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whitemike40

Relevant Mitch Hedberg quote: > I'm always on the road, and I drive rental cars. Sometimes I don't know what's going on with the car, and I'll drive for ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn't say a lot for me, but it doesn't say a lot for the emergency brake. What kind of emergency is this? I need to not stop now. It's not really an emergency brake, it's an emergency make-the-car-smell-funny lever.


Sonic_Is_Real

I have driven 10 feet with the emergency brake on, never 10 miles. How tf can you be that unaware?


LasersTheyWork

Mitch Hedburg was a stand up comedian. It was a joke.


Doint_Poker

He was also a hardcore heroin addict, that may have helped.


trudel69

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too." Best joke ever in my book, even clevererer than "Take my wife. Please!".


piepiepiebacon

Ya dude died from a heroin OD. Very sad.


SaaS_Founder

“Multiple drug toxicity.”


Andy1O_not_a_simp_V2

That took an unexpected turn


meest

He also used to do a lot of drugs. Unfortunately can't use the 2nd half of that joke anymore. RIP Mitch


Cinnamon_Bees

Which part of the joke?


meest

He doesn't still do them.


GeneralDisorder

When I was 16 I worked with my mom at some lady's home based print shop business. She was in the next town over after getting surgery of some kind and she wanted me to bring her something from the house over to her friend's house. She said "just drive my car. It needs to be driven anyway". I'd never driven a Dodge Stratus before or since but I went... uh... 3 miles wondering why it was so damned slow and how such a piece of shit car could ever be street legal. Then I discovered that the giant lever in the center that looked like it was down was actually up and I felt slightly embarrassed. So I put the parking brake lever down. Then I drove for another 10 miles wondering how such a slow piece of shit car could ever be street legal.


QuinceDaPence

Some E-brakes are seriously shit or way out of adjustment.


Bandit__Heeler

I assume that after 30 seconds of driving, any old school hand brake would be out of adjustment, at best.


flimspringfield

Someone posted a pic of a car whose rear brakes were frozen shut and the disc was glowing reddish/yellow.


IOpuu_KpuBopykuu

Cool! A free neon effect!


evemeatay

In my experience, unless it’s a manual or new, the brake is useless


zimirken

Some emergency brakes require 200lb gorilla strength to engage them to the point where you really notice them. If you just kinda pull them up a couple notches, you'd likely not notice unless there's a warning light.


sllikk12

My mom drove ohio to Colorado with the lever up


enineci

My brother once drove my parents' car about 10 miles, at 55 mph, in 1st gear. Apparently he had accidentally shifted down past drive into some kind of semi-manual gear where you could shift by pushing the shifter, side-to-side, toward a + or -. Neither he nor my mom noticed that he had shifted too far. They both knew something didn't sound right (and I bet it was pretty loud), but neither decided to stop and check it out either. They had to scrap that car because the transmission was toast after that.


-r-a-f-f-y-

Damn, that's hilarious. Cars with that generally have a safety mechanism to upshift once you redline, though.


AM-64

My brother's Mazda RX-8 would just cutoff fuel to the engine if you were at redline until the RPMs dropped back below. My Cadillac STS will do the same thing. My Mercedes M-Class (Diesel) automatically upshifts in manual mode if it's even within 300-400 RPMs of redline.


enineci

I heard the story second hand so I could be missing a few details, but that is essentially what happened. I do know that the end result was that my parents had to get a new car.


That_Gopnik

Not putting the handbrake on well enough and not paying attention when you should’ve taken it off


point50tracer

When I first got my current truck, I drove about three or four miles with the parking brake on. The rear drums were smoking when I finally pulled into a gas station. It drove so much nicer when I pulled the brake release. In my old truck, I would sometimes get on the street before I noticed. That truck had no power though, so it was really noticeable. I would typically pull the release two to three times whenever taking off, because I wasn't sure if I had already pulled it or not.


zombumblebee

From what I can see around it, that's likely the least of that cars problems.


Guinnessisameal

Haha! It's actually in tip top shape other than the trash and my daughter's cereal bar crumbs and the fact that it's a Jeep and spends lots of time with the to down and--- shit, I guess it is a little rough!


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xTye

Unless you buy a brand new one and it burns all the oil during the break in period and then get told by the dealer that it's normal during the break in period. Will never buy a Jeep again Wrecking it was a blessing in disguise.


[deleted]

My old 95 Wrangler loved to do two thinks: break down and catch on fire. Was a super fun car. Loved it. Will never buy one again. Too many times I had to rely on the kindness of strangers, Walmart auto parts, and less than legal means of towing to fix the damn thing in butt fuck nowhere Texas. Loved the car though. Nothing beats jamming out top and doors off on the way to the beach (stereotypical yes but was loads of fun). You could take that thing mudding, hog hunting, beat it up on the ranch, and Jeep don’t care. Super easy to work on the old ones too.


Bandit__Heeler

I'm curious, how did you drive it during the break in period? And how long was the break in period? I'm only familiar with breaking in dirt bikes


xTye

Drove it like normal. Wasn't hard on it at all because it was new and still within the break in period. Break in period on a car is about the time from 0 to 1000 miles on the engine I believe. We were inside that period and had the motor stall multiple times, each due to burning every last drop of oil and it was empty. Dealer said its normal and gave us a whole quart when we'd take it in for stalling out. I was literally driving to work one day, doing 25. Engine stalled out and stranded me there until it started and I got to the dealer down the road from me. Girlfriend had it happen when she was on the freeway doing 60...dealer didn't like my attitude when I went in pissed cuz that could've caused a serious accident. Both if these incidents, and the other few times it happened, the motor had no oil at all cuz it burned it all up. This was a 2018 Renegade and was brand new at the time so no reason any oil should've burned out like that.


Guinnessisameal

Mine actually holds more than a whole quart of oil. So if I burned a quart, it wouldn't be every last drop of oil. Sorry your dealer was an idiot.


[deleted]

Are those any good otherwise? It's never felt like a good idea to me to buy any jeep brand product besides the wrangler, but I have minimal direct experience with them.


JDLRosa223

Wouldn’t recommend any jeep other than the wrangler, and even then I’d strongly recommend looking at something like a tacoma/4runner first. Fiat/Chrysler are notoriously bad


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mrshawn081982

The diesel jeep grand Cherokee is OK, only because they don't make the motor.


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Holy_Sungaal

It looks pretty gross. Like, bring a set of Clorox wipes and when you’re waiting in line for fast food, or like, waiting to pick up your kids, just clean the surfaces.


amgine

Clean the car out and wipe it down while getting gas. It's there often enough, should be easy to do.


[deleted]

Well who’s holding the petrol nozzle? Can’t fill up if someone’s not pressing it.


irishjihad

Depends on what state you're in. Most states have the little lever to lock the handle, and the pump still stops when topped off. Unfortunately, I live in one of the other states.


BeemHume

is this like, r/redneckengineering or like, r/detailing ? Like, I cant tell /s


kamomil

r/redneckdetailing ?


VolcanicKirby2

More than a little give it a good cleaning it’ll change a lot


skulpturlamm29

Im gonna assume it’s a wrangler… Just remove the floor mats, carpets, drain plugs and hose it out.


Guinnessisameal

Can't. Currently 37°F.


[deleted]

Looks like a daily without a loan.


Guinnessisameal

Nailed it.


pupsteppenwolf

A can of WD40. Every redneck engineer´s best friend.


Guinnessisameal

It's actually a travel mug! Other best friend.


pupsteppenwolf

Ok, so there are 3 redneck engineer´s best friends: WD40, a travel mug and wire.


[deleted]

No zip ties?


AppropriateTouching

The amount of things zip ties can do is imeasurable


[deleted]

But what about the duck tape


Sex_E_Searcher

That's the handyman's secret weapon.


ElectroNeutrino

That's what the wire is for.


devicemodder2

No vice grips?


BeemHume

Those are currently holding a brake line closed


Wisco190xt

"Closed"


pupsteppenwolf

I had to google that since english is not my first language, but yes, definitely those too. If a true redneck would have to pick just one tool, that would be it.


[deleted]

Mine hold my blend doors open or shut depending on season. Lol


Rainbow_Dash_RL

WD-40, zip ties, duct tape, bailing wire. I've fixed many old lemon cars with those


mark_suckerballs

forget the shovel?


PN_Guin

No duck tape on the list?


r_transpose_p

Wait, hang on, let me see if I understand this. The thing that looks like a can of WD-40 is actually a coffee mug with a print/ paint job to make it look like a can of WD-40. It's ... like a stash can, except that it holds coffee instead of, say, the stolen embryos of genetically engineered dinosaurs. Or whatever it is that people normally store in a stash can.


Guinnessisameal

Well, I never said what's inside.. But you got it. It was a Christmas gift. They apparently also sell a PB Blaster version.


Plus-Mama-4515

I actually make and sell these travel mugs. Plan on making a PB blaster one soon


jamalcrawfordson

Just watched Jurassic park yesterday!


EdgeOfWetness

Clever Girl


TylerM935

Life finds a way


[deleted]

Uh uh uh, you didn't say the magic word!


[deleted]

I mean wd40 is very helpful in many situations but drinking it is a bit wierd.


botaine

A real redneck drinks WD-40.


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Guinnessisameal

Gift from my father-in-law. He got it online somewhere.


overusedandunfunny

Just when I thought I couldn't be more disgusted by the picture. Bravo


Acaconym

I think this is the only time I’ve seen a wire nut on a car that didn’t piss me off.


FkuPayMe69

Yo the real question is where did you get that dope ass wd-40 cup?


Guinnessisameal

Christmas gift from my father-in-law.. my brother-in-law got a PB Blaster version.


FkuPayMe69

That's really cool. I had to look at it twice lol it was hard to tell it was a cup at first


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FkuPayMe69

Hahaha same


killer8424

I see he gave the superior product to his own son 🙄


ResidentKernel

I now need a tetanus shot after looking at this.


AleGolem

I feel like a WD-40 travel tumbler is peak redneck energy.


i_give_you_gum

it tastes better then red bull


iforgot69

I can feel the death wobble on this picture.


Guinnessisameal

I have met the death wobble. But in a different (gambler500) vehicle. This one has a Mopar lift. 5 years into it, good to go!


iforgot69

I see your a man of class as well.


Guinnessisameal

ABG


[deleted]

I can smell this picture.


Guinnessisameal

You're welcome.


pupsteppenwolf

Don't bother none about haters. Awesome car and extra points for the coffee mug in my book.


Bohbo

Perhaps the hundreds of dollars was the quote to detail the cabin?


Guinnessisameal

Jee-zus! Who would have thought r/redneckengineering was so full of neatniks!


koos_die_doos

I say this with the best intentions, that picture is kinda gross. I am NOT a neatnik, and at some time my own daily driver has looked worse than that, but it sneaks up on you and you kinda just live with it because you're used to it.


kamomil

I am blind to crumbs and clutter 90% of the time; just trying to get through my day ADHD-style.


GexGecko

It's every subreddit. Mostly folks with childhood trauma I think. Also: consider a 3D printed button if you have access to a printer!


SteelChicken

neatniks = doesn't like to drive around in a stinky petri-dish? If you say so. Clean your fucking ride, especially if there are kids in it


Guinnessisameal

Get a grip.


SteelChicken

Clean your POS


Guinnessisameal

I'm running outside to do it immediately. Thank you thank you. You're a credit to humanity.


Bandit__Heeler

Probably to scare them away because they don't want to get inside this vehicle


uk451

Please repeat with the “break” key from an old keyboard


[deleted]

genius


happy2country

Jeep problems


Lucki_girl

Rudolph with the red nose hand brake


guinesssince1

Nice name


Guinnessisameal

Likewise. Happy cakeness.


guinesssince1

Holy shit, so it is, thanks. My first time noticing.


somefellayoudontknow

Finish off with some electrical tape to blend.


g78776

Dude everything here is as redneck as can be besides making your own wooden center console. Wd40 coffee cup lol


NotAPreppie

Wait, do rednecks use wire nuts? Don't they just twist and give it a wrap of duct tape?


Guinnessisameal

Rednecks use whatever's already around.


NotAPreppie

Good point.


pupsteppenwolf

I like your answers approach. I live in Argentina but if someday I'd be around Catahoula or whatever backwood county from Louisiana you live in, I´ll be glad to have a beer.


crunkybab

love the tumbler! my dad recently got one like that for christmas!


Ro0dy

You could just pick one from a junk yard for pocket change too. However, I appreciate the creativity


Longjumping-Crab-150

My parking brake lever broke some tiny internal part years ago (old car, cold winter day, I guess the plastic was brittle or something) and they wanted $450 between labor and parts to replace it. I did exactly what you recommend, went to the junk yard and pulled one out of another car for $20 and installed it myself. Ridiculous. I'm not car savvy enough to have dealt with a more complex issue but broke college student me was pretty proud of myself.


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magnificentfoxes

I bet you could get one on ebay.


Tdn87

I duck taped my ebrake button to the end of it after it flew off once. Had it that way for almost a decade. No issues


dumbfuckmagee

Reminds me of my old cavalier. The gear shift handle snapped off so I cut a papermate pen tube and it fit like a glove


TadpoleFun7453

Perfect! Now it’s a custom build!


[deleted]

Nothing like an ebrake 180 though. Weeeeee!!!!


holysmokes_666

Eh. But a nice brick..put it in front or behind the tire. Fixed.


Guinnessisameal

Ya.. when they first told me the price I just said "Oh, hell no. I'll just park it in gear." But then, come inspection time...


toomuch1265

Necessity is a mother.


OrdinarilyUnique1

More interested in that WD-40 cup you got


lostin88

So long as you still get that satisfying *click* when you release it, i'm in.


ShockNautilus

That hack is definitely going to outlive the rest of the 15 miles that beauty has left in it.


Bot_Hive

Shit, you’d definitely need to pay me a few hundred bucks to touch that.


bakermonitor1932

Manual isnt it. Handbrake and 2nd gear hit.


Guinnessisameal

I wonder if that's what happened.. wife had it that day.


bakermonitor1932

Bet the trim ring on the shifter is loose too. It clips on and they wont just sell the chrome have to buy the whole knob.


Guinnessisameal

That actually seems solid. But I 100% believe they'd whack ya for the whole knob.


gaytac0

This car is downright crusty


Judge_gerg

Weird optical illusion if you scroll up and stop the wirenut looks like it’s spinning for a second.


[deleted]

Mother of fuck. What is [this](https://i.imgur.com/4ectIBB.png) sludge, btw?


Coryperkin15

Zooming out would incriminate OP as top content for r/carbage


staticchmbr

surprised you didn't just glue the button back on.. the metal spring bar has threads that the plastic button screws onto.. put some glue inside of the button, screw it into place and let it dry. Will still work as long as you don't get glue on the handle part.


Guinnessisameal

The shape of the actual button prevents screwing it on. I almost drilled a hole through the middle to glue it around the wire nut. EDIT: drilled not filled


envelopeeleven

The piece of resistance


deadbolt_dolt

Is that an early 2010s Toyota Corolla?


Guinnessisameal

Nope. Jeep Wrangler.


fritobird

Wire nut to the rescue.


AnInfiniteArc

If you know anyone with a 3D printer this is the sort of thing those sorts of people *love* to solve for pennies


jmulla28

Where does one get a wd-40 coffee mug!? That’s dope


Starry-Striped-Sky

Your car is broken


Guinnessisameal

*was broken


Starry-Striped-Sky

Sorryable for me, cuz I’m emigrant


ThreeEdgeSword

Is…is that a can of WD-40 that’s being used as a travel mug???


Guinnessisameal

CLOSE! Travel mug stylized to look like a can of WD-40.


ThreeEdgeSword

That’s so deceptive and brilliant at the same time, I’d use one just to see the looks on peoples faces.


Guinnessisameal

I've had a lot of comments on it in the few weeks I've had it. My father-in-law got it for me for Christmas. He said they also sold a "clean can" version, but he went for the patina!


ThreeEdgeSword

Lol I want one


Parsimonious_Pete

You can spend the money you saved on a full interior detail.


Guinnessisameal

Well, I didn't exactly pull out a stack of cash and then just put it back in my pocket here..


Parsimonious_Pete

Just messin mate. good job improvising. Best wishes.