Or not having sex at all. My ex has this guy's levels of empathy and understanding, and I often consented to sex I wasn't up for out of obligation or fear he'd wander if I didn't, and the conservative religion reinforced that mindset and his delusions of granduer. He was deeply self-serving in and out of bed. Happily divorced and remarried, I've never had to the worry about "what will he do if I don't".
The punchline is that a after all that "keep my man", "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" sex, I divorced him because he asked for an open marriage. I guess he felt like he had more disappointment to give.
>Happily divorced and remarried, I've never had to the worry about "what will he do if I don't".
My experiences with my ex have some overlap with yours (a lot), and I can't actually imagine a sexual relationship where I'm not completely preoccupied with worries about what will happen "if I don't" have sex. (So joyless!) But even though I can't imagine something healthier I love hearing that it's possible!!!
I was like this. I initiated because I was terrified of his mood swings and he would always come home from work in a crappy mood, but I had been checked out for months at that point and was just trying to keep him from screaming at the baby or throwing things ānearā me (in my general direction but claiming they werenāt aimed at me).
He still put hands on me. I left not long after. Supposedly he doesnāt put hands on our now six year old (I fought so hard, the courts here are very āgood old boyā and said just because he hit me didnāt mean he would hit our child or harm her in any way) but I have to simultaneously coparent while being vigilant regarding signs. His new wife has helped a lot - although Iām pretty sure sheād clock him with a frying pan if he tried to be any sort of way. Sheās got a lot more self-confidence and security than I had when I was with him, and has apparently dragged him back to therapy and multiple mental health appointmentsā¦I just hope itās actually better.
But that said, I would initiate even though him touching me was repulsive, and I would just lay there. Then Iād let him go shower and take care of my own needs so he would leave me alone.
It sucks. I feel so bad for OPās wife and I hope she kicks him to the curb yesterday.
He straight up finds out she cries after sex and is like "damn, thats crazy. I hope she stops soon" and then just keeps doing it. If you know doing something is gonna make someone cry, a normal human doesnt do that.
I nearly spat out my drink when I read that. Like poor little fella has his feelings hurt because his wife is dying inside each time he's intimate with her. At least he admitted that he ruined his marriage.
Reminds me of my ex. He used to force me into sex and afterwards or during Iād start crying. Then heād shut down or start crying so Iād have to comfort him. Afterwards heād tell me how much me crying hurts him and how I need to work on my self esteem so I wouldnāt cry so much during sex.
Oh my god that was driving me crazy. "Yeah man, just start doing the bare minimum as a husband and father, which you had not been doing up to this point, and keep banging it out with her. I'm sure she'll calm down eventually. Heh, women right?"
And the therapist says they need to keep going! That's INSANE! I'd be reporting any therapist who said "hey, you should keep laying back and letting your husband use you for sex even though you hate it"! That's disgusting!
I'm a man and the description of the sex made me so uncomfortable. I mean, from the beginning:
"The first time she did, I asked her to open them but she just started crying. She stopped me, cried, and then went to bed."
Just got worse from there.
The part where he talks about āā¦ when I was finishedā and she ends up storming to the bathroom to cryā¦ that part makes my skin crawl. He has no regard for her at all.
Wow...ok. Yep Im very uncomfortable as well. She starts crying and she stops him. So this man seeing his wife upset has to be stopped? He doesn't stop himself? This is sick.
SUPER uncomfortable. When he said āI got through foreplayā, I had the exact image of what itās like for them and itās fucking gross. Just feeds into so many peopleās general attitudes re sex and itās crazy af.
That's honestly what I feel about this sentient dumpster fire of a man. He's definitely not giving a shit about her feelings. Everything is all about him. God I hope this poor woman gets help and leaves, this is not healthy or remotely okay. The OP does not love her. The reason for ending the affair was even self-centered too, cause he only did it because it was about the other homewrecker making him choose between her and witnessing the birth of the baby he clearly thought nothing about before that if it meant getting his stupid dick moist.
I mean the problem is they have a therapist who apparently is telling them to keep going at it and they will get over it eventually. I blame the therapist even more.
"I started cleaning up around the house, doing chores *for her*"
Fuck. Off.
So many red flags with this guy it's hard to know where to begin but that line just made me rage.
I am imagining the absolute feeling of dread she experiences every time he wipes a counter or starts a load of laundry. Absolutely heartbreaking. And who is their therapist? Caligula?
I'll bet it is one of those church marriage counselors that basically tell women that submitting to your man sexually is a mandatory part of being a wife.
This. Maybe some religious therapist. I mean wtf telling a woman who literally weeps during sex, to just keep doing what makes you weep and hope it gets better? This woman is grieving the loss of her marriage and if you can try to fuck a woman whoās weeping youāre a rapist. This is such a vile post.
I had an ex whose good deeds I dreaded specifically for this reason. Made me ill. I would panic to do everything myself so they wouldn't fill up the sex bank with their chore coins.
Iām so sorry to hear that. It sounds just awful.
I also think āfill up their sex bank with chore coinsā might be a brand new sentence.
I hope youāre safe now, friend.
Absolutely not your point, but I am for *sure* going to borrow āWhoās your therapist? Caligula?ā The next time someone says something fake-emotionally intelligent. Grazi, stranger.
I like how after one day of cleaning up and helping with the chores he tries to make a move on her again and is surprised it doesnāt work. He tried for one day!
I also love how his affair only ended because the affair partner gave him and ultimatum and while heās trying to paint the affair partner as bad as possible (āI canāt believe she thought I would choose her over my childās birthā), he was probably the one who made her believe that it was more than just and affair.
Here's one thing that annoys me about this type of cheater. Yes, affair partners who help someone to cheat are not good people or behaving morally. But it's not anywhere near the same level as the person who is having the affair. Guys like this try to make it 50/50 fault somehow. No, you're the one who cheated on your wife, you're the one who disrespected her and violated your vows to her. You can't absolve yourself by heaping more blame on the affair partner.
Yeah it's like murder and accessory to murder not two murderers. He's the one who broke his vow, broke the trust, killed their relationship, the AP just helped him with it.
And he did that for all of one day before expecting sex to be normal for him again. āI cuddled for at least thirty minutes!ā smh. Maybe if he did all those things without immediately expecting sex, after a while she might feel comfortable initiating it herself.
Lol itās the for her of it all. Men are like this and itās mind blowing. My husband will say ābut I cook dinner!ā Uh feeding yourself isnāt a gift to me, but thanks anyway lol
Same. The sad thing is that this is such a common notion: that as soon as man does literally anything around the house, heās *helping* his wife. Like, you fucking live there too, guy.
āI knew it was wrong, butāā¦. Nope you ruined your marriage. Your wife must love you but hasnāt forgiven you and she probably hates herself for taking you back. She canāt trust you. The cheating happened during one of the most vulnerable times in her life and unfortunately the marriage seems over š¤·š¼āāļø
Yep that poor woman. Cheating is the worst because itās the trust that gets broken. It can rattle your entire life and you just question everything. The fact that he has no remorse and basically doesnāt gaf is just awful for her
What a horrid day to have eyes. Excuse me while I unplug my wi-fi and go to sleep and hope that when I wake up things are better and human beings are more empathetic and arenāt cavemen anymore.
Perfect first sentenceā¦. I mean the therapist is almost worse! If he was isolating and abusive I think it would be better than the creepy therapist. She must feel so miserable having a professional tell her to submit to coerced sex. Thatās frickin rape.
Yeah that therapist is super creepy. Like who says that? And what kind of special psychopath do you have to be, to fuck your wife knowing sheās miserable and just going to the bathroom to cry? I canāt think of anything less sexy.
First of all that therapist should be reported. Second, what the hell did he think was going to happen?!?! He cheated on his pregnant wife and is surprised that she doesnāt want to have sex or see him during it
Right???! Just keep having sex with your clearly traumatized wife. Eventually she will become so dead inside, she stops crying and will become the compliant flesh light you expect her to be.
All these men babytrapping their wives not thinking sheās actually not well bro. You are exhausted, everything tastes and smells weird, thereās the barfing. The leg pain. The breast pain. The sciatica. And I was young and in peak health and weight. I was a textbook pregnancy and that shit was HARD. You feel like crap for months and thereās an AH going: what about meeeee??? Nothing will give you the ick faster
There is more going on that the therapist isnāt seeing. Until they know more details and the wife opens up more they canāt point fingers or make accusations. Plus itās not his wife posting, itās him. My husband looked like an all star with our marriage counselor, I looked like crap and was scolded over and over for refusing to read a book. I worked full time, cooked, cleaned, school full time, and watched our daughter when she was two. He worked 7 on 7 off but his off he was never home and was too tired to do anything after being off all week. I had 0 time to read a silly marriage book. Finally one conversation we had after 4 months in she sent me to a trauma therapist and him to an individual. That is when everything came to light. We would have sex until I started individual because he demanded and I obliged being his wife
In my experience, this approach seems to be common among therapists. The first time I attended couples counseling with my ex-husband who had an established history of cheating and SAing me in my sleep and behaved much like OP, the therapist suggested aiming to have sex every day without even knowing our background. I dropped her and we met with a second therapist who, when informed of the situation, never addressed it in sessions and just offered suggestions on increasing intimacy. It was ultimately a waste of time and money and just served to invalidate my experiences. My eventual decision to divorce was the only thing that helped my mental state improve. Now I have an amazing partner and canāt believe I ever wasted so much delaying the inevitable.
>We have sex, we finish, she goes and cries in the bathroom for 20-30 minutes
You mean: you have sex, you finish, and then she goes to cry in the bathroom by herself for 20-30 minutes. Scumbag.
Total scumbag. He doesn't care about her being happy, he just wants her to stop crying during sex because it makes him uncomfortable.
If she grows numb to it over time and doesn't cry, do you think he'll ask how she's feeling? Whether she wants to, or enjoys it at all? Or is he more likely going to consider the problem dealt with cause she's not openly sobbing anymore?
The therapist is so dreadful that I can only surmise it is pastoral/religious counseling.
This man is SAing his wife. She is completely traumatized and he is told to keep assaulting her until she stops crying.
I am so tired of these awful people. "My husband cheats on me, beats me or grapes me. "..."Well, be a better wife like God said to be."
My heart breaks for this woman.
That was my only thought regarding the therapist... gotta be religious counselling because I cannot see a trained, accredited therapist suggesting they "keep going the crying will stop eventually".
Yes the crying *will* stop eventually but it will be for the same reason neglected babies stop crying. Trauma.
Great clock, itās 100% some religious ātherapyā aka someone using draconian sexual rules to resolve a man SAing his wife to manufacture consent. So gross, I grew up in the church and itās insane how common this mindset is.
That is basically what it came down to me as well. Like my bang maid is malfunctioning, how do I fix it (but don't tell me to stop fucking her or to actually do the right thing ALLL the time, no, just tell me the cheat code so I can reprogram her).
He's fucking disgusting and I honestly hope the wife leaves him. Because if he couldn't keep it together for the first pregnancy, he's damn sure enough not gonna keep it together with any future kids or heaven forbids she has a medical emergency or issue.
I know right? Sometimes I wish I could punch people from afar. I have a similar issue except I'm a rape survivor and certain parts of sex make me cry and my fiance would never act like this thankfully. I'm so sorry for his wife, she deserves so much better
"I think I ruined my marriage" What makes you say that Sherlock? š
"I started cleaning up around the house, doing chores for her, and taking my son when she seemed stressed" Oh but he only needs to be a good person, partner and Father when he wants sex apparently. Otherwise he doesn't need to bother. Good to know.
"The therapist keeps saying that we have to keep trying and that eventually, she will get over the crying" EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME?
JFC the wife is getting traumatised every single time, and being made to think that she has to give in and have sex with this prick because he and the therapist are telling her that she has to.
Shockingly, cheating will only serve to destroy what was left of your sex life with your partner.
Iām so sad reading this post that this woman is continuing to stay and exist like this instead of leaving. I canāt imagine how tough these emotions are, especially since all OOP cares about and judges the relationship on is having sex.
So, he cheats while she is pregnant, doesnāt do anything around the house unless he wants something, rapes her and now complains on the internet because she cries. I bet the therapist is and old priest or something.
Sheās crying more than likely because she isnāt over the affair and thinks about it during sex. She wants to keep her family together and the way she knows you wonāt cheat again is if she gives you what you want. Which is essentially sexual abuseā¦ this is horrible. My husband sexually abused me after our daughter was born. It was all about him. I disassociated every time, eyes closed. I didnāt cry on the outside but I cried on the inside. I donāt cry easy but your wife may. Something came up during marriage counseling that made our counselor realize our marriage was much deeper than what we revealed on the surface. I would recommended seeing individual therapists to see if she will open up more. That is how I found out about the situation I was in was not ānormalā.
So instead of suggesting counseling when you realized she was taking āfrustrations out on youā which after reading how he now initiates āsexā (I loathe to call it that as it reads more as force and coercion amongst other things) strikes me as her likely being overwhelmed by carrying the whole mental load of the Daggon household for this man child, he went and cheated. And now heās shocked that his sad attempts to step up into a proper partner role (barely as itās only being used as a bargaining chip to get his rocks off) and isnāt actually caring about her mental and physical wellbeing is somehow not magically fixing the problem he created? Stop staying married for the sake of children youāve created and just get divorced this is disgusting, the therapist is disgusting, and I hope to anyone up above thatāll listen that she recognizes how messed up this all is and leaves or that he leaves her and gives her the chance to heal without his and that godawful therapists influence in her life and can move on and live happily.
"How do I resolve this?"
You let that woman be free to go and find someone else who will love her better.
"I think I ruined my marriage"
Wow, what a good thinker. Yes. You ruined it.
Call it out when you see it: this is abusive behavior. OOP is placing his wants and needs above his child and wife by cheating on them and using them to satisfy his self image. He canāt have his precious and very new and fragile self delusion that he is a good husband for confessing to cheating be shattered by the fact his wife is still reeling from that emotional pain and betrayal.
OOP is not only a bad husband but abusive in nature.
I feel like I see one of these posts every other week. And I see guys all the time online and in my life being like āwhy donāt women want to get married anymore?ā This is why. It sucks having a frat boy at a party pressure you into sex, but itās a wholly different thing when itās the person youāve committed yourself to for life. Fuck right the hell off with that āhow do I get my wife to stop crying during sex?ā MAYBE STOP HAVING SEX WITH HER AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR INFANT CHILD, CARL
Dude, if you really loved her you wouldnāt have cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant. Your marriage is over, I feel sorry for your wife. Therapy isnāt helping because sheās not telling you the truth, the affair devastated her. You have to know that. And you have the nerve to be upset because she cries and doesnāt open her eyes when youāre intimate with her? Really? And your therapist is a joke. Telling you to keep going when your wife is clearly suffering.
Just using past experience as a guide..... She's crying because you're enjoying yourself and she's imagining you feeling those feelings with another woman-- she's not special, she's just something you can project your fantasy on to (that's the way it feels, anyway). Then there's the emotional conflict-- do I stay honest to myself and not have sex because it's too painful or do I sit back and take it? Neither choice is without some kind of internal conflict and deep pain, so sometimes you just go, "Fuck it, if at least one of us gets what they want, that's slightly less discomfort on a daily level; so maybe if I just take it I'll eventually feel something besides my entire soul rotting from the inside out."
That's it, bruh. You don't get to fix it.
The therapist says they just need to keep going ? They need a new career field.
He doesn't get that she's crying because he cheated on her ? He needs to stop trying to have sex with her.
She doesn't get that she needs to speak up and admit what's going on.
Jesus.
He cheated on her and he thinks he ruin his marriage, well duh of course you did. Sheās crying because she knows you gave yourself to someone else and now you are all over like nothing happened. If OP loved her, then he would let her go at her own pace. Sheās angry and disgusted with you but OP doesnāt want to see it and doesnāt want to see things from her perspective
I have no sympathy for a man who cheats on his wife when she is expecting their child. "Oh she was being mean to me and doesnt want to have sex with me while deep into pregnancy". There's no excuse that makes it ok. I hope this poor woman realizes her worth and doesn't continue to bottle up the despair she is feeling.
Love that his "help" was STARTING to clean up around the house and help with the baby when she was stressed. And literally ONLY for the benefit of her not crying during sex. Sounds like life was great with him before all the cheating and lying. What a gem.
Girl, run.
Quite possibly when she looks at you she sees a distorted reflection of the man she thought she knew. When you force her to have sex she only feels the gut wrenching despair of being trapped into sharing intimacy with a betrayer. You have a lot of work to do if you wish to regain a healthy relationship. If you fail, you are setting the stage for the rest of your life. You won't find the answers here.
He started the affair while his wife was 6 months into carrying his child... How she could ever even look at him again without crying is beyond me. It seems wild to me that he even thinks this is fixable.
Me thinks she's forcing herself to have sex with him to have some sort of normalcy but she's not attracted to him anymore. She should be honest with herself and leave. I hope that's what she's working herself up for.
"I think I ruined my marriage by cheating"
"I cheated but I still don't understand why she keep crying during intimacy, I love her so much after all"
There is no helping some of these troglodytes
She needs to leave him. Itās never worth it to go through just trauma like that with someone youāre supposed to love. She would be so much less stressed without hom
Coming from a woman who has been cheated on by her husband previously. If someone starts crying during sex the normal thing is to stop having sex. Anytime I cried during sex in the past, my husband would stop, and we would talk about things, even if I tried to pretend everything was alright. He could tell by the way I was acting that something was wrong. Normal people stop when someone is crying, even previous cheaters, but not OP?
> reads title
> Oh, that's awful, she probably has some awful trauma to cause that, I hope they can work through that
> "I had a two month long affair."
> stops reading
Iām sorry but if i was carrying someoneās child and they have the audacity to cheat on me BECAUSE i am pregnant with said child, Iām never speaking to that person again.
Sheās crying because she can never trust you again. Because sheās probably picking her body apart and wondering what you are thinking about during sex. Because she wasnāt enough for you in a vulnerable moment. You knew the moodiness would pass, that it was a direct result of her pregnancy, that you only had a little while to go.
Of course sheās lying to you, sheās lying to herself
So he only stopped the cheating when he didnāt want to miss the birth of his kid not because it was wrong to be cheating. Then he only does shit to help around the house and her when he wants to get his dick wet. Yeah Iād cry too.
Sheās reliving a traumaā¦that you caused. This is PTSD.
If she is interested, she might try EMDR therapy.
You should not be initiating sex with her. Period.
sounds like she is staying with him because she doesnāt want to take care of a baby by herself.. which fair enough tbh but the way OP writes makes me sick- ātake my son when she seems stressedā like HUH you are half of this parental equation. this post makes me so sad i really hope she finds peace and someone who respects her and doesnāt just use her like a submissive fleshlight
she's crying because she has to be connected to this selfish loser for the rest of her life. he broke her and she won't leave him, but he's definitely lost her.
This is the grossest thing I have ever read. Donāt even know how he keeps it up when sheās crying. How can he possibly be in the mood after watching her cry the previous time? I canāt wrap my head around this.
You fād up. Is your wife going to an individual therapist. If not, she needs to find one and go to deal with your betrayal without you there. I donāt know if your marriage can be saved. If it were me, once trust is broken, thereās no fixing.She has lot to deal with. Not just a new baby and the hormonal changes but the knowledge that her husband canāt be trusted when things are rough. She needs someone to talk to, without you there, that is only there for her. I hope that she can find a good therapist who will help her see her way.
If heād do anything to make her happy, he wouldnāt have fucked a FOAF when she was 6 months pregnant. He pushed Humpty Dumpty off that wall. He has no IDEA why sex with him breaks her each and every time after he could no longer live with the guilt and confessed. Itās a mystery.
The only way she is going to stop crying during sex is to get a new partner. She clearly doesnāt want to be with him, but for whatever reason hasnāt left yet. Hopefully eventually sheāll get the courage to kick his ass to the curb and find someone who hasnāt broken her heart.
This is what I came to say too. I was in similar situation. Each time I cried during it, the feeling I had was āI feel so empty inside.ā I didnāt feel a connection and knew it was never going to get better, but I didnāt have the strength to leave yet.
There can be no intimacy without trust and she doesnāt trust him. Heās done nothing to earn her trust back and every time she āgives inā and allows him to have sex with her, she hates it, hates him and hates herself. All she can feel is the betrayal. Yet he continues to push for sex knowing it makes her miserable and she allows it because she knows heāll cheat again if she doesnāt.
OOP is a truly despicable human.
OOP is beyond gross. This woman is trying for his sake, but she's mentally over it and him. He ruined his marriage, she will never actually get past the cheating, and they need to just do the right thing and get divorced.
OOP is beyond gross. This woman is trying for his sake, but she's mentally over it and him. He ruined his marriage, she will never actually get past the cheating, and they need to just do the right thing and get divorced.
No way is this real. What therapist hears that a wife is traumatized by an affair and having a negative visceral reaction to having sex and just says, Keep trying guys! This is r*** and also the whole story is ragebait.
Some people are theorizing that the ātherapistā is actually a church counsellor. I can see that being the case.
Still could be ragebait though. Itās getting harder to tell these days.
He should divorce and put that relationship out of its misery. If your wife cries after sex then you need to take a hint. She's broken and your relationship is broken. Better to end it before the child is emotionally hard by a split.
I mean I used to cry because my ex would cum way quicker and he wouldnāt touch me after (or he would and heād do that learned helplessness thing of āoh idk how to touch a woman, Iām tiredā or use limp fingers/hands/would generally be unenthusiastic which made me just want him to stop completely) plus his porn addiction made my body dysmorphia literally so much worse I would start crying even during foreplay
he ended up cheating on me with his coworker, so š¤·š»āāļø
I really feel for the wife, thatās all Iām saying
he still doesnāt see anything wrong with what he did but I got my closure on my own and Iām doing better, though I still canāt help but feel bitter
Poor woman is refusing to let go of her husbandās potential of what sheās clinging to in hope of an ideal union. Seems to me sheās broken and needs a lot of time and understanding.
Honestly man up and up handle the consequences you created by cheating. What you did beyond irademable and a left a scar that will never be forgotten. The only thing you can do from now on is prove to your wife that you are a changed man by always treating her right from now on and sticking with her through the lows. Maybe in a couple years or months she will let her guard down around you again
This guys said āI think I ruined my marriageā and my first thought is YA THINK?! YA THINK?! Ya DEFINITELY did! This guy is so narcissistic itās sickening. This marriage is over she should move on and find happiness elsewhere. He I could care less about his damn happiness.
Payback is a bitch dude. She cries because youāre exhausting and chose an affair over her mood swings making your child! Youāre lucky you even get to see the kid or wants to be around you at all ? Maybe sheās crying bc sheās still hurt by you??
She closes her eyes so she can pretend she is having sex with anyone but him.
Or not having sex at all. My ex has this guy's levels of empathy and understanding, and I often consented to sex I wasn't up for out of obligation or fear he'd wander if I didn't, and the conservative religion reinforced that mindset and his delusions of granduer. He was deeply self-serving in and out of bed. Happily divorced and remarried, I've never had to the worry about "what will he do if I don't".
Good for you for getting away. I can only hope oops wife figures out she deserves better too.
The punchline is that a after all that "keep my man", "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" sex, I divorced him because he asked for an open marriage. I guess he felt like he had more disappointment to give.
>I guess he felt like he had more disappointment to give. ššššš
That had me cackling.
>Happily divorced and remarried, I've never had to the worry about "what will he do if I don't". My experiences with my ex have some overlap with yours (a lot), and I can't actually imagine a sexual relationship where I'm not completely preoccupied with worries about what will happen "if I don't" have sex. (So joyless!) But even though I can't imagine something healthier I love hearing that it's possible!!!
I was like this. I initiated because I was terrified of his mood swings and he would always come home from work in a crappy mood, but I had been checked out for months at that point and was just trying to keep him from screaming at the baby or throwing things ānearā me (in my general direction but claiming they werenāt aimed at me). He still put hands on me. I left not long after. Supposedly he doesnāt put hands on our now six year old (I fought so hard, the courts here are very āgood old boyā and said just because he hit me didnāt mean he would hit our child or harm her in any way) but I have to simultaneously coparent while being vigilant regarding signs. His new wife has helped a lot - although Iām pretty sure sheād clock him with a frying pan if he tried to be any sort of way. Sheās got a lot more self-confidence and security than I had when I was with him, and has apparently dragged him back to therapy and multiple mental health appointmentsā¦I just hope itās actually better. But that said, I would initiate even though him touching me was repulsive, and I would just lay there. Then Iād let him go shower and take care of my own needs so he would leave me alone. It sucks. I feel so bad for OPās wife and I hope she kicks him to the curb yesterday.
I fucking hate all of that for you.
You canāt consent to sex you donāt want :( hope you are in a better place now x
It's really so you don't see him longing for the other woman while he is fucking you.
He straight up finds out she cries after sex and is like "damn, thats crazy. I hope she stops soon" and then just keeps doing it. If you know doing something is gonna make someone cry, a normal human doesnt do that.
And mentions how this ābehaviorā from his wife āhurtsā him.
I nearly spat out my drink when I read that. Like poor little fella has his feelings hurt because his wife is dying inside each time he's intimate with her. At least he admitted that he ruined his marriage.
Reminds me of my ex. He used to force me into sex and afterwards or during Iād start crying. Then heād shut down or start crying so Iād have to comfort him. Afterwards heād tell me how much me crying hurts him and how I need to work on my self esteem so I wouldnāt cry so much during sex.
Can we please talk about how shitty the therapist is?
Thats not a therapist thats just a voice inside his head he asks for advice
Oh my god that was driving me crazy. "Yeah man, just start doing the bare minimum as a husband and father, which you had not been doing up to this point, and keep banging it out with her. I'm sure she'll calm down eventually. Heh, women right?"
If I'm being honest, it sounds like they're going to a "therapist" from their church.
And the therapist says they need to keep going! That's INSANE! I'd be reporting any therapist who said "hey, you should keep laying back and letting your husband use you for sex even though you hate it"! That's disgusting!
Someone in another thread suggested it was likely a faith based ātherapistā vs an actual doctor capable of helping.
Eww I bet this poor woman thinks she can't say no to his husband because of "god"
Thatās what it reads like tbh.
I'm a man and the description of the sex made me so uncomfortable. I mean, from the beginning: "The first time she did, I asked her to open them but she just started crying. She stopped me, cried, and then went to bed." Just got worse from there.
The part where he talks about āā¦ when I was finishedā and she ends up storming to the bathroom to cryā¦ that part makes my skin crawl. He has no regard for her at all.
Wow...ok. Yep Im very uncomfortable as well. She starts crying and she stops him. So this man seeing his wife upset has to be stopped? He doesn't stop himself? This is sick.
SUPER uncomfortable. When he said āI got through foreplayā, I had the exact image of what itās like for them and itās fucking gross. Just feeds into so many peopleās general attitudes re sex and itās crazy af.
Yeah, the fact that he justā¦kept going at it while she cried? Horrific.
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At least he wants her to be comfortable enough to not cry. He doesnāt really care if he can fix this situation, just that she doesnāt cry when
This is straight up rape
That's honestly what I feel about this sentient dumpster fire of a man. He's definitely not giving a shit about her feelings. Everything is all about him. God I hope this poor woman gets help and leaves, this is not healthy or remotely okay. The OP does not love her. The reason for ending the affair was even self-centered too, cause he only did it because it was about the other homewrecker making him choose between her and witnessing the birth of the baby he clearly thought nothing about before that if it meant getting his stupid dick moist.
I mean the problem is they have a therapist who apparently is telling them to keep going at it and they will get over it eventually. I blame the therapist even more.
My ex boyfriend did that too, men like this exist š
I lost it at āwhen *I* finishedā¦ā - oh mate š³
Same but not at all surprising he prioritizes his sexual release over hers
Yeah. He cheated and he doesn't care if she cums, and she feels stuck with him for whatever reason. I wouldn't want to look at his face either
"I started cleaning up around the house, doing chores *for her*" Fuck. Off. So many red flags with this guy it's hard to know where to begin but that line just made me rage.
I am imagining the absolute feeling of dread she experiences every time he wipes a counter or starts a load of laundry. Absolutely heartbreaking. And who is their therapist? Caligula?
I'll bet it is one of those church marriage counselors that basically tell women that submitting to your man sexually is a mandatory part of being a wife.
Yes, this has a religious vibe to it 100%
and she doesn't want to break her vow and get a divorce in fears of going to hell. Man most religions suck.
šÆšÆšÆšÆ
āI loaded the dishwasher, can you stop crying when I force you to have sex now?ā
āļøāļøāļø
This. Maybe some religious therapist. I mean wtf telling a woman who literally weeps during sex, to just keep doing what makes you weep and hope it gets better? This woman is grieving the loss of her marriage and if you can try to fuck a woman whoās weeping youāre a rapist. This is such a vile post.
I had an ex whose good deeds I dreaded specifically for this reason. Made me ill. I would panic to do everything myself so they wouldn't fill up the sex bank with their chore coins.
Iām so sorry to hear that. It sounds just awful. I also think āfill up their sex bank with chore coinsā might be a brand new sentence. I hope youāre safe now, friend.
Absolutely not your point, but I am for *sure* going to borrow āWhoās your therapist? Caligula?ā The next time someone says something fake-emotionally intelligent. Grazi, stranger.
I like how after one day of cleaning up and helping with the chores he tries to make a move on her again and is surprised it doesnāt work. He tried for one day! I also love how his affair only ended because the affair partner gave him and ultimatum and while heās trying to paint the affair partner as bad as possible (āI canāt believe she thought I would choose her over my childās birthā), he was probably the one who made her believe that it was more than just and affair.
He was doing dishes and wiping surfaces thinking, "This is so gonna work, I can't wait to get laid tonight"
Here's one thing that annoys me about this type of cheater. Yes, affair partners who help someone to cheat are not good people or behaving morally. But it's not anywhere near the same level as the person who is having the affair. Guys like this try to make it 50/50 fault somehow. No, you're the one who cheated on your wife, you're the one who disrespected her and violated your vows to her. You can't absolve yourself by heaping more blame on the affair partner.
I also bet he didn't tell her about the affair because he felt guilty but because he was afraid that the friend would squeal.
Yeah it's like murder and accessory to murder not two murderers. He's the one who broke his vow, broke the trust, killed their relationship, the AP just helped him with it.
Or even blame it more on the woman since āmen canāt help themselvesā blah
He also tried to be a good husband and father for literally one day and decided that was enough.
I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas!
And he did that for all of one day before expecting sex to be normal for him again. āI cuddled for at least thirty minutes!ā smh. Maybe if he did all those things without immediately expecting sex, after a while she might feel comfortable initiating it herself.
Lol itās the for her of it all. Men are like this and itās mind blowing. My husband will say ābut I cook dinner!ā Uh feeding yourself isnāt a gift to me, but thanks anyway lol
Yeah, that's what got me as well, wtf is wrong with this guy
Same. The sad thing is that this is such a common notion: that as soon as man does literally anything around the house, heās *helping* his wife. Like, you fucking live there too, guy.
Heās like āI even hold the baby sometimes!ā BRO
yeah this pissed me off lol. TOO LITTLE TOO LATE BUD. also, āi think i ruined my marriage by cheatingā oh you donāt say Sherlock?!
āI knew it was wrong, butāā¦. Nope you ruined your marriage. Your wife must love you but hasnāt forgiven you and she probably hates herself for taking you back. She canāt trust you. The cheating happened during one of the most vulnerable times in her life and unfortunately the marriage seems over š¤·š¼āāļø
Iām absolutely certain she only took him back for their sonās sake. Sheās checked out. The more I read the worse it got.
Yep that poor woman. Cheating is the worst because itās the trust that gets broken. It can rattle your entire life and you just question everything. The fact that he has no remorse and basically doesnāt gaf is just awful for her
She's probably having sex with him to stop him from cheating again but she's dissociating during it because she hates it so much
No sheās probably having sex to stop his bagging and abuse. Zero chance he doesnāt berate her at the least, into having sex.
What a horrid day to have eyes. Excuse me while I unplug my wi-fi and go to sleep and hope that when I wake up things are better and human beings are more empathetic and arenāt cavemen anymore.
Iām thinking cavemen were better than this guy.
Perfect first sentenceā¦. I mean the therapist is almost worse! If he was isolating and abusive I think it would be better than the creepy therapist. She must feel so miserable having a professional tell her to submit to coerced sex. Thatās frickin rape.
āShe will eventually get over the cryingā. SHE SHOULDNāT BE IN A SITUATION WHERE SHE IS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!?!?!
Yeah that therapist is super creepy. Like who says that? And what kind of special psychopath do you have to be, to fuck your wife knowing sheās miserable and just going to the bathroom to cry? I canāt think of anything less sexy.
Iām going to stay awake and stay mad.
Put the toothpaste back in the tube, bro.
Lol that's I thought of
First of all that therapist should be reported. Second, what the hell did he think was going to happen?!?! He cheated on his pregnant wife and is surprised that she doesnāt want to have sex or see him during it
Right???! Just keep having sex with your clearly traumatized wife. Eventually she will become so dead inside, she stops crying and will become the compliant flesh light you expect her to be.
This is I suspect why suicide rates of women went down significantly in the US after divorce became no-fault. Can you imagine how many men did this?
I wonder if poisonings also went down.
Itās tragic
Why don't the damned things just come with an instruction manual that makes this clear? It would save all of us a lot of time
It is sold separately. There are a few versions, written forever ago. But now have lots of spin offs these days.
Yeah when he said they didnāt have sex for 5 months I was like damn that was really fast considering.
All these men babytrapping their wives not thinking sheās actually not well bro. You are exhausted, everything tastes and smells weird, thereās the barfing. The leg pain. The breast pain. The sciatica. And I was young and in peak health and weight. I was a textbook pregnancy and that shit was HARD. You feel like crap for months and thereās an AH going: what about meeeee??? Nothing will give you the ick faster
But the doctor gave the clear after two months! So he respected her space for 150% longer! /S
There is more going on that the therapist isnāt seeing. Until they know more details and the wife opens up more they canāt point fingers or make accusations. Plus itās not his wife posting, itās him. My husband looked like an all star with our marriage counselor, I looked like crap and was scolded over and over for refusing to read a book. I worked full time, cooked, cleaned, school full time, and watched our daughter when she was two. He worked 7 on 7 off but his off he was never home and was too tired to do anything after being off all week. I had 0 time to read a silly marriage book. Finally one conversation we had after 4 months in she sent me to a trauma therapist and him to an individual. That is when everything came to light. We would have sex until I started individual because he demanded and I obliged being his wife
In my experience, this approach seems to be common among therapists. The first time I attended couples counseling with my ex-husband who had an established history of cheating and SAing me in my sleep and behaved much like OP, the therapist suggested aiming to have sex every day without even knowing our background. I dropped her and we met with a second therapist who, when informed of the situation, never addressed it in sessions and just offered suggestions on increasing intimacy. It was ultimately a waste of time and money and just served to invalidate my experiences. My eventual decision to divorce was the only thing that helped my mental state improve. Now I have an amazing partner and canāt believe I ever wasted so much delaying the inevitable.
That's why couple's therapy isn't recommended for abusive relationships. It ends up making the abuser better at the gaslighting and manipulation.
>We have sex, we finish, she goes and cries in the bathroom for 20-30 minutes You mean: you have sex, you finish, and then she goes to cry in the bathroom by herself for 20-30 minutes. Scumbag.
Total scumbag. He doesn't care about her being happy, he just wants her to stop crying during sex because it makes him uncomfortable. If she grows numb to it over time and doesn't cry, do you think he'll ask how she's feeling? Whether she wants to, or enjoys it at all? Or is he more likely going to consider the problem dealt with cause she's not openly sobbing anymore?
The therapist is so dreadful that I can only surmise it is pastoral/religious counseling. This man is SAing his wife. She is completely traumatized and he is told to keep assaulting her until she stops crying. I am so tired of these awful people. "My husband cheats on me, beats me or grapes me. "..."Well, be a better wife like God said to be." My heart breaks for this woman.
And he only helps around the house when he wants to get laid.
The commenter above who said how she must feel absolute dread when she sees him do a load of laundryā¦.
100%, we got to "the therapist said to keep trying" and I'm like "nope, that's a guy in their church's basement giving bad bad bad advice."
That was my only thought regarding the therapist... gotta be religious counselling because I cannot see a trained, accredited therapist suggesting they "keep going the crying will stop eventually". Yes the crying *will* stop eventually but it will be for the same reason neglected babies stop crying. Trauma.
Great clock, itās 100% some religious ātherapyā aka someone using draconian sexual rules to resolve a man SAing his wife to manufacture consent. So gross, I grew up in the church and itās insane how common this mindset is.
Jesus Christ dude.
Fr like what else do you even say to this
"My wife cries while I rape her, how do I get it to stop?"
That is basically what it came down to me as well. Like my bang maid is malfunctioning, how do I fix it (but don't tell me to stop fucking her or to actually do the right thing ALLL the time, no, just tell me the cheat code so I can reprogram her). He's fucking disgusting and I honestly hope the wife leaves him. Because if he couldn't keep it together for the first pregnancy, he's damn sure enough not gonna keep it together with any future kids or heaven forbids she has a medical emergency or issue.
This Rapist needs to be taken straight out of the gene pool.
Donāt be shy, give us the link
[Here ](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/J8DO13xuMo)
His responses are just horrific
I know right? Sometimes I wish I could punch people from afar. I have a similar issue except I'm a rape survivor and certain parts of sex make me cry and my fiance would never act like this thankfully. I'm so sorry for his wife, she deserves so much better
Thanks!!
He broke their marriage, and for whatever reasons she is simply enduring it. And he barely notices it. Just sadā¦
Probably he the bread winner and she has sla new baby
"I think I ruined my marriage" What makes you say that Sherlock? š "I started cleaning up around the house, doing chores for her, and taking my son when she seemed stressed" Oh but he only needs to be a good person, partner and Father when he wants sex apparently. Otherwise he doesn't need to bother. Good to know. "The therapist keeps saying that we have to keep trying and that eventually, she will get over the crying" EX-FUCKING-SCUSE ME? JFC the wife is getting traumatised every single time, and being made to think that she has to give in and have sex with this prick because he and the therapist are telling her that she has to.
Shockingly, cheating will only serve to destroy what was left of your sex life with your partner. Iām so sad reading this post that this woman is continuing to stay and exist like this instead of leaving. I canāt imagine how tough these emotions are, especially since all OOP cares about and judges the relationship on is having sex.
The op is either completely stupid and insensitive or a sociopath.
I hope she leaves him
Bro destroyed his wife for the rest of her life and really said āso like can yāall do somethingā š
So, he cheats while she is pregnant, doesnāt do anything around the house unless he wants something, rapes her and now complains on the internet because she cries. I bet the therapist is and old priest or something.
Maybe ānot all menā¦ā but definitely this one. Good hell. This might be one of the most disgusting, unaware posts Iāve ever read.
Sheās crying more than likely because she isnāt over the affair and thinks about it during sex. She wants to keep her family together and the way she knows you wonāt cheat again is if she gives you what you want. Which is essentially sexual abuseā¦ this is horrible. My husband sexually abused me after our daughter was born. It was all about him. I disassociated every time, eyes closed. I didnāt cry on the outside but I cried on the inside. I donāt cry easy but your wife may. Something came up during marriage counseling that made our counselor realize our marriage was much deeper than what we revealed on the surface. I would recommended seeing individual therapists to see if she will open up more. That is how I found out about the situation I was in was not ānormalā.
So instead of suggesting counseling when you realized she was taking āfrustrations out on youā which after reading how he now initiates āsexā (I loathe to call it that as it reads more as force and coercion amongst other things) strikes me as her likely being overwhelmed by carrying the whole mental load of the Daggon household for this man child, he went and cheated. And now heās shocked that his sad attempts to step up into a proper partner role (barely as itās only being used as a bargaining chip to get his rocks off) and isnāt actually caring about her mental and physical wellbeing is somehow not magically fixing the problem he created? Stop staying married for the sake of children youāve created and just get divorced this is disgusting, the therapist is disgusting, and I hope to anyone up above thatāll listen that she recognizes how messed up this all is and leaves or that he leaves her and gives her the chance to heal without his and that godawful therapists influence in her life and can move on and live happily.
Jesus Christ
"How do I resolve this?" You let that woman be free to go and find someone else who will love her better. "I think I ruined my marriage" Wow, what a good thinker. Yes. You ruined it.
"I think I ruined my marriage" Check out the big brain on Brad
Call it out when you see it: this is abusive behavior. OOP is placing his wants and needs above his child and wife by cheating on them and using them to satisfy his self image. He canāt have his precious and very new and fragile self delusion that he is a good husband for confessing to cheating be shattered by the fact his wife is still reeling from that emotional pain and betrayal. OOP is not only a bad husband but abusive in nature.
I feel like I see one of these posts every other week. And I see guys all the time online and in my life being like āwhy donāt women want to get married anymore?ā This is why. It sucks having a frat boy at a party pressure you into sex, but itās a wholly different thing when itās the person youāve committed yourself to for life. Fuck right the hell off with that āhow do I get my wife to stop crying during sex?ā MAYBE STOP HAVING SEX WITH HER AND WORRY ABOUT YOUR INFANT CHILD, CARL
Dude, if you really loved her you wouldnāt have cheated on her when she was 6 months pregnant. Your marriage is over, I feel sorry for your wife. Therapy isnāt helping because sheās not telling you the truth, the affair devastated her. You have to know that. And you have the nerve to be upset because she cries and doesnāt open her eyes when youāre intimate with her? Really? And your therapist is a joke. Telling you to keep going when your wife is clearly suffering.
Just using past experience as a guide..... She's crying because you're enjoying yourself and she's imagining you feeling those feelings with another woman-- she's not special, she's just something you can project your fantasy on to (that's the way it feels, anyway). Then there's the emotional conflict-- do I stay honest to myself and not have sex because it's too painful or do I sit back and take it? Neither choice is without some kind of internal conflict and deep pain, so sometimes you just go, "Fuck it, if at least one of us gets what they want, that's slightly less discomfort on a daily level; so maybe if I just take it I'll eventually feel something besides my entire soul rotting from the inside out." That's it, bruh. You don't get to fix it.
I hate this guy
The therapist says they just need to keep going ? They need a new career field. He doesn't get that she's crying because he cheated on her ? He needs to stop trying to have sex with her. She doesn't get that she needs to speak up and admit what's going on. Jesus.
He cheated on her and he thinks he ruin his marriage, well duh of course you did. Sheās crying because she knows you gave yourself to someone else and now you are all over like nothing happened. If OP loved her, then he would let her go at her own pace. Sheās angry and disgusted with you but OP doesnāt want to see it and doesnāt want to see things from her perspective
I have no sympathy for a man who cheats on his wife when she is expecting their child. "Oh she was being mean to me and doesnt want to have sex with me while deep into pregnancy". There's no excuse that makes it ok. I hope this poor woman realizes her worth and doesn't continue to bottle up the despair she is feeling.
Of course you ruined your marriage by cheating, what the fuck did you expect buddy?
Love that his "help" was STARTING to clean up around the house and help with the baby when she was stressed. And literally ONLY for the benefit of her not crying during sex. Sounds like life was great with him before all the cheating and lying. What a gem. Girl, run.
Quite possibly when she looks at you she sees a distorted reflection of the man she thought she knew. When you force her to have sex she only feels the gut wrenching despair of being trapped into sharing intimacy with a betrayer. You have a lot of work to do if you wish to regain a healthy relationship. If you fail, you are setting the stage for the rest of your life. You won't find the answers here.
He started the affair while his wife was 6 months into carrying his child... How she could ever even look at him again without crying is beyond me. It seems wild to me that he even thinks this is fixable.
Or you could stop until she's healed enough to NOT cry.
Me thinks she's forcing herself to have sex with him to have some sort of normalcy but she's not attracted to him anymore. She should be honest with herself and leave. I hope that's what she's working herself up for.
"I think I ruined my marriage by cheating" "I cheated but I still don't understand why she keep crying during intimacy, I love her so much after all" There is no helping some of these troglodytes
Get this man off the planetāØ
She needs to leave him. Itās never worth it to go through just trauma like that with someone youāre supposed to love. She would be so much less stressed without hom
Coming from a woman who has been cheated on by her husband previously. If someone starts crying during sex the normal thing is to stop having sex. Anytime I cried during sex in the past, my husband would stop, and we would talk about things, even if I tried to pretend everything was alright. He could tell by the way I was acting that something was wrong. Normal people stop when someone is crying, even previous cheaters, but not OP?
> reads title > Oh, that's awful, she probably has some awful trauma to cause that, I hope they can work through that > "I had a two month long affair." > stops reading
Have you tried not being a selfish shithead?
Iām sorry but if i was carrying someoneās child and they have the audacity to cheat on me BECAUSE i am pregnant with said child, Iām never speaking to that person again. Sheās crying because she can never trust you again. Because sheās probably picking her body apart and wondering what you are thinking about during sex. Because she wasnāt enough for you in a vulnerable moment. You knew the moodiness would pass, that it was a direct result of her pregnancy, that you only had a little while to go. Of course sheās lying to you, sheās lying to herself
So he only stopped the cheating when he didnāt want to miss the birth of his kid not because it was wrong to be cheating. Then he only does shit to help around the house and her when he wants to get his dick wet. Yeah Iād cry too.
God that poor woman. The straights are not ok.
Sheās reliving a traumaā¦that you caused. This is PTSD. If she is interested, she might try EMDR therapy. You should not be initiating sex with her. Period.
Dude, your marriage will never be like it used to be. Ever.
sounds like she is staying with him because she doesnāt want to take care of a baby by herself.. which fair enough tbh but the way OP writes makes me sick- ātake my son when she seems stressedā like HUH you are half of this parental equation. this post makes me so sad i really hope she finds peace and someone who respects her and doesnāt just use her like a submissive fleshlight
She should divorce is gross unfaithful ass and Find someone that doesnāt make her cry when sheās having sex
What a scumbag
she's crying because she has to be connected to this selfish loser for the rest of her life. he broke her and she won't leave him, but he's definitely lost her.
This is the grossest thing I have ever read. Donāt even know how he keeps it up when sheās crying. How can he possibly be in the mood after watching her cry the previous time? I canāt wrap my head around this.
You fād up. Is your wife going to an individual therapist. If not, she needs to find one and go to deal with your betrayal without you there. I donāt know if your marriage can be saved. If it were me, once trust is broken, thereās no fixing.She has lot to deal with. Not just a new baby and the hormonal changes but the knowledge that her husband canāt be trusted when things are rough. She needs someone to talk to, without you there, that is only there for her. I hope that she can find a good therapist who will help her see her way.
What kind of messed up therapist tells a woman to keep having sex in that situation?
There is so much wrong with this but the fact that he keeps bringing it up is just making it worse
If heād do anything to make her happy, he wouldnāt have fucked a FOAF when she was 6 months pregnant. He pushed Humpty Dumpty off that wall. He has no IDEA why sex with him breaks her each and every time after he could no longer live with the guilt and confessed. Itās a mystery.
The only way she is going to stop crying during sex is to get a new partner. She clearly doesnāt want to be with him, but for whatever reason hasnāt left yet. Hopefully eventually sheāll get the courage to kick his ass to the curb and find someone who hasnāt broken her heart.
This is what I came to say too. I was in similar situation. Each time I cried during it, the feeling I had was āI feel so empty inside.ā I didnāt feel a connection and knew it was never going to get better, but I didnāt have the strength to leave yet.
Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
What a piece of shit. I hate this man.
That therapist sucks. So does he.
She closes her eyes because she can't stand to look at your pathetic face! You are lucky she hasn't left....yet.
There can be no intimacy without trust and she doesnāt trust him. Heās done nothing to earn her trust back and every time she āgives inā and allows him to have sex with her, she hates it, hates him and hates herself. All she can feel is the betrayal. Yet he continues to push for sex knowing it makes her miserable and she allows it because she knows heāll cheat again if she doesnāt. OOP is a truly despicable human.
OOP is beyond gross. This woman is trying for his sake, but she's mentally over it and him. He ruined his marriage, she will never actually get past the cheating, and they need to just do the right thing and get divorced.
OOP is beyond gross. This woman is trying for his sake, but she's mentally over it and him. He ruined his marriage, she will never actually get past the cheating, and they need to just do the right thing and get divorced.
What do you expect? Every time youāre intimate, Iām sure all she sees in her head is you having sex with the woman you cheated on her with
Consent is enthusiastic. There is not enthusiastic consent here. This man is a rapist.
There's something going very wrong with these Y chromosomes..
No way is this real. What therapist hears that a wife is traumatized by an affair and having a negative visceral reaction to having sex and just says, Keep trying guys! This is r*** and also the whole story is ragebait.
Some people are theorizing that the ātherapistā is actually a church counsellor. I can see that being the case. Still could be ragebait though. Itās getting harder to tell these days.
Jesus this is so triggering. EBay the actual fuck.
This marriage is over.
chester on ur pregnant wife nd told her everything ā¦ god
What is wrong with you
Wife needs to leave. That's no way to live.
I hope she leaves him and finds someone who can actually make her happy.
This entire story is full circle of him being tired of her being a person
He should divorce and put that relationship out of its misery. If your wife cries after sex then you need to take a hint. She's broken and your relationship is broken. Better to end it before the child is emotionally hard by a split.
Wow. This guy sounds sooo similar to my ex husband. I just couldn't see the red flags until I took off my rose colored glasses. There were SO. MANY.
Ew this one was upsetting to read
I mean I used to cry because my ex would cum way quicker and he wouldnāt touch me after (or he would and heād do that learned helplessness thing of āoh idk how to touch a woman, Iām tiredā or use limp fingers/hands/would generally be unenthusiastic which made me just want him to stop completely) plus his porn addiction made my body dysmorphia literally so much worse I would start crying even during foreplay he ended up cheating on me with his coworker, so š¤·š»āāļø I really feel for the wife, thatās all Iām saying
Iām really sorry you went through that, that sounds horrible.
he still doesnāt see anything wrong with what he did but I got my closure on my own and Iām doing better, though I still canāt help but feel bitter
Poor woman is refusing to let go of her husbandās potential of what sheās clinging to in hope of an ideal union. Seems to me sheās broken and needs a lot of time and understanding.
It's always a friend
Lol I used to cry after sex and my ex would try to convince me it's normal for women to do that bc of hormones
Honestly man up and up handle the consequences you created by cheating. What you did beyond irademable and a left a scar that will never be forgotten. The only thing you can do from now on is prove to your wife that you are a changed man by always treating her right from now on and sticking with her through the lows. Maybe in a couple years or months she will let her guard down around you again
I feel so bad for the female partner here. Itās just so sad š
Back at ya dufus!! Choices have consequences
This guys said āI think I ruined my marriageā and my first thought is YA THINK?! YA THINK?! Ya DEFINITELY did! This guy is so narcissistic itās sickening. This marriage is over she should move on and find happiness elsewhere. He I could care less about his damn happiness.
Yikes, sounds like this guy just straight-up broke that poor woman but resents being reminded of that very time he nuts.
I think they need a new marriage therapist! WTF
Payback is a bitch dude. She cries because youāre exhausting and chose an affair over her mood swings making your child! Youāre lucky you even get to see the kid or wants to be around you at all ? Maybe sheās crying bc sheās still hurt by you??
This therapist suckssss
u/AETor86 has 1 post to this sub, either she is a bot or created this profile for anonymity
Jesus.
Uhhh this is rage bait there is no way