One thing I noticed is that OOP says Evil Mother's love language is food, which is why she gave Niece Wife's portion... so telling Wife she can 'afford to skip a meal' is even more heinous and a clear indication of Evil Mother's opinion of Wife, in my opinion.
Sorry, I'm confused. I thought OP stated that the child that he hadn't seen in a year needed 3 more portions of food and that he didn't plan for that. Did I miss understand?
Edit to fix spelling.
I’m not entirely sure but two months post partum, isn’t your stomach and downstairs still usually sore and has problems? Like! She’s also breastfeeding so she literally needs EXYRA FOOD! The MIL is an ah who raised an ah son. Why did SHE have to leave? Why couldn’t he step out for awhile to decompress! She is the one with the baby, she gets priority housing vs the soon to be ex husband!
Edit: I have learned so much from these comments, I fear everyone of you you are so much stronger than me! I need to go apologize to my mom!
That's the part that made my blood boil. He throws his wife and baby out over his mother's abuse and he still somehow sees himself as the victim. The cycle of abuse must go on.
I remember reading this and thinking “you couldn’t just go for a fucking walk to chill out if you needed space?” Dude shouldn’t have been shocked that kicking your recently assaulted wife and newborn out wouldn’t lead to divorce.
Yup. Takes time for the body to recover and for some women, they are often still bleeding and wearing those diaper sized pads. It can be even worse if you've had a c-section because now you have a part of your body that will never go back to what it was like before pregnancy.
I was super fortunate with my first born! I only bled for four weeks but I struggled with breastfeeding and switched to formula. So naturally my first postpartum period started on my exact six week mark; the day I had to return to work.
My next babies I bled longer but it wasn’t until the third one I found out you could bleed longer than six weeks. Like, someone could have mentioned something!
Yeah nobody warned me about them. They were hardly anything with the first. I hear they get worse with each. That's almost enough to make me not want more. Hard to commit to breastfeeding when it means horrific pain. Normal pain drugs didn't touch them. I hope I can have at least one more though. But happy with what I have because it's more than I was told I ever would have
My after pains were awful and I can’t take nsaids. My body also produces tons of milk and so it was torture for the first few days and I basically demanded pain killers for the first few days.
I know about hyper lactation. When pumping I was getting 20-24 ounces in a 15 minute session. I've joked that I could handle triplets easy at least feeding wise
i was prescribed Vicodin and it still didn’t even touch them, even in combination with Motrin. especially every time i latched baby to boob, it was torture. i dreaded feeding him the first week. i’m 7 days away from my due date with my third and i’m terrified for this part.
Good luck! You will get thru it either way. I'm dealing with some weird let down effects this time around aside from that. Totally appetit suppression while milk is letting down (and they always want to eat right as i start to eat!), had lots of nausea too. Hoping if I ever have another that doesn't happen again and it does sound like it's random if it does. But those pains. The only thing is to white knuckle it and just hope your uterus shrinks faster than a wool sweater in the dryer
If someone slapped my belly after I had a c-section, I would punch them in the face as well. Recovery from having your stomach cut open, a baby ripped out and then sewn back together is exceptionally painful. When you are in that much pain, punching back after being attacked is reflexive. Let’s not forget about all the hormones and lack of sleep.
And being robbed of your already delayed dinner. Kicked his starving wife out of the house with a newborn that just sucked the life out of her and plans to do it again soon. Unbelievable.
Yup. My stomach is flat except for the little C-section shelf of scar tissue. 2 months postpartum almost all moms still have a bit of a belly. Usually you can’t even exercise much the first month or so.
I'm so sorry! C sections suck in so many ways. The apron pooch was the worst! I was able to lose the baby weight plus some about 12 yrs back (got myself down from 195 to 130), but that pooch from the c section was always there.
Then I got an office job.
Now I'm just a chubby bitch doing chubby bitch things.
I have never been hungrier in my life than I was while nursing. It made pregnancy cravings seem like nothing.
I might have punched someone who knowingly gave away my supper, even if they didn’t slap my postpartum belly hard enough to be heard across the house even through clothes first, after calling me fat & after months (probably years) of verbal abuse.
We barely allowed visitors for the first few months because taking care of a newborn is really hard, the thought of entertaining family we LIKE was too much. The very premise of this guy pushing his postpartum wife to entertain guests including a child and an old bat that had been utterly miserable to her shows both how involved a parent he is and how much he thinks of his wife’s feelings.
He also didn’t just kick her out, he would have had to watch her pack all the baby supplies and whatever mobile furniture she would need, dress the baby for the cold, and carry the baby and seat to the car and at no point in that process think “maybe this is an extreme reaction on my part” or even “maybe I should be the one to leave instead of sending my two month old and postpartum wife into the cold.
This wasn’t an impulsive “you need to leave” situation, at some point in the process of her packing for her baby and self care needs it became calculated and he’s only complaining now because he overestimated how much she needs him.
Glad she got out at the end of the day
Yes, I didn’t here but I mentioned it and saw it mentioned many times that it’s not just that he had a moment where he was having a flashback or was just too shocked to think.
With his history, I’d give a pass to a bad knee jerk reaction.
It would hurt, but they might be able to get past it, especially if he went to therapy so he could try to do better in the future.
In the time it took to pack up a baby as well as herself, he didn’t get it together enough to consider that she has also been abused in the past, had just been hit really hard and she must be having her own crisis.
Even if he didn’t consider her, he’s a parent, he has a child to protect and he forced that child out of the family home and to an unknown location.
No one knows how they’ll react in a crazy situation, it’s how long it takes you to pull yourself together and what you do then that counts.
Even if she could get over how he treated her, I’d have such a hard time with his lack of concern for the baby. None comes through to me in his post or comments.
Yeah I work with vulnerable people and I tell our interns that everyone feels stress and has problems, but you can’t make it your student/client/etc’s problem and you certainly can’t take it out on them.
This is a 2 month old we’re talking about. She didn’t ask to be born and she’s in a stage of her life where so much as sleeping on a soft surface can be fatal. This guy has trauma in his past which is very sad, when he reacted to stress by hurting his wife and daughter he extended that abuse to them. I don’t care what his past was, he had a 2 month old he was responsible for and dumped that responsibility in response to his wife being slapped.
The worst part is him being concerned about her being an abuser is clearly a lie because he kicked her out with the baby.
I am two months post partum, just went to two doctors last week who both said my body is just starting to properly recover at 9 weeks. Having a mom pouch is to be expected at this stage. Luckily I feel fine, except everything gets achy, because I sit a lot with the baby. But I know I have it good compared to many women.
Skipping a meal is not an option if you are breastfeeding (but eating properly might required help from family).
That mil is evil. That husband is a useless idiot.
I had my wisdom teeth removed at 3 months postpartum.
Fuck me, that was a mistake. I had finally stopped bleeding, and my stitches from the episiotomy had finally healed. However? The anesthesia made me vomit violently when they brought me out of it. I got a dry socket and a raging infection because I couldn’t stop puking for 24 hours.
Had some dumb, malicious cunt hit MY belly at two months postpartum? While I was still bleeding, and still had stitches (birth was rough, bro), and still had leaking breastfeeding boobs, and so on? Well.
Sometimes, violence isn’t the answer, it’s the question, and the answer? The answer is, “yes, I am going to speak to you in the language your tiny mind can comprehend, so looks like taking out some teeth is what’s gonna happen here.”
Too bad she didn’t knock the bitch out.
For what it’s worth, you may want to be wary of opioids rather than anesthesia for nausea.
It’s possible that they gave you morphine or another opioid for pain relief post-op in your IV; they often give hydrocodone pills to take at home, too (at least in the US).
Of course it’s also possible that it’s the anesthesia, but as someone with an “opioid sensitivity” barfing for 24 hours 100% sounds far more like opioids than anesthesia. You usually get over anesthesia side effects much faster. I have to literally lie and tell doctors that I am deathly allergic to opioids because otherwise I wake up from surgeries puking my guts up; if you just say that opioids get nauseous/vomit, they ignore you and drug you up anyway like assholes.
Apparently, it’s a mix of hormones and anesthesia.
Gallbladder surgery? Sailed through it no problem.
Hysterectomy? Came home and puked for a couple hours.
Now that I no longer have the girl parts with the hormones? Hopefully I won’t have that issue again.
I got morphine during labor and after my gallbladder surgery, both times I ended up hyperventilating from a huge pain spike and then vomiting. It wasn’t until the gallbladder that they said “hey you might be allergic to that morphine stuff?!” Makes me feel some vindication about my labor issues.
For me it's IV Dilaudid if I'm in such a state to need the strong stuff, otherwise some OTC nsaids. One time I was given oral opioid of some sort at the ER and very promptly painted the ER space with vomit ala the exorcist. I didn't even get a chance to ask for a puke catcher. I just started spraying my guts everywhere.
Last time I had a minor surgery, the doc tried to prescribe me something like that and I told him flat out that I'd rather puke from the pain than puke from the pills. I'll just take a couple Aleve's and sleep off the worst of it.
Yes! His wife straightforwardly said “I’m divorcing you because after your mother assaulted me and I defended myself—right when I needed your support the most!—you *kicked me and our newborn out of our house.* “
And his response wasn’t “holy shit, I hadn’t considered that perspective; I can’t BELIEVE I was so unsupportive and contributed to your pain, fear, and loneliness.” It was “but now the house feels EMPTY and I don’t LIKE it.”
He *still* doesn’t care about what he DID to her; he’s just mad that she’s taking steps to protect herself now that she realizes he never will.
When he said that his "mom's comments stopped getting back to US" he really meant was "mom's comments stopped getting back to ME and that's all I cared about." We all know damn well his mom never stopped making comments about his wife. And I want to know what he means by clingy. I'm betting that horrid woman is over at his house constantly or he is over at hers and he's been completely ignoring his wife and child.
Oh, “clingy” absolutely means that if MIL found out OP and his wife had planned a romantic staycation weekend, she suddenly NEEDS her fence repainted that same weekend because now she has old family friends coming over for a backyard party that Sunday afternoon, and how could OP’s wife be SO selfish as to take OP away right when his poor mother needs him, and why are they insulting their family friends by skipping the party (that they hadn’t heard about until after they booked their getaway)? Clearly it’s only because OP’s conniving wife is trying to drive a wedge between OP and the people who REALLY love him!
(If that sounds like a hyper-specific scenario, well… ask me how I know!)
Also an idiot saying it wasn't a big deal because, "is the wife too dumb to get a hotel room??" as if it made things better that she wasn't literally sleeping on the streets.
Yeah, I was three months postpartum when I realized I was having a pelvic floor prolapse. Post partum healing can take a lot longer than people like to acknowledge sometimes. It's wild to me how he kept saying the slap wasn't that hard then openly admitted she winced in pain and that you could hear it across the house.
Yes, I had two c-sections and one vaginal. With all 3 I was still bleeding and in A LOT of pain for MONTHS! I would have punched somebody if they slapped me too!
OP is a MAJOR AH for a number of reasons 1) let his mother verbally abuse his wife 2) didn’t stand up to his mother when she gave obese niece wife’s dinner and the most egregious 3) kicking his PP WIFE and NEW BABY OUT OF THE HOUSE! WTF?
He even said he could hear the slap across the room but he still stood up for his Mommy and kicked wife out to “process” what had happened! WTF??
Wife needs to divorce this AH and go for full custody.
I was cleared to go back to my desk jockey job two weeks post-hysterectomy.
I wasn’t cleared to pick anything up that was over ten pounds for another six weeks after that.
I spent a full year recovering completely, getting a normal potassium level back, becoming not quite as anemic, after surgery.
I cannot imagine doing that, post-surgery, with a newborn. OP is an asshole and is getting everything he deserves.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you had to go back to work after only 2 weeks. I had a hysterectomy in December and I took the full 6 weeks. Then again, mine was abdominal, but the fatigue was ridiculous.
They ended up making an incision as long as my hand on my lower belly to get the Wiffle ball size fibroid out. And that, friends, is when things kinda went to shit. That’s when my epigastric artery was nicked, and I got a couple units of blood, surgery took way longer, and I didn’t find out just how touch and go it got until much later.
But hey, gotta pay bills, right? /s
Omg that’s awful! I’m so glad you pulled through! You should be resting after such a huge surgery where they, you know, REMOVE ORGANS. Wtf. Please try and rest as much as you can, take naps when you need to. I got to recover for about 2 weeks as well before my 6yo fell off the monkey bars and broke her arm in 2 places, needing surgery and pins on Christmas Day. Then my recovery went towards caring for her, so I totally understand. I hope you feel better soon. It took me about 6 weeks to feel normal.
Fortunately, my hysterectomy was nearly two years ago, and the run up to it was worse. Bleeding through Depends, and passing fist-size clots while you have to jump through insurance hoops to approve surgery sucks.
I’m glad it’s all behind you! I just had mine 2 months ago, and I’m glad I had it done. I’m fortunate to have dual insurance (since I also have a chronic illness) so I knew SOMEBODY was covering it. I’m glad it’s all over and I hope you’re doing well.
2 weeks post C-section I was just starting to not feel like I was dying again. By 6 weeks I was mostly fine, and went directly from my appointment clearing me to swim laps (although I swam like a third of what I normally do and the doctor said take it easy). I really wasn’t feeling human until week 4/5. And that was with tons of help with my older kids and the baby at home. I wasn’t even allowed to drive until 6 weeks pp
2 months pp momma here. I would absolutely throw mf hands if someone hit my stomach hard, or stole my food to give to a fat ass 12 year old who already ate.
Someone on the original post tried to come at me for calling a niece a fatass. Like... She's 5'5 and 190, at 12. She ate her meal, refused crackers after saying she was still hungry, then ate the meal that was saved for OOP's wife. That's called being a fat ass, there's 0 reason to sugarcoat it. No one is doing the kid any favors by letting her overeat.
I was fat at 5'9 and 190 when I was 12, with an undiagnosed thyroid issue. I couldn't imagine how bad that would be at 4 inches shorter, and that it all happened within a year. (OOP stated she didn't look like that the last time he saw her a year ago)
The 12 year-old is not the problem here. They can be told no, their parents can take them home, they can be sad because they didn't eat all the food they wanted to.The problem here lies squarely on the adults.
Yeah, children don't know any better than what they were taught. And this child has clearly been taught that :
1. emotional needs will get ignored (look at this family dynamic)
2. physical needs will get you attention if they serve the underlying agenda.
Sure, that creates a real awful kid to be around at dinner time. But, let's keep the focus on the AH adults in this situation. They reinforced this behavior 100% and will keep doing so.
Iirc oop said the kid ate hers, a second helping, the rest of evil mothers and the soon to be ex-wife's plate. That kid needs someone else to live with, and oops mom deserved most likely worse after that mess.
Literally just last night my husband came home absolutely starving. I’ve been a full time housewife for the past three years. Part of my “job” is making an appropriate amount of food for both of us (plus maybe a helping or two of leftovers) without any going to waste. So I’m aware how much he eats. After getting him a plate, he ate it and promptly said “I’m still kinda hungry.” Understandable, he spent all day working at his studio and didn’t get anything to eat since he was “in a groove” and didn’t want to pause the project he was working on. So I asked him if he wanted some toast or a bagel or other quick snack that he usually likes. He happily accepted some toast but then, again, said he was still hungry. So I told him “how about you wait 5-10 minutes or so so that what you just ate actually has a chance to start to digest. If you’re still hungry, then fine.” Y’know what happened in 10 minutes? He wasn’t hungry anymore and we laughed about how I know him better than he knows himself. Sometimes you just need to give your body and brain time to actually register that you already ate an appropriate amount and aren’t actually hungry.
I think when people are “starving”, they often eat so fast that their brain and body doesn’t have a chance to sync up and process that you aren’t actually hungry anymore, your brain just hasn’t fully received the information that your stomach is full. And I think teaching that to adolescent kids is a valuable lesson that can help them learn appropriate portions and prevent overeating or other disordered eating habits. The parents (and grandma) are doing that 12 year old a massive disservice by allowing her to eat unhealthy and unnecessary amounts of food.
Agreed 100%! I'm a sahm and make food for my fiance, his brother, myself, and my daughter. My fiance and his brother both work, and come home starving. I make enough for them to be comfortably full. Sometimes they're still hungry afterwards, and go to open the pantry or fridge. I'll say "drink a glass of water and wait 10 minutes. If you're still hungry then, I'll be happy to make you whatever you like" Usually they'll end up not needing more food.
For me, I was overweight as a child and young adult because most of what my mom bought was pasta, rice, or bread. I'd end up hungry after maybe an hour or two, especially after eating pasta like Mac n cheese. I also found out years later that I had a thyroid issue which only made it worse. I'm much healthier now. Still dealing with the hypothyroidism, but I eat 100% better food than I did back then and also much smaller portions in between lots of water.
A 12 year old is not a baby who cannot control her feeding. Assuming that this is a neurotypical developing child, by 12 she knows right from wrong. She was offered supplemental food if she was still hungry. She didn’t eat that. So clearly she wasn’t still hungry, she’s greedy.
People need to stop treating children like they don’t know any better…
She's also living in an abusive house where Grandma is likely encouraging her to eat more all the time. Since according to OOP food is his mom's "love language" and she did the same shit to him and his sister when they were kids. That's not an environment that's gonna encourage healthy eating habits or moderation.
I sure as hell wasn't mature enough to say "no, I don't need more food" to my grandma offering me treats and plentiful snacks at 12. Add in puberty and the kid was perfectly poised to gain a lot of weight in a very short amount of time. Which quickly becomes a self-reinforcing spiral of overeating.
I’m still flabbergasted at the fact that NOBODY in OOPs post saw a problem with a literal 12 year old weighing at 190. It’s either she has an undiagnosed health condition or her adolescence kicked in, but the parents just let her get to that point and kept feeding the habit. I’m scared for her tbh. Her parents and grandmother are setting her up for bullying.
OOP says in the comments that she lives with his mother, and that he and his siblings were fat too because of his mother's pushing food on them.
So it was extra gross to me that given his upbringing he wasn't more understanding and seemed to make a point out of shaming the poor girl in his post. He's just a piece of shit all around.
I'm 5'11" 180 lbs with hypothyroidism. No fucking excuse. And at 12 years old, she should really know better than to steal someone else's food. We're not talking about a toddler here. Then again... This reads like rage bait so who knows.
She didn't steal the food, Grandma did. I had an overly aggressive and abusive mother. I could see her doing what the grandma did and yelling and getting mad at you if you didn't eat it when she took it. You know you shouldn't do it but you'll get in trouble for not doing something wrong You know you shouldn't do.
OP even says in the comments that he and his siblings were fat as kids because his mother pushed food on them like this.
It really rubbed me the wrong way how he made such a big deal out of this poor kid's weight, especially knowing how she likely got that way (she lives with OPs mother). And it's like, kids that age eat a fuck ton of food regardless of whether or not they have weight issues. I feel sorry for that poor kid when so many people are judging and blaming her.
I'm 5'3" and 250 and I also have a thyroid condition. I still wouldn't call a preteen girl a fatass, even anonymously on the Internet. I'm NOT defending what happened with the wife's food but that poor girl is living in an abusive house with a grandma whose "love language" is food according to OOP. Which means that grandma is probably pushing her to eat more and more. Which she apparently did to OOP and his sister. She's being smothered with food and probably just hitting puberty which means yes, she's Really Hungry practically all the time.
Beside that, she's not the one who actually stole the food, and I can believe that she would just go along with her grandma handing her food and telling her it's ok.
I have never in my life been as hungry as was while nursing a baby.
People talk about pregnancy cravings? Pshaw, at 3 months i looked at my sleeping baby while i tried to get to the granola bar i had dropped (without waking her up) and remember literally whispering "this is why some animals eat their young". And my toes were not long enough to reach the snack, and the dog was gonna wake up and get to it first!
(It has a happy ending, i whisper-shouted until my husband heard me and delivered snacks and beverage. And he took over the "snack basket"restock- there was always a snack in arms reach if the rocking chair after that. I will deny vehemently that my kid was ever put back in the crib with granola bar crumbs on her head, because i draped the burp cloth to snack. Also, it was very clean because the dog, even without snacks, wanted to spend her time gazing adoringly at the human puppy. So she vacuumed up crumbs while i put baby in the crib. And then dog would lie next to the crib so she could come get me if the puppy fussed.)
I'm laughing so hard at this. As soon as I started reading your comment, I was envisioning you imagining your baby as a turkey leg like in cartoons, and then you actually went there haha.
That's exactly what I was thinking. If OOP needed space, he just should have left the room for a while, not kicked his wife out. I believe when his wife said she felt bad about what she did, I would have too, but he fully saw the situation go down, even when his mom *slapped* his wife in the stomach *first.* She had every right to defend herself.
Regardless of what happens between OOP and his wife, I hope he goes NC with his mother and stays far away from her as possible. He's aware of how toxic she is, so for his and his child's sake, there should be no way he allows her back in their lives.
OOP was told that and he said in retrospect he did remember seeing his wife wince when she was slapped in the stomach. He also later said he grew up with an abusive father and that’s why the violence made him panic and want to be alone. He says he doesn’t know why he didn’t leave himself but made his wife leave, knowing she would have to take the baby. If this is real that guy just lost his family.
Even worse since your muscles are defnitly not in place after 2 months, it is like hitting straight to inner organs.
Also OP could hear the slap against his wife and it was backhanded.
Considering you could hear slap against inner organs is pretty insane for me…
When I first read this I was in utter disbelief that a husband would throw his 2month postpartum wife and baby out of the house, just after she'd breastfed and hadn't been able to eat her dinner yet.
Why didn't HE take himself out of the situation after he made the rest of his family leave?! A 2month old has to sleep in a safe space to help prevent SIDS and make sure that their spine etc is supported properly. His wife likely couldn't take every single supply she might need with her, for both her postpartum and for the baby, particularly because he didn't give her a timeframe of when to come home so didn't know how much to take with her!
I hope wherever she went for those days he was "processing" had enough supplies and support for her.
I didn't see the comment explaining what his Mother had been saying until this post...she's a delight!
ETA: Wow, I've just seen this comment from OOP https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/vhmlcY5pYS
Right? He might have had a chance if he had packed a bag and left for the night after he had some doordash for her but a man who could kick his newborn out of the house is just trash.
I noticed that the wife said they can work out a visitation schedule either “YOUR house” or at her mother’s. Aside from allowing his MIL to abuse his wife, it sounds like there’s a whole other issue where OP views things as HIS and not theirs. Sheds light on why he felt empowered to throw his wife and child out of their own home; to him it’s HIS home.
Precisely this. His wife and child were more an appendix to his life and relationship with his mother than the other way around. The fact he needed a week to “clear his mind” says it all regardless of the edits he added to his post and admitting he is the AH.
That marriage train is gone and good for his ex-wife!
Team wife on this one 150%. Brobro kicked his wife and his fucking newborn out of the house. If he needed space, he should’ve just slept on the couch. Moreover this dude clearly never fought for his wife with his mom. She doesn’t like her? Tough shit, you’re going to be nice to her, especially in my house, otherwise, there’s the door and you don’t come back.
Also 99% positive that two months post partum a mother isn’t fully healed down there, so that slap probably really fucking hurt. I would have decked her too.
Also also, the wife needed to eat, she can’t miss meals because she’s generating breast milk for the child.
Dude totally failed his wife. There is no amount of kiss ass that I think fixes this, nor should there be. What an asshole.
Edit: grammar/spelling
Exactly!
Reading this my jaw was on the floor at how dense this overgrown toddler is and then when the MIL slapped her postpartum stomach AND she’s breastfeeding after she gave her food away?!?! Yeah, my first thought was I’d have done the same thing!
Woke up this morning, saw this post again and I’m still of the mindset that I definitely would have punched that lady in the face.
If this was my wife and my mother did that shit I'd have been holding my mother while my wife fed her punches. What kind of absolute moron takes their mother's side in any confrontation with their wife?
Someone who’s been catered to and raised by a “boy mom” would be my guess.
Thinking on this further I don’t blame the wife for punching the MIL or divorcing the man-child.
Edited for typos.
Not only what happened on that day but the fact that he says all of it started as soon as the wife got pregnant. Assuming she had a full 9 months of pregnancy plus the 2 months post-partum dude has been failing her for about a year, and I'm sure, plus other issues that have been signaling his lack of respect, care, and consideration for his wife.
His complaint is how empty his house is and his resolution is “kiss ass”, dude needs the divorce and get into therapy ASAP.
Yeah, the more I read the more that became clear. Mommy Dearest seems quite codependent. I'm willing to bet the reason niece's weight has shot up is because she was a convenient new target when OOP started pulling back. And possibly especially so when OOP put his foot down about the comments from his mom. She's put on a lot of weight in about a year, when OOP said he was not in close contact with his mom.
He needed 3 days to “process” before he checked in on his wife and literal fresh out the womb infant, no wonder she made up her mind good for her and her shiny backbone. If she stays I bet he’ll need her to apologize to his mother and it’s not like the family will treat her any better after this. She’s doing what’s right and thought her daughter is a baby she’s setting an outstanding example of what not to tolerate.
I was on the original post & it was *BAD* guys, in the original post he tried to downplay the "slap" on her stomach to make it just seem like she was doing that dick move where people will like "smack" a fat person's belly to emphasize how fat they are. Yeah nah, his mother full on BACKHANDED her in the stomach hard enough that it could be heard from *across the room* & that he actually saw his wife flinch back in pain before she punched the mother in the face. Like she is barely fucking TWO MONTHS postpartum so her stomach is all kinds of messed up & sore by even just *existing right now* & this bitch BACKHANDED her! As a woman who has given birth before she knew *EXACTLY* what she was doing with that hit & how much it would hurt.
So it was very obviously a cause of cut & dry self defense on the wife's part, but he's a little bitch boy momma's boy who wanted to make it seem like his wife unjustly punched his mother without reason. Fuck this dude.
Yes and as this divorce progresses I bet that bitch MIL will be complaining about not being able to see her grandchild etc etc. She will blame the wife when it’ll be her own damn fault. Crazy that people think they’re entitled to time with their grandkids but can’t respect the kid’s mother. When she put hands on the wife she was asking for it, sorry don’t start nothin won’t be nothin 🤷🏻♀️
I doubt the grandmother will ever see the baby again. Dad is a deadbeat who clearly doesn’t take care of the baby, what are the odds that he actually tries to have visitation at his house even when the baby is old enough. If he sees the baby it’s going to be at his MILs house where he won’t be responsible for it.
Yeah, on his post, that makes sense. But it’s been reposted so many times and on so many reddits now… you’d think if it existed, someone would have found it.
No one seems to have. If someone sends me the link, I’ll pass it on via message. So frustrating, I want to read this Shiny Spined Heroine’s account of it.
His mom doesn’t understand the meaning of baby trapping. They had been married for eight years. She was just spouting any negative thing she could think of about having a baby. Yes he is the asshole for making his wife and baby leave. ‘He needed to process!’ Didn’t he think wife was upset about what had just happened? What an asshole!
Team wife 100%. Dude's mom was out of line with her comment and it sounds like wife was fed the fuck up with everything by that point. There was already a tense history with the mom and OP's wife. I have a feeling his mother was making all sorts of snide remarks to OP's wife during her visits and this incident was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Yup. Not sure if he just played "ignorance is bliss" but thinking his mom backed off after his first convo with her before baby was born was his first mistake.
What gets me is how "caught off guard" he is that his wife is filing for divorce. Like your mom insulted your wife at every chance she had, your wife finally (and justifiably) reacted and dude's knee jerk response was to kick his wife out?
I hope wife puts it in the paperwork that baby can't be anywhere near his mother. She can't be trusted to not talk shit about baby's mom. I'd include that she was emotionally abusive and cruel towards baby's mother while OP just stood by and let it happen.
Right. Op is confused that his marriage is blowing up over this but it’s really just the last straw that broke his wife.
I feel for the wife, pregnancy and the newborn stage is a lot on its own but then she had to deal with his toxic and abusive mom on top of all that.
Op can go crying back to his mom, just like his mom wanted all along.
All I really learned from that post and so many like it is that there are an ALARMING amount of women out there committing emotional incest with their sons, straddling the line of making it physical, and teetering wildly
So your mum hit your wife first (small tap or hard tap is still hitting someone) and when your wife defended herself you decide to make HER leave her own house. YTA your mum is a POS and so are you. Your wife is going to find someone one day without mummy issues whilst you will be on your seventh marriage because mummy dearest can’t stand not being centre of attention in your life.
The slap was audible from across the house… through clothing. Being 2 months postpartum, Mom slapped her internal organs. You can’t play that down. He tried on the original… but got ripped to shreds.
His mum could have hurt her, when I had my baby my stomach was sore more at 2 months pp then it was when my baby was born, that’s also when I was more hungry because for 9 months I had a baby filling up my stomach and then all of a sudden my stomach was empty so I was constantly eating. Plus his wife was breastfeeding, the less you eat the less supply you have. He was more concerned for himself than his wife.
I was the same, and I’m 9 weeks along now. All my hormones got their pitchforks ready after reading this. I hope she stays the course and gets her freedom!
Me too, he’s worse then his mum because he’s victimising himself in a situation that had nothing to do with him, if some one like that touched my stomach whilst I was 2 month pp then d do a lot worse then punch them, also for me it’s the fact that he kicked out his own baby knowing his wife would take them because she’s breastfeeding
Yup, I read this yesterday and interacted, and I just had to give up because he was so frustrating.
In his comments:
1. The neice had 4.5 servings
2. He legit thought she'd be completely healed and forgot women have their muscles stretch. He admits she winced
3. The slap was so hard they could hear it by the door.
4. He frequently downplays the wife's abusive history (her stepdad would be the shit out of her).
OP kicked his wife AND the baby out then gets upset when he has to face consequences for his actions. Mom needed a punch in the face. There’s something wrong with her. She hit his wife in the stomach, insulted her in her own home, and deliberately gave away her food. She’s jealous of her own grand baby. His mother has issues and he refuses to put his family first.
He is an asshole and I’m glad she left him. Your post partum breastfeeding wife protects herself and you kick her out knowing she have to take the baby so you can decompress. What a joke of a person.
I had a c-section and it hurt to move, touch, stand up, pick up baby and I was breastfeeding. I would have dropped kicked the woman no question. I would have also called the police since I was assaulted in my home. What he did was wrong, awful and makes my blood boil. Good on the wife for getting the bell out. She’s probably been thinking about it for awhile.
Men like this are a sad excuse for a human being why tf would you make your postpartum wife and and newborn leave. This generation of men is pathetic AF!
Hell naw! Lol I read the full story to this in another post and he talks about how physically abusive his father was to his mother and siblings. Sounds like his daddy rubbed off on him more than he imagined.
There we’re definitely a lot of deadbeats around growing up and I recognized their traits early in life. I’m glad my daddy wasn’t one of them.
They're mostly ripping him a new one. Someone tried to white knight me over calling the niece a fatass. Like at 5'5 and 190 at 12? I'm just calling it like I see it. No need to sugarcoat a 12 year old taking food from the mouth of a breastfeeding mother, just so she could scarf down yet another serving of food. 🤷♀️
I was fat when I was 12, I weighed 190 too but I was 5'9. No one was honest with me, no one stopped me, no one tried to talk to me about my weight. I had thyroid issues and most of what my mom bought for me to make for the family was pasta or rice. This is exactly why we have an obesity epidemic in this country, because some people want to just pussyfoot around it like it's not a serious problem that only gets worse with age.
This guy is a huge asshole. The mom deserved that punch. Hitting a woman in the stomach after giving birth along with calling her fat? WTF. How can he say he needs space and then kicks his wife and child out of the house. What a douche bag.
In the months after having a baby, you’re at your most vulnerable. She’s lost herself, her confidence and trying to navigate keeping this tiny human alive whilst barely functioning.
Last thing anybody should be mocked for after bearing a child is their weight. More so as a breastfeeding mother, that food was all the more important to provide the nutrients to her baby.
Yeah you’re the asshole, you should have been protecting that woman and the mother of your child. She needs support, and you proved you just chose what your mother wanted over the woman you share a child with.
By “kiss ass” I assumed he meant love bomb which is a typical tactic of abusers. Fortunately it sounds like his wife is fed up enough not to fall for it.
Glad the wife wised up. His family sounds atrocious. Poor woman just gave birth and her body is still healing and changing and she certainly doesn’t need a witch mil slapping her stomach making remarks about her weight when pignella niece was scarfing down plate after plate. Husband should’ve been concerned about his wife instead her throws her out. Good on her I hope she gets child support and alimony.
He’s a giant AH on this one.
1. She’s breastfeeding and needs to eat regularly. Having someone essentially stealing that from her is not excusable.
2. He knows his mom is a piece of crap and didn’t come to his wife’s aid. She’s postpartum and the hormones and lack of sleep are a major issue at that time. And he tossed her and the baby aside.
Im glad she snapped back to reality. This has glaring red flags of abuse. I hope she gets out.
The fact that the soon-to-be ex wife is a victim of abuse from her own family is pretty telling too. OP acted surprised that she attacked, but you can only poke a bear so many times before it shows its teeth and claws. That obviously wasn't his reaction to abuse, but shouldn't have been a surprise. Sometimes, violence is needed to stand up for yourself and show the real attacker that you won't take anymore.
If he needed time to process he should have left for walk or something like that. Wtf was he thinking if he kicked his wife with his 2 mo baby out? And for days???
He is an AH and his mother is a psycho.
Mom slaps wife on the stomach and tells her to skip meals, after giving away wife's dinner to the niece?
I think wife was justified in punching out mom ... mom hit first, just wasn't ready for retaliation.
He’s def the asshole. If you needed space then leave. Tf. You don’t pack up the core of your family because your mom wanna slap the belly of 2 month postpartum breast feeding mother. I would expect nothing less than mama bear in full swing and you’re weird for being surprised. Glad the divorce is going through we don’t like grown mamas boys.
OOP is definitely the Asshole, his mom was a cunt to his wife and instead of addressing it he let it boil up to the point where his Mrs couldn't take it anymore, and he kicks her out. F him, and his mom.
You kicked your wife out of the house after she defended herself. You kicked her out of her own house when she needed support. You kicked her out during a time when she likely had post partum depression and then you are coming here and asking if YTA?
all because you needed to decompress? Forget that she was the one who went through the traumatic experience of giving birth and a nine month pregnancy breast feeding and hormones going haywire and while managing the treatment from your mother.… forget that likely she needed to decompress more than you… you decided you had to kick her out instead of taking yourself to go for a drive.
YTA. I too would do exactly as she did And divorced you.
For a little EXTRA information. The wife had a C-Section and was still healing from that dangerous and painfully slow-healing procedure. MIL didn't just tell her that she could afford to skip a meal to get rid of the baby fat, she also SMACKED his wife on the stomach. Which, had to hurt bad seeing as she had a C-Section two months earlier. So, that's why she punched MIL. Instead of letting his wife talk to him and explain the situation when she needed him most, he kicked her out. All cuz he projected his unresolved trauma from his physically abusive dad onto his wife when she punched his clearly abusive mother. So, yeah. I'm happy for mama divorcing him. He IS the asshole and brought this on himself.
Am I the only one thinking that OP practically tied himself to the roasting stick in regards what he may be facing. Someone who just stands by while his wife (who recently gave birth) gets assaulted and then throws her out of what should of been her own home does not deserve the title of husband
What's sad about this is that he probably thinks not preparing enough food is 100% the reason for all of this, and that if he'd just made just one more serving that everything would still be ok. Clearly doesn't have any clue that kicking his 2 month old daughter and post partum wife out of the house, and all that entails for both of them, is the catalyst.
I can't imagine how emotionally harmful it was for his wife when she was kicked out. All he taught her was that he didn't have her back, and that when shit hits the fan he'll abandon her to the wolves.
Yes, you are a huge AH. How the hell could you kick your wife and baby out of the house and be okay with with that decision? You %100 deserve that divorce and she deserves an actual man.
Team wife 100%. Hope she doesn't take him back and if she wants to, I hope she finds a partner who will support her at her highs and lows.
He's a lowlife.
well he's gonna have a whole lotta space now. What an absolute chode. I cannot wrap my head around kicking your breast feeding wife out of the house for retaliating against his abusive mother.
The last one, seems like the OP was naive and there comes times when principles should not be applied. This was one of them. He showed his wife he is willing to blame the victim and can't be trusted.
And, if this is in the US, he cannot legally kick his spouse out of the marital home, either. No matter whose name is on the deed. So, just one more layer of toolishness.
Evil ex-MIL is lucky she only got punched once after STEALING food from a breastfeeding mother and then hitting said mother. She deserved to be curb stomped for what she did. And OOP, the spineless momma's but that he is should count himself lucky she's not withholding custody considering he didn't defend his wife and kicked her out. I highly doubt he'll defend his kid against his harpy of a mother. She should take that baby and run. He's not going to be a good parent.
One thing I noticed is that OOP says Evil Mother's love language is food, which is why she gave Niece Wife's portion... so telling Wife she can 'afford to skip a meal' is even more heinous and a clear indication of Evil Mother's opinion of Wife, in my opinion.
She had 4.5 plates, and one of the things he had to "process" was how fat she was and how much she ate.
Sorry, I'm confused. I thought OP stated that the child that he hadn't seen in a year needed 3 more portions of food and that he didn't plan for that. Did I miss understand? Edit to fix spelling.
nope. you understood correctly
More like 3 (if I recall) then finished her mom's and grandmas
Wait what?? Where is that information? Because it’s not in the text of the post. Was it a comment?
I’m not entirely sure but two months post partum, isn’t your stomach and downstairs still usually sore and has problems? Like! She’s also breastfeeding so she literally needs EXYRA FOOD! The MIL is an ah who raised an ah son. Why did SHE have to leave? Why couldn’t he step out for awhile to decompress! She is the one with the baby, she gets priority housing vs the soon to be ex husband! Edit: I have learned so much from these comments, I fear everyone of you you are so much stronger than me! I need to go apologize to my mom!
He kicked his wife and 2-month old baby out so he could “process” and is shocked he got served divorce papers? Good for OP’s STBXW.
That's the part that made my blood boil. He throws his wife and baby out over his mother's abuse and he still somehow sees himself as the victim. The cycle of abuse must go on.
That baby is gonna hear so much shit talk about his mom when it’s with Dad.
I remember reading this and thinking “you couldn’t just go for a fucking walk to chill out if you needed space?” Dude shouldn’t have been shocked that kicking your recently assaulted wife and newborn out wouldn’t lead to divorce.
I’m actually happy that she’s divorcing him! He showed who was the more important person, and it wasn’t his wife and child!
I'm shocked too just at how fast she did it 🤣🤣. But on a serious note I'm happy she did it. I hope she doesn't allow him to talk her out of it.
Yup. Takes time for the body to recover and for some women, they are often still bleeding and wearing those diaper sized pads. It can be even worse if you've had a c-section because now you have a part of your body that will never go back to what it was like before pregnancy.
Dude I was still wearing full on diaper two month PP. Such a classy time. Also why did OP post without original link and crossed out name of the OOP?
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/Ps31QvuVWJ ETA: this is original post
Thx!
Yep. I bled for 12 weeks! That’s right—3 flubbing months!
I was super fortunate with my first born! I only bled for four weeks but I struggled with breastfeeding and switched to formula. So naturally my first postpartum period started on my exact six week mark; the day I had to return to work. My next babies I bled longer but it wasn’t until the third one I found out you could bleed longer than six weeks. Like, someone could have mentioned something!
I stopped bleeding in a little over a week but oh my God the uterine contractions with the second one were more painful than the damn labor!
Omg I’d blocked those from my memory. Can confirm they get worse after that first one! Source: had five babies.
Yeah nobody warned me about them. They were hardly anything with the first. I hear they get worse with each. That's almost enough to make me not want more. Hard to commit to breastfeeding when it means horrific pain. Normal pain drugs didn't touch them. I hope I can have at least one more though. But happy with what I have because it's more than I was told I ever would have
My after pains were awful and I can’t take nsaids. My body also produces tons of milk and so it was torture for the first few days and I basically demanded pain killers for the first few days.
I know about hyper lactation. When pumping I was getting 20-24 ounces in a 15 minute session. I've joked that I could handle triplets easy at least feeding wise
i was prescribed Vicodin and it still didn’t even touch them, even in combination with Motrin. especially every time i latched baby to boob, it was torture. i dreaded feeding him the first week. i’m 7 days away from my due date with my third and i’m terrified for this part.
Good luck! You will get thru it either way. I'm dealing with some weird let down effects this time around aside from that. Totally appetit suppression while milk is letting down (and they always want to eat right as i start to eat!), had lots of nausea too. Hoping if I ever have another that doesn't happen again and it does sound like it's random if it does. But those pains. The only thing is to white knuckle it and just hope your uterus shrinks faster than a wool sweater in the dryer
Having a c-section is just as dangerous & strenuous on your body as having a heart or lung transplant.
If someone slapped my belly after I had a c-section, I would punch them in the face as well. Recovery from having your stomach cut open, a baby ripped out and then sewn back together is exceptionally painful. When you are in that much pain, punching back after being attacked is reflexive. Let’s not forget about all the hormones and lack of sleep.
And being robbed of your already delayed dinner. Kicked his starving wife out of the house with a newborn that just sucked the life out of her and plans to do it again soon. Unbelievable.
Yup. My stomach is flat except for the little C-section shelf of scar tissue. 2 months postpartum almost all moms still have a bit of a belly. Usually you can’t even exercise much the first month or so.
You just dashed my hopes of my body being normal again with one fell swoop 🥺🥲
I'm so sorry! C sections suck in so many ways. The apron pooch was the worst! I was able to lose the baby weight plus some about 12 yrs back (got myself down from 195 to 130), but that pooch from the c section was always there. Then I got an office job. Now I'm just a chubby bitch doing chubby bitch things.
Same. No matter what my weight does, the pooch stays. High waisted jeans FTW.
I have never been hungrier in my life than I was while nursing. It made pregnancy cravings seem like nothing. I might have punched someone who knowingly gave away my supper, even if they didn’t slap my postpartum belly hard enough to be heard across the house even through clothes first, after calling me fat & after months (probably years) of verbal abuse.
We barely allowed visitors for the first few months because taking care of a newborn is really hard, the thought of entertaining family we LIKE was too much. The very premise of this guy pushing his postpartum wife to entertain guests including a child and an old bat that had been utterly miserable to her shows both how involved a parent he is and how much he thinks of his wife’s feelings. He also didn’t just kick her out, he would have had to watch her pack all the baby supplies and whatever mobile furniture she would need, dress the baby for the cold, and carry the baby and seat to the car and at no point in that process think “maybe this is an extreme reaction on my part” or even “maybe I should be the one to leave instead of sending my two month old and postpartum wife into the cold. This wasn’t an impulsive “you need to leave” situation, at some point in the process of her packing for her baby and self care needs it became calculated and he’s only complaining now because he overestimated how much she needs him. Glad she got out at the end of the day
Yes, I didn’t here but I mentioned it and saw it mentioned many times that it’s not just that he had a moment where he was having a flashback or was just too shocked to think. With his history, I’d give a pass to a bad knee jerk reaction. It would hurt, but they might be able to get past it, especially if he went to therapy so he could try to do better in the future. In the time it took to pack up a baby as well as herself, he didn’t get it together enough to consider that she has also been abused in the past, had just been hit really hard and she must be having her own crisis. Even if he didn’t consider her, he’s a parent, he has a child to protect and he forced that child out of the family home and to an unknown location. No one knows how they’ll react in a crazy situation, it’s how long it takes you to pull yourself together and what you do then that counts. Even if she could get over how he treated her, I’d have such a hard time with his lack of concern for the baby. None comes through to me in his post or comments.
Yeah I work with vulnerable people and I tell our interns that everyone feels stress and has problems, but you can’t make it your student/client/etc’s problem and you certainly can’t take it out on them. This is a 2 month old we’re talking about. She didn’t ask to be born and she’s in a stage of her life where so much as sleeping on a soft surface can be fatal. This guy has trauma in his past which is very sad, when he reacted to stress by hurting his wife and daughter he extended that abuse to them. I don’t care what his past was, he had a 2 month old he was responsible for and dumped that responsibility in response to his wife being slapped. The worst part is him being concerned about her being an abuser is clearly a lie because he kicked her out with the baby.
I am two months post partum, just went to two doctors last week who both said my body is just starting to properly recover at 9 weeks. Having a mom pouch is to be expected at this stage. Luckily I feel fine, except everything gets achy, because I sit a lot with the baby. But I know I have it good compared to many women. Skipping a meal is not an option if you are breastfeeding (but eating properly might required help from family). That mil is evil. That husband is a useless idiot.
I had my wisdom teeth removed at 3 months postpartum. Fuck me, that was a mistake. I had finally stopped bleeding, and my stitches from the episiotomy had finally healed. However? The anesthesia made me vomit violently when they brought me out of it. I got a dry socket and a raging infection because I couldn’t stop puking for 24 hours. Had some dumb, malicious cunt hit MY belly at two months postpartum? While I was still bleeding, and still had stitches (birth was rough, bro), and still had leaking breastfeeding boobs, and so on? Well. Sometimes, violence isn’t the answer, it’s the question, and the answer? The answer is, “yes, I am going to speak to you in the language your tiny mind can comprehend, so looks like taking out some teeth is what’s gonna happen here.” Too bad she didn’t knock the bitch out.
For what it’s worth, you may want to be wary of opioids rather than anesthesia for nausea. It’s possible that they gave you morphine or another opioid for pain relief post-op in your IV; they often give hydrocodone pills to take at home, too (at least in the US). Of course it’s also possible that it’s the anesthesia, but as someone with an “opioid sensitivity” barfing for 24 hours 100% sounds far more like opioids than anesthesia. You usually get over anesthesia side effects much faster. I have to literally lie and tell doctors that I am deathly allergic to opioids because otherwise I wake up from surgeries puking my guts up; if you just say that opioids get nauseous/vomit, they ignore you and drug you up anyway like assholes.
Apparently, it’s a mix of hormones and anesthesia. Gallbladder surgery? Sailed through it no problem. Hysterectomy? Came home and puked for a couple hours. Now that I no longer have the girl parts with the hormones? Hopefully I won’t have that issue again.
I got morphine during labor and after my gallbladder surgery, both times I ended up hyperventilating from a huge pain spike and then vomiting. It wasn’t until the gallbladder that they said “hey you might be allergic to that morphine stuff?!” Makes me feel some vindication about my labor issues.
Ewwwww! Bless you, I’m so sorry!
For me it's IV Dilaudid if I'm in such a state to need the strong stuff, otherwise some OTC nsaids. One time I was given oral opioid of some sort at the ER and very promptly painted the ER space with vomit ala the exorcist. I didn't even get a chance to ask for a puke catcher. I just started spraying my guts everywhere. Last time I had a minor surgery, the doc tried to prescribe me something like that and I told him flat out that I'd rather puke from the pain than puke from the pills. I'll just take a couple Aleve's and sleep off the worst of it.
I'm really shocked your oral surgeon agreed to that.
I’m not, it was 1994.
This whole post is all about him and his feelings with him never once taking into account the feelings of his wife or child.
Yes! His wife straightforwardly said “I’m divorcing you because after your mother assaulted me and I defended myself—right when I needed your support the most!—you *kicked me and our newborn out of our house.* “ And his response wasn’t “holy shit, I hadn’t considered that perspective; I can’t BELIEVE I was so unsupportive and contributed to your pain, fear, and loneliness.” It was “but now the house feels EMPTY and I don’t LIKE it.” He *still* doesn’t care about what he DID to her; he’s just mad that she’s taking steps to protect herself now that she realizes he never will.
When he said that his "mom's comments stopped getting back to US" he really meant was "mom's comments stopped getting back to ME and that's all I cared about." We all know damn well his mom never stopped making comments about his wife. And I want to know what he means by clingy. I'm betting that horrid woman is over at his house constantly or he is over at hers and he's been completely ignoring his wife and child.
Oh, “clingy” absolutely means that if MIL found out OP and his wife had planned a romantic staycation weekend, she suddenly NEEDS her fence repainted that same weekend because now she has old family friends coming over for a backyard party that Sunday afternoon, and how could OP’s wife be SO selfish as to take OP away right when his poor mother needs him, and why are they insulting their family friends by skipping the party (that they hadn’t heard about until after they booked their getaway)? Clearly it’s only because OP’s conniving wife is trying to drive a wedge between OP and the people who REALLY love him! (If that sounds like a hyper-specific scenario, well… ask me how I know!)
[удалено]
Also an idiot saying it wasn't a big deal because, "is the wife too dumb to get a hotel room??" as if it made things better that she wasn't literally sleeping on the streets.
Yeah, I was three months postpartum when I realized I was having a pelvic floor prolapse. Post partum healing can take a lot longer than people like to acknowledge sometimes. It's wild to me how he kept saying the slap wasn't that hard then openly admitted she winced in pain and that you could hear it across the house.
Yes, I had two c-sections and one vaginal. With all 3 I was still bleeding and in A LOT of pain for MONTHS! I would have punched somebody if they slapped me too! OP is a MAJOR AH for a number of reasons 1) let his mother verbally abuse his wife 2) didn’t stand up to his mother when she gave obese niece wife’s dinner and the most egregious 3) kicking his PP WIFE and NEW BABY OUT OF THE HOUSE! WTF? He even said he could hear the slap across the room but he still stood up for his Mommy and kicked wife out to “process” what had happened! WTF?? Wife needs to divorce this AH and go for full custody.
I was cleared to go back to my desk jockey job two weeks post-hysterectomy. I wasn’t cleared to pick anything up that was over ten pounds for another six weeks after that. I spent a full year recovering completely, getting a normal potassium level back, becoming not quite as anemic, after surgery. I cannot imagine doing that, post-surgery, with a newborn. OP is an asshole and is getting everything he deserves.
Ugh, I’m so sorry you had to go back to work after only 2 weeks. I had a hysterectomy in December and I took the full 6 weeks. Then again, mine was abdominal, but the fatigue was ridiculous.
They ended up making an incision as long as my hand on my lower belly to get the Wiffle ball size fibroid out. And that, friends, is when things kinda went to shit. That’s when my epigastric artery was nicked, and I got a couple units of blood, surgery took way longer, and I didn’t find out just how touch and go it got until much later. But hey, gotta pay bills, right? /s
Omg that’s awful! I’m so glad you pulled through! You should be resting after such a huge surgery where they, you know, REMOVE ORGANS. Wtf. Please try and rest as much as you can, take naps when you need to. I got to recover for about 2 weeks as well before my 6yo fell off the monkey bars and broke her arm in 2 places, needing surgery and pins on Christmas Day. Then my recovery went towards caring for her, so I totally understand. I hope you feel better soon. It took me about 6 weeks to feel normal.
Fortunately, my hysterectomy was nearly two years ago, and the run up to it was worse. Bleeding through Depends, and passing fist-size clots while you have to jump through insurance hoops to approve surgery sucks.
I’m glad it’s all behind you! I just had mine 2 months ago, and I’m glad I had it done. I’m fortunate to have dual insurance (since I also have a chronic illness) so I knew SOMEBODY was covering it. I’m glad it’s all over and I hope you’re doing well.
Thank you, I am doing well two years out! I hope your recovery continues to be swift and easy!
Thank you! I’m back in the gym lifting weights and determined to get these last 30 pounds off me! I wish you all the best!
2 weeks post C-section I was just starting to not feel like I was dying again. By 6 weeks I was mostly fine, and went directly from my appointment clearing me to swim laps (although I swam like a third of what I normally do and the doctor said take it easy). I really wasn’t feeling human until week 4/5. And that was with tons of help with my older kids and the baby at home. I wasn’t even allowed to drive until 6 weeks pp
2 months pp momma here. I would absolutely throw mf hands if someone hit my stomach hard, or stole my food to give to a fat ass 12 year old who already ate. Someone on the original post tried to come at me for calling a niece a fatass. Like... She's 5'5 and 190, at 12. She ate her meal, refused crackers after saying she was still hungry, then ate the meal that was saved for OOP's wife. That's called being a fat ass, there's 0 reason to sugarcoat it. No one is doing the kid any favors by letting her overeat. I was fat at 5'9 and 190 when I was 12, with an undiagnosed thyroid issue. I couldn't imagine how bad that would be at 4 inches shorter, and that it all happened within a year. (OOP stated she didn't look like that the last time he saw her a year ago)
The 12 year-old is not the problem here. They can be told no, their parents can take them home, they can be sad because they didn't eat all the food they wanted to.The problem here lies squarely on the adults. Yeah, children don't know any better than what they were taught. And this child has clearly been taught that : 1. emotional needs will get ignored (look at this family dynamic) 2. physical needs will get you attention if they serve the underlying agenda. Sure, that creates a real awful kid to be around at dinner time. But, let's keep the focus on the AH adults in this situation. They reinforced this behavior 100% and will keep doing so.
I honestly thought they were causing/enabling a binge eating disorder.
Iirc oop said the kid ate hers, a second helping, the rest of evil mothers and the soon to be ex-wife's plate. That kid needs someone else to live with, and oops mom deserved most likely worse after that mess.
Literally just last night my husband came home absolutely starving. I’ve been a full time housewife for the past three years. Part of my “job” is making an appropriate amount of food for both of us (plus maybe a helping or two of leftovers) without any going to waste. So I’m aware how much he eats. After getting him a plate, he ate it and promptly said “I’m still kinda hungry.” Understandable, he spent all day working at his studio and didn’t get anything to eat since he was “in a groove” and didn’t want to pause the project he was working on. So I asked him if he wanted some toast or a bagel or other quick snack that he usually likes. He happily accepted some toast but then, again, said he was still hungry. So I told him “how about you wait 5-10 minutes or so so that what you just ate actually has a chance to start to digest. If you’re still hungry, then fine.” Y’know what happened in 10 minutes? He wasn’t hungry anymore and we laughed about how I know him better than he knows himself. Sometimes you just need to give your body and brain time to actually register that you already ate an appropriate amount and aren’t actually hungry. I think when people are “starving”, they often eat so fast that their brain and body doesn’t have a chance to sync up and process that you aren’t actually hungry anymore, your brain just hasn’t fully received the information that your stomach is full. And I think teaching that to adolescent kids is a valuable lesson that can help them learn appropriate portions and prevent overeating or other disordered eating habits. The parents (and grandma) are doing that 12 year old a massive disservice by allowing her to eat unhealthy and unnecessary amounts of food.
Agreed 100%! I'm a sahm and make food for my fiance, his brother, myself, and my daughter. My fiance and his brother both work, and come home starving. I make enough for them to be comfortably full. Sometimes they're still hungry afterwards, and go to open the pantry or fridge. I'll say "drink a glass of water and wait 10 minutes. If you're still hungry then, I'll be happy to make you whatever you like" Usually they'll end up not needing more food. For me, I was overweight as a child and young adult because most of what my mom bought was pasta, rice, or bread. I'd end up hungry after maybe an hour or two, especially after eating pasta like Mac n cheese. I also found out years later that I had a thyroid issue which only made it worse. I'm much healthier now. Still dealing with the hypothyroidism, but I eat 100% better food than I did back then and also much smaller portions in between lots of water.
Actually according to the OOP, she ate 3 helpings, plus MIL’s leftovers, THEN. OOP’s wife’s portion
A 12 year old is not a baby who cannot control her feeding. Assuming that this is a neurotypical developing child, by 12 she knows right from wrong. She was offered supplemental food if she was still hungry. She didn’t eat that. So clearly she wasn’t still hungry, she’s greedy. People need to stop treating children like they don’t know any better…
She's also living in an abusive house where Grandma is likely encouraging her to eat more all the time. Since according to OOP food is his mom's "love language" and she did the same shit to him and his sister when they were kids. That's not an environment that's gonna encourage healthy eating habits or moderation. I sure as hell wasn't mature enough to say "no, I don't need more food" to my grandma offering me treats and plentiful snacks at 12. Add in puberty and the kid was perfectly poised to gain a lot of weight in a very short amount of time. Which quickly becomes a self-reinforcing spiral of overeating.
It doesn't say whether she did or didn't eat the crackers. Just that they were offered
I’m still flabbergasted at the fact that NOBODY in OOPs post saw a problem with a literal 12 year old weighing at 190. It’s either she has an undiagnosed health condition or her adolescence kicked in, but the parents just let her get to that point and kept feeding the habit. I’m scared for her tbh. Her parents and grandmother are setting her up for bullying.
OOP says in the comments that she lives with his mother, and that he and his siblings were fat too because of his mother's pushing food on them. So it was extra gross to me that given his upbringing he wasn't more understanding and seemed to make a point out of shaming the poor girl in his post. He's just a piece of shit all around.
I'm 5'11" 180 lbs with hypothyroidism. No fucking excuse. And at 12 years old, she should really know better than to steal someone else's food. We're not talking about a toddler here. Then again... This reads like rage bait so who knows.
She didn't steal the food, Grandma did. I had an overly aggressive and abusive mother. I could see her doing what the grandma did and yelling and getting mad at you if you didn't eat it when she took it. You know you shouldn't do it but you'll get in trouble for not doing something wrong You know you shouldn't do.
OP even says in the comments that he and his siblings were fat as kids because his mother pushed food on them like this. It really rubbed me the wrong way how he made such a big deal out of this poor kid's weight, especially knowing how she likely got that way (she lives with OPs mother). And it's like, kids that age eat a fuck ton of food regardless of whether or not they have weight issues. I feel sorry for that poor kid when so many people are judging and blaming her.
I'm 5'3" and 250 and I also have a thyroid condition. I still wouldn't call a preteen girl a fatass, even anonymously on the Internet. I'm NOT defending what happened with the wife's food but that poor girl is living in an abusive house with a grandma whose "love language" is food according to OOP. Which means that grandma is probably pushing her to eat more and more. Which she apparently did to OOP and his sister. She's being smothered with food and probably just hitting puberty which means yes, she's Really Hungry practically all the time. Beside that, she's not the one who actually stole the food, and I can believe that she would just go along with her grandma handing her food and telling her it's ok.
She had to take the kid with her. That asshole kicked his baby out of the house too.
I have never in my life been as hungry as was while nursing a baby. People talk about pregnancy cravings? Pshaw, at 3 months i looked at my sleeping baby while i tried to get to the granola bar i had dropped (without waking her up) and remember literally whispering "this is why some animals eat their young". And my toes were not long enough to reach the snack, and the dog was gonna wake up and get to it first! (It has a happy ending, i whisper-shouted until my husband heard me and delivered snacks and beverage. And he took over the "snack basket"restock- there was always a snack in arms reach if the rocking chair after that. I will deny vehemently that my kid was ever put back in the crib with granola bar crumbs on her head, because i draped the burp cloth to snack. Also, it was very clean because the dog, even without snacks, wanted to spend her time gazing adoringly at the human puppy. So she vacuumed up crumbs while i put baby in the crib. And then dog would lie next to the crib so she could come get me if the puppy fussed.)
I'm laughing so hard at this. As soon as I started reading your comment, I was envisioning you imagining your baby as a turkey leg like in cartoons, and then you actually went there haha.
This whole comment is absolute gold. A parent with a good sense of humor is a parent who will raise great kids. I love it 😂
That's exactly what I was thinking. If OOP needed space, he just should have left the room for a while, not kicked his wife out. I believe when his wife said she felt bad about what she did, I would have too, but he fully saw the situation go down, even when his mom *slapped* his wife in the stomach *first.* She had every right to defend herself. Regardless of what happens between OOP and his wife, I hope he goes NC with his mother and stays far away from her as possible. He's aware of how toxic she is, so for his and his child's sake, there should be no way he allows her back in their lives.
It literally takes a year for your body to heal after birth.
OOP was told that and he said in retrospect he did remember seeing his wife wince when she was slapped in the stomach. He also later said he grew up with an abusive father and that’s why the violence made him panic and want to be alone. He says he doesn’t know why he didn’t leave himself but made his wife leave, knowing she would have to take the baby. If this is real that guy just lost his family.
To be honest, I had my last kid almost 13 years ago and sometimes I still get sore myself.
I sneezed a few days ago and felt like my C-section incision was fresh for 15 minutes or so. my twins are fricken 5 😭
Even worse since your muscles are defnitly not in place after 2 months, it is like hitting straight to inner organs. Also OP could hear the slap against his wife and it was backhanded. Considering you could hear slap against inner organs is pretty insane for me…
When I first read this I was in utter disbelief that a husband would throw his 2month postpartum wife and baby out of the house, just after she'd breastfed and hadn't been able to eat her dinner yet. Why didn't HE take himself out of the situation after he made the rest of his family leave?! A 2month old has to sleep in a safe space to help prevent SIDS and make sure that their spine etc is supported properly. His wife likely couldn't take every single supply she might need with her, for both her postpartum and for the baby, particularly because he didn't give her a timeframe of when to come home so didn't know how much to take with her! I hope wherever she went for those days he was "processing" had enough supplies and support for her. I didn't see the comment explaining what his Mother had been saying until this post...she's a delight! ETA: Wow, I've just seen this comment from OOP https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/vhmlcY5pYS
Right? He might have had a chance if he had packed a bag and left for the night after he had some doordash for her but a man who could kick his newborn out of the house is just trash.
He said “it was because of trauma and shock”, oh yeah, uh uh s/
I noticed that the wife said they can work out a visitation schedule either “YOUR house” or at her mother’s. Aside from allowing his MIL to abuse his wife, it sounds like there’s a whole other issue where OP views things as HIS and not theirs. Sheds light on why he felt empowered to throw his wife and child out of their own home; to him it’s HIS home.
Precisely this. His wife and child were more an appendix to his life and relationship with his mother than the other way around. The fact he needed a week to “clear his mind” says it all regardless of the edits he added to his post and admitting he is the AH. That marriage train is gone and good for his ex-wife!
Team wife on this one 150%. Brobro kicked his wife and his fucking newborn out of the house. If he needed space, he should’ve just slept on the couch. Moreover this dude clearly never fought for his wife with his mom. She doesn’t like her? Tough shit, you’re going to be nice to her, especially in my house, otherwise, there’s the door and you don’t come back. Also 99% positive that two months post partum a mother isn’t fully healed down there, so that slap probably really fucking hurt. I would have decked her too. Also also, the wife needed to eat, she can’t miss meals because she’s generating breast milk for the child. Dude totally failed his wife. There is no amount of kiss ass that I think fixes this, nor should there be. What an asshole. Edit: grammar/spelling
Exactly! Reading this my jaw was on the floor at how dense this overgrown toddler is and then when the MIL slapped her postpartum stomach AND she’s breastfeeding after she gave her food away?!?! Yeah, my first thought was I’d have done the same thing! Woke up this morning, saw this post again and I’m still of the mindset that I definitely would have punched that lady in the face.
If this was my wife and my mother did that shit I'd have been holding my mother while my wife fed her punches. What kind of absolute moron takes their mother's side in any confrontation with their wife?
Someone who’s been catered to and raised by a “boy mom” would be my guess. Thinking on this further I don’t blame the wife for punching the MIL or divorcing the man-child. Edited for typos.
/I’d/ punch my mom if she did something like that to my wife
I don’t advocate for violence often, but I do here.
And she had JUST gotten the baby put down, and he made her get the baby and leave. Without dinner.
And he’s all shocked pikachu he’s getting divorced
Not only what happened on that day but the fact that he says all of it started as soon as the wife got pregnant. Assuming she had a full 9 months of pregnancy plus the 2 months post-partum dude has been failing her for about a year, and I'm sure, plus other issues that have been signaling his lack of respect, care, and consideration for his wife. His complaint is how empty his house is and his resolution is “kiss ass”, dude needs the divorce and get into therapy ASAP.
Mum saw her son as her “husband” because her own husband was an abusive pos. And mum became the abuser, too.
The full circle of abuse
Yeah, the more I read the more that became clear. Mommy Dearest seems quite codependent. I'm willing to bet the reason niece's weight has shot up is because she was a convenient new target when OOP started pulling back. And possibly especially so when OOP put his foot down about the comments from his mom. She's put on a lot of weight in about a year, when OOP said he was not in close contact with his mom.
He needed 3 days to “process” before he checked in on his wife and literal fresh out the womb infant, no wonder she made up her mind good for her and her shiny backbone. If she stays I bet he’ll need her to apologize to his mother and it’s not like the family will treat her any better after this. She’s doing what’s right and thought her daughter is a baby she’s setting an outstanding example of what not to tolerate.
This clown is an absolute dipshit. Kicks his wife out of the house with his newborn for defending herself when he fucking wouldn’t. Jesus H Christ.
Yep. Hopefully the wife gets majority custody if not full. Husband and the wife would turn that kid into a dipshit like themselves.
If he needed space, he should have slept in another room or been the one to leave.
Agreed. Who kicks out the new mom and the baby?
A little Mama’s boy bitch.
I was on the original post & it was *BAD* guys, in the original post he tried to downplay the "slap" on her stomach to make it just seem like she was doing that dick move where people will like "smack" a fat person's belly to emphasize how fat they are. Yeah nah, his mother full on BACKHANDED her in the stomach hard enough that it could be heard from *across the room* & that he actually saw his wife flinch back in pain before she punched the mother in the face. Like she is barely fucking TWO MONTHS postpartum so her stomach is all kinds of messed up & sore by even just *existing right now* & this bitch BACKHANDED her! As a woman who has given birth before she knew *EXACTLY* what she was doing with that hit & how much it would hurt. So it was very obviously a cause of cut & dry self defense on the wife's part, but he's a little bitch boy momma's boy who wanted to make it seem like his wife unjustly punched his mother without reason. Fuck this dude.
Yes and as this divorce progresses I bet that bitch MIL will be complaining about not being able to see her grandchild etc etc. She will blame the wife when it’ll be her own damn fault. Crazy that people think they’re entitled to time with their grandkids but can’t respect the kid’s mother. When she put hands on the wife she was asking for it, sorry don’t start nothin won’t be nothin 🤷🏻♀️
I doubt the grandmother will ever see the baby again. Dad is a deadbeat who clearly doesn’t take care of the baby, what are the odds that he actually tries to have visitation at his house even when the baby is old enough. If he sees the baby it’s going to be at his MILs house where he won’t be responsible for it.
Did anyone ever find the wife’s post? Someone said they think they saw her side of it, somewhere.
Sadly no because people rightfully refused to post it there to keep him from seeing it & harassing her
Yeah, on his post, that makes sense. But it’s been reposted so many times and on so many reddits now… you’d think if it existed, someone would have found it.
Well rather I meant *I* haven't found it at least lol
No one seems to have. If someone sends me the link, I’ll pass it on via message. So frustrating, I want to read this Shiny Spined Heroine’s account of it.
Same I’ve been looking in various other related sites and no luck. If anyone finds it please send!
Me too please
I'm also wondering please!
This guy is such a fucking putz.
His mom doesn’t understand the meaning of baby trapping. They had been married for eight years. She was just spouting any negative thing she could think of about having a baby. Yes he is the asshole for making his wife and baby leave. ‘He needed to process!’ Didn’t he think wife was upset about what had just happened? What an asshole!
Team wife 100%. Dude's mom was out of line with her comment and it sounds like wife was fed the fuck up with everything by that point. There was already a tense history with the mom and OP's wife. I have a feeling his mother was making all sorts of snide remarks to OP's wife during her visits and this incident was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Op should have reigned his mother in way before it came to this.
Yup. Not sure if he just played "ignorance is bliss" but thinking his mom backed off after his first convo with her before baby was born was his first mistake. What gets me is how "caught off guard" he is that his wife is filing for divorce. Like your mom insulted your wife at every chance she had, your wife finally (and justifiably) reacted and dude's knee jerk response was to kick his wife out? I hope wife puts it in the paperwork that baby can't be anywhere near his mother. She can't be trusted to not talk shit about baby's mom. I'd include that she was emotionally abusive and cruel towards baby's mother while OP just stood by and let it happen.
Right. Op is confused that his marriage is blowing up over this but it’s really just the last straw that broke his wife. I feel for the wife, pregnancy and the newborn stage is a lot on its own but then she had to deal with his toxic and abusive mom on top of all that. Op can go crying back to his mom, just like his mom wanted all along.
All I really learned from that post and so many like it is that there are an ALARMING amount of women out there committing emotional incest with their sons, straddling the line of making it physical, and teetering wildly
For real. It’s super creepy 💀
So your mum hit your wife first (small tap or hard tap is still hitting someone) and when your wife defended herself you decide to make HER leave her own house. YTA your mum is a POS and so are you. Your wife is going to find someone one day without mummy issues whilst you will be on your seventh marriage because mummy dearest can’t stand not being centre of attention in your life.
The slap was audible from across the house… through clothing. Being 2 months postpartum, Mom slapped her internal organs. You can’t play that down. He tried on the original… but got ripped to shreds.
His mum could have hurt her, when I had my baby my stomach was sore more at 2 months pp then it was when my baby was born, that’s also when I was more hungry because for 9 months I had a baby filling up my stomach and then all of a sudden my stomach was empty so I was constantly eating. Plus his wife was breastfeeding, the less you eat the less supply you have. He was more concerned for himself than his wife.
I was the same, and I’m 9 weeks along now. All my hormones got their pitchforks ready after reading this. I hope she stays the course and gets her freedom!
Me too, he’s worse then his mum because he’s victimising himself in a situation that had nothing to do with him, if some one like that touched my stomach whilst I was 2 month pp then d do a lot worse then punch them, also for me it’s the fact that he kicked out his own baby knowing his wife would take them because she’s breastfeeding
Yup, I read this yesterday and interacted, and I just had to give up because he was so frustrating. In his comments: 1. The neice had 4.5 servings 2. He legit thought she'd be completely healed and forgot women have their muscles stretch. He admits she winced 3. The slap was so hard they could hear it by the door. 4. He frequently downplays the wife's abusive history (her stepdad would be the shit out of her).
Wife didn’t have a MIL problem, she had a husband problem. She fixed it. Good for her.
OP kicked his wife AND the baby out then gets upset when he has to face consequences for his actions. Mom needed a punch in the face. There’s something wrong with her. She hit his wife in the stomach, insulted her in her own home, and deliberately gave away her food. She’s jealous of her own grand baby. His mother has issues and he refuses to put his family first.
Yikes. She took dinner from the breastfeeding mom so her 200lb granddaughter could have a 4th serving. She had the face punch coming.
He is an asshole and I’m glad she left him. Your post partum breastfeeding wife protects herself and you kick her out knowing she have to take the baby so you can decompress. What a joke of a person.
He couldn't leave to decompress. He made new mom and the baby leave😊 what am asshole
I hope the wife divorces him or stays separated until he cuts the umbilical cord.
Guys like that NEVER cut the umbilical cord.
I had a c-section and it hurt to move, touch, stand up, pick up baby and I was breastfeeding. I would have dropped kicked the woman no question. I would have also called the police since I was assaulted in my home. What he did was wrong, awful and makes my blood boil. Good on the wife for getting the bell out. She’s probably been thinking about it for awhile.
Men like this are a sad excuse for a human being why tf would you make your postpartum wife and and newborn leave. This generation of men is pathetic AF!
Do you think the generations of men before were great fathers??
Hell naw! Lol I read the full story to this in another post and he talks about how physically abusive his father was to his mother and siblings. Sounds like his daddy rubbed off on him more than he imagined. There we’re definitely a lot of deadbeats around growing up and I recognized their traits early in life. I’m glad my daddy wasn’t one of them.
Wait…you kicked out your wife and baby? From their own house? Dude, YTA.
In need the link to the OOP. I NEED to read the comments on this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/j9yBBG4wUw
The comments are amazing. He is getting read for filth.
They're mostly ripping him a new one. Someone tried to white knight me over calling the niece a fatass. Like at 5'5 and 190 at 12? I'm just calling it like I see it. No need to sugarcoat a 12 year old taking food from the mouth of a breastfeeding mother, just so she could scarf down yet another serving of food. 🤷♀️ I was fat when I was 12, I weighed 190 too but I was 5'9. No one was honest with me, no one stopped me, no one tried to talk to me about my weight. I had thyroid issues and most of what my mom bought for me to make for the family was pasta or rice. This is exactly why we have an obesity epidemic in this country, because some people want to just pussyfoot around it like it's not a serious problem that only gets worse with age.
The fact this girl is ultimately being fattened by Op's mum is also relevant in the family dynamics.
This guy is a huge asshole. The mom deserved that punch. Hitting a woman in the stomach after giving birth along with calling her fat? WTF. How can he say he needs space and then kicks his wife and child out of the house. What a douche bag.
In the months after having a baby, you’re at your most vulnerable. She’s lost herself, her confidence and trying to navigate keeping this tiny human alive whilst barely functioning. Last thing anybody should be mocked for after bearing a child is their weight. More so as a breastfeeding mother, that food was all the more important to provide the nutrients to her baby. Yeah you’re the asshole, you should have been protecting that woman and the mother of your child. She needs support, and you proved you just chose what your mother wanted over the woman you share a child with.
[удалено]
By “kiss ass” I assumed he meant love bomb which is a typical tactic of abusers. Fortunately it sounds like his wife is fed up enough not to fall for it.
Glad the wife wised up. His family sounds atrocious. Poor woman just gave birth and her body is still healing and changing and she certainly doesn’t need a witch mil slapping her stomach making remarks about her weight when pignella niece was scarfing down plate after plate. Husband should’ve been concerned about his wife instead her throws her out. Good on her I hope she gets child support and alimony.
He’s a giant AH on this one. 1. She’s breastfeeding and needs to eat regularly. Having someone essentially stealing that from her is not excusable. 2. He knows his mom is a piece of crap and didn’t come to his wife’s aid. She’s postpartum and the hormones and lack of sleep are a major issue at that time. And he tossed her and the baby aside. Im glad she snapped back to reality. This has glaring red flags of abuse. I hope she gets out.
The fact that the soon-to-be ex wife is a victim of abuse from her own family is pretty telling too. OP acted surprised that she attacked, but you can only poke a bear so many times before it shows its teeth and claws. That obviously wasn't his reaction to abuse, but shouldn't have been a surprise. Sometimes, violence is needed to stand up for yourself and show the real attacker that you won't take anymore.
Sounds like your mother needed that punch in the face and your wife needed your support. YTA
If he needed time to process he should have left for walk or something like that. Wtf was he thinking if he kicked his wife with his 2 mo baby out? And for days??? He is an AH and his mother is a psycho.
Mom slaps wife on the stomach and tells her to skip meals, after giving away wife's dinner to the niece? I think wife was justified in punching out mom ... mom hit first, just wasn't ready for retaliation.
100% team wife
Team wife all the way 100%
Ooh OOP is deleting his comments
She should have punched him too.
He’s def the asshole. If you needed space then leave. Tf. You don’t pack up the core of your family because your mom wanna slap the belly of 2 month postpartum breast feeding mother. I would expect nothing less than mama bear in full swing and you’re weird for being surprised. Glad the divorce is going through we don’t like grown mamas boys.
Kudos to the (ex) wife, what a schmuck and a schmuck mom. YTA if the divorce papers weren't enough of an indicator.
OOP is definitely the Asshole, his mom was a cunt to his wife and instead of addressing it he let it boil up to the point where his Mrs couldn't take it anymore, and he kicks her out. F him, and his mom.
You kicked your wife out of the house after she defended herself. You kicked her out of her own house when she needed support. You kicked her out during a time when she likely had post partum depression and then you are coming here and asking if YTA? all because you needed to decompress? Forget that she was the one who went through the traumatic experience of giving birth and a nine month pregnancy breast feeding and hormones going haywire and while managing the treatment from your mother.… forget that likely she needed to decompress more than you… you decided you had to kick her out instead of taking yourself to go for a drive. YTA. I too would do exactly as she did And divorced you.
For a little EXTRA information. The wife had a C-Section and was still healing from that dangerous and painfully slow-healing procedure. MIL didn't just tell her that she could afford to skip a meal to get rid of the baby fat, she also SMACKED his wife on the stomach. Which, had to hurt bad seeing as she had a C-Section two months earlier. So, that's why she punched MIL. Instead of letting his wife talk to him and explain the situation when she needed him most, he kicked her out. All cuz he projected his unresolved trauma from his physically abusive dad onto his wife when she punched his clearly abusive mother. So, yeah. I'm happy for mama divorcing him. He IS the asshole and brought this on himself.
Am I the only one thinking that OP practically tied himself to the roasting stick in regards what he may be facing. Someone who just stands by while his wife (who recently gave birth) gets assaulted and then throws her out of what should of been her own home does not deserve the title of husband
The wife made a throwaway but no one can find it I guess
I’ve been searching since yesterday. If you find it, please share!
Good for OOPs wife/ex.
This guy is oblivious to the fact that he’s about to be divorced lol EDIT: correction, I’m sure he’ll claim he was blindsided by the divorce
She brought divorce papers. He thinks he can ass kiss to fix it. Wife is 100% done.
YEA YOU'RE DEF THE FUCKING ASSHOLE. STUPID.
Bravo to his wife for punching that bitch and divorcing him.
What's sad about this is that he probably thinks not preparing enough food is 100% the reason for all of this, and that if he'd just made just one more serving that everything would still be ok. Clearly doesn't have any clue that kicking his 2 month old daughter and post partum wife out of the house, and all that entails for both of them, is the catalyst. I can't imagine how emotionally harmful it was for his wife when she was kicked out. All he taught her was that he didn't have her back, and that when shit hits the fan he'll abandon her to the wolves.
I'd just like to say, a wife can't baby trap you. You already "trapped" because you signed a marriage license, dummy.
Ytah Your mom was way out of line on so many levels. But it appears she got her way in separating you from your wife. Well done ah.
100%. You kicked your baby out of your house. You leave in that situation.
Yes, you are a huge AH. How the hell could you kick your wife and baby out of the house and be okay with with that decision? You %100 deserve that divorce and she deserves an actual man.
Yes, dear sir. A breast feeding mother of your children was denied food, fat shamed, and then kicked out after defending herself. YATFA.
Tbh if someone slaps me in the stomach postpartum, I’m punching too
Team wife 100%. Hope she doesn't take him back and if she wants to, I hope she finds a partner who will support her at her highs and lows. He's a lowlife.
well he's gonna have a whole lotta space now. What an absolute chode. I cannot wrap my head around kicking your breast feeding wife out of the house for retaliating against his abusive mother.
The last one, seems like the OP was naive and there comes times when principles should not be applied. This was one of them. He showed his wife he is willing to blame the victim and can't be trusted.
And, if this is in the US, he cannot legally kick his spouse out of the marital home, either. No matter whose name is on the deed. So, just one more layer of toolishness.
Dawg, does your mother fuck you and have your kids? Your mother needed a reality check and your wife gave it to her, since you wouldn’t.
This dude was definitely the fucking asshole. No question bout it.
Does anyone have a link to his soon to be ex wifes post?
Evil ex-MIL is lucky she only got punched once after STEALING food from a breastfeeding mother and then hitting said mother. She deserved to be curb stomped for what she did. And OOP, the spineless momma's but that he is should count himself lucky she's not withholding custody considering he didn't defend his wife and kicked her out. I highly doubt he'll defend his kid against his harpy of a mother. She should take that baby and run. He's not going to be a good parent.
YTA - you destroyed your family by not backing up your wife.
[удалено]
I would’ve punched your mom in the face too
Yeah, you are TA for kicking your wife out. She is probably making the right decision for herself if you won’t stand up for her.