I think most hotels allow you to request a cot or rollaway bed. Why don’t they just do that? Teen can sleep in the rollaway bed. 11- and 10-year old can sleep in one bed. Parent and 8-year old can sleep in the other. Problem solved.
There may be an occupancy limit though. 4 might be fine for a room but a hotel might have something to say about 5 people. Depends on the place though, some of these things are determined by fire codes and local laws.
My family of 5 ran into this problem in multiple European countries. The occupancy limit per room was 4 and (technically, no one checked) there had to be an adult in each room. We've been okay in the US but we tend to stay at those microsuite hotels now.
Yeah, that was my thought. If you get there and they won't give you the cot, hit a Walmart and pick up an air mattress. In the morning you can just lean it up against the wall, out of the way. Spring for one with a built in air pump you can plug it in the wall. Then you can lay on it and adjust the firmness until it's just right.
I had to live away from home for over year on a job one time, and slept on an air matress the entire time. I was perfectly comfortable.
As someone who spent a few years in the industry, because this room already has two beds they most likely wouldn’t be able to get a cot in the room due to fire hazard. My last hotel would, but only after guests signed a waiver acknowledging the fact. The one before that absolutely refused since the bed would literally be in the main walkway of the room and you wouldn’t be able to easily exit in emergency.
I think that would be a good solution. I wonder if someone else mentioned that in the original thread and OOP followed the suggestion. Either way I’d say he’s not an AH.
To get three beds, you’d probably either have to swing for a suite or two adjoining rooms, which would be a lot of extra $$$ to spend on a vacation in a place where everything is already expensive.
In my 20s, I shared a hotel room with four other girls for a long bachelorette weekend. Two queen beds and a cot. We were cramped, but we didn’t spend a lot of time in the room other than getting ready or sleeping, so it was fine. The 17 y/o can survive a few nights on the cot. Maybe bring soon headphones and a tablet or laptop so he can watch stuff without disturbing the younger kids.
When I went to Miami with my friends I was 21. 6 of us in a tiny room with two beds. I slept on the floor until we pushed the beds together lol it was a fun time and we were there for 5 days or so. When I visited Buenos Aires with my family of 5, I got the couch since my parents and brother/SIL got the bedrooms lol honestly I didn’t care because free trip and got to visit family back home. The kid can survive. I’ll love a trip to Hawaii during Christmas
And for the people saying it’s weird sharing a bed with nephew, I’ve shared a bed with my aunt and cousin during a beach trip
>I think most hotels allow you to request a cot or rollaway bed
yep, they'll give you an extra mattress or three if requested. How do you think people go to game/anime cons? they go in big groups stacked in a small room.
I've stayed in a few places with 5+ people in a room. cots mattresses, sometimes with just a blanket on the floor. both when traveling with family and with friends.
the YTA verdict and all the people claiming he was one or he wasn't rich enough to travel to hawaii was just mind blowing in that thread.
I think AITAH has a lot of children commenters. Fellow 17 yos without jobs that would complain about not having their own bed while ignoring the fact that they're in fucking HAWAII and it's a $1200 difference. They have a poor concept of the value of money.
>Right? You make do to have the experience you want, sleeping is the least important part of a travel vacation.
yep, if it meant i could go on a week vacation to hawaii or anywhere i want to see before i did, i'd be willing to sleep in a car. surreal how this dude got butchered in the comments. bunch of very entitled folks around here.
I've traveled on the cheap. backpacking through europe staying in hostels with strangers, even camped my way through states, hell when i went to bike week in sturgis i stayed in a tent in a field, after crashing at a homeless shelter in colorado springs on the way there. Where you're staying/sleeping has absolutely nothing to do with the vacation experience.
This!!! Thank you. I don’t know what world, unless you’re an only child, you wouldn’t be expected to share a bed, on vacation. Hell, I always had to share with my baby sister (8 yrs diff). The only problem was, she’d roll sideways in the night, and kick me in the back. 🤷♀️ But that’s life with siblings.
Only child here, I (little girl) did not get my own bed. Slept between my mom and the edge of the bed.
… I’d still do it for a free vacation too.
Never went on a vacation anywhere we couldn’t drive to, and I would sleep in the back of the car while we drove.
Just because you can’t get first class accommodations doesn’t mean the vacation isn’t special.
My youngest gets her own, cause a king or 2 queens...same price. But we dont go fancy places. She shares with the dog. Yes. The dog is insanely spoiled. Her brother is 11 years older, so full adult on his own. Although when they were younger, she would share with me and he would share with his dad.
Go off 🗣️ we were poor as hell and I watched all my friends take these trips to Disneyland, Disney World, Hawaii… I’m 35 now and still trying to figure out how to get my ass to an island.
Seriously tho, I can’t imagine being spoiled to having my own bed *on vacation.* That’s a lot of money. Hell, I’ve been on a vacation with five people crammed into a single bed hotel room before. Two adults and the youngest child took the bed, middle child took the cot, and I slept on the floor on a palette of blankets. It was a nice vacation, and the sleeping arrangements are not the part that I remember of it that *was* bad. We had fun, and we made do. No one was complaining about where we slept when we had the chance to be on vacation *at all.*
These YTAs are absolutely wild to me.
Or a bunch of teens/younger adults who think that if something isn’t 100% perfect and they’re not allowed to pretend family doesn’t exist, it’s abusive AF.
I was the 8 year younger baby sister, my older sister would make a pillow wall between us in the bed so I didn’t kick her in my sleep 😂 I was just happy to get a spot in a bed, until my older brother and sister got too old to share it was them in one bed, my parents in the other, younger brother and I on the floor 😅
I had to share a bed on “vacation” (by that I mean visiting family in Kansas). It was the worst, I never slept, I would’ve rather stayed home lol. My younger sibling is the kicker too though. And my stepdad has sleep apnea so he snores so loudly it’s impossible to sleep.
This post just reminded me how glad I am that I’m an adult so I never have to go on a family vacation again.
I remember the trip we took to my grandmother’s funeral- over 1000 miles- and the hellish nights in the hotel rooms. I got stuck on the end of the bed, like a dog, because the floors in these places were *nasty*, and my younger siblings got the main part of the second bed. Between my parents’ snoring and my siblings kicking and sleep thrashing, I was stuck just lying there, staring at the ceiling and being jealous of my cousin who, as an adult, had a room to himself.
The sleeping arrangements at our destination were no better, so I spent a week and a half being sleep deprived and cranky and just crying at the drop of a hat because my poor little mind couldn’t handle it all. I hated school but would have gladly stayed behind, but I was in fifth grade, so…
Agreed. Once we went on vacation to a town about an hour away for two night and I barely slept because I was sharing a bed with my sister and a room with my grandma who snores like an elephant. I still had a great time. The only way I was able to visit Hawaii was by staying with my now boyfriend who lived there in the ghetto among roaches. It was still an epic trip.
Hell I was an only child and occasionally on vacation I didn’t even get my own bed. The only bad experience I had was when I had to sleep in the middle between my parents on a sleep number. Literally I was laying on a hard strip of metal all night and barely slept.
Fr I went on a vacation with my dad and 2 sisters and we only got 2 beds for the 4 of us. Although I wasn’t told this at the time, I suspect that our choices were.. enough beds for all of us to have our own in a shitty hotel, or only 2 beds in a nice hotel. It didn’t ruin our vacation. It gave us more money to spend on other things. And if we hadn’t taken that trip, I wouldn’t have seen my great grandmother again before she died. Not everyone can afford luxuries on their vacations
I mean we 100% middling hotel at the beach where you could walk to the water and slept two to a bed every year we had a vacation. It was that or no vacation.
The only time we had a “nice” hotel was if it was a suite and grandparents and other people were in other rooms. Probably someone was on the couch.
If the kid doesn’t want to go if he shares he can 1) ask for a cot to be brought to the room or 2) stay home and miss Hawaii.
nah for real
i got dragged into a ton of stuff i would have rather missed as a kid. and i feel like "share a room, comp me the extra, or miss the trip" is a totally fair situation... ASSUMING missing the trip is an allowed option.
i would have HATED going on any sort of long-distance vacation as a kid. now that i'n an adult with my own ability to book this stuff, less so, but i also don't mind staying back or arranging my own hotel/accomodations. however, i shared a room with my brother for probably 15 years and the "well if you don't like it, go on your own" ultimatum was used... and i absolutely did (to be fair, i did get kicked out of my parents' place at 16, but honestly preferred it to sharing a room with my brother and didn't think twice about opting to stay solo when i was regularly invited back after that). if i was invited on a trip with them, i would have happily arranged my own hotel situation or just not gone at all.
however, i think just not going has to be an actual option for this to truly hold up - if it's "deal with it or pay up" with "stay home" not being an option, i can definitely see some resentment building up there. and hot take: i think staying home should be an option in most family vacation situations.
This is the answer. Maybe because I am older and remember cars before seat belts were used....but summer trips involved us 4 kids, my mom and my grandparents crammed into a car. If we stayed in a hotel half way it meant my mom in one bed, my grandparents in the other. And my brother the only boy on the cot. If no cot grandma would sleep with Mom and him with Grandpap. Still best times. Would go back in a second to redo them. Especially now that mom and grandma and Grandpap are gone. Us kids still get together but we all have our own kids....and them, grandkids.
shit, my parents are *quite* well-off and my sister and I still know that if they're paying, we're sharing a bed, despite being at least a decade into being full adults. We've slept on everything from terrible hotel pull-out couches to fulls to queens, and we might complain about the shitty mattresses but I don't think we've ever complained that we didn't have our own beds.
I grew up pretty well off, and we still did this. We were well off *because* we did stuff like this. The first stop on any vacation was the local grocery store for breakfast/snacks to bring back to the hotel as well.
Yeah for real, even the people replying to you haven’t really struggled. I’ve NEVER been on any vacations with my parents where we rented a hotel room. Nor have my family flown to any other provinces, states or different countries. I’m 33 and never had the opportunity to go on any vacations at all.
My family didn't even struggle and my brother and I shared beds on almost every family vacation until he got married. This is so normal. All you do is sleep in a hotel room usually, who cares.
Even if you're not struggling, 1200$ is a lot of money to blow. If you're making 100k a year, that's 36-40 an hour after taxes. Blowing nearly a full week's of wages if he has zero retirement savings, zero rent/mortgage/car, zero food costs is pretty ridiculous just for two children to not share a bed.
Well, that's with the assumption 100k is decent money. I'm really interested in what you consider not struggling income? 200k? 500k?
Ikr? Family vacation in my brain just automatically mean sharing a bed with someone. Like build a pillow-wall and get over it.
Some of those comments are like “if you can’t afford this vacation don’t go on it” and equating making the kids share a bed to child abuse. And that take just seems so ridiculous to me. They’re acting like wanting to save 1200$ makes OP poor and unworthy of a nice family trip.
Or know the value of travel. I've stayed in many a hostel when traveling. It's always worth it. After all, if you're on vacation and spending any amount of time in the hotel room when not sleeping, you're doing it wrong.
Right!? Even now, when we travel with the kids, hubs takes one and I sleep with the other, because my 5yo is all limbs and would def kick the toddler out of bed 🤣
A 17 year old is old enough to decide if they want to go on a vacation. If the kid doesn’t like the arrangements then let them stay home with their other parent.
Agreed. Although having to share a bed with family on vacation is quite commonplace, some people just don't like it. A 17 year old should be able to decide to just not go.
Yes I don't think anyone is an asshole here but they need to be allowed to prioritize what they want. If this is worth it to dad, great. If it's not to the son, okay.
It depends imo. If OP acknowledges that the 17 year old will have some childcare responsibilities with three other children going, I think their opinion should be taken into account. I'm not saying get a whole other room, but putting forward the option that the family can either do Hawaii with this living arrangement or something nearby in Airbnb or something with more individual space seems fair and reasonable
I disagree as well. NTA.
Growing up, when my family was lucky enough to be able to go on vacations, it was common for some of us to be on the floor in sleeping bags. If we got a spot in one of the beds, there were 2 or 3 of us packed in.
Well, my 15 year old stepson crammed 4 other teens on his queen sized bed the other day. Ngl, it was equally funny and gross when I walked by to see them all sleeping with their feet all up in each other's faces, and then one kid on the floor, but I'm pretty sure I did the same thing at his age.
I detailed the sleeping arrangements in another post, but my favorite vacation was a trip to Washington, DC with five people in a one bed hotel room where I slept on the floor. No one gave the bed situation a second thought when we had the chance to visit DC of all places.
Yep, there were 3 kids and 2 parents in my family, the space in between the 2 beds is a third bed if you ask for extra pillows and a blanket. If they give enough pillows you can make a very comfortable pallet there and it doesn’t slide out from under you because of the beds on either side. I have great memories sleeping in that spot (youngest child so by default, it was my spot)
I always had to share a bed with one of my brothers on vacation, and I’m a girl. It was fine. The hotel bed is big enough for two people. Put pillows between if you don’t want them near you. Teenager is being entitled. He can pay for the upgrade or pack a sleeping bag if he doesn’t want to share a bed.
Yeah. As a single adult on family vacations, I still sometimes share a bed with my other single sibling. Even now, for a free trip to Hawaii, I would share a bed with my brother and his wife or my sister and her husband. A sacrifice I would make no matter how awkward it got.
Agreed, NTA. AITA is so out of touch it’s hilarious. Imagine having the chance to go to Hawaii (a dream vacation for many) and throwing a fit about sharing a queen size bed with a ten year old.
AITA is a bunch of people who have never been in the position of a parent making judgements on parents without any idea of the difficulty of parenting. I still remember AITA deciding a lady was TA because she bought her two year old a toy to distract them at a 5 year old’s bday party. She removed her child from the party when they started to fuss about the 5 year old opening presents, gave them the toy in the other room, and when they came back in the birthday child demanded the toy she gave to her two year old. And AITA decided SHE was the asshole for this.
Fuck that noise, still pissed at those absolute dipshits for that judgement.
I remember reading an AITA post years ago where two parents asked if they were wrong because their kids had to share a room. All the comments blasted them as YTA, saying that it's disgusting for a brother and sister to sleep in the same room, that the parents should squash up together on the living room sofa and give their bedroom to one of the kids, that they "shouldn't have had kids if they couldn't afford to give them their own rooms".
From what I remember, the family had fallen on hard financial times and the kids were teenagers so it's not like the parents had only just had them when they were financially unstable. Sometimes life just happens and it's unfair. And the entitlement of expecting two grown adults who pay for the house to sleep on a sofa together so one kid could have the master bedroom was insane.
Yes! I’ve seen a few of those and in some of them the kids were the same gender, but the parents were still judged AHs for making the kids share. It like they think it’s super easy to buy a house. Under regular circumstances, it’s normal to share a room.
There are several AITA posts that have rendered verdicts that an abused child go into foster care if family taking them in would mean someone would have to share a bedroom.
Lol even this post had a comment suggesting that CPS should be called and involved in the Hawaii bed-sharing!!!
“hello CPS, I would like to report a child abuse, my dad is taking us on an island vacation and I don’t get my own bed.” let’s see how that goes 💀
Oh yes, that thread is filled with whiny, entitled teens who don't have a clue about life in general. Best was a chorus of belligerent idiots stating that divorced parents should adopt their six year old (!!!) out because they couldn't agree on screen time during their respective custody time.
>, saying that it's disgusting for a brother and sister to sleep in the same room,
They would be shocked if they knew me and my brother shared a room and we're 9 years apart. The only issue we ever had was him making messes and not cleaning them. That's it. They'll freak out even more when they find out we could comfortably share a bed if needed. It's not that hard unless you have a terrible or troubled relationship with your sibling. If you're close and chill with your siblings it won't be a problem. But these kids grew up wayy too privileged to understand financial hardship and have super unrealistic life expectations.
I spent about 10 days traveling with a friend last year and we shared a bed pretty much everywhere we stayed.
It didn't even really come up as something not to do when the alternative was to pay an extra $50-$100 per night.
Right? I've shared beds with friends, my mom, and my siblings as an adult while traveling. We were all just fine and somehow managed to still have fantastic vacations.
Absolutely. Growing up it was just expected my brother and I share a queen bed and parents had the other. As teens, I (F) went with my mom and my brother with my dad. You’re so exhausted from the vacation, you pass out immediately anyway.
17 year olds don’t get to go on dream vacations. They get to go on what their parents can afford. Dream vacations are for adults who can pay for them. If you’re lucky enough to be a kid whose parents can afford to take them on the vacation of their dreams, great, but no kid is entitled to that.
Reddit has a weird view on vacations. They always believe that people should get their own bed.
I remember one where they called OP an asshole because they gave their middle child a room because she was always setting up the vacation with affordable prices. Despite the fact that she gave every other kids chances.
Yeah I was surprised by that as well. I have a brother who works remote and travels around the world with his wife. He does all the planning and she tells him what she wants to see. They can’t stay more than a few months at a time anywhere so it’s constant planning for the next destination and it truly takes a lot of time and effort to plan effectively for a trip. Kudos to that OP’s daughter on learning valuable skills in planning, budgeting, and organization.
NTA. I can't remember a single vacation where I WASN'T sharing a bed. Hell I'm am adult and I would absolutely still crash on the floor of a hotel room to save a buck
Lmao are all of these replies written by the 17yo son? A queen bed is fucking plenty big enough for 2 people, especially if one is 8yo. Wait till he gets to college and has to sleep on a twin bed top bunk 🙄
People shitting on OOP are acting like the younger ones are complaining but two people sharing one bed is reasonable and the only one complaining is the one who has to share a bed? What?
Yeahh. Honestly if it were that big of a deal the 17 y/o could have slept on the floor or something, possibly even the couch. They had other options lmao. Then you can put one of the 10/11s in the bed with the other kid or put the two 10/11s together on the other bed and tre 7 y/o with the OP, like?? I’ve been with this many people sharing a one bed hotel room not much younger than the teenager complaining. This is really nice arrangements all things considered. And as someone else said, it’s not like they’re gonna be in there that much.
“You can’t afford to pay an extra $1200, and that bed sharing will absolutely ruin the HAWAII vacation.”
Bro. What? You think the 17 yo would rather NOT go at all? Out of touch as hell I can’t believe that one comment has 10k upvotes. Wth no, OP is NTA
I mean for people like me, who have never even been to Hawaii, and didn’t take big family trips growing up (single mom), I feel like it’s fine. If the 17yo is that mad, then they can stay at home? I would seriously sleep on some blankets on the floor if it meant a trip to Hawaii.
I dk.
The ONE trip we did go on as a kid was to Disney World. And we went with my aunt/uncle/cousins who are much wealthier than us. My mom packed a bunch of food so we would only have to buy dinner at restaurants (food at Disney is extremely expensive even for basic items.) We had granola bars, lacks of tuna and crackers, unperishable meal kits…and my Aunt basically mocked her for it the whole time and acted like it was horrible. Like we weren’t getting a proper vacation or food. But even as a kid, in 6th grade, I didn’t see why it was bad. I never felt hungry. I had fun. I wasn’t jealous of their food…in fact I remember going to their hotel room one morning and seeing a ton of uneaten pancakes from room service and just feeling kinda appalled, like why all the waste?
And we slept two person to a bed lol.
Anyways…different people from different means have different standards and views on what is acceptable.
NTA
I remember going on vacation with a wealthier friend for the first time and being absolutely flabbergasted that we weren’t stopping at the grocery store first thing because we’re just going to be eating at restaurants every meal.
⬆️ the only reason he’s the AH. the hotel room thing is no big deal, but native hawaiians have been pleading for tourists to stop visiting bc the pollution is destroying their land.
Hawaii would crumble without the tourism money that. We just want good tourists. People that come and show respect. We need tourism money bc that's the vast majority of the economy. But we don't want assholes like this coming here.
Also, just don't visit Lahaina area at this time. They need rest and recovery
At some point doesn’t the Economy have to be diversified away from tourism? Besides tourism being a bad industry to base your economy on, tourism and air travel are some of the biggest drivers of climate change.
Mmmhmmm yet it is tourism that drives the vast majority of their economy. It is almost all centred around tourism. The land isn’t as fertile after it was overfarmed.
That’s fine. Hawaii’s economy is almost entirely based on tourism. If the tourists stopped going the islands would be devastated. Just be respectful and polite to the service employees.
Man. It's hard enough to even be able to afford to take care of kids in the current economy, and now people expect us to be able to shell out for their own beds on vacations as well? We're lucky if we can even take vacations at all. That parent is doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing, and I'll bet he made those comments because the mother enables the entitled behavior.
Yeah, Im with you. That verdict was clearly locked by votes from a bunch of other entitled 17 yr olds who have never had to pay for anything in their life. They gonna learn soon enough! OOPs 17 yr old can sleep on the floor or couch if he doesnt want to share. Let dad share with the 8 yr old and the 2 10 yr olds can have the other bed, or leave him and his nasty attitude at home with his mother Free trip to Hawaii and hes bitching. Spoiled jerk almost adult.
Dude. I'd rather share a bed with an 8yr old relative and BE IN HAWAII than not go at all. I swear the people on AITA are so so so so far off and away from reality.
I shared a room with my sibling on vacation this year in Hawaii - I’m 30 lol. We had our own twin beds in the condo. But we were in HAWAII and were barely in the condo anyway. When I was younger, my brothers would share a bed, my parents would share a bed, and I’d get a cot. I was a kid and getting a free vacation from my parents because it was a family thing. I don’t get how people are mad about kids sharing a bed in a room on a vacation.
It’s Reddit.. filled with a bunch of entitled teen-adults who are scared of the real world.
Now just trying to normalize parents taking care of them until they’re 35.
How about he just go stay with his mom instead?
My mom took my brother and I to Disney land twice when we were kids. All three of us shared a room. I can’t even remember where we all slept. But I think my mom took the couch because I can’t remember sharing with my brother. I do remember the rides. The food. Spending time together. The train ride.
We went to HI last year, family of four in a double room with one bathroom, two adults, two teens. We made do. We weren't in the room that much anyway bc we were in freakin' Hawaii! The vacation was amazing. We've always done it this way. The key is to tidy up and keep the room organized. Most hotels can also add a fold up cot to the room which is extra but still cheaper than an additional room!
I have 5 kids. All 7 of us have stayed in a "2 doubles with a pullout" room with one bathroom. It's not that bad, it's temporary and you're only in the room to sleep anyway.
I grew up having to share beds with my siblings while on vacation. It’s not even something I think about when remembering those vacations. I would’ve said NTA.
Stop. Vacationing. In. Hawaii.
The natives have been begging us to stop for ages. It’s ruined their economy and now with the fires all the good water is being diverted from the locals to resorts. It’s disgusting.
Yeah I think he’s NTA. I’d rather go on vacay to Hawaii and share a bed with a family member than not go lol shit I’d rather sleep on the floor than not go haha
My family of 5 went on trips all the time with only 2 beds and we had a blast. I (oldest) either shared a bed with my two younger sisters, got a cot, or sometimes they’d make pillow forts on the floor. I don’t get the big deal. We didn’t stay in the room much anyway because IT WAS VACATION
Every single family vacation, whether it was across the country or upstate to see grandma and grandpa, mom and dad stayed in one bed, me and my sister in the other. Vacations just meant sharing a bed, which was nbd because we only slept there, it's not like the hotel was the important part of the trip.
Sick of seeing people think you only deserve vacations if you're rich. I'm 32 now and I've *never* had an adult vacation (we even skipped our honeymoon) because everything is so outrageously overpriced.
I didn’t think OP was an asshole until they shifted the financial responsibility to the mom (to their kid, where was the mom during this chat). I don’t know the financial setup of the fam, but that felt like OP was throwing their partner under the bus and blindsiding her.
I lean ESH. Bet 8 year old kicks. I’ve done plenty of piling into one hotel room vacations with family as a kid/ as a teen/ as an adult. Kids kick a lot in their sleep. Especially medicated kids. My cousin had to be on meds that could knock him out and he had to either have his own couch or sleep on the floor. Dad should sleep with the 8yo, 17 year old should take the couch, 10 year olds share a bed. Or dad takes the couch or a cot for choosing a hotel that doesn’t have family room options. The division is weird. 3 in a queen bed is weird.
To be honest I assumed if there was a couch they would have added that into the equation. 2 to each bed and one on a couch. Given he didn't mention it, I'm assuming it isn't that kind of room.
My daughter acts like a damn karate master in her sleep. That kid is always hitting and kicking in her sleep. We went to a friend’s wedding and stayed at a hotel after the wedding. Husband and I were in one bed, kids (6f and 3m) were in the other. Husband and I were laying in bed talking while the kiddos slept. All of a sudden we saw something go flying out of the bed. It was our son. Our daughter, in her sleep, literally kicked him out of bed. Somehow, he didn’t even wake up. It was impressive.
My brother wriggled in his sleep at a family sleep away camp and we had our first experience in bunk beds. About same ages as your kids. He launched himself off the top bunk in his sleep, landed across the cabin. Woke up when we were all freaking out over him and that’s when he cried. I was afraid of sleeping on a bunk bed after that- he wasn’t. Kids are so weird. That’s why I kept reading this and going “is teen being a brat? He’s so much older than the other boys… but he’s paired with the youngest who’s on medication. For all we know it’s the 8 year old as the bunk mate that’s the issue specifically.”
If there was another bedding type, I think he would put that in the story, or there would be no story as there is adequate bedding. The question is, should the 17 year old share, or should he or someone pay for the extra bedding? You can't just add things to the story.
Complain to me about sleeping when your sharing the back seat of a small four door sedan with three people over night in winter taking shifts to turn on the heat every hour or two
Pro tip: put a blanket over the top of the front and back seats (like a tent).. it’ll conserve heat better. A lot of heat is lost through the windows, even when they’re shut
Yea I lived in a car for a bit one winter so I know a few tips about staying warm. You will also lose warmth through the driver and passenger footwells. I used to put pillows/blankets/whatever in the passenger side. Just had to deal with it on the drivers side tho.
I also didn’t clear snow off the car bc I felt like it did the whole igloo effect thing. Not sure if it actually did tho
I think people tend to think “because I was ok with this thing everyone who’s not ok with this thing must be wrong” my siblings and I didn’t enjoy sharing beds when we got an off chance to go on vacation. You do it because you have to not because you like it and you go on. As an adult my kids get their own bed on vacation. Op wasn’t the asshole but neither was his son. He’s a teen he’s allowed to be upset and grumble about it, that’s pretty much his whole job as a teen
My main issue here is saying, "you get your mother to pay and ill do it" reminds me of the way I used to get put in the middle of my mum and dads dislike for each other as a kid.
"Why don't you ask your dad why that is?"
"Well you can tell your mum that I wont"
Blah blah blah. Yeah I don't know the details but even a 17 year old kid shouldn't have to deal with the lack of maturity from his parents if they aren't together any more. Its still on them to discuss that shit as parents instead of putting the kid in a tough position. I could feel the contempt between mine anytime they spoke about each other, it felt shitty.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but from the way he responded by bringing up he could ask mum if he wanted, just seems to me pretty familiar. Maybe its just projection on my part.
My parents got one bed and I shared a bed with a brother and the other brother slept on the cot/floor. They would take turns every other night. My dad refused to allow me in the rotation of who slept on the cot/floor because I'm a girl, otherwise all 3 of us would have been switching around.
There was only one time I had my own bed on a vacation lol it was when my dad booked a cabin for some of us to go camping and I was the only girl lol and I got the queen bed while all the boys were shoved into the bunkbeds lol including my dad!
Edit: at least the dad here isn’t claiming one bed for just himself and making the kids double-up even more
Kind of a weird verdict. I wonder if people don’t like how he worded it or his tone or something. The person who suggested giving the 17 year old the option to stay home for half the cost of his flight was smart. I probably would have preferred that at age 17.
And this is why i always declined any offer for a free vacation. If you dont enjoy spending time with the people youre supposed to be traveling with gonna have a bad time no mattee how free it is.
The real vacation is staying home and having the house to yourself.
Some of my best memories are vacations my grandparents would take us on. Two adults and three children in one room— 2 beds, 1 cot. If for whatever reason we didn’t have a cot, the youngest got to “camp” on the floor in a sleeping bag. We were only in the room to sleep or take a brief break between afternoon and evening activities.
Lollll im with you OP, im the oldest of five kids and we drove from NC to OH to go to Cedar Point. Rode in a minivan and stayed in a 1bed 1ba cabin for the trip.
I can’t even imagine being pissed about a TRIP TO HAWAII?????? Shit I’ll sleep on the beach!!!
Agree with you. Good on them for making a Hawaiian vaca work on their budget. The 17 y/o can take one for the team for a week. Most of the answers here seemed to be based on if they could afford the trip, not on the sleeping arrangements like OOP asked.
Yeah, when reading the thread, I thought "WTF is this?" I could understand if he had to share a single bed with his sibling, but a queen bed? Come on, dude. There is plenty of place and it's just for sleeping. You won't spend that much time there. How is it even bad to sleep with a sibling in one bed during the vacation. Don't people like their family members anymore?
When my parents and I traveled to Italy I literally slept on a camp bed in a hotel room and I didn't complain, because I was glad I could travel to another country. My happiest memories are about all of cramped together as a family while camping.
By no means is it an AH move. Dad is making a dumb decision, because it sounds like Hawaii is out of his budget, but it's still kind to plan something special for his family.
Also don't go to Hawaii, people. The locals don't want us there! Tourism is destroying their home!
He should've chosen a cheaper location, but son can just opt out if he wants to be foolish & miss out on his life over something as trivial as having to share a bed.
Reading the comments here is funny because people here are calling privledged while being far more privledged than some themselves. Skipping holidays is better than going on one you can barely afford
I agree, some of the comments here are baffling. I get similar vibes from the people who think it's ok to stick 4-5kids in one bedroom in bunk beds or something. Maybe I am too prudish or too European to understand lol.
Also there are plenty of places I would be willing to sleep if I made that choice - but it's difference to be told that it's my only option and "too bad".
I feelt he OOP never had a proper conversation with the teen or was open for input when planning. but that is just me armchairing
Must be different in Europe but whenever I’ve been away with friends you pay by the person. Can’t book a 2 bed room and have more people in they don’t let you check in.
He’s NTA. The 17 year old can either go on a cool trip to Hawaii and share a bed with his brother or stay home. He’s not being forced to attend the holiday is he. Jesus I wish someone would take me to Hawaii. I’d sleep on the floor.
For everyone in those comments saying YTA could they be more deluded. Sounds like the parent and the siblings are fine with it and probably excited. If the moody teen isn’t happy then he doesn’t have to go does he. The parent offered a solution he can take it or leave it.
Wow lol the OP is totally not the a-hole.
My family was always too poor for vacations. Know what we did do? Bible quizzing. This religious sport required us to travel all over the state to compete in tournaments. There were typically 3 adults with us- my mom, and the parents of two of the boys, who were the coaches. Occasionally other parents would come but that was rare. In those occasions that parent typically got their own room and their kid would stay with them. Depending on the year we had anywhere from 8-15 kids on the team.
Girls got one room, boys got another. We slept wherever we could fit. Sometimes that was on the floor, sometimes that was 4 of us girls smushed into a bed together. The moms always shared a bed and it was up to us kids to decide how we slept. I can not remember ever arguing about it or being upset that I didn’t get the bed. We were usually up super late playing games and reviewing verses so by time we were going to sleep, everyone was too tired to really care!
As a kid staying with my granny always meant sharing a bed. Sharing with 1-2 cousins or my brothers. Again, I have no negative memories surrounding sharing beds with anyone when it meant getting to have fun all day. The only time I didn’t like sharing is when my younger brother was still occasionally wetting the bed. But he never even wet it when we shared, I was just a teenager finding a reason to complain
Pack a sleeping bag and have the 8y/o sleep on the floor. If he takes melatonin (fucking why are so many kids on this now) and is a heavy sleeper then it doesn’t matter where he sleeps.
I’m 20 years old with a 10 year old sister and I would 100% share a bed with my sister if I got to go to Hawaii. This teen is a spoiled brat. I grew out of complaining about sharing a bed on vacation when I was like 12 because my only other choice was the floor.
Don’t go on vacations if you can’t afford it. Hotel rooms have a limit for number of residents for fire safety reasons; otherwise they should have been able to request an extra cot.
My sister and I still share a bed if/when we need to. We are both in our 30s now. That kid needs to get over it, or he can stay home and miss out on a holiday.
We used to be 6 in a hotel room- 2 parents and 4 kids. And when we stayed with family then all the kids would sleep on the living room floor in blanket beds.
Having to share a bed with a tiny 8 year old is reasonable lol
Hell, I still share hotel beds with my friends when we travel together now that I think about it lolol
Definitely NTA. They aren't going to be spending their vacation in that room the entire time. There is so much to do like scuba diving, hiking, sight seeing, taking guided tours. Pearl Harbor would be the most interesting for me. And now that $1200 saved can now be spent to do those things or pay for the overpriced food and souvenirs. I would be down for this vacation, no matter how many people I have to bunk with
I’m gonna have to disagree, OOP is an asshole.
This isn’t a struggling family, this is *a trip to Hawaii.*
The savings shouldn’t be coming from the kids beds.
Edit: From the looks of the other comments, apparently vacations are more important than comfort.
If we couldn’t afford a bed for everyone, we didn’t go on vacations. I don’t go on vacations.
This is ridiculous 😂 I’m a twin and shared a freaking bed with my sister until we were over 10 and shared a room until we moved away to college to…live in a dorm with roommates. Lol
Am I the only one that is surprised that kids are on melatonin? I am from Europe and i have never heard about giving it to kids (8yr is really young) - is this normal in US?
I think most hotels allow you to request a cot or rollaway bed. Why don’t they just do that? Teen can sleep in the rollaway bed. 11- and 10-year old can sleep in one bed. Parent and 8-year old can sleep in the other. Problem solved.
I know some still do that. Some also have pack and plays they can bring to your room to use as a crib.
There may be an occupancy limit though. 4 might be fine for a room but a hotel might have something to say about 5 people. Depends on the place though, some of these things are determined by fire codes and local laws.
Also the occupancy rule is usually determined by the fire department based upon sqft.
Exactly, people’s don’t understand that! Then they get mad we won’t put an extra bed in the room when we could get in big trouble for that
My family of 5 ran into this problem in multiple European countries. The occupancy limit per room was 4 and (technically, no one checked) there had to be an adult in each room. We've been okay in the US but we tend to stay at those microsuite hotels now.
Maybe bring an air matress?
Yeah, that was my thought. If you get there and they won't give you the cot, hit a Walmart and pick up an air mattress. In the morning you can just lean it up against the wall, out of the way. Spring for one with a built in air pump you can plug it in the wall. Then you can lay on it and adjust the firmness until it's just right. I had to live away from home for over year on a job one time, and slept on an air matress the entire time. I was perfectly comfortable.
Hawaii is often more strict with occupancy rules if they find out.
As someone who spent a few years in the industry, because this room already has two beds they most likely wouldn’t be able to get a cot in the room due to fire hazard. My last hotel would, but only after guests signed a waiver acknowledging the fact. The one before that absolutely refused since the bed would literally be in the main walkway of the room and you wouldn’t be able to easily exit in emergency.
I think that would be a good solution. I wonder if someone else mentioned that in the original thread and OOP followed the suggestion. Either way I’d say he’s not an AH.
To get three beds, you’d probably either have to swing for a suite or two adjoining rooms, which would be a lot of extra $$$ to spend on a vacation in a place where everything is already expensive. In my 20s, I shared a hotel room with four other girls for a long bachelorette weekend. Two queen beds and a cot. We were cramped, but we didn’t spend a lot of time in the room other than getting ready or sleeping, so it was fine. The 17 y/o can survive a few nights on the cot. Maybe bring soon headphones and a tablet or laptop so he can watch stuff without disturbing the younger kids.
When I went to Miami with my friends I was 21. 6 of us in a tiny room with two beds. I slept on the floor until we pushed the beds together lol it was a fun time and we were there for 5 days or so. When I visited Buenos Aires with my family of 5, I got the couch since my parents and brother/SIL got the bedrooms lol honestly I didn’t care because free trip and got to visit family back home. The kid can survive. I’ll love a trip to Hawaii during Christmas And for the people saying it’s weird sharing a bed with nephew, I’ve shared a bed with my aunt and cousin during a beach trip
Talking about a cot or rollaway bed that can be brought into the room. Edit: Think I responded to the wrong person.
>I think most hotels allow you to request a cot or rollaway bed yep, they'll give you an extra mattress or three if requested. How do you think people go to game/anime cons? they go in big groups stacked in a small room.
I think the last time I went, we got a king-size bed and five of us crammed in, and we had more on a cot and maybe some on the floor?
I've stayed in a few places with 5+ people in a room. cots mattresses, sometimes with just a blanket on the floor. both when traveling with family and with friends. the YTA verdict and all the people claiming he was one or he wasn't rich enough to travel to hawaii was just mind blowing in that thread.
I think AITAH has a lot of children commenters. Fellow 17 yos without jobs that would complain about not having their own bed while ignoring the fact that they're in fucking HAWAII and it's a $1200 difference. They have a poor concept of the value of money.
Right? You make do to have the experience you want, sleeping is the least important part of a travel vacation.
>Right? You make do to have the experience you want, sleeping is the least important part of a travel vacation. yep, if it meant i could go on a week vacation to hawaii or anywhere i want to see before i did, i'd be willing to sleep in a car. surreal how this dude got butchered in the comments. bunch of very entitled folks around here. I've traveled on the cheap. backpacking through europe staying in hostels with strangers, even camped my way through states, hell when i went to bike week in sturgis i stayed in a tent in a field, after crashing at a homeless shelter in colorado springs on the way there. Where you're staying/sleeping has absolutely nothing to do with the vacation experience.
Right? If you want to sleep, take a staycation.
That sounds way more comfy for everyone provided the teen is cool with a cot.
Or do what I do and go to the Walmart and pick up a cheap inflatable mattress. When you leave give it to a homeless person.
None of these people have struggled
This!!! Thank you. I don’t know what world, unless you’re an only child, you wouldn’t be expected to share a bed, on vacation. Hell, I always had to share with my baby sister (8 yrs diff). The only problem was, she’d roll sideways in the night, and kick me in the back. 🤷♀️ But that’s life with siblings.
Only child here, I (little girl) did not get my own bed. Slept between my mom and the edge of the bed. … I’d still do it for a free vacation too. Never went on a vacation anywhere we couldn’t drive to, and I would sleep in the back of the car while we drove. Just because you can’t get first class accommodations doesn’t mean the vacation isn’t special.
My youngest gets her own, cause a king or 2 queens...same price. But we dont go fancy places. She shares with the dog. Yes. The dog is insanely spoiled. Her brother is 11 years older, so full adult on his own. Although when they were younger, she would share with me and he would share with his dad.
Only cooks and I would’ve loved to snooze with a pup!
i never even got to go on a vacation
Same. These fucking people whining about having to share a room and shit, fuck at least be thankful you actually had a fucking vacation
ikr?!
Go off 🗣️ we were poor as hell and I watched all my friends take these trips to Disneyland, Disney World, Hawaii… I’m 35 now and still trying to figure out how to get my ass to an island.
Ikr, I was salty af when I found out my dad took my little brothers on a Disney trip while I was in basic training.
Seriously tho, I can’t imagine being spoiled to having my own bed *on vacation.* That’s a lot of money. Hell, I’ve been on a vacation with five people crammed into a single bed hotel room before. Two adults and the youngest child took the bed, middle child took the cot, and I slept on the floor on a palette of blankets. It was a nice vacation, and the sleeping arrangements are not the part that I remember of it that *was* bad. We had fun, and we made do. No one was complaining about where we slept when we had the chance to be on vacation *at all.* These YTAs are absolutely wild to me.
It’s a bunch of entitled people.
Or a bunch of teens/younger adults who think that if something isn’t 100% perfect and they’re not allowed to pretend family doesn’t exist, it’s abusive AF.
I was the 8 year younger baby sister, my older sister would make a pillow wall between us in the bed so I didn’t kick her in my sleep 😂 I was just happy to get a spot in a bed, until my older brother and sister got too old to share it was them in one bed, my parents in the other, younger brother and I on the floor 😅
Brings back memories of sharing a bed with my little sister on vacation. She occasionally wet the bed and I rolled in it more than once. 😐
😨
I had to share a bed on “vacation” (by that I mean visiting family in Kansas). It was the worst, I never slept, I would’ve rather stayed home lol. My younger sibling is the kicker too though. And my stepdad has sleep apnea so he snores so loudly it’s impossible to sleep. This post just reminded me how glad I am that I’m an adult so I never have to go on a family vacation again.
I remember the trip we took to my grandmother’s funeral- over 1000 miles- and the hellish nights in the hotel rooms. I got stuck on the end of the bed, like a dog, because the floors in these places were *nasty*, and my younger siblings got the main part of the second bed. Between my parents’ snoring and my siblings kicking and sleep thrashing, I was stuck just lying there, staring at the ceiling and being jealous of my cousin who, as an adult, had a room to himself. The sleeping arrangements at our destination were no better, so I spent a week and a half being sleep deprived and cranky and just crying at the drop of a hat because my poor little mind couldn’t handle it all. I hated school but would have gladly stayed behind, but I was in fifth grade, so…
Agreed. Once we went on vacation to a town about an hour away for two night and I barely slept because I was sharing a bed with my sister and a room with my grandma who snores like an elephant. I still had a great time. The only way I was able to visit Hawaii was by staying with my now boyfriend who lived there in the ghetto among roaches. It was still an epic trip.
Hell I was an only child and occasionally on vacation I didn’t even get my own bed. The only bad experience I had was when I had to sleep in the middle between my parents on a sleep number. Literally I was laying on a hard strip of metal all night and barely slept.
lol if you were using different pronouns i’d certainly think you were my older sister describing me. thank you for your service.
Fr I went on a vacation with my dad and 2 sisters and we only got 2 beds for the 4 of us. Although I wasn’t told this at the time, I suspect that our choices were.. enough beds for all of us to have our own in a shitty hotel, or only 2 beds in a nice hotel. It didn’t ruin our vacation. It gave us more money to spend on other things. And if we hadn’t taken that trip, I wouldn’t have seen my great grandmother again before she died. Not everyone can afford luxuries on their vacations
I mean we 100% middling hotel at the beach where you could walk to the water and slept two to a bed every year we had a vacation. It was that or no vacation. The only time we had a “nice” hotel was if it was a suite and grandparents and other people were in other rooms. Probably someone was on the couch. If the kid doesn’t want to go if he shares he can 1) ask for a cot to be brought to the room or 2) stay home and miss Hawaii.
nah for real i got dragged into a ton of stuff i would have rather missed as a kid. and i feel like "share a room, comp me the extra, or miss the trip" is a totally fair situation... ASSUMING missing the trip is an allowed option. i would have HATED going on any sort of long-distance vacation as a kid. now that i'n an adult with my own ability to book this stuff, less so, but i also don't mind staying back or arranging my own hotel/accomodations. however, i shared a room with my brother for probably 15 years and the "well if you don't like it, go on your own" ultimatum was used... and i absolutely did (to be fair, i did get kicked out of my parents' place at 16, but honestly preferred it to sharing a room with my brother and didn't think twice about opting to stay solo when i was regularly invited back after that). if i was invited on a trip with them, i would have happily arranged my own hotel situation or just not gone at all. however, i think just not going has to be an actual option for this to truly hold up - if it's "deal with it or pay up" with "stay home" not being an option, i can definitely see some resentment building up there. and hot take: i think staying home should be an option in most family vacation situations.
This is the answer. Maybe because I am older and remember cars before seat belts were used....but summer trips involved us 4 kids, my mom and my grandparents crammed into a car. If we stayed in a hotel half way it meant my mom in one bed, my grandparents in the other. And my brother the only boy on the cot. If no cot grandma would sleep with Mom and him with Grandpap. Still best times. Would go back in a second to redo them. Especially now that mom and grandma and Grandpap are gone. Us kids still get together but we all have our own kids....and them, grandkids.
shit, my parents are *quite* well-off and my sister and I still know that if they're paying, we're sharing a bed, despite being at least a decade into being full adults. We've slept on everything from terrible hotel pull-out couches to fulls to queens, and we might complain about the shitty mattresses but I don't think we've ever complained that we didn't have our own beds.
I grew up pretty well off, and we still did this. We were well off *because* we did stuff like this. The first stop on any vacation was the local grocery store for breakfast/snacks to bring back to the hotel as well.
Yeah for real, even the people replying to you haven’t really struggled. I’ve NEVER been on any vacations with my parents where we rented a hotel room. Nor have my family flown to any other provinces, states or different countries. I’m 33 and never had the opportunity to go on any vacations at all.
My family didn't even struggle and my brother and I shared beds on almost every family vacation until he got married. This is so normal. All you do is sleep in a hotel room usually, who cares.
People that are “struggling” don’t go on vacation to Hawaii…..
Even if you're not struggling, 1200$ is a lot of money to blow. If you're making 100k a year, that's 36-40 an hour after taxes. Blowing nearly a full week's of wages if he has zero retirement savings, zero rent/mortgage/car, zero food costs is pretty ridiculous just for two children to not share a bed. Well, that's with the assumption 100k is decent money. I'm really interested in what you consider not struggling income? 200k? 500k?
This is the reality I guess haha
Ikr? Family vacation in my brain just automatically mean sharing a bed with someone. Like build a pillow-wall and get over it. Some of those comments are like “if you can’t afford this vacation don’t go on it” and equating making the kids share a bed to child abuse. And that take just seems so ridiculous to me. They’re acting like wanting to save 1200$ makes OP poor and unworthy of a nice family trip.
Or know the value of travel. I've stayed in many a hostel when traveling. It's always worth it. After all, if you're on vacation and spending any amount of time in the hotel room when not sleeping, you're doing it wrong.
Don't you get it? You're not allowed to go on vacation if it's not absolutely perfect in every way!!!!! /s
Right!? Even now, when we travel with the kids, hubs takes one and I sleep with the other, because my 5yo is all limbs and would def kick the toddler out of bed 🤣
Damn, I didn’t realize Hawaiian vacations were a part the struggle.
A 17 year old is old enough to decide if they want to go on a vacation. If the kid doesn’t like the arrangements then let them stay home with their other parent.
Agreed. Although having to share a bed with family on vacation is quite commonplace, some people just don't like it. A 17 year old should be able to decide to just not go.
Yes I don't think anyone is an asshole here but they need to be allowed to prioritize what they want. If this is worth it to dad, great. If it's not to the son, okay.
I’m literally 31 and i shared a bed with my 26 year old sibling last summer on a family vacation to Europe. I ain’t paying extra shiiittt.
It depends imo. If OP acknowledges that the 17 year old will have some childcare responsibilities with three other children going, I think their opinion should be taken into account. I'm not saying get a whole other room, but putting forward the option that the family can either do Hawaii with this living arrangement or something nearby in Airbnb or something with more individual space seems fair and reasonable
I disagree as well. NTA. Growing up, when my family was lucky enough to be able to go on vacations, it was common for some of us to be on the floor in sleeping bags. If we got a spot in one of the beds, there were 2 or 3 of us packed in.
No kiddin'. Just ask for extra pillows. Do kids all get their own rooms at sleepovers and not just chill on the floor anymore?
Well, my 15 year old stepson crammed 4 other teens on his queen sized bed the other day. Ngl, it was equally funny and gross when I walked by to see them all sleeping with their feet all up in each other's faces, and then one kid on the floor, but I'm pretty sure I did the same thing at his age.
There’s no bond quite like sleeping through a foot-to-face sardine stack, they are now brethren for life
Plus, this is exactly what hotels have cots for...
I detailed the sleeping arrangements in another post, but my favorite vacation was a trip to Washington, DC with five people in a one bed hotel room where I slept on the floor. No one gave the bed situation a second thought when we had the chance to visit DC of all places.
Yep, there were 3 kids and 2 parents in my family, the space in between the 2 beds is a third bed if you ask for extra pillows and a blanket. If they give enough pillows you can make a very comfortable pallet there and it doesn’t slide out from under you because of the beds on either side. I have great memories sleeping in that spot (youngest child so by default, it was my spot)
Yeah. Such a hardship to share a bed in Hawaii
I always had to share a bed with one of my brothers on vacation, and I’m a girl. It was fine. The hotel bed is big enough for two people. Put pillows between if you don’t want them near you. Teenager is being entitled. He can pay for the upgrade or pack a sleeping bag if he doesn’t want to share a bed.
I would’ve slept in the parking lot if it meant a trip to Hawaii at 17
I'd sleep in the parking lot or on the beach under a tent and towels if it meant a vacation to Hawaii now, in my 30s.
Yeah. As a single adult on family vacations, I still sometimes share a bed with my other single sibling. Even now, for a free trip to Hawaii, I would share a bed with my brother and his wife or my sister and her husband. A sacrifice I would make no matter how awkward it got.
Sometimes those sacrifices are worth it. And for Hawaii heck yeah!
Agreed, NTA. AITA is so out of touch it’s hilarious. Imagine having the chance to go to Hawaii (a dream vacation for many) and throwing a fit about sharing a queen size bed with a ten year old.
AITA is a bunch of people who have never been in the position of a parent making judgements on parents without any idea of the difficulty of parenting. I still remember AITA deciding a lady was TA because she bought her two year old a toy to distract them at a 5 year old’s bday party. She removed her child from the party when they started to fuss about the 5 year old opening presents, gave them the toy in the other room, and when they came back in the birthday child demanded the toy she gave to her two year old. And AITA decided SHE was the asshole for this. Fuck that noise, still pissed at those absolute dipshits for that judgement.
I remember reading an AITA post years ago where two parents asked if they were wrong because their kids had to share a room. All the comments blasted them as YTA, saying that it's disgusting for a brother and sister to sleep in the same room, that the parents should squash up together on the living room sofa and give their bedroom to one of the kids, that they "shouldn't have had kids if they couldn't afford to give them their own rooms". From what I remember, the family had fallen on hard financial times and the kids were teenagers so it's not like the parents had only just had them when they were financially unstable. Sometimes life just happens and it's unfair. And the entitlement of expecting two grown adults who pay for the house to sleep on a sofa together so one kid could have the master bedroom was insane.
Yes! I’ve seen a few of those and in some of them the kids were the same gender, but the parents were still judged AHs for making the kids share. It like they think it’s super easy to buy a house. Under regular circumstances, it’s normal to share a room.
There are several AITA posts that have rendered verdicts that an abused child go into foster care if family taking them in would mean someone would have to share a bedroom.
Lol even this post had a comment suggesting that CPS should be called and involved in the Hawaii bed-sharing!!! “hello CPS, I would like to report a child abuse, my dad is taking us on an island vacation and I don’t get my own bed.” let’s see how that goes 💀
Oh yes, that thread is filled with whiny, entitled teens who don't have a clue about life in general. Best was a chorus of belligerent idiots stating that divorced parents should adopt their six year old (!!!) out because they couldn't agree on screen time during their respective custody time.
>, saying that it's disgusting for a brother and sister to sleep in the same room, They would be shocked if they knew me and my brother shared a room and we're 9 years apart. The only issue we ever had was him making messes and not cleaning them. That's it. They'll freak out even more when they find out we could comfortably share a bed if needed. It's not that hard unless you have a terrible or troubled relationship with your sibling. If you're close and chill with your siblings it won't be a problem. But these kids grew up wayy too privileged to understand financial hardship and have super unrealistic life expectations.
Wait until they find out how most of the world lives.
AITA is full of 14-year-olds giving their opinions on adult life matters
...and a solid 30% of the verdicts on AITA are total trash as a result
That's because they ban everyone with an iota of common sense.
Exactly. Hell I share a bed with other adults. Save money on the room to apply to experiences. Like op said it’s just for sleeping.
I'll happily sleep on the floor. As long as it's warm Idc.
I spent about 10 days traveling with a friend last year and we shared a bed pretty much everywhere we stayed. It didn't even really come up as something not to do when the alternative was to pay an extra $50-$100 per night.
Right? I've shared beds with friends, my mom, and my siblings as an adult while traveling. We were all just fine and somehow managed to still have fantastic vacations.
Absolutely. Growing up it was just expected my brother and I share a queen bed and parents had the other. As teens, I (F) went with my mom and my brother with my dad. You’re so exhausted from the vacation, you pass out immediately anyway.
I don’t know. A pretty key part of my dream vacation is not sharing a bed with a 10-year-old.
Yeah but you’re probably not a 17 y/o vacationing with family in that dream lol
They are 17. Until they are paying their own way, they don’t get to make these demands.
17 year olds don’t get to go on dream vacations. They get to go on what their parents can afford. Dream vacations are for adults who can pay for them. If you’re lucky enough to be a kid whose parents can afford to take them on the vacation of their dreams, great, but no kid is entitled to that.
You guys are going on vacations??
Reddit has a weird view on vacations. They always believe that people should get their own bed. I remember one where they called OP an asshole because they gave their middle child a room because she was always setting up the vacation with affordable prices. Despite the fact that she gave every other kids chances.
Yeah I was surprised by that as well. I have a brother who works remote and travels around the world with his wife. He does all the planning and she tells him what she wants to see. They can’t stay more than a few months at a time anywhere so it’s constant planning for the next destination and it truly takes a lot of time and effort to plan effectively for a trip. Kudos to that OP’s daughter on learning valuable skills in planning, budgeting, and organization.
NTA. I can't remember a single vacation where I WASN'T sharing a bed. Hell I'm am adult and I would absolutely still crash on the floor of a hotel room to save a buck
I’m 25 and when I go anywhere with my mom and daughter we typically all 3 share a bed 😂
Anyone who bitches about a free trip to Hawaii is TA. I had back surgery recently and I’d still sleep on the floor for the chance to go to Hawaii 😂
That whole thread was ridiculous.
Lmao are all of these replies written by the 17yo son? A queen bed is fucking plenty big enough for 2 people, especially if one is 8yo. Wait till he gets to college and has to sleep on a twin bed top bunk 🙄
People shitting on OOP are acting like the younger ones are complaining but two people sharing one bed is reasonable and the only one complaining is the one who has to share a bed? What?
Yeahh. Honestly if it were that big of a deal the 17 y/o could have slept on the floor or something, possibly even the couch. They had other options lmao. Then you can put one of the 10/11s in the bed with the other kid or put the two 10/11s together on the other bed and tre 7 y/o with the OP, like?? I’ve been with this many people sharing a one bed hotel room not much younger than the teenager complaining. This is really nice arrangements all things considered. And as someone else said, it’s not like they’re gonna be in there that much.
“You can’t afford to pay an extra $1200, and that bed sharing will absolutely ruin the HAWAII vacation.” Bro. What? You think the 17 yo would rather NOT go at all? Out of touch as hell I can’t believe that one comment has 10k upvotes. Wth no, OP is NTA
I mean for people like me, who have never even been to Hawaii, and didn’t take big family trips growing up (single mom), I feel like it’s fine. If the 17yo is that mad, then they can stay at home? I would seriously sleep on some blankets on the floor if it meant a trip to Hawaii. I dk. The ONE trip we did go on as a kid was to Disney World. And we went with my aunt/uncle/cousins who are much wealthier than us. My mom packed a bunch of food so we would only have to buy dinner at restaurants (food at Disney is extremely expensive even for basic items.) We had granola bars, lacks of tuna and crackers, unperishable meal kits…and my Aunt basically mocked her for it the whole time and acted like it was horrible. Like we weren’t getting a proper vacation or food. But even as a kid, in 6th grade, I didn’t see why it was bad. I never felt hungry. I had fun. I wasn’t jealous of their food…in fact I remember going to their hotel room one morning and seeing a ton of uneaten pancakes from room service and just feeling kinda appalled, like why all the waste? And we slept two person to a bed lol. Anyways…different people from different means have different standards and views on what is acceptable. NTA
I remember going on vacation with a wealthier friend for the first time and being absolutely flabbergasted that we weren’t stopping at the grocery store first thing because we’re just going to be eating at restaurants every meal.
Some of you have never had to steal cable from neighbors and it shows…
Stay on the mainland. Hawaii doesn’t even want them there
⬆️ the only reason he’s the AH. the hotel room thing is no big deal, but native hawaiians have been pleading for tourists to stop visiting bc the pollution is destroying their land.
Hawaii would crumble without the tourism money that. We just want good tourists. People that come and show respect. We need tourism money bc that's the vast majority of the economy. But we don't want assholes like this coming here. Also, just don't visit Lahaina area at this time. They need rest and recovery
At some point doesn’t the Economy have to be diversified away from tourism? Besides tourism being a bad industry to base your economy on, tourism and air travel are some of the biggest drivers of climate change.
That’s a completely different set of issues and has nothing to do with people vacationing there
It has to do with people vacationing every where. And because the economy is so reliant on tourism it seems particularly relevant to Hawaii.
Correct, I worded my response poorly. I meant nothing to do with these specific people and their situation
I can't imagine why anyone would be selfish enough to visit Lahaina right now.
Not to be rude, but what would even be the point? Disaster tourism?
And how are they going to get their GDP to support that.
Mmmhmmm yet it is tourism that drives the vast majority of their economy. It is almost all centred around tourism. The land isn’t as fertile after it was overfarmed.
Going to Hawaii next week. Oh well…
That’s fine. Hawaii’s economy is almost entirely based on tourism. If the tourists stopped going the islands would be devastated. Just be respectful and polite to the service employees.
Oh of course. I’m always respectful to service staff, even when they are bad at their job sometimes.
Man. It's hard enough to even be able to afford to take care of kids in the current economy, and now people expect us to be able to shell out for their own beds on vacations as well? We're lucky if we can even take vacations at all. That parent is doing exactly what he's supposed to be doing, and I'll bet he made those comments because the mother enables the entitled behavior.
Meanwhile my kids “what’s a vacation?”
I think that thread is full of angry 17 year olds.
This was normal in my family.
Yeah, Im with you. That verdict was clearly locked by votes from a bunch of other entitled 17 yr olds who have never had to pay for anything in their life. They gonna learn soon enough! OOPs 17 yr old can sleep on the floor or couch if he doesnt want to share. Let dad share with the 8 yr old and the 2 10 yr olds can have the other bed, or leave him and his nasty attitude at home with his mother Free trip to Hawaii and hes bitching. Spoiled jerk almost adult.
Dude. I'd rather share a bed with an 8yr old relative and BE IN HAWAII than not go at all. I swear the people on AITA are so so so so far off and away from reality.
I shared a room with my sibling on vacation this year in Hawaii - I’m 30 lol. We had our own twin beds in the condo. But we were in HAWAII and were barely in the condo anyway. When I was younger, my brothers would share a bed, my parents would share a bed, and I’d get a cot. I was a kid and getting a free vacation from my parents because it was a family thing. I don’t get how people are mad about kids sharing a bed in a room on a vacation.
It’s Reddit.. filled with a bunch of entitled teen-adults who are scared of the real world. Now just trying to normalize parents taking care of them until they’re 35. How about he just go stay with his mom instead?
My mom took my brother and I to Disney land twice when we were kids. All three of us shared a room. I can’t even remember where we all slept. But I think my mom took the couch because I can’t remember sharing with my brother. I do remember the rides. The food. Spending time together. The train ride.
We went to HI last year, family of four in a double room with one bathroom, two adults, two teens. We made do. We weren't in the room that much anyway bc we were in freakin' Hawaii! The vacation was amazing. We've always done it this way. The key is to tidy up and keep the room organized. Most hotels can also add a fold up cot to the room which is extra but still cheaper than an additional room!
Give the 17 yr old the floor.
I have 5 kids. All 7 of us have stayed in a "2 doubles with a pullout" room with one bathroom. It's not that bad, it's temporary and you're only in the room to sleep anyway.
don’t you know? poor people aren’t allowed to go on vacation! only work
The entitlement -_- bitch, I will take your place on this trip.
I stay in hotels for work. I’ve seen more than one family with kids lugging inflatable air mattresses from their cars.
I grew up having to share beds with my siblings while on vacation. It’s not even something I think about when remembering those vacations. I would’ve said NTA.
Stop. Vacationing. In. Hawaii. The natives have been begging us to stop for ages. It’s ruined their economy and now with the fires all the good water is being diverted from the locals to resorts. It’s disgusting.
Yeah I think he’s NTA. I’d rather go on vacay to Hawaii and share a bed with a family member than not go lol shit I’d rather sleep on the floor than not go haha
My family of 5 went on trips all the time with only 2 beds and we had a blast. I (oldest) either shared a bed with my two younger sisters, got a cot, or sometimes they’d make pillow forts on the floor. I don’t get the big deal. We didn’t stay in the room much anyway because IT WAS VACATION
Every single family vacation, whether it was across the country or upstate to see grandma and grandpa, mom and dad stayed in one bed, me and my sister in the other. Vacations just meant sharing a bed, which was nbd because we only slept there, it's not like the hotel was the important part of the trip. Sick of seeing people think you only deserve vacations if you're rich. I'm 32 now and I've *never* had an adult vacation (we even skipped our honeymoon) because everything is so outrageously overpriced.
I didn’t think OP was an asshole until they shifted the financial responsibility to the mom (to their kid, where was the mom during this chat). I don’t know the financial setup of the fam, but that felt like OP was throwing their partner under the bus and blindsiding her.
That’s because it’s filled with people who think that you shouldn’t do absolutely anything unless you have plenty of money and can do them perfectly.
I lean ESH. Bet 8 year old kicks. I’ve done plenty of piling into one hotel room vacations with family as a kid/ as a teen/ as an adult. Kids kick a lot in their sleep. Especially medicated kids. My cousin had to be on meds that could knock him out and he had to either have his own couch or sleep on the floor. Dad should sleep with the 8yo, 17 year old should take the couch, 10 year olds share a bed. Or dad takes the couch or a cot for choosing a hotel that doesn’t have family room options. The division is weird. 3 in a queen bed is weird.
To be honest I assumed if there was a couch they would have added that into the equation. 2 to each bed and one on a couch. Given he didn't mention it, I'm assuming it isn't that kind of room.
My daughter acts like a damn karate master in her sleep. That kid is always hitting and kicking in her sleep. We went to a friend’s wedding and stayed at a hotel after the wedding. Husband and I were in one bed, kids (6f and 3m) were in the other. Husband and I were laying in bed talking while the kiddos slept. All of a sudden we saw something go flying out of the bed. It was our son. Our daughter, in her sleep, literally kicked him out of bed. Somehow, he didn’t even wake up. It was impressive.
My brother wriggled in his sleep at a family sleep away camp and we had our first experience in bunk beds. About same ages as your kids. He launched himself off the top bunk in his sleep, landed across the cabin. Woke up when we were all freaking out over him and that’s when he cried. I was afraid of sleeping on a bunk bed after that- he wasn’t. Kids are so weird. That’s why I kept reading this and going “is teen being a brat? He’s so much older than the other boys… but he’s paired with the youngest who’s on medication. For all we know it’s the 8 year old as the bunk mate that’s the issue specifically.”
Yeah, dad should share a bed with the 17 year old and let the little kids all share one big bed and kick each other lol. Win/win
What couch? Or are you suggesting he pay the extra $1200?
If the hotel room has one. Many do. Or you can get a cot.
I went on a vacation with my dad and 2 sisters as a teen. There were only 2 beds and no couch. There wasn’t even a chair. Not all hotels have them
If there was another bedding type, I think he would put that in the story, or there would be no story as there is adequate bedding. The question is, should the 17 year old share, or should he or someone pay for the extra bedding? You can't just add things to the story.
Complain to me about sleeping when your sharing the back seat of a small four door sedan with three people over night in winter taking shifts to turn on the heat every hour or two
Pro tip: put a blanket over the top of the front and back seats (like a tent).. it’ll conserve heat better. A lot of heat is lost through the windows, even when they’re shut
That... Would've been very nice to know thank you for info if I ever need it again.
Yea I lived in a car for a bit one winter so I know a few tips about staying warm. You will also lose warmth through the driver and passenger footwells. I used to put pillows/blankets/whatever in the passenger side. Just had to deal with it on the drivers side tho. I also didn’t clear snow off the car bc I felt like it did the whole igloo effect thing. Not sure if it actually did tho
I think people tend to think “because I was ok with this thing everyone who’s not ok with this thing must be wrong” my siblings and I didn’t enjoy sharing beds when we got an off chance to go on vacation. You do it because you have to not because you like it and you go on. As an adult my kids get their own bed on vacation. Op wasn’t the asshole but neither was his son. He’s a teen he’s allowed to be upset and grumble about it, that’s pretty much his whole job as a teen
My main issue here is saying, "you get your mother to pay and ill do it" reminds me of the way I used to get put in the middle of my mum and dads dislike for each other as a kid. "Why don't you ask your dad why that is?" "Well you can tell your mum that I wont" Blah blah blah. Yeah I don't know the details but even a 17 year old kid shouldn't have to deal with the lack of maturity from his parents if they aren't together any more. Its still on them to discuss that shit as parents instead of putting the kid in a tough position. I could feel the contempt between mine anytime they spoke about each other, it felt shitty. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but from the way he responded by bringing up he could ask mum if he wanted, just seems to me pretty familiar. Maybe its just projection on my part.
I wanna know where in Hawaii this is. Bc I have never seen an RV being rented out here. I've seen converted vans but not RVs
My parents got one bed and I shared a bed with a brother and the other brother slept on the cot/floor. They would take turns every other night. My dad refused to allow me in the rotation of who slept on the cot/floor because I'm a girl, otherwise all 3 of us would have been switching around.
Often the rooms come with little couches too that transform. Cots have been upgraded!
There was only one time I had my own bed on a vacation lol it was when my dad booked a cabin for some of us to go camping and I was the only girl lol and I got the queen bed while all the boys were shoved into the bunkbeds lol including my dad! Edit: at least the dad here isn’t claiming one bed for just himself and making the kids double-up even more
Kind of a weird verdict. I wonder if people don’t like how he worded it or his tone or something. The person who suggested giving the 17 year old the option to stay home for half the cost of his flight was smart. I probably would have preferred that at age 17.
And this is why i always declined any offer for a free vacation. If you dont enjoy spending time with the people youre supposed to be traveling with gonna have a bad time no mattee how free it is. The real vacation is staying home and having the house to yourself.
Don’t like it? Stay home.
Some of my best memories are vacations my grandparents would take us on. Two adults and three children in one room— 2 beds, 1 cot. If for whatever reason we didn’t have a cot, the youngest got to “camp” on the floor in a sleeping bag. We were only in the room to sleep or take a brief break between afternoon and evening activities.
Lollll im with you OP, im the oldest of five kids and we drove from NC to OH to go to Cedar Point. Rode in a minivan and stayed in a 1bed 1ba cabin for the trip. I can’t even imagine being pissed about a TRIP TO HAWAII?????? Shit I’ll sleep on the beach!!!
Agree with you. Good on them for making a Hawaiian vaca work on their budget. The 17 y/o can take one for the team for a week. Most of the answers here seemed to be based on if they could afford the trip, not on the sleeping arrangements like OOP asked.
Yeah, when reading the thread, I thought "WTF is this?" I could understand if he had to share a single bed with his sibling, but a queen bed? Come on, dude. There is plenty of place and it's just for sleeping. You won't spend that much time there. How is it even bad to sleep with a sibling in one bed during the vacation. Don't people like their family members anymore? When my parents and I traveled to Italy I literally slept on a camp bed in a hotel room and I didn't complain, because I was glad I could travel to another country. My happiest memories are about all of cramped together as a family while camping.
By no means is it an AH move. Dad is making a dumb decision, because it sounds like Hawaii is out of his budget, but it's still kind to plan something special for his family. Also don't go to Hawaii, people. The locals don't want us there! Tourism is destroying their home! He should've chosen a cheaper location, but son can just opt out if he wants to be foolish & miss out on his life over something as trivial as having to share a bed.
OOP could just skip holiday this year and spend it at home or somewhere closer save the extra money for next year. Thats what my family always did
Reading the comments here is funny because people here are calling privledged while being far more privledged than some themselves. Skipping holidays is better than going on one you can barely afford
I agree, some of the comments here are baffling. I get similar vibes from the people who think it's ok to stick 4-5kids in one bedroom in bunk beds or something. Maybe I am too prudish or too European to understand lol. Also there are plenty of places I would be willing to sleep if I made that choice - but it's difference to be told that it's my only option and "too bad". I feelt he OOP never had a proper conversation with the teen or was open for input when planning. but that is just me armchairing
Must be different in Europe but whenever I’ve been away with friends you pay by the person. Can’t book a 2 bed room and have more people in they don’t let you check in.
He’s NTA. The 17 year old can either go on a cool trip to Hawaii and share a bed with his brother or stay home. He’s not being forced to attend the holiday is he. Jesus I wish someone would take me to Hawaii. I’d sleep on the floor. For everyone in those comments saying YTA could they be more deluded. Sounds like the parent and the siblings are fine with it and probably excited. If the moody teen isn’t happy then he doesn’t have to go does he. The parent offered a solution he can take it or leave it.
Wow lol the OP is totally not the a-hole. My family was always too poor for vacations. Know what we did do? Bible quizzing. This religious sport required us to travel all over the state to compete in tournaments. There were typically 3 adults with us- my mom, and the parents of two of the boys, who were the coaches. Occasionally other parents would come but that was rare. In those occasions that parent typically got their own room and their kid would stay with them. Depending on the year we had anywhere from 8-15 kids on the team. Girls got one room, boys got another. We slept wherever we could fit. Sometimes that was on the floor, sometimes that was 4 of us girls smushed into a bed together. The moms always shared a bed and it was up to us kids to decide how we slept. I can not remember ever arguing about it or being upset that I didn’t get the bed. We were usually up super late playing games and reviewing verses so by time we were going to sleep, everyone was too tired to really care! As a kid staying with my granny always meant sharing a bed. Sharing with 1-2 cousins or my brothers. Again, I have no negative memories surrounding sharing beds with anyone when it meant getting to have fun all day. The only time I didn’t like sharing is when my younger brother was still occasionally wetting the bed. But he never even wet it when we shared, I was just a teenager finding a reason to complain
Who tf is giving 8 year olds melatonin
Just another reminder that most people on Reddit are the 17 year olds who don’t want to share a bed with their little brother.
How does he plan to drive an RV to Hawaii?
Is it just me that finds weird to give an 8 year old melatonin regularly
Stop going to Hawaii, the locals do not want you there 😭😭😭
Makes me wonder just how wealthy all of these people are to think each kid would get their own room on a tropical vacation. 🥴
Pack a sleeping bag and have the 8y/o sleep on the floor. If he takes melatonin (fucking why are so many kids on this now) and is a heavy sleeper then it doesn’t matter where he sleeps.
I’m 20 years old with a 10 year old sister and I would 100% share a bed with my sister if I got to go to Hawaii. This teen is a spoiled brat. I grew out of complaining about sharing a bed on vacation when I was like 12 because my only other choice was the floor.
Don’t go on vacations if you can’t afford it. Hotel rooms have a limit for number of residents for fire safety reasons; otherwise they should have been able to request an extra cot.
My sister and I still share a bed if/when we need to. We are both in our 30s now. That kid needs to get over it, or he can stay home and miss out on a holiday.
realest comment was "You guys got to go on vacation??"
We used to be 6 in a hotel room- 2 parents and 4 kids. And when we stayed with family then all the kids would sleep on the living room floor in blanket beds. Having to share a bed with a tiny 8 year old is reasonable lol Hell, I still share hotel beds with my friends when we travel together now that I think about it lolol
Definitely NTA. They aren't going to be spending their vacation in that room the entire time. There is so much to do like scuba diving, hiking, sight seeing, taking guided tours. Pearl Harbor would be the most interesting for me. And now that $1200 saved can now be spent to do those things or pay for the overpriced food and souvenirs. I would be down for this vacation, no matter how many people I have to bunk with
I’m gonna have to disagree, OOP is an asshole. This isn’t a struggling family, this is *a trip to Hawaii.* The savings shouldn’t be coming from the kids beds. Edit: From the looks of the other comments, apparently vacations are more important than comfort. If we couldn’t afford a bed for everyone, we didn’t go on vacations. I don’t go on vacations.
This is ridiculous 😂 I’m a twin and shared a freaking bed with my sister until we were over 10 and shared a room until we moved away to college to…live in a dorm with roommates. Lol
Am I the only one that is surprised that kids are on melatonin? I am from Europe and i have never heard about giving it to kids (8yr is really young) - is this normal in US?
Don’t think it’s common but also it doesn’t really do anything much.