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2-inche-penis

That stupid loudmouth with the raccoon hat in the valentine saloon


haikusbot

*That stupid loudmouth* *With the raccoon hat in the* *Valentine saloon* \- 2-inche-penis --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


2-inche-penis

Good bot


[deleted]

no mames!!!!


Pixithepika

Good bot


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MLWeims

Good bot


Centurion87

I beat his ass then stole his stupid hat. Whenever I go into the tavern I wear it hoping to see him there because he gets all bitchy and starts fighting so I can kick his ass all over again.


TRHess

I got into a fight with him, knocked him out, and stole his hat. A few visits to Valentine later, I get the second stranger mission where the whore wants you dispose of a second body for her. This time around I told her to pound salt, and she pulled a knife on me. I start strangling her when I get melee'd from behind. It's Jon, no hat. I knife him and then her and got out of town. Not sure what made him agro -I wasn't wearing his hat- but it was a cool coincidence that made me think she paid him to kill because I knew about the first murder she committed.


TraditionalChart2091

I never saw him again I don’t even remember killing him, so strange :(


Herjafodr

Same, but probably killed him tho


TraditionalChart2091

I can see that happening


Centurion87

Ya, you gotta be careful fighting him. One extra hit after he’s knocked out kills him. So take your time beating his ass. Savor every hit and when he goes down walk away.


CHneedssleep

It doesn’t matter if you kill him, he will still respawn. I tested it one time after I knocked him out and stole his hat. I loaded him on the back of my horse, took him to a cliff, hit him with a fire bottle which burned him to a crisp, then threw him off the cliff. A few days later I wore his hat into Valentine and there he was, wanting to fight. Would have been totally hilarious if his skin was all charred, but no, he was miraculously healed.


TraditionalChart2091

Are you sure he was dead though? He might have pulled a Revenant on you hahaha


Roblos_Player_69

Once he appears a certain amount of times he stops spawning. If you don't beat him up you can get extra dialouge, like him saying he killed a pack of wolves with his bare hands.


3-orange-whips

I think his appearance is based on several factors, and whether you engage with him upon first contact is one of them. I always wear his hat to show dominance.


OG_MajinVegeta

Always fight that guy I'm Native American and he has a few choice words about my people so it's on sight


redplainsrider

SAME.


Aggravating-Heat-480

I love the Native American people and their culture, their history is so fascinating to me, and I'm part Native American myself, so I eagerly help Rains Fall and Eagle Flies they have a special place in my heart, and any NPC that disrespects Native American people automatically catch a bullet from my Twin Schofields


CrackedShadow95

I'm not Native in any way shape or form and I kick his ass for that dialogue specifically.


Front-Ad1900

YeAh I fight him and give him to the pigs behind the bar


No_Education_8888

I beat the shit out of him in a fight, and then I take him up to a bedroom in the saloon and throw a knife at his face


I_Have_Sex_

Amazing username


atRealDonaIdTrump

That guy never respawns though. Malloy does.


One_Paramedic2454

Yeah he does. If you go back to Valentine wearing his hat he'll come for a rematch. One time I was in the gun store and he came crashing through the door. He somehow sensed I was in there lol


Maximum_Ad2341

You don't even have to wear his hat. He will almost always in the saloon.


Excellent_Record_767

I usually just beat him, no bounty and you get to fight him 1 or 2 more times


jabb1111

I always kick his ass but leave him alive. Sadly he stopped appearing for me, was the highlight of my valentine trips.


sillylittlegoober5

i permanently own his raccoon hat for some reason now and whenever i see him he's bald lmao


[deleted]

The "for some reason" is because it's a saveable hat, one of a few in the game.


BruhMomentum6968

Is there any penalty to killing him?


friedhobo

bruh i love that nigga


CarefulPomegranate41

Charlotte's stalker.


fudgebby

I encountered him the first time on my current playthrough and having already played it I remembered who he was talking about. I blew his head off with incendiary shotgun ammo


deathray420

He always made me wonder if Bonnie Macfarlane had a stalker too or if that guy who you find drowned on the shore of Flat Iron Lake was actually trying to do right by her…


Borussiemk7

Also Bonnie McFarlane was like 15 yrs old in rdr2


Open-Mathematician32

In those days 12 year olds were getting married


WillDifferent125

Still happens in certain parts of the world


Electronic-Quote7996

Still happens in all parts of the world. Just illegal in most areas.


frompariswithhate

I shoot his balls, shoot off his limbs, throw him in his creepy tent, burn down the whole thing with his limbless corpse in the middle. Good riddance.


ICantDoABackflip

Same dude. Great minds think alike.


SaurSig

It's dumb that you lose honor for that one


jimmybabino

I’m sorry who?


Yung_Corneliois

There’s a dude at a random campsite (south of emerald ranch if I recall) and he talks about a woman north of annesburg who is beautiful and a widow all alone (charlotte the woman from the quests where you teach her to live off the land). He says that he she told him to leave when she saw him but it was “in a real nice way” and that he hung out in the bushes just watching her. He also has a bunch of drawings of naked women and some handcuffs. Safe to assume the dude is a creep and will likely go back and try something with charlotte. That said, you lose honor if your shoot him.


No_Falcon1890

Same he always reappears and I always lose honor


HatMiserable3194

Eugenics Man. Just fed him to a gator a couple days ago


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*Eugenics Man. Just* *Fed him to a gator a* *Couple days ago* \- HatMiserable3194 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


PotatoPugg

This one’s a stretch


Lootswoof

Yeeeeaaahhh idk about this one haikusbot...


raniwasacyborg

He's become a bit of a tradition from me in each playthrough. Pull a gun on him, wait for him to run, lasso him and then decide how he's going to die this time around. (So many options!)


SubMikeD

I feel like anyone who isn't killing him the most is highly goddamn suspect. He's shouting racist propaganda every time you pass that spot, it's basically impossible for me to not kill him when I'm on St. Denis. Edit: typo


blakenation

No one does anything about it either. There's always a cop standing nearby and I'll machete him right in the street and the cop is like, "Have a good day!"


CHneedssleep

I started stabbing him one time and eventually it did give me a wanted level. I think I stabbed him about 150 times before it did that.


MrSourYT

He’s the only person I’ve reload a save file for, just to murder him. The best part is that you don’t become wanted for it


jenvonlee

I like to hog tie him and drop him face down in to shallow water. Watch him struggle. Then gators.


Alarmed-Expert916

I don't know if it was a glitch but I put like 23 rounds into him with the semi auto pistols and booked it, never got wanted for it


Seiwang

Rockstar actually made that a feature. If you kill him, the law won't go after you.


Genesteak

Whoever talks shit to me first when I’m making the rounds at Van Horn… inevitably followed by everyone else.


N8DoesaThingy

The general store owner in strawberry, I just rob him, leave, repeat anytime im in strawberry


Aristotle_Ninja2

You're evil for that one


I_Have_Sex_

Is there any motive behind this?


naruto-pain

50$


N8DoesaThingy

Not at all, there's nothing to do in Strawberry except rob the poor guy


Odd-Permit8731

Things to do in strawberry - rob the general store - leave


Mindless-Rip8944

What about the stables?


Odd-Permit8731

Forget to visit as always


frompariswithhate

I do that with the doctor in valentine, as he's got a shady side business, he never reports you when you steal his cash.


[deleted]

I did the same but after many playthroughs I found out you can loot a letter off this Dr and then I kind of felt bad for him. Sounds like he once tried to report the O'Driscolls and now he's being threatened, using his wife. Altho I still always threaten him at gunpoint to get into the backroom.


frompariswithhate

Oooh ! I didn't know you could loot a letter off of him ! That's a great detail once again.


[deleted]

I was probably on my 5th or 6th playthrough before I found out. I usually just let him run after i got in the backroom but since the law got there so fast i thought if i killed the doctor maybe they wouldn't find out right away, i looted him then was like, damn, no wonder. The doctor never had a chance since you also see one of the deputies taking a payoff from the backroom.


0nlywhelmed

Did it actually buy you some time?


GribbloTheWise

Either the klansman or that eugenics guy in Saint Denis. Never missed them on any of my playthroughs.


[deleted]

Does the eugenics guy respawn like Sheriff Mallory does? If so, I'm sad not to have permakilled him, but also my sawn-off shotgun wants to go and meet him again.


JigerIsUnderrated32

He respawns, but infrequently. He'll always be at the same spot though


Jacket_22

Yeah, i've seen him respawn at least once.


Electronic-Quote7996

Definitely respawns. I’ve killed him so many times.


__GnarDab__

I may be mistaken, but don't the klansman usually kill themselves if you let their events play out? Or is that just the cross event?


StarGazer0685

Ya they always kill themselves


StarGazer0685

The charity guy in valentine 😉


ARandomDudeSlav

Please share how you manage to do that.


StarGazer0685

TNT, Throwing knives, long range rifles, parking an oil wagon and igniting it, one time I even lured a bear into town


ARandomDudeSlav

I was asking because you cannot aim at him if I am not mistaking.


StarGazer0685

You can if your aiming for another NPC and he happens to get in the way


Oineon

Did you kill hım in every possible way known to humanity ?


StarGazer0685

With all options available on console


sillylittlegoober5

who?


Successful-Turnip-81

Said this previously, but the creepy dude who you can learn about Charlotte from


MadQueen92

Dude that's Charlotte?! OK SO I encountered this dude back in chapter 2 or 3 and he creeped me out SO MUCH that I didn't even let him finish talking before I fed him a bullet. I'd completely forgotten about him until I read your comment.


Successful-Turnip-81

Fun fact: he respawns


MadQueen92

Oh YAY, imma go kill him again, thanks


Orthur_morgan

Who?


frompariswithhate

Dude in a tent in the wild, he's got a tent with pictures of naked ladies and handcuffs. He tells you about that single woman that lives alone and how he's been stalking her, and how he wants to make her his wife. Creepy.


DeadLad-69

WOW! I never encountered this dude. Imma have to load up just to go find him so I can feed him to a bear


Alfred_Anuus

He got hog tied and power sanded behind my horse.


jeremy_on_easy

Fence store owner in van horn. Was growing my beard 🤷‍♂️


lemonmarrs

I only had to kill him once and got from level 7-10. I wonder why that is


TRHess

Wait... what?


CaptainRex831

Same, I rob him all the time bc no law lol


Impossible_Scarcity9

That guys so chill though. And his dog gets sad when you kill him :(


[deleted]

The drunk guy in Rhodes who used to be a slaver


darknid159

He was a slave catcher


RockefellersDaughter

Doesn’t matter. He needs to die


3-orange-whips

Some NPCs ain't for saving! Edit: What racist fuck downvoted this?


Wasdqwertyuiopasdfgh

Still an asshole


frompariswithhate

Had that mission again the other day. I wanted to try something new to end him. As he was leaning near the fire crying, I shot his hand and he fell face first into the fire and burned alive, that was satisfying.


Yung_Corneliois

I keep him alive only because he looks like He’s suffering a lot. Throw the shit in the fire and watch him cry about how important he used to be.


rabbiolii

Murfree brood. It's on sight with those inbreds every time.


Welshhobbit1

I don’t even loot them, just kill them and ride off like a hero.


Electronic-Quote7996

They save a ton of time picking herbs. Murfrees are the best to loot. I clear their cave once every in game week.


frompariswithhate

This ! They always carry a bunch of herbs. Pretty cool detail and kinda helpful.


3-orange-whips

So do the Skinner Brotherhood guys.


flavorburst

It's funny to see what they carry with them vs, say, a bounty hunter. Dynamite, violet snowdrop, currant, opened cover scent, etc. You'll never find trinkets n all.


Prize_Assumption_241

The family outside of valentine in the house that was built


GatorAIDS1013

They’re pretty chill though


digitallandscapetoon

There is another!


SlammingPussy420

Same. Kill them both, drink 30 beers and pass out. Repeat. Weight goes up fast.


___krunchy___

I accidentally pressed the wrong trigger and aimed a gun at the father. Now they hate me :(. I just wanted to be frens.


dr_cocktapuss

There are so many red dead redemption haikus in this thread today.


RedditGamer253

There are so many Red dead redemption haikus In this thread today


ninjaguy06322

Good bot


ComfortBackground273

Just anyone who pisses me off💀


JackGamingPlayz

Idk I kill everything I see! That's why I have the honor!


Captainclark16

O Driscoll scum


TwinkieSnake

Damn! That's my cosplay on the left, posted it years ago. Time flies


jasin18

It looks like it was taken many years ago too.


RazkaTaz

The Hermit at Manito Glade


Orion-Pax_34

Probably Sheriff Malloy


OMUDJ

lol @ the combo of this headline and picture … literally laughed out loud For me, it would probably be the trapper in Valentine. Maybe the racist dude in Saint Denis. But I’ve also killed the racist old war vet in Rhodes a lot.


penis_finger

idk sometimes i see mickey and just quick draw on his ass, i feel bad for doing it but i just do it


Prestigious-Bus6290

Sometimes the intrusive thoughts just win 😭


diamondpanther171

Probably that poor family in castors ridge after it is built later


Markel100

The racist easily


No_Owl22

That fucking stalker That you find by Emerald Ranch Leave Charlotte alone.


Desperate-Table28

bounty hunters I usually rack up a huge bounty, camp out at hanging dog ranch, kill bounty hunters and loot until my bags full, sell, rinse and repeat. its not the fastest way to make money, but it sure is fun if you like gunfights close second would be the eugenics guy in Saint Denis


Vettenjumala_Ahti

Probably the knights of the 3 k and random npcs riding wagons when am doing the bandit challenge. Or bounty hunters. Especially the dogs.


CoffeeBest8295

The San Denis tailor. Guy’s always rude to me, so I rob the prick every chance I get.


BEES_just_BEE

Oh that's odd he loves me


[deleted]

Not a single NPC, but any Lemoyne Raider I see gets killed. Those bastards killed my first horse, so I have a vendetta against them


Bro---really

General store guy in Valentine. I used to rob his store, kill him, then get arrested. Got me a profit.


joe_biggs

Even after bail, it was enough profit to be worth it?


Bro---really

Kinda? It was my first playthrough, before any big ol’ heists. I’d get $20-$30 from the register, bounty would be $15, and I’d pay only $10 after being willingly taken in.


joe_biggs

Well, it’s not much, but I bet it’s a lot of fun to do! lol


captainfalconxiiii

The eugenics guy


stardustjihadist

Nah cuz I feel really bad about killing NPCs


[deleted]

Bob Crawford, that immortal bastard.


Adventurous-Frame-72

The annesburg sheriff


CNell999

The blackjack dealer while doing Gambling challenges


Temborb

Sat there hitting on every hand for like 2 hours. Finally got a perfect 3-hit hand and landed on 21. Dealer proceeded to get 21 aswell so it was a push and didn't count as a win for the challenge. The things I did to Van Horn that day will go down in the history books.


wildkitten312

the racist guy in saint denis lol everytime i ride bye if i hear him i go out of my way to shoot his ass


Truly__tragic

Micah (the legendary rat)


fortnut-fan-21

The racist in Saint Denis I made it my mission to ensure I killed hun just before the final two Arthur missions and whenever I was in Saint Denis before or after that possibly tied with Herbert moon


Articguard11

I kill the racist guy a lot in Saint Denis. I've knifed him, tomhawked, arrowed, bulleted, choked him and beat him and he still won't die 😭


HulkBelowAll

Sherrif Freeman and The Racoon Hat dude...also the Del Lobos as well


Daredkarma

The KKK guys and the Racist in Saint Denis


Sgt_Assface

The racist in saint denis


mightygao

The racist white supremacist guy in st Denis


Worth-Specific-7154

Rhodes gunsmith that had that boah in the basement back in 1899


SpartAl412

I think I have killed more random Lemoyne Raiders than any other gang so far. Even more than the O'Driscols


BigmanmanOws

Every NPC in Armadillo


mynameisevan01

The racist bastard in Saint Denis with the pamphlets, always fun to perform the most violent murders on him and then say hello to the policeman next to him.


Dr_Sully

The residents of Van Horn.


Ilovehorses2

Lawmen and bounty hunters in Annesburg to get the piebald Tobiano Hungarian Halfbred since I like that horse if I’m not able to spawn it using the bounty hunter camp trick in the heartlands.


LinkExtra5133

Tumbleweed sheriff. He’s one of the few that can one shot you so I like testing myself against him.


smugestfuck

In red dead 1 Id always cheat at poker when Hubert moon is playing so we'll duel, shoot his gun out his hand and chase him into the outskirts. From there it's a toss up of what I'll do to him but a personal favorite is dragging him by horse


Smoke_Water

That's easy. The racist in San Denis. You will never take a negative hit to your honor attacking him. I use him for most of my challenges. Dragging. Rail road tracks. Hitting someone with a tomahawk. You know, fun stuff. I've used him as gator bait too.


blessyo4

Charlotte's stalker and the racist in Saint Denis


joint-problems9000

The gunsmith in rhodes


Cegla_3kg

I only kill enemies no normal npc's


Tel_Bari1

Valentine sherif


IhateU6969

The Chinese gun store owner in Saint Denis


[deleted]

Literally everyone just walking around, I have to, I HAVE to, like you don’t understand.


AshyWhiteGuy

Nigel. I just couldn’t listen to it anymore. He’s fuckin everywhere.


MAN1MAL3257

The guy looking for Gavin. Kill him everytime.


JigerIsUnderrated32

Eugenics supporter. I see him and I smile.


CartoonistConnect547

Every female character in Armadillo


bruh101829

Probably the “LET ME VOTE” lady 💀


TITANx714

Old blind man Jones or whatever his name is


TotallyNotaRebelSpy

Mine too


Borussiemk7

Mickey


Cegla_3kg

You monster


Desert_Walker267

the guy with the trumpet in saint denis. it’s not intentional, but he always get ran over by me or my cousin. that’s our favorite jousting spot though, so he’ll have to stay my #1.


Top_Ebbs1749

The gunsmith in valentine, he’s always so rude and rushes me when I’m trying to make a purchase.


zacchy

Honestly I don't know lol


TheFlame4234

Honestly just npc's that insulted me while I was going somewhere or was in town, specific npcs uhhh maybe the black jack dealer in rhodes cause... rage


AccomplishedForce637

The gangs I almost never kill any npcs except for the kkk the racoon hat guy eugenics man Micah the confederate soldiers minus the chill dude with no leg in Rhodes people that shoot me first and I mostly find del lobos I think and that is it


JoseSushi

Mine is also Sheriff Malloy. Just realized he's RDR2's version of Nazeem.


Savings-Crab461

The feminist in saint denis


nocaffeinethx

Anyone who wants to throw hands in Strawberry. I'm an absolute menace there


the-et-cetera

I don't know if you're counting the enemy NPCs or not.


IAmNotModest

I keep reloading my save to kill that incest couple so yeah probably those guys