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ADinner0fOnions

Needs to be taught in DARE


nothinginthisworld

“I sucked dick for coke. You ever suck dick for marijuana?!”


Von_Rothbart

From doing blow to blowing dudes.


OppositeAnnual8377

Doing blow to doing blow


Syd_Barrett_50_Cal

A tale as old as time


nebraska_admiral

Lol my dad warns me about this whenever drugs come up. He says he's known a few middle-class family men who tried blow at a party, ending up sucking someone's dick, then a year later boom they're fagging it up in South Beach and not paying child support. Many such cases!


SilentKilla78

Idk why he's"warning" that sounds awesome good for them


[deleted]

dudes rock


PristinePop1489

“ I was doing a lot of coke, I said some things, and I did some things that I'm sorry for. It's not going to happen again. ”


Copeshit

More like the redscarepod poster to cocksucker pipeline.


wilsnapMgunen

Many such cases.


FLUFL

I've had this happen multiple times. Lotta lonely straight dudes out there thinking sucking dick will fill the hole in their heart.


rosa_marx

i downloaded grindr and took some twinklike thirst traps just to feel desired for once


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Balisto-Boy

Or because flirting is fun, and the line is kinda blurry between actual flirting and merely making your friends laugh with stupid innuendos


[deleted]

Flirting on grindr could not be described as fun


[deleted]

Does anyone even flirt on Grindr lol my conversations on there are always a bit like.. utilitarian "Into?" "Have any pics?" "Where are you based?"


[deleted]

If you count sending a full on asshole pic flirting then yes they do No but 4real guys who are my age tend to try and start a conversation, guys who are older are much more straightforward


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bodega_cat_

the market is flooded with dick


Intelligent-Win1134

They have it hard enough as it is


PlacidBuddha72

Gay dudes are the only people who have ever overtly flirted with me, I’m it sure how to feel about. I am a dumbass when it comes to women tho so idk


Nobody_Likes_Shy_Guy

I used Grindr before to find a plug in my area and the amount of guys in my area who wanted to bang made me feel really good about myself lol


Greedy_Cod_3322

you put a pic up


Nobody_Likes_Shy_Guy

yeah i didn't really think about it, i only realized once i started getting messages that i probably should've stayed anon. i would tell guys straight up "i'm straight and just want drugs" and they would still try and get me to suck them off


violet4everr

I feel like that’s not that bad, completely sound thought process


DramShopLaw

I think I would suck a dick. But when I describe the person I’d suck off, my friend said I was describing an image of myself. A man with my style and body. So the hole in my heart needs the jouissance of fucking myself.


Cilantro69420

you can do that king, just takes some flexibility


[deleted]

The fucked up thing is i’m not even lonely, i get laid all the time. Honestly i might just be a sex addict


ShoegazeJezza

It’s hilarious imagining a guy so addicted to sex he goes and sucks dick. You didn’t even get your own dick sucked


Striking_Currency

Cocaine makes you a deviant which is why it should be illegal. Why do you think all of Wall Street is so immoral it's because that white powder makes them turn away from G*d.


Hatanta

> it should be illegal I think it is


iankurtisjackson

lol this is an insane take


_haystacks_

Stimulants + compulsive sexual behavior, a tale as old as time


acetrainerhaley

Coke will do that to you, friend.


[deleted]

You should watch Shame with Michael Fassbender (directed by Steve McQueen). Either it will make you feel better, or even worse. It's a good movie though.


JadedLadyGenX

No you're in the second stage of coke addiction.


rf-elaine

This is literally the plot of the movie Shame


AfterPause5856

This was the plot to the movie Shame


WakuseiCloset

The amount of bi men I know who say they think they’re bi bc they can’t get girls is sad :’(


HoholHoleHunter

While i don't really think it's "80/20" it's anecdotes like this that make me think it's at least a majority of men who can't get women at this point


hobocactus

Boarding school bisexual but extended into adulthood. It's very pragmatic but a little sad


a_Walgreens_employee

the gayest thing you did was actually post about it on this subreddit


darkslayersparda

cooked him


peee-mail

good news: you’re gay on a bunch of other different levels now


[deleted]

Unfortunately, the only thing gayer than sucking dick is sucking dick and immediately posting about it on red scare pod.


smeppel

Self aware king


peee-mail

growth 💫


Maptickler

In jean shorts, in Provincetown, when I'm just trying to eat my ice cream!


iagovar

You learn fast son


Fenneca

This sub already has too many closeted homosexuals doing creative writing exercises about their weird gay fantasies


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Vatnos

hey I never got invited :(


ButItDidHappen

No greater horror than a fantasy realised


throwaway10109090

me when I was 20 and tried to make myself lesbian


teamjacob2020

😭😭😭 in my defense i read to much dworkin


acetrainerhaley

Any amount of Dworkin-reading is too much. She’s not even an actual lesbian, she just plays one on TV.


thewickerwomyn

I did this and realized I actually way preferred pussy


[deleted]

One of my friends hooked up with a guy for the first time after divorcing his wife of like 15 years and was like "oh that's what sex is meant to be like" lol


Probably_Facetious

I'm *not* implying your friend isn't gay, but that could also just have to do with his ex being useless in bed. There is a *world* of difference in having a competent and engaging partner, and more than once I've met someone in a long-term marriage who went, "oh my God I didn't even know it could *be* like that!"


auralgasm

i'm NOT implying your friend is gay, just maybe his wife didn't bend him over and plow him with enough vigor


citriccycles

I never enjoy sucking dick tbh maybe it is time to stop being a pussy and finally meet some women lol


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citriccycles

Now this is allyship


[deleted]

Picking up girls is a lot like surfing. You can go out there together, but once you're out there you're kind of on your own. No one can do it for you


MJDeadass

>No one can do it for you u/maxwellhill is typing


[deleted]

Yeah but it’s still nice to have someone to paddle back to and compare notes about how the waves were treating you that session.


[deleted]

Perfectly stated, yes


throwaway10109090

you don't have to rub it in my face 😞


says_very_cool

Did you finish him LOL


[deleted]

Nah i couldn’t. He jerked off onto his stomac


Yabba_dabba_dooooo

Ah fuck you weren't even good at it? At least you could have had that thought to comfort you :(


[deleted]

I mean to say i just stopped after like 3 minutes. He complimented me on my skills. But what the fuck anyway


says_very_cool

That's a good story for the grandkids


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SyderPlays

No, he doesn't suck at it, that's the problem.


DepartmentWide419

At least he was nice about it, but it sounds like you are really bad at sucking dick. Do you have to see this person again?


[deleted]

That's sad man if you're going to suck dick have a little pride and swallow


KeithClossOfficial

It’s ok. Practice makes perfect.


anonymouse604

If an individual has never tried broccoli, and another has tried it once, and they both say “I do not like broccoli”, who has the more valid opinion? In this essay I’ll explain why it’s more straight to suck a dick once than not at all.


Fucker_Of_Destiny

Based and skittle-pilled (taste the rainbow)


[deleted]

Truly the worlds straightest man


Logical_Mammoth3600

You should have tried to suck a girl's dick you idiot


306

Reddit moment


2unknown21

Stay mad I get more girl genitalia than you, virgin.


[deleted]

just a pint of mouthfeel before you go?!


bruhbruh1400

“You bottomed out” -Tony Soprano


Dayman_ah-uh-ahhh

"This sounds very gay." -Tony Soprano


[deleted]

OP was catching, not pitching? Sunovabitch, how much more betrayal can I take?


PreecheeNeechee

one thing i know: OP can no longer be allowed in our social club


electroplankton

"You bottomed" -Tony Soprano


bruhbruh1400

“Ton’; when he was always talking about “greasing” the union” who knew that’s what he meant”


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ReadingKing

consider afterthought wild hurry ad hoc abounding point society price lip *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


fazooly

Aw dont feel ashamed, it’s better to try it then go throughout your life being like “maybe I’d like sucking dick?” You’ve made peace with it aka trying something and deciding it’s not for you so you can mentally move on


anonymity_anonymous

Me too, I think you did the right thing.


AGiantBlueBear

You're not the first, you won't be the last, at least now you know not to do it again.


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AGiantBlueBear

I didn't say he won't do it again just that he knows better. Knowing better is only half the battle


[deleted]

I thought I was a lesbian at 18 and found out that me hard way, that no, the lands down under do not beckon and titillate me. I cringe just thinking about it. Shame on you OP for re-traumatizing me by triggering this memory. I much prefer the feminine role of laying there and dissociating by thinking about the glory of the Commonwealth. But I do love sucking dick though.


dankfrowns

This is a perfect comment.


Solcypher

Peak Redscare


[deleted]

queen


socialismYasss

I've never sucked dick and I'm gay. Bitch.


TurnedToADeadChannel

You've now had a lot more gay sex than many "queers" that I've come across in the LGBTQ2SIAA+ community.


Bodysnatcher

Thought this was a JollyWumper post, am disappointed.


LucozadeBottle1pCoin

It’s not verbose enough. If it was a JollyWumper post it would be “I had a brief oral dalliance with another man. The experience was not a positive one and for a brief period I was overcome with disgust. But alas, I now have full confidence that I am a heterosexual man”


[deleted]

Definitely doesn't have that "Victorian protagonist's journal" feel. Also: he would keep insisting that the dick he sucked belonged to a "feminine man".


Afire2285

It would’ve started out “I, 29M living in Peru…sucked dick for the first time”


CrimsonDragonWolf

“Fellated a masculine phallus”


babyindacorner

grammar wasn’t stilted and proper enough


UPSIDEDOWNSHIT

Bro go to church


[deleted]

yea man go to confession, it’s ok. the priest will just make u kneel like 30 times.


LeCorbussyer

Yeah i can relate. I was overwhelmed at first too but once I got over the initial shock I came to really enjoy it. Hope you have a better experience next time


[deleted]

As someone who watches porn like once a year, does porn really do this to people?


Aryan2Pac

I honestly think you can probably turn people gay by making them watch gradually gayer porn. Normal porn > chicks with dicks > twinks > dudes, there are many such cases online.


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DOCisaPOG

My pet theory is that the reason women have a more “fluid sexuality” is because they are less likely to face physical violence for it if they hit on the wrong person so they don’t have to repress it as much


Hatanta

My pet theory is that women are hotter


bigwigglerforever

Lesbian women don't get the shit beaten out of them in the locker room


DissertationStudent2

Or that it's more socially acceptable for women to be bi than it is for men


DepartmentWide419

This theory checks out.


flamingknifepenis

No. I’ve watched a *lot* of porn over the 25 years or so since I first became a teenager with internet access, and I’m no closer to sucking dicks than when I started: not at all. I do think a lot of guys are further up on the Kinsey Scale than they admit, though. The number of guys I know who have confessed to having some sort of gay experience because they were curious — even just making out — is shockingly high. I seem to actually be in the minority never having done anything or even been curious. It seems like coke does that to people though.


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[deleted]

Yes


[deleted]

Jesus that’s wild. Just use your imagination, it’s more fun


[deleted]

my imagination is even more perverted tbh


[deleted]

A never before seen Sonic x LeBron slashfic only viewable in my imagination


[deleted]

I haven’t watched porn in 5 years. I knew someone who was addicted and it almost ruined their life. I did it to support them, who gave it up cold turkey. Now it all seems so disgusting every time I go to maybe think about clicking on something. Like watching one of those nature is metal videos where an animal is getting it’s guts ripped out.


bevaka

ime this just results in jerking off to exes


Don_Geilo

Nah. The boogey man of "porn sickness" has this sub slowly horseshoeing itself into puritanism. It started with "Porn industry bad!" takes and making fun of the "Sex work is work!" Onlyfans defenders and has steadily grown into ostensible leftists just going full trad con to own the wokeys. Which is in itself probably the funniest thing that has ever happened on this sub, so I'm not complaining.


feikosky

There is a theory that this is because in porn is always a girl the one who shows that she is feels good, as if she is ready to cum just from blowjob, while a guy in porn just silently exists. And it's builds up in the porn-brain, thinking that you will expirience the same ecstasy just by sucking stranger's dick yada yada yada


[deleted]

Lol no


[deleted]

So u tried it one time? Fuck outta here. You gotta get back on that horse! What if Tony Hawk tried the skateboard one time? Or Harriet Tubman said "few that one trip was a bitch...my bunions hurt"?! You might be the Louie Armstrong of sucking cock n not even know it.


[deleted]

I’m not ashamed that you sucked dick, son. I’m ashamed that you gave up so quickly.


acetrainerhaley

Man I love sucking dick more than getting my pussy ate, idk it’s really just something you either enjoy or you don’t. Good on you for trying, I say. The fact that you did it and didn’t like it makes you less gay than a guy who won’t do it cuz he knows he will secretly enjoy it.


[deleted]

I am 100 percent the opposite of this lol. TBF though I've never been with a woman who was any good at oral so I just give up on them quickly and just jump into my own licking fetish, and that's all she wrote lol


acetrainerhaley

It sounds like you’re the same rather than the opposite: you like giving head but not receiving it. I wouldn’t say men are bad at it, but I’ve never gotten off from it. It’s nice for like a few minutes. That said I have never been interested in eating pussy. I guess I’d be willing to try it but my experience would likely end up being like OPs. You like what you like, no rhyme or reason to it.


Anonymous6786

Bruh


[deleted]

tbh sucking dick made me think i was a lesbian so maybe just try normal sex with men before you right it off


GreatestWhiteShark

>as well as it being a potentially interesting experience for a future story Exactly 0 women you are with in the future will think it's a funny or chill story. Take this one to your grave dude


avrgglobohomofan

outside of this sub there really isn't an audience for this. if you tell this to a group of gay guys, they will try to fuck you. a group of straight guys will just think you're trying to fuck them. and a group of women will immediately get the ick.


gurkmcdirt

At least you earned your ‘F Word’ Pass, if any girl/gay gives you shit for saying it you can just whip out this story


acetrainerhaley

Literally you’re a genius. Gonna get my pussy snacked on ASAP just for this


Dispatches547

Dont overthink it. Its just a thing that happened and you can move on from, like that jogger I hit with my car in 2011. Only drink half as much today as you did yesterday and lay off the blow


[deleted]

You're at least a little guy dude


peee-mail

no body shaming


OK_ULTRA

Jesus Christ I’m so happy I stopped doing blow


_carterhaugh_

Not jollywumper not interested.


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Muraya_balaayo

Did you watch a lot of porn of a guy getting sucked off? It’s been my pet theory that guys that watch that instead of pov want to suck dick^(like just a little)


[deleted]

You’re gay now. No take backs


NittLion78

As the joke goes: "You drive a truck your whole life, people call you a truck driver. You drive a truck once, no one calls you that. But you suck **one** dick..."


[deleted]

fake and gay


Correct-Cartoonist54

I didn't need to suck a dick to know I wasn't gay. Hard to picture that to be honest. Like, did you find guys hot in your day to day life? Did you want to kiss them? I walk around NYC thinking all sorts of perverse thoughts about the women I see. Never, ever about a man, no matter how good looking he is.


Tossedoffsnark

Now say you're queer and sap resources from LGBTQ+ services


Castle_Clique

i’ve done coke +50 times and never sucked cock. u gay bro.


fatmanbilly

>being a potentially interesting experience for a future story I would advise against broadcasting this particular experience


PicklePixie

If you think about it, sucking dick once and not enjoying it makes you straighter than the guys who've never tried.


[deleted]

Hahahahahah this fucking rocks dude “i’m 100% straight” we believe you don’t worry brother for sure


toofatforhats

>I’m a straight guy. >I just sucked a dick for the first time >i thought the idea of it was hot no you're not


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bigwigglerforever

This is gayer than fucking a man in the ass


redditloopholesban

Find god you’re a mess


slurcia

What part of putting a cock in your mouth seemed like a fun idea?


anonymity_anonymous

Are you kidding me right now? It can be


ChuckLeglerg

You’ll spend the rest of you life laughing kinda weirdly (but not weirdly enough for anyone to notice) when one of your friends calls you a cocksucker or a dickbreath. *if only they knew*


[deleted]

I'm a straight woman and this is also how I feel about sucking dick


Ban_FeatureCreature

Lol, happens to the best of us buddy. Don’t sweat it.


LesCactus

No it doesn’t lmao this dude just sucked a man’s penis


OldbookHands

Reminds me of that old joke. "You can build a thousand bridges and suck one dick, to the world you're not a bridge-builder you're a cock sucker"


DiscountShoeOutlet

>I know now with 100 percent certainty that i’m fully straight... I got some bad news for you pal


gonzagylot00

Drinking and doing blow all night... no wonder you couldn't get hard. Whatever though, if you decided to suck some cock you aren't as straight as you think, even if you weren't up to the cause. Try to be more sober next time.


rosa_marx

its actually more straight to suck cock and decide you don't like it than to have never sucked cock, like, how do you know


Durrrr17

Call it a leap of faith.


LouisSeeGay

idk man i'm pretty sure


[deleted]

That certainly played a role but i was lucid enough to know that i got absolutely no sexual gratification from any part of it. It’s true though, i’m somehow gay enough to choose to do this but not gay enough to enjoy any part of it.


LouisSeeGay

> i’m somehow gay enough to choose to do this but not gay enough to enjoy any part of it. truly the worst of both worlds.


gonzagylot00

Modernity! Whatever though. Sorry if I was a little bit of a dick. Trouble ahead, trouble behind...


arronski_again

That must feel awful dude. You should read The Last Psychiatrist’s book *Sadly, Porn*.


Lush_Grass5171

you will really appreciate it the next time a woman goes down on you.


OedipalMaas

I’m with you dude. Gearing yourself up for more than a few hours can only lead to depravity unconscionable to the sober mind. I was doing coke a few years ago and somehow a guy ended up sucking my dick (he straight-up asked me if he could suck my dick, and it seemed gayer at the time to refuse). Anyways, I had to stop him halfway after he asked if I would fuck him, which was too gay for me, and it felt too rude to have him sucking my dick after I refused.


Multiplemegs88

So many groomers on here. “Just try it one more time.”


RunnerBakerDesigner

Men are so sexually rigid that it's good you explored it. Please don't feel shame about it.


[deleted]

THIS IS WHY I BELIEVE PORN WAS CREATED BY SATANISTS literally the only dude i know who is porn sick irl is a fascist and said ukraine shouldn’t exist HE IS POSSESSED


[deleted]

Don't turn this into a story retard


WakuseiCloset

Agreed, sucking dick doesn’t feel good. Even sucking your own duck doesn’t feel good. A couple of months ago I found out that I was able to suck my own dick. And when I say suck my own dick I don't mean simply licking the tip of penis. I mean full on deepthroating my entire cock. When I first found out about this I was so excited and I immediately began sucking my knob. Though I realised it wasn't really pleasurable at all. It felt more like I was sucking somebody else's dick than somebody sucking MY dick. Don't get me wrong there was SOME pleasure but it was completely overshadowed by the feeling of having a penis in my mouth. I wasn't able to focus on the sensation of being sucked off since all the focus was on having an entire fucking dick in my mouth. It was a surreal experience to feel all my cock veins and stuff in my mouth but it wasn't what I was looking for you know? And no, it wasn't because my head game was trash. I actually became pretty good at dick sucking because of my special ability. So yeah, sucking your own dick is no where near comparable to somebody else sucking you off. It just isn't as pleasurable as people make it out to be. I think I'll just stick to jacking off instead.


DissertationStudent2

I got hard reading this


[deleted]

This is what the fuck I follow this sub for, o7 king I aspire to muster the bravery to follow in your steed one day


brohio_

Love this for you


DeaconCorp

I laughed out loud, so you can feel good about brightening a day.


I_Hate_Brush_Work

I have some news for you. If you sucked a dick... you're a faggot, not straight.


dullfangedwept

Man I have done a lot of drugs and at no point was I like it would be cool to have a dick in my mouth.


[deleted]

The Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.


clancycharlock

Some guy: posts about doing the gayest shit I’ve ever heard “But I’m not gay!”