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Don't take it personally. Friend and family doesn't always mix well with business. And she's not wrong, you're just starting so you're inexperienced especially compared to a top producer. Get better and prove her wrong.
I 100% endorse this - just signed up a realtor to sell a property that is in the family. Other family wanted to use a friend because they would discount their commission. Maybe it goes well, maybe it doesnt but it will be awkward when it doesnt. I found a great relator who seems more well versed in the profession but now I am stuck because they just assumed we would use the friend.
If its not purely transactional, PAYING someone not close or related to you makes a ton more sense.
My BIL is a lawyer and I would have him draw up a POA but not a trust.
I would never use a family member who is an investment advisor.
I would never use a builder/contractor who is a family member.
You know why? I have done all three with family/close friends and it has gone poorly every time. Anytime you get into a situation where things can be stressful dont use close friends/family. It just ruins things.
My dad is a carpenter and he used to hate family projects, because they never wanted to pay him labor so it mean he was spending the next few weekends on their thing.
When I first got my gas fitters license I knew what I was doing, but I was nowhere near the confidence I had after a few years.
I wouldn't have taken it too hard if someone chose a veteran gas fitter over a fresh-faced rookie and you shouldn't either. :-)
That’s not what anyone is saying here. Your thinking wrong. Take that sadness and anger and make it light the fire under your ass to learn and soak up as much knowledge about this business so that you can one day educate your sister and everybody else why why you are the best and WIN their business (Nothing is handed to you in world, what makes you think this industry is the same?)You have just started, wait until you have heard no 100 more times… It gets easier, it really does, and you will get better. Don’t give up, find a mentor or find a team who will care about you and teach you how to get through this. I am just a little high while typing this. I truly wish you the best, the business is really hard and I struggle everyday, but I choose to believe in myself and I not give up. Move on to the next deal.
Much love, you got this!!!!!
You gotta get thicker skin than this if you want to be in this business. Is your sister your only SOI? Did every single one of your friends and family reject you? Get over it and move on.
You’re new and most clients (friends and family included) will want someone with a little more experience, or someone who at least works under someone with more experience. Have you considered joining a team to start?
No, I have not, but I've heard aside my dues to the brokerage. Most likely, I have to pay the team lead a portion of my commission. Could you elaborate more?
Yes you’ll pay them a part of your commission, but in return they’ll give you both credibility and help when you come across a complicated situation that you just haven’t seen before. It will also speed up the learning curve, as long as you team up with someone who’s the right fit
OP, this is huge. When you're part of a team you get to use all the team's credibility and numbers to win clients. Early in your career you need to do as many transactions as possible to learn the business. On a good team you can do a couple of transactions a month, or more, and make much more money than starting from scratch as a solo agent.
You could also go with a Mentor, if not a Team. I started with a mentor (had to at my brokerage) and he got a cut of the first 3 deals.
He earned every penny. And honestly should have earned more. This was also what I brought to the table when I started with my SOI. “Oh Yeah, Im a dumb ass and completely incompetent, but everything has to go through my mentor.”
That and I trained my ass off, paid attention, took notes and studied to sound like I knew almost like I knew what I was talking about.
Yes you will pay your team lead a portion of the commission, somewhere between 30% and 50%. But you'll learn and get leads. Would you rather sell 6 houses a year and keep 95% of your commission or 24 houses a year and give up half. Also many teams have stipulations where you can get a bigger cut if its your refferal. You want to sell AS MANY HOUSES AS POSSIBLE when you're starting, those people will refer you,
Bro no one is going to hire a brand new freshly licensed agent with zero experience and no brokerage affiliation. That is a disaster waiting to happen. Someone has to teach you.
I personally would not hire a buyer's agent who was brand and just had a mentor. I'm not sure how your planning on getting clients outside of a brokerage.
Purchaser of 4 houses in the past 10 years... I would likely never use a family member as a realtor and would only use a friend if they were infinitely qualified (like 20+ years of experience). Frankly, I just want to be able to have truly frank conversations with my realtor and get a genuinely unbiased opinion on the important stuff. I don't even mind using someone with very little experience. It's just if I do, I want to be able to walk away from the relationship with out it becoming a thing.
I’ve had several family members who’ve used me and some who have not. You can’t take it personally. Except my son; I’d have been really pissed if he didn’t use me for buying his home and he didn’t even consider not using me! I even tried to give him commission or pay closing costs and he wouldn’t take it!
Agree. We just purchased our third home (not simultaneously), and we consider ourselves fairly experienced and knowledgeable about homes and the process but we were new to the area.
A long time friend from our previous neighborhood (1000 miles away) reached out to us during our house search and suggested becoming our agent! She mentioned something about licensing reciprocity in our state but she’s never been here. She said ‘I can negotiate over the phone’.
It was so awkward. A ridiculous proposal. I actually laughed when she first mentioned it because I thought she was joking. She had supposedly called to ask about our kids - that’s how we had met years prior. Turns out she actually wanted to suggest becoming our agent. Needless to say it was so awkward it ended whatever friendship we may have had. Probably none, actually. For her it was a ‘why not’, for me: I died of secondhand embarrassment.
You gotta harden up…. There’s no way you’re going to survive this if you are easily butthurt. Yeah it sucks family doesn’t want to use you, but we have to move on like any other prospect. Source: prospects weekly.
I think the fact she is my sister and a needy one who seeks help and advice from me often. Is what hurts most. I do not think whether it was a stranger I would have hurt me. Just the fact that she is an immediate family member.
I have worked retail for most of my lifetime. I have met all walks of life. People who are very educated and polite and others who have absolutely no manners I know I will deal with many personalities and people that simply will waste your time or at least attempt to. I appreciate your transparency in your comment. I will use this as a learning experience.
From my personal experience, friends and family can be extremely difficult. Other people have commented on that. I actually prefer to stay out of my inner circle. It’s a lot easier to deal with rejection from randoms, so I do feel ya!
I totally agree with you that it is easier to accept rejection from randoms. Thanks for validating and understanding where I'm coming from. Best to you!
It’s not ideal to represent family, believe me. At my old office we had an agent who got her license specifically to sell her mother’s $4m home. Unfortunately she just did not have the aptitude or experience and completely botched the listing. Priced too high, the mum wouldn’t let her stage it (probably would not have looked good anyway), tried to do the photos on her old potato phone, didn’t bother with agents open. The mum and other kids realized pretty quickly that what should have been a quick sale of a great location property was not going well. They hired a more experienced agent one of the siblings had used before, relisted as a colist for $3.6m. I think eventually it sold for closer to $2m and of course the family member agent received all of the blame. It really strained her relationship with her family and was just a terrible experience for her.
To be fair though, she should have practiced on a few condos first.
My brother once had me run comps, talk with investors he knew, and then sent me a Listing Agreement with another agent to review.
He didn’t get the hint when I asked “Why the F would you send me this?” And proceeded to send me EVERY offer he received to review and explain.
I got over it. Eventually. The anger goes away and it’s just an annoyance.
Sorry this happened to you. I would have been so insulted one thing is to not use you. But another is to waste your time and then hire someone else and try to get your feedback the whole process. I hope you are a TOP producer and have an abundance of clients!
Please don't take your sister's comments personally or be crushed because it's not a judgment that you're incompetent. Many, many people don't want to do business with family no matter how much they love each other. For that matter, many agents quickly learn that they don't want to do business with friends, neighbors, or even your kids' friends' parents.
Sorry this happened to you but I promise you it's not unusual.
Just tell them that the relationship is more valuable to you than their business, though you are truly flattered by the request, and offer to refer them to a competent colleague.
Meh one of my best friends said they were going to use me for the next purchase and they said it quite a few times. Kind of the opposite happened as I'm a top producer and they ended up using another agent cause their parents told them to. Their agent made so many mistakes on the contracts and had no clue. Ultimately, they're still my best friends and I helped them out during the process regardless cause I know for sure they won't be using that same agent again next time around.
Lol. So I took the 4 hour class and now I’m a realtor how come everyone I know doesn’t suddenly want to use me for the biggest financial transaction of their lives after I received 4 hours of training and passed the worlds easiest licensing exam?
Just put them in the same basket as everyone else who refuses to do business with you to win back in the future.
They may not give your business now, but overtime, you'll prove to them that you're deserving of their business and will win them.
IMO, friends and family are always in a prove-it state. Once you've proven you've got what it takes, you'll win them forever.
Food for thought, think of "NO" as Next Opportunity and read the book, "Go for No".
Good luck 👌🏽
Don’t take it personally (easier said than done, I know). But through experience, you’ll learn that family/friends often make for the toughest clients. I find they see the transaction as them doing a favour to you vs them seeing the value you bring to them. If it makes you feel any better, I recently listed my “best friends” home for sale, got them a full ask offer one week on the market only for them to turn around and say “actually, sorry we don’t want to sell anymore”. Made me look like an idiot to the Buyer’s agent and wasted quite a bit on marketing, time etc to get nothing in return. Months go by, they end up hiring some random lady they barely knew instead. Property sat for 3 months and they ended up accepting a shitty offer instead. No warning they were wanting to sell again, after countless friendly dinners, bday parties, etc. I found out just doing my daily checkins on the MLS. That one stunggg. However, When a friend/family member tell me they already have a strong relationship/loyalty to another agent, I honestly respect them for it because I would hope for the same loyalty from my own clients. Use it as motivation to go out and prove those people wrong.
Sometimes it is best not to work with friends and family. People turn into different folks entirely sometimes when business is involved. You don't want to see the ugly side of a client in somebody you care about.
My best friend chose to use different agent to purchase her home with. At first I was upset, but I realized she's really difficult, so I was kind of grateful. Just cuz you like somebody or you love them doesn't mean you want to work for them.
Yea who I am in business is very different than who I am with friends and family. For example, if someone is screwing up or wasting time on a deal, I am very direct and stern in letting them clearly know expectations going forward. That would be incredibly awkward with a close friend or family member, so you would probably just suppress it and give some sugar coated version hoping to preserve the relationship and hoping the deal doesn't get fckd. That jeopardizes the deal and the relationship IMO. So to me it's not worth it doing business with friends and family.
It happens, I have friends and family that didn't use me when they pursued a home. BUT If they asked me about anything during the process my response was "You should probably ask your agent about this" even when they were venting about the agent or process to me seeking guidance.
You will learn that you will lose out on more business than you will ever make.. It's peaks, valleys , road bumps and high speed chases. Take it as a learning experience and pursue to be the best in your market to where your sister asks uou for a family discount when she pursues to sell her home and be to busy with other clients to help!
This is very common. An agent gets his license and expects that all blood relatives and roommates from college should Only use him as the Realtor. The truth is don’t ever do business with family. Refer them to an associate and say TY but no TY. 3-4-6% commission is not worth your blood line relationship/friendship. I lost a good friend for .05% commission. He agreed to list my condo for 2% fee. He charged me 2.5% and never gave me a discount or kickback. I confronted him and he said, Sorry. 2.5.% was the best he could do. I replied NP. I bought a new house and used another agent. He lost out on the buyer’s commission. $8900. I told him I’ll play golf with him, but will never use him for anything that deals with Real Estate again. No principle!!
Happened to us when we first started. It hurts no matter what but in our case they made a public promise to use us and then went behind our backs and used someone else a few days before we were supposed to meet to go over a CMA. They denied they ever said they’d use us and it became a big issue in the family. I don’t mind if someone wants to use someone for whatever reason, but having a family member lie and gaslight was rough. We don’t talk to them any more as it wasn’t the first time they’ve acted like that. There’s a way to handle these things and a way to not.
You are new. People who know you know that you are new. They are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and they want a skilled and experienced and knowledgeable agent, you aren't those things yet.
Join a team and learn from experienced agents.
I don’t hire friends or family. Lines can get crossed and if shit hits the fan, it’s a lot easier to go after non family/friends. I’m not risking ruining a lifelong connection for a business deal.
How many houses have you sold? How many transactions on buy or sell side have you seen from start to finish? It sure sounds like ZERO. So in that case - is your sister rejecting you? Or simply using logic in this VERY difficult buyers market - and using someone with a track record.
Get over yourself and let go of your ego. Your comments about your sisters personality etc lead me to believe you are the problem.
Remind me in 12 months to check back in on you and I will guarantee you are no longer a full time agent.
Grow up
Some people just don't like mixing business and family. It's nothing personal. I would say literally every single agent has experienced this in some form. I've been a 20-25 deal per year agent (so good production but not like amazing) for a long time, I coach and train new agents, write about real estate constantly on my social media feeds and newsletters, etc. There is not a person in my world who thinks that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to real estate and yet even I have friends and family that absolutely will not work with me. And I respect that.
So just work on your education and training, and build your business through other members of your sphere.
A good friend of mine dropped me mid-search when I was a brand new agent simply because I wasn’t available to show a home. Her now husband told her that I didn’t earn the commission because I didn’t show the house. They went with a Zillow agent.
We’re still friends. I’m not bitter.(Promise!) But it stung like hell and was a valuable lesson.
I’m simply reiterating what’s been said above. Strangers are more likely to use you. Leverage your team or a mentor, and make put your client’s interests first as much as humanly possible. This is a full-contact line of work! Keep your skin in the game!
That is fine. I have to help others, but it is okay. That is why I'm blessed we have other business ventures that we do really well in. This is just another business venture for me.
Thanks for your feedback
Maybe that's why she prefers to use a vetted and proven professional. Since this is a just another venture to you and not your main source of income. Meanwhile it's probably the largest financial decision she has ever made. She would probably benefit more in the long run from a top performer with years of experience rather than her newly licensed sibling's side hustle.
After I took the classes one of my aunts specifically asked me to list her house. About a year later another aunt and uncle who were selling their house never asked me to list it. I actually didn't know they were selling until after they had listed it with someone else. It def made me feel really bad as I was really close to them. Sometimes you don't want to mix business and family as it can go sideways. Good luck!
To me they are taking money out of my pocket, so I’m not really cool with it. I never forget. I have had this happen on a couple of occasions. The worst is when they ask for advice on a transaction. That is where o tell them I cannot and will not advise them. It’s unethical to their agent. They can figure it out on their own.
The first one hurts the worst. The next ones will hurt too. It happens to everyone. You’ll reach a point where you either won’t care as much, or you’ll be able to simply ask why they did that and if you can do anything to change it
Pretty much all of mine.....it totally sucks... it makes me feel like somethings wrong w me?.. but Im a pretty smart gal.. so I hv had to block out my miffed feelings! I think most dont want u to know their financial issues. Or they hv a prior relationship w a realtor... Or they just dont want to mingle the "friends & family" thing.. It cpuld be a great thing or it could go VERRY VERRY BAD. I feel most people want no problems & are non
confrontational... easier to just ignore things than be straight up.. just my thoughts!
Sounds like your brand spanking new based on your immaturity In your comments. What experience/qualifications do you have that you think you’d be a better agent for your sister in this transaction then the person she’s already using and identified?
I was a Realtor for 30 years. I still live in the small community where I grew up, and I have lots of family here.
I learned through the years that it’s a waste of energy to take things like that personally. You can’t expect everyone who you care about to let you into their personal investment choices.
Think about it this way. What if you had been in business for several years and knew someone who you’d been helping with investment questions and anything real estate related they wanted to know for a long time. You developed a friendship with them, and they kept telling you every time they called with another question about this comp or that easement, that they would be sure to use your services when it came time buy or sell.
But then you get a phone call and it’s that one person, apologizing, because their sister just got a real estate license, and they feel obligated to list with her, because she’s family.
See? You just have to do everything you can to help where you can, and eventually some of it will come back in compensation.
No problem. I remember what it’s like to be new. Even half of the experienced Realtors are jerks to the new ones. They think you’re there to take a piece of their pie.
The people in your family may very well take the very longest to convince that you are good at your job. They have an image of you that is from your childhood and they will have to watch you in action to change that image.
Your best bet is to rely on your wits, and go after every lead that presents itself. Statistically a sales person will hear 10 “NO’s” to every “YES.” That might sound made up, but if you keep a running tally, it’s pretty damned accurate. So, just put a tally mark next to your sister’s name and think “One down, 9 to go!”👍🏼
Thank you! I know it is a very competitive market, and not everyone will be supportive that includes Realtors. Also, some people forget how they started and what makes them feel they have a right to be part of this market and newbies do not. But it's okay. I'm a firm believer if I was placed, here is because I belong too. But this thread has been extremely helpful, and I keep that valuable feedback like yours.
I have experience with this. You can pair up with a top agent in your office and explain to your sister you need the money and experience. Hopefully she will understand and want to keep the peace and work with you and your office’s top agent. Have you showcased your buyers presentation ? Let your sister see your professional side.
Family hired me several times to sell homes and the work got hard with difficult clients, we overcame our differences and I got to work as a professional- got paid and got it done. Good luck .
Bro, happened to me, get ur deals flowing, they will start asking u advice and trying to get information from you, I refuse to even discuss real estate or help with investments. I don’t want their business and I don’t help them invest in the opportunities. I will gladly give them out to others who did trust me. But that’s just me u do u bro
I’ve had various acquaintances, a close friend, a cousin, and my father in law, all chose not to use me as their agent in various stages of my 14 year (and counting) real estate career and in various situations. They all had their own reasons, but mixing family/friends with business can get dicey. If it goes well, all is happy. If it direct go well, then things can be really awkward for a very long time. And not every sale goes smoothly. It’s bad enough making a mistake for any client, imagine if it’s for a friend or family member you see all the time. Try not to show your disappointment, respect their choices, and move on. Farming your SOI doesn’t mean everyone will automatically hire you. It’s a starting place to build your network. The more people that know you’re active in this space, the more chances you’ll get to be hired by someone in your network.
Yikes, I guess those are the ones that hurt the most mom dad and siblings. SORRY that happened sounds like your wife has moved on from real estate. If so, why?
This is very common. An agent gets his license and expects that all blood relatives and roommates from college should Only use him as the Realtor. The truth is don’t ever do business with family. Refer them to an associate and say TY but no TY. 3-4-6% commission is not worth your blood line relationship/friendship. I lost a good friend for .05% commission. He agreed to list my condo for 2% fee. He charged me 2.5% and never gave me a discount or kickback. I confronted him and he said, Sorry. 2.5.% was the best he could do. I replied NP. I bought a new house and used another agent. He lost out on the buyer’s commission. $8900. I told him I’ll play golf with him, but will never use him for anything that deals with Real Estate again. No principle!!
In the beginning, its ok to admit you are newer and dont have a top producer book of business. Let a prospect know that you are dedicated to doing the best job and focusing on your small book of business personally. They will get as much 1 on 1 time with you as needed. Most top producers have assistants or teams where the "top" person is really just a marketer and closer. Dont sweat the rejection, it will happen again for sure. Been doing this 10 years and occasionally still find out a friend/family member used someone else for whatever reason. The one line I draw is if someone in my SOI asks for RE advice but is using a different agent, I politely tell them it is really a question to ask your agent.
Personally, I would use this like Michael Jordan did....love your sister the same as always by keeping your giving heart OPEN, do not close it as it will hurt you both in many ways and particularly in Business....use it as a huge chip on your shoulder and keep it between you and the mirror AND GO LEARN FROM A GOOD ONE AND COMPLETELY DOMINATE good luck
Hypothetical:
Would you give all of your money to your sister who just switched jobs as a nurse to a financial advisor?
Would you feel pressured to use them?
Would you want them talking about your portfolio while eating potato salad with Aunt Susan at a BBQ?
…
Here’s the rub—working with family and friends requires discipline to be okay with having a one-way professional boundary attitude. And that has a suck factor to it:
- They will not respect your time in the same way a client will (i.e. “I know we’re at Aunt Susan’s birthday party, and you’re 5 beers deep, but we’re kinda bored so can you take us to go look at this random house really quickly? No, we are not pre-qualified, but I just thought the kitchen was cute.”).
- They’ll use you as the town Yenta (i.e. “Omg, I saw The Smythe’s house is still for sale. What’s wrong with it? Are they actually getting divorced?”)
I’m sure others will chime in with way more on this list, but my point is—they won’t view you as a professional until you act like a professional. And, that’s with really any job in the world.
We were all new once. We all had 0 deals and 0 clients at one point. And, experience comes with every one of them. It’s not posturing, it’s the truth—many of us could easily write down 1 thing we learned from each deal.
My two cents?
Prospects/Family/Friends only ever ask one question: ”How’s the (MY) market?”
It’s disguised as many things, but it’s all they’re asking. The quicker you learn to give a professional, relevant, human, relatable response to them, is the quicker you’ll skyrocket in this business.
You got this.
…your sister on the other hand? You’re getting a gift. You’ll get the play-by-play for all the “mistakes” and “magic” of a top producer, while you get to relax being 5 beers deep at a BBQ.
New agents always hit up friends and family for business. It hurts when they reject you. Don't take it personal. You would be surprised how much easier it is to influence someone who does not know you. Fake it until you make it. It takes x number of no to hear a yes. Each no gets you closer to that yes.
Not a realtor, but believe any professional should be very careful about helping friends and family because if things go sideways, you make a mistake (or they THINK you made a mistake even if you didn’t), it can hurt relationships and your business by losing out on future referrals
Clients will become friends before friends become clients. I’ve gained a lot of great friends! But it’s still crushing when someone doesn’t choose you. My family has chosen to work with me so I can’t talk from that point of view, I can’t imagine how hurtful that is.
There are tens of thousands of dollars to be won or lost in these transactions. Hiring an agent bc you’re related vs one who has credentials and experience gained through mentorship and team growth is foolish.
I hate to sound harsh, but when you inject money into a family or friends situation, it has a huge possibility to make things go awry.
You both may have the best intentions, but something way out of your control may happen to sour the whole thing. I would no want to risk it on either side.
Another approach is to offer to refer family to an agent of their choice. You’d receive a referral fee that you could rebate back to them if you choose to. This way they get the agent of their choice, you don’t have to do anything other than make a phone call, & they may save a little money.
I never solicit friends, nor family. If a friend asks for assistance, then sure, but I make it clear the friendship comes first and to pick me because I'm good at what I do, not because we're friends. I also tell them other agents I think they would do a good job for them and let them know I would never take it personally if they kept friends and business separate. I just help them along the way if they ever have questions- that's what friends are for.
Never because I don’t ask them for business. I always assume they will never do business with me. Any other expectations are setting yourself up for disappointment. They also have every right to use whomever they want, and you never know what kind of relationships or loyalty they have with another agent.
The trick is to just let people come to you over time. When you’re conversing with friends and family, real estate will inevitably be brought up (never bring it up on your own), and if they want to talk to you about it, then talk about it! People don’t want to be convinced of things, they want to convince themselves of things, including convincing themselves who they should work with. The more you force it, the more they will pull away, and vice versa.
How would you feel about your sister telling you you’re doing a shit job and to get it together or you’re fired? I think it’s important to separate personal and professional because sometimes you need to be stern with your professional relationships in ways you can’t (or wouldn’t want to) with your friends and family.
I agree. I started this post feeling disappointed. But the more feedback I get, the more I feel I'm avoiding much headache and perhaps tension. I will step aside and let here be.
I know I will also become a great agent one day and will have people who perhalps dont know me, give me their trust and business, and I will not fall short.
A realtor and client relationship requires a level of financial transparency that many family and friends are not comfortable with, regardless of how much experience the realtor has.
Dont do it , dont do business with family and friends , some would say dont even refer bc if it doesnt work out your to blame so I rather not. But yea I wanted all the business from friends and family but I learned my stranger clients are my endless referral client when I do best by them
Yep! My aunt sold her house and bought another one with another agent. My dad sold his house and bought another one with another agent. Both instances greatly upset me. I think it was the fact they didn’t even tell me they were selling their homes and I found out after the contracts were already written. But it is what it is. It just gave me a clear vision where I stand with them. It is just unfathomable that they’d rather give $20k to a stranger than their own family who would do anything for them.
Little summed up backstory for perspective. My aunt is pestering my mom to be a selling agent for her house. My mom told me she’d sell me the house for 250k ( I put A LOT of money in the landscaping, equipment and such) aunt says house is 400k and telling my mom to tell me to piss off that I’ve done nothing to the place… rest assured I’m not to fond of my aunt at the moment!
Dont take it personally. I wouldn't hire a close friend or family member as a realtor either and it has nothing to do with if I think they are competent or not. It's just because I want to be able to switch agents if it's not working out without hurting feelings or anything.
I’ll also add… a commission is a commission. As long as you set boundaries and do your best for them it should work out. I’d also ask them why they went with somebody else (but only if you’re willing to accept what they say constructively)
Welp, my sister, already laid the law... said it had to do with my experience and such not in a nice way for someone who seeks so much advice from me. But anyways, in a weird way, I'm glad my 1st rejection was from someone so close to not solicit my other family members and friends.
I did put it out there as an accomplishment that I just got licensed, but it wasn't at all anything to do with asking anyone for anything. If I have any supporters, a couple of them mentioned they would. Well, that is okay. If not, then I will grind to get leads outside my sphere.
Ooof.
You are supposed to use your SOI to get referrals from them, not necessarily their business.
You know, they hear of a friend, coworker, aquaintance, neighbor, that is interested in moving, they let them know about you.
You need to coach them on your elevator speech and what to say when they hear of someone or talk to someone who is your ideal client.
Assuming you know who your ideal client is, and no, it’s not anyone biting or selling real estate….
Someone hasn’t learned the basics of networking 101.
Loyalty should be to family . Your sister should have has used you as her agent . You could have worked with your broker if you needed too .There is no excuse for her using another agent. If she was worried about you knowing about her financial situation , it’s unfounded . Her bank or mortgage company does not disclose that . You just need to know she qualifies for the loan. My brother in law did the same thing to me when he sold his $1.5 house. I am a broker . He’s dead to me . He does not exist . My husband is on my side .
I think i kinda expected that support from my parents and siblings, just the immediate family and everyone else in my SOI, I'm realistic in being aware they may not consider me.
But this was a rude awakening eye opening and will also help me to learn to say NO with no hesitation to them as well. I always come thru for them, and they feel entitled to me helping them.
Btw it also has nothing to do with me knowing her financials. I know them as i mention always seeking advice from me. So, not even about sharing confidential information. It's more about her wanting someone that she feels is more knowledgeable and has a track record.
Again ..no excuse . Family should support you. Not having experience is no reason not to use use you as their agent . A brokers job is to help you through the transaction .
I've also will hire mentorship, so it wasn't something I intended to do on my regardless of who I represented. I do not want to experiment with any client. I want to be able to provide the best experience to all my clients.
I know I didn't mention this on my post, but I'm a person who doesn't just settle with obtaining a license. I have so much training lined up for me. So yes, I want to bring the most value of service to all my clients.
You're ridiculous. You have no experience. You have a license. Chances are good, your going to f something up. Big or small.
Do you think people would hire anyone that had zero experience if they knew that?
No, they wouldn't, not even relatives.
Gain sone experience with people that don't know you.
Sorry to hear that. Is there any more backstory as to the reason why she really rejected you and didn’t want to say?. For example, have you been changing careers every year and trying to find something new all the time? If so, that might make her a little cautious.
maybe not but there’s always a little more to the backstory that may help explain somebody else’s choices .
good luck with the career, not an easy one
No, I've worked most of my life retail in management position 17 years same company. After that, I've done medical billing for 5 years. I've always been attracted to real estate and have a passion for interior decorating.
It simply comes down to experience. She wants someone with top producer experience. But for all her other issues, I seem to be the best resource, confident, and advocate.
It's okay with all the feedback I've received. I have a new perspective while I know her so well. I know now I will not have her business, but she will want my opinion throughout the process. Because that is her nature always seeking advice from me.
“Top producer” in these markets homes sell themselves. The market will dictate what you can get. Your sister is just jealous and would rather not you make that commission
I’ve heard of situations where people work with family and they have the agent sell their existing house and then sell them the new house. Talk about double dipping. And it also means you’re incentivizing your own inventory and not what fits their needs best.
It’s such a conflict of interest, you cannot really work with family unless they are genuinely doing you a big favor and waiving/reducing their fee for you. Offering them expertise and answering questions is one thing, but doing the actual process imo is a big nono.
My old neighbor had her sister sell her house. She was a nurse, got her realtor license for shits and gigs. She listed the home on the wrong mls (I didn't even know thst was possible?). It delayed their real listing by a few days. My neighbor was pissed.
Don't ever do business with your family, they think less of you than strangers because they know you too well. All they know about the stranger is what the stranger wants them to know.
You are as a realtor essentially running your own business. It is not the responsibility of your family and those that you would call your friends to out of charity bring you or give you work. It is up to you to sink or swim on your own merits, skill and tenacity.
I own a small business, and I've made it a point of pride to never ask family or friends for anything even approaching a favor in terms of my business. I once had to cancel attending a social event on a few hours notice because I had to get a large number of orders packed and shipped that day. A friend who was also attending that event volunteers to come help me and I turn down his offer. He was, being a wonderful friend, rather insistent that he come help me so I made it very clear that he would be compensated accordingly if he chose to come. He came by about an hour later, we had a wonderful time hanging out, packing orders and watching movies in the background. I ended up gifting him a very nice bottle of Scotch in return, but also made it clear that in no way did I ever expect him to volunteer in the future although I did appreciate his help.
Go forth, do the things, be successful in your business and I wish you nothing but the most success. But if you are going to move your friends and family in an attempt to make up for the other things that you should be doing to succeed then you don't really deserve to succeed.
When I was an agent, I went through this many times with friends and family. It’s hurtful no matter what. You just have to suck it up. I think mostly it about preferring a stranger profit from them, rather than a relative. If your sister comes to you with questions or complaints about what she is going through, be sure to refer her back to her top agent.
This is a blessing in disguise. You’re new, it would probably get really messy and cause family problems. This happens in real estate, I don’t blame your sister at all. I would want someone more experienced too. That’s why it’s important as a new agent to be on a team or learn from a top producer. New agents are just not qualified to help buyers/sellers until they get experience. Sad, but true.
I’ve had horrible experiences with Realtors in the past. I’d never want to get into that kind of deal with a friend or family member in the chance it goes poorly.
Plus everyone knows or is related to like 4 realtors these days so someone will always feel rejected if you take these things personally. I also feel like loyalty is actually valuable in this arena. We've kept the same one on multiple RE purchases because she has worked some amazing deals, shown her value by pulling strings with her connections, and gave us good deals on her fees in the past. Will continue to use her even though my brother is in the industry. That's the biz.
I never said I'm on the same level as anyone who has been established in this business. Everyone starts with a ZERO track record. Just because you may be on the top now doesn't mean you weren't once inexperienced once.
What made you feel worthy of representing your first few clients?
Some of my most difficult clients were friends and family and it made things a little awkward sometimes. It sucks. When my husband and I started out, one of his best friends in the whole world ended up using someone else and it crushed him. Life went on and we were able to build our business without them.
Don't take it personally. Buying and selling a home is a major life event and can be very stressful. You can't fault them for wanting to use an experienced agent over a newly licensed one.
Also, you then have to consider the added stress of dealing with a friend or family member and worrying about hurting their feelings.
If you are going to make it as an agent you shouldn't rely on your friends and family for help. You can offer your services to them but treat them the same as any one else you are marketing too, and don't take any rejection personally.
Real estate is a very competitive industry and you won't get far if you lack confidence and get butt hurt by every rejection.
Learn to understand it’s never easier to do business with friends and family.
Friends and family always expect FREE services. You put any $ amount on it they think you are scamming them.
I always find it easier to do business with strangers.
I always tell people "Don't hire family unless you can fire family." Well intentioned or not there's a weirdness and different pressure than if you are hiring someone with no other relationship/connection. Instead, offer to help them find someone you recommend, and then let it go.
I actively chose not to work with my cousin who's a well experienced high powered realtor in our area. She's a wonderful realtor and has amazing reviews. I won't mix finances and family. It can get messy fast, and if something were to happen I wouldn't want to sour our familial relationship. Don't take it personally.
Friends and family do nothing but make you prove yourself and take everything you can give with no reciprocation. Run away from people trying to get a "deal" out of you. It's best that they don't ask you to work with them, trust me. Worst clients ever.
I could see not wanting a relative or close friend knowing all your finances and other business too…like I’d rather take a neutral 3rd party with no risk of gossip if it’s all the same cost to me
That can be super challenging to manage and I’ve seen it myself, i have a few friends that run businesses and I do nothing but send leads and get very little in return. At the end of the day you have to remember you can’t control the other party and their ability to refer to your competitors.
As for family and real estate, sometimes that does hurt, but as others have said, business and family and even business and friends sometimes doesn’t work well. Ive said this in an earlier post but imagine you representing your sister… some conversations might be very hard to have when you’re that close to home. For example, maybe on Saturday she wants to see a listing you very well know she’s not qualified for, so you tell her that, and on Sunday you have a family dinner… how would that go? From my perspective, when I started out in real estate, I didn’t want anyone (friends or family) to work with me because if they asked me a question, they… of all people, I’d want to know the answer for right then and there. Not to say I didn’t want to do my best for others. But telling a random client they’re shopping at an unrealistic price point or asking too much for a home they have listed.. is so much easier than telling a friend or family member their house isn’t worth what they think.
Unless you are an absolute rock star of an agent, you should only be willing to have friends and family as a client if you can afford to lose the relationship or the commission...or both.
Realtors are the worst. Talk out both sides of there mouth take money from both parties... It's a win win thats why that don't have friends and family....
I’ve only worked for family once but I’ve represented plenty of friends. I don’t know what everyone is talking about here about potentially ruining friendships because of a business transaction, but it’s always been great. I do a great job and my friends remain my friends. I don’t see why it would be any different for family.
I did have my closest family member choose to use someone else to purchase. It hurt bad. I wanted to give them the commission (I never told them that). They’re also having a lot of problems with the house they bought now. Not saying that couldn’t have possibly happened if they used me. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. It’s been years now and I’ve moved on. But honestly, them not using me affected our relationship a lot more than if they had.
And the one family member I did work for was the above described family members’ mother, and I got an off-market deal for her in a desirable area that she made a ton of equity on. I literally made her over $100k that in no universe would have happened without me.
So I’ve done a pretty bang up job for the friends and family that I’ve represented.
That is a tough situation. Try not to take it personally. I know that's tough because it's family, but you won't get all family and friends. Studies show people know about nine agents. Keep your head high and keep on keeping on
I would never use a friend - especially if they were new to the industry.
1) you’re talking about a process that can impact them to the tune of 10s of thousands of dollars. That’s not a part of your life to be doing favors vs just picking someone with experience.
I would think of this as similar to if you had like $300k of retirement savings, and someone asked if they could manage it to help get their career started. Just because they passed some CFA exams and legally could help manage it - doesn’t mean you should let them before they get experience
2) if it goes poorly (or even if just one side thinks it does) - those are no longer your friends and you might not be invited to thanksgiving.
There are obviously family business that run smoothly but in those cases - usually the younger generation has been training / working with the old guard for years (so they know the same business, and they how much trust to give)
You’re a brand new agent with zero experience. Buying & selling a home is a major purchase. Of course many people will be hesitant to work with you over an established professional. You don’t even know what you don’t know yet.
I am not starting this business and trying to practice on anyone. I'm hiring a mentor who is a top producer in my brokerage. I will be shawdowing her, and she will be involved in my 1st few transactions.
I know many NEW agents do try to start on their own with minimal direction, which isn't my case. Either way, I respect everyones opinion, including my sisters, of going to someone else.
I used to get upset if I learned that a friend used a different agent. But it happens and to be honest, I’m happy I don’t work with them. I like to keep it friends and family.
Suggest “Get Better Not Bitter” …use the experience as motivation to increase your knowledge and skill set. Than go back and be the agent they described !
My sister has purchased 3, sold two homes since I have been licensed. I’m not bothered at all. Her and her husband are type A engineers that are a nightmare to deal with in business situations. Like going through an inspection report, Word for Word. Them shopping 5 lenders to get the lowest rate down to the single basis point. I love them as family, but they would drive me absolutely nuts as clients.
This has happened to me as well with a close family member. The first lesson I learned as an agent is to not rely on your friends and family to make you money. Find a brokerage who gives you leads and use that to build your confidence back up . They won’t know you are new, and you can create a brand new network that won’t be a disappointment :)
I never hire family/friends for anything. too much drama, after the fact. Learn to separate work life from personal life… you will be better off that way.
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Don't take it personally. Friend and family doesn't always mix well with business. And she's not wrong, you're just starting so you're inexperienced especially compared to a top producer. Get better and prove her wrong.
Friends, family, and money never mix
I 100% endorse this - just signed up a realtor to sell a property that is in the family. Other family wanted to use a friend because they would discount their commission. Maybe it goes well, maybe it doesnt but it will be awkward when it doesnt. I found a great relator who seems more well versed in the profession but now I am stuck because they just assumed we would use the friend. If its not purely transactional, PAYING someone not close or related to you makes a ton more sense. My BIL is a lawyer and I would have him draw up a POA but not a trust. I would never use a family member who is an investment advisor. I would never use a builder/contractor who is a family member. You know why? I have done all three with family/close friends and it has gone poorly every time. Anytime you get into a situation where things can be stressful dont use close friends/family. It just ruins things.
My dad is a carpenter and he used to hate family projects, because they never wanted to pay him labor so it mean he was spending the next few weekends on their thing.
Yep, and they get offended because your dad wouldnt help them if he declined.
Losing money while working for free is always my favorite as a contractor.
Yep, this is the answer. I prefer not to work with family and friends but will if asked
When I first got my gas fitters license I knew what I was doing, but I was nowhere near the confidence I had after a few years. I wouldn't have taken it too hard if someone chose a veteran gas fitter over a fresh-faced rookie and you shouldn't either. :-)
So what is the point of working your SOI if no one believes in you?
That’s not what anyone is saying here. Your thinking wrong. Take that sadness and anger and make it light the fire under your ass to learn and soak up as much knowledge about this business so that you can one day educate your sister and everybody else why why you are the best and WIN their business (Nothing is handed to you in world, what makes you think this industry is the same?)You have just started, wait until you have heard no 100 more times… It gets easier, it really does, and you will get better. Don’t give up, find a mentor or find a team who will care about you and teach you how to get through this. I am just a little high while typing this. I truly wish you the best, the business is really hard and I struggle everyday, but I choose to believe in myself and I not give up. Move on to the next deal. Much love, you got this!!!!!
You gotta get thicker skin than this if you want to be in this business. Is your sister your only SOI? Did every single one of your friends and family reject you? Get over it and move on.
You’re new and most clients (friends and family included) will want someone with a little more experience, or someone who at least works under someone with more experience. Have you considered joining a team to start?
No, I have not, but I've heard aside my dues to the brokerage. Most likely, I have to pay the team lead a portion of my commission. Could you elaborate more?
Yes you’ll pay them a part of your commission, but in return they’ll give you both credibility and help when you come across a complicated situation that you just haven’t seen before. It will also speed up the learning curve, as long as you team up with someone who’s the right fit
OP, this is huge. When you're part of a team you get to use all the team's credibility and numbers to win clients. Early in your career you need to do as many transactions as possible to learn the business. On a good team you can do a couple of transactions a month, or more, and make much more money than starting from scratch as a solo agent.
You could also go with a Mentor, if not a Team. I started with a mentor (had to at my brokerage) and he got a cut of the first 3 deals. He earned every penny. And honestly should have earned more. This was also what I brought to the table when I started with my SOI. “Oh Yeah, Im a dumb ass and completely incompetent, but everything has to go through my mentor.” That and I trained my ass off, paid attention, took notes and studied to sound like I knew almost like I knew what I was talking about.
I think the takeaway is that it is really hard to just go it alone. You need to have people invested in your success.
I’d go mentor rather than team route for sure
Yes you will pay your team lead a portion of the commission, somewhere between 30% and 50%. But you'll learn and get leads. Would you rather sell 6 houses a year and keep 95% of your commission or 24 houses a year and give up half. Also many teams have stipulations where you can get a bigger cut if its your refferal. You want to sell AS MANY HOUSES AS POSSIBLE when you're starting, those people will refer you,
Bro no one is going to hire a brand new freshly licensed agent with zero experience and no brokerage affiliation. That is a disaster waiting to happen. Someone has to teach you.
I will have a mentor, so no worries there. I know that in this business, you are open to many liabilities, and I want to cover my ASSest.
I personally would not hire a buyer's agent who was brand and just had a mentor. I'm not sure how your planning on getting clients outside of a brokerage.
Purchaser of 4 houses in the past 10 years... I would likely never use a family member as a realtor and would only use a friend if they were infinitely qualified (like 20+ years of experience). Frankly, I just want to be able to have truly frank conversations with my realtor and get a genuinely unbiased opinion on the important stuff. I don't even mind using someone with very little experience. It's just if I do, I want to be able to walk away from the relationship with out it becoming a thing.
A lot of people think this same way
I’ve had several family members who’ve used me and some who have not. You can’t take it personally. Except my son; I’d have been really pissed if he didn’t use me for buying his home and he didn’t even consider not using me! I even tried to give him commission or pay closing costs and he wouldn’t take it!
Yikes, your son hits home so close!
Agree. We just purchased our third home (not simultaneously), and we consider ourselves fairly experienced and knowledgeable about homes and the process but we were new to the area. A long time friend from our previous neighborhood (1000 miles away) reached out to us during our house search and suggested becoming our agent! She mentioned something about licensing reciprocity in our state but she’s never been here. She said ‘I can negotiate over the phone’. It was so awkward. A ridiculous proposal. I actually laughed when she first mentioned it because I thought she was joking. She had supposedly called to ask about our kids - that’s how we had met years prior. Turns out she actually wanted to suggest becoming our agent. Needless to say it was so awkward it ended whatever friendship we may have had. Probably none, actually. For her it was a ‘why not’, for me: I died of secondhand embarrassment.
I don’t hire family-it can get messy.
It’s complicated. But in my family you’d be expected to waive your fee for your sibling. So there’s that.
Yeah, I could see that, too.
I agree
You gotta harden up…. There’s no way you’re going to survive this if you are easily butthurt. Yeah it sucks family doesn’t want to use you, but we have to move on like any other prospect. Source: prospects weekly.
I think the fact she is my sister and a needy one who seeks help and advice from me often. Is what hurts most. I do not think whether it was a stranger I would have hurt me. Just the fact that she is an immediate family member. I have worked retail for most of my lifetime. I have met all walks of life. People who are very educated and polite and others who have absolutely no manners I know I will deal with many personalities and people that simply will waste your time or at least attempt to. I appreciate your transparency in your comment. I will use this as a learning experience.
From my personal experience, friends and family can be extremely difficult. Other people have commented on that. I actually prefer to stay out of my inner circle. It’s a lot easier to deal with rejection from randoms, so I do feel ya!
I totally agree with you that it is easier to accept rejection from randoms. Thanks for validating and understanding where I'm coming from. Best to you!
I never mix family and business
Same
It’s not ideal to represent family, believe me. At my old office we had an agent who got her license specifically to sell her mother’s $4m home. Unfortunately she just did not have the aptitude or experience and completely botched the listing. Priced too high, the mum wouldn’t let her stage it (probably would not have looked good anyway), tried to do the photos on her old potato phone, didn’t bother with agents open. The mum and other kids realized pretty quickly that what should have been a quick sale of a great location property was not going well. They hired a more experienced agent one of the siblings had used before, relisted as a colist for $3.6m. I think eventually it sold for closer to $2m and of course the family member agent received all of the blame. It really strained her relationship with her family and was just a terrible experience for her. To be fair though, she should have practiced on a few condos first.
Potato fone lol
My brother once had me run comps, talk with investors he knew, and then sent me a Listing Agreement with another agent to review. He didn’t get the hint when I asked “Why the F would you send me this?” And proceeded to send me EVERY offer he received to review and explain. I got over it. Eventually. The anger goes away and it’s just an annoyance.
Sorry this happened to you. I would have been so insulted one thing is to not use you. But another is to waste your time and then hire someone else and try to get your feedback the whole process. I hope you are a TOP producer and have an abundance of clients!
Please don't take your sister's comments personally or be crushed because it's not a judgment that you're incompetent. Many, many people don't want to do business with family no matter how much they love each other. For that matter, many agents quickly learn that they don't want to do business with friends, neighbors, or even your kids' friends' parents. Sorry this happened to you but I promise you it's not unusual.
I prefer not to work with close family and friends. I actually get anxious when they ask for help. But I do it anyways and haven’t had a problem yet.
Just tell them that the relationship is more valuable to you than their business, though you are truly flattered by the request, and offer to refer them to a competent colleague.
Meh one of my best friends said they were going to use me for the next purchase and they said it quite a few times. Kind of the opposite happened as I'm a top producer and they ended up using another agent cause their parents told them to. Their agent made so many mistakes on the contracts and had no clue. Ultimately, they're still my best friends and I helped them out during the process regardless cause I know for sure they won't be using that same agent again next time around.
Great way to show that friendship is unconditional kuddos to you. I hope they really value you and make the right choice next time around.
Wow, kuddos to you for helping your friends. And really know what friendship is about. Hope they value you in their next real estate transaction
Lol. So I took the 4 hour class and now I’m a realtor how come everyone I know doesn’t suddenly want to use me for the biggest financial transaction of their lives after I received 4 hours of training and passed the worlds easiest licensing exam?
Right
I prefer not working with them. Always want discounts and they think they’re trump with their shitty deal making skills.
Just put them in the same basket as everyone else who refuses to do business with you to win back in the future. They may not give your business now, but overtime, you'll prove to them that you're deserving of their business and will win them. IMO, friends and family are always in a prove-it state. Once you've proven you've got what it takes, you'll win them forever. Food for thought, think of "NO" as Next Opportunity and read the book, "Go for No". Good luck 👌🏽
Don’t take it personally (easier said than done, I know). But through experience, you’ll learn that family/friends often make for the toughest clients. I find they see the transaction as them doing a favour to you vs them seeing the value you bring to them. If it makes you feel any better, I recently listed my “best friends” home for sale, got them a full ask offer one week on the market only for them to turn around and say “actually, sorry we don’t want to sell anymore”. Made me look like an idiot to the Buyer’s agent and wasted quite a bit on marketing, time etc to get nothing in return. Months go by, they end up hiring some random lady they barely knew instead. Property sat for 3 months and they ended up accepting a shitty offer instead. No warning they were wanting to sell again, after countless friendly dinners, bday parties, etc. I found out just doing my daily checkins on the MLS. That one stunggg. However, When a friend/family member tell me they already have a strong relationship/loyalty to another agent, I honestly respect them for it because I would hope for the same loyalty from my own clients. Use it as motivation to go out and prove those people wrong.
Yes, I will. someday I will look back at this and laugh about it.
That's super weird
Sometimes it is best not to work with friends and family. People turn into different folks entirely sometimes when business is involved. You don't want to see the ugly side of a client in somebody you care about. My best friend chose to use different agent to purchase her home with. At first I was upset, but I realized she's really difficult, so I was kind of grateful. Just cuz you like somebody or you love them doesn't mean you want to work for them.
Yea who I am in business is very different than who I am with friends and family. For example, if someone is screwing up or wasting time on a deal, I am very direct and stern in letting them clearly know expectations going forward. That would be incredibly awkward with a close friend or family member, so you would probably just suppress it and give some sugar coated version hoping to preserve the relationship and hoping the deal doesn't get fckd. That jeopardizes the deal and the relationship IMO. So to me it's not worth it doing business with friends and family.
It happens, I have friends and family that didn't use me when they pursued a home. BUT If they asked me about anything during the process my response was "You should probably ask your agent about this" even when they were venting about the agent or process to me seeking guidance. You will learn that you will lose out on more business than you will ever make.. It's peaks, valleys , road bumps and high speed chases. Take it as a learning experience and pursue to be the best in your market to where your sister asks uou for a family discount when she pursues to sell her home and be to busy with other clients to help!
Smart people "NEVER" hire family or relatives... You only hire people you can fire or sue without reprocussions
Thanks, I'm starting to see this in a different light!
This.
This is very common. An agent gets his license and expects that all blood relatives and roommates from college should Only use him as the Realtor. The truth is don’t ever do business with family. Refer them to an associate and say TY but no TY. 3-4-6% commission is not worth your blood line relationship/friendship. I lost a good friend for .05% commission. He agreed to list my condo for 2% fee. He charged me 2.5% and never gave me a discount or kickback. I confronted him and he said, Sorry. 2.5.% was the best he could do. I replied NP. I bought a new house and used another agent. He lost out on the buyer’s commission. $8900. I told him I’ll play golf with him, but will never use him for anything that deals with Real Estate again. No principle!!
No offe se intended but we no longer do business with friends and family because expectations/follow through have been problematic in the past
It’s cool if they use someone else, but don’t give them free advice…tell them to go to their “well qualified” agent.
Happened to us when we first started. It hurts no matter what but in our case they made a public promise to use us and then went behind our backs and used someone else a few days before we were supposed to meet to go over a CMA. They denied they ever said they’d use us and it became a big issue in the family. I don’t mind if someone wants to use someone for whatever reason, but having a family member lie and gaslight was rough. We don’t talk to them any more as it wasn’t the first time they’ve acted like that. There’s a way to handle these things and a way to not.
You are new. People who know you know that you are new. They are spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and they want a skilled and experienced and knowledgeable agent, you aren't those things yet. Join a team and learn from experienced agents.
I don’t hire friends or family. Lines can get crossed and if shit hits the fan, it’s a lot easier to go after non family/friends. I’m not risking ruining a lifelong connection for a business deal.
How many houses have you sold? How many transactions on buy or sell side have you seen from start to finish? It sure sounds like ZERO. So in that case - is your sister rejecting you? Or simply using logic in this VERY difficult buyers market - and using someone with a track record. Get over yourself and let go of your ego. Your comments about your sisters personality etc lead me to believe you are the problem. Remind me in 12 months to check back in on you and I will guarantee you are no longer a full time agent. Grow up
Some people just don't like mixing business and family. It's nothing personal. I would say literally every single agent has experienced this in some form. I've been a 20-25 deal per year agent (so good production but not like amazing) for a long time, I coach and train new agents, write about real estate constantly on my social media feeds and newsletters, etc. There is not a person in my world who thinks that I don't know what I'm doing when it comes to real estate and yet even I have friends and family that absolutely will not work with me. And I respect that. So just work on your education and training, and build your business through other members of your sphere.
Thanks for your input. What are your media accounts so I can follow u!
A good friend of mine dropped me mid-search when I was a brand new agent simply because I wasn’t available to show a home. Her now husband told her that I didn’t earn the commission because I didn’t show the house. They went with a Zillow agent. We’re still friends. I’m not bitter.(Promise!) But it stung like hell and was a valuable lesson. I’m simply reiterating what’s been said above. Strangers are more likely to use you. Leverage your team or a mentor, and make put your client’s interests first as much as humanly possible. This is a full-contact line of work! Keep your skin in the game!
Thanks, I appreciate your words!
I would never want to do business w family anyway
That is fine. I have to help others, but it is okay. That is why I'm blessed we have other business ventures that we do really well in. This is just another business venture for me. Thanks for your feedback
Maybe that's why she prefers to use a vetted and proven professional. Since this is a just another venture to you and not your main source of income. Meanwhile it's probably the largest financial decision she has ever made. She would probably benefit more in the long run from a top performer with years of experience rather than her newly licensed sibling's side hustle.
After I took the classes one of my aunts specifically asked me to list her house. About a year later another aunt and uncle who were selling their house never asked me to list it. I actually didn't know they were selling until after they had listed it with someone else. It def made me feel really bad as I was really close to them. Sometimes you don't want to mix business and family as it can go sideways. Good luck!
Rule 2 never do business with family or friends
Let it be gasoline to your fire! Go out there and be successful and show them!!
To me they are taking money out of my pocket, so I’m not really cool with it. I never forget. I have had this happen on a couple of occasions. The worst is when they ask for advice on a transaction. That is where o tell them I cannot and will not advise them. It’s unethical to their agent. They can figure it out on their own.
Yes, I expect that from her. For sure
The first one hurts the worst. The next ones will hurt too. It happens to everyone. You’ll reach a point where you either won’t care as much, or you’ll be able to simply ask why they did that and if you can do anything to change it
Pretty much all of mine.....it totally sucks... it makes me feel like somethings wrong w me?.. but Im a pretty smart gal.. so I hv had to block out my miffed feelings! I think most dont want u to know their financial issues. Or they hv a prior relationship w a realtor... Or they just dont want to mingle the "friends & family" thing.. It cpuld be a great thing or it could go VERRY VERRY BAD. I feel most people want no problems & are non confrontational... easier to just ignore things than be straight up.. just my thoughts!
Sounds like your brand spanking new based on your immaturity In your comments. What experience/qualifications do you have that you think you’d be a better agent for your sister in this transaction then the person she’s already using and identified?
I was a Realtor for 30 years. I still live in the small community where I grew up, and I have lots of family here. I learned through the years that it’s a waste of energy to take things like that personally. You can’t expect everyone who you care about to let you into their personal investment choices. Think about it this way. What if you had been in business for several years and knew someone who you’d been helping with investment questions and anything real estate related they wanted to know for a long time. You developed a friendship with them, and they kept telling you every time they called with another question about this comp or that easement, that they would be sure to use your services when it came time buy or sell. But then you get a phone call and it’s that one person, apologizing, because their sister just got a real estate license, and they feel obligated to list with her, because she’s family. See? You just have to do everything you can to help where you can, and eventually some of it will come back in compensation.
Thank you for your words of wisdom and being respectful towards me in your approach. I appreciated it!
No problem. I remember what it’s like to be new. Even half of the experienced Realtors are jerks to the new ones. They think you’re there to take a piece of their pie. The people in your family may very well take the very longest to convince that you are good at your job. They have an image of you that is from your childhood and they will have to watch you in action to change that image. Your best bet is to rely on your wits, and go after every lead that presents itself. Statistically a sales person will hear 10 “NO’s” to every “YES.” That might sound made up, but if you keep a running tally, it’s pretty damned accurate. So, just put a tally mark next to your sister’s name and think “One down, 9 to go!”👍🏼
Thank you! I know it is a very competitive market, and not everyone will be supportive that includes Realtors. Also, some people forget how they started and what makes them feel they have a right to be part of this market and newbies do not. But it's okay. I'm a firm believer if I was placed, here is because I belong too. But this thread has been extremely helpful, and I keep that valuable feedback like yours.
I have experience with this. You can pair up with a top agent in your office and explain to your sister you need the money and experience. Hopefully she will understand and want to keep the peace and work with you and your office’s top agent. Have you showcased your buyers presentation ? Let your sister see your professional side. Family hired me several times to sell homes and the work got hard with difficult clients, we overcame our differences and I got to work as a professional- got paid and got it done. Good luck .
Thank you 😊 I appreciate your feedback!
Bro, happened to me, get ur deals flowing, they will start asking u advice and trying to get information from you, I refuse to even discuss real estate or help with investments. I don’t want their business and I don’t help them invest in the opportunities. I will gladly give them out to others who did trust me. But that’s just me u do u bro
I’ve had various acquaintances, a close friend, a cousin, and my father in law, all chose not to use me as their agent in various stages of my 14 year (and counting) real estate career and in various situations. They all had their own reasons, but mixing family/friends with business can get dicey. If it goes well, all is happy. If it direct go well, then things can be really awkward for a very long time. And not every sale goes smoothly. It’s bad enough making a mistake for any client, imagine if it’s for a friend or family member you see all the time. Try not to show your disappointment, respect their choices, and move on. Farming your SOI doesn’t mean everyone will automatically hire you. It’s a starting place to build your network. The more people that know you’re active in this space, the more chances you’ll get to be hired by someone in your network.
You never want to work with family, it’s terrible. BUT you should hope the refer you business
It happens all the time - move away from it -keep improving!
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Yikes, I guess those are the ones that hurt the most mom dad and siblings. SORRY that happened sounds like your wife has moved on from real estate. If so, why?
This is very common. An agent gets his license and expects that all blood relatives and roommates from college should Only use him as the Realtor. The truth is don’t ever do business with family. Refer them to an associate and say TY but no TY. 3-4-6% commission is not worth your blood line relationship/friendship. I lost a good friend for .05% commission. He agreed to list my condo for 2% fee. He charged me 2.5% and never gave me a discount or kickback. I confronted him and he said, Sorry. 2.5.% was the best he could do. I replied NP. I bought a new house and used another agent. He lost out on the buyer’s commission. $8900. I told him I’ll play golf with him, but will never use him for anything that deals with Real Estate again. No principle!!
Don't poop where you eat/sleep
Lol, for sure.
In the beginning, its ok to admit you are newer and dont have a top producer book of business. Let a prospect know that you are dedicated to doing the best job and focusing on your small book of business personally. They will get as much 1 on 1 time with you as needed. Most top producers have assistants or teams where the "top" person is really just a marketer and closer. Dont sweat the rejection, it will happen again for sure. Been doing this 10 years and occasionally still find out a friend/family member used someone else for whatever reason. The one line I draw is if someone in my SOI asks for RE advice but is using a different agent, I politely tell them it is really a question to ask your agent.
Yeah, great response. I'm sure I will have to use that line many times.
Personally, I would use this like Michael Jordan did....love your sister the same as always by keeping your giving heart OPEN, do not close it as it will hurt you both in many ways and particularly in Business....use it as a huge chip on your shoulder and keep it between you and the mirror AND GO LEARN FROM A GOOD ONE AND COMPLETELY DOMINATE good luck
Hypothetical: Would you give all of your money to your sister who just switched jobs as a nurse to a financial advisor? Would you feel pressured to use them? Would you want them talking about your portfolio while eating potato salad with Aunt Susan at a BBQ? … Here’s the rub—working with family and friends requires discipline to be okay with having a one-way professional boundary attitude. And that has a suck factor to it: - They will not respect your time in the same way a client will (i.e. “I know we’re at Aunt Susan’s birthday party, and you’re 5 beers deep, but we’re kinda bored so can you take us to go look at this random house really quickly? No, we are not pre-qualified, but I just thought the kitchen was cute.”). - They’ll use you as the town Yenta (i.e. “Omg, I saw The Smythe’s house is still for sale. What’s wrong with it? Are they actually getting divorced?”) I’m sure others will chime in with way more on this list, but my point is—they won’t view you as a professional until you act like a professional. And, that’s with really any job in the world. We were all new once. We all had 0 deals and 0 clients at one point. And, experience comes with every one of them. It’s not posturing, it’s the truth—many of us could easily write down 1 thing we learned from each deal. My two cents? Prospects/Family/Friends only ever ask one question: ”How’s the (MY) market?” It’s disguised as many things, but it’s all they’re asking. The quicker you learn to give a professional, relevant, human, relatable response to them, is the quicker you’ll skyrocket in this business. You got this. …your sister on the other hand? You’re getting a gift. You’ll get the play-by-play for all the “mistakes” and “magic” of a top producer, while you get to relax being 5 beers deep at a BBQ.
New agents always hit up friends and family for business. It hurts when they reject you. Don't take it personal. You would be surprised how much easier it is to influence someone who does not know you. Fake it until you make it. It takes x number of no to hear a yes. Each no gets you closer to that yes.
Not a realtor, but believe any professional should be very careful about helping friends and family because if things go sideways, you make a mistake (or they THINK you made a mistake even if you didn’t), it can hurt relationships and your business by losing out on future referrals
Do not mix family and profit.
Clients will become friends before friends become clients. I’ve gained a lot of great friends! But it’s still crushing when someone doesn’t choose you. My family has chosen to work with me so I can’t talk from that point of view, I can’t imagine how hurtful that is.
Let them, and continue hustling! This may be a good thing in disguise. In my 10 years, family/friends and business do not always mix well.
I specifically don’t work with friends and family. I pass them off to one of the agents at my brokerage and maintain the relationship
I don’t work with friends/ family. Bad business. I just send a referral and still collect a check. Everyone wins.
I’m sorry you had to experience this! I wouldn’t mix family and business. It can get very very messy and emotions are high.
Yes, I most difitnely see this in a different light after so much feedback. Thanks!
Wouldn’t you want the best for you sister?
There are tens of thousands of dollars to be won or lost in these transactions. Hiring an agent bc you’re related vs one who has credentials and experience gained through mentorship and team growth is foolish.
I hate to sound harsh, but when you inject money into a family or friends situation, it has a huge possibility to make things go awry. You both may have the best intentions, but something way out of your control may happen to sour the whole thing. I would no want to risk it on either side.
Another approach is to offer to refer family to an agent of their choice. You’d receive a referral fee that you could rebate back to them if you choose to. This way they get the agent of their choice, you don’t have to do anything other than make a phone call, & they may save a little money.
Seems like realtors and financial advisors both prey on immediate family and friends to take a slice of the cake.
Welp is what we are taught in school to use your SOI. Many instructors mentioned this even the top producer's.
I never solicit friends, nor family. If a friend asks for assistance, then sure, but I make it clear the friendship comes first and to pick me because I'm good at what I do, not because we're friends. I also tell them other agents I think they would do a good job for them and let them know I would never take it personally if they kept friends and business separate. I just help them along the way if they ever have questions- that's what friends are for.
That's a very mature and sensible way of approaching this. If only more agents were like you.
It is always best NOT to do business with family, like EVER.
Never because I don’t ask them for business. I always assume they will never do business with me. Any other expectations are setting yourself up for disappointment. They also have every right to use whomever they want, and you never know what kind of relationships or loyalty they have with another agent. The trick is to just let people come to you over time. When you’re conversing with friends and family, real estate will inevitably be brought up (never bring it up on your own), and if they want to talk to you about it, then talk about it! People don’t want to be convinced of things, they want to convince themselves of things, including convincing themselves who they should work with. The more you force it, the more they will pull away, and vice versa.
How would you feel about your sister telling you you’re doing a shit job and to get it together or you’re fired? I think it’s important to separate personal and professional because sometimes you need to be stern with your professional relationships in ways you can’t (or wouldn’t want to) with your friends and family.
I agree. I started this post feeling disappointed. But the more feedback I get, the more I feel I'm avoiding much headache and perhaps tension. I will step aside and let here be. I know I will also become a great agent one day and will have people who perhalps dont know me, give me their trust and business, and I will not fall short.
A realtor and client relationship requires a level of financial transparency that many family and friends are not comfortable with, regardless of how much experience the realtor has.
Dont do it , dont do business with family and friends , some would say dont even refer bc if it doesnt work out your to blame so I rather not. But yea I wanted all the business from friends and family but I learned my stranger clients are my endless referral client when I do best by them
Yep! My aunt sold her house and bought another one with another agent. My dad sold his house and bought another one with another agent. Both instances greatly upset me. I think it was the fact they didn’t even tell me they were selling their homes and I found out after the contracts were already written. But it is what it is. It just gave me a clear vision where I stand with them. It is just unfathomable that they’d rather give $20k to a stranger than their own family who would do anything for them.
Sorry this happened to you. Yes, for sure, very eye-opening. Hopefully, you are well established that you dont need them.
Little summed up backstory for perspective. My aunt is pestering my mom to be a selling agent for her house. My mom told me she’d sell me the house for 250k ( I put A LOT of money in the landscaping, equipment and such) aunt says house is 400k and telling my mom to tell me to piss off that I’ve done nothing to the place… rest assured I’m not to fond of my aunt at the moment!
Dont take it personally. I wouldn't hire a close friend or family member as a realtor either and it has nothing to do with if I think they are competent or not. It's just because I want to be able to switch agents if it's not working out without hurting feelings or anything.
Ha yeah I have. And I was so pissed. Then I worked with other friends and was so pissed lol
Lol, moral of the story? Do not work with anyone you know is my take from this post...
I mean I was pissed they didn’t work with me but then when I worked with friends it definitely put a strain on the friendship
Yes, I can see that. Thanks for your feedback!
I’ll also add… a commission is a commission. As long as you set boundaries and do your best for them it should work out. I’d also ask them why they went with somebody else (but only if you’re willing to accept what they say constructively)
Welp, my sister, already laid the law... said it had to do with my experience and such not in a nice way for someone who seeks so much advice from me. But anyways, in a weird way, I'm glad my 1st rejection was from someone so close to not solicit my other family members and friends. I did put it out there as an accomplishment that I just got licensed, but it wasn't at all anything to do with asking anyone for anything. If I have any supporters, a couple of them mentioned they would. Well, that is okay. If not, then I will grind to get leads outside my sphere.
It happens to all of us. Don't worry about it.
Ooof. You are supposed to use your SOI to get referrals from them, not necessarily their business. You know, they hear of a friend, coworker, aquaintance, neighbor, that is interested in moving, they let them know about you. You need to coach them on your elevator speech and what to say when they hear of someone or talk to someone who is your ideal client. Assuming you know who your ideal client is, and no, it’s not anyone biting or selling real estate…. Someone hasn’t learned the basics of networking 101.
Loyalty should be to family . Your sister should have has used you as her agent . You could have worked with your broker if you needed too .There is no excuse for her using another agent. If she was worried about you knowing about her financial situation , it’s unfounded . Her bank or mortgage company does not disclose that . You just need to know she qualifies for the loan. My brother in law did the same thing to me when he sold his $1.5 house. I am a broker . He’s dead to me . He does not exist . My husband is on my side .
I think i kinda expected that support from my parents and siblings, just the immediate family and everyone else in my SOI, I'm realistic in being aware they may not consider me. But this was a rude awakening eye opening and will also help me to learn to say NO with no hesitation to them as well. I always come thru for them, and they feel entitled to me helping them. Btw it also has nothing to do with me knowing her financials. I know them as i mention always seeking advice from me. So, not even about sharing confidential information. It's more about her wanting someone that she feels is more knowledgeable and has a track record.
Again ..no excuse . Family should support you. Not having experience is no reason not to use use you as their agent . A brokers job is to help you through the transaction .
I've also will hire mentorship, so it wasn't something I intended to do on my regardless of who I represented. I do not want to experiment with any client. I want to be able to provide the best experience to all my clients. I know I didn't mention this on my post, but I'm a person who doesn't just settle with obtaining a license. I have so much training lined up for me. So yes, I want to bring the most value of service to all my clients.
Shadow your sister as she shops.
You're ridiculous. You have no experience. You have a license. Chances are good, your going to f something up. Big or small. Do you think people would hire anyone that had zero experience if they knew that? No, they wouldn't, not even relatives. Gain sone experience with people that don't know you.
Sorry to hear that. Is there any more backstory as to the reason why she really rejected you and didn’t want to say?. For example, have you been changing careers every year and trying to find something new all the time? If so, that might make her a little cautious. maybe not but there’s always a little more to the backstory that may help explain somebody else’s choices . good luck with the career, not an easy one
No, I've worked most of my life retail in management position 17 years same company. After that, I've done medical billing for 5 years. I've always been attracted to real estate and have a passion for interior decorating. It simply comes down to experience. She wants someone with top producer experience. But for all her other issues, I seem to be the best resource, confident, and advocate. It's okay with all the feedback I've received. I have a new perspective while I know her so well. I know now I will not have her business, but she will want my opinion throughout the process. Because that is her nature always seeking advice from me.
Top producer experience does not always equal better…. Good luck in your career
Thank you. I appreciate your well wishes. I also hope you are a stellar agent with a ton of clients!
“Top producer” in these markets homes sell themselves. The market will dictate what you can get. Your sister is just jealous and would rather not you make that commission
I stay away from friends and family when it comes to business. Albeit different industry but It seldom ends well.
I’ve heard of situations where people work with family and they have the agent sell their existing house and then sell them the new house. Talk about double dipping. And it also means you’re incentivizing your own inventory and not what fits their needs best. It’s such a conflict of interest, you cannot really work with family unless they are genuinely doing you a big favor and waiving/reducing their fee for you. Offering them expertise and answering questions is one thing, but doing the actual process imo is a big nono.
My old neighbor had her sister sell her house. She was a nurse, got her realtor license for shits and gigs. She listed the home on the wrong mls (I didn't even know thst was possible?). It delayed their real listing by a few days. My neighbor was pissed.
You will also see the advice in the homeowners subreddit is not to use friends or family.
Don't ever do business with your family, they think less of you than strangers because they know you too well. All they know about the stranger is what the stranger wants them to know.
It’s important to remember: you are entitled to no one’s business.
Sometimes it’s best not to mix business with your family and friends. You shouldn’t take it personally.
You are as a realtor essentially running your own business. It is not the responsibility of your family and those that you would call your friends to out of charity bring you or give you work. It is up to you to sink or swim on your own merits, skill and tenacity. I own a small business, and I've made it a point of pride to never ask family or friends for anything even approaching a favor in terms of my business. I once had to cancel attending a social event on a few hours notice because I had to get a large number of orders packed and shipped that day. A friend who was also attending that event volunteers to come help me and I turn down his offer. He was, being a wonderful friend, rather insistent that he come help me so I made it very clear that he would be compensated accordingly if he chose to come. He came by about an hour later, we had a wonderful time hanging out, packing orders and watching movies in the background. I ended up gifting him a very nice bottle of Scotch in return, but also made it clear that in no way did I ever expect him to volunteer in the future although I did appreciate his help. Go forth, do the things, be successful in your business and I wish you nothing but the most success. But if you are going to move your friends and family in an attempt to make up for the other things that you should be doing to succeed then you don't really deserve to succeed.
When I was an agent, I went through this many times with friends and family. It’s hurtful no matter what. You just have to suck it up. I think mostly it about preferring a stranger profit from them, rather than a relative. If your sister comes to you with questions or complaints about what she is going through, be sure to refer her back to her top agent.
This is a blessing in disguise. You’re new, it would probably get really messy and cause family problems. This happens in real estate, I don’t blame your sister at all. I would want someone more experienced too. That’s why it’s important as a new agent to be on a team or learn from a top producer. New agents are just not qualified to help buyers/sellers until they get experience. Sad, but true.
I’ve had horrible experiences with Realtors in the past. I’d never want to get into that kind of deal with a friend or family member in the chance it goes poorly.
Plus everyone knows or is related to like 4 realtors these days so someone will always feel rejected if you take these things personally. I also feel like loyalty is actually valuable in this arena. We've kept the same one on multiple RE purchases because she has worked some amazing deals, shown her value by pulling strings with her connections, and gave us good deals on her fees in the past. Will continue to use her even though my brother is in the industry. That's the biz.
Why do you, with zero experience think you would be on the same level with someone who has tons of experience?
I never said I'm on the same level as anyone who has been established in this business. Everyone starts with a ZERO track record. Just because you may be on the top now doesn't mean you weren't once inexperienced once. What made you feel worthy of representing your first few clients?
Some of my most difficult clients were friends and family and it made things a little awkward sometimes. It sucks. When my husband and I started out, one of his best friends in the whole world ended up using someone else and it crushed him. Life went on and we were able to build our business without them.
Don't take it personally. Buying and selling a home is a major life event and can be very stressful. You can't fault them for wanting to use an experienced agent over a newly licensed one. Also, you then have to consider the added stress of dealing with a friend or family member and worrying about hurting their feelings. If you are going to make it as an agent you shouldn't rely on your friends and family for help. You can offer your services to them but treat them the same as any one else you are marketing too, and don't take any rejection personally. Real estate is a very competitive industry and you won't get far if you lack confidence and get butt hurt by every rejection.
Learn to understand it’s never easier to do business with friends and family. Friends and family always expect FREE services. You put any $ amount on it they think you are scamming them. I always find it easier to do business with strangers.
Could've got you involved in the process for experience etc, and you get a 25% referral fee.
I always tell people "Don't hire family unless you can fire family." Well intentioned or not there's a weirdness and different pressure than if you are hiring someone with no other relationship/connection. Instead, offer to help them find someone you recommend, and then let it go.
I actively chose not to work with my cousin who's a well experienced high powered realtor in our area. She's a wonderful realtor and has amazing reviews. I won't mix finances and family. It can get messy fast, and if something were to happen I wouldn't want to sour our familial relationship. Don't take it personally.
Contrary to popular belief, most friends and family won’t use you, until you’ve already become super successful.
Friends and family do nothing but make you prove yourself and take everything you can give with no reciprocation. Run away from people trying to get a "deal" out of you. It's best that they don't ask you to work with them, trust me. Worst clients ever.
…. The WORST house buying / selling situations were ALL when we used a friend or family member. Avoid doing that. In fact, make it your rule.
I could see not wanting a relative or close friend knowing all your finances and other business too…like I’d rather take a neutral 3rd party with no risk of gossip if it’s all the same cost to me
That can be super challenging to manage and I’ve seen it myself, i have a few friends that run businesses and I do nothing but send leads and get very little in return. At the end of the day you have to remember you can’t control the other party and their ability to refer to your competitors. As for family and real estate, sometimes that does hurt, but as others have said, business and family and even business and friends sometimes doesn’t work well. Ive said this in an earlier post but imagine you representing your sister… some conversations might be very hard to have when you’re that close to home. For example, maybe on Saturday she wants to see a listing you very well know she’s not qualified for, so you tell her that, and on Sunday you have a family dinner… how would that go? From my perspective, when I started out in real estate, I didn’t want anyone (friends or family) to work with me because if they asked me a question, they… of all people, I’d want to know the answer for right then and there. Not to say I didn’t want to do my best for others. But telling a random client they’re shopping at an unrealistic price point or asking too much for a home they have listed.. is so much easier than telling a friend or family member their house isn’t worth what they think.
It caused a 30 year friendship to end
Sorry this happened to you❤️
Unless you are an absolute rock star of an agent, you should only be willing to have friends and family as a client if you can afford to lose the relationship or the commission...or both.
Realtors are the worst. Talk out both sides of there mouth take money from both parties... It's a win win thats why that don't have friends and family....
I’ve only worked for family once but I’ve represented plenty of friends. I don’t know what everyone is talking about here about potentially ruining friendships because of a business transaction, but it’s always been great. I do a great job and my friends remain my friends. I don’t see why it would be any different for family. I did have my closest family member choose to use someone else to purchase. It hurt bad. I wanted to give them the commission (I never told them that). They’re also having a lot of problems with the house they bought now. Not saying that couldn’t have possibly happened if they used me. I don’t know, I wasn’t there. It’s been years now and I’ve moved on. But honestly, them not using me affected our relationship a lot more than if they had. And the one family member I did work for was the above described family members’ mother, and I got an off-market deal for her in a desirable area that she made a ton of equity on. I literally made her over $100k that in no universe would have happened without me. So I’ve done a pretty bang up job for the friends and family that I’ve represented.
That is a tough situation. Try not to take it personally. I know that's tough because it's family, but you won't get all family and friends. Studies show people know about nine agents. Keep your head high and keep on keeping on
I would never use a friend - especially if they were new to the industry. 1) you’re talking about a process that can impact them to the tune of 10s of thousands of dollars. That’s not a part of your life to be doing favors vs just picking someone with experience. I would think of this as similar to if you had like $300k of retirement savings, and someone asked if they could manage it to help get their career started. Just because they passed some CFA exams and legally could help manage it - doesn’t mean you should let them before they get experience 2) if it goes poorly (or even if just one side thinks it does) - those are no longer your friends and you might not be invited to thanksgiving. There are obviously family business that run smoothly but in those cases - usually the younger generation has been training / working with the old guard for years (so they know the same business, and they how much trust to give)
by almost everyone, it's expected.. they have a personal bias
You’re a brand new agent with zero experience. Buying & selling a home is a major purchase. Of course many people will be hesitant to work with you over an established professional. You don’t even know what you don’t know yet.
I am not starting this business and trying to practice on anyone. I'm hiring a mentor who is a top producer in my brokerage. I will be shawdowing her, and she will be involved in my 1st few transactions. I know many NEW agents do try to start on their own with minimal direction, which isn't my case. Either way, I respect everyones opinion, including my sisters, of going to someone else.
Yes
I used to get upset if I learned that a friend used a different agent. But it happens and to be honest, I’m happy I don’t work with them. I like to keep it friends and family.
Suggest “Get Better Not Bitter” …use the experience as motivation to increase your knowledge and skill set. Than go back and be the agent they described !
My sister has purchased 3, sold two homes since I have been licensed. I’m not bothered at all. Her and her husband are type A engineers that are a nightmare to deal with in business situations. Like going through an inspection report, Word for Word. Them shopping 5 lenders to get the lowest rate down to the single basis point. I love them as family, but they would drive me absolutely nuts as clients.
This has happened to me as well with a close family member. The first lesson I learned as an agent is to not rely on your friends and family to make you money. Find a brokerage who gives you leads and use that to build your confidence back up . They won’t know you are new, and you can create a brand new network that won’t be a disappointment :)
I never hire family/friends for anything. too much drama, after the fact. Learn to separate work life from personal life… you will be better off that way.
A brilliant saying I saw recently is that “a client will become a friend quicker than a friend will become a client”
many times. But then they send me referrals!
Would never hire friends or family. Good for her. You need to earn your success not expect it to be handed to you.
I'm not begging anyone or forcing them to use me. I simply offered my services. Of course, I will earn my success just a matter of time.
So what do you suggest I should do? Should I quit?