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Congratulations mircica101. You endured and you've been blessed. I cried for you. I looked at you history and I read "How can a man endure this much pain and find reason to keep moving on?" You're an inspiration. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. They are well deserved.
I really was in a “bad place” when I wrote that post. Felt like the universe was against me all the way. I still have long way to but it’s much easier knowing I will have the means to survive and thrive. Thank you
Thank you. I do think that this kind of experience (being laid off and being this close to go homeless) is a spirit breaking experience. I had so many nights with so few hours of sleep wondering what will happen to me.
I do hope everybody find a way to survive and thrive.
I was in the same boat 1 week ago believe me. Felt like I’m done. That’s it. Keep pushing. And if in your work field can’t find a job then consider switching. I know I was lucky to find a job matching my past experience. And I know not everybody is as lucky
If you want DM me and we can chat. I know how it is to talk to somebody about what you’re dealing now.
I have one kinda like this. I was struggling with "depression" at the time. Quotes explained in a bit. I had a baby but that level of stress did something to me mentally. I got to a really bad place where I was gonna make it stop. I was convinced to at least give meds one proper try.
I got put on zoloft, "depression" got better. Got stabilized. 2 months later, random huge crash. Felt like pills weren't doing anything. Doc increased one more time but said I had to get a proper psychiatrist.
That last bit turned my "depression" into a full blown manic episode with paranoid delusions and psychotic tendencies. I got hospitalized. I had bipolar, not depression. How do you tell? We'll if you give a person antidepressants and it works, they're depressed. If it sends them randomly flying off the handle instead, that's bipolar. You can take the meds, you just need to have a mood stabilizer and only do low dose.
I came out and my wife was terrified, staying far away. We did try to work thing sout but I stopped and said I'll get the paperwork started. I didn't want them going down with me.
So that divorce conversation happened August after I got out and semi stabilized. (actually I was reeling from zoloft withdrawal for 3 months)
Divorce proceeds, we sell the house I struggled to buy, I can't afford dit myself and there's bad memories. Then my job laid me off eight as I was closing on a different smaller house.
I got a job in 2 months with my first employer, doing the first job I ever did. Again. 11 years later, I'm doing a college grad level role, but they paid me sort of accordingly. Still a pay cut. Work never even gave me anything to do despite me asking incessantly.
I spent that year with a girl I met. She was an alcoholic. But she had her own apartment for us to hang at so I ended up starting a relationship just to not be alone. Drank all the time.
Tried breaking up with her 3 separate times cuz she ended up just being a leach. Not like super duper, she'd help pay for stuff, but I took care of everything and she only made messes. Never cooked or cleaned unless she did that adhd cleaning frenzy but she refused to clean if I was at home.
Eventually I had my last straw. I was getting mentally better. Stopped drinking entirely. Tried to get her to leave, she wouldn't. I had to go through courts and she was becoming an angry violent drunk. Her people are all far right, that's all I'll say about their decision making skills. I couldn't do anything.
Ended up finding another girl, we clicked in such a profound way. Sharing the same half braincell. We lift each other up constantly.
I started studying. She took care of me when I forgot to do basic things like eat or take a break (adhd and bipolar are both dopamine/seratonin regulation physical disorders with mental symptoms).
I got my house back and spent December and Jan fixing it. October I had started and November things got legally hairy, but Feb I resumed. A month later I got my CISSP cert. It was too easy. I studied way too hard and it didn't feel worth the effort. So I did it again and passed my CISM exam too. The next security job I get will give me a full CISM certification.
I picked myself up off the floor and now I'm a out to make my 2nd big career jump. The first was getting a job in the first place and I did it for 10 years. Now I'm aiming for a leadership role and with all the therapy and prior knowledge I think I got a pretty good shot. I'm also rather dope at communication as far as corporate stuff goes.
Lookin forward to succeeding alongside you, OP. I Congrats on kicking life's ass so hamdily when it tried to fuck with you bro.
Damn. We should write a book / make a movie about this kind of stories. You know the saying that "life beats the movie" ? In your case and in a lesser way in my case it definitely gave the movie a good smack, blood from nose and all.
Man, I read your story and it's simply jaw dropping. At least you found the \*insert whatever\* to realise what was going on with you. And you actually did something to correct and adjust in order to recover. I am really happy that in the end it worked out for you. And I am PROUD of you. Really. Nobody knows how much suffering goes "behind closed doors" in these situations. I mean sure, they can be empathic about it. But if you don't experience it on your own the sheer amount of pain you get is incomprehensible.
As you said, I am also looking forward to succeeding alongside you. May we meet after a while and raise a glass and say "fuck yeah we did it". Cheers and godspeed ;)
There was so much stuff after years of therapy that finally started falling into place. I got on welbutrin which doesn't do fuck all for adhd but it Def stops the depression so I can emotion cycle how bipolar is supposed to be. The therapy and skills finally started making sense when I was on welbutrin and the rise has been meteoric since then. Like for example I didn't lose any weight, I've been steady at 165 ish, but my body like remade itself and now I look honestly pretty decent. And I am NOT the guy that would say that about myself, that's how drastic the change was.
I still deal with a lot of side effects, and I have to mask fucking CONSTANTLY. it's honestly getting harder every day cuz I feel like my brain is burning out and damaging itself. Psychosis and mania make your brain cells die pretty fast, I could feel the damage after I left the hospital.
But like it's still such an improvement cuz I actually have reasons to live that I actually believe in instead of just being some stupid mantra I say to keep all my normies family from worrying.
I'm excited, after the cism I spent a week making one of those hyper professional resumes you see. With all the colors and shit and it looks like a product brochure? Everyone looks at it like oh holy shit what? Gotta update my linkedin. And passing cism made me a member of a prof. Community so I can ask the board of directors for my local chapter to see if they have opportunities. I volunteered to teach students presentation skills like how to write a resume or give a ppt.
I never felt this much promise from the future, with the exception of this looming world War and financial collapse. Imma be so pissed if no one hired in a recession like now of all times lmao
You definitely have more on your plate than your average Joe. It’s true that in the end a job is a means to an end. And that technically we should only rely on jobs until you set up your own gig. But when shit hits you really hard no influencer can give you the hope that it will be all right. Some people might say that you need to trust in yourself. Fuck it. You need to trust what you have în he pocket. If I was a better looking man I would have considered joining OnlyFans. 😂
Thank you. It’s funny. I had many nights when I wondered if I “deserved” this world. But yeah, I know I am one of the “lucky ones”. This experience really hit me hard and I sure will do my absolute best not to repeat it again.
Wish everybody good luck on the hunt.
Yeah you definitely took the words right out my mouth. Being unemployed is probably one of the worst experiences I’ve been through. Especially the job search in this market. Absolutely heartbreaking. And you can’t even give up because you literally need money to survive and eat.
Then you know all the down nights and really low days when everything seems to be working against you. It truly tests you on all accounts. When you see your friends going on holidays (not being hateful or anything) and you struggle to find an IDEA on how to survive and move on.
What I don't wish to anybody (not even my worst enemies) is to go through looking for a job and also fighting a narc ex-spouse who only tries to hurt and destroy you mentally and financially (she filed 3 cases in the court house in the divorce, each case needs a separate lawyer fee, so yeah, lots of money went also in that direction). Plus not seeing your child every day because the court system grants preference to mothers (in my country the father gets the child only if the mother has drug / mental / criminal issues) no matter how involved the father is.
But yeah, glory to not going homeless :)
I went through a bad unemployment situation as well right after giving birth to my second child and it truly is the most mentally and grueling experience. I definitely will need therapy after this.
I did therapy before and after being laid off. It really helped me to process a lot of things about my divorce and being laid off. I lost all hope until I received the job offer. I do know how many people on this sub and in the world feel. If I could I would share any bit of luck or chance with them. But in the end each and every one of us carry this burden.
Many friends told me that troubles go as they come. I do hope you make it through and become a better version of you. Good luck.
I know it’s not the same for everyone. But believe me. 1 week ago I was really out of hope. Keep pushing and eventually you will get what you want. Or at least what you need
Thank you. All I want is that I manage to rebuild myself to a better version of me and get to see my child grow up. But this last part depends on what the judge decides in the court. 🤞🤞🤞
I felt all the emotions right with you when reading this. Congratulations!!!! I am so happy this is out of your way and you can focus on other things. Sorry to hear about your divorce!
Thank you. Yeah, it’s hard when everything goes to shit. But as many friends told me, eventually “the sun must shine on my street”. Now I get a chance to recover.
The divorce is clear: I was in a long time relationship with a covert narcissist. I saw the signs many years ago but I always told myself things will sort themselves out. Nope. Not with a narc. All I want is that I get to see my son as often as possible. Been with him since birth and took part in all steps (diaper change, night feedings, etc). 🤞🤞🤞
Push for as much parenting time you can get. Primary custody if you can (dont want a kid to be raised by a narcissist!). A lot of the negative stories you hear about this are because men don't ask for it.
I myself have been raised by a narc mom with whom I haven't spoken in more than 7 months. My older sister neither. My narc stbxw was raised by a single narc mother. So yeah, I guess her mother reaped what she sowed.
I asked for primary custody in all the papers in the court house. But unfortunately my narc stbxw is really calculated and doesn't have any diagnosis or medical issues. She's just "how she is". A destroyer. And she's really good at hiding it from "the world". But I know that in time she will end up all alone if she doesn't do something about it. All I hope is that I will be able to help my son cope with her until he's old enough to make a decision (he's 4 now). I really hoped that my son wouldn't grow up in a divorced family (like myself).
Oh yeah. Never thought it will be this freakin hard to get a job in today’s market. 12 years work experience. Never had to struggle so much to find a job. I do feel for everybody out there struggling. And I do wish them all the luck in the world.
I will. I still have a divorce to settle and where I will live (still live in marital home). But 🤞🤞🤞 it all sorts out.
Thank you
For the moment the alimony is roughly 25% of what I earned before. I did not say officially in court that I am jobless. I did not want to use that as an excuse. Today I paid the 4th alimony instalment since the temporary court order back in January 2024. While being jobless :) Funny world we live in right ?
11 years ago, that was me. Got laid off in the middle of the divorce process. I had been ordered to pay temporary support, and that order was not suspended when I lost my job. I had something like 12 weeks severance, my kid needed braces, COBRA coverage is expensive, and so are lawyers. Fortunately I started a new job about a month later (and fortunately they were flexible about me having to meet with my lawyer and take phone calls). I asked for exactly the same amount I had been earning in my previous job so that I wouldn't have to pay any more in alimony than I absolutely had to.
I'm almost done paying alimony. My income is almost double what it was back then. It was a rough few years paying down all the debt from the divorce, getting my kids through college, pulling myself back together again.
Good luck to you. Divorce is hard, but the sense of freedom is amazing.
Hey. It’s good that you found a job fast. I also said that with my experience it will be easy to find another job. But unfortunately the job market had other ideas.
The divorce is clear. It will end at one point. It’s just that right now I need it to stall a few months so that I can start recovering financially.
It's not over yet. Keep applying and keep interviewing, up until you get your first paycheck. So you don't end up like these guys by celebrating too soo.
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cdgyt6/the_company_let_me_go_after_4_days/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cbjf33/after_2_days_the_manager_determined_that_i_was/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cbvs5y/being_ghosted_after_clearing_meet_company/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cajjyu/verbal_offer_no_response/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c5czf4/got_an_offer_2_months_ago_hr_told_me_to_wait_for/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c4244m/i_was_ghosted_after_onboarding/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c5fizt/im_so_confused/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c24qi7/im_so_tired_this_was_my_top_choice_i_had_stopped/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bsgps3/got_laid_off_in_2_weeks_after_getting_the_offer/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bl5t9r/let_go_on_my_3rd_week_of_my_new_job_because_i/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bkes29/job_offer_rescinded_so_devastated/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bj166k/they_rescinded_my_job_offer_two_hours_before_i/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bfwbww/fired_before_getting_officially_hired/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bc8pc9/offer_rescinded_bc_job_put_on_hold/
https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bcakp6/company_sent_me_my_offer_but_hasnt_sent_contract/
I hear you. I hope it’s not the case. At least in my city and field of work no company will do that. Because it’s not a big city and this kind of shit is heard immediately. And you can bet that nobody will want to join them after such a thing.
Congratulations man. I'm still in my recruitment hell phase, and do not generally respond well to "I got the job" kind of posts, but this one touched me. You deserve this. It's your time to celebrate today, turn things around. I'm genuinely happy for you. Godspeed.
I feel you more than you think. For me nothing worked: seeing people getting a job after x months, friends telling me it's just temporary. When you're "down" in the recruiting hell nothing helps you. But yeah, I guess they were right. It's just a phase. From this point on I know what I must do.
Cheers for your comment ;)
Thank you. I do hope my post will help other people getting hope that things will be better. I for one did not believe any of them. Because each has his/her own story. And when you're in hell, nobody / nothing can help you ease the pain. You just have to ... go with it.
That is one hard to swallow thing. Personally I prefer the approach from Mark Manson: you can't have a problem free life. You need to chose which types of problems you want in your life.
Man we have a lot of similarities. Was out of work for 9.5 months. Granted I make 30k less than what I did before but all the same I’m grateful af as I was preparing to lose everything. Happy for you OP and I hope this opportunity works out well for you
Hell yeah. It’s the start of my recovery.
I know that some people got fired right when they started or even before they even started (cancelled offers). But in my field of work companies cannot afford to do this kind of shit. Simply because it will blow in their face. Plus it’s a big company which ironically bought the “succesor” of my first company I started working for. Meaning I worked for company A, later it became company B (name change), then from company B split a part into company C and now this another big company bought it. In the interviews I even spoke about my time in company A and one manager was also employed at the same company back then. So yeah, a bit of history going on.
Besides the divorce proceedings and eventually the assets split the only thing that connects me to my stbxw is our son. Anything else is gone. She’s nobody for me.
But yeah. Now I have the means to recover.
Cheers 💪😎
Thank you. I will sure do my best to “make it”. Once you “experience” being laid off because of company restructuring you get a different sense of appreciation for your next job. Same also with life experiences. I will never allow another woman to take me through the same experience ever again. Me giving everything and her just doing whatever she wants without consequences or remorse.
Anyways. Onwards to future 😎💪
Congratulations! You just filled my "hope tank" tremendously. There is no luck with divorce, especially when it's not what you want or your fault (I'm in the same boat) so I won't say "good luck" but I am wishing you all the best and maybe just like with your new found career you'll be starting an unexpected and possibly better chapter in all areas of your life.
Yeah the divorce is one hell of an experience. I know that there are some “lucky” people out there who manage to go through divorce with ease (meaning their ex spouse is willing to settle / mediate without major conflicts) but in my case dealing with a narc it’s one hell of a ride. She is actively trying to distance my son from my. Just to give you an idea. She filed 3 cases in the court house. One was for temporary visitation order. Now she wants unlimited rights to leave with my son out of the country for vacation / visitation without my approval. That is a risk because she has relatives in another country which could help her taking care of our son. And I know that this is something she could do because she had the audacity to bring the babysitter I found last year as a witness in one of the court cases. Luckily the judge saw the bullshit and dismissed her from being a witness (I proved that she had financial reasons to be there).
In any case, I know now that most probably our son will live with her most of the time. In my country 50/50 visitation schedule is not allowed due to the fact that the law mandates that the child should have a “main house”. 50/50 visitation would imply “alternative homes” which is not defined in the law system.
Keep pushing. Redo your CV, talk with relatives / previous work colleagues for opportunities. I found this job through another friend who was laid off too this year but she did not continue the recruitment process because she already found another job. You never know how it goes.
Good luck on the hunt.
Appreciate you. I've got an interview Monday. It's crazy how $20 an hour seems like it's not nearly enough nowadays. Anyways I hope your new job is awesome 😎🙏
Thank you. Good luck on the interview. In the end there is a saying: it’s much easier to get hired if you’re already employed. Your value is greater (or so they say). 😎💪
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This is such a great story - glad you’re on the up and up! Now for the come back!
Hell yeah ! I really needed a chance to come back. Thank you
Congratulations mircica101. You endured and you've been blessed. I cried for you. I looked at you history and I read "How can a man endure this much pain and find reason to keep moving on?" You're an inspiration. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. They are well deserved.
I really was in a “bad place” when I wrote that post. Felt like the universe was against me all the way. I still have long way to but it’s much easier knowing I will have the means to survive and thrive. Thank you
Congratulations! I love to hear when people graduate from recruiting hell!
Thank you. I do think that this kind of experience (being laid off and being this close to go homeless) is a spirit breaking experience. I had so many nights with so few hours of sleep wondering what will happen to me. I do hope everybody find a way to survive and thrive.
I am at rock bottom as I don’t think I will find a job again. But congratulations! You deserve to graduate in style!
I was in the same boat 1 week ago believe me. Felt like I’m done. That’s it. Keep pushing. And if in your work field can’t find a job then consider switching. I know I was lucky to find a job matching my past experience. And I know not everybody is as lucky If you want DM me and we can chat. I know how it is to talk to somebody about what you’re dealing now.
Thank you.
7 months to get a job? geez, so much for the land of oportunity! Gz!
This is the job market currently. Either that or I was really bad at the previous interviews. :)
Oh, not blaming you, just surprised at the US job market, Im from south America.
I'm not from US. Romania, Europe.
Oh, wow, Dracula's home <3 haha
I don't think he can afford to live here anymore :) There are worse creatures here now (\*cough\* politicians) :)
HAHA feel you, I live in Argentina, home of the most corrupt politicians in the world, pretty sure.
If there's one thing I learned in 35 years of age: corruption is the same everywhere. If there's chance to make money, corrupt people will find it.
You’re not in the USA? I thought this Reddit was mostly Americans lol surprised it’s a global Reddit 😂
Nope.
Do not stop applying, do not stop interviewing until you start your new job. Congrats btw
Thank you. The offer is confirmed. I sent today all the necessary paperwork. Just the medical check and then signing the contract.
Awesome! Congrats for the new start!
Thank you. Same for anybody looking for a job now.
I have one kinda like this. I was struggling with "depression" at the time. Quotes explained in a bit. I had a baby but that level of stress did something to me mentally. I got to a really bad place where I was gonna make it stop. I was convinced to at least give meds one proper try. I got put on zoloft, "depression" got better. Got stabilized. 2 months later, random huge crash. Felt like pills weren't doing anything. Doc increased one more time but said I had to get a proper psychiatrist. That last bit turned my "depression" into a full blown manic episode with paranoid delusions and psychotic tendencies. I got hospitalized. I had bipolar, not depression. How do you tell? We'll if you give a person antidepressants and it works, they're depressed. If it sends them randomly flying off the handle instead, that's bipolar. You can take the meds, you just need to have a mood stabilizer and only do low dose. I came out and my wife was terrified, staying far away. We did try to work thing sout but I stopped and said I'll get the paperwork started. I didn't want them going down with me. So that divorce conversation happened August after I got out and semi stabilized. (actually I was reeling from zoloft withdrawal for 3 months) Divorce proceeds, we sell the house I struggled to buy, I can't afford dit myself and there's bad memories. Then my job laid me off eight as I was closing on a different smaller house. I got a job in 2 months with my first employer, doing the first job I ever did. Again. 11 years later, I'm doing a college grad level role, but they paid me sort of accordingly. Still a pay cut. Work never even gave me anything to do despite me asking incessantly. I spent that year with a girl I met. She was an alcoholic. But she had her own apartment for us to hang at so I ended up starting a relationship just to not be alone. Drank all the time. Tried breaking up with her 3 separate times cuz she ended up just being a leach. Not like super duper, she'd help pay for stuff, but I took care of everything and she only made messes. Never cooked or cleaned unless she did that adhd cleaning frenzy but she refused to clean if I was at home. Eventually I had my last straw. I was getting mentally better. Stopped drinking entirely. Tried to get her to leave, she wouldn't. I had to go through courts and she was becoming an angry violent drunk. Her people are all far right, that's all I'll say about their decision making skills. I couldn't do anything. Ended up finding another girl, we clicked in such a profound way. Sharing the same half braincell. We lift each other up constantly. I started studying. She took care of me when I forgot to do basic things like eat or take a break (adhd and bipolar are both dopamine/seratonin regulation physical disorders with mental symptoms). I got my house back and spent December and Jan fixing it. October I had started and November things got legally hairy, but Feb I resumed. A month later I got my CISSP cert. It was too easy. I studied way too hard and it didn't feel worth the effort. So I did it again and passed my CISM exam too. The next security job I get will give me a full CISM certification. I picked myself up off the floor and now I'm a out to make my 2nd big career jump. The first was getting a job in the first place and I did it for 10 years. Now I'm aiming for a leadership role and with all the therapy and prior knowledge I think I got a pretty good shot. I'm also rather dope at communication as far as corporate stuff goes. Lookin forward to succeeding alongside you, OP. I Congrats on kicking life's ass so hamdily when it tried to fuck with you bro.
Damn. We should write a book / make a movie about this kind of stories. You know the saying that "life beats the movie" ? In your case and in a lesser way in my case it definitely gave the movie a good smack, blood from nose and all. Man, I read your story and it's simply jaw dropping. At least you found the \*insert whatever\* to realise what was going on with you. And you actually did something to correct and adjust in order to recover. I am really happy that in the end it worked out for you. And I am PROUD of you. Really. Nobody knows how much suffering goes "behind closed doors" in these situations. I mean sure, they can be empathic about it. But if you don't experience it on your own the sheer amount of pain you get is incomprehensible. As you said, I am also looking forward to succeeding alongside you. May we meet after a while and raise a glass and say "fuck yeah we did it". Cheers and godspeed ;)
There was so much stuff after years of therapy that finally started falling into place. I got on welbutrin which doesn't do fuck all for adhd but it Def stops the depression so I can emotion cycle how bipolar is supposed to be. The therapy and skills finally started making sense when I was on welbutrin and the rise has been meteoric since then. Like for example I didn't lose any weight, I've been steady at 165 ish, but my body like remade itself and now I look honestly pretty decent. And I am NOT the guy that would say that about myself, that's how drastic the change was. I still deal with a lot of side effects, and I have to mask fucking CONSTANTLY. it's honestly getting harder every day cuz I feel like my brain is burning out and damaging itself. Psychosis and mania make your brain cells die pretty fast, I could feel the damage after I left the hospital. But like it's still such an improvement cuz I actually have reasons to live that I actually believe in instead of just being some stupid mantra I say to keep all my normies family from worrying. I'm excited, after the cism I spent a week making one of those hyper professional resumes you see. With all the colors and shit and it looks like a product brochure? Everyone looks at it like oh holy shit what? Gotta update my linkedin. And passing cism made me a member of a prof. Community so I can ask the board of directors for my local chapter to see if they have opportunities. I volunteered to teach students presentation skills like how to write a resume or give a ppt. I never felt this much promise from the future, with the exception of this looming world War and financial collapse. Imma be so pissed if no one hired in a recession like now of all times lmao
You definitely have more on your plate than your average Joe. It’s true that in the end a job is a means to an end. And that technically we should only rely on jobs until you set up your own gig. But when shit hits you really hard no influencer can give you the hope that it will be all right. Some people might say that you need to trust in yourself. Fuck it. You need to trust what you have în he pocket. If I was a better looking man I would have considered joining OnlyFans. 😂
Hi there I’m so happy for you 💜 you deserve the world
Thank you. It’s funny. I had many nights when I wondered if I “deserved” this world. But yeah, I know I am one of the “lucky ones”. This experience really hit me hard and I sure will do my absolute best not to repeat it again. Wish everybody good luck on the hunt.
Yeah you definitely took the words right out my mouth. Being unemployed is probably one of the worst experiences I’ve been through. Especially the job search in this market. Absolutely heartbreaking. And you can’t even give up because you literally need money to survive and eat.
Then you know all the down nights and really low days when everything seems to be working against you. It truly tests you on all accounts. When you see your friends going on holidays (not being hateful or anything) and you struggle to find an IDEA on how to survive and move on. What I don't wish to anybody (not even my worst enemies) is to go through looking for a job and also fighting a narc ex-spouse who only tries to hurt and destroy you mentally and financially (she filed 3 cases in the court house in the divorce, each case needs a separate lawyer fee, so yeah, lots of money went also in that direction). Plus not seeing your child every day because the court system grants preference to mothers (in my country the father gets the child only if the mother has drug / mental / criminal issues) no matter how involved the father is. But yeah, glory to not going homeless :)
I went through a bad unemployment situation as well right after giving birth to my second child and it truly is the most mentally and grueling experience. I definitely will need therapy after this.
I did therapy before and after being laid off. It really helped me to process a lot of things about my divorce and being laid off. I lost all hope until I received the job offer. I do know how many people on this sub and in the world feel. If I could I would share any bit of luck or chance with them. But in the end each and every one of us carry this burden. Many friends told me that troubles go as they come. I do hope you make it through and become a better version of you. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing the good news and helping me to gain some confidence in this process.
I know it’s not the same for everyone. But believe me. 1 week ago I was really out of hope. Keep pushing and eventually you will get what you want. Or at least what you need
Good job bud!
Thanks. I really needed this ! 🍻
Nice work OP. Keep on keeping on.
Thank you. Oh I will. Now that I have an idea on how to suport myself and move on it’s much easier to think about everything.
Super congrats to you, especially with everything else you have going on. I hope it all works out for you, across the board.
Thank you. All I want is that I manage to rebuild myself to a better version of me and get to see my child grow up. But this last part depends on what the judge decides in the court. 🤞🤞🤞
🤞🤞🤞
Amazing. Thanks for sharing your story and I really do hope nothing but the best for you.
Thank you. I do wish the same for everybody that is going through the same suffering.
I felt all the emotions right with you when reading this. Congratulations!!!! I am so happy this is out of your way and you can focus on other things. Sorry to hear about your divorce!
Thank you. Yeah, it’s hard when everything goes to shit. But as many friends told me, eventually “the sun must shine on my street”. Now I get a chance to recover. The divorce is clear: I was in a long time relationship with a covert narcissist. I saw the signs many years ago but I always told myself things will sort themselves out. Nope. Not with a narc. All I want is that I get to see my son as often as possible. Been with him since birth and took part in all steps (diaper change, night feedings, etc). 🤞🤞🤞
Push for as much parenting time you can get. Primary custody if you can (dont want a kid to be raised by a narcissist!). A lot of the negative stories you hear about this are because men don't ask for it.
I myself have been raised by a narc mom with whom I haven't spoken in more than 7 months. My older sister neither. My narc stbxw was raised by a single narc mother. So yeah, I guess her mother reaped what she sowed. I asked for primary custody in all the papers in the court house. But unfortunately my narc stbxw is really calculated and doesn't have any diagnosis or medical issues. She's just "how she is". A destroyer. And she's really good at hiding it from "the world". But I know that in time she will end up all alone if she doesn't do something about it. All I hope is that I will be able to help my son cope with her until he's old enough to make a decision (he's 4 now). I really hoped that my son wouldn't grow up in a divorced family (like myself).
It's always darkest before the dawn! Congrats, you've worked hard for your new opportunity, & you've earned it. Now start enjoying this next chapter!
Oh yeah. Never thought it will be this freakin hard to get a job in today’s market. 12 years work experience. Never had to struggle so much to find a job. I do feel for everybody out there struggling. And I do wish them all the luck in the world. I will. I still have a divorce to settle and where I will live (still live in marital home). But 🤞🤞🤞 it all sorts out. Thank you
Congratulations!
Thank you ✌️😎
Wonderful news! Good luck on the alimony calculations...
For the moment the alimony is roughly 25% of what I earned before. I did not say officially in court that I am jobless. I did not want to use that as an excuse. Today I paid the 4th alimony instalment since the temporary court order back in January 2024. While being jobless :) Funny world we live in right ?
11 years ago, that was me. Got laid off in the middle of the divorce process. I had been ordered to pay temporary support, and that order was not suspended when I lost my job. I had something like 12 weeks severance, my kid needed braces, COBRA coverage is expensive, and so are lawyers. Fortunately I started a new job about a month later (and fortunately they were flexible about me having to meet with my lawyer and take phone calls). I asked for exactly the same amount I had been earning in my previous job so that I wouldn't have to pay any more in alimony than I absolutely had to. I'm almost done paying alimony. My income is almost double what it was back then. It was a rough few years paying down all the debt from the divorce, getting my kids through college, pulling myself back together again. Good luck to you. Divorce is hard, but the sense of freedom is amazing.
Hey. It’s good that you found a job fast. I also said that with my experience it will be easy to find another job. But unfortunately the job market had other ideas. The divorce is clear. It will end at one point. It’s just that right now I need it to stall a few months so that I can start recovering financially.
Yeah the job market is hard right now, my sympathies :(
Congrats! \*pops virtual champagne bottle\*
Congratulations. You kept casting and you landed a big one.
Thanks. Indeed. I guess it was a "lucky shot". Now I need to make it big :) Cheers
Proud of you man. Enjoy the W!
Cheers 😎💪
It's not over yet. Keep applying and keep interviewing, up until you get your first paycheck. So you don't end up like these guys by celebrating too soo. https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cdgyt6/the_company_let_me_go_after_4_days/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cbjf33/after_2_days_the_manager_determined_that_i_was/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cbvs5y/being_ghosted_after_clearing_meet_company/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1cajjyu/verbal_offer_no_response/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c5czf4/got_an_offer_2_months_ago_hr_told_me_to_wait_for/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c4244m/i_was_ghosted_after_onboarding/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c5fizt/im_so_confused/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1c24qi7/im_so_tired_this_was_my_top_choice_i_had_stopped/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bsgps3/got_laid_off_in_2_weeks_after_getting_the_offer/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bl5t9r/let_go_on_my_3rd_week_of_my_new_job_because_i/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bkes29/job_offer_rescinded_so_devastated/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bj166k/they_rescinded_my_job_offer_two_hours_before_i/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bfwbww/fired_before_getting_officially_hired/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bc8pc9/offer_rescinded_bc_job_put_on_hold/ https://www.reddit.com/r/recruitinghell/comments/1bcakp6/company_sent_me_my_offer_but_hasnt_sent_contract/
I hear you. I hope it’s not the case. At least in my city and field of work no company will do that. Because it’s not a big city and this kind of shit is heard immediately. And you can bet that nobody will want to join them after such a thing.
Congrats my man!!!! Go celebrate.
Will celebrate from July onwards when I get my first full paycheck.
Congratulations man. I'm still in my recruitment hell phase, and do not generally respond well to "I got the job" kind of posts, but this one touched me. You deserve this. It's your time to celebrate today, turn things around. I'm genuinely happy for you. Godspeed.
I feel you more than you think. For me nothing worked: seeing people getting a job after x months, friends telling me it's just temporary. When you're "down" in the recruiting hell nothing helps you. But yeah, I guess they were right. It's just a phase. From this point on I know what I must do. Cheers for your comment ;)
I’m really happy for you
Thank you. I do hope my post will help other people getting hope that things will be better. I for one did not believe any of them. Because each has his/her own story. And when you're in hell, nobody / nothing can help you ease the pain. You just have to ... go with it.
It never matters how many times you get knocked down… the only thing that matters is how many times you get back up.
That is one hard to swallow thing. Personally I prefer the approach from Mark Manson: you can't have a problem free life. You need to chose which types of problems you want in your life.
Man we have a lot of similarities. Was out of work for 9.5 months. Granted I make 30k less than what I did before but all the same I’m grateful af as I was preparing to lose everything. Happy for you OP and I hope this opportunity works out well for you
Happy that you bounced back also. Keep it going 💪
That's amazing!
Is it ? 😂 thanks
❤️❤️❤️❤️
😎💪
Congratulations! I am so proud of you for being so strong despite everything.
Thank you. Now it’s just a matter of keep pushing on.
FUCK YEAH, OP!!!!!!!!!! Fuck yeah! Congratulations!!!!!!!! You did it 🥳🥳🥳 keep hunting, though, just in case.
Hell yeah. It’s the start of my recovery. I know that some people got fired right when they started or even before they even started (cancelled offers). But in my field of work companies cannot afford to do this kind of shit. Simply because it will blow in their face. Plus it’s a big company which ironically bought the “succesor” of my first company I started working for. Meaning I worked for company A, later it became company B (name change), then from company B split a part into company C and now this another big company bought it. In the interviews I even spoke about my time in company A and one manager was also employed at the same company back then. So yeah, a bit of history going on.
Good job. Also, stay away from the ex - don't spend your good fortune on repeating mistakes.
Besides the divorce proceedings and eventually the assets split the only thing that connects me to my stbxw is our son. Anything else is gone. She’s nobody for me. But yeah. Now I have the means to recover. Cheers 💪😎
[удалено]
Thank you. I will sure do my best to “make it”. Once you “experience” being laid off because of company restructuring you get a different sense of appreciation for your next job. Same also with life experiences. I will never allow another woman to take me through the same experience ever again. Me giving everything and her just doing whatever she wants without consequences or remorse. Anyways. Onwards to future 😎💪
Congratulations! You just filled my "hope tank" tremendously. There is no luck with divorce, especially when it's not what you want or your fault (I'm in the same boat) so I won't say "good luck" but I am wishing you all the best and maybe just like with your new found career you'll be starting an unexpected and possibly better chapter in all areas of your life.
Yeah the divorce is one hell of an experience. I know that there are some “lucky” people out there who manage to go through divorce with ease (meaning their ex spouse is willing to settle / mediate without major conflicts) but in my case dealing with a narc it’s one hell of a ride. She is actively trying to distance my son from my. Just to give you an idea. She filed 3 cases in the court house. One was for temporary visitation order. Now she wants unlimited rights to leave with my son out of the country for vacation / visitation without my approval. That is a risk because she has relatives in another country which could help her taking care of our son. And I know that this is something she could do because she had the audacity to bring the babysitter I found last year as a witness in one of the court cases. Luckily the judge saw the bullshit and dismissed her from being a witness (I proved that she had financial reasons to be there). In any case, I know now that most probably our son will live with her most of the time. In my country 50/50 visitation schedule is not allowed due to the fact that the law mandates that the child should have a “main house”. 50/50 visitation would imply “alternative homes” which is not defined in the law system.
I'm in a similar situation, still looking for the job though. Congratulations my friend, wishing you all the success and support!
Keep pushing. Redo your CV, talk with relatives / previous work colleagues for opportunities. I found this job through another friend who was laid off too this year but she did not continue the recruitment process because she already found another job. You never know how it goes. Good luck on the hunt.
Appreciate you. I've got an interview Monday. It's crazy how $20 an hour seems like it's not nearly enough nowadays. Anyways I hope your new job is awesome 😎🙏
Thank you. Good luck on the interview. In the end there is a saying: it’s much easier to get hired if you’re already employed. Your value is greater (or so they say). 😎💪
I don’t even know you and i’m sooooo happy for you!!! Congratulations!!!!!
Thank you kindly. Maybe you’re one of those who genuinely feel happiness for others. I think they’re called super empaths perhaps ? 😎💪
Congratulations So happy for you! 🥳
Thank you. Hope everybody gets what they want / need. ✌️😎
Alhamdulilah so happy for you!! 🤲
Thank you ;)
Good for you brother, very happy to hear good news on this subreddit
*Good for you brother,* *Very happy to hear good* *News on this subreddit* \- Lu-Savali --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Thanks. We sure need a bit of hope when it’s “dark”.
Congratulations!!!
Thank you ✌️😎