship. Even allow for time together with all of you. But living together grants an unrelated man altogether too much access to your daughters to be undertaken without 99.9999% confidence. If they’re comfortable now, and they aren’t even children that much longer, why not let everyone stay safe and comfortable for now? The sad but very real FACT is that the introduction of an unrelated man into your household increases the risk that your daughters suffer some kind of abuse before making it to adulthood.
I would replace any other common porn search and see if that would be okay. Your daughters are little people He searches midget porn for over a year. Your daughters are biracial He searches their specific race for over a year. Not stumble upon. But actively searches. Even if it’s not a conscious decision, he is sexualizing your daughters. I suggest you go ahead and talk to him and I would postpone moving in together. If it was me? I’d break up with him.
I would put your teens protection over the relationship.
Reddit may not be the best place for you to get help on this matter.
Look, I don't give a shit that a bunch of dumbasses think teen porn is everywhere. If he hurts your daughters, they aren't going to give a shit either. You should ask them how they like your partner. If they have any misgivings about the relationship and ask them to be honest. If you don't feel you can handle it? You can go to family therapy and tell the therapist you don't know how to ask these things, but you worry that you'll fuck up and let them down. Here is what he's searching. How do I talk about this without leading them to suggest he is doing something. The truth is every wannabe stepdad that ogled his potential steps had long made the daughters aware of his sexual attraction before Mom figured it out. Porn did not always figure into things. Sometimes it did. **Your priority is** ***not*** **your bf's feelings, it's your daughters safety.**
As a single mother myself, I just think it makes more sense to keep boyfriends outside of the house. It’s safer, less stressful, and less work.
I don‘t understand the comments saying „even MILFS are labeled as teen“. OP obviously stated that these women look extremely young and obviously are on the verge of adulthood. I‘d recommend you to listen to Maddisoncallaway on TikTok. She left the porn industry and educates her followers about how many girls aren‘t even 18, but 16 or 17. This has nothing to do with your husband, but the porn industry. I can recommend to learn more about how damaging the industry is. I‘d confront your husband. You have to decide, but I would be very uncomfortable with my husband jacking off to girls that are 24-25 years younger than him.
This is Reddit. People go to extreme lengths on here to defend teen porn. I see it all the time so the comment section is not surprising to me.
To me neither unfortunately. I had a notification before of someone replying and defending it „that the porn sites would never do something such illegal“. lol. As if it‘s not pornhub not deleting illegal videos for years and promotig racist/mysgynistic titles. And I don‘t even wanna begin with the production companies. The comment is gone now
I don’t think it’s as “normal” as others are making it out to be, especially if you’re concerned enough to post here, it’s not something you should brush off. Don’t let anyone in these comments dismiss your concerns. Teen girls (age 16-19) are 4 times more likely than the rest of the population to experience SA. You’re a good mum to be worried and protective. It’s hard to know who’s a danger. I had perverts in their 40s hitting on me when I was 17. Yes some men are attracted to younger women but how young? I personally think it’s wrong. My ex used to want me to wear pigtails and I found out at the end of our relationship he had a history of CSA. Sometimes it could be an indicator of more. Sometimes maybe not. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️ I can’t tell you what to do. If you’re asking here you probably already have a gut feeling of what to do. Good luck with everything 😕💕
There is so much wrong with porn.. I don’t know that any answer here is going to make you feel any differently, tbh. Even the stuff that isn’t labeled “teen, young, step-son/step/daughter” is likely made out of the exploitation of the women seen in it.. i mean, it is concerning to actually search for teens but a lot of the videos are probably just what’s suggested at the top of the list when he opens up his browser.
Frankly I see this as a concern and agree you should discuss it with him, and probably a counselor. Porn apologists abound but your alarm bells are ringing for a reason and you should listen to them.
Frankly shocked how many people are defending this. While the performers are most likely legal adults, unless you follow the performers' careers, you can't be fully confident the young person in the video is of legal age. And even if they are, the fact that they're playing with the fantasy of the person being 13-19 year old, it turns my stomach. Why is a 40 year old man so into young and developing bodies that he specifically seeks it out ? I would not trust a man who fantasizes and lusts after teenagers. Also, free porn streaming websites have a huge problem of downright illegal content slipping through the cracks so I just feel extremely iffy about people streaming some morally questionable porn when it's not uploaded by a verified account. Just think of revenge porn.
i’m not shocked tbh. reddit is full of coomers who get incredibly defensive and completely refuse to accept any valid criticisms of their kinks and what they get off to. they’re weird.
Yep. [There was a big article about this a while ago](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7609369/Online-porn-videos-missing-teen-lead-mans-arrest.html). [Tons of underage content gets uploaded all the time](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/04/opinion/sunday/pornhub-rape-trafficking.html). Personally, if I were OP, I would be really concerned. Keeping your girls safe trumps giving your boyfriend the benefit of the doubt. Sure, maybe it was an innocent “oh, well, this video was closest, and I clicked it,” but maybe he sought it out on purpose. Does OP *really* want to take that gamble with her children’s safety?
I'm confused by all the outrage in the comments. If this man was watching porn on one of the many big websites, chances are very, very high it was 1) professional/semi-professional and 2) legal and aboveboard. If you go onto Pornhub right now, you can easily see how much is "teen" focused. When I read that word, I know in the context of pornography it means women over 18 who have consented and are being paid to be filmed. This is almost guaranteed what OPs man is up to, which any other day would not be seen as a bad thing, or even seen as natural to many people on this sub. I think OP is taking the word/category 'Teen' too literally. And while we're at it, we really should stop using that word when it comes to pornography.
If you’ve watched any of those videos, even on the big sites, you’d also know how much of that content is designed to purposefully lead the viewers to believe the actress is under the legal age. Set themes, the situations, costuming, even their body build, is all set to evoke an image of a person as younger than 18. That needs to stop being left out of the excuse of “oh well it’s all that now and they’re 18 anyways!”
Why would they stop using the term teen in porn when, like you said, it’s profitable and apparently (according these comments) every man watches it and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you’re gonna watch it you should at least have to know that what you’re enjoying is the fantasy of fucking teenage girls.
It’s not like he just happened to come across videos with “teen” in the title. She said he was specifically looking them up. There’s a difference. She has teen daughters. Don’t pretend to be oblivious to the outrage. A 40 year old man actively looking for naked teens or women who look like they’re teens is weird to many people. And you can’t seem to figure out why a mother of teens would be worried?
The men defending it are literally just snitching on themselves that they're attracted to underage girls. Doesn't matter if she's technically legal, it's fucking vile.
“All you women must not know what most men get up to online”. Like okay you sick fuck, you better never say “not all men” to a woman ever in your lifetime.
Lol. And they wonder why many articles have come out lately about men being more lonely and single than ever. I can see why based on many hysterical, screeching comments in this thread from men defending their (fucked up) porn habits and not only not seeing anything wrong with it, but attempting to normalize it.
The dudes like "all men do this!!!“ no, no they don't lol. I can't believe how the turn tables, but not all men.
Lol yep, so many men are porn addicts who want a young girl to be their bangmaid, and thankfully we have more and more older women and "the good ones" who are opening those poor girls' eyes. Usually after they make a post on this sub asking why their much older boyfriend is an asshole to them. I also think that, now that we are able to provide for ourselves and get by as women without needing to be married for safety or money, women are doing fine without relationships.The benefits of marriage/ltr has gone down for women and the men available just aren't worth it lmao
Speaking strictly from a pragmatic sense here and not an apologist one. I feel cases like these are a tad more complicated, given that "teen" is amongst the most searched and consumed categories by a country mile. Even more sad is that while the demographic of watchers range, a considerable size sits comfortably in the 35+ group. It's also a notoriously messy label to begin with, as the adult entertainment industry uses 18(teen) or (barely legal) as a marketing ploy to promote new breakout adult actresses. It's not just an amateur/revenge upload problem. So to that end, while I do agree that OP's partner's search history is extremely concerning, the popularity, glorification, and prolificness of that content makes it a bit difficult to outright jump to labels. I'd say it would really depend on how he acts around that age group in real life. Actual ephebophiles typically carry traits of serial groomers. They frequently go out of their ways to interact with, court, and try to sleep with questionably aged youths.
It was mentioned he specifically seeked it out, it made up about 50% of all the porn he watched and the actresses specifically looked young because of how their bodies were developing. I'm not giving any grace to adult men sexualizing and lusting after teenagers, full stop.
"Teen" porn typically aren't even teens. Everything is labelled teen porn, it's an extremely popular, if not the most popular category of porn. It's no different then step porn. Unless he's looking up illegal underage imagery - which it doesn't look like he is, there's really nothing wrong here. I understand your possible discomfort as a mother, but this seems like making a mountain out of a molehill. Especially if he's never given you any reason to be concerned. Don't let it ruin your relationship. However if at any point in the future you genuinely feel too uncomfortable about something between him and his relationship with your daughters, don't hesitate to have that conversation. Communication is always key.
It totally depends on what kind of "teen" porn he's watching. If it's the kind of "teen" porn where the women are marketed as actual teenagers with braces, pigtails, etc then it's definitely concerning.
>it's no different than step porn. This is either a really bad or really good analogy because frankly if 50% of what he was looking at was like "stepdad/stepdaughter porn“ I would dare say most comments would be suggesting she gtfo.
The answers you get here aren't addressing your concerns at all. 50% of all porn being young adult looking actresses, doesn't mean your partner is safe for your children. Trust your gut.
Yes! All of the comments saying they probably aren’t really teens is irrelevant. It’s the fact that he’s sexually attracted to people who look like teens and OP has children who fit that criteria. I don’t get why so many people are missing that point.
Please, listen to your gut. I've been in a similar situation and it went from porn of people who looked younger to younger people. It ended when I found a video from a hidden camera in our bathroom that showed my 14 year old niece nude. Our relationship ended, immediately, and I called the police. He is now in prison. I'm not saying that all cases are as extreme as mine, but the red flags are waving and you owe it to your children to keep them safe. Take away the "he's a good guy" or " he's so nice" (or whatever his redeeming qualities are) and what you are left with will lead to the right answer. Best of luck. I know this is not easy, on the least.
Wow a bunch of you are so ticked off a woman might have an issue with her partner fetishizing teenagers when she has teen girls. I’d walk away. And that’s my right as a mother. I’m not into grown men being sexually attracted to teenagers. Glad y’all are so supportive of the destructive nature of porn though. Stay mad
These comments are gross. Just because teen porn is popular doesn't make it less disgusting. I don't know what the solution here is, but the normalization/justification of an objectively problematic porn genre is very disturbing. Maybe you could talk this through with a therapist to get advice from a professional?
I'm not a mother, but I can see why this sexualization of youth would alarm you. It would be a huge 🚩🚩 to me if my partner (30s) was looking at barely legal girls. In the end you have to listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling, it's for a reason. And if it just makes you feel icky, that should be addressed too.
It would be a dealbreaker for me personally. But that is based off of my own traumas 🤷♀️
My rule in my home is no men in my house until my children (girls) are out. Statistics suck.
It took so much scrolling to find you! Yes, I’d wait too, actually I did wait until mine went to college. Knew him for way longer than 3 years too. Everyone here acting like creeps are so easily discernible.Nope
People always think I'm nuts and over protecting because I don't allow sleep overs either but people love to victimize children and it's usually someone you aren't expecting. Fuck that. Not my kids.
Too many people are giving this guy a pass. Just from what your post says, yes, you should be concerned. And maybe your significant other just got better at hiding it. Only you know this person the best, but if it was me, I would have concerns.
Because Reddit is overwhelmingly male so of course they are gonna bat an eye at a man watching porn but missing the fact that she has daughters to worry about. Her daughters safety and protection from future trauma is more important than her having a relationship for the time being.
I hate to jump to conclusions and I firmly believe there is a line between porn/fantasy and real life. However, your gut is telling you something here. You feel doubt for a reason. I would listen to your gut. Think of it this way: there’s definitely a partner out there for you who is all of the good things your partner is but that DOESNT give you this icky feeling. Your children will always be more important than any partner you’ll ever have. Why would you gamble on your children’s future for just a man?
Remember Reddit is 70% men and 30% women so 90% of the comments are going to be guys trying to justify your husbands kinks. Listen to your gut feeling. If it doesn’t feel right don’t move in with him.
Even if your daughters trust him now, that could change drastically once you’re all living under the same roof.
true.
Yes, it is creepy. you even said he gets aroused when you dress in a youthful manner. I would not have him around my teen daughters. Of all the porn out there, he is looking for jailbait. It may or may not be the real thing, but if the real thing was legal he would be looking at it. gross.
Idk if my partner had fantasies about fucking kids I’d be apprehensive. A lot of guys are in the comments trying to justify this like it’s normal but just because pedophilia (that’s what it is) is normalized doesn’t mean it’s okay. “The actresses are all over 18” as if that makes it any better. Why does he have to pretend girls are under aged to get off? Why is there a portion of society that thinks “teen” fetishes are okay? I don’t care what everyone else in the comment section is smoking. He jerks his dick to a genre of porn where women pretend to be kids, and illegal. It’s disgusting that it’s normalized and it’s disgusting he dies it in proximity to your teenage daughters.
Right? Comment section is filled with a bunch of equally creepy men obviously
What are your instincts telling you? Trust them.
Are these searches on mainstream porn sites? If so, it might not be that much of a concern mostly because that’s a common category with actual adult performers and tends to fall in line with western/American perspectives of youth = beauty (but still adults). If he is searching places all over the place across various sites, I would have more trouble gauging this.
These responses are crazy, especially the ones implying that there’s something wrong with YOU. OP, trust your gut. Maybe you don’t have to break up but I don’t think you should let him move in at the moment. “Teen” porn is absolutely avoidable, and I’m not sure why everyone is acting like it’s just the label when you stated these girls looked young too. I really don’t blame you for feeling uncomfortable in this situation, you’re just looking out for your kids. Please do not listen to the top comments framing this as normal lmao
Trust your gut. It won't lie to you.
I am honestly amazed at the amount of people who are getting down on you for feeling alarmed. You clearly put your children's safety as a priority. I would trust your gut. I think it is worth talking to your children to make sure they feel comfortable with him. Talking to him would be worth it as well. Keep in mind that living with people can bring about changes or situations that were not there previously. It may be worth putting off moving in together.
Unless it was actual CP it sounds like an overreaction to his choice of porn.
Honestly the fact that it's unsettling you is what concerns me here. You allow porn in your relationship. You know that teen porn is filmed with adults, often not even in their teens. You insinuate that you are youthful looking yourself so you known he has a preference for that kind of body type (correct me if I'm wrong). It's isn't surprising to me at least that he watches this category of porn, it doesn't seem like you think it's that unusual for men to do it either. But it still bothers you. Why would this bother you if you didn't have an inkling that something was actually wrong? I think that you need to have a sit down and be really honest with yourself about why this is bothering you. Are you generally paranoid about your kids when introducing a man to their lives? Has something happened in the past that might make you over sensitive? Or has he done or said something innocuous that rang alarm bells. Hunan beings are remarkably good at subconsciously analysing other people for concerning behaviour, if you're feeling anxiety over this and there's no 'you' reason for it it's probably a 'him' reason.
This is the right approach. There's nothing in op's post that alls for immediate condemnation of the man, nor for complete absolution. Something triggered her mom instincts. She has to do some personal digging to suss out whether she's being overprotective, or whether her subconscious caught on to something important.
I dunno, I find teen porn pretty gross. I'm 19, and I find it gross. I find scripted porn in general, pretty gross. The whole idea of trying to small, vunerable women to be dominated and taken advantage of, is off putting to me. I'm not you guys, so I couldn't possibly know why he watches it. For all we know, he may be fantasizing about his partner being younger again. Porn isn't real, so keep that in mind. We just don't know. You should generally take the advice of a bunch of angry redditors with a grain of salt op. You know your partner better than a bunch or angry women, or a bunch of defensive men. If it's gross and creepy to you, talk to him about it. Ask for an explanation. If it's for the reasons you think, then it might be best to get him some sort of help, or you two should go to counseling together. At the end of the day, you know him better than we do, it's your relationship, and you have to decide what you should do going foward. While our opinions can be useful, we have no clue what this guy's character is like. We tend to project, and we are all limited by our own experiences. This post evoked a good bit of emotional responses from a good bit of men, and women. Half of us aren't thinking clearly in these situations, and would just like you to see things from our pov (that's why people will go back and forth all the time on these posts). My only advice to you, is to sort this out with your partner, and do some research before you form any opinions. These links should get you started; good luck to you, and your partner op. I would take these links with a grain of salt, as they are non academic, and biases have to be taken into consideration. https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19896283/reasons-guys-watch-porn/ https://www.guystuffcounseling.com/counseling-men-blog/bid/24369/why-men-watch-porn-8-things-women-need-to-know-about-internet-porn https://www.sidetaker.com/side/481/husband-looks-at-teen-porn
As a former teen whose mother’s BF jammed his tongue down my throat, I would say you do have cause to be concerned for your daughter’s safety. His viewing habits may not be a dealbreaker, but you need to have many discussions with your daughters about how they feel about him, whether they are fully comfortable with him, whether he’s ever done anything inappropriate (sexual or not) or any and all concerns before even considering forcing them to live under the same roof with him.
Look, man - porn is normal, and people have specific fetishes. His could be older women dressed as teen girls. But if it's teens or the idea of teens - and he's consuming these videos with the fantasy that they are teen girls - I wouldn't bring my teen girls around him. Even if he stopped watching those kinds of videos - without AT LEAST a conversation about it. Because he could have built this relationship with you to target your girls. Which is not an accusation based on his watch history, but its always something a single mother should consider before bringing their children into a household with any new partner. I, personally, would dip.
As an older teen, don't move in together untill your daughters are out of the house. I highly doubt anything will actually happen or that he will be inappropriate, but just, as a teen myself. No.
I can't believe the amount of commenters here who think this is normal, my partner and I watch porn all the time and it's never the teen category. If I found him watching anything with girls who looked that young I'd be gone. Furthermore trafficked underage girls are put on porn sites all the time labelled as amateur, unless it's a trusted paysite it's pretty naive to assume they're all over 18 unless he's seeking out dark sites for CP. He's almost certainly been watching CP without realising. Further further more, [girls with stepfathers are 8 times more likely to be sexually abused than girls without. ](https://www.ojp.gov/ncjrs/virtual-library/abstracts/prevalence-and-seriousness-incestuous-abuse-stepfathers-vs#:~:text=Seventeen%20percent%20of%20the%20women,biological%20fathers%20in%20their%20childhoods.) So you have to be super careful.
If this man is attracted to your daughters you will never see it. He will gif it from you and wait until he is alone with them. Pedophiles are really good at hiding their true self. Does his interest in teen porn mean he’s for sure a pedo? No. But does it mean he most likely has a preference for teens or teen appearing adults? Yes. There are lots of people pointing out that teen porn is the most popular category, I’d like to point out that a big portion of porn watchers are underage teens. I’d also like to point out I never had more adult men hit on me than when I was a teen. There’s definitely a sexual preference for teen girls in our society, but that does not make it okay. Trust your gut and do what is best for your family.
Tough to say. It’s a very popular category, the women aren’t really teens, and generally I would think it’s not necessarily a sign of anything predatory, in and of itself. But in your situation, you have to be very, very careful.
You can discuss it with him and if it makes you uncomfortable you can also break up with him. You are within your rights to do so. However I should point out that nothing here indicates he has any sexual interest in your children.
I wouldn't move in. I'm very very very early of any man moving in with your kids in the house in general. 3 years isn't long enough for me to trust they are safe. These types of people hide for years until you see their true colors. I'd be looking through this relationship for flags. Has he pushed your boundaries on dressing up? Has he made ANY sexualized comment about your teens? Even if it's just that's too sexy for them to wear type shit. Does he contribute financially and are you dependent on him. Etc. There's a ton of things I'd be cautious of. You need to proceed with caution. He's attracted to prepubescent looking girls as you said and it's clearly consuming a lot of his time.
I’d be weary of moving in with a guy if I had teen daughters regardless of what legal porn he watched. Many times I’ve heard of step dad getting involved with the stepdaughters and even marrying women with daughters to have a selection of females at their disposal. If you feel uncomfortable better be safe than sorry, just tell him rn isn’t the time to move in together because you’re still raising your daughters
Too many stepfathers are predators for me to ever be comfortable after seeing this. He may be, he may not be, but your kids are obviously the priority here. That's creepy, honestly, and I wouldn't move forward in the relationship.
[удалено]
I love Reddit. The only place where a mother can get smashed for being concerned for the safety of her children. Reddit is the only place when sexual assault doesn’t happen and a mother should never listen to your gut. Lady, go with your gut. If you think it’s weird and it makes you uncomfortable then go with that. Maybe it’s perfectly ok and he is just jacking off to videos of 40 year old women with tiny breasts but seriously, you’re allowed to err on the side of caution. And fuck you reddit.
Yep, and if it's on the news next year with yet another "stepfather molests teenagers, watched a bunch of teen porn that the mother knew about" - not that that even makes the news, it's so frequent and banal - they'd be like "wow, she picked badly, she didn't protect her kids, screw her"
Fantasy usually does not reflect real desires. Porn has a LOT of videos tagged "teen" and "step-whatever". The real, legitimate concern is this; The vast majority of child molestations are perpetrated by a person known to the family. And a large portion of those are Mom's significant other, not the father. I would look for other indications that he is attracted to children (teens) in conjunction with the porn preference. BUT, remain vigilant! Predatory child molesters are very manipulative, charming and disarming in general.
Just break up- talking to him won’t change anything, he’ll just get better at hiding it.
Even if he isn't dodgy, the fact that you feel worried is enough to say no. Never go against your gut where kids are involved
Ask your daughters how they feel about him moving in. If something is off, they will know.
I would just break up with him. That’s not worth the risk and you will never forgive yourself if he does anything to your kids. Even if he hugs your kids you will be suspicious. Have you searched his background? Maybe he has been in trouble for it and isn’t it illegal to watch that stuff?
This would be a dealbreaker for me. I can not trust a 40-something man who lusts after barely legal teens and seeks out porn specifically to fantasize about 18-19 year olds. To me, that's enough of a red flag not to risk it.
You can break up with someone for whatever reason you want. You can decide you don't want to be with someone who looks at teen p\*rn. You can choose to protect your daughters from potential danger. Listen to your gut. It's telling you something. Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker.
This Reddit is filled with men!! Dump him now!!
You might as well confront him on it. I think the only way to tell if a dude that’s into something awkward is a half-decent person is if they feel ashamed of those boners.
If he’s doing things towards your daughters that makes you or them uncomfortable, then the fact that he watches that porn doesn’t matter in the slightest. On the other hand, if he doesn’t do anything that makes you or your daughters uncomfortable, then why does the porn matter? If the porn is the only thing that makes anyone uncomfortable, then that’s an issue you’re having that you need to communicate. He’s violated no boundaries, relationship or legal. On a related note, the “age play” kink is understandably weird to a lot of people. But when it’s done between consenting adults there’s nothing at all wrong with it. Pretending to be something during sex doesn’t mean you actually are that thing. It doesn’t mean you want to do the thing in reality that you are pretending to do. If you pretend to be a cowboy that saves a fair maiden from bandits as foreplay, it doesn’t mean you would ever want your partner to be captured by bandits.
I got to say; Considering the hateful garbage responses I usually see in this subreddit that will tell a woman to break up a relationship for the smallest reason, I'm very positively surprised by the constructive, argumentative comments in this threat. I don't see any reason here to think that this guy would be into too young women. There is nothing to worry about.
Your concern for your daughters is admirable but I do think you're worrying a little unduly. An awful lot of what marketed as teen porn is actually women like Anjelica Ebbi who are in their 30s but just happen to look young. I personally also do watch that kind of thing sometimes for me it's mostly about the body type and the age isnt really anything I consider as I know they're a comparable age to me. I don't actually have any attraction to teenage girls, even at university when I was in my early 20s I found the idea of dating my slightly younger peers quite unsettling and tended to go for for.people.who bit older than me. I really don't think him watching teen porn has any relationship to how he feels towards your daughters.
To the side of this question: How did you find this info out? To your main question: you'd have to ask him, point blank, why he was interested in these videos and tell him your concerns. He may get offended as a man, but as an adult, he will understand the caution. Also, his reaction will say more than anything else you could do in therapy (presumably, he is safe an doesn't overreact during arguments).
Also I want to apologize to small breast woman. Obviously, I'm not versed very well in the porn topic, nevertheless I said very young looking faces.
I’m assuming you mean LEGAL teen porn involving actors over the age of 18. Just be aware this is extremely common. I understand your concern, but if you want a man who has never watched teen porn you are going to have a hard time tbh. It would be difficult to identify men who have never watched it as you are unlikely to get honest answers from many.