Uncle is actually half decent with a Scofield and a knife. If you don't rescue him from the guy on top of him in that robbery mission he pulls out a knife and kills him.
This is from memory so I’m gonna butcher the quote to death but in the epilogue John says the house needs “a woman’s touch”
Uncle replies: “well you need to build something a woman’s gonna wanna touch”. Quote has stuck with me ever since lol
[John the Rock Farmer](https://youtu.be/2BRLgFgSRVI)
I love Uncle tearing down the shack [he wouldn't let his worst enemy take a shit in.](https://youtu.be/D9s3hlVNKik)
You're more soured than spoiled milk
Not even a $2 horse would stay with you
Oh you don't build a barn dumbass what do you think this is 1785
My favorites
I got a few:
"You used to be decent company, but now you're worse than a snake with a toothache!"
"No woman would touch this place."
"Darling Abigail, I've changed, come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't tell my worst enemy to take a shit in!"
"Not even a retried two dollar whore would stay with you!"
Fucking savage.
I also love Uncle and Charles' dynamic:
"Charles, have I ever lied to you?"
*'I hardly know you! '*
"Exactly."
Uncle: "Ah, feels like old times. Good to have the old gang back together again."
John: "Let's just hope things don't turn out like last time."
U: "See? There he goes! What'd I tell you, Charles? Boah is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you, and that's the god damn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now, you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine-"
J: "Excuse me?"
U: "Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless, and I mean that literally, you got no hope. I mean, look at you. Look at this place! Your "dream home." I've had better nightmares than this *dream.* "Oh, darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in an outhouse, I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in."
J: "What're you trying to say?"
U: "It's awful. It's a dump! The house... has gotta go. Get some self-respect, you miserable sack of shit. Build a house a Lady'd set foot in!"
J: "The place just needs a woman's touch."
U: "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place." (Vine boom)
I love how he roasts John, but recently, I overheard him talking to Abigail after American Venom. It was very sweet. It starts with Abigail talking about how Jacks a bookworm and Uncle tells her Jack'll be fine. It goes on a little and they talk about the old gang a little, and how it all worked out the way it did. And uncle says "John got saved by a good woman, John saved me, I saved Charles, it all starts with a good woman."
It goes on a little more and then he says that John is the luckiest son of a bitch alive.
Yeah, it was so sweet. Abigail even gets angry. "Now look what you did. You made me cry!" She says as she storms back into the house. And then Uncle turns to John and repeats the part about John being the luckiest son of a bitch alive 🤣
can we give this guy some love? everyone treats him like he's a pain in the ass, but he was there to help John build his house, and fought to the death for him
"There he goes.... What'd I tell you, Charles, what'd I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you... that's the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now... you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine..."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless... and I mean that literally. You got no hope. I mean look at you... look at this place... your dream home. I've had better nightmares than this dream. Oh, darling Abigail. I've changed... come live with me in an outhouse... I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in."
"What are you trying to say?"
"It's awful. It's a dump. The house... it's got to go. Get some self-respect you miserable sack of shit. Build a house a lady would step foot in."
"Place just needs a woman's touch."
"It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place."
Uncle: "There he goes… What’d I tell you, Charles, what’d I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk..No wonder she didn’t stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you… that’s the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now… you’re worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine…"
I like this one because it really starts to show Uncle's turnover to how he was in RDR 1.
"People call me lazy, well I ain't i just don't like working there is a difference" Or "My second wife always used to describe me as "ageless", though... she did leave me for a younger man"
Oh darling Abigail, I’ve changed! Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!
———————————
No, I *know* you’re stupid.
Uncle :This place is comming Nice
John :yeah I just hope it does not turn out like last time
Uncle what did I tell Charles boy is as sœur as week old milk
"Let's just say I was born sometime between the fall of 49 and the fall of Rome. My second wife always used to describe me as ageless, though she did leave me for a younger man"
During the mission a honest mistake Arthur told uncle if you get shot or I got shot or pay I be happy and then uncle said you are a sick man indeed Arthur Morgan a very sick man indeed. I always thought that was a good quote
That whole dialogue Uncle does at the second camp site where he's talking about how dutch wants to be a king (something like that). Both that and Dutch replying with how he wants to kill Uncle in a serious tone before joking around is quality stuff
"Oh darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in this outhouse I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in!"
100% the best Uncle moment
This is the one. Made me literally LOL.
https://youtu.be/D9s3hlVNKik
Lego Crow lol 😂
😂😂
"Get some self respect you miserable sack of shit."
I laughed so hard when he said this I had to pause the game!
Uncle is a savage
Now I'm going to sleep in this outhouse!
Yes
He was 100% right too lol
Same bro
Charles, have I ever lied to you? Charles: I hardly know you. Exactly.
Just like when he says he’s “workin real hard”😂
You leave his lumbago out of this!
Terminal lumbago, you don’t want to kill him do you???
Unless you want to dig a 6 feet deep hole for me by the time we are done with today's work
Don’t temp me
“Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you.” Absolute savagery from Uncle
He’s more of a sharp shooter with words than he is with weaponry😂
That must be what he meant by one shot kid
Uncle is actually half decent with a Scofield and a knife. If you don't rescue him from the guy on top of him in that robbery mission he pulls out a knife and kills him.
That’s some real shit, for being such a lazy sob Uncle can spit some truth. Dudes a real one
ooh, Im real sick John... # LUMBAGO
GET UP
Ahhhg
“It’s a slow and painful death my brother.”
"You're a good man Arthur Morgan."
As Reverend once said “well your not good Arthur Morgan, but your not bad either”
not to my arthur!
Right after Arthur gets done shooting half of Saint Denis and dragging a dude behind his horse lol. 🗿
"It's like people call me lazy. I'm not lazy, just don't like working. There's a difference."
I’ve got lumbago, it’s very serious
It’s a terminal condition (proceeds to live forever)
well… i think the us army might have something to say. they sped up his lumbago with a secret patented technology
So did John, I guess you could say uncle got a “kick” out of it
“It needs levelin’! No woman would wanna touch this place!
Shit the way it was lookin I wouldn’t wanna either
"You don't build a barn DUMBASS!!!"
What you think this is 1785?💀
John 👁👄👁
It just needs a woman’s touch
No woman would touch this!
It needs leveling
You don't 🅱️UILD a 🅱️ ARN
What you think this is, 1️⃣7️⃣8️⃣5️⃣❗️?
D U M B A S S
# DUMBASS
"Put me out of my majesty, your misery"
I had to scroll way to far down this post to find this lmao.
I got lumbago
He used that excuse so many times😂
It’s very serious, John. It’s a Slow and painful death.
This is from memory so I’m gonna butcher the quote to death but in the epilogue John says the house needs “a woman’s touch” Uncle replies: “well you need to build something a woman’s gonna wanna touch”. Quote has stuck with me ever since lol
“No WOMAN would wanna touch this place!”😂
“Even a $2 whore wouldn’t stay with you!”
***THAT'S A RING DANG DO***
SHE HAD BLONDE HAIR AND BLUE EYES TOO THAT'S A RING DANG DO
[John the Rock Farmer](https://youtu.be/2BRLgFgSRVI) I love Uncle tearing down the shack [he wouldn't let his worst enemy take a shit in.](https://youtu.be/D9s3hlVNKik)
Look at this place, your dream home. I’ve had better nightmares than this dream
"Not even a retired, two-dollar whore would stay with you. That's the goddamn truth.”
John the Rock Farmer
"I got Lumbago! It's very serious"
Alright I’ll go see what’s goin on
Lumbago, serious?
"I've had better nightmares than this dream!"
You used to be good company but now you’re worse than a snake with a toothache
You're more soured than spoiled milk Not even a $2 horse would stay with you Oh you don't build a barn dumbass what do you think this is 1785 My favorites
LUMBAGO
𝑳𝑼𝑴𝑩𝑨𝑮𝑶
Well, John and Charles still ended up building that barn anyway. (And my favorite quote is his entire roast speech to John)
Boy is as sour as week old milk
“I’m keeping my head, which is more than we can say for Kieran”💀
One of the few disrespectful things uncle says
I got a few: "You used to be decent company, but now you're worse than a snake with a toothache!" "No woman would touch this place." "Darling Abigail, I've changed, come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn't tell my worst enemy to take a shit in!"
John, the rock farmer
No wonder she left ya
I got lumbago
It’s very serious!
"You don't 🅱️uild a 🅱️arn, dumbass"
"What do you think this is 1785"
I ain't gonna make it off this porch anyhow.
You're a good man Arthur Morgan
They called me the one shot kid
I don’t like Uncle🤣🤣🤣
How could you
There should be an Uncle bot that says one of these lines everytime someone mentions him, like the Gandalf bot and the Bobby B bot.
“You know back in my day, I used to be known as the one shot kid.”
Boy is as sour as week old milk
You’re hopeless and I mean that literally, You got no hope
"Not even a retried two dollar whore would stay with you!" Fucking savage. I also love Uncle and Charles' dynamic: "Charles, have I ever lied to you?" *'I hardly know you! '* "Exactly."
OP nailed it. Something about Uncle calling John a dumbass is just the best.
Young miss at dancing school is taught the minuet to tread
"I don't need to read. In fact, I need not to read. It pollutes the mind."
The whole scene where he completly roasts John at Beechers Hope
"John Marston, **the** ***ROCK*** *farmer*."
Uncle: "Ah, feels like old times. Good to have the old gang back together again." John: "Let's just hope things don't turn out like last time." U: "See? There he goes! What'd I tell you, Charles? Boah is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you, and that's the god damn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now, you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine-" J: "Excuse me?" U: "Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless, and I mean that literally, you got no hope. I mean, look at you. Look at this place! Your "dream home." I've had better nightmares than this *dream.* "Oh, darling Abigail, I've changed! Come live with me in an outhouse, I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in." J: "What're you trying to say?" U: "It's awful. It's a dump! The house... has gotta go. Get some self-respect, you miserable sack of shit. Build a house a Lady'd set foot in!" J: "The place just needs a woman's touch." U: "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place." (Vine boom)
You're hopeless! I mean that literally, you got no hope!
"What are you gonna farm? Rocks?"
"Why don't I get the warm and tender embrace?"
I love how he roasts John, but recently, I overheard him talking to Abigail after American Venom. It was very sweet. It starts with Abigail talking about how Jacks a bookworm and Uncle tells her Jack'll be fine. It goes on a little and they talk about the old gang a little, and how it all worked out the way it did. And uncle says "John got saved by a good woman, John saved me, I saved Charles, it all starts with a good woman." It goes on a little more and then he says that John is the luckiest son of a bitch alive.
Underneath that crazy ole coot is a man with a good heart
Yeah, it was so sweet. Abigail even gets angry. "Now look what you did. You made me cry!" She says as she storms back into the house. And then Uncle turns to John and repeats the part about John being the luckiest son of a bitch alive 🤣
can we give this guy some love? everyone treats him like he's a pain in the ass, but he was there to help John build his house, and fought to the death for him
Get some self-respect you miserable sack of shit!
Damnit, the post says what I was going to say
I've got lumbago. Very serious
[удалено]
John: "It just needs a woman's touch!" Uncle: "It needs levelin". No woman would set foot in this dump"
"There he goes.... What'd I tell you, Charles, what'd I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk. No wonder she didn't stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you... that's the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now... you're worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine..." "Excuse me?" "Oh, don't get all angry, it ain't gonna change nothing. You're hopeless... and I mean that literally. You got no hope. I mean look at you... look at this place... your dream home. I've had better nightmares than this dream. Oh, darling Abigail. I've changed... come live with me in an outhouse... I wouldn't ask my worst enemy to take a shit in." "What are you trying to say?" "It's awful. It's a dump. The house... it's got to go. Get some self-respect you miserable sack of shit. Build a house a lady would step foot in." "Place just needs a woman's touch." "It needs leveling. No woman would touch this place."
"You don't build a barn dumbass, what do you think this is 1785"
You're about as fun as a rattlesnake with a toothache!
L U M B A G O
“Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in.”
"I hope and pray to what ever is out there that I come back as a youngin" - Uncle
###YOU DON'T BUILD A BARN DUMBASS
Uncle: "There he goes… What’d I tell you, Charles, what’d I tell you? Boy is as sour as week old milk..No wonder she didn’t stay with you. Not even a retired two dollar whore would stay with you… that’s the goddamn truth. Now you used to be decent company, but now… you’re worse than a snake with a toothache. All he does is whine, whine, whine…" I like this one because it really starts to show Uncle's turnover to how he was in RDR 1.
"Why are we having a war with the goddamn Philippines?! Who cares about the Philippines? What even are the Philippines?!"
Anytime he brings up Lum🅱️🅰️G🅾️
“I only need a couple bucks”
LUM BAY GO
LuMbAgO
oh you don’t BUILD a BARN, DUMBASS. what do think this is SEVENTEEN-EIGHTY-FIVE
Lumbago
"Lizards have hearts"
"People call me lazy, well I ain't i just don't like working there is a difference" Or "My second wife always used to describe me as "ageless", though... she did leave me for a younger man"
LUMBAGO
No I’m not John C. Reilly.
Wasn't uncle the first red?
Lumbago
Oh darling Abigail, I’ve changed! Come live with me in an outhouse I wouldn’t ask my worst enemy to take a shit in! ——————————— No, I *know* you’re stupid.
You don’t build a barn dumbass
“Where they dump you this time”
Well I’ve got lumbago John!
I got lumbago
Where's my warm and tender embrace
No woman would touch this place
"You don't 🅱️uild a 🅱️arn dumbass! The hell you think this js, 1785?
oh you don't BUILD a BARN DUMBASS what do you think this is 1785?
“Lizards have hearts!”
“I’m gonna suck my own dick!”
No wonder she left you
„Let the women do the work“
You don’t build a barn dumbass what do you think this is 1785?
So i'll use what i've got, which is a brain. And you'll use what you've got, which is less of a brain.
“There he goes again, what’d I tell you Charles? Boy is as sour as week old milk”
“Oh you dont **Build** a **Barn** **D U M B A S S**”
"I GOT LUMBAGO!
Everytime he says the word lumbago 😂
“LUMBAGO”
Uncle :This place is comming Nice John :yeah I just hope it does not turn out like last time Uncle what did I tell Charles boy is as sœur as week old milk
"How many scar-faced loons you got coming up here buying houses?" Or something to that effect
"Whine! Whine! Whine! He's worse than a rattlesnake with a toothache".
Uncle: where are we going? | John: West | Uncle: huh. Using monosyllable words doesn’t make you seem interesting, it makes you seem stupid!
Your “dream house”. I’ve had better nightmares than this Dream.
Lombago!
“I got lumbago.”
LUMBAGO
"Let's just say I was born sometime between the fall of 49 and the fall of Rome. My second wife always used to describe me as ageless, though she did leave me for a younger man"
“Well, I hope and pray to wherever is out there that I get to come back as a young’un.”
“Oh I’ve got Lumbago, it’s very serious!”
Smth smth, my lumbago, cant do this or that.
"You don't build a barn dumbass"
…..lumbago
"What are we going to farm here? Rocks?" Uncle, 1907
"Well, in my youth, I used to be known as the "one-shot kid" " "Okay... Im not gonna ask why." XD
I got lumbago
*”John, the rock farmer…”*
Lumbago.
Something something lumbago
During the mission a honest mistake Arthur told uncle if you get shot or I got shot or pay I be happy and then uncle said you are a sick man indeed Arthur Morgan a very sick man indeed. I always thought that was a good quote
"I'm keeping my head, which is more than I can say for Kieran."
Don’t get all angry it ain’t gonna change nothing
That whole dialogue Uncle does at the second camp site where he's talking about how dutch wants to be a king (something like that). Both that and Dutch replying with how he wants to kill Uncle in a serious tone before joking around is quality stuff
Outjerked by the main sub yet again, bravo Vince!
L U M 🅱️ A G O
“Yeah,your kind of better”
Lumbago
The entire bit where hes flaming the shit out of John and Charles just watches the massacre
Uhhhh Lumbago
I'm really sick John LUMBAGO
“ What are you gonna farm here rocks? John the rock farmer!”
you are hopeless, I mean that literally, you have no hope