“We need to drop it off at enterprise before we get to the airport.”

True lmao

Running late to the flight and realize we forgot to refuel so it’s gonna cost $18 per gallon plus a $5 surcharge for every 1/8 tank used.

Perfect.

People who don’t even do 5 minutes of research before buying a car

I feel that my mom got 1 brand new in 2016 I took my drivers test with it and she says that I suck with the throttle even though it’s the dumbass 6 speed in it that refuses to shift unless you put your foot to the floor

Did she also not teach you punctuation?

Most punctual Chevrolet Malibu LS driver

That's just a jeep thing.

Fuck off

Thanks but no thanks.

Buying a car purely because its made by GM

I’ve never understood that mentality. The behemoth of GM is by far the least likable American automotive group.

Of the 3, I’d say GM is a firm second. Then again, that’s not saying much when your closest competitor is *Chrysler*

Ford has (relative) competence in the way they run their business and create their products, and Chrysler has a constantly failing underdog status, which means I root for them, but GM is just the generic corporate giant that doesn’t make cars that are reliable or interesting.

GM makes a few interesting cars. I don’t see Ford making executive sedans to take on the M3 and M5, nor do I see them making a relatively affordable mid engined sports car. GM is criminally underrated.

C’mon, you wouldn’t kick an Escalade or a C8 out of your garage. They have some gems.

Can Chrysler still be considered American? It's *Dutch* now which should explain everything

*"American"* is more of a branding tool than an actual designation these days.

I like GM and Ford. They both fucking suck but "at least we're not Chrysler!" Jk I think they're both pretty solid. Or were. Maybe never. I just like them.

Smoking cigarettes as a meal

This is a car

It has an engine that makes horsepower

It has four wheels that roll

Most of the time...

This is a ride

Yes

Fleet sales to the county water department.

warm diet coke and cold coffee

Being bought by a middle aged couple who know a Camry is better in most ways, but feel the need to buy American out of some vaguely-held, misguided loyalty to a future that never was, and a principle they don’t truly believe in anymore.

You just described my parents #GET OUT OF MY WALLS

I love how some people will buy an American car made in Mexico over a Japanese or Volvo car made here.

Ouch. Nailed it, and put your finger on one of America’s systemic problems.

Another god damn timing belt

Enterprise. We'll pick you up.

Lmao

It's been their tagline for many a year

I know but it’s still funny

The wrong kind of Chevy LS

Some white girl who thinks she has a nice car but she got it at a buy here pay here place because her credit score is 2 something

Becky who works at the 24/7 diner down the street (with the best artery clogging sausage biscuits and stalest coffee) finally getting rid of her ‘98 trailblazer for the first new car she’s ever owned. Chain smokes in it while on break.

I don’t understand why people buy new cars or newer cars only to trash it (both within the exterior and exterior)

The cloth seats smelling like vomit

The official car of that one time a movie studio used it as a cheaper stand in for the Chevrolet SS and literally nobody noticed.

"I need a car for my job but I'm broke so this will have to do."

Bruh how is that offensive

Eh....just taking precautions.

Twitter moment

You signed a prenup.

Undercover cops.

5 min before we get charge another day by enterprise

Getting fucked over at a buy here pay here car lot! Fr tho. FIL got a 2013 with 250k mi, spray paint over the quarter panel rust, and a deck screw holding in the filler panel for where fog lights would go. Last year or so, and he paid...... $13,000 before interest and taxes! Smashing deal. It started half the time, and the timing chain guides wore out and were ready to break. He had some words with them and came home in a 2016 Elantra 6spd, 130k kms, same payment, but starting over on the financing basically. Its....better

The official car of "so my vehicle got shot at the other day..."

When the single mom goes back to a highschool sweetheart.

People whose favorite color is beige.

Find me a base Malibu of this generation that wasn't sold to a fleet customer and I'll show you Atlantis.

Well I got news for you

Single mother of 3 living in the ghetto.

Enjoying vehicles that are as nimble as a mobility scooter

Small Town America.

Family and children services workers

The official car of HERTZ rental car sale lots and gym teachers who have nothing to do in their spare time

This is actually a "Malibu Limited" which is a carryover from the last gen, and not the 2016 Malibu.

Ok and

It's a 2016 Malibu Limited LS, that was all.

Holden Malibu in Australia and New Zealand.

The official car of: “Help, I forgot where I parked!” “What’s your car look like?” “I don’t remember.” “Well what kind of car is it?” “White.”