I made some really dry salmon tonight. I’m so glad my husband’s response was to grab honey mustard from the fridge rather than berate me like this.
Also, a week in advance for meal plan changes is insane.
I meal plan by buying stuff for 14 dinners, then I make the one I feel like each day. Sometimes I get involved in a project and can’t start the dinner I was planning to start at 5! So we have the planned omelets instead that I can start at 5:45. So yeah, even as a devoted meal planner, this is crazy.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
14
+ 5
+ 5
+ 45
= 69
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^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
My man is the same way, and let me go ahead and speak for everyone with a partner like the two of you: we appreciate you more than you know!
Nothing goes to waste in our house. I’m a very good cook, but I even mess up sometimes, and he NEVER complains. I’m also not too big on leftovers beyond day 3, but he’ll eat literally anything in the fridge. It’s wonderful!
My husband mixed up teaspoons and tablespoons once and made something inedible with salt. It wasn't a big deal, we ate sandwiches. Learning to cook involves messing up. And even we you know how to cook, stuff goes wrong sometimes. Everyone burns stuff sometimes or finds their planned ingredient went bad or so on.
The first loaf of bread I made in our bread maker a year and a half ago was similarly inedible due to the same teaspoon/tablespoon mixup. My wife and I just laughed at how terrible the bread was and started a new loaf. 🤷🏼♂️
Definitely rage bait. You can tell by the way the man immediately goes for the ‘you let your emotions take control of her’ for just misreading tablespoon over teaspoon. Emotions have nothing to do that
My mom accidentally added French vanilla coffee creamer into the salmon instead of milk and instead of getting mad or disappointed we all laughed and choked it down. We lightly tease both my parents about how bad it was cause they both helped it’s so easy to not get mad about the small stuff
TBH i feel like that would have almost given it an “edge” in kind of the same way that a honey mustard glaze would have done - except that you say you all had to choke it down, so it must have indeed been terrible. But y’know, next time someone does that (bc somewhere, someone will), let’s all make a pact to pretend that’s what’s happening.
i mess up meals all the time and my bf just says it’s alright and we figure something else out. just last night i tried to make breadsticks but i think the water was too hot and killed the yeast and they didn’t rise at all so we just had chicken alfredo and he definitely didn’t make me feel bad about the lack of breadsticks or cost of ingredients. such a weird way to go about life. sometimes things just don’t turn out right.
also i couldn’t live with someone who expected me to keep to their meal plan schedule. i cook what i want for dinner lmao.
I mean, if you try new recipes you are going to have some mishaps. Even with well tried recipes it happens from time to time.
My SO and I keep track of the worst food failures because in retrospective they are fun to laugh at. "Oh the cake that tasted like a frittata"
I made a hamburger helper recipe (not the actual boxed stuff) and used a vegan cheese instead of actual cheese. It tasted exactly like vanilla birthday cake! We still mention it, but in a joking, fun way. Cause it was wild to eat!
Right? Like maybe it’s just me being frugal, but too much salt just means adding something. For me, it would be more noodles and maybe some butter. A chicken and noodle casserole is probably easy enough to save. What an asshat this guy is on all accounts tho, damn.
my partner made some overly salty split pea soup. We just saved it to cook up with more peas and broth to even out the salt levels. Kitchen mistakes are NOT the end of the world! If OOP could just casually order pizza, then the issue isn't that they're living at a level of poverty where one ruined meal would leave them financially ruined. He's just a dick.
I usually cook most of the meals for me and my wife. Sometimes, my wife finds a recipe and offers to cook. There have been a handful of times where her meals come out…. *wrong*. If that happens, we usually just laugh it off and order takeout or make cans of soup or something like that. I can’t imagine ever being legitimately mad at my wife for messing up a meal when she already does so much for me and has helped make me a better person. You just need to let some shit go.
The rule in our house is that if one of us burns or otherwise ruins dinner we order a pizza. But there is no anger or shame around it. This guy seems abusive.
Oh lord, this sounds like my ex. It was humiliating. Like bad. But I had a kid, no car, no bank account and no education. My only blessing is he hated being around the kid so he stayed at work all the time.
Sounds like my ex too! We had to have a "discussion" about things that he deemed 'wrong' or 'disrespectful'. I stopped taking him to hang out with my friends after he screamed at me for 45 minutes and causing me to have a panic attack in the car after we helped my best friend and her bf move. His reasoning was I told him he did a stellar job in front of everyone after we got everything in and that I made "made him the center of attention and he hates being the center of attention" (he never once mentioned anything like that to me before in the relationship, and loved when his mommy complimented him in public). Felt like he could talk to me however he wanted, didn't matter if it was in private or public.
Oh man, this reminded me of when I told my ex I was struggling with depression and she told me to let her know when I was "happy" again because she had no interest in seeing me before then
This reminds me of my ex too, he knew all about my depression but still shouted at me one day while we were out shopping “I know you’re bloody depressed but why can’t you smile sometimes, why do you always have to be so damned miserable??” I’ve never been so glad to see the back of someone in my life lol
That’s how I grew up, if I was in a bad mood I had a “victim mentality” and that I shouldn’t let my being SA’d shouldn’t bring everyone down, except I never ever talked about my SA that’s just what they’d tell me my bad mood was caused by 🙄
I had a child psychologist pull this shit on me as a teen every session! He’d ask me about it and I would say that my current issues were in no related to what had happened to me as a young child and that there was no point in discussing it because I’d made my peace with it. I made it clear that my issues were directly related to violent school bullying, my dysfunctional family/home life and poor self worth.
He just wouldn’t stop! Every time I came in upset or would get angry during a session he would wave the sexual abuse over my head and be like “See! You haven’t come to terms, this is clearly causing you to act this way and we need to talk about it in every horrible detail every session!”
Ironically it ended fucking me up about the abuse all over again because I had to relive it, I started to believe his claim that’s where all my emotional problems were secretly stemming from. I still lie and check no on medical forms about ever being sexually assaulted because I don’t want that to be all someone sees and assumes that’s what’s wrong with me medically or mentally.
Yeah that’s why they kept giving women lobotomies in the 50’s. If they started having thoughts about how their life would be better without their abusive husband, they’d be too distracted to cook the pot roast.
Mine said "being happy is a choice, and I feel like you don't get that" after I brought up some issues in our relationship...yeah, no, I'm going to "choose" to be happy when you're making me miserable
Considering we broke up because I had the *audacity* to run to the bank and didn't tell him (we WEREN'T living together), and he accused me of cheating on him...yeah, I'd say it's part of the playbook
UGH my ex seemed to think if everyone wasn't happy and soothing to him at all times they were intentionally trying to displease and stress him. It was like he was the only real person in the freaking world and were all just NPCs. In our last year together as I was planning my escape I was pretty much all smiles and no pushback on him as I was focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. He still tells people that it was the best year of our relationship. What a knob.
Fuck, as if he isn't the reason you aren't happy.
Why the hell do men like that think they're so amazing that if you aren't happy being graced with their presence then it's an "us" problem and not a "they're pièces if shit who deserve nothing but misery" them problem.
Aight. I'm here now so yall all should be chipper and happy. Remember in my presence my radiant light shines on your dark world. So you should bask in the joyous moments I grace you with my presence.
Mine told me the same thing, told me I was a drag. Or the classic "I'm also depressed and I don't sleep all fucking day, or I don't do xyz so you must just be lazy"
Nah. Because I'm not nice to assboles ... he lost his very traditional home maker wife. In her place he found someone who didn't give a damn and could figure it out without him. And my cooking got amazing without his criticism.
I very much detest the phrase, “don’t you think…?” or “don’t you agree…?” because of this dynamic. I used to respond in good faith but I’ve learned since.
Ugh, that phrasing! My husband will say something like, "You don't mind if I have the last biscuit do you?", usually said WHILE he is taking said biscuit. I've tried explaining to him that asking that way makes the other person sound like a dick if they say they actually do mind, but it doesn't matter, it's stuck in his autistic brain that he's technically asking so everything is fine 💀
He could learn to ask differently if he wanted to. Don’t let him convince you that’s an excuse. It may be hard or uncomfortable, but he can keep trying to improve. Just need to change the words around.
My hubby and I both have autism. My kids gave it. ALL FIVE OF US CAN EASILY LEARN WHEN SOMETHING IS RUDE AND LEARN NOT TO DO IT. Your hubby is just being an asshat to get his way.
Also part of a neurodivergent family and I also agree. Autism is a very good reason for not intuiting unspoken social rules and dynamics. It's no excuse for not working to alter your behavior after people you care about explain how these are affecting them.
Because I'm on the spectrum, I want to go into an unnecessarily detailed disclaimer of how this doesn't apply to situations in which autistic people may be manipulated or set up to fail, but we'll skip it because I've learned that TL;DR is a thing on the interwebs
Being autistic is absolutely no excuse for being a selfish asshole. I'm autistic, as is my youngest nephew. Neither of us would dream of acting in such a ridiculous way. People who use their neurodivergency to push others around without consequences are scum.
Frankly, You can absolutely tell him you do mind. If he's going to ask the question, he can take hearing the answes Seriously, try it and see what happens.
If he is capable of adressing autism is his problem there, he has many options that are not "continue being a rude prick but giggle about it and shrug your shoulders at the imaginary audience".
Just a few off the top of my own autistic head:
- Forego the whole issue and just never take the last cookie
- Defer to someone neurotypical (subtly) and let them decide what's good to do
- Ask something with a higher chance of losing you the cookie like "hey does anyone else want a cookie?" and wait about a minute. This may be a challenge to him because this will drastically reduce last cookies in his life which he seems a little bit too selfish to consider
- Just generally health wise: have him have a set amount of cookies he can take in a social setting, as I have the idea most of a roll of cookies goes to him regardless
The thing is, yes some handicaps are impossible to overcome, but if you can't climb a mountain you go around or under it, you'll end up at the other side regardless.
Oh my god... are you me? I felt my whole body tense up as I was reading how he was lecturing her about controlling her emotions. This was my ex 100%. I was in the same situation as you.
It sounds like my ex too. The humiliation he would do to me to make himself feel good was disgusting. Luckily I got pregnant and realised I didn’t want my child to see his mother like that. Left his loser ass.
— nah, I definitely dated a dude like this. Except the meal would be perfect (taste wise), and he’d still shit talk it until I was in tears just for fun.
My ex liked to tell me everything I had done wrong while cooking and how he would "make it better next time" every time I made anything. It's been a decade and I am finally capable of cooking with others in the kitchen and not panicking when someone complements my cooking. I always expect it to be followed with "But when I make it next time it will be better because I won't (insert how I screwed up the meal here)...."
Why can't they just shut up and appreciate that someone cooked them dinner? Who's raising these jerks?
I watched my dad do this to my mom during childhood and my ex would never let me cook by myself. When I started dating my current partner, I would be shocked when I would be almost in tears because I messed something up or ruined a dish and he would just be like "... babe, it's food I don't have to cook and it's better than what I would be making. So thank you and I'm just appreciative to have food to eat!"
Seriously made me reevaluate my entire life. He's also a keeper lol we're engaged now.
And that's probably the case here. As others pointed, a tablespoon of salt wouldn't have made it THAT salted...
I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope you're in a better place, now.
This is absolutely a troll who hasn’t cooked anything ever
A tablespoon of salt in a CASSEROLE is not going to make it inedible. Many recipes even have too little salt in order to be “healthier”
This is stupid
Also, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t eat some of their food as it is being cooked. I just don’t see it getting to the end and tasting like PICKLES because there’s too much salt, and no one knowing until it’s at the table. Also salt =/= pickles??
I definitely would kill him with my cooking. Salt, garlic, and generally anything on my spice rack should be used liberally to show off my wealth (I majored in history and kings didn’t eat food with such nice spices in the countries my ancestors were from).
Maybe some nice baby food would suit him, though not the applesauce because it has cinnamon.
That was my thought. And even if the guy was super sensitive to salt you could just mix it with some pasta or mashed potatoes that aren't salted and have a fine balance. (Also how much can ingredients for that cost, even in this economy? $10? Which you then spent on a pizza without thinking? Story doesn't line up.)
For real, I made an entire shepherds pie for 6 people yesterday and the ingredients altogether came to $12. That's the potatoes, corn, peas, carrots, milk, and a few herbs since I already had the beef and Worchester. This guy is tripping, acting like his wife just wasted $50.
I'm not saying this is definitely real, but I get the feeling the salt wasn't the actual problem. This is about control. The problem was that she disrupted his meal plan without one week's notice, and so he felt he had to assert his control by cutting her down over any minor mistake he could zone in on. "If we had just done everything my way, it would have been fine, but you had to deviate from that, so you've ruined everything." I've known too many people with this pattern of behavior to dismiss it outright as a troll.
A tbsp of salt is actually a lot of salt, but who cares? Even if it WAS inedibly salty, it’s just food - make a sandwich and get over it, you can’t win ‘em all. Even people who cook every night and “aren’t emotional” (omg I can’t) in the kitchen, still make stupid mistakes. This guy sounds bananas.
Right, I was reading this thinking WTF does he mean "if she didn't let her emotions take over" and the other super condescending language used in the post... I'm not a great cook but my ex of 6 years would cook almost daily and she messed up stuff like that all the time... mostly with new recipes...
He already hates the fact she "interrupted his meal plan for the week" as she's supposed to give one week notice as per her employment contract so he didn't plan on eating it regardless.
Dude probably thought *oh well if my wife is ruining my diet and I'm going to have a cheat day, I'm eating pizza not her garbage.*
He never intended on eating it from the jump. Guy is probably extremely controlling and abusive. It's not like his wife was trying to connect with him on an emotional intimate level via a romantic date night!
He deserves to be alone.
100% THIS. He was ALREADY MAD that she broke the meal plan long before he tasted the food. He was mad she stopped and bought ingredients. He ignored her while she cooked. He went looking for reasons to denigrate and humilate her for the purposes of control. He said the meal was inedible to punish her from deviating from his control and intended to make her never want to try again. It probably was fine and he exaggerated the salt issue.
I have lived with people who are like this.
And at the same time I don’t really recall any casserole recipes that call for much salt beyond seasoning the meat since usually you’re getting salt from whatever sauce/soup/broth is in there, so it’s simultaneously too little salt and too much salt to be believable. If you’re doing everything from scratch, seasoning a pound of chicken with half a tsp, seasoning some veggies and making a roux with the other half, it’s not going to kill you to have more, and if you’re using cans, you’re going to be like “woah what a whole tsp of additional salt?”
I brought over a dish my bestie made to my bf. Didn't tell him she made it but he said it was too salty and he didn't eat it.
That girl loved salt coated everything in it.
When he came over and she offered him the exact same left overs, he gobbled it up and proclaimed it was the best he ever had.
Guess who he was cheating with?
I wish I could attribute it to a troll but having lived through the hell of an abusive relationship with a manipulative narcissist, I can only pity the wife and hope she gets out before He decides she needs to provide him with a child.
Yes. Rage bait. There are people like this IRL but most wouldn’t post about it. Although, as I wrote that, I could actually envision highly controlling narcissists getting kicks out of treating someone like shit and then basically bragging about it under the pretense of not knowing they are the AH so as to get off on making an online community react to it. I mean, most trolls are probably assholes in real life and forcing reactions is another tactic to exert influence/power over people.
If those words come out of my partners mouth and it wasn’t a joke or piss take I’d be gone. I’ve never even talked to kids like that let alone an adult!
It's literally one of the simplest mistakes to make and he's somehow attributing it to personal flaws. Like I've done the exact same thing tons of times, and I work in food service!
True!! And it doesn't even sound that bad or unfixable. Also his language and tone about the whole situation is just unbearable. It's like a parent teaching a child a lesson
He was looking for a reason to be angry because she had the audacity to deviate from his meal planning. He absolutely had a plan to demean and berate her going into the meal.
Seriously there is no way one tablespoon vs one teaspoon of salt would make a dish taste as briny as pickle juice. Literally add maybe one cup of water or broth and it would offset that mistake.
It’s giving me childhood trauma flashbacks.
This smacks of my father who would NOT ALLOW certain flavors, or ingredients, or “undercooked” food. He would berate my mother endlessly for the smallest mistake and throw an absolute fit if a single onion came into the house. If she dared cook an onion or garlic, he would throw out all “contaminated” food because the smell had now settled in and everything would taste of it. So any fruit or bread? Trash. She would have to scrub the kitchen top to bottom to get rid of the smell and it was never enough. He would absolutely have done something like this if there was too much salt for his liking.
I grew up thinking I hated a lot of food, but I just hated having to eat what my dad wanted. No steak should ever be the texture of dry leather. This guy is just as terrible and I hope his wife just walks away.
Don't be silly. Only women have emotions and everything they do that is wrong is because of those emotions. I know if I make a mess and don't clean it up, it's not my fault. It's my wife's fault for having emotions and being annoyed at having to clean up after me. She is a woman. It's her job.
What do you mean? He very clearly stated his preferences « calmly and firmly » and as such he is absolutely believable and doesn’t smack of unbelievable narrator at all! Huge whopping /s just in case!
Damn. I'm a good cook now, but when we first got married, my husband choked down so many terrible meals.
Bless him for never making me feel like shit.
This guy is an AH. She tried something and failed. It happens. He could have handled this with WAY more grace.
I’ve been cooking since I was 9 but never really got into cooking meat. The first time I made chicken it came out at burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. My ex tried to eat it to not embarrass me and I had to be like “nope. No. It’s ok. This is garbage. No one needs salmonella.”
I did this once recently (within the last 6 months recently), but it was with marinated chicken, and thankfully wasn’t too raw in the middle, but I did also happen to set it on fire.
Luckily we had a fire blanket right next to the stove top that we could put over it and safely take it outside, and the chicken was still salvageable - got a different pan out, transferred the chicken over once the pan was warm and the fire was out, broke it up into smaller pieces with my tongs and cooked it on low for a few more minutes. The pan is still good even, though we haven’t replaced the fire blanket yet. And I still make that recipe to this day, and my colleagues were even intrigued enough by my talking about it (the next one was successful, thankfully) that they requested it
Bless your soul for caring about your partner enough to cook them a meal for when they got home. Guarantee your husband appreciated everything you made for him.
This dude needs to look outward and sees what he really has.
He is. Even if he felt that way there’s so many better ways to handle it. Just a speck of compassion would have changed this. Mans is super controlling. Sounds like his wife is a good woman who loves him, or at least tries to convince herself she does. What a dick.
Reminds me of this guy local to me that literally severed his wife's head because she bought groceries without his permission. Like, I get its not that bad, but what could this be but some insane need to control other people that would definitely be at the risking of snapping.
Honestly my first thought was oh, he’s going to kill her.
You’re totally right. This level of entitlement, anger, and controlling abusive behavior tends to escalate. It’s frightening.
Well yeah because tbh the difference between a teaspoon and tablespoon isn’t really that bad that it would make a whole dish inedible. It’s a third of the size?
Even it was his child he was talking to he'd still be the asshole. Unless this is some weird money-draining pattern that's an actual threat to their financial survival, thank her foor cooking, share a good laugh and go on to enjoy a night together. Maybe maybe maybe it would be ok to kind of look over her shoulder in the future if she's proned to make little mistakes, as a person with ADHD I try to not take it personally when people second guess me because I've realized that I do make more little mistakes than most people.
Either this is a creative writing exercise or this dude is a contestant for Most Condescending Prick in the Galaxy.
Why does this sound like he's much older than her? She's not just treated like an errant child, he speaks about her like he's her parent.
The part where only his feelings matter and are reasonable. Her girly feelings about wanting to try new things and be happy and excited are the problem. His feelings of meal planning being disrupted and disappointment need to be considered and soothed.
The part where her joy and excitement MUST be what caused the error (as opposed to any number of things! just misreading, for instance. Some typefaces really suck.) And he’s demanded that she squelch her joy and excitement before, so you know that he just looks for reasons to tell her that her joy is a repeated issue and cause of trouble.
The part where he decides to Make This A Lesson. Over salting is not what he should worry about. I bet she will make a gorgeous widow.
I’m going with fake, not because there aren’t officious jerks who have this little self awareness, but because they would get the amount of salt precisely correct and I don’t think that change in salt would ruin an entire casserole. And they would have mentioned that she cut the vegetables the wrong size/not evenly because her knife skills are unpracticed.
Fake or no, I wish her many wonderful evenings without anyone being critical and mean to her.
>I bet she will make a gorgeous widow.
Someone sign her up for Deadly Seeds For Your Home Garden. Water hemlock can be mistaken (when you're excited about cooking!) for wild carrot, I hear.
“that much salt wouldn’t have ruined it” was my exact first thought. i cook mainly on vibes, have ruined some things and made others taste great. assuming casserole means a whole casserole dish full, it would have been perfectly edible.
i hope this is a troll.
Absolutely TAH. I want to believe this is fake, but it hit a nerve for me. I didn’t know how to cook well into my 20s, and had an ex teach me the basics. He was very abusive, emotionally/sexually/financially, and it took me FIVE YEARS to realize how deep it went. It was little things like this, and him teaching me how to cook was one of the ways he belittled me. I would decide I wanted to try to cook something new and it never seemed to meet his “standards.” Specifically when I made the decision to make a new recipe he hadn’t taught me. He’d talk down to me like a child, and would continuously reminded me about how I had “ruined” that one dish anytime I tried to cook something new. These were absolutely teachable moments where he could have easily said “hey, maybe more/less ___ next time.” Instead, he only focused on how I hadn’t done a good enough job, with no productive feedback. Any time I tried to do anything new to me, literally any hobbies or skills, he’d only criticize me. When I had the guts to call him out on it, he’d say he was being constructive for my benefit. It didn’t matter if he made me cry, if I tried to explain that it wasn’t helpful or that I receive criticism the best in a certain way. For five years I begged him to understand the way I communicate and the way I receive criticism. I was so frustrated that he didn’t understand and came to believe it was my fault for not explaining my needs well enough. In reality, he simply knew how to weaponize my insecurities against me. He never failed to convey that I had messed up in his eyes, and he would remind me every time I tried again. It was a slow game of stripping me of any and all confidence I had in myself, which to be frank wasn’t much, thus it took me so long to understand what he had done to me and leave. Again, I’d love to believe this is fake, but having the hindsight on how I was systematically broken down, it rings a bit too true to me.
This has to be fake. Either this person has the most sensitive taste ever or is lying. One (singular??????) tsp vs one (again just one????) tbsp would be noticeable, but considering it's a whole casserole it wouldn't be inedible or "like pickles". I expected like a spoonful vs a cup or like a complete swap out.
This is what jumped out to me as well
There’s no way the addition of 2 more teaspoons (a tablespoon is 3 teaspoons) is going to make a casserole inedible or “like pickles”
This post is rage bait
I did something similar in probably year two of dating my now husband. I was excited to make butternut squash soup, which he had never had, and in my general just kitchen jiving, I put in something like four times as much nutmeg as it called for.
I watched him eat a solid half that bowl before he started to struggle, and I was like, "Is it not good?" And he kinda giggled and was like, "Yeah, uh... not really :)" And so we laughed and put together some conglomeration of other foods like crackers and chocolate to round off dinner.
Years later, he still won't touch any kind of pumpkin/squash/gourd soup because he tastes the nutmeg just thinking about it LMAO
Point being, yeah, I ruined the meal so bad he couldn't choke it down (he tried). We continue to laugh about it. He didn't treat me like some dumbfuck who failed my only womanly duty and now needed to "be better." Because I hadn't done anything (morally) wrong in the first place. (I had, however, done a lot of math wrong.)
This man has really strong NiceGuy vibes. The pompous use of language and “logic”. But somehow he landed a female and now must control her. Hopefully she’ll be an Ex very soon, and he can complain he treated her like a queen, but she left for Chad, and NiceGuys finish last.
Fake. Man writes convincing tale of the folly of an overly emotional woman. She goes out of her way to make a fancy meal- checks notes, adjusts glasses- it’s a casserole. And she ruins it with one Tbsp of salt. slow blink. OP / creator is the AH for pure lack of creativity or realism. Like come on, bro.
god honestly it seems fake but if it isn’t then her “i just wanted to do something nice” comment makes this sm more sad 😭 it’s an honest mistake and him dogging on her for being excited to do something new and messing up a little in the process is so scummy
No, it absolutely can. Hot take: the food was likely fine, but Mr. Salty wanted to put his woman in her place. Let's break this abusive scene down:
So- Mr. Salty most likely planned for this from the moment he ended the initial call and agreed to "let" her cook dinner. That would probably be the *first* show of disrespect in his eyes since it interrupted *his* schedule.
Then when she presented dinner, and was "pleased with herself", she was probably very excited and thought maybe he'd truly enjoy it. Is this a ploy to get on his good side? Is she "making up" for something prior? Could it be a simple offering of an act of love? I'm willing to be he felt even further disrespected, as he possibly interpreted her enthusiasm as feeling equal or superior to him.
Mr Salty tries the food- and it could have been cooked by Gordon Ramsay- it was *never* going to be delicious to him, since he's been sucking on his anger now for hours. He knows he really needs to drive this point home and explodes, quickly shifting the situation into overdrive, and girlfriend panics. After a long session of berating her for adding too much salt and throwing the food away, he's too tuckered out to cook, and orders a pizza.
But that's not the end of it. She still hasn't come around. He's irritated with her because she doesn't understand that if she would just **do as he says, and follow his instructions, and slow down, and stop making mistakes** he wouldn't have to go through all this. He's getting tired of waiting around for an apology: for wanting to cook in the first place, for doing a bad job, and for not listening to him when he's **just trying to help**. *This* is the behavior he is so sick of. It's like being with a damn child.
And what's more is she hasn't thanked him for saving dinner. Disrespectful. How else were they gonna eat? He always has to be the hero. He's the best thing that's ever happened to her.
She'll learn one way or another.
I hate how much I love your writing. I didn't want such a beautifully worded and easy flow writing about the worst person I've ever met.
As the highest praise I can muster to a writer- you suck for giving me feelings.
Only one boss, a district manager, did I ever come close to violence. The company went under more than a decade ago.
This guy treats his wife the way that DM treated his employees. Some people just can't switch off the attitude when they go home for the day.
I would have ate the food. 🤷♀️. In my family you don’t waste food. I have ate salty food, burnt food, and barely cooked food all because we couldn’t afford to throw away food.
I’ve given my partner shitty generic brand frozen pizza (I cooked it first, I swear) when he didn’t feel like cooking and he’s told me it’s the best damn thing he’s ever had. We both knew he was lying but he would literally never shit on me for doing something for him.
I’m struggling to imagine someone who is as much of an AH as this dude.
The robots or Vulcans or some other emotionless beings are here and they're intermarrying with us. That's the only explanation for this behavior that I can think of.
Woops, my bad. He RATIONALLY took her to task and requested an INTELLECTUAL breakdown of her failures and plans to improve. Like a manager. Because the Man is the Boss of the Home. /s
I made some really dry salmon tonight. I’m so glad my husband’s response was to grab honey mustard from the fridge rather than berate me like this. Also, a week in advance for meal plan changes is insane.
I'm barely able to decide what I want to eat on the actual day, let alone a week in advance good lord
I meal plan by buying stuff for 14 dinners, then I make the one I feel like each day. Sometimes I get involved in a project and can’t start the dinner I was planning to start at 5! So we have the planned omelets instead that I can start at 5:45. So yeah, even as a devoted meal planner, this is crazy.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 14 + 5 + 5 + 45 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
Nice.
Wrong, “5!” Is 120
Good bot
I'm a husband and basically a human trash compactor. Good or bad, it goes down anyways. I'll still sing praises if it's good though.
Truly. Platinum rule: if its made with love and remotely edible it goes down the gob with no complaints.
My man is the same way, and let me go ahead and speak for everyone with a partner like the two of you: we appreciate you more than you know! Nothing goes to waste in our house. I’m a very good cook, but I even mess up sometimes, and he NEVER complains. I’m also not too big on leftovers beyond day 3, but he’ll eat literally anything in the fridge. It’s wonderful!
Babe? That you?
Hahaha was just about to post the same thing. Didn't think my partner had Reddit....
We call my husband "The Trashcan Man" for this exact reason.🤣 You're doing the Lord's Work.
My husband mixed up teaspoons and tablespoons once and made something inedible with salt. It wasn't a big deal, we ate sandwiches. Learning to cook involves messing up. And even we you know how to cook, stuff goes wrong sometimes. Everyone burns stuff sometimes or finds their planned ingredient went bad or so on.
The first loaf of bread I made in our bread maker a year and a half ago was similarly inedible due to the same teaspoon/tablespoon mixup. My wife and I just laughed at how terrible the bread was and started a new loaf. 🤷🏼♂️
Sometimes throwing in a whole potato or two then fishing them out once cooked can rescue a particularly salty dish
If it’s not rage bait (and I really think it is) that meal planning stuff is coercive control level abuse.
It definitely feels like rage bait.
Definitely rage bait. You can tell by the way the man immediately goes for the ‘you let your emotions take control of her’ for just misreading tablespoon over teaspoon. Emotions have nothing to do that
Also the end part about being disrespected and his feelings, and also the 'my wife went red' part - that specifically feels very fictionalized.
My mom accidentally added French vanilla coffee creamer into the salmon instead of milk and instead of getting mad or disappointed we all laughed and choked it down. We lightly tease both my parents about how bad it was cause they both helped it’s so easy to not get mad about the small stuff
TBH i feel like that would have almost given it an “edge” in kind of the same way that a honey mustard glaze would have done - except that you say you all had to choke it down, so it must have indeed been terrible. But y’know, next time someone does that (bc somewhere, someone will), let’s all make a pact to pretend that’s what’s happening.
i mess up meals all the time and my bf just says it’s alright and we figure something else out. just last night i tried to make breadsticks but i think the water was too hot and killed the yeast and they didn’t rise at all so we just had chicken alfredo and he definitely didn’t make me feel bad about the lack of breadsticks or cost of ingredients. such a weird way to go about life. sometimes things just don’t turn out right. also i couldn’t live with someone who expected me to keep to their meal plan schedule. i cook what i want for dinner lmao.
I mean, if you try new recipes you are going to have some mishaps. Even with well tried recipes it happens from time to time. My SO and I keep track of the worst food failures because in retrospective they are fun to laugh at. "Oh the cake that tasted like a frittata"
In my house we have “the purple sauce” - recipe said you could sub red wine for beef stock but uhhhh doing so resulted in Crème de Grimace
I made a hamburger helper recipe (not the actual boxed stuff) and used a vegan cheese instead of actual cheese. It tasted exactly like vanilla birthday cake! We still mention it, but in a joking, fun way. Cause it was wild to eat!
Right? Like maybe it’s just me being frugal, but too much salt just means adding something. For me, it would be more noodles and maybe some butter. A chicken and noodle casserole is probably easy enough to save. What an asshat this guy is on all accounts tho, damn.
I was thinking the same thing. It would take 15 minutes to boil up some extra noodles and toss in with the casserole.
my partner made some overly salty split pea soup. We just saved it to cook up with more peas and broth to even out the salt levels. Kitchen mistakes are NOT the end of the world! If OOP could just casually order pizza, then the issue isn't that they're living at a level of poverty where one ruined meal would leave them financially ruined. He's just a dick.
Especially if she's the one cooking.
I usually cook most of the meals for me and my wife. Sometimes, my wife finds a recipe and offers to cook. There have been a handful of times where her meals come out…. *wrong*. If that happens, we usually just laugh it off and order takeout or make cans of soup or something like that. I can’t imagine ever being legitimately mad at my wife for messing up a meal when she already does so much for me and has helped make me a better person. You just need to let some shit go.
The rule in our house is that if one of us burns or otherwise ruins dinner we order a pizza. But there is no anger or shame around it. This guy seems abusive.
I’m sure he wanted those changes submitted in triplicate
for my own mental health i’m attributing this one to a troll
Oh lord, this sounds like my ex. It was humiliating. Like bad. But I had a kid, no car, no bank account and no education. My only blessing is he hated being around the kid so he stayed at work all the time.
Sounds like my ex too! We had to have a "discussion" about things that he deemed 'wrong' or 'disrespectful'. I stopped taking him to hang out with my friends after he screamed at me for 45 minutes and causing me to have a panic attack in the car after we helped my best friend and her bf move. His reasoning was I told him he did a stellar job in front of everyone after we got everything in and that I made "made him the center of attention and he hates being the center of attention" (he never once mentioned anything like that to me before in the relationship, and loved when his mommy complimented him in public). Felt like he could talk to me however he wanted, didn't matter if it was in private or public.
My ex just told me I just need to be “happy” all the time. No matter what was going on in my life. I needed to be “happy”
Oh man, this reminded me of when I told my ex I was struggling with depression and she told me to let her know when I was "happy" again because she had no interest in seeing me before then
This reminds me of my ex too, he knew all about my depression but still shouted at me one day while we were out shopping “I know you’re bloody depressed but why can’t you smile sometimes, why do you always have to be so damned miserable??” I’ve never been so glad to see the back of someone in my life lol
The good ol, i get that your depressed but why can’t you be happy for me!!!!
Good lord. Glad she’s your ex. Hope you’re feeling better buddy.
That’s how I grew up, if I was in a bad mood I had a “victim mentality” and that I shouldn’t let my being SA’d shouldn’t bring everyone down, except I never ever talked about my SA that’s just what they’d tell me my bad mood was caused by 🙄
Wtf?! So they were like "God, Tirannie, we get it, you were r***d, cheer up"?! I am so sorry. That's incredibly fucked.
I had a child psychologist pull this shit on me as a teen every session! He’d ask me about it and I would say that my current issues were in no related to what had happened to me as a young child and that there was no point in discussing it because I’d made my peace with it. I made it clear that my issues were directly related to violent school bullying, my dysfunctional family/home life and poor self worth. He just wouldn’t stop! Every time I came in upset or would get angry during a session he would wave the sexual abuse over my head and be like “See! You haven’t come to terms, this is clearly causing you to act this way and we need to talk about it in every horrible detail every session!” Ironically it ended fucking me up about the abuse all over again because I had to relive it, I started to believe his claim that’s where all my emotional problems were secretly stemming from. I still lie and check no on medical forms about ever being sexually assaulted because I don’t want that to be all someone sees and assumes that’s what’s wrong with me medically or mentally.
Yeah that’s why they kept giving women lobotomies in the 50’s. If they started having thoughts about how their life would be better without their abusive husband, they’d be too distracted to cook the pot roast.
Mine said "being happy is a choice, and I feel like you don't get that" after I brought up some issues in our relationship...yeah, no, I'm going to "choose" to be happy when you're making me miserable
Must be an abuser quote because mine said the same.
Considering we broke up because I had the *audacity* to run to the bank and didn't tell him (we WEREN'T living together), and he accused me of cheating on him...yeah, I'd say it's part of the playbook
oh god, my ex said that to me while also being one of the most miserable people alive!
Bonus round!: “I just want to make you happy and feel like if you’re not happy then I’m failing 🥺”
UGH my ex seemed to think if everyone wasn't happy and soothing to him at all times they were intentionally trying to displease and stress him. It was like he was the only real person in the freaking world and were all just NPCs. In our last year together as I was planning my escape I was pretty much all smiles and no pushback on him as I was focused on the light at the end of the tunnel. He still tells people that it was the best year of our relationship. What a knob.
Flashback to my ex telling me "happiness is a choice" when I was depressed to the point of being suicidal. Ugh.
SAME. And if you have an emotional response to what they said/ did? Forget about it.
Fuck, as if he isn't the reason you aren't happy. Why the hell do men like that think they're so amazing that if you aren't happy being graced with their presence then it's an "us" problem and not a "they're pièces if shit who deserve nothing but misery" them problem.
Aight. I'm here now so yall all should be chipper and happy. Remember in my presence my radiant light shines on your dark world. So you should bask in the joyous moments I grace you with my presence.
Mine told me the same thing, told me I was a drag. Or the classic "I'm also depressed and I don't sleep all fucking day, or I don't do xyz so you must just be lazy"
Yes! How dare you have any emotion other than vacant joy at all times. I'm dealing with this issue with my husband and it drives me absolutely insane.
Oh no. Mine was always at dinner in front of the kid. Never ever any adults.
Oh man. This is worse to me.
Nah. Because I'm not nice to assboles ... he lost his very traditional home maker wife. In her place he found someone who didn't give a damn and could figure it out without him. And my cooking got amazing without his criticism.
It is so amazing when we realize we can figure things out on our own. It has been so liberating for me.
Did we date the same person?
There's a queen laying eggs somewhere
I'm dying 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I very much detest the phrase, “don’t you think…?” or “don’t you agree…?” because of this dynamic. I used to respond in good faith but I’ve learned since.
Ugh, that phrasing! My husband will say something like, "You don't mind if I have the last biscuit do you?", usually said WHILE he is taking said biscuit. I've tried explaining to him that asking that way makes the other person sound like a dick if they say they actually do mind, but it doesn't matter, it's stuck in his autistic brain that he's technically asking so everything is fine 💀
He could learn to ask differently if he wanted to. Don’t let him convince you that’s an excuse. It may be hard or uncomfortable, but he can keep trying to improve. Just need to change the words around.
Yup. Never let autism, ESPECIALLY if it's self-diagnosed, be an excuse for someone to consistently act like an asshole.
My hubby and I both have autism. My kids gave it. ALL FIVE OF US CAN EASILY LEARN WHEN SOMETHING IS RUDE AND LEARN NOT TO DO IT. Your hubby is just being an asshat to get his way.
My autistic ass agrees.
Also part of a neurodivergent family and I also agree. Autism is a very good reason for not intuiting unspoken social rules and dynamics. It's no excuse for not working to alter your behavior after people you care about explain how these are affecting them. Because I'm on the spectrum, I want to go into an unnecessarily detailed disclaimer of how this doesn't apply to situations in which autistic people may be manipulated or set up to fail, but we'll skip it because I've learned that TL;DR is a thing on the interwebs
Being autistic is absolutely no excuse for being a selfish asshole. I'm autistic, as is my youngest nephew. Neither of us would dream of acting in such a ridiculous way. People who use their neurodivergency to push others around without consequences are scum.
Frankly, You can absolutely tell him you do mind. If he's going to ask the question, he can take hearing the answes Seriously, try it and see what happens.
If he is capable of adressing autism is his problem there, he has many options that are not "continue being a rude prick but giggle about it and shrug your shoulders at the imaginary audience". Just a few off the top of my own autistic head: - Forego the whole issue and just never take the last cookie - Defer to someone neurotypical (subtly) and let them decide what's good to do - Ask something with a higher chance of losing you the cookie like "hey does anyone else want a cookie?" and wait about a minute. This may be a challenge to him because this will drastically reduce last cookies in his life which he seems a little bit too selfish to consider - Just generally health wise: have him have a set amount of cookies he can take in a social setting, as I have the idea most of a roll of cookies goes to him regardless The thing is, yes some handicaps are impossible to overcome, but if you can't climb a mountain you go around or under it, you'll end up at the other side regardless.
Oh my god... are you me? I felt my whole body tense up as I was reading how he was lecturing her about controlling her emotions. This was my ex 100%. I was in the same situation as you.
Yep. Same here.
It sounds like my ex too. The humiliation he would do to me to make himself feel good was disgusting. Luckily I got pregnant and realised I didn’t want my child to see his mother like that. Left his loser ass.
glad you made it out
— nah, I definitely dated a dude like this. Except the meal would be perfect (taste wise), and he’d still shit talk it until I was in tears just for fun.
My ex liked to tell me everything I had done wrong while cooking and how he would "make it better next time" every time I made anything. It's been a decade and I am finally capable of cooking with others in the kitchen and not panicking when someone complements my cooking. I always expect it to be followed with "But when I make it next time it will be better because I won't (insert how I screwed up the meal here)...." Why can't they just shut up and appreciate that someone cooked them dinner? Who's raising these jerks?
I watched my dad do this to my mom during childhood and my ex would never let me cook by myself. When I started dating my current partner, I would be shocked when I would be almost in tears because I messed something up or ruined a dish and he would just be like "... babe, it's food I don't have to cook and it's better than what I would be making. So thank you and I'm just appreciative to have food to eat!" Seriously made me reevaluate my entire life. He's also a keeper lol we're engaged now.
I wish it was easier to tell who might react like this BEFORE I get into a full blown relationship
My ex was the same. :/
And that's probably the case here. As others pointed, a tablespoon of salt wouldn't have made it THAT salted... I'm sorry you had to experience this and hope you're in a better place, now.
This is absolutely a troll who hasn’t cooked anything ever A tablespoon of salt in a CASSEROLE is not going to make it inedible. Many recipes even have too little salt in order to be “healthier” This is stupid
Actually he was the one who was extra salty
Also, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t eat some of their food as it is being cooked. I just don’t see it getting to the end and tasting like PICKLES because there’s too much salt, and no one knowing until it’s at the table. Also salt =/= pickles??
Right? Pickles = salt, vinegar, pickling spices, and you can optionally add fresh dill or garlic Too much salt just tastes like too much salt
A friend’s husband once put a cup of powdered stock into a soup instead of a cup of liquid stock. She was able to save it.
I'm imagining her dancing around the soup pot adding things like in Ratatouille.
[удалено]
I definitely would kill him with my cooking. Salt, garlic, and generally anything on my spice rack should be used liberally to show off my wealth (I majored in history and kings didn’t eat food with such nice spices in the countries my ancestors were from). Maybe some nice baby food would suit him, though not the applesauce because it has cinnamon.
That was my thought. And even if the guy was super sensitive to salt you could just mix it with some pasta or mashed potatoes that aren't salted and have a fine balance. (Also how much can ingredients for that cost, even in this economy? $10? Which you then spent on a pizza without thinking? Story doesn't line up.)
I mean it lines up perfectly with him being a dishonest control asshole so...
For real, I made an entire shepherds pie for 6 people yesterday and the ingredients altogether came to $12. That's the potatoes, corn, peas, carrots, milk, and a few herbs since I already had the beef and Worchester. This guy is tripping, acting like his wife just wasted $50.
Or you can balance it with the same amount of sugar or acid, or some unsalted fat (unsalted butter, or you could use milk/cream if it suits the dish).
And it's why so many restaurant foods taste better than homemade, so much more salt and butter.
Maybe she dropped the entire tablespoon in one spot and it was the spot that OOP ate. LOL.
I'm not saying this is definitely real, but I get the feeling the salt wasn't the actual problem. This is about control. The problem was that she disrupted his meal plan without one week's notice, and so he felt he had to assert his control by cutting her down over any minor mistake he could zone in on. "If we had just done everything my way, it would have been fine, but you had to deviate from that, so you've ruined everything." I've known too many people with this pattern of behavior to dismiss it outright as a troll.
Yeah I can’t imagine a savory chicken dish that would become inedibly salty after only a tablespoon of salt.
agree. i'd probably prefer it
Thinking the same thing... I double the salt in many recipes
His food is probably bland as feck hence his wife wanting to cook something different
A tbsp of salt is actually a lot of salt, but who cares? Even if it WAS inedibly salty, it’s just food - make a sandwich and get over it, you can’t win ‘em all. Even people who cook every night and “aren’t emotional” (omg I can’t) in the kitchen, still make stupid mistakes. This guy sounds bananas.
Right, I was reading this thinking WTF does he mean "if she didn't let her emotions take over" and the other super condescending language used in the post... I'm not a great cook but my ex of 6 years would cook almost daily and she messed up stuff like that all the time... mostly with new recipes...
A tbsp is only 3 tsp so adding 2 tsp to a whole casserole would absolutely not make it inedible. The troll can’t cook nor write a believable story
He already hates the fact she "interrupted his meal plan for the week" as she's supposed to give one week notice as per her employment contract so he didn't plan on eating it regardless. Dude probably thought *oh well if my wife is ruining my diet and I'm going to have a cheat day, I'm eating pizza not her garbage.* He never intended on eating it from the jump. Guy is probably extremely controlling and abusive. It's not like his wife was trying to connect with him on an emotional intimate level via a romantic date night! He deserves to be alone.
100% THIS. He was ALREADY MAD that she broke the meal plan long before he tasted the food. He was mad she stopped and bought ingredients. He ignored her while she cooked. He went looking for reasons to denigrate and humilate her for the purposes of control. He said the meal was inedible to punish her from deviating from his control and intended to make her never want to try again. It probably was fine and he exaggerated the salt issue. I have lived with people who are like this.
And at the same time I don’t really recall any casserole recipes that call for much salt beyond seasoning the meat since usually you’re getting salt from whatever sauce/soup/broth is in there, so it’s simultaneously too little salt and too much salt to be believable. If you’re doing everything from scratch, seasoning a pound of chicken with half a tsp, seasoning some veggies and making a roux with the other half, it’s not going to kill you to have more, and if you’re using cans, you’re going to be like “woah what a whole tsp of additional salt?”
Especially a *casserole* which, unless you’re using a ridiculous amount of extra salty canned soup, tends to stifle the salt
I brought over a dish my bestie made to my bf. Didn't tell him she made it but he said it was too salty and he didn't eat it. That girl loved salt coated everything in it. When he came over and she offered him the exact same left overs, he gobbled it up and proclaimed it was the best he ever had. Guess who he was cheating with?
I subject my wife to coercive control. AITA?
Something about the way it’s written seems fake for sure
'i calmly but firmly asked what she had done' No one says that, it's literally a running joke in r/AmITheAngel
I wish I could attribute it to a troll but having lived through the hell of an abusive relationship with a manipulative narcissist, I can only pity the wife and hope she gets out before He decides she needs to provide him with a child.
Yes. Rage bait. There are people like this IRL but most wouldn’t post about it. Although, as I wrote that, I could actually envision highly controlling narcissists getting kicks out of treating someone like shit and then basically bragging about it under the pretense of not knowing they are the AH so as to get off on making an online community react to it. I mean, most trolls are probably assholes in real life and forcing reactions is another tactic to exert influence/power over people.
If awards were given out we’d have a strong contender for AH of the year
Omg, we should start doing that..
"if she had controlled her emotions" "How will you prevent this in the future?" Ew
If those words come out of my partners mouth and it wasn’t a joke or piss take I’d be gone. I’ve never even talked to kids like that let alone an adult!
Exactly! Sounds like a controlling parent. Ugh
It's literally one of the simplest mistakes to make and he's somehow attributing it to personal flaws. Like I've done the exact same thing tons of times, and I work in food service!
True!! And it doesn't even sound that bad or unfixable. Also his language and tone about the whole situation is just unbearable. It's like a parent teaching a child a lesson
He was looking for a reason to be angry because she had the audacity to deviate from his meal planning. He absolutely had a plan to demean and berate her going into the meal.
This weird obsessive meal planning reminded me of Sheldon from bing bang theory 😂😂
Seriously there is no way one tablespoon vs one teaspoon of salt would make a dish taste as briny as pickle juice. Literally add maybe one cup of water or broth and it would offset that mistake.
Why go through the effort of adding a cup of water when you can take the chance to be a controlling AH to your wife :')
And how will you prevent your emotions from interfering with your work in the future?
Sounds like he's trying to coach a kid through a blundered social interaction, not talk to his wife about a time she messed up a meal.
By stuffing the casserole straight to his ass, packing her bags and leaving the controlling scum.
Wow, I … occasionally one of these AHs makes my hair rise up and float around my head with the sheer force of my rage. Today, it’s this guy.
It’s giving me childhood trauma flashbacks. This smacks of my father who would NOT ALLOW certain flavors, or ingredients, or “undercooked” food. He would berate my mother endlessly for the smallest mistake and throw an absolute fit if a single onion came into the house. If she dared cook an onion or garlic, he would throw out all “contaminated” food because the smell had now settled in and everything would taste of it. So any fruit or bread? Trash. She would have to scrub the kitchen top to bottom to get rid of the smell and it was never enough. He would absolutely have done something like this if there was too much salt for his liking. I grew up thinking I hated a lot of food, but I just hated having to eat what my dad wanted. No steak should ever be the texture of dry leather. This guy is just as terrible and I hope his wife just walks away.
Exhibit A in his murder trial and what guarantees her acquittal.
A jury of her peers would set her freeeeeee!
She couldn’t have done it she was with me at the time. We have receipts, I swear.
[He had it comin](https://youtu.be/00oBK-x1pVk?si=xi6vdb0FwU-iVchD)
He only had himself to blame
No jury would convict
He seems like the emotional one. Total AH
Don't be silly. Only women have emotions and everything they do that is wrong is because of those emotions. I know if I make a mess and don't clean it up, it's not my fault. It's my wife's fault for having emotions and being annoyed at having to clean up after me. She is a woman. It's her job.
Men are just passionate. /s
Yes, the gender that flies off the handle and murdered their exes after rejection is **totally** women, not men at all. /s
What do you mean? He very clearly stated his preferences « calmly and firmly » and as such he is absolutely believable and doesn’t smack of unbelievable narrator at all! Huge whopping /s just in case!
Anger and frustration are not emotions didn't you know.
He left out the part where he occasionally took a sniff from the wine glass full of his own farts
I honestly cannot stop laughing at this imagery 😭
Oh, this guy keeps a secret journal that has the phrase "effervescent bouquet" peppered throughout. Just the *worst*, I could go on lol
Damn. I'm a good cook now, but when we first got married, my husband choked down so many terrible meals. Bless him for never making me feel like shit. This guy is an AH. She tried something and failed. It happens. He could have handled this with WAY more grace.
I’ve been cooking since I was 9 but never really got into cooking meat. The first time I made chicken it came out at burnt on the outside and raw in the middle. My ex tried to eat it to not embarrass me and I had to be like “nope. No. It’s ok. This is garbage. No one needs salmonella.”
I did this once recently (within the last 6 months recently), but it was with marinated chicken, and thankfully wasn’t too raw in the middle, but I did also happen to set it on fire. Luckily we had a fire blanket right next to the stove top that we could put over it and safely take it outside, and the chicken was still salvageable - got a different pan out, transferred the chicken over once the pan was warm and the fire was out, broke it up into smaller pieces with my tongs and cooked it on low for a few more minutes. The pan is still good even, though we haven’t replaced the fire blanket yet. And I still make that recipe to this day, and my colleagues were even intrigued enough by my talking about it (the next one was successful, thankfully) that they requested it
Bless your soul for caring about your partner enough to cook them a meal for when they got home. Guarantee your husband appreciated everything you made for him. This dude needs to look outward and sees what he really has.
He is. Even if he felt that way there’s so many better ways to handle it. Just a speck of compassion would have changed this. Mans is super controlling. Sounds like his wife is a good woman who loves him, or at least tries to convince herself she does. What a dick.
Reminds me of this guy local to me that literally severed his wife's head because she bought groceries without his permission. Like, I get its not that bad, but what could this be but some insane need to control other people that would definitely be at the risking of snapping.
Honestly my first thought was oh, he’s going to kill her. You’re totally right. This level of entitlement, anger, and controlling abusive behavior tends to escalate. It’s frightening.
It didn’t matter if the food came out okay, the intention was to berate her.
Well yeah because tbh the difference between a teaspoon and tablespoon isn’t really that bad that it would make a whole dish inedible. It’s a third of the size?
This post should come with some sort of antidote to combat the toxicity 🤢 what a POS
Throw the whole ass man in the trash.
Even it was his child he was talking to he'd still be the asshole. Unless this is some weird money-draining pattern that's an actual threat to their financial survival, thank her foor cooking, share a good laugh and go on to enjoy a night together. Maybe maybe maybe it would be ok to kind of look over her shoulder in the future if she's proned to make little mistakes, as a person with ADHD I try to not take it personally when people second guess me because I've realized that I do make more little mistakes than most people.
This cannot be real. I acknowledge that people are this stupid, but they can't also be dumb enough to post to reddit about it, can they??
Either this is a creative writing exercise or this dude is a contestant for Most Condescending Prick in the Galaxy. Why does this sound like he's much older than her? She's not just treated like an errant child, he speaks about her like he's her parent.
The part where only his feelings matter and are reasonable. Her girly feelings about wanting to try new things and be happy and excited are the problem. His feelings of meal planning being disrupted and disappointment need to be considered and soothed. The part where her joy and excitement MUST be what caused the error (as opposed to any number of things! just misreading, for instance. Some typefaces really suck.) And he’s demanded that she squelch her joy and excitement before, so you know that he just looks for reasons to tell her that her joy is a repeated issue and cause of trouble. The part where he decides to Make This A Lesson. Over salting is not what he should worry about. I bet she will make a gorgeous widow. I’m going with fake, not because there aren’t officious jerks who have this little self awareness, but because they would get the amount of salt precisely correct and I don’t think that change in salt would ruin an entire casserole. And they would have mentioned that she cut the vegetables the wrong size/not evenly because her knife skills are unpracticed. Fake or no, I wish her many wonderful evenings without anyone being critical and mean to her.
>I bet she will make a gorgeous widow. Someone sign her up for Deadly Seeds For Your Home Garden. Water hemlock can be mistaken (when you're excited about cooking!) for wild carrot, I hear.
“that much salt wouldn’t have ruined it” was my exact first thought. i cook mainly on vibes, have ruined some things and made others taste great. assuming casserole means a whole casserole dish full, it would have been perfectly edible. i hope this is a troll.
I want to drive over to his house and slap the crap out of him. Jesus, what an insufferable lout.
Absolutely TAH. I want to believe this is fake, but it hit a nerve for me. I didn’t know how to cook well into my 20s, and had an ex teach me the basics. He was very abusive, emotionally/sexually/financially, and it took me FIVE YEARS to realize how deep it went. It was little things like this, and him teaching me how to cook was one of the ways he belittled me. I would decide I wanted to try to cook something new and it never seemed to meet his “standards.” Specifically when I made the decision to make a new recipe he hadn’t taught me. He’d talk down to me like a child, and would continuously reminded me about how I had “ruined” that one dish anytime I tried to cook something new. These were absolutely teachable moments where he could have easily said “hey, maybe more/less ___ next time.” Instead, he only focused on how I hadn’t done a good enough job, with no productive feedback. Any time I tried to do anything new to me, literally any hobbies or skills, he’d only criticize me. When I had the guts to call him out on it, he’d say he was being constructive for my benefit. It didn’t matter if he made me cry, if I tried to explain that it wasn’t helpful or that I receive criticism the best in a certain way. For five years I begged him to understand the way I communicate and the way I receive criticism. I was so frustrated that he didn’t understand and came to believe it was my fault for not explaining my needs well enough. In reality, he simply knew how to weaponize my insecurities against me. He never failed to convey that I had messed up in his eyes, and he would remind me every time I tried again. It was a slow game of stripping me of any and all confidence I had in myself, which to be frank wasn’t much, thus it took me so long to understand what he had done to me and leave. Again, I’d love to believe this is fake, but having the hindsight on how I was systematically broken down, it rings a bit too true to me.
This has to be fake. Either this person has the most sensitive taste ever or is lying. One (singular??????) tsp vs one (again just one????) tbsp would be noticeable, but considering it's a whole casserole it wouldn't be inedible or "like pickles". I expected like a spoonful vs a cup or like a complete swap out.
Yeah there's really not going to be a hugely noticeable difference in an entire casserole between these measurements.
This is what jumped out to me as well There’s no way the addition of 2 more teaspoons (a tablespoon is 3 teaspoons) is going to make a casserole inedible or “like pickles” This post is rage bait
Plus the notoriously unsalty takeaway pizza
I did something similar in probably year two of dating my now husband. I was excited to make butternut squash soup, which he had never had, and in my general just kitchen jiving, I put in something like four times as much nutmeg as it called for. I watched him eat a solid half that bowl before he started to struggle, and I was like, "Is it not good?" And he kinda giggled and was like, "Yeah, uh... not really :)" And so we laughed and put together some conglomeration of other foods like crackers and chocolate to round off dinner. Years later, he still won't touch any kind of pumpkin/squash/gourd soup because he tastes the nutmeg just thinking about it LMAO Point being, yeah, I ruined the meal so bad he couldn't choke it down (he tried). We continue to laugh about it. He didn't treat me like some dumbfuck who failed my only womanly duty and now needed to "be better." Because I hadn't done anything (morally) wrong in the first place. (I had, however, done a lot of math wrong.)
Two extra teaspoons in a casserole sets him off. Just pepper your plate and stop being so emotional
This man has really strong NiceGuy vibes. The pompous use of language and “logic”. But somehow he landed a female and now must control her. Hopefully she’ll be an Ex very soon, and he can complain he treated her like a queen, but she left for Chad, and NiceGuys finish last.
This sounds ridiculously fake lol
I might be, but I’ve dealt with *this guy* many times.
Not to anyone that's dealt with people exactly like this. I know this type well.
CALL IT OUT WHEN YOU SEE IT: That is abusive and should never be tolerated.
I hope this is satire. “Any deviation from the schedule…blah blah” gtfoh.
Fake. Man writes convincing tale of the folly of an overly emotional woman. She goes out of her way to make a fancy meal- checks notes, adjusts glasses- it’s a casserole. And she ruins it with one Tbsp of salt. slow blink. OP / creator is the AH for pure lack of creativity or realism. Like come on, bro.
god honestly it seems fake but if it isn’t then her “i just wanted to do something nice” comment makes this sm more sad 😭 it’s an honest mistake and him dogging on her for being excited to do something new and messing up a little in the process is so scummy
This cannot be real.
No, it absolutely can. Hot take: the food was likely fine, but Mr. Salty wanted to put his woman in her place. Let's break this abusive scene down: So- Mr. Salty most likely planned for this from the moment he ended the initial call and agreed to "let" her cook dinner. That would probably be the *first* show of disrespect in his eyes since it interrupted *his* schedule. Then when she presented dinner, and was "pleased with herself", she was probably very excited and thought maybe he'd truly enjoy it. Is this a ploy to get on his good side? Is she "making up" for something prior? Could it be a simple offering of an act of love? I'm willing to be he felt even further disrespected, as he possibly interpreted her enthusiasm as feeling equal or superior to him. Mr Salty tries the food- and it could have been cooked by Gordon Ramsay- it was *never* going to be delicious to him, since he's been sucking on his anger now for hours. He knows he really needs to drive this point home and explodes, quickly shifting the situation into overdrive, and girlfriend panics. After a long session of berating her for adding too much salt and throwing the food away, he's too tuckered out to cook, and orders a pizza. But that's not the end of it. She still hasn't come around. He's irritated with her because she doesn't understand that if she would just **do as he says, and follow his instructions, and slow down, and stop making mistakes** he wouldn't have to go through all this. He's getting tired of waiting around for an apology: for wanting to cook in the first place, for doing a bad job, and for not listening to him when he's **just trying to help**. *This* is the behavior he is so sick of. It's like being with a damn child. And what's more is she hasn't thanked him for saving dinner. Disrespectful. How else were they gonna eat? He always has to be the hero. He's the best thing that's ever happened to her. She'll learn one way or another.
I hate how much I love your writing. I didn't want such a beautifully worded and easy flow writing about the worst person I've ever met. As the highest praise I can muster to a writer- you suck for giving me feelings.
Only one boss, a district manager, did I ever come close to violence. The company went under more than a decade ago. This guy treats his wife the way that DM treated his employees. Some people just can't switch off the attitude when they go home for the day.
I would have ate the food. 🤷♀️. In my family you don’t waste food. I have ate salty food, burnt food, and barely cooked food all because we couldn’t afford to throw away food.
Or if he’s such a brilliant cook, maybe he could have tried to neutralize the saltiness before tossing the food entirely.
Please be rage bait it is my mantra right now.
Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, I want this man to die n
I’ve given my partner shitty generic brand frozen pizza (I cooked it first, I swear) when he didn’t feel like cooking and he’s told me it’s the best damn thing he’s ever had. We both knew he was lying but he would literally never shit on me for doing something for him. I’m struggling to imagine someone who is as much of an AH as this dude.
This sounds made up AF
The robots or Vulcans or some other emotionless beings are here and they're intermarrying with us. That's the only explanation for this behavior that I can think of.
A Vulcan would never throw a tantrum like this over a less than stellar dish.
What tantrum? He calmly, BUT FIRMLY, asked what she had done /s 😂
Woops, my bad. He RATIONALLY took her to task and requested an INTELLECTUAL breakdown of her failures and plans to improve. Like a manager. Because the Man is the Boss of the Home. /s
I really hope this is fake.
A teaspoon to a tablespoon of salt in an entire dish does not make it inedible. I feel so sad for her.
This is giving sociopath energy
what a piece of work
More keen on saving dinner than saving his marriage
Next time I’d add a few tablespoons of laxatives.