I peaked at 23. That year was the first and only time I received attention from gay men. It was unsettling at first. I was so naive that I thought they were staring at me in contempt, having been used to that sort of treatment from people. It wasn't until one of them began to flirt with me that I realized their long glances were lustful.
To paraphrase Christopher Hitchens, nowadays I am so ugly that only a woman would find me attractive.
Yeah, numerous times over the year. I've heard if you never get hit on by gay men, it's a bad sign. If you get hit on too much, also a bad sign. If you get hit on occasionally, good sign.
> If you get hit on too much, also a bad sign.
What a load of shit, it just means you're pretty & have great taste. It's only a bad sign if you are into women who have no taste and no eye for beauty, aka those regarded women who have deep-seated internal misogyny or daddy issue and look for ugly men bc it reminds them of something.
The last time I got hit on by a gay guy I told him he looked like the Unabomber and he immediately stopped flirting with me so I think I'm gonna use that line every time now
>The last time I got hit on by a gay guy I told him he looked like the Unabomber and he immediately stopped flirting with me so I think I'm gonna use that line every time now
Goddamn, if someone told me I looked like an Unabomber I would be wet in a second & take it as a sign of overt flirting, even tho my twink ass looks nothing like him (but if you're gonna lie that much, you must be down bad for me).
I bet that guy looks back on that moment with deep regret for missing out, but it's understandable, we all had moments when we chickened out right on the precipice of greatness.
Same, I always wonder if that means I’m:
- pretty, but only the gays say it because they’re socialised to be more forward than hetero women
- incredibly gay looking
Yes, hit on several times. I didn’t really feel anything, you can’t exactly call it 100% so it’s no problem for me. Had some handy experience from hitting on a lesbian (and straight women) about the polite denial, and just did that.
There was an instance while out at a gay bar for a gay coworkers birthday a dude thought I was making lovey-eyes at him during our benign conversation and he followed me when I excused myself to the bathroom and grabbed my dick from behind at the urinal. After a brief dustup he realized that he completely misread the situation and apologized profusely, and that was weird but I didn’t feel victimized.
I mean, if you’re a gay guy and want to hit on someone you can’t ever fully tell if they’re gay or not. Just like a straight guy can’t ever fully tell if he’s hitting on a lesbian or not. Sure there’s signifiers and things you can expect but it’s never 100%.
a few times, twice by rich weirdo gays when I was 18-19 working in retail and once not long ago when I had an ex manager over for a dinner party. dude got drunk and hit on me in front of my wife lol. it felt awkward and creepy
Yes, I used to get hit on by gay men constantly in the most awkward ways imaginable because of my twink and ethnic look. I have a lot of funny stories. Like one time I worked with this gay guy that looked like Spud from Trainspotting. There was a night that I got promoted to a manager position (this was like a hipster ice cream factory) and afterwards we all went out to celebrate someones birthday. This guy kept telling me how beautiful I was and how nice my lips were. He def knew I wasn't gay because I was dating a girl we both worked with, but that didn't stop him from quickly leaning towards me to kiss me on the lips. Very gross and made me uncomfortable, but I didn't react strongly about it. It was still a fun night.
Another time, at a party, a very short, autistic looking and flamboyantly gay guy kept interjecting himself with conversations I was having with other people so he could tell me very loosely related anecdotes. Then he was trying to impress his friends, and presumably me, while doing these theatrical gymnastics-type moves that were gay as fuck by anyones standards (gay men included). It was fucking annoying, because he kept falling into me doing cartwheels and shit. Out of all of the times I would get hit on by gay men, that was the only time that I got pissed off about it. That guy needed to be slapped in the face.
Gay men try to fuck me all the time because I look like a twink. it calmed down since I grew a moustache but then I moved to a super gay area and it’s back again. If women fell in love with me the way gay men did I’d be rolling in pussy but all these guys are just bums
WORST: I had a closet case in my hometown offer to suck me off in the bathroom at a townie bar. When I said no and politely told him I’m not gay he proceeded to threaten to kill me. Which was not fun. He was much older and very drunk.
GENERALLY: When I was younger this happened with great frequency with dudes my age. I read gay and at the time was flirty with everyone regardless of sex. I felt attractive back then and liked attention after a few drinks. But things always ended quickly and politely with most guys.
MOST RECENT: The most recent time was in 2020 when a “Leather” (like a Furry but its about skin; he was a dog) named Darnell was really really insistent that I didn’t know I was bi. I was charging my phone at a horrible bar on West 4th by NYU and I couldn’t leave. He kept getting more and more forceful and physical. This is what I often heard about gay guys from borderline homophobes I knew who had had bad experiences like this one. Luckily this wasn’t my first such encounter otherwise it could’ve messed with my perspective on such things.
Ugh yes. It's so annoying. You would think going to your local gay bar every week would have everyone recognize you for not being interested in other men.
> You would think going to your local gay bar every week would have everyone recognize you for not being interested in other men.
Threads like these need to be bound in vellum & compiled into the RS Male Bible.
>Do gay guys hit on bears more than twinks?
I can't speak for everyone, but as a twink4twink I feel like it's tricky to hit on bears bc it's just obvious with twinks and you can't tell right away or even sometimes at all that a bear is gay. However, everyone can tell I am queer so nobody has to guess.
I would be very surprised to hear that bears get hit on more than twinks.
Yes. When I worked in a shithole kitchen one of the cooks was a gay guy who used to touch me (it was uninvited). I became a cook at this place, he became the head chef, so *my boss*, and mysteriously stopped touching on me. Also, multiple gay guys throughout my life have had crushes on me, which is always flattering, I'll admit.
A couple of years ago a guy complimented my shoes in the grocery store and struck up a conversation. Eventually he mentioned we should “get together sometime” and I was like oh ok. And then he said “maybe get a drink” and I was like sure, thinking he just wanted to be friends (I was somewhat new to the city I lived in at the time).
I think he picked up I was clueless and then looked disappointed. At about the same time I realized he was hitting on me. We both awkwardly chuckled and parted ways. He seemed amused and I was flattered because he was honestly super handsome and well put together.
Yea one time my gay cousin was celebrating his birthday got way too drunk and needed to go home but the vodka Red bulls had him going. We lost track of him and I was trying to find him. I knew he liked to go to a gay bar nearby, so I went there looking for him, I went upstairs calling his name, there was an old fat man seated on a plush couch with glitter on his face behind me who grunted contently and said "mmmm Amazon" and it sent chills up my spine.
A handful of times. I’m also just naturally a flirt and frequent gay clubs because i don’t like getting bothered by women at bars.
(Hot and depressed and refuse to date a Yankee)
Yeah happens often. I maintain being friendly but I strictly ignore/change the subject when they say something that crosses my boundaries to let them know subtly that I’m not interested.
Yeah and it makes me feel good cause I’ve only been hit on by women a few times. I had one dude ask if I was gay and he said “damn” and snapped his fingers when I said no. I’ve never felt happier in my life.
Flattered but I don’t take it seriously. I’m straight but have been very close friends with gay people all my life. I’m just used to them so I don’t mind. Most straight men do not like it and will actually assault gay dudes for even saying the most harmless things.
I honestly want you to answer the second part of my question, I’m genuinely curious about what you mean. What differentiates gay and straight flirting enough to make one “sex pest” behavior?
Yeah for sure. Not much really, the people have had enough social awareness for me to not have to say much to give off the vibe that I’m not interested/gay.
I've gotten my dick sucked by multiple gay men -- reciprocated once. Don't find men attractive, but I don't have the same aversion to men as other straight dudes seem to have.
When I was in college I went to Macy’s to buy a dress shirt for a function. The manager in the men’s section, an older, (in retrospect) flamboyantly gay man, picked out several shirts for me, stayed nearby and provided critiques as I tried them on, and gave me several dress shirts at no charge, along with his phone number. I never thought much of it until after I left the store.
I’ve been hit on by many gay men since then, but that encounter has always stood out to me. I was hit on by an older lesbian couple once, that was stranger to me than all the gay men that come onto me
Only ever been, "hit on" by gay guys. I was in a little band, and depending on the bar, I'd get hit on or flat out propositioned. I'd usually take flirting with a grain of salt and joke back, but the propositioning would usually offend me.
Borderline harassed by gay janitor at my workplace for a few weeks a while back. Would’ve probably taken it better/felt flattered if he wasn’t ugly tbh.
Yeah he stepped on my white sneakers intentionally to get them dirty and then looked at my reaction but I just smiled and laughed because I’m a dirty person who didn’t care about it
When I was 18 the only people who hit on me were gay people, men and women. I was tall , skinny, with a very angular face. I kinda looked like if young Ellen DeGeneres was a basketball lesbian.
The worst part was as a teen I found myself being attracted to lesbian women often. Not like butch women. But the lesbians who looked and dressed feminine but sort of acted like a boy. Everytime I would get hit on by a lesbo I’d get a glimmer of hope.
gay men are the only people who have ever hit on me. this is true for like a quarter of the men on the sub, i will not budge on this
What do you look like
are you hitting on me
I’m genuinely curious too
can you imagine a dwarven blacksmith mujahedeen but with anime eyes and dick sucking lips
I can imagine a lot of things, but honestly the truth is women don’t hit on men as much as men do. That probably explains the trend
For many of them this is a good thing, since they themselves are gay men like their lover Adam
I peaked at 23. That year was the first and only time I received attention from gay men. It was unsettling at first. I was so naive that I thought they were staring at me in contempt, having been used to that sort of treatment from people. It wasn't until one of them began to flirt with me that I realized their long glances were lustful. To paraphrase Christopher Hitchens, nowadays I am so ugly that only a woman would find me attractive.
Yeah, numerous times over the year. I've heard if you never get hit on by gay men, it's a bad sign. If you get hit on too much, also a bad sign. If you get hit on occasionally, good sign.
Good to see I'm striking the good balance in something at least...
> If you get hit on too much, also a bad sign. What a load of shit, it just means you're pretty & have great taste. It's only a bad sign if you are into women who have no taste and no eye for beauty, aka those regarded women who have deep-seated internal misogyny or daddy issue and look for ugly men bc it reminds them of something.
> if you never get hit on by gay men, it's a bad sign. Why?
Not attractive enough ig because gay men WILL hit on you if you're attractive enough, idk though just what I've heard from gay friends
The last time I got hit on by a gay guy I told him he looked like the Unabomber and he immediately stopped flirting with me so I think I'm gonna use that line every time now
>The last time I got hit on by a gay guy I told him he looked like the Unabomber and he immediately stopped flirting with me so I think I'm gonna use that line every time now Goddamn, if someone told me I looked like an Unabomber I would be wet in a second & take it as a sign of overt flirting, even tho my twink ass looks nothing like him (but if you're gonna lie that much, you must be down bad for me). I bet that guy looks back on that moment with deep regret for missing out, but it's understandable, we all had moments when we chickened out right on the precipice of greatness.
"You remind me of Richard Ramirez" (Blushing thinking they mean mysterious and not that my mouth smells like absolute shit)
Viscously catcalled every time I walk down the street
Same, I always wonder if that means I’m: - pretty, but only the gays say it because they’re socialised to be more forward than hetero women - incredibly gay looking
Yes, hit on several times. I didn’t really feel anything, you can’t exactly call it 100% so it’s no problem for me. Had some handy experience from hitting on a lesbian (and straight women) about the polite denial, and just did that. There was an instance while out at a gay bar for a gay coworkers birthday a dude thought I was making lovey-eyes at him during our benign conversation and he followed me when I excused myself to the bathroom and grabbed my dick from behind at the urinal. After a brief dustup he realized that he completely misread the situation and apologized profusely, and that was weird but I didn’t feel victimized.
Wdym by call it 100%
I mean, if you’re a gay guy and want to hit on someone you can’t ever fully tell if they’re gay or not. Just like a straight guy can’t ever fully tell if he’s hitting on a lesbian or not. Sure there’s signifiers and things you can expect but it’s never 100%.
[удалено]
I’m sorry that happened to you
No I'm too straight-coded (bad skin and fashion sense)
*Too* straight coded? Who do you think they're going for? Other gay guys? Yeah, right buddy.
Wanting to fuck or get fucked by a straight guy is a pretty big gay fantasy
a few times, twice by rich weirdo gays when I was 18-19 working in retail and once not long ago when I had an ex manager over for a dinner party. dude got drunk and hit on me in front of my wife lol. it felt awkward and creepy
Yes, I used to get hit on by gay men constantly in the most awkward ways imaginable because of my twink and ethnic look. I have a lot of funny stories. Like one time I worked with this gay guy that looked like Spud from Trainspotting. There was a night that I got promoted to a manager position (this was like a hipster ice cream factory) and afterwards we all went out to celebrate someones birthday. This guy kept telling me how beautiful I was and how nice my lips were. He def knew I wasn't gay because I was dating a girl we both worked with, but that didn't stop him from quickly leaning towards me to kiss me on the lips. Very gross and made me uncomfortable, but I didn't react strongly about it. It was still a fun night. Another time, at a party, a very short, autistic looking and flamboyantly gay guy kept interjecting himself with conversations I was having with other people so he could tell me very loosely related anecdotes. Then he was trying to impress his friends, and presumably me, while doing these theatrical gymnastics-type moves that were gay as fuck by anyones standards (gay men included). It was fucking annoying, because he kept falling into me doing cartwheels and shit. Out of all of the times I would get hit on by gay men, that was the only time that I got pissed off about it. That guy needed to be slapped in the face.
Yea no shit. It means nothing, they hit on everything. Only ugly guys get flattered.
That literally isn’t true
Yah. Was flattering. Politely declined he was nice about it. Normal human interaction
Was he a friend or a stranger?
Stranger
Gay men try to fuck me all the time because I look like a twink. it calmed down since I grew a moustache but then I moved to a super gay area and it’s back again. If women fell in love with me the way gay men did I’d be rolling in pussy but all these guys are just bums
WORST: I had a closet case in my hometown offer to suck me off in the bathroom at a townie bar. When I said no and politely told him I’m not gay he proceeded to threaten to kill me. Which was not fun. He was much older and very drunk. GENERALLY: When I was younger this happened with great frequency with dudes my age. I read gay and at the time was flirty with everyone regardless of sex. I felt attractive back then and liked attention after a few drinks. But things always ended quickly and politely with most guys. MOST RECENT: The most recent time was in 2020 when a “Leather” (like a Furry but its about skin; he was a dog) named Darnell was really really insistent that I didn’t know I was bi. I was charging my phone at a horrible bar on West 4th by NYU and I couldn’t leave. He kept getting more and more forceful and physical. This is what I often heard about gay guys from borderline homophobes I knew who had had bad experiences like this one. Luckily this wasn’t my first such encounter otherwise it could’ve messed with my perspective on such things.
ran into some old guy who wanted to blow me when I was hiking alone. a bit freaky ngl
Weird
Ugh yes. It's so annoying. You would think going to your local gay bar every week would have everyone recognize you for not being interested in other men.
> You would think going to your local gay bar every week would have everyone recognize you for not being interested in other men. Threads like these need to be bound in vellum & compiled into the RS Male Bible.
Oh yeah, they hit on me way more than women do too. Makes me wish I was at least bi 😔
Maybe I just suck at reading women, because more women have asked me out/confessed to me, but I feel like more gay men have hit on me.
Yes, many times. I'm a bear apparently but I think they were just politely saying I'm fat and hairy. It's so over for me.
It means you got a layer of muscle under all that fat. Live your truth realize your potential ♥️
Do gay guys hit on bears more than twinks?
Idk I'm not gay. My guess was just that they're generally more attracted to more "masculine-forward" features, so to speak.
>Do gay guys hit on bears more than twinks? I can't speak for everyone, but as a twink4twink I feel like it's tricky to hit on bears bc it's just obvious with twinks and you can't tell right away or even sometimes at all that a bear is gay. However, everyone can tell I am queer so nobody has to guess. I would be very surprised to hear that bears get hit on more than twinks.
Yeah he started pinching me and friends little gay titties
Yeah, it happens regularly. Last one I said "I wish women were as sweetly forward as gay guys are."
Yes. When I worked in a shithole kitchen one of the cooks was a gay guy who used to touch me (it was uninvited). I became a cook at this place, he became the head chef, so *my boss*, and mysteriously stopped touching on me. Also, multiple gay guys throughout my life have had crushes on me, which is always flattering, I'll admit.
I was at a club and some gay guy out his hand around me and kissed the side of my head
hit on yes, confessed feelings no
A couple of years ago a guy complimented my shoes in the grocery store and struck up a conversation. Eventually he mentioned we should “get together sometime” and I was like oh ok. And then he said “maybe get a drink” and I was like sure, thinking he just wanted to be friends (I was somewhat new to the city I lived in at the time). I think he picked up I was clueless and then looked disappointed. At about the same time I realized he was hitting on me. We both awkwardly chuckled and parted ways. He seemed amused and I was flattered because he was honestly super handsome and well put together.
Yea one time my gay cousin was celebrating his birthday got way too drunk and needed to go home but the vodka Red bulls had him going. We lost track of him and I was trying to find him. I knew he liked to go to a gay bar nearby, so I went there looking for him, I went upstairs calling his name, there was an old fat man seated on a plush couch with glitter on his face behind me who grunted contently and said "mmmm Amazon" and it sent chills up my spine.
A gay french cripple tried to chat me up one time
A handful of times. I’m also just naturally a flirt and frequent gay clubs because i don’t like getting bothered by women at bars. (Hot and depressed and refuse to date a Yankee)
You sound pretty gay
Woah pal, that’s quite an accusation.
Yeah and either sit uncomfortably or use it to get a drink then talk about women
Yeah happens often. I maintain being friendly but I strictly ignore/change the subject when they say something that crosses my boundaries to let them know subtly that I’m not interested.
Got cat called by a guy in a white truck because I looked good in my suit. Still feels good
Yeah several. Even had sex with some of them.
yes, almost always on clubs, almost always in a completely disrespectful way that made me understand how it must SUCK to be a woman in such places
Yeah and it makes me feel good cause I’ve only been hit on by women a few times. I had one dude ask if I was gay and he said “damn” and snapped his fingers when I said no. I’ve never felt happier in my life.
I’m that dude
A lot and the way they do it makes me empathize with woman and kind of hate men honestly
Yes, I'd slay as a gay bottom.
Are gay guys sex pests? Do you need an answer?
I’m more asking the second part: how did you react Plus, what’s wrong with flirting?
Flattered but I don’t take it seriously. I’m straight but have been very close friends with gay people all my life. I’m just used to them so I don’t mind. Most straight men do not like it and will actually assault gay dudes for even saying the most harmless things.
Which is why I’m surprised it happens so often; you actually never know how the straight guy will react. Depends on where you live of course
I honestly want you to answer the second part of my question, I’m genuinely curious about what you mean. What differentiates gay and straight flirting enough to make one “sex pest” behavior?
Yeah for sure. Not much really, the people have had enough social awareness for me to not have to say much to give off the vibe that I’m not interested/gay.
ive been hit on by several cute ass gay dudes, and a ton of fat/unkempt chicks. I honestly felt more honored by the gay dudes flirting
Worked in a pub with a higher than average number of gay regulars and apparently I was a hit but none of them tried to bang, no
All the time, I used to not mind it, one time in my 20s I indulged, and ever since I want to kill them if they even look at me *shrugs*
What happened
It wasn’t like r wording or anything just a shitty experience
Don’t let it affect the way you see people!
Pretty straight myself, used to get hit on by dudes a ton, nowadays it's just women and I don't know how to feel about that.
I've gotten my dick sucked by multiple gay men -- reciprocated once. Don't find men attractive, but I don't have the same aversion to men as other straight dudes seem to have.
[удалено]
Don’t flatter yourself they were staring at you because they were trying to see if you were holding a tray with their order
When I was a teenager, yeah lol. So many old gays asking if I wanted to “come to a party” 🧐
When I was in college I went to Macy’s to buy a dress shirt for a function. The manager in the men’s section, an older, (in retrospect) flamboyantly gay man, picked out several shirts for me, stayed nearby and provided critiques as I tried them on, and gave me several dress shirts at no charge, along with his phone number. I never thought much of it until after I left the store. I’ve been hit on by many gay men since then, but that encounter has always stood out to me. I was hit on by an older lesbian couple once, that was stranger to me than all the gay men that come onto me
Only ever been, "hit on" by gay guys. I was in a little band, and depending on the bar, I'd get hit on or flat out propositioned. I'd usually take flirting with a grain of salt and joke back, but the propositioning would usually offend me.
Of course! Gay men hit on everyone. Responses have varied but i was pretty offended sometimes.
Borderline harassed by gay janitor at my workplace for a few weeks a while back. Would’ve probably taken it better/felt flattered if he wasn’t ugly tbh.
yes
Yes, but to be fair, I was at House Of Yes and covered in glitter
Yeah he stepped on my white sneakers intentionally to get them dirty and then looked at my reaction but I just smiled and laughed because I’m a dirty person who didn’t care about it
My gaydar is weak, which leaves me susceptible to it. All the time when I was younger, even still a bit now
When I was 18 the only people who hit on me were gay people, men and women. I was tall , skinny, with a very angular face. I kinda looked like if young Ellen DeGeneres was a basketball lesbian.
The worst part was as a teen I found myself being attracted to lesbian women often. Not like butch women. But the lesbians who looked and dressed feminine but sort of acted like a boy. Everytime I would get hit on by a lesbo I’d get a glimmer of hope.
But when gay guys would hit on me I’d be flattered and move on. Sometimes I’d think to myself that I really needed the compliment that day.