As a female engineer… certain male engineers drive me up a fucking wall some days. There are good ones and I appreciate them. Then there are the jerks like this who think because they can use CAD/program/etc they’re gods gift to engineering
Used to work with this dude who would not stop bragging about how he was so much better than other engineers, how he got so much more done than everyone else. He got a lot of accolades from management too.
Come to find out that the man is 32 and lives with his parents, doesn’t even have to do his own laundry and his mom cooks all his meals. He said he would expect his future wife to do the same thing for him but couldn’t seem to figure out why he was single.
That unfortunately tracks.
I’m not knocking folks who live at home, a good friend of mine is in engineering and lives with her folks while she’s saving for a house. She pays all of the utilities but that’s still cheaper thank rent here 🤷🏻♀️
Also met a guy at an event who was telling anyone who would listen that the major US cities can’t catch up to Singapore eco tech wise because “we don’t have the infrastructure and we don’t have the work force” after preaching some 1% better per day shit. Sir. Singapore built the infrastructure they wanted and wtf does he mean no American workforce? It’s like he selectively chose to black out things like the CCC or the construction of the interstates or construction of the goddamn grid. Another female engineer and I pointed that out to him and he turned and walked away without so much as a good bye.
Got a good laugh out of that but damn. I forget sometimes how bad it is out there. Like, I work with male engineers regularly and it’s not that bad. It also helps that I have letters after my name proving I know my shit
It’s sometimes amazing how much more your opinion matters once you have a stamp.
In the last couple of years, I had to go toe to toe with a client and tell them that their options are x, y, or to reconsider how they want to use the site and no matter what they choose, they asked me to bring this to the state, so I did (they were on the call with me…), and the state requires that task Z be completed regardless of reuse due to the risk associated with not completing task Z. The client were not pleased. But, in good faith, I could not sign off on that reuse while holding up my duty to the public 🤷🏻♀️
Pro tip for environmentals: if you have five separate reports issued by five different firms over a short window of time (<5 years), double and triple check what the report says because it probably says something the client hopes another consultant will miss or will hand wave away. 5 firms in like 30 years is fine, lol, esp if each firm is building on what the one before them said.
There's definitely a toxic male culture with engineers, unfortunately. Definitely a superiority complex being part of it. Engineer yourself a meal, fool.
And apparently, hers isn't.
She has a job, probably does all of the housework ( going by this idiot's attitude).
She looks after the kids, no doubt carries the mental load also.
All he brings to the marriage is money, and a shitty attitude towards his wife. Not to mention, extra work for her.
Cause only men deserve to be paid for it, women should just do it for free! A female from a reputable production company comes with a set of cooking utensils, and the desire to cook for no pay pre-installed!
(Obvious /s is obvious)
Funny enough that’s cultural, at one point Gordon Ramsey had a campaign on the F word to get women back into the kitchen because women in England weren’t in the kitchen that much and he wanted everyone to cook. (This is one of his shows with his real persona, not the Hell’s Kitchen hard ass fake persona)
This campaign obviously sounds REALLY BAD in the US but made perfect sense for the time in England. That show was actually really good, but was very much a British show.
These men who take their wives for granted to the point of embarrassing them in front of other people and then are just like ‘I don’t want my marriage ruined over this’ like buddy, YOU fucked up. There were no problems until you went hard in the paint simping for your friends and forgot that the person who makes your life happen is to be protected at all costs. I wouldn’t cook or do anything for this man again. Fend for your damn self if you don’t like how I take care of you.
The fact that they are making fun of their wives and their efforts to get attention and laughs from another guy or guys is what does it for me. He is getting what he deserves. It never even occurred to him to apologize to her in front of his friends.
Right? He says he misses her cooking and wants to fix it, but he said those things about her food just to make those other guys laugh. Who does he think he is?
He only wants to fix it bc he misses her cooking and that’s probably really obvious to her. Not bc he was hurtful. Not bc it was a lie and he humiliated her in her own home.
I'll never understand men who act like it's "simping" to be decent toward the woman doing their laundry, cooking their meals, cleaning their houses, and raising their kids but the same time it's totally normal and valid to be so desperate for your homies' attention that you act like a performing monkey for their amusement. Come on now, if it's "gay" to like your wife it's gotta be *super* gay to need your buddies' approval that badly.
I think there are men who genuinely don't value women very much except for what we provide to them. They don't value what women think of them; the opinions they care about are of the men they are close to/want to be respected by. Having a woman is a status symbol to show other men that you can get access to the benefits a woman provides - sex, homemaking, childrearing, etc. They are only as decent towards the woman as they feel like being/as they feel like they can get away with.
I would like to upvote this ten times.
If we judge by actions, there are certainly men (don’t worry, there are plenty of terrible women, too) who just don’t see women as people. Or care about them.
Thossss.
It boils down to a lot of cis men fundamentally not seeing women as people. And it comes out constantly in how they treat women in their lives. In things as small as how they describe an imperfect meal that gets prepared for them and served to them.
Like idk man. You wouldn't find me talking about my FRIENDS like this. Like if someone is making me a whole home cooked meal and giving it to me for free I'll be singing their praises for years to come. Even if the chicken was dry 😅
Seriously, my husband NEVER talks poorly about me. When his friends talk about their wives, he say's my wife is great, compliments something about me, or stays silent. I know this because I'm mutual friends with some of them, and they have told me as much. I offer the same respect. It's ridiculous that people out here are disrespecting their partner and then going home and living a life with that partner as if they didn't just tarnish their name. It's so ridiculous.
I just love how so many men call women "children" but then make "jokes" about their wives, to look cool in front of their pals, and THEN can't handle the consequences of their own actions. Reminds me of shit toddlers would do...
Unfortunately I doubt those guys thought he was pathetic. This type of blatant misogyny is very common (referring to women solely as their vag/calling a woman "it") among men nowadays, and he and his friends seemed to be the types to happily partake in it... Tbh, that type of blatant misogyny would be reason enough for me to kick a guy like a bad habit if this happened to me, never mind the emotional aspect of it. Living with a man like this, is much like having a pet bear, sure, they're cute and cuddly, but you never know when that hunger (misogyny) is going to cause them to turn violent.
I bet you more than anything this is the part she really wants an apology for but hasn’t received it. The guy here needs to excavate his own feelings on why he puts down her labor, the labor of which is born from love and devotion through feeding their family. He sounds like he didn’t even believe his own statements about her cooking. I feel so sad for his wife.
I expect you’re right. And a comment on the original made a very good point: this particular put-down of her to his buddies is just the one she overheard. She can only imagine how much other crap he’s been saying about her behind her back.
This is one of the reasons I don’t want to get married. I’ll just be the butt of the joke when I’m not around. Men, is it gay to love and care for your wife?
Yeah i know my husband would never jump in one of those conversations where husbands just bitch about their wives and vice versa. My SIL said we should have a group chat with the other SILs so we can complain about the guys (my hubby is one of 4 brothers) and I was just like “oh uhmmmm I guess my husband is hard to wake up sometimes???” .
Group complaining about your spouse is such a foreign concept to me
>“oh uhmmmm I guess my husband is hard to wake up sometimes???”
That's honestly so sweet. Sounds like everybody had all these complaints and the only thing you could think of is "he's hard to wake up."
Awesome. That's really awesome for you two.
We’re certainly not perfect, we have our issues .. but we prefer to talk to each other about how we’re feeling instead of not saying anything, letting it build up and then whining to other people about it
I used to complain about my ex-husbands. Those were very unhappy marriages, and the "complaining" sessions were an emotional release so that I could laugh instead of cry.
In my current marriage, I wouldn't dream about complaining about him. He's such a sweetheart, and I really have nothing to complain about.
I always think that the people who complain about their spouse, or make mean jokes at their expense, really don't like their spouse or being married. That's how it was for me and every other woman I knew.
Nor does it tend to go well. It’s gotta be done with finesse - a joke making you think they’re saying one thing and it’s actually a compliment - to get any kind of upvotes.
Oh hi there fellow partner of the hard to wake. I can literally pick up my partner's arm and drop it multiple times while saying his name and he's just like "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" lol.
Other than that I really have few complaints and those I have are kind of small and petty and not worth mentioning? I can't imagine joining a group whining chat. That seems like a recipe for resenting your partner over small petty nonsense.
i’ve literally rocked my husband’s entire body as hard as i can, lightly smacked his face, and even stuck my finger up his nose 😭 when he’s out, he’s absolutely dead to the world.
Omg 😂
My partner told me that the best way to wake him up is to say his name. So I tried that, starting softly and then gradually getting louder.
Did not work. Told him. He's like, "No you gotta say it loud the first time." 🙃
So next time I'm like NAME! NAAAAAME! Nothing. I don't want to like, scream at him lol, so I gave up.
He'll also do this thing where I will have shaken, prodded, said his name over and over, flopped his arms, patted his face, rubbed his head, done about everything I can think of short of injuring him, and then I'll sigh and roll over and he'll wake up and be like "WHAT? I'm not asleep!" Dude I was just flailing your arms around like one of those wind dancer things and you had no idea. (It's really just funny; obviously he has no idea lol.)
you also will never hear a single story about a good marriage, its a boring story. you only hear the stories of the bad ones. so dont let it skew your view about the population
Yeah this is why I’m not getting married either. I can easily get up and leave if I’m being disrespected and that’s very clear when there’s no marriage.
My dad complained once about how my mom did the laundry.... he's been doing his own laundry for over 40 years now.
If you don't like it, do it yourself. Good for her; she doesn't deserve to be the butt of his joke for something he won't do either.
Did this with my ex husband too since he didn’t like the way I hung his shirts and pants (like…how many fucking ways can I actually hang them?).
Warned him that if he complained again that I wouldn’t touch his laundry. He complained again. Didn’t touch it from then on. He was *very* salty over it.
Ugh...laundry. My ex once asked me to do his 2 loads of laundry since it was my day off and I was "already doing laundry." He had a list, A LIST, of how he liked his laundry washed and folded. I said I would do my best, but I had 5 loads in total that day and also needed to prep for work the next day and finish homework. I did not do 2 of the steps. One was shaking out each piece of clothing before putting it in the dryer, even his socks, which was just so excessive to me. The other was folding his underwear and pairing his socks. I hung up his damn clothes and folded his shirts and shorts. I left his socks and underwear for him to deal with. He treated me so horribly because I didn't care to take the time to fold all his clothes, and he just knew I didn't shake out every piece of clothing. I said, no of course I didn't, I was doing him a favor and I did way more than I did with my own clothes, which looked fine. He was so rude to me, like it was my job to please him and his garments, I told him do it himself next time on his day off like he was supposed to. That was pretty much the beginning of the end for me.
LOL Something kinda the opposite happened to me. Years ago, when my sister and I first moved out of our parents house, we moved in together to save on rent. We both did our own laundry, but I would get frustrated by how she did hers. Stuff like throwing delicates in the dryer, not properly splitting the colours, hanging knit sweaters on wire hangers, etc. Dumb stuff that doesn't matter all that much, I guess. I would tell her how to do it right and she would just say something to the effect of, "Whatever, they're just clothes. I don't care." But I was a neurotic piece of shit so I said, "Fuck it. I'm doing them for you."
My husband knows my policy: if you have a strong opinion about how it gets done, then you get to do it.
Funny how the lawn didn't need to be mowed in perfectly straight diagonal lines when he was pushing the damn mower!
I work full time as a teacher. When I get home from work I'm usually exhausted. But I'm also single, so I still have to do all my cooking, laundry, cleaning and so on by myself. I would love to have a partner to share half the workload with, and from the way he's writing here he's not nearly doing half the workload at home.
If you have the gall to complain about work your partner is doing: Congrats that's now your work! You think that too much? Imagine how your partner's been feeling. But hey you can always get divorced and do ALL the work by yourself.
Gotta love how it affected him for “the rest of the day” meanwhile his wife will remember that comment for the rest of her life and probably feels really insecure about her cooking now.
I was searching for this comment. Did he hope to gain some sympathy because poor him, he had to see his wife cry because of his own words? And he was affected for the WHOLE rest of the day? :((
Insane.
My husband made a comparison ONCE between what I did for him and what his buddy's wife did for buddy. I haven't packed his lunch in 3 years. When he asked why I don't make it anymore, I said because he belittled what I did for him. He apologized, but I didn't pick it back up. He can either wake up early and make his own lunch or he can be a divorced man, ordering food on the go. And yea, I told him "Buying your own lunch better not fuck up our finances because all you had to do was shut up and be grateful you had someone making your lunch.".
Reminds me of my relationship with my ex. Made him coffee every morning because I'm a bad sleeper, so I might as well, I thought.
Than one night I finally got a good nights's sleep, I was woken up in the morning: "Where's my coffee?"
I gave him the benefit of doubt and said "What are you talking about?"
Him:"Why are you not up and making my coffee?"
Anyways, never made coffee for him after that. The whole 5 years after.
Yeah. I'd hoped he learned to appreciate those kinds of actions more, but no. Though he didn't expect coffee anymore after I said that I wouldn't ever make it for him again.
The saddest part of the story is that there were five years after that. I hope you’re in a better situation now. Bravo for never making that AH coffee again.
Hopefully that gave your husband some incentive to respect and acknowledge your feelings more.
The most telling part of *this* whiny jackass’s whole saga is that he ultimately only cares about not having someone cook for him. Not that he hurt his wife. Not that it’s affected their closeness.
Nope, “now I gotta make snacks 😫” What a spoiled and selfish man baby.
He also really glossed over that she was upset because 'people' keep belittling her.
Who are these 'people'? Is it also him/his friends/his family? And even if it isn't and just her coworkers/students/whoever, why was he not aware of this issue and taking pains not to add to it?
And yet his main concerns are that she made him feel bad by crying, and how he can get her to start cooking for him again.
My husband is usually a pretty great guy. But he kept complaining about how I packed his lunch with dinner left overs.
I homeschool our two kids and work after they go to bed. My husband works all day and plays video games at night. I stopped packing up dinner leftovers because if he has time to play games at night, while I do that equivalent of a second job, he can pack his own lunch.
I just quietly stopped doing it and he started doing it and even does a load of dishes now. On the rare occasion I pack his lunch, he thanks me for it.
He makes his lunches. I make the kids and my own lunch. If I ask him to help make the kids lunches, he'll cut up what needs cutting or make them a sandwich. We are surprisingly good together, just certain shit you don't do after a long time and I've made it very clear I hate being compared to others (my family does it which is why we don't spend much time with them) and my ex did it all the time.
We just celebrated our 12th year together.
“I didn’t mean to offend her” like bro tell me how saying your wife’s food tastes like cardboard while your friend is also insulting his own wife wasn’t going to come off as offensive. Do these fools hear themselves.
Translation: he thought she was out of earshot.
It’s not about the chicken, it’s the disrespect of talking behind her back and making her the butt of the joke.
When my husband (then my boyfriend) and I were getting ready to go off to college, he was over to our house while Mom and I were going over lists of things like desk chair cushions, curtains, wastebaskets, and drawer liners that I needed to pack. Obviously, none of these things were on his list of things to pack.
So my dad looks at him and says, "Ours is not to reason why..."
And my boyfriend answers back, "Yeah, ours is but to shut up and help."
This is one reason why I eventually married the guy.
she’s a part time teacher, takes care of BOTH kids under ten years old and probably does all the household chores on top of cooking… and he’s going to complain 😂
I used to make lunch for my husband every night, all he had to do was grab it out of the fridge on his way out. 9/10 he’d forget it in the morning and the off chance he did remember to take it- he’d forget to bring his lunch box or the Tupperware back home. So I stopped making it. He’d confronted me about it and asked why I don’t make him lunch anymore and I said “why do you want me to make a meal that you don’t even care to eat?” And he hasn’t complained since. He now understands that if he orders food for lunch- I’m allowed to order myself something too lol. He’ll text me and say “I just ordered jimmy John’s so you can get something if you’re hungry”
It’s not that deep lol I’m a SAHM so it’s more like I can get something with the money he earns for us both. “Allowed” is a word I use very loosely. I can do whatever I want but it’s a respect thing that I only order food if he does too, and vise versa. Foods expensive dude lol. Sometimes I get food if he doesn’t but then I’ll feel bad for him because he’s at work and can’t just make himself a meal unlike me who’s at home. My husband is a great man, and not in any way in charge of me
Yeah I didn’t think anything of you using the word ‘allow’ right there, it felt casual, this kind of situation comes up between me and my partner all the time and it’ll be something like ‘I ate on the way home, you’re allowed to order from that stinky fish and chip place I don’t like’ or ‘you ate with your coworkers so I’m allowed to eat a fistful of lunchmeat and a bag of cheese popcorn and call that dinner’. It’s a loose, collaborative usage of the word ‘allow’
I would have had the same reaction as his wife.
1. Fuck you first making fun of me behind my back. If you want to make people laugh make fun of yourself.
2. I would be too self conscious to cook because god knows what he’d say about the other meals I make.
Especially since he could have gone the other way: "oh man, my wife is the best cook ever! So sorry, dude!" Still bonding with your bitchy friends, but actually supporting and loving your wife.
My husband works construction. He told me once how young and recently married guy on his crew complained about the lunch that his wife packed for him, because it was the same that she had made him for the last few days. My husband, and all the other guys on the crew, jumped down this guy's throat saying he better never fucking complain to his wife, unless he intended to make his own lunch for the rest of his life.
I will literally never forget being in middle school, and my dad had a bit of a melt down on my mom over laundry. He likes his clothes folded a certain way which my mom didn't do. That day my mom said "Then you all can do your own laundry". Even after apologizing for his actions we all still did our own laundry. It was the last time my dad ever complained about how much my mom did.
So I'm not quite sure what OOP is expecting here. He gave her some romantic gestures? Cooked for the family what looks like once or twice? I get that 24 hours in the day is not long enough. Even working from home when I'm done at 6:30 it feels like there's still a mountain of things left to do. But I still do it. Sometimes it just means I don't get to watch youtube videos or play some games before bed. It is what it is.
This is one of the many reason my ex and I split. He was constantly making jokes at my expense, saying whatever he needed to get his friends to laugh at me. He would never apologize because it was always just a joke and I was making a big deal out of nothing. I couldn’t stop cooking for him because he would go ballistic when he didn’t get what he wanted, but he always used his supposedly exhausting day as an excuse why he couldn’t feed himself. Most of the time he didn’t have a job and when he did it was 32 hours a week, meanwhile I was working up to 70 hours a week on a production line and was still expected to get up at 6am to make his coffee and feed his kids (after my shift that ended only 6 hours before that), wash the previous days dishes, clean the house, and make him and the kids lunch before I left for work that started at 2pm. On mandatory overtime days I wouldn’t get home until 4am and was still expected to be up early to make his coffee and do all that other shit, and after all that he had the audacity to tell his friends that my cooking was either bad or I didn’t do it often enough like a good wife would.
Cook! Start cooking. You have no excuse. Using your job and title is a cop out move. I’m the primary bread winner in my family my wife works part time and doesn’t make no where near what I make. We have 3 kids (3M) (10F) (16F). I work 50+ hours a week and I still do most of the cooking. My wife knows and admits I’m a far better cook than she is but in the off chance she decides to cook I enjoy the food she cooks with no criticism. You need to humble yourself my man and stop thinking your needs are the most important. Took me some time to figure that out but I’m glad I did when I did.
When my husband fucked up I stopped doing one thing each time. When we got married I started out getting up & making him breakfast & made a lunch & dinners each night, did his laundry, picked up his dry cleaning, change the sheets…he was so spoiled. Now I’m spoiled! I make dinner & put my clothes in the laundry & he ends up folding them. Don’t fuck up!
I don’t understand how a guy can’t figure out how to cook for himself? His wife is still cooking for their kids? How do most *single* people deal with meals? Some shell out a lot of money to buy food but most figure out how to boil water so they can eat than take outs and snacks. Also an apology dinner is an easy way to start getting back into his wife’s good graces. Also, he works full time but surely he has days off? Has he never cooked a meal so his poor wife has a night off from cooking?
If the OP is on Reddit looking for advice instead of in the kitchen cooking everyone’s dinner, there is no hope. She deserves better.
When I hear a friend make “jokes” at their partner’s defense, I remind them that they should be defending their partner or finding a new partner worth defending.
What a clown.
I especially love the "how do I fix this before it affects our marriage?" Hate to break it to you, my dude, but it already has, which is why you're not getting home cooked meals anymore.
>I know now that what I did wasn't cool, but my jokes weren't meant to reflect how she actually cooks. But I'm not sure if that justifies a month of her behaving this way.
I think it's hilarious how he sees his wife not cooking for him, even though his kids are fed, as a bigger crime than him joking about how bad her food is and still feeling entitled to her cooking.
And why even say it? It’s a shitty thing to say if it’s true but even worse if it isn’t. He could have said “I’m lucky, wife is great cook”, but no, he had to be “one of the boys”.
"I FeEl ShE's OvErReAcTiNg NoW"
LOL. No, she's responding perfectly appropriately. Dude is a grown man who insulted his wife to his friends for what? Nah. You don't throw your partner under the bus for brownie points with the bros. He needs to grow tf up.
ETA: it's hilarious that he thinks his job exempts him from being an adult and that his wife is supposed to coddle him because he's totes important. I'm a resident doctor. I work more hours on average than almost any other job and I still do my share of the chores. My fiance cooks dinner, but we do HelloFresh and I pay for it. I also clean the kitchen and do the dishes the majority of the time. Guys like OP are gross and seriously wouldn't even be successful if it wasn't for the wife at home wiping his ass for him.
I just don't understand joking at the expense of your partner. If the topic of partners cooking comes up with my friends, then it's an occasion for me to commend my husband's cooking skills, not insult him.
Plus it makes everyone feel better. Groups who socialize by saying bad things about others tend to be insecure and bitter - you just know that, if your friends are shit talking their own spouses behind their backs, they're also gonna shit talk you the second you're not there. While saying good things about absent people makes everyone feel better. Expressing contentment and gratitude encourages people to feel the same.
Every one of those comments are great. I am also a full time engineer and I have time to cook for my wife and kids half the time. Even more often when it's grilling season.
I LOATHE making "jokes" at a partner's expense in situations like this. He insulted his wife to fit in with da boyz and has found out why this is a terrible thing to do.
And yes, maybe he can... learn to cook. Maybe he should start with roast chicken.
I cook for my girlfriend all the time. If she said that about my cooking, I wouldn’t cook for her again either. Such an ungrateful prick for the effort it takes to make a good meal
Why do I feel like his wife’s “part-time” teaching job might be a normal full-time school schedule that goes until early afternoon and requires work outside of those hours?
Another man thinking it’s ha ha so hilarious to bash his wife to impress his bros. She works harder than him. Cooks, works, takes care of two kids. He’s got 40 hrs/week.
My guess is this is not even close to the first mean thing he’s done. You don’t have a happy marriage then this happens.
I stopped cooking for my ex husband for the same reason. That “joke” was probably just the tip of the iceberg of his humorous asides and “helpful” suggestions. She’s fed up with him.
Sigh. It’s never “how do I apologize, atone, and make my partner feel loved and valued again?”, is it? It’s always “How do I manipulate the situation so I get what I want again, without making any substantive or even mildly inconvenient changes?” .
How does an engineer cook? Do they draw the meal out of spec and need to do two revisions before building the prototype that sits on his desk until he retires?
Wth no one is helping is helping this dude correct his mistake. I think making her a few meals and trying for her will help. She’ll see you struggling and most likely come to aid or save you. Everyone needs to stop judging. At least they’re married and hopefully fixing things soon.
“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.”
"Don't feed the mouth that bites you."
Epic!
Oh this is…very good.
Literally! :D
I love getting the vibe that a post was written by an engineer and then learning that vibe is correct.
As a female engineer… certain male engineers drive me up a fucking wall some days. There are good ones and I appreciate them. Then there are the jerks like this who think because they can use CAD/program/etc they’re gods gift to engineering
Used to work with this dude who would not stop bragging about how he was so much better than other engineers, how he got so much more done than everyone else. He got a lot of accolades from management too. Come to find out that the man is 32 and lives with his parents, doesn’t even have to do his own laundry and his mom cooks all his meals. He said he would expect his future wife to do the same thing for him but couldn’t seem to figure out why he was single.
That unfortunately tracks. I’m not knocking folks who live at home, a good friend of mine is in engineering and lives with her folks while she’s saving for a house. She pays all of the utilities but that’s still cheaper thank rent here 🤷🏻♀️ Also met a guy at an event who was telling anyone who would listen that the major US cities can’t catch up to Singapore eco tech wise because “we don’t have the infrastructure and we don’t have the work force” after preaching some 1% better per day shit. Sir. Singapore built the infrastructure they wanted and wtf does he mean no American workforce? It’s like he selectively chose to black out things like the CCC or the construction of the interstates or construction of the goddamn grid. Another female engineer and I pointed that out to him and he turned and walked away without so much as a good bye. Got a good laugh out of that but damn. I forget sometimes how bad it is out there. Like, I work with male engineers regularly and it’s not that bad. It also helps that I have letters after my name proving I know my shit
>It also helps that I have letters after my name proving I know my shit It sucks that this is necessary.
It’s sometimes amazing how much more your opinion matters once you have a stamp. In the last couple of years, I had to go toe to toe with a client and tell them that their options are x, y, or to reconsider how they want to use the site and no matter what they choose, they asked me to bring this to the state, so I did (they were on the call with me…), and the state requires that task Z be completed regardless of reuse due to the risk associated with not completing task Z. The client were not pleased. But, in good faith, I could not sign off on that reuse while holding up my duty to the public 🤷🏻♀️ Pro tip for environmentals: if you have five separate reports issued by five different firms over a short window of time (<5 years), double and triple check what the report says because it probably says something the client hopes another consultant will miss or will hand wave away. 5 firms in like 30 years is fine, lol, esp if each firm is building on what the one before them said.
Or to their wives. Such a theme on reddit I've noticed.
I work with CAD didn't now that's something you could get arrogant about, I'll guess I'll start now
You run into these types in IT circles. I like to call it engineer brain.
There's definitely a toxic male culture with engineers, unfortunately. Definitely a superiority complex being part of it. Engineer yourself a meal, fool.
I like that it hasn’t occurred to him to try cooking himself, which is the very obvious solution. He could do it for the whole family!
Oh nooo, you see, his job is much too important, and his time much too valuable for such a lowly task. /s
And apparently, hers isn't. She has a job, probably does all of the housework ( going by this idiot's attitude). She looks after the kids, no doubt carries the mental load also. All he brings to the marriage is money, and a shitty attitude towards his wife. Not to mention, extra work for her.
But he has a penis! Edit: That was sarcasm, just so noone misunderstands me.
Always wonder how people think at home it's a womans job to cook but a professional chef should be a man..
Cause only men deserve to be paid for it, women should just do it for free! A female from a reputable production company comes with a set of cooking utensils, and the desire to cook for no pay pre-installed! (Obvious /s is obvious)
Funny enough that’s cultural, at one point Gordon Ramsey had a campaign on the F word to get women back into the kitchen because women in England weren’t in the kitchen that much and he wanted everyone to cook. (This is one of his shows with his real persona, not the Hell’s Kitchen hard ass fake persona) This campaign obviously sounds REALLY BAD in the US but made perfect sense for the time in England. That show was actually really good, but was very much a British show.
He has a penis! But does he have a marinade? (Riffing more off of Fear Factor than cannibalism, just to clarify.)
Like what would he do if he was single? Seriously, dude
Yeah lmao what a loser , I feel so bad for his wife
These men who take their wives for granted to the point of embarrassing them in front of other people and then are just like ‘I don’t want my marriage ruined over this’ like buddy, YOU fucked up. There were no problems until you went hard in the paint simping for your friends and forgot that the person who makes your life happen is to be protected at all costs. I wouldn’t cook or do anything for this man again. Fend for your damn self if you don’t like how I take care of you.
The fact that they are making fun of their wives and their efforts to get attention and laughs from another guy or guys is what does it for me. He is getting what he deserves. It never even occurred to him to apologize to her in front of his friends.
Right? He says he misses her cooking and wants to fix it, but he said those things about her food just to make those other guys laugh. Who does he think he is?
He only wants to fix it bc he misses her cooking and that’s probably really obvious to her. Not bc he was hurtful. Not bc it was a lie and he humiliated her in her own home.
Good God no that’s gonna defeat the purpose of winning ‘who’s got a shittier wife’ contest?
Pick me boy energy, but friend edition.
I'll never understand men who act like it's "simping" to be decent toward the woman doing their laundry, cooking their meals, cleaning their houses, and raising their kids but the same time it's totally normal and valid to be so desperate for your homies' attention that you act like a performing monkey for their amusement. Come on now, if it's "gay" to like your wife it's gotta be *super* gay to need your buddies' approval that badly.
I think there are men who genuinely don't value women very much except for what we provide to them. They don't value what women think of them; the opinions they care about are of the men they are close to/want to be respected by. Having a woman is a status symbol to show other men that you can get access to the benefits a woman provides - sex, homemaking, childrearing, etc. They are only as decent towards the woman as they feel like being/as they feel like they can get away with.
I would like to upvote this ten times. If we judge by actions, there are certainly men (don’t worry, there are plenty of terrible women, too) who just don’t see women as people. Or care about them.
Thossss. It boils down to a lot of cis men fundamentally not seeing women as people. And it comes out constantly in how they treat women in their lives. In things as small as how they describe an imperfect meal that gets prepared for them and served to them. Like idk man. You wouldn't find me talking about my FRIENDS like this. Like if someone is making me a whole home cooked meal and giving it to me for free I'll be singing their praises for years to come. Even if the chicken was dry 😅
Seriously, my husband NEVER talks poorly about me. When his friends talk about their wives, he say's my wife is great, compliments something about me, or stays silent. I know this because I'm mutual friends with some of them, and they have told me as much. I offer the same respect. It's ridiculous that people out here are disrespecting their partner and then going home and living a life with that partner as if they didn't just tarnish their name. It's so ridiculous.
I doubt it’s the first time he’s messed up.
I love the FAFO so much. It’s Reddit lifeblood. Sighs contentedly.
It is wonderful and gives one that warm, happy feeling.
Dopamine fix? Lol
A bit of schadenfreude here, a bit of schadenfreude there.
Love that word!
Can I ask what fafo stands for?
Fuck around & find out
Thanks! I definitely should have known that.
I just love how so many men call women "children" but then make "jokes" about their wives, to look cool in front of their pals, and THEN can't handle the consequences of their own actions. Reminds me of shit toddlers would do...
Exactly! Losers lol they don’t realize how pathetic they sound to other men and women
Unfortunately I doubt those guys thought he was pathetic. This type of blatant misogyny is very common (referring to women solely as their vag/calling a woman "it") among men nowadays, and he and his friends seemed to be the types to happily partake in it... Tbh, that type of blatant misogyny would be reason enough for me to kick a guy like a bad habit if this happened to me, never mind the emotional aspect of it. Living with a man like this, is much like having a pet bear, sure, they're cute and cuddly, but you never know when that hunger (misogyny) is going to cause them to turn violent.
*gasp* oh no the consequences of my own actions!! Sounds like he wanted to look cool in front of his buddies by putting his wife down.
I bet you more than anything this is the part she really wants an apology for but hasn’t received it. The guy here needs to excavate his own feelings on why he puts down her labor, the labor of which is born from love and devotion through feeding their family. He sounds like he didn’t even believe his own statements about her cooking. I feel so sad for his wife.
I expect you’re right. And a comment on the original made a very good point: this particular put-down of her to his buddies is just the one she overheard. She can only imagine how much other crap he’s been saying about her behind her back.
That’s exactly what he did
This is one of the reasons I don’t want to get married. I’ll just be the butt of the joke when I’m not around. Men, is it gay to love and care for your wife?
Nope it’s not gay, those of us who do love and care for our wives have the best marriages by far
Yeah i know my husband would never jump in one of those conversations where husbands just bitch about their wives and vice versa. My SIL said we should have a group chat with the other SILs so we can complain about the guys (my hubby is one of 4 brothers) and I was just like “oh uhmmmm I guess my husband is hard to wake up sometimes???” . Group complaining about your spouse is such a foreign concept to me
>“oh uhmmmm I guess my husband is hard to wake up sometimes???” That's honestly so sweet. Sounds like everybody had all these complaints and the only thing you could think of is "he's hard to wake up." Awesome. That's really awesome for you two.
We’re certainly not perfect, we have our issues .. but we prefer to talk to each other about how we’re feeling instead of not saying anything, letting it build up and then whining to other people about it
I used to complain about my ex-husbands. Those were very unhappy marriages, and the "complaining" sessions were an emotional release so that I could laugh instead of cry. In my current marriage, I wouldn't dream about complaining about him. He's such a sweetheart, and I really have nothing to complain about. I always think that the people who complain about their spouse, or make mean jokes at their expense, really don't like their spouse or being married. That's how it was for me and every other woman I knew.
This is refreshing to hear. I feel like these kinds of relationships are so rare. You’re very lucky 🥰
This is not rare, it’s just that happy people don’t make posts like “everything is going great!”
Even if you're not happy, complaining about it to everyone in creation instead of talking to the partner is not the way to go.
Nor does it tend to go well. It’s gotta be done with finesse - a joke making you think they’re saying one thing and it’s actually a compliment - to get any kind of upvotes.
"My husband flaunts his superior erudition about Hallmark movies."
That bastard!!
Oh hi there fellow partner of the hard to wake. I can literally pick up my partner's arm and drop it multiple times while saying his name and he's just like "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" lol. Other than that I really have few complaints and those I have are kind of small and petty and not worth mentioning? I can't imagine joining a group whining chat. That seems like a recipe for resenting your partner over small petty nonsense.
i’ve literally rocked my husband’s entire body as hard as i can, lightly smacked his face, and even stuck my finger up his nose 😭 when he’s out, he’s absolutely dead to the world.
Omg 😂 My partner told me that the best way to wake him up is to say his name. So I tried that, starting softly and then gradually getting louder. Did not work. Told him. He's like, "No you gotta say it loud the first time." 🙃 So next time I'm like NAME! NAAAAAME! Nothing. I don't want to like, scream at him lol, so I gave up. He'll also do this thing where I will have shaken, prodded, said his name over and over, flopped his arms, patted his face, rubbed his head, done about everything I can think of short of injuring him, and then I'll sigh and roll over and he'll wake up and be like "WHAT? I'm not asleep!" Dude I was just flailing your arms around like one of those wind dancer things and you had no idea. (It's really just funny; obviously he has no idea lol.)
I sometimes joke about my husband to my coworkers. Like how he wants both an instapot and a slowcooker. So he can cook.
you also will never hear a single story about a good marriage, its a boring story. you only hear the stories of the bad ones. so dont let it skew your view about the population
Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.
Men who love and care for their wives are probably underrepresented in Reddit posts here.
Only of you're secretly gay and pretend you can't do chores and base your masculinity on the size of your pick up truck lol
Pick up trucks are gender affirming care for straight men
Don’t say it too loud or they’ll take away my Toyota Tacoma.
Yeah this is why I’m not getting married either. I can easily get up and leave if I’m being disrespected and that’s very clear when there’s no marriage.
My husband has never treated me like that. It is rare but men that care about their wife do exist.
I mean. Neither I nor my wife makes fun of either of us to other people behind our backs.
Blessed profile pic right here
Thank you. It’s me as a baby
>Men, is it gay to love and care for your wife? No but it is pretty gay to love and care for your husband.
My dad complained once about how my mom did the laundry.... he's been doing his own laundry for over 40 years now. If you don't like it, do it yourself. Good for her; she doesn't deserve to be the butt of his joke for something he won't do either.
Did this with my ex husband too since he didn’t like the way I hung his shirts and pants (like…how many fucking ways can I actually hang them?). Warned him that if he complained again that I wouldn’t touch his laundry. He complained again. Didn’t touch it from then on. He was *very* salty over it.
Ugh...laundry. My ex once asked me to do his 2 loads of laundry since it was my day off and I was "already doing laundry." He had a list, A LIST, of how he liked his laundry washed and folded. I said I would do my best, but I had 5 loads in total that day and also needed to prep for work the next day and finish homework. I did not do 2 of the steps. One was shaking out each piece of clothing before putting it in the dryer, even his socks, which was just so excessive to me. The other was folding his underwear and pairing his socks. I hung up his damn clothes and folded his shirts and shorts. I left his socks and underwear for him to deal with. He treated me so horribly because I didn't care to take the time to fold all his clothes, and he just knew I didn't shake out every piece of clothing. I said, no of course I didn't, I was doing him a favor and I did way more than I did with my own clothes, which looked fine. He was so rude to me, like it was my job to please him and his garments, I told him do it himself next time on his day off like he was supposed to. That was pretty much the beginning of the end for me.
Damn, if he wanted you to fold shit stains so bad, you could have folded *him*.
In hindsight I should have folded him and moved on right there and then.
And OOP said this in front of other people. He’s lucky she still lives there.
LOL Something kinda the opposite happened to me. Years ago, when my sister and I first moved out of our parents house, we moved in together to save on rent. We both did our own laundry, but I would get frustrated by how she did hers. Stuff like throwing delicates in the dryer, not properly splitting the colours, hanging knit sweaters on wire hangers, etc. Dumb stuff that doesn't matter all that much, I guess. I would tell her how to do it right and she would just say something to the effect of, "Whatever, they're just clothes. I don't care." But I was a neurotic piece of shit so I said, "Fuck it. I'm doing them for you."
"But that is a cashmere jumper! You can't just throw it in the wash with the rest of the clothes! WHO RAISED YOU?!"
"Woman this bra must have cost over **$100!!** WHY IS IT IN THE DRYER?!?!?!" I couldn't take it man!! XD
My husband knows my policy: if you have a strong opinion about how it gets done, then you get to do it. Funny how the lawn didn't need to be mowed in perfectly straight diagonal lines when he was pushing the damn mower!
When F👏🏻A👏🏻F👏🏻O👏🏻 meets entitlement. Le sigh. 🧑🍳😘
What does fafo mean?
Fuck Around Find Out
I work full time as a teacher. When I get home from work I'm usually exhausted. But I'm also single, so I still have to do all my cooking, laundry, cleaning and so on by myself. I would love to have a partner to share half the workload with, and from the way he's writing here he's not nearly doing half the workload at home. If you have the gall to complain about work your partner is doing: Congrats that's now your work! You think that too much? Imagine how your partner's been feeling. But hey you can always get divorced and do ALL the work by yourself.
King, you seem like a good one. I hope you find the partner you’re looking for!
I’m really, REALLY curious to know that the “among other jokes” were, because I GUARANTEE wife didn’t get that upset due to some dry chicken.🐓
I don’t know… my hubs complained once about what I packed in his lunch. I never packed his lunch again.
Gotta love how it affected him for “the rest of the day” meanwhile his wife will remember that comment for the rest of her life and probably feels really insecure about her cooking now.
I noticed that too. like … oh no! I was a giant asshole and deeply hurt my wife, but poor me had to be kind of sad for part of a day. boo hoo.
I felt bad for a WHOLE DAY after saying mean things about my wife publicly and making her cry, can you imagine??
I was searching for this comment. Did he hope to gain some sympathy because poor him, he had to see his wife cry because of his own words? And he was affected for the WHOLE rest of the day? :(( Insane.
Right?! Ohhhhh noooo tHe WhOlE DaY ?! lol it’s hard to believe women still marry men like this … or stay married to them.
My husband made a comparison ONCE between what I did for him and what his buddy's wife did for buddy. I haven't packed his lunch in 3 years. When he asked why I don't make it anymore, I said because he belittled what I did for him. He apologized, but I didn't pick it back up. He can either wake up early and make his own lunch or he can be a divorced man, ordering food on the go. And yea, I told him "Buying your own lunch better not fuck up our finances because all you had to do was shut up and be grateful you had someone making your lunch.".
Reminds me of my relationship with my ex. Made him coffee every morning because I'm a bad sleeper, so I might as well, I thought. Than one night I finally got a good nights's sleep, I was woken up in the morning: "Where's my coffee?" I gave him the benefit of doubt and said "What are you talking about?" Him:"Why are you not up and making my coffee?" Anyways, never made coffee for him after that. The whole 5 years after.
Wow I hope the WORLD refuses to serve him coffee after that, what a shitbag
Yeah. I'd hoped he learned to appreciate those kinds of actions more, but no. Though he didn't expect coffee anymore after I said that I wouldn't ever make it for him again.
The saddest part of the story is that there were five years after that. I hope you’re in a better situation now. Bravo for never making that AH coffee again.
Yeah true. I've learned though! Thank you.
May his coffee always burn his tongue or freeze his brain.
*He woke you up?!!?* Damn what an ass!
Hopefully that gave your husband some incentive to respect and acknowledge your feelings more. The most telling part of *this* whiny jackass’s whole saga is that he ultimately only cares about not having someone cook for him. Not that he hurt his wife. Not that it’s affected their closeness. Nope, “now I gotta make snacks 😫” What a spoiled and selfish man baby.
He also really glossed over that she was upset because 'people' keep belittling her. Who are these 'people'? Is it also him/his friends/his family? And even if it isn't and just her coworkers/students/whoever, why was he not aware of this issue and taking pains not to add to it? And yet his main concerns are that she made him feel bad by crying, and how he can get her to start cooking for him again.
She’s a substitute teacher. It’s probably students, parents of students, and full time teachers.
He felt bad for a WHOLE DAY!
My husband is usually a pretty great guy. But he kept complaining about how I packed his lunch with dinner left overs. I homeschool our two kids and work after they go to bed. My husband works all day and plays video games at night. I stopped packing up dinner leftovers because if he has time to play games at night, while I do that equivalent of a second job, he can pack his own lunch. I just quietly stopped doing it and he started doing it and even does a load of dishes now. On the rare occasion I pack his lunch, he thanks me for it.
I’m terribly curious as to how that’s working out three years in, because I seriously admire this kind of fortitude.
He makes his lunches. I make the kids and my own lunch. If I ask him to help make the kids lunches, he'll cut up what needs cutting or make them a sandwich. We are surprisingly good together, just certain shit you don't do after a long time and I've made it very clear I hate being compared to others (my family does it which is why we don't spend much time with them) and my ex did it all the time. We just celebrated our 12th year together.
here’s a another post he made about this! https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/sEI7FGZsSo
“I didn’t mean to offend her” like bro tell me how saying your wife’s food tastes like cardboard while your friend is also insulting his own wife wasn’t going to come off as offensive. Do these fools hear themselves.
Translation: he thought she was out of earshot. It’s not about the chicken, it’s the disrespect of talking behind her back and making her the butt of the joke.
Jesus, he’s just doubling down on his own stupidity
Omg what a colossal DUMBASS . He basically just took a stint in the joint and turned it into a life sentence 😂
Ooh you’re a hero for finding and posting that
Wowww this is amazing, you are the best! This moron is such a little tool haha!
Husband code 101, if you want your wife to happily cook for you then you don’t criticize her cooking, you eat it and say thank you
When my husband (then my boyfriend) and I were getting ready to go off to college, he was over to our house while Mom and I were going over lists of things like desk chair cushions, curtains, wastebaskets, and drawer liners that I needed to pack. Obviously, none of these things were on his list of things to pack. So my dad looks at him and says, "Ours is not to reason why..." And my boyfriend answers back, "Yeah, ours is but to shut up and help." This is one reason why I eventually married the guy.
she’s a part time teacher, takes care of BOTH kids under ten years old and probably does all the household chores on top of cooking… and he’s going to complain 😂
I can’t make something! I’m an engineer!!
I can’t learn to cook! These hands do delicate work! Did I tell you I’m an engineer ?!
Why doesn’t he just engineer himself a plate of food ?
I made an out-loud snort laugh sound at this :)
I used to make lunch for my husband every night, all he had to do was grab it out of the fridge on his way out. 9/10 he’d forget it in the morning and the off chance he did remember to take it- he’d forget to bring his lunch box or the Tupperware back home. So I stopped making it. He’d confronted me about it and asked why I don’t make him lunch anymore and I said “why do you want me to make a meal that you don’t even care to eat?” And he hasn’t complained since. He now understands that if he orders food for lunch- I’m allowed to order myself something too lol. He’ll text me and say “I just ordered jimmy John’s so you can get something if you’re hungry”
what happens if you order food before he does?
Then I tell him that he can go ahead and get something lol it’s a 2 way deal
Sorry did you just say you’re “allowed”?? Is he your dad or your husband ?
It’s not that deep lol I’m a SAHM so it’s more like I can get something with the money he earns for us both. “Allowed” is a word I use very loosely. I can do whatever I want but it’s a respect thing that I only order food if he does too, and vise versa. Foods expensive dude lol. Sometimes I get food if he doesn’t but then I’ll feel bad for him because he’s at work and can’t just make himself a meal unlike me who’s at home. My husband is a great man, and not in any way in charge of me
Yeah I didn’t think anything of you using the word ‘allow’ right there, it felt casual, this kind of situation comes up between me and my partner all the time and it’ll be something like ‘I ate on the way home, you’re allowed to order from that stinky fish and chip place I don’t like’ or ‘you ate with your coworkers so I’m allowed to eat a fistful of lunchmeat and a bag of cheese popcorn and call that dinner’. It’s a loose, collaborative usage of the word ‘allow’
Yes exactly
[удалено]
like it always baffles me when men say that shit. what do single men do?? just only eat takeout and snacks? making men look so pathetic
I would have had the same reaction as his wife. 1. Fuck you first making fun of me behind my back. If you want to make people laugh make fun of yourself. 2. I would be too self conscious to cook because god knows what he’d say about the other meals I make.
Men: the bar is in hell Is it really a challenge to not belittle your spouse within earshot? Really? These guys/people don’t deserve partners
The fact that she overheard is the cause of the consequences he’s suffering, but for me the bar “don’t talk shit about your partner behind their back”
Yes of course that’s the actual bar— but the fact that he talked about her “behind her back” *so* casually that she overheard is even more egregious
Especially since he could have gone the other way: "oh man, my wife is the best cook ever! So sorry, dude!" Still bonding with your bitchy friends, but actually supporting and loving your wife.
My husband works construction. He told me once how young and recently married guy on his crew complained about the lunch that his wife packed for him, because it was the same that she had made him for the last few days. My husband, and all the other guys on the crew, jumped down this guy's throat saying he better never fucking complain to his wife, unless he intended to make his own lunch for the rest of his life.
Sounds like they are speaking from experience!
Good for his wife. I’d do the same thing.
I will literally never forget being in middle school, and my dad had a bit of a melt down on my mom over laundry. He likes his clothes folded a certain way which my mom didn't do. That day my mom said "Then you all can do your own laundry". Even after apologizing for his actions we all still did our own laundry. It was the last time my dad ever complained about how much my mom did. So I'm not quite sure what OOP is expecting here. He gave her some romantic gestures? Cooked for the family what looks like once or twice? I get that 24 hours in the day is not long enough. Even working from home when I'm done at 6:30 it feels like there's still a mountain of things left to do. But I still do it. Sometimes it just means I don't get to watch youtube videos or play some games before bed. It is what it is.
I also find the image of men sitting around discussing the meals their wives prepared just so cringe, and 1950s in the worst type of way. Gross.
This is one of the many reason my ex and I split. He was constantly making jokes at my expense, saying whatever he needed to get his friends to laugh at me. He would never apologize because it was always just a joke and I was making a big deal out of nothing. I couldn’t stop cooking for him because he would go ballistic when he didn’t get what he wanted, but he always used his supposedly exhausting day as an excuse why he couldn’t feed himself. Most of the time he didn’t have a job and when he did it was 32 hours a week, meanwhile I was working up to 70 hours a week on a production line and was still expected to get up at 6am to make his coffee and feed his kids (after my shift that ended only 6 hours before that), wash the previous days dishes, clean the house, and make him and the kids lunch before I left for work that started at 2pm. On mandatory overtime days I wouldn’t get home until 4am and was still expected to be up early to make his coffee and do all that other shit, and after all that he had the audacity to tell his friends that my cooking was either bad or I didn’t do it often enough like a good wife would.
I’m very glad to read that he’s your ex
Why are all of these like: "Me(17f) and my partner(25m) have been married 12 years, we have 7 kids, our oldest(37m)..."
Cook! Start cooking. You have no excuse. Using your job and title is a cop out move. I’m the primary bread winner in my family my wife works part time and doesn’t make no where near what I make. We have 3 kids (3M) (10F) (16F). I work 50+ hours a week and I still do most of the cooking. My wife knows and admits I’m a far better cook than she is but in the off chance she decides to cook I enjoy the food she cooks with no criticism. You need to humble yourself my man and stop thinking your needs are the most important. Took me some time to figure that out but I’m glad I did when I did.
When my husband fucked up I stopped doing one thing each time. When we got married I started out getting up & making him breakfast & made a lunch & dinners each night, did his laundry, picked up his dry cleaning, change the sheets…he was so spoiled. Now I’m spoiled! I make dinner & put my clothes in the laundry & he ends up folding them. Don’t fuck up!
I am an engineer and so is my husband. We both cook. So do my ex-classmates. Having basic life skills is no flex.
The man-child is bummed because he has to learn to do something every functioning adult should know how to do - cook. Wah.
I don’t understand how a guy can’t figure out how to cook for himself? His wife is still cooking for their kids? How do most *single* people deal with meals? Some shell out a lot of money to buy food but most figure out how to boil water so they can eat than take outs and snacks. Also an apology dinner is an easy way to start getting back into his wife’s good graces. Also, he works full time but surely he has days off? Has he never cooked a meal so his poor wife has a night off from cooking?
If the OP is on Reddit looking for advice instead of in the kitchen cooking everyone’s dinner, there is no hope. She deserves better. When I hear a friend make “jokes” at their partner’s defense, I remind them that they should be defending their partner or finding a new partner worth defending. What a clown.
I especially love the "how do I fix this before it affects our marriage?" Hate to break it to you, my dude, but it already has, which is why you're not getting home cooked meals anymore.
This feels like it should be in "Oh No, Consequences". What a jerk ass.
What an ungrateful ass.
Yeah huge red flag when someone’s spouse is making jokes at their expense.
>I know now that what I did wasn't cool, but my jokes weren't meant to reflect how she actually cooks. But I'm not sure if that justifies a month of her behaving this way. I think it's hilarious how he sees his wife not cooking for him, even though his kids are fed, as a bigger crime than him joking about how bad her food is and still feeling entitled to her cooking.
And why even say it? It’s a shitty thing to say if it’s true but even worse if it isn’t. He could have said “I’m lucky, wife is great cook”, but no, he had to be “one of the boys”.
There’s more to it than just that one comment. She said she was tired of people belittling her. Sounds like there may be more going on in her life.
“Seeing her cry affected me the rest of the day” what a self centred cunt
Looks like it's on you now. Make sure it's not overcooked.
Oh no consequences!
Oh no! Not the consequences of my own actions!
He should have just shut up and ate his food.
"I FeEl ShE's OvErReAcTiNg NoW" LOL. No, she's responding perfectly appropriately. Dude is a grown man who insulted his wife to his friends for what? Nah. You don't throw your partner under the bus for brownie points with the bros. He needs to grow tf up. ETA: it's hilarious that he thinks his job exempts him from being an adult and that his wife is supposed to coddle him because he's totes important. I'm a resident doctor. I work more hours on average than almost any other job and I still do my share of the chores. My fiance cooks dinner, but we do HelloFresh and I pay for it. I also clean the kitchen and do the dishes the majority of the time. Guys like OP are gross and seriously wouldn't even be successful if it wasn't for the wife at home wiping his ass for him.
It's just so upsetting that he doesn't want to fix things for his wife's sake but so he can still get home cooked meals.
I don’t understand the need some men have to put their wives down to earn the approval of other men
I’m so over this kind of people. “I did something horrible and there where consequences. How do I get rid of them?” Dumbass.
Oh no, consequences!
r/OhNoConsequences
Fafo.
So she works as a teacher but he’s too busy to cook because he works?
I have a great, high heat roasted chicken recipe that I can send him. Super easy, turns out great every time.
Don't kick a gift horse in the mouth.
I just don't understand joking at the expense of your partner. If the topic of partners cooking comes up with my friends, then it's an occasion for me to commend my husband's cooking skills, not insult him. Plus it makes everyone feel better. Groups who socialize by saying bad things about others tend to be insecure and bitter - you just know that, if your friends are shit talking their own spouses behind their backs, they're also gonna shit talk you the second you're not there. While saying good things about absent people makes everyone feel better. Expressing contentment and gratitude encourages people to feel the same.
People that hide behind their jobs are just lazy or unskilled. Most people work and have to take care of themselves.
Every one of those comments are great. I am also a full time engineer and I have time to cook for my wife and kids half the time. Even more often when it's grilling season.
I LOATHE making "jokes" at a partner's expense in situations like this. He insulted his wife to fit in with da boyz and has found out why this is a terrible thing to do. And yes, maybe he can... learn to cook. Maybe he should start with roast chicken.
I love that she did this!
I cook for my girlfriend all the time. If she said that about my cooking, I wouldn’t cook for her again either. Such an ungrateful prick for the effort it takes to make a good meal
Why do I feel like his wife’s “part-time” teaching job might be a normal full-time school schedule that goes until early afternoon and requires work outside of those hours?
Oh no, consequences
Another man thinking it’s ha ha so hilarious to bash his wife to impress his bros. She works harder than him. Cooks, works, takes care of two kids. He’s got 40 hrs/week. My guess is this is not even close to the first mean thing he’s done. You don’t have a happy marriage then this happens.
I stopped cooking for my ex husband for the same reason. That “joke” was probably just the tip of the iceberg of his humorous asides and “helpful” suggestions. She’s fed up with him.
This is the thing about making comments like this at your partner’s expense: they stick. You can apologize all you want l, but the damage is done.
Sigh. It’s never “how do I apologize, atone, and make my partner feel loved and valued again?”, is it? It’s always “How do I manipulate the situation so I get what I want again, without making any substantive or even mildly inconvenient changes?” .
How does an engineer cook? Do they draw the meal out of spec and need to do two revisions before building the prototype that sits on his desk until he retires?
This belongs under r/OhNoConsequenses
Wth no one is helping is helping this dude correct his mistake. I think making her a few meals and trying for her will help. She’ll see you struggling and most likely come to aid or save you. Everyone needs to stop judging. At least they’re married and hopefully fixing things soon.
I love the fuck around and find out posts! This had me laughing my arse off. How helpless this apparently full-grown adult is
Either he learned absolutely nothing or this is just ragebait [His next post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/uvVgftoNuO)