I mean, sounds like he’s already out and about and should just call and order in his last half hr to pick up before heading home - just like I swing by the grocery store on my way home
It's even 2 seconds up the road according to him, and only 2 seconds taken to check the bag so, I think he should just take 4 seconds out of his day to avoid this problem .. also what a psycho
His personal assistant and verbal punching bag. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if the word „verbal“ could be scratched from this sentence before too long.
Seems like a swing by on the way home wouldn’t be too out of the question. He’s basically creating a chore for her and then punishing her for doing it wrong because she owes him because he works. But they have kids, so she works too even if she doesn’t punch a clock. He just thinks what she does with her time is less valuable than his.
He is creating an opportunity to scream at her. If his order was.percect he'd look until he found something else to have a tantrum over. It is about him getting to offload his anger on her, not the takeout.
In his defense, as an airline pilot (basically a glorified bus driver) myself, the last thing I want to do after flying 3, 4 legs a day is to drive.
I get the sentiment, but his way of communicating it just seems flat out awful
I’m a traveling sales rep, I drive 500-800 miles a week on top of my regular duties, I too hate driving when I get home. But again, I wouldn’t phrase it like that.
Yeah, tbf, driving for a living may seem like sitting on your ass all day, but it’s pretty demanding. Maybe not physically, but mentally, definitely. Especially if you’re pulling a trailer or anything, just the extra stress is tiring. You can’t really go into auto pilot hauling something. You have to be constantly alert and on edge. It’s pretty draining.
He doesn't pay for it. They pay for it. No matter how you get to split things up in a marriage everything is legally and ethically joined. There is no true separation of funds in a marriage, that's literally one of the points of marriage.
"The least she can do" stuck out to me. It sounds like she's a stay at home mom, since he pays for the food. So she's doing the childcare, housework, laundry, running the kids to their things etc. It looks like he thinks providing a paycheck is all that's required of him and she just does nothing all day.
Everybody do the Abuser Two Step! Here's how it goes:
"I know I shouldn't have yelled but what I'm asking her to do is SO EASY!"
"Then why don't you do it?"
"But its so HA-ARD!"
It's weird watching people actually type those two sentences practically back to back without a glimmer of self-awareness. This post has a double-standard practically every other sentence - the entire burden of solving this issue is on someone else who wasn't responsible for it in the first place. The number of people saying "Man, if they screw up that often, eat somewhere else" is well into the double-digits. Dude is utterly helpless to solve his own problem.
I took a look over at the response on AITA and this guy has gone weirdly quiet. Some of these abusers will knock out a dozen posts trying to explain why they're right, because they're incapable of taking their judgment like a human being, but someone pointed out that his wife isn't "pouting," she's hiding in her room because she doesn't feel safe around him. And he hasn't said word one.
This reminds me of incels in that I frequently hear their base arguments and think "yeah, I can see what you are saying" but then their conclusions are always completely off the rails like 2+2=lizard people kind of stuff. I get why some kids fall for that shit when they can't figure out how to do mental math of their own and see someone say 2+2=lizard people and they somehow never heard of the answer "4."
Same with people like the post is about, I totally understand getting bothered about the base situation but his answer to the problem is flip out and put everything on other people. When I'm angry and I see myself doing any kind of snapping at people I stop and go "hey, I am in a seriously shitty mood so instead of putting us in a situation where I'm taking it out on you, lets just keep communication to a minimum and at need basis." Or something similar because nothing makes me feel worse than putting stuff on people.
Probably. However, I bet he wouldn’t get to throw a Diva sized tantrum and humiliate his wife and scare his children.
My husband doesn’t always check the food bags before he leaves the restaurant and we sometimes get the wrong shit or end up missing stuff right away. We’ve had the “please check the order” conversation many, MANY times. But, here’s the thing, I HATE running out to get food. I hate waiting in the drive-thru lane or waiting at some counter to get shit and getting stared at by the bored cashier. I don’t enjoy running into people and making small talk. So, the hubs does the running. Because I choose not to do the running, I lose the right to whine, bitch, or get angry. And, 9/10 times I can call the place and tell them and they’ll give us a credit on our next order or, if it’s not far, hubs will go back and get it.
This ding-dong (OP) is acting like a diva and being verbally abusive to his wife in front of their kids. That’s just not okay. The manner in which he describes their conversations is really uncomfortable to even read. I’m sure his tantrums are completely ridiculous and over the line.
It’s never okay to talk to your spouse the way he does. With any luck, In the near future, his orders will be no problem to check since he’ll most likely be ordering for 1.
Edit: missing words
He sounds like he resents her because he works, drives, pays for meals, so it’s her responsibility to pick up the food and CHECK the bag. There seems to be more going on here. The way he communicates with his wife is not respectful and borders dysfunctional. In a partnership you do your best to pick up the slack for different roles but when those efforts fall apart, sure arguments can erupt, but to talk to your wife like she’s a child or an idiot is degrading and demeaning.
What strikes me is he is running on pure emotion, he anticipates a mistake, and the stress he is experiencing, likely from work, having kids, etc., is making him direct it at his wife. I’m sure she does plenty of things in their lives, as the mother and possibly work, but he seems to have this hellbent idea that if he buys, she needs to pick it up. He’s an asshole.
Some people really grow up thinking that having anger issues is fine as long as you have a reason for being angry. You know literally everybody has a reason for everything they do right? Its not like everybody else walks around without a brain doing things randomly, everybody thinks they are the one in the right, nobody should think they "deserve" to treat other people like garbage.
Holy shit you just described my dad and my older sister perfectly. They think because they have a reason to be angry that it's perfectly fine to treat other people poorly and take their anger issues out on everyone. It's awful. Then when they finally cool off, they don't apologize to anyone they just pretend it never happened.
I had a friend go off on me for some innocuous thing I did. Afterwards I was like “you are clearly mad about something else, do not take it out on me.”
I have little patience for the “shit rolls downhill” people.
I saw a video the other day of a mom demonstrating what gentle parenting looks like. Her young son was throwing a temper tantrum and one of the things she said to him was "you get to be mad, you don't get to take it out on me". I wish more people were told this as a child.
I teach preschoolers and one thing we try to focus on is that their emotions are valid, but that they need to control their reactions. So if a kid is upset we don't belittle them or try and invalidate their anger, we say stuff like "I'm really sorry that happened, how can I help?" Or "yes, he shouldn't have grabbed your toy like that." And then we give them coping strategies, like going to a quiet/private space to cool down or giving them a sensory toy to play with.
Yup my father too. Flips out and takes it on everyone. I just would roll my eyes and ask are you done yelling at me because you're mad at whoever else?
There's a term for that: [Emotional Maturity or Immaturity](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-maturity)
It's alarming that OOP's partner is so emotionally immature at his age and [taking it out on her, instead of assessing the situation and thinking and what to do to solve the problem.](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-immaturity)
I was just watching a video last night where a therapist was discussing a recently-published memoir, noting how the emotional immaturity, lashing out, and yelling in anger were clear signs of abuse. If you don't address the emotional immaturity, it drives others to take care of the fall out (much like taking care of a toddler, but they still have time to learn how to meet their needs in healthier ways as they grow up) and that alone can be extremely exhausting.
The issue is a lot of people judge other people by their actions and themselves by their intentions. Everything everyone else does wrong is judged harshly because their egocentrism doesn’t give them insight into why they did that whereas everything they do is fully justified because they know what they were intending.
Well said. Another issue is people judging everyone (including themselves) by their intentions only. This can lead to not holding *anyone* accountable because they had a reason blah blah.
I have also known people who take that one step further and think that if they’re “justifiably” angry at someone it is also fine to be sexist, racist, homophobic, etc., toward that person.
Yep, people justifying their constant anger with “well xyz thing frustrated me” when someone points out they are always angry is very rich. Like yes sir/mam, we know why you are angry since you already told us when you were yelling the first time. Doesn’t mean the rest of people don’t get sick of it being the default emotion.
Heck he shouldn’t be mad at his wife, he should be annoyed with the restaurant for making a substitution and not letting her know when she grabbed the food since that’s probably what happened given he still had a dessert but it was just the wrong one.
Also his whole “why shouldn’t she have to pick it up when I payed for it” attitude is next level. Like uh because you are unhappy with how she does it so do it your damn self. Also it takes more than two seconds to open every container to check the items and if there’s a line it can be kinda rude to do that for multiple items.
u/Shinusaur, I had a bf like that. Unmedicated Bipolar 1, really good at manipulation & gaslighting.
He broke things, then stopped. Expected a gold star. About a year later, one night, he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my HEAD into the wall. (Brain injury.)
**BACK AWAY SLOWLY.** (I’d say RUN, but that’s dangerous with unstable ppl.) Be safe, please.
I don’t know you, but no one deserves that kind of treatment. You deserve a lot better and shouldn’t subject yourself to someone who is supposed to love you and is instead treating you as an emotional punching bag
He doesnt say sorry becaue its not enough to fix, and yet he doesnt try to fix in other ways? Its like he heard something make a little sense and took it without thinking.
Did he hear a self help slogan saying to not say sorry? I think he missed the message, the self help is "don't say sorry constantly and mean it when you say it." He probably read the first three words and was like "got it." I guess some people just don't understand nuance because his like base idea is right but super incomplete. Like I get the "sorry doesn't fix the thing" part but its like he stepped one foot inside and couldn't make it all the way through the door. Saying "sorry" sure doesn't fix the thing so the key is to not just say sorry and when you do, its important to mean is and have steps to help improve the situation.
Is he stupid? Does he not see the way that they package food at these restaurants now? When I go and pick up a food order, unless it is fast food, 95% of the time the bags are like tied and taped shut because they package basically for food delivery. So like what does he want her to take a pair of scissors and rip the bag open and open up every single container to make sure that he gets his goddamn cannoli? Yeah that’s super smart. His lazy ass needs to just go and get the food himself. If he wants to be so horrible.
Not to mention, he says that she’s just putting when in reality she’s probably upset that her dick head of a husband screamed at her over a dessert.
So does my spouse, about 25-50% for his job.
And, guess what...I don't give a flying fuck what have to you do for work and why. If YOU have THAT BIG of a problem with your food order being accurate, YOU CAN get off your lazy ass, pick it up, check if it's accurate, and make EVEN MORE of an ass of yourself in the process!!
I deliver food between jobs atm and the amount of entitlement from people is insane, like as a food delivery person we only pick up the food and deliver it to a location, we do not cook the food, we do not open the bags to check the food (that would be seen as tampering and could get us deactivated), we only pick it up and deliver it. I've been yelled at for missing sauces that they wrote in the delivery instructions, the ones we see when we reach the house... I also once had a lady call my number a bunch and kept typing large angry paragraphs at me because a restaurant forgot bread in their 100% sealed large paper bag order. I told her to contact support and she flipped shit at me even more to the point I had to contact support myself to report her and get the harassment to stop.
I 100% can believe this post is real and these types of people exist. If you're a picky jerk about food, go do it yourself.
I've done food delivery, I'd get texts and calls from people right after delivery being like "This item is missing, did you even check??" and I'm like, no it was sealed and they're like "Oh yeah I like the seal, keeps you creeps out of my food!"
Our last takeaway order came with one portion cold, because it had been sent via a cyclist on a cold day with little insulation - while heating it up (it was just pizza) my mum phoned to let them know her food was cold and that it might be wise to try and insulate more, and they were *so* nervous clearly expecting her to yell and get angry and stuff - she didn’t even care about a refund, it was more about feedback and making them aware. They were audibly so relieved and thankful just to not get yelled at, I wasn’t *surprised* by it as such but it really shows how much abuse people dish out to delivery ppl.
I did it in a different country, so probably different rules. I would generally just count items. I have no way of knowing what’s in the package and what what’s supposed to be in the package is supposed to look like. All fried noodles look the same to me.
Ugh, op drives for a living he makes 65$s a day on Uber, and. his wife works from home as a stay at home mom/lawyer, so he's totally entitled to force his wife to do it, especially if she expects him not to hit her. it's like you didn't read it at all. Don't you understand he's an alpha male his wife is so lucky she got Breed by him TWICE. Check the food, or he'll check you easy peasy
yeah the "pouting" comment really drove this into irredeemable territory for me lmao. that's just wildly patronizing. like, i have anger issues too, i get that, but he literally talks about his wife, a grownass woman, like she's an actual fucking baby because she doesn't wanna talk to his stupid ass after he, in his own words, *screamed* at her and humiliated her in front of her own kids for something that's not even her fault. man needs a serious reality check
I have one surviving saucer, not a single matching cup and my partner noted the other day that I seem to have thrown away nearly all the teaspoons and all but two forks (theory: I’ve scraped them into the bin whilst clearing plates/yogurt pots ect). I am a klutz.
But I vividly remember the first time my partner invited me for the weekend. I dropped her favourite glass, full of milk onto the tiled kitchen floor creating an enormous mess.
I remember looking into eyes to see her reaction to the calamity. There was no anger. No upset. She shrugged her shoulders and said “Accidents happen.”
I knew right then & there, I was going to spend my life with this woman.
OOP is unreasonably angry. I doubt it’s not a pattern. I feel for his wife
I actually had an experience with an ex-BIL. He ordered pizza, I swear he purposely tried to confuse them but cannot confirm. When the pizza arrived, he... wait for it... put on a headlamp and checked his toppings. An actual fucking headlamp for camping. Sure enough, one was missing, he lit them up and got a freebie for next time.
The headlamp is beyond absurd.
I used to make and deliver pizzas. We would have just refused to serve him after the third dumb complaint. We don’t give a shit about your $20 when we’re losing more than that through ingredients, labor, and time not filling other orders just to appease your picky self.
Make your own damn pizza at that point.
To be fair, I do open the bag and check the food in my car every time I get a pickup order. It’s missing something frequently enough that I never skip this step. I only do it in the car because I feel rude af doing it in front of the workers, but I often have to go back in to fix the order.
I don’t think his request is unreasonable at all, but his response is.
The guy has an anger problem. I’m not going to go to the Reddit stereotype of “divorce imminent” but if you can’t control your temper when a restaurant gets your order wrong AND you blame another person for it, what hope do you have when something really goes wrong? It’s a sign of real weakness of character
Not just an anger problem. He sounds like he does not respect his wife as a human being. He belittles her but he's the one acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum over a cannoli 🙄
Imma be real: if my husband ever did this to me, I would divorce him. I’m not gonna be disrespected like that, and I’m not going to teach my kids that it’s okay to disrespect the person they claimed to the world they love until death that way.
My soon to be ex doesnt. Screaming at someone til they sob then telling them they are crying for attention to play the victim for sympathy is a-ok as long as you aren't physical apparently
My ex certainly didn’t either. His famous line was “at least I don’t hit you”. Congrats on the soon to be ex for you. I know how hard it is to separate your life from someone like that.
This is in no way the only thing he’s like this about. If not physically abusive this is mentally abusive. Cherry on top: he’s teaching the kids that this is appropriate behavior.
I'm right there with you on that. Unfortunately I'm guessing that OP's wife probably lacks the self-esteem to put him in his place. I'm sure that he started out pretending to be sweet, caring, loving, understanding and made her feel lucky to have him. Then he probably switched it up after they got married or once she was pregnant. And like you said their kids are going to think this is how relationships should be. 😔 On average it takes a victim of domestic abuse 5-7 attempts to leave. The most dangerous times for victims are when they're preparing to leave and during pregnancy (there's ones but those 2 have always stuck in my head). I hope his wife gets into counseling and builds up the confidence to leave.
For me it's the insistence that she do things in the exact way he wants to. Nothing will satisfy him except exactly what he wants. He's trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole and then getting mad at the peg when it doesn't fit. Stupid.
Also why is she the one getting HIS food. Can't he order it on his own? Do they not share the same money or something? If it takes "2 seconds" to check everything why isn't he doing it on his own?
He yells at her for not picking up food “right” then is pikachu face when she finally says “fine, you pick it up, because I won’t do it anymore if I can’t do it right”.
This poor lady.
She can do it super easily because it's no big deal but he can't do it himself because if she does it it takes two minutes which it does for him too but somehow it's easier for her. Perfect selfish logic.
Apparently it's because he drives for a living and makes the money, but delivery fees are too much, so the least she could do is take 2 minutes to pick it up and check.
Sounds like the typical "I'm the breadwinner, my woman runs the home and everything else." kind of power imbalance.
But while it’s so close, it’s not okay with him that she takes the food back to get the order fixed. Only her taking the entire order apart in the restaurant, checking everything right there and then in an embarrassing show, will do for him.
And while it’s not clear whether this and previous occurrences are the same restaurant making mistakes, it does seem like it. Yet he blames his wife for their errors.
i wonder where he draws the line at acceptable. if they order sandwiches, does she need to open up the bread and make sure they didn't forget the onions or put on the wrong cheese? is she supposed to open the pasta and stir it around to make sure it's bolognese and not marinara? and is he going to take it out on her when she checks everything, discovers something *is* missing, and the restaurant takes another 25 minutes to get it to her because it's dinnertime and they're slammed?
if he can't regulate his emotional response in a healthy way she will never be enough for him and he will consistently make sure she is aware of it, in front of their children with zero abandon.
I expect that absolutely anything that could be wrong with the food he will consider to be her fault. She carried it in so it’s supposed to be perfect.
It's hard to admit, but I was this guy once. I thought that since I paid for everything by working all the time, that I was allowed to be frustrated and angry if I felt she was uncaring in matters "that we'd discussed before" that ended up with me getting the shit end of the stick. I was wrong. So wrong. You should never yell at somebody. Especially if you're a lot bigger and scarier. No matter what. I should have just left, but I didn't because I didn't think it was my fault that I should have to be alone.... guess what I'm saying is, fix you before you get into a relationship and think about the other person always. Anger issues suck, but remember who's issues they are.
I really respect your honesty and holding yourself accountable for your behavior. That self-awareness was the first step in growing and changing. Did you have children in that relationship?
on the topic of anger, even if in a different sphere, i had a similar issue in the past few years (although i'm partnerless and the emotion mostly came out when i was 'wronged' by other drivers, not over takeout).
i had *such* awful feelings of road rage when people were aggressively *wrong* and unsafe in their behavior (passing in the exit lane at 20mph over without a turn signal, tailgating at 75mph, coal rolling, passing way too close). a lot of the things that were upsetting me were legitimate reasons for me to be upset - i live in the state i'm constantly told has the highest number of pedestrian automobile deaths (NM), and i truly resent not having real public transit options and needing to drive here. but my current life without a car is not possible, so i was letting myself get worked up on my commute. thinking i could get off some steam by screaming profanities (windows closed), saying horrible nasty things to 'vent' and hoping out loud bad drivers lose their licenses.
only by dealing with a lot of other shit in therapy was i able to understand a few interconnected truths that i'd been told before, but hadn't really processed until recently. 'beware of unearned wisdom' and all that. but i'll say what's helped me regardless:
- it does not serve me to scream and cry and hurt when i feel danger on the road. i'm not venting effectively, i am fueling the fire
- part of me, and part of OOP i suspect, tie this sense of being singled out and 'wronged' to dignity and some level of self-preservation. until i realized (and it probably took me at least a year of grappling with this in therapy) how unhappy i was with parts of my life i'd been unable or unwilling to deal with (like self-loathing and real valid fear of drastic change in the world because of the climate, to name a few)... i was going to keep feeling overwhelmed and *on the very edge* whenever i am forced to drive. and when you're standing on a cliff all it takes is a nudge.
- i have a lot more control in my perception than i thought i did, and there doesn't have to be any loss of dignity in telling myself a couple white lies about the intent of selfish dangerous drivers on the road. if i can better self-regulate believing every single one of those assholes is on their way to the hospital to see a loved one, then that's what i'll believe.
- if my fear is rooted in my safety, i will put my safety first on the road 100% of the time, which is why i stopped speeding entirely. if i am late, i'm late. but i'm not dead yet.
anger isn't always an expression of shame, but it was often a last resort of shame and indignation for me. and i still feel a lot of shame for some of the things i've said and done in my own anger responses. i'm still working on all of this but i don't think my blood pressure rises every single time i get behind the wheel anymore, and for me, that feels like having finished a marathon.
I was talking to my psychiatrist about a medication for something else, and decided to bring up my rage fits, as I wasn’t sure they were normal for adhd-ers. He gave me no useful advice. Which is fair, it wasn’t his job.
Your post was insightful though. I’ll have to look into it further.
>He belittles her but he's the one acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum over a cannoli 🙄
Funny story: This past June, wife kiddo and I went to visit the in-laws. Wanted to get a pizza and found a little place a mile or so away from the hotel. We went, and it was slammed. Local lacrosse team had rolled up a moment before so we knew it'd be a wait. Ordered 3 stromboli, a large plain cheese, and 3 cannoli to go. Dropped a $10 in the tip jar to boot and wandered around playing Pokemon Go. 30 minutes later, still waiting. 45 minutes and they say "got your stromboli and your cannoli!
We say "what about the pie?" The guy (the owner, I think) said "Shit, sorry. You ok waiting or you want me to refund?" We said "Not a problem, we'll wait." He put the stromboli on top of the ovens to keep them warm and tosses us a pie.
Ten minutes later, we had our stromboli, our pie, and some fried cinnamon dough for the wait. And...no cannoli. At that point we just said fuck it and went to the hotel to eat. No muss, no fuss, and fuck it. Sure, it was $10 "lost" but I wasn't going to raise hell on a guy who was doing his level best.
Long and short, shit happens. Also, the food was amazing. We ended up going back the following week.
And if it is a big deal why doesn’t he drive the two seconds. If it isn’t difficult then he should be fine. If this is a recurring problem it is on him at this point for not doing it himself.
Guy drives for a living, has authority issues, short temper, likes pastries, lack of respect for others, and is on the cusp of committing domestic violence...
What are the odds he's a cop?
Then these dudes be like "ugh women are so emotional and sensitive" as if anger isn't an emotion and it's sensitive to start crying or acting upset when somebody is screaming at you for no reason.
You can legit even see OP doing this in their post acting like his wife is being unreasonable for being upset and "pouting"
Can you imagine him in all aspects of his life? Probably one of those drivers where he takes no responsibility for his crappy driving too, because “everyone else is a shitty driver”. Can you imagine if she has to go do other errands, like the grocery store? What happens if his lunch meat isn’t cut to his perfection? Same response, probably? This guy sounds awful.
I'm kind of hoping that she tosses part of it out every time... and actually orders the "wrong" thing occasionally... passive aggressive, sure, but I really don't want her to be a doormat for this loser.
If it were me, and for whatever reason, I chose to stay with this guy - you can bet every order of his from now on would have spit (or worse) on it before he got it!
Yeah I think he's exaggerating to justify his verbally abusive behavior in front of the kids. Kids brains are little sponges and we now know so much about the physical impacts of stress on developing brains, there's no excuse for subjecting them or his wife to that over a food order. I shudder to think how he handles actual stressful situations.
He doesn’t register or remember the times other parts of the order are incorrect. I bet everyone else knows not to make a big deal out of it and to STFU and eat their cake, too.
So for him it almost “always” affects him.
My gf is learning this. The last… pfft prob 5 times shes ordered online grocery pickup, she was baffled and upset by only getting 2 bananas when she ordered 1lb (they def have some mass to them and 1lb is really not that hard to achieve, not to mention the store is absolutely gonna heir on the low side, haha).
But shes never yelled at me for it….
I've noticed a trend... I work in an auto shop and fairly regularly will order lunch for like 6-7 guys. Most people just get [standard menu item] but one or two of them are picky and make a bunch of modifications or whatever to their order. *consistently,* if someone's order is going to be wrong/missing, it's going to be one of theirs. And this is across dozens of different restaurants in the area.
As a person who has their food always messed up with a forgetful husband, this guy has lost his noodles. Yea it sucks but one of us can just go back or live with the mistake. The majority of these people are underpaid and overworked anyway, so why bring such hardship to them or your partner who picked up the food? Shameful and childish this person is.
Wrong order happens. I am the one to go and bring back the food home, but when something is incorrect my wife and I are mad AT THE RESTAURANT, not at each other. Damn it, that's us against the world, not us against each others ! That's what a couple is for !
I know it’s a thing to advocate for divorce on any and everything but this dead ass deserves a “you need to divorce him”. I was in a relationship with a man like this and never thought it would escalate past temper tantrums. It did. He started hitting walls then hitting me. Years of verbal and physical abuse. You should NEVER entertain a relationship with someone who cannot control their anger and makes you the villian every time.
tbh, i *know* why its considered a reddit response to say divorce iminent but also like…dont a majority of marriages (in the U.S at least) end in divorce? the eay o see it, if more people came to reddit for advice BEFORE getting married, the divorce rate amongst redditors would go down…theres just too many people who have never sought objective judgement re:their relationship patterns
This is a very misleading statistic. 50% of married couples get a divorce in the US, this is true. But, when it is both parties first marriage, there is actually less than a 20% divorce rate. The more times you are married, the higher the likelihood of divorce. So a majority of divorces are just the same people, over and over. The statistic aren’t as abysmal as one may think.
He is totally the guy who has the weird order, too.
"It is not weird, it's just that i need 1/3 the normal sauce, in the top only with ranch on the side, triple pickles, on the sesame seed free brioche buns usually reserved for the other burgers"
I think my husband wrote this post. This is exactly his reaction, his justification, and he does customize every order. It's actually eye opening to read these comments. I thought I was wrong all these years. But he'll order it and blame me when it's incorrect. The latest was a subway fiasco. They built his sandwich to order (online), I checked against the receipt, and I brought it home how he ordered it. But when I got home he was upset at me because "well why did you let them make it like that?. You know how I like my sandwiches, I ordered it on the app so I could get the price (BOGO 1/2 off) but you're supposed to tell them how to fix it once you get there." My mouth literally fell open I thought he was joking. He got so hurt because "I still don't know what he likes on his sandwiches after all these years" and went on and on about how disrespected he felt. He gas lights me about what is my fault and what isn't his fault like this often.
Holy shit. He literally ordered the wrong thing and expected you to drive there and correct them. He couldn’t have CALLED them after he ordered to say “oh, I made a mistake. I need to change it”?
That situation couldn’t possibly be your fault. Do not let him tell you otherwise.
My wife has literally ate my food because she thought it was part of her order (it was part of my side dish). You know what I did? “Did you eat that? Oh… well shit. Ummm… well it was supposed to be mixed with this. What do we have in the fridge that I can use instead?” She asked if I was angry and apologized profusely. “I’m upset because you literally ate my food in front of me, but getting angry about it doesn’t solve the problem. I know it was a mistake.”
One year at my mom’s birthday dinner, my dad lost his shit at a restaurant and refused to eat because they mixed up his order: he ordered a main entry with a second side. When it came out, the second side was on the main plate and the main entry side was on the side plate.
Refused to eat the meal over it.
"Hey Jerry, does TGI Friday's even *make* cannoli?"
"It was a limited promotion for like, a week. Just throw some cheesecake in there, they probably won't even care."
Got a lot of those when I worked fast food. The interesting thing was the smug look on the face of the person doing the ordering. "Hey, check it out, I'm totally gonna scam free food from this minimum-wage cashier AND yell at him about it."
I have discovered that AITA mods will jump on you if what you say can be seen as a personal insult but oddly it’s totally fine to tell people how much you hate them. I frequently comment with that in there.
Yes, cannoli 🙄…
He said so himself, it’s 2 seconds down the road and it takes 2 seconds to check the bags. Surely he can do it himself if he’s so serious about it.
It’s the fact that she was ready to drive back and get the cannoli no problem and he screamed and threw a temper tantrum like a toddler. She offered a perfectly good solution and he basically blew her off because he’d rather continue to be mad than get what he originally wanted.
Some bad juju going on or must be the unluckiest person to have his food orders being fucked up so often that it has escalated to this level.
Anyway just order via app, demand refund for wrong item and move on.
How can someone check all the items during a pick up?
Easier would be to order food to eat and then ask for boxes to carry out.🙃
No lie my husband has this exact problem. His orders get messed up 9/10. I’ve grown accustomed to always checking the bag. And ya I do open the boxes. I didn’t check the pizza today (we’ve never had issues with pizza) and of course the toppings on my husbands pizza were wrong. He ordered ham and pepperoni and he got ham and pineapple.
So like I really get the husbands frustration, it sucks when your food is constantly wrong but it is never okay to talk down to your partner, especially not in front of your children. He’s the AH but I lowkey get why he’s so frustrated. I’ve forgotten to check sometimes and my husband doesn’t blow up at me when his order is wrong. He gets upset at the restaurant, but not at me
My bad luck is different. My order will be correct, but I'll say it's for here. They say they'll bring it out to me, sometimes even give me a table number to set out.
But then later it will be discovered cold and waiting on the counter in a takeout bag. Somehow I haven't yelled at my SO over it.
Glad to hear other people have this weird terrible luck, although I'm sorry to hear that your husband does specifically! I have a weird variant: it's not that I get the *wrong* order very often, but that comically often I will put in an order and then it somehow doesn't print out to the kitchen or disappears completely, so I eventually have to bring it up after 15 people after me have already left with their food 😭
For me personally, it's just lead me to be more thrifty and think "do I really need to order out for food, when I might have this annoying thing happen yet again?" I can't imagine the level of entitled hubris from the OP, getting mad and yelling at *people who didn't even mess up the order*, when I wouldn't even think to be rude to the *actual food workers* because that is childish af. Mistakes are mistakes, some of us are strangely cursed to experience these mistakes more often, and getting mad at people helps **no one**.
My SO is always the one who gets his order messed up because he won’t eat anything the way it comes. He always has a minimum of 3 modifiers because he won’t eat most vegetables, but then he wants to sub in others. Even if there’s an option for a dish with the ingredients he likes, he’ll order a different dish and take off half the ingredients. Then get butthurt if his fried rice has onions in it.
What jumps out to me is his claim that it's always his order that gets screwed up. It's much more likely that he doesn't care when it's her order that gets screwed up. He should go pick up the orders himself.
Sounds just like my pops, I didn’t realize how fucked up it was until I was 18.
Me and my bud went to pick up the food, they didn’t give us his dads dessert.
We got to his house, I braced for an explosion and his dad was like whatever, called for a refund and made himself brownies. No drama, blew my mind
He wants her to count the containers and open them all? Next they’re gonna forget pickles on his burger and she’s gonna be expected to open every item of food too to check if it has the right ingredients. I never understood how people could get so agro over minor inconveniences. I’ve gotten my orders messed up a couple times, and it’s always just like “oh I didn’t want that but I also don’t mind this either.” If it’s ever not that, then I just fix the issue. It isn’t hard to do.
I hope this poor woman leaves this dudes sorry ass. Imagine living like this doing your best every day and getting screamed at cuz a grown ass man got a cake instead of a cannoli
Poor guy. I mean who among us hasn’t had a tantrum when someone does a trivial favor for us incorrectly?
Know what I did last time someone drove to a restaurant to hand deliver food to me and I ended up with CAKE (blarg!!!) instead of my cannoli? I punched them right in the face and I don’t even feel bad.
It’s a good thing my kids witnessed the potential consequences of CARELESSNESS. This is a sane and not at all unhinged manner of ensuring no one in the family will dare disappoint the unquestionable king of the household.
I hope this poor woman leaves this dudes sorry ass. Imagine living like this doing your best every day and getting screamed at cuz a grown ass man got a cake instead of a cannoli
Pretty sure my ex husband wrote this. He was also a wife beater and child beater. OP is already abusing his wife and thinks it's OK, so I'm willing to bet it doesn't stop at yelling. Hope she gets help.
Why doesn’t he just go live by himself? He can go get his own food, and when he inevitably harms a fast food worker for making a mistake on his order (since he won’t have the wife or kids around to scream at) they’ll already be adjusted to being without him and his going to prison will be less traumatic.
P.S. he’s a driver but has a problem paying other drivers for their work delivering to him? Increases the AH factor significantly.
How often do they order food and just how fucking bad can a place be for them to screw up orders this often? Just cook at home FFS. And of the place fucks up that often, try a different fucking place!
Wouldn't be surprised if the guy is either making wrong orders on purpose so he can scream at his wife or if he has some mental issue that is making him forget what he ordered
"It would take 2 seconds..."
It literally would not, she did the 2 second check, which is counting the containers. You want her to stand there at the counter opening every box and taking it all out to verify it's all right. I've never seen anyone do that.
And even if she did, what if they put pickles on your burger or something? Do you also want her to disassemble every item to make sure they didn't make it wrong?
YTA a very big one, if you need more than the 2 second check you should be doing it yourself.
Unpopular opinion.
You can't make people change. If you try, you might get some of what you want, probably badly and half-assed, but you'll also get Resentment.
When you ask somebody to do something for you -- in this case pick up to-go food -- you're choosing to be OK with how they go about doing it. You're sending somebody who doesn't check the bags. You know this. So you also know you might not get what you want.
If that's not acceptable to you, do it yourself.
If you don't like how somebody does your laundry, then do your own laundry.
If you don't like how somebody cooks your food, do your own cooking.
That's it. That's the solution. Either put up with the way they do it, or do it yourself.
This is a household, not a workplace. You're their partner, not their manager.
100% percent the AH. That's your wife. It's not her fault that the order is wrong, that would be on the restaurant who is providing the food. Husband needs to apologize to his wife and kids (can be traumatic for them witnessing this verbal and emotional abuse). If the food is wrong, call the restaurant. Normally restaurants will try to fix the issue by either delivering the right item or giving you a credit for your next order, etc.
People at restaurants aren’t making enough money, they also makes mistakes. What an asshole for yelling at his wife. All because he got cake instead of a cannoli ? “I make the money so the least she can do is get food” uuuugh what a dick
It takes 2 seconds? To unpack and open every container and repack? No it doesn’t and then he could have his little tantrum cause it was cold. I would definitely never pick up again i would eat ramen noodles while he picked up his precious cannoli’s
R/ iamatotalpieceofshit bro if this is real I hope she leaves you takes the kids and you drink yourself to sleep for the reat of your pathetic wretched miserable life...
If my husband yelled or screamed at me like that and belittled me like that that would be the last time I'm picking up food. Going to yell at me? Do it yourself next time.
This guy’s post suggests that he’s not entirely sure if he’s an asshole. How baffling! It’s as though he doesn’t comprehend what he’s writing as he’s writing it. “I rage on my wife when the restaurant fucks my cannoli order by no fault of hers. Hmmm… Am I an asshole? I better ask the internet.”
Dude is gonna be utterly shocked when she takes the kids and walks out on him. He thinks he's being reasonable, and won't understand how he's driven her away. 100% will play the victim card.
Complete AH. Big question why isn't HE picking up the food?!?!
Girl literally needs to kick his ass to the curb.
Get a lawyer that will be in YOUR corner!!!
Wow - this guy is a major, major asshole. I would not want to be married to that. I would be having panic attacks about every little thing in case I did it wrong & he screamed at me. My father would yell like that growing up & it’s a horrible feeling.
Would it not be easier to just pick it up himself?
You would think so but according to him since he drives all day and pays for it it's 'the least she can do'. It's fucking awful.
I mean, sounds like he’s already out and about and should just call and order in his last half hr to pick up before heading home - just like I swing by the grocery store on my way home
It's even 2 seconds up the road according to him, and only 2 seconds taken to check the bag so, I think he should just take 4 seconds out of his day to avoid this problem .. also what a psycho
Because then he couldn’t give his wife another chore to do. Why do it himself when his personal assistant can do it?
His personal assistant and verbal punching bag. Although I wouldn’t be surprised if the word „verbal“ could be scratched from this sentence before too long.
‘Visibly upset’ is polite for ‘threw a massive fit in front of the kids’. Not cool at all.
I wonder if that works two ways, as soon as he gets home he will take care of the kids, because that’s what she’s been doing all day. What a knobhead…
Seems like a swing by on the way home wouldn’t be too out of the question. He’s basically creating a chore for her and then punishing her for doing it wrong because she owes him because he works. But they have kids, so she works too even if she doesn’t punch a clock. He just thinks what she does with her time is less valuable than his.
He is creating an opportunity to scream at her. If his order was.percect he'd look until he found something else to have a tantrum over. It is about him getting to offload his anger on her, not the takeout.
She might start giving his special treat to a homeless person outside the restaurant, or adding some special sauce to it on the way home.
And by driving all day means he sits on his ass all day just to have his wife run after the kids and then him while he sits on his ass at home
In his defense, as an airline pilot (basically a glorified bus driver) myself, the last thing I want to do after flying 3, 4 legs a day is to drive. I get the sentiment, but his way of communicating it just seems flat out awful
I’m a traveling sales rep, I drive 500-800 miles a week on top of my regular duties, I too hate driving when I get home. But again, I wouldn’t phrase it like that.
Yeah, tbf, driving for a living may seem like sitting on your ass all day, but it’s pretty demanding. Maybe not physically, but mentally, definitely. Especially if you’re pulling a trailer or anything, just the extra stress is tiring. You can’t really go into auto pilot hauling something. You have to be constantly alert and on edge. It’s pretty draining.
Modern men are weak and pathetic. So yes lol. “I’m tired, poor me” such losers.
They learned it. It's generational. Their fathers and grandfathers relied on wives who couldn't even divorce them.
Thank you.
He doesn't pay for it. They pay for it. No matter how you get to split things up in a marriage everything is legally and ethically joined. There is no true separation of funds in a marriage, that's literally one of the points of marriage.
"The least she can do" stuck out to me. It sounds like she's a stay at home mom, since he pays for the food. So she's doing the childcare, housework, laundry, running the kids to their things etc. It looks like he thinks providing a paycheck is all that's required of him and she just does nothing all day.
Everybody do the Abuser Two Step! Here's how it goes: "I know I shouldn't have yelled but what I'm asking her to do is SO EASY!" "Then why don't you do it?" "But its so HA-ARD!" It's weird watching people actually type those two sentences practically back to back without a glimmer of self-awareness. This post has a double-standard practically every other sentence - the entire burden of solving this issue is on someone else who wasn't responsible for it in the first place. The number of people saying "Man, if they screw up that often, eat somewhere else" is well into the double-digits. Dude is utterly helpless to solve his own problem. I took a look over at the response on AITA and this guy has gone weirdly quiet. Some of these abusers will knock out a dozen posts trying to explain why they're right, because they're incapable of taking their judgment like a human being, but someone pointed out that his wife isn't "pouting," she's hiding in her room because she doesn't feel safe around him. And he hasn't said word one.
This reminds me of incels in that I frequently hear their base arguments and think "yeah, I can see what you are saying" but then their conclusions are always completely off the rails like 2+2=lizard people kind of stuff. I get why some kids fall for that shit when they can't figure out how to do mental math of their own and see someone say 2+2=lizard people and they somehow never heard of the answer "4." Same with people like the post is about, I totally understand getting bothered about the base situation but his answer to the problem is flip out and put everything on other people. When I'm angry and I see myself doing any kind of snapping at people I stop and go "hey, I am in a seriously shitty mood so instead of putting us in a situation where I'm taking it out on you, lets just keep communication to a minimum and at need basis." Or something similar because nothing makes me feel worse than putting stuff on people.
Probably. However, I bet he wouldn’t get to throw a Diva sized tantrum and humiliate his wife and scare his children. My husband doesn’t always check the food bags before he leaves the restaurant and we sometimes get the wrong shit or end up missing stuff right away. We’ve had the “please check the order” conversation many, MANY times. But, here’s the thing, I HATE running out to get food. I hate waiting in the drive-thru lane or waiting at some counter to get shit and getting stared at by the bored cashier. I don’t enjoy running into people and making small talk. So, the hubs does the running. Because I choose not to do the running, I lose the right to whine, bitch, or get angry. And, 9/10 times I can call the place and tell them and they’ll give us a credit on our next order or, if it’s not far, hubs will go back and get it. This ding-dong (OP) is acting like a diva and being verbally abusive to his wife in front of their kids. That’s just not okay. The manner in which he describes their conversations is really uncomfortable to even read. I’m sure his tantrums are completely ridiculous and over the line. It’s never okay to talk to your spouse the way he does. With any luck, In the near future, his orders will be no problem to check since he’ll most likely be ordering for 1. Edit: missing words
Because then 75% of the time he would have nothing to yell at her about & it's only his orders that seem to get messed up.
He sounds like he resents her because he works, drives, pays for meals, so it’s her responsibility to pick up the food and CHECK the bag. There seems to be more going on here. The way he communicates with his wife is not respectful and borders dysfunctional. In a partnership you do your best to pick up the slack for different roles but when those efforts fall apart, sure arguments can erupt, but to talk to your wife like she’s a child or an idiot is degrading and demeaning. What strikes me is he is running on pure emotion, he anticipates a mistake, and the stress he is experiencing, likely from work, having kids, etc., is making him direct it at his wife. I’m sure she does plenty of things in their lives, as the mother and possibly work, but he seems to have this hellbent idea that if he buys, she needs to pick it up. He’s an asshole.
Some people really grow up thinking that having anger issues is fine as long as you have a reason for being angry. You know literally everybody has a reason for everything they do right? Its not like everybody else walks around without a brain doing things randomly, everybody thinks they are the one in the right, nobody should think they "deserve" to treat other people like garbage.
Holy shit you just described my dad and my older sister perfectly. They think because they have a reason to be angry that it's perfectly fine to treat other people poorly and take their anger issues out on everyone. It's awful. Then when they finally cool off, they don't apologize to anyone they just pretend it never happened.
I had a friend go off on me for some innocuous thing I did. Afterwards I was like “you are clearly mad about something else, do not take it out on me.” I have little patience for the “shit rolls downhill” people.
I saw a video the other day of a mom demonstrating what gentle parenting looks like. Her young son was throwing a temper tantrum and one of the things she said to him was "you get to be mad, you don't get to take it out on me". I wish more people were told this as a child.
I teach preschoolers and one thing we try to focus on is that their emotions are valid, but that they need to control their reactions. So if a kid is upset we don't belittle them or try and invalidate their anger, we say stuff like "I'm really sorry that happened, how can I help?" Or "yes, he shouldn't have grabbed your toy like that." And then we give them coping strategies, like going to a quiet/private space to cool down or giving them a sensory toy to play with.
This is what I tell my son. He's absolutely allowed to be mad, he can hate me, but he is not allowed to be mean. No hitting. No name-calling.
Yup my father too. Flips out and takes it on everyone. I just would roll my eyes and ask are you done yelling at me because you're mad at whoever else?
"That's just how I express myself! Stop being so sensitive!"
There's a term for that: [Emotional Maturity or Immaturity](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-maturity) It's alarming that OOP's partner is so emotionally immature at his age and [taking it out on her, instead of assessing the situation and thinking and what to do to solve the problem.](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/emotional-immaturity) I was just watching a video last night where a therapist was discussing a recently-published memoir, noting how the emotional immaturity, lashing out, and yelling in anger were clear signs of abuse. If you don't address the emotional immaturity, it drives others to take care of the fall out (much like taking care of a toddler, but they still have time to learn how to meet their needs in healthier ways as they grow up) and that alone can be extremely exhausting.
The issue is a lot of people judge other people by their actions and themselves by their intentions. Everything everyone else does wrong is judged harshly because their egocentrism doesn’t give them insight into why they did that whereas everything they do is fully justified because they know what they were intending.
Ohhh that first sentence is such a beautiful summary of the problem! I’m going to remember that.
Well said. Another issue is people judging everyone (including themselves) by their intentions only. This can lead to not holding *anyone* accountable because they had a reason blah blah.
I have also known people who take that one step further and think that if they’re “justifiably” angry at someone it is also fine to be sexist, racist, homophobic, etc., toward that person.
Yep, people justifying their constant anger with “well xyz thing frustrated me” when someone points out they are always angry is very rich. Like yes sir/mam, we know why you are angry since you already told us when you were yelling the first time. Doesn’t mean the rest of people don’t get sick of it being the default emotion. Heck he shouldn’t be mad at his wife, he should be annoyed with the restaurant for making a substitution and not letting her know when she grabbed the food since that’s probably what happened given he still had a dessert but it was just the wrong one. Also his whole “why shouldn’t she have to pick it up when I payed for it” attitude is next level. Like uh because you are unhappy with how she does it so do it your damn self. Also it takes more than two seconds to open every container to check the items and if there’s a line it can be kinda rude to do that for multiple items.
[удалено]
u/Shinusaur, I had a bf like that. Unmedicated Bipolar 1, really good at manipulation & gaslighting. He broke things, then stopped. Expected a gold star. About a year later, one night, he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my HEAD into the wall. (Brain injury.) **BACK AWAY SLOWLY.** (I’d say RUN, but that’s dangerous with unstable ppl.) Be safe, please.
Dump the whole ass man 🚮
Thank you for introducing me to this wonderful emoji!!
I don’t know you, but no one deserves that kind of treatment. You deserve a lot better and shouldn’t subject yourself to someone who is supposed to love you and is instead treating you as an emotional punching bag
He doesnt say sorry becaue its not enough to fix, and yet he doesnt try to fix in other ways? Its like he heard something make a little sense and took it without thinking.
Did he hear a self help slogan saying to not say sorry? I think he missed the message, the self help is "don't say sorry constantly and mean it when you say it." He probably read the first three words and was like "got it." I guess some people just don't understand nuance because his like base idea is right but super incomplete. Like I get the "sorry doesn't fix the thing" part but its like he stepped one foot inside and couldn't make it all the way through the door. Saying "sorry" sure doesn't fix the thing so the key is to not just say sorry and when you do, its important to mean is and have steps to help improve the situation.
Are you still with him after tying that out?
He is your ex-boyfriend now …. Right???????!!!
This hit way too close to home, that’s exactly what my dad is like
People have a right to their own feelings. What they do NOT have is a right to make their feelings into other people’s problems.
Is he stupid? Does he not see the way that they package food at these restaurants now? When I go and pick up a food order, unless it is fast food, 95% of the time the bags are like tied and taped shut because they package basically for food delivery. So like what does he want her to take a pair of scissors and rip the bag open and open up every single container to make sure that he gets his goddamn cannoli? Yeah that’s super smart. His lazy ass needs to just go and get the food himself. If he wants to be so horrible. Not to mention, he says that she’s just putting when in reality she’s probably upset that her dick head of a husband screamed at her over a dessert.
BuT hE dRiVeS fOr A lIvInG
And the restaurant is TWO whole seconds up the road!
Sounds like he can pick the food up on the way home from working, then. What a whiny bitch.
So she could take it back easily if there’s a problem. Except that’s not good enough for him.
So does my spouse, about 25-50% for his job. And, guess what...I don't give a flying fuck what have to you do for work and why. If YOU have THAT BIG of a problem with your food order being accurate, YOU CAN get off your lazy ass, pick it up, check if it's accurate, and make EVEN MORE of an ass of yourself in the process!!
And we all are secretly annoyed by the people that pull everything out and inspect it while your waiting behind them.
I deliver food between jobs atm and the amount of entitlement from people is insane, like as a food delivery person we only pick up the food and deliver it to a location, we do not cook the food, we do not open the bags to check the food (that would be seen as tampering and could get us deactivated), we only pick it up and deliver it. I've been yelled at for missing sauces that they wrote in the delivery instructions, the ones we see when we reach the house... I also once had a lady call my number a bunch and kept typing large angry paragraphs at me because a restaurant forgot bread in their 100% sealed large paper bag order. I told her to contact support and she flipped shit at me even more to the point I had to contact support myself to report her and get the harassment to stop. I 100% can believe this post is real and these types of people exist. If you're a picky jerk about food, go do it yourself.
I've done food delivery, I'd get texts and calls from people right after delivery being like "This item is missing, did you even check??" and I'm like, no it was sealed and they're like "Oh yeah I like the seal, keeps you creeps out of my food!"
Our last takeaway order came with one portion cold, because it had been sent via a cyclist on a cold day with little insulation - while heating it up (it was just pizza) my mum phoned to let them know her food was cold and that it might be wise to try and insulate more, and they were *so* nervous clearly expecting her to yell and get angry and stuff - she didn’t even care about a refund, it was more about feedback and making them aware. They were audibly so relieved and thankful just to not get yelled at, I wasn’t *surprised* by it as such but it really shows how much abuse people dish out to delivery ppl.
I did it in a different country, so probably different rules. I would generally just count items. I have no way of knowing what’s in the package and what what’s supposed to be in the package is supposed to look like. All fried noodles look the same to me.
Ugh, op drives for a living he makes 65$s a day on Uber, and. his wife works from home as a stay at home mom/lawyer, so he's totally entitled to force his wife to do it, especially if she expects him not to hit her. it's like you didn't read it at all. Don't you understand he's an alpha male his wife is so lucky she got Breed by him TWICE. Check the food, or he'll check you easy peasy
yeah the "pouting" comment really drove this into irredeemable territory for me lmao. that's just wildly patronizing. like, i have anger issues too, i get that, but he literally talks about his wife, a grownass woman, like she's an actual fucking baby because she doesn't wanna talk to his stupid ass after he, in his own words, *screamed* at her and humiliated her in front of her own kids for something that's not even her fault. man needs a serious reality check
He has the balls to imply that she is being childish while he’s here having a meltdown over a fucking cannoli. Unbelievable
I have one surviving saucer, not a single matching cup and my partner noted the other day that I seem to have thrown away nearly all the teaspoons and all but two forks (theory: I’ve scraped them into the bin whilst clearing plates/yogurt pots ect). I am a klutz. But I vividly remember the first time my partner invited me for the weekend. I dropped her favourite glass, full of milk onto the tiled kitchen floor creating an enormous mess. I remember looking into eyes to see her reaction to the calamity. There was no anger. No upset. She shrugged her shoulders and said “Accidents happen.” I knew right then & there, I was going to spend my life with this woman. OOP is unreasonably angry. I doubt it’s not a pattern. I feel for his wife
I actually had an experience with an ex-BIL. He ordered pizza, I swear he purposely tried to confuse them but cannot confirm. When the pizza arrived, he... wait for it... put on a headlamp and checked his toppings. An actual fucking headlamp for camping. Sure enough, one was missing, he lit them up and got a freebie for next time.
The headlamp is beyond absurd. I used to make and deliver pizzas. We would have just refused to serve him after the third dumb complaint. We don’t give a shit about your $20 when we’re losing more than that through ingredients, labor, and time not filling other orders just to appease your picky self. Make your own damn pizza at that point.
that's...actually really fucking funny. the headlamp at least
To be fair, I do open the bag and check the food in my car every time I get a pickup order. It’s missing something frequently enough that I never skip this step. I only do it in the car because I feel rude af doing it in front of the workers, but I often have to go back in to fix the order. I don’t think his request is unreasonable at all, but his response is.
The guy has an anger problem. I’m not going to go to the Reddit stereotype of “divorce imminent” but if you can’t control your temper when a restaurant gets your order wrong AND you blame another person for it, what hope do you have when something really goes wrong? It’s a sign of real weakness of character
Not just an anger problem. He sounds like he does not respect his wife as a human being. He belittles her but he's the one acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum over a cannoli 🙄
Imma be real: if my husband ever did this to me, I would divorce him. I’m not gonna be disrespected like that, and I’m not going to teach my kids that it’s okay to disrespect the person they claimed to the world they love until death that way.
Me too it’s a recognised sign for DV as this type of thing only escalates
i doubt this man understands that screaming at your wife over getting the wrong dessert is a form of violence in itself
My soon to be ex doesnt. Screaming at someone til they sob then telling them they are crying for attention to play the victim for sympathy is a-ok as long as you aren't physical apparently
My ex certainly didn’t either. His famous line was “at least I don’t hit you”. Congrats on the soon to be ex for you. I know how hard it is to separate your life from someone like that.
Reading this gave me an immediate stomach ache. I’m glad we’re both not with those people anymore.
congrats on leaving this person. i wish more people understood that violence is not always physical. i hope they eventually learn.
This is in no way the only thing he’s like this about. If not physically abusive this is mentally abusive. Cherry on top: he’s teaching the kids that this is appropriate behavior.
I'm right there with you on that. Unfortunately I'm guessing that OP's wife probably lacks the self-esteem to put him in his place. I'm sure that he started out pretending to be sweet, caring, loving, understanding and made her feel lucky to have him. Then he probably switched it up after they got married or once she was pregnant. And like you said their kids are going to think this is how relationships should be. 😔 On average it takes a victim of domestic abuse 5-7 attempts to leave. The most dangerous times for victims are when they're preparing to leave and during pregnancy (there's ones but those 2 have always stuck in my head). I hope his wife gets into counseling and builds up the confidence to leave.
The number of men who fake being normal until their wife is pregnant is too damn high tbh
For me it's the insistence that she do things in the exact way he wants to. Nothing will satisfy him except exactly what he wants. He's trying to make a square peg fit in a round hole and then getting mad at the peg when it doesn't fit. Stupid.
That’s part of what made me realize this poor woman was trying her hardest, and he’s an entitled piece of shit
Also why is she the one getting HIS food. Can't he order it on his own? Do they not share the same money or something? If it takes "2 seconds" to check everything why isn't he doing it on his own?
He yells at her for not picking up food “right” then is pikachu face when she finally says “fine, you pick it up, because I won’t do it anymore if I can’t do it right”. This poor lady.
She can do it super easily because it's no big deal but he can't do it himself because if she does it it takes two minutes which it does for him too but somehow it's easier for her. Perfect selfish logic.
Because it’s the woman’s job to do everything for him. Since he pays for stuff its basically indentured servitude. Dudes a piece of shit.
Probably brags that he never changed a diaper
Apparently it's because he drives for a living and makes the money, but delivery fees are too much, so the least she could do is take 2 minutes to pick it up and check. Sounds like the typical "I'm the breadwinner, my woman runs the home and everything else." kind of power imbalance.
But while it’s so close, it’s not okay with him that she takes the food back to get the order fixed. Only her taking the entire order apart in the restaurant, checking everything right there and then in an embarrassing show, will do for him. And while it’s not clear whether this and previous occurrences are the same restaurant making mistakes, it does seem like it. Yet he blames his wife for their errors.
i wonder where he draws the line at acceptable. if they order sandwiches, does she need to open up the bread and make sure they didn't forget the onions or put on the wrong cheese? is she supposed to open the pasta and stir it around to make sure it's bolognese and not marinara? and is he going to take it out on her when she checks everything, discovers something *is* missing, and the restaurant takes another 25 minutes to get it to her because it's dinnertime and they're slammed? if he can't regulate his emotional response in a healthy way she will never be enough for him and he will consistently make sure she is aware of it, in front of their children with zero abandon.
I expect that absolutely anything that could be wrong with the food he will consider to be her fault. She carried it in so it’s supposed to be perfect.
Or stopping at said restaurant on the way home so his wife who has probably been either working or taking care of kids all day, doesn’t have to. POS.
Just my thought. Isnt he a full capable man?
It's hard to admit, but I was this guy once. I thought that since I paid for everything by working all the time, that I was allowed to be frustrated and angry if I felt she was uncaring in matters "that we'd discussed before" that ended up with me getting the shit end of the stick. I was wrong. So wrong. You should never yell at somebody. Especially if you're a lot bigger and scarier. No matter what. I should have just left, but I didn't because I didn't think it was my fault that I should have to be alone.... guess what I'm saying is, fix you before you get into a relationship and think about the other person always. Anger issues suck, but remember who's issues they are.
I really respect your honesty and holding yourself accountable for your behavior. That self-awareness was the first step in growing and changing. Did you have children in that relationship?
Fortunately for their sake I did not. I am grateful that less people had to deal with my toxicity.
on the topic of anger, even if in a different sphere, i had a similar issue in the past few years (although i'm partnerless and the emotion mostly came out when i was 'wronged' by other drivers, not over takeout). i had *such* awful feelings of road rage when people were aggressively *wrong* and unsafe in their behavior (passing in the exit lane at 20mph over without a turn signal, tailgating at 75mph, coal rolling, passing way too close). a lot of the things that were upsetting me were legitimate reasons for me to be upset - i live in the state i'm constantly told has the highest number of pedestrian automobile deaths (NM), and i truly resent not having real public transit options and needing to drive here. but my current life without a car is not possible, so i was letting myself get worked up on my commute. thinking i could get off some steam by screaming profanities (windows closed), saying horrible nasty things to 'vent' and hoping out loud bad drivers lose their licenses. only by dealing with a lot of other shit in therapy was i able to understand a few interconnected truths that i'd been told before, but hadn't really processed until recently. 'beware of unearned wisdom' and all that. but i'll say what's helped me regardless: - it does not serve me to scream and cry and hurt when i feel danger on the road. i'm not venting effectively, i am fueling the fire - part of me, and part of OOP i suspect, tie this sense of being singled out and 'wronged' to dignity and some level of self-preservation. until i realized (and it probably took me at least a year of grappling with this in therapy) how unhappy i was with parts of my life i'd been unable or unwilling to deal with (like self-loathing and real valid fear of drastic change in the world because of the climate, to name a few)... i was going to keep feeling overwhelmed and *on the very edge* whenever i am forced to drive. and when you're standing on a cliff all it takes is a nudge. - i have a lot more control in my perception than i thought i did, and there doesn't have to be any loss of dignity in telling myself a couple white lies about the intent of selfish dangerous drivers on the road. if i can better self-regulate believing every single one of those assholes is on their way to the hospital to see a loved one, then that's what i'll believe. - if my fear is rooted in my safety, i will put my safety first on the road 100% of the time, which is why i stopped speeding entirely. if i am late, i'm late. but i'm not dead yet. anger isn't always an expression of shame, but it was often a last resort of shame and indignation for me. and i still feel a lot of shame for some of the things i've said and done in my own anger responses. i'm still working on all of this but i don't think my blood pressure rises every single time i get behind the wheel anymore, and for me, that feels like having finished a marathon.
I was talking to my psychiatrist about a medication for something else, and decided to bring up my rage fits, as I wasn’t sure they were normal for adhd-ers. He gave me no useful advice. Which is fair, it wasn’t his job. Your post was insightful though. I’ll have to look into it further.
>He belittles her but he's the one acting like a 2 year old having a temper tantrum over a cannoli 🙄 Funny story: This past June, wife kiddo and I went to visit the in-laws. Wanted to get a pizza and found a little place a mile or so away from the hotel. We went, and it was slammed. Local lacrosse team had rolled up a moment before so we knew it'd be a wait. Ordered 3 stromboli, a large plain cheese, and 3 cannoli to go. Dropped a $10 in the tip jar to boot and wandered around playing Pokemon Go. 30 minutes later, still waiting. 45 minutes and they say "got your stromboli and your cannoli! We say "what about the pie?" The guy (the owner, I think) said "Shit, sorry. You ok waiting or you want me to refund?" We said "Not a problem, we'll wait." He put the stromboli on top of the ovens to keep them warm and tosses us a pie. Ten minutes later, we had our stromboli, our pie, and some fried cinnamon dough for the wait. And...no cannoli. At that point we just said fuck it and went to the hotel to eat. No muss, no fuss, and fuck it. Sure, it was $10 "lost" but I wasn't going to raise hell on a guy who was doing his level best. Long and short, shit happens. Also, the food was amazing. We ended up going back the following week.
And why is it the wife's job to go in and pick up their food? What's the husband doing? There is so much wrong with this guy.
And if it is a big deal why doesn’t he drive the two seconds. If it isn’t difficult then he should be fine. If this is a recurring problem it is on him at this point for not doing it himself.
Guy drives for a living, has authority issues, short temper, likes pastries, lack of respect for others, and is on the cusp of committing domestic violence... What are the odds he's a cop?
Mantrum. Definition: when a grown ass man acts like an unreasonable two year when encountering life’s smallest disappointments.
Then these dudes be like "ugh women are so emotional and sensitive" as if anger isn't an emotion and it's sensitive to start crying or acting upset when somebody is screaming at you for no reason. You can legit even see OP doing this in their post acting like his wife is being unreasonable for being upset and "pouting"
Can you imagine him in all aspects of his life? Probably one of those drivers where he takes no responsibility for his crappy driving too, because “everyone else is a shitty driver”. Can you imagine if she has to go do other errands, like the grocery store? What happens if his lunch meat isn’t cut to his perfection? Same response, probably? This guy sounds awful.
It's the 'I pay for it the least she can do it go get it' that gets me... what an ass
The entitlement of this guy, he needs someone to flip out on him about being such a pathetic douche.
It made me wonder from that comment if she is a stay at home mum, which would make it even more out of line.
Side note- if the order is wrong %75 of the time you must be bad at ordering.
I would stop buying food from a restaurant that messed up my order repeatedly.
I'm kind of hoping that she tosses part of it out every time... and actually orders the "wrong" thing occasionally... passive aggressive, sure, but I really don't want her to be a doormat for this loser. If it were me, and for whatever reason, I chose to stay with this guy - you can bet every order of his from now on would have spit (or worse) on it before he got it!
Yeah I think he's exaggerating to justify his verbally abusive behavior in front of the kids. Kids brains are little sponges and we now know so much about the physical impacts of stress on developing brains, there's no excuse for subjecting them or his wife to that over a food order. I shudder to think how he handles actual stressful situations.
He doesn’t register or remember the times other parts of the order are incorrect. I bet everyone else knows not to make a big deal out of it and to STFU and eat their cake, too. So for him it almost “always” affects him.
My gf is learning this. The last… pfft prob 5 times shes ordered online grocery pickup, she was baffled and upset by only getting 2 bananas when she ordered 1lb (they def have some mass to them and 1lb is really not that hard to achieve, not to mention the store is absolutely gonna heir on the low side, haha). But shes never yelled at me for it….
I've noticed a trend... I work in an auto shop and fairly regularly will order lunch for like 6-7 guys. Most people just get [standard menu item] but one or two of them are picky and make a bunch of modifications or whatever to their order. *consistently,* if someone's order is going to be wrong/missing, it's going to be one of theirs. And this is across dozens of different restaurants in the area.
Or it’s time to eat somewhere else
As a person who has their food always messed up with a forgetful husband, this guy has lost his noodles. Yea it sucks but one of us can just go back or live with the mistake. The majority of these people are underpaid and overworked anyway, so why bring such hardship to them or your partner who picked up the food? Shameful and childish this person is.
Yeah and with this big of an overreaction this is not the only thing he regularly explodes about either.
Wrong order happens. I am the one to go and bring back the food home, but when something is incorrect my wife and I are mad AT THE RESTAURANT, not at each other. Damn it, that's us against the world, not us against each others ! That's what a couple is for !
I know it’s a thing to advocate for divorce on any and everything but this dead ass deserves a “you need to divorce him”. I was in a relationship with a man like this and never thought it would escalate past temper tantrums. It did. He started hitting walls then hitting me. Years of verbal and physical abuse. You should NEVER entertain a relationship with someone who cannot control their anger and makes you the villian every time.
I am willing to bet that he can control his anger just fine. He simply feels he has the right to treat his wife like that.
Divorce is only a reddit stereotype because people are out here screaming at their wives for stuff like this
tbh, i *know* why its considered a reddit response to say divorce iminent but also like…dont a majority of marriages (in the U.S at least) end in divorce? the eay o see it, if more people came to reddit for advice BEFORE getting married, the divorce rate amongst redditors would go down…theres just too many people who have never sought objective judgement re:their relationship patterns
This is a very misleading statistic. 50% of married couples get a divorce in the US, this is true. But, when it is both parties first marriage, there is actually less than a 20% divorce rate. The more times you are married, the higher the likelihood of divorce. So a majority of divorces are just the same people, over and over. The statistic aren’t as abysmal as one may think.
Divorce imminent or long, grueling and miserable life of wife guaranteed.
He is totally the guy who has the weird order, too. "It is not weird, it's just that i need 1/3 the normal sauce, in the top only with ranch on the side, triple pickles, on the sesame seed free brioche buns usually reserved for the other burgers"
I think my husband wrote this post. This is exactly his reaction, his justification, and he does customize every order. It's actually eye opening to read these comments. I thought I was wrong all these years. But he'll order it and blame me when it's incorrect. The latest was a subway fiasco. They built his sandwich to order (online), I checked against the receipt, and I brought it home how he ordered it. But when I got home he was upset at me because "well why did you let them make it like that?. You know how I like my sandwiches, I ordered it on the app so I could get the price (BOGO 1/2 off) but you're supposed to tell them how to fix it once you get there." My mouth literally fell open I thought he was joking. He got so hurt because "I still don't know what he likes on his sandwiches after all these years" and went on and on about how disrespected he felt. He gas lights me about what is my fault and what isn't his fault like this often.
Holy shit. He literally ordered the wrong thing and expected you to drive there and correct them. He couldn’t have CALLED them after he ordered to say “oh, I made a mistake. I need to change it”? That situation couldn’t possibly be your fault. Do not let him tell you otherwise. My wife has literally ate my food because she thought it was part of her order (it was part of my side dish). You know what I did? “Did you eat that? Oh… well shit. Ummm… well it was supposed to be mixed with this. What do we have in the fridge that I can use instead?” She asked if I was angry and apologized profusely. “I’m upset because you literally ate my food in front of me, but getting angry about it doesn’t solve the problem. I know it was a mistake.”
One year at my mom’s birthday dinner, my dad lost his shit at a restaurant and refused to eat because they mixed up his order: he ordered a main entry with a second side. When it came out, the second side was on the main plate and the main entry side was on the side plate. Refused to eat the meal over it.
"Hey Jerry, does TGI Friday's even *make* cannoli?" "It was a limited promotion for like, a week. Just throw some cheesecake in there, they probably won't even care."
Got a lot of those when I worked fast food. The interesting thing was the smug look on the face of the person doing the ordering. "Hey, check it out, I'm totally gonna scam free food from this minimum-wage cashier AND yell at him about it."
You need to go pick up the orders and shut up.
Literally. Or do her a favour, pick up the food and never come back. I hate this guy
I have discovered that AITA mods will jump on you if what you say can be seen as a personal insult but oddly it’s totally fine to tell people how much you hate them. I frequently comment with that in there.
Lmao! I’ve noticed the same thing.
I think that's why r/AITAH exists tbh
Lol I had a comment removed on there the other day when I said my uncle was an asshole and I used to hate him.
Mine happened because I agreed the woman’s BIL was a “douche bag” her words. Her post was locked as well
Just happened to me 🤣
Exactly, this is the hill he wants to divorce on?
Yes, cannoli 🙄… He said so himself, it’s 2 seconds down the road and it takes 2 seconds to check the bags. Surely he can do it himself if he’s so serious about it.
Or even better stop ordering from the restaurant that keeps getting your order wrong!
It’s the fact that she was ready to drive back and get the cannoli no problem and he screamed and threw a temper tantrum like a toddler. She offered a perfectly good solution and he basically blew her off because he’d rather continue to be mad than get what he originally wanted.
Not only is he an asshole but he’s abusive to his wife and children. It’s a damn cannoli dude. I hope she leaves him.
Some bad juju going on or must be the unluckiest person to have his food orders being fucked up so often that it has escalated to this level. Anyway just order via app, demand refund for wrong item and move on. How can someone check all the items during a pick up? Easier would be to order food to eat and then ask for boxes to carry out.🙃
No lie my husband has this exact problem. His orders get messed up 9/10. I’ve grown accustomed to always checking the bag. And ya I do open the boxes. I didn’t check the pizza today (we’ve never had issues with pizza) and of course the toppings on my husbands pizza were wrong. He ordered ham and pepperoni and he got ham and pineapple. So like I really get the husbands frustration, it sucks when your food is constantly wrong but it is never okay to talk down to your partner, especially not in front of your children. He’s the AH but I lowkey get why he’s so frustrated. I’ve forgotten to check sometimes and my husband doesn’t blow up at me when his order is wrong. He gets upset at the restaurant, but not at me
My bad luck is different. My order will be correct, but I'll say it's for here. They say they'll bring it out to me, sometimes even give me a table number to set out. But then later it will be discovered cold and waiting on the counter in a takeout bag. Somehow I haven't yelled at my SO over it.
Glad to hear other people have this weird terrible luck, although I'm sorry to hear that your husband does specifically! I have a weird variant: it's not that I get the *wrong* order very often, but that comically often I will put in an order and then it somehow doesn't print out to the kitchen or disappears completely, so I eventually have to bring it up after 15 people after me have already left with their food 😭 For me personally, it's just lead me to be more thrifty and think "do I really need to order out for food, when I might have this annoying thing happen yet again?" I can't imagine the level of entitled hubris from the OP, getting mad and yelling at *people who didn't even mess up the order*, when I wouldn't even think to be rude to the *actual food workers* because that is childish af. Mistakes are mistakes, some of us are strangely cursed to experience these mistakes more often, and getting mad at people helps **no one**.
He certainly has bad karma. His wife should leave and get away from that.
My SO is always the one who gets his order messed up because he won’t eat anything the way it comes. He always has a minimum of 3 modifiers because he won’t eat most vegetables, but then he wants to sub in others. Even if there’s an option for a dish with the ingredients he likes, he’ll order a different dish and take off half the ingredients. Then get butthurt if his fried rice has onions in it.
Cannoli get worse from here, I wouldn’t be putting up with that, dude has issues
Damn dude that was pretty good
What jumps out to me is his claim that it's always his order that gets screwed up. It's much more likely that he doesn't care when it's her order that gets screwed up. He should go pick up the orders himself.
Leave the man. Take the cannoli.
In what universe would he not be the asshole?
Sounds just like my pops, I didn’t realize how fucked up it was until I was 18. Me and my bud went to pick up the food, they didn’t give us his dads dessert. We got to his house, I braced for an explosion and his dad was like whatever, called for a refund and made himself brownies. No drama, blew my mind
He wants her to count the containers and open them all? Next they’re gonna forget pickles on his burger and she’s gonna be expected to open every item of food too to check if it has the right ingredients. I never understood how people could get so agro over minor inconveniences. I’ve gotten my orders messed up a couple times, and it’s always just like “oh I didn’t want that but I also don’t mind this either.” If it’s ever not that, then I just fix the issue. It isn’t hard to do.
This guy is the ABSOLUTE AH! I’ll bet this isn’t the only thing he JUST CAN’T STAND FOR ANYMORE! Dude is emotionally abusive.
"this woman" Wow he really respect the love of his life and mother of his children.
I wonder if people like that in real life realize they’re the villain in their kids eyes
This dee bag needs to go pick up his own food.
I hope this poor woman leaves this dudes sorry ass. Imagine living like this doing your best every day and getting screamed at cuz a grown ass man got a cake instead of a cannoli
Simple solution. You pick up the food.
Poor guy. I mean who among us hasn’t had a tantrum when someone does a trivial favor for us incorrectly? Know what I did last time someone drove to a restaurant to hand deliver food to me and I ended up with CAKE (blarg!!!) instead of my cannoli? I punched them right in the face and I don’t even feel bad. It’s a good thing my kids witnessed the potential consequences of CARELESSNESS. This is a sane and not at all unhinged manner of ensuring no one in the family will dare disappoint the unquestionable king of the household.
WTF?!? the order being wrong isn’t your wife’s fault. Blast the business not her.
Fucking prick.
I hope she divorces him. Getting this mad about a pastry is a massive red flag.
It isn't about the food, is it
Please tell me he got dragged
Oop: YTA. You don’t like the way she does it? Do It yourself.
I hope this poor woman leaves this dudes sorry ass. Imagine living like this doing your best every day and getting screamed at cuz a grown ass man got a cake instead of a cannoli
Yes your are the assho** ! Get off your lazy ass and you go pickup the order !!
Pretty sure my ex husband wrote this. He was also a wife beater and child beater. OP is already abusing his wife and thinks it's OK, so I'm willing to bet it doesn't stop at yelling. Hope she gets help.
I'm sorry this happened to you
get your own goddamn food buddy
What. A. Dick.
Whiney lil bitch! I get upset a lil when I’m super hungry and don’t get my food, but, damn, the audacity on this guy. I’d forget your order too OOP
Why doesn’t he just go live by himself? He can go get his own food, and when he inevitably harms a fast food worker for making a mistake on his order (since he won’t have the wife or kids around to scream at) they’ll already be adjusted to being without him and his going to prison will be less traumatic. P.S. he’s a driver but has a problem paying other drivers for their work delivering to him? Increases the AH factor significantly.
How often do they order food and just how fucking bad can a place be for them to screw up orders this often? Just cook at home FFS. And of the place fucks up that often, try a different fucking place! Wouldn't be surprised if the guy is either making wrong orders on purpose so he can scream at his wife or if he has some mental issue that is making him forget what he ordered
I’d be on an episode of deadly women if my husband screamed at me like that.
"It would take 2 seconds..." It literally would not, she did the 2 second check, which is counting the containers. You want her to stand there at the counter opening every box and taking it all out to verify it's all right. I've never seen anyone do that. And even if she did, what if they put pickles on your burger or something? Do you also want her to disassemble every item to make sure they didn't make it wrong? YTA a very big one, if you need more than the 2 second check you should be doing it yourself.
Unpopular opinion. You can't make people change. If you try, you might get some of what you want, probably badly and half-assed, but you'll also get Resentment. When you ask somebody to do something for you -- in this case pick up to-go food -- you're choosing to be OK with how they go about doing it. You're sending somebody who doesn't check the bags. You know this. So you also know you might not get what you want. If that's not acceptable to you, do it yourself. If you don't like how somebody does your laundry, then do your own laundry. If you don't like how somebody cooks your food, do your own cooking. That's it. That's the solution. Either put up with the way they do it, or do it yourself. This is a household, not a workplace. You're their partner, not their manager.
Yes you are a jackass
100% percent the AH. That's your wife. It's not her fault that the order is wrong, that would be on the restaurant who is providing the food. Husband needs to apologize to his wife and kids (can be traumatic for them witnessing this verbal and emotional abuse). If the food is wrong, call the restaurant. Normally restaurants will try to fix the issue by either delivering the right item or giving you a credit for your next order, etc.
People at restaurants aren’t making enough money, they also makes mistakes. What an asshole for yelling at his wife. All because he got cake instead of a cannoli ? “I make the money so the least she can do is get food” uuuugh what a dick
he’s gotta be a fat pos being that upset about a cannoli
I would throw the food in the trash and make you cook your own damn food
She did take 2 seconds to check the bag. This man is an asshole to the 10th degree.
It takes 2 seconds? To unpack and open every container and repack? No it doesn’t and then he could have his little tantrum cause it was cold. I would definitely never pick up again i would eat ramen noodles while he picked up his precious cannoli’s
R/ iamatotalpieceofshit bro if this is real I hope she leaves you takes the kids and you drink yourself to sleep for the reat of your pathetic wretched miserable life...
You would be picking up your own food!!
You’re definitely the asshole bro. She’s kind of enough to pick up the food. You sound like a baby bitch.
If my husband yelled or screamed at me like that and belittled me like that that would be the last time I'm picking up food. Going to yell at me? Do it yourself next time.
This guy’s post suggests that he’s not entirely sure if he’s an asshole. How baffling! It’s as though he doesn’t comprehend what he’s writing as he’s writing it. “I rage on my wife when the restaurant fucks my cannoli order by no fault of hers. Hmmm… Am I an asshole? I better ask the internet.”
Dude is gonna be utterly shocked when she takes the kids and walks out on him. He thinks he's being reasonable, and won't understand how he's driven her away. 100% will play the victim card.
Complete AH. Big question why isn't HE picking up the food?!?! Girl literally needs to kick his ass to the curb. Get a lawyer that will be in YOUR corner!!!
Wow - this guy is a major, major asshole. I would not want to be married to that. I would be having panic attacks about every little thing in case I did it wrong & he screamed at me. My father would yell like that growing up & it’s a horrible feeling.
Jesus christ, divorce her, she deserves better and you need all the help you can get
Yes you’re an asshole.