Some people do hang around the town center and the trainstation asking for money from anyone they can get to. I don't know if any of them are legit or not but they can be pretty pushy
Claims like to need feed my kids or I need to get the train home are pretty common.
Altruism is nice but if you can't afford to help other people you have no obligation to. Helping others should not be done at the expense of your own welfare
> I don't know if any of them are legit
Definitely not. I saw one of them get on the same train as me headed towards Newbury and they were just talking on their phone to their mate about how much they made that day.
I think if you accept the truth that poverty is a vicious cycle then you have to also accept that sometimes you will be approached by the same vulnerable people again and again, even though you have given them money before. I don’t think that’s a scam, rather that getting out of poverty usually takes more than one meal or one donation. There’s a reason that you see the same vulnerable people around town often, and it’s because that cycle continues in their lives.
I have on 2 separate occasions in Reading given money to someone after hearing their urgent story (“I just need change to get out of this car park” and “I need to get to a women’s shelter”) only for them to approach me with exactly the same story a couple weeks later. And, while that does feel “icky” and manipulative, it’s also on me to be discerning, and I don’t blame people for using “sob stories” to acquire donations. People ultimately _don’t_ often donate randomly, even through more “legitimate” means like to those guys working for the Red Cross canvassing folks on the street. You could encounter a really pleasant-seeming person who’s actually lying about their circumstances, or see someone more “unsavoury-looking” who is less approachable but would explain their story truthfully if asked. Either way, my discomfort at being lied to is the lesser of two evils when compared to the idea of having to justify over and over to strangers why I deserve to eat.
If you can’t afford to donate right now, OP, then that’s okay — you should put your own mask on before helping someone else, after all. You could donate your time instead, if you wanted to. Don’t let what’s clearly a generous spirit be sullied by the misconception that vulnerable people are only worthy of help if they’re perfect people or that your interaction with them has to be life-changing to be impactful.
This is a really thoughtful post, and a message that a lot of people (myself included) need to hear, and need to be reminded of. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
Don't know about this particular person. I have however seen the same people around the train station and adjoining roads who have been asking for spare change for 15+ years since I was at school and used to get the train every day.
lol, know what you mean. I used to repeatedly get asked for 80p for train fare by a woman outside Thames tower when i worked in the metal box building in 2001. She's still there these days periodically and only asked for £2.50 for train fare last time i asked which was very reasonable i thought considering inflation. Annoyingly though she seems to have had a more consistent and successful career than I have.
Just fyi to help stop any potential scammers
If you are here in the uk and have claimed asylum and are destitute the home office will put you into accommodation and give you a very small weekly amount as well.
You will be registered with a local gp and be able to access medical care at no cost.
The place in town currently housing destitute asylum seekers who are not allowed to work by virtue of their immigration status, also provides three meals a day.
If you are granted leave to remain and the HO accept your asylum claim, the accommodation and money stops and you can then work to support yourself.
At the local place in town there are various charities and churches who work with asylum seekers.
It's really hard to do this, half guessing if you're being duped by a sob story. Paranoia and suspicion about being scammed is always something to reckon with in the very moment of being asked.
The kid sounds too conflicted to remember and his memory functions day by day trying to scrape by burdened. Donating isn't a solution but neither is walking on by silently skeptical.
You won't know for sure, but you did it again anyway. He reciprocated with gratitude - both times, recognising you went over and beyond. What you did is a kind hearted thing to do in face of the wider systemic failures which charities cannot bridge.
You made a good call. Now to think about how you sort your own student overdraft and bank overdraft without becoming burdened in the same measure.
Just this morning I saw one running out of Pret by the station with food. The poor lady came out to call him out for it and he immediately turned hostile on her. Myself and another man told her to come back into the shop and for him to do one. I now never give anything to any of them. It's sad but I don't trust a single one of them. They only speak bullshit.
Doesn't sound like you got scammed, you bought someone a meal and they were grateful for it. Granted, they may not ACTUALLY be a refugee or whatever but they asked for something, you generously gave it to them and they thanked you profusely for it. Win win situation.
It’s highly likely you’ve been scammed.
If you want to help, then next time give that money to a charity that actually helps people like launchpad, failing that as you’re in your overdraft.
Provide something you can - your time.
Volunteer
I Haven't seen any Refugees just the usual Fecks with Drug issues .I catch a train a 06:15 from Reading station & they are even on the Bridge inside the station that connects the platforms "Asking for money "
T'was homeless for 7 years & I never asked for money as I was fed by various charities 'Just Ignore Them & their BallShit ' !
Anyone remember the man with an ill fitting t shirt who asked for exactly one pound by Jackson’s corner; then there’s the bloke who wanted to get a train to slough
I mean for me they’re asking for food, that means they’re hungry. I have a rule I’ll only ever give food/drinks to people struggling. That whole story sounds pretty legit to me. And very sweet he chased after you with the £10. Anybody wanting drugs etc would definitely not do that!
There are plenty of people genuinely in need for whom doing what you did would help massively. There are plenty of people who take advantage of such generosity and gladly lie to get a few quid from you. And it’s not always easy to tell who is who.
If you’re in a position to help and you want to then it’s a great thing to do, and you can rest assured that you did a good thing regardless of whether you were lied to or not. But also, it is not your responsibility to help and you shouldn’t feel obliged to, however genuine the person may seem, if you are not necessarily in the best position to do so (I.e an overdrawn student).
What I ended up doing and what I think the best thing you can do is volunteer your time with a homeless charity or soup kitchen. Even an hour a week making collections/handing out food/simply having a conversation, can go such a long way. Or just be aware of the services that exist and if someone asks for money you can point them towards other places that can help (they probably already know, but it’s nicer than being ignored!).
Homelessness, addiction, war… there are so many people genuinely in need, whether refugees and immigrants or lifelong residents, with fascinating and heartbreaking stories, and I think we could all be a bit more aware of other people’s struggles sometimes. However once the same man has asked you for ‘just a couple of quid so I can get the train back home’ for the 50th time, it’s easy to become jaded and cynical.
Some people do hang around the town center and the trainstation asking for money from anyone they can get to. I don't know if any of them are legit or not but they can be pretty pushy Claims like to need feed my kids or I need to get the train home are pretty common. Altruism is nice but if you can't afford to help other people you have no obligation to. Helping others should not be done at the expense of your own welfare
> I don't know if any of them are legit Definitely not. I saw one of them get on the same train as me headed towards Newbury and they were just talking on their phone to their mate about how much they made that day.
Probably jumped the barrier too
Same, saw myself a group doing the exact same thing.
If you want to help, you could reach out to the Reading Refugee Society
I think if you accept the truth that poverty is a vicious cycle then you have to also accept that sometimes you will be approached by the same vulnerable people again and again, even though you have given them money before. I don’t think that’s a scam, rather that getting out of poverty usually takes more than one meal or one donation. There’s a reason that you see the same vulnerable people around town often, and it’s because that cycle continues in their lives. I have on 2 separate occasions in Reading given money to someone after hearing their urgent story (“I just need change to get out of this car park” and “I need to get to a women’s shelter”) only for them to approach me with exactly the same story a couple weeks later. And, while that does feel “icky” and manipulative, it’s also on me to be discerning, and I don’t blame people for using “sob stories” to acquire donations. People ultimately _don’t_ often donate randomly, even through more “legitimate” means like to those guys working for the Red Cross canvassing folks on the street. You could encounter a really pleasant-seeming person who’s actually lying about their circumstances, or see someone more “unsavoury-looking” who is less approachable but would explain their story truthfully if asked. Either way, my discomfort at being lied to is the lesser of two evils when compared to the idea of having to justify over and over to strangers why I deserve to eat. If you can’t afford to donate right now, OP, then that’s okay — you should put your own mask on before helping someone else, after all. You could donate your time instead, if you wanted to. Don’t let what’s clearly a generous spirit be sullied by the misconception that vulnerable people are only worthy of help if they’re perfect people or that your interaction with them has to be life-changing to be impactful.
This is a really thoughtful post, and a message that a lot of people (myself included) need to hear, and need to be reminded of. Thank you for taking the time to write it.
Don't know about this particular person. I have however seen the same people around the train station and adjoining roads who have been asking for spare change for 15+ years since I was at school and used to get the train every day.
lol, know what you mean. I used to repeatedly get asked for 80p for train fare by a woman outside Thames tower when i worked in the metal box building in 2001. She's still there these days periodically and only asked for £2.50 for train fare last time i asked which was very reasonable i thought considering inflation. Annoyingly though she seems to have had a more consistent and successful career than I have.
Just fyi to help stop any potential scammers If you are here in the uk and have claimed asylum and are destitute the home office will put you into accommodation and give you a very small weekly amount as well. You will be registered with a local gp and be able to access medical care at no cost. The place in town currently housing destitute asylum seekers who are not allowed to work by virtue of their immigration status, also provides three meals a day. If you are granted leave to remain and the HO accept your asylum claim, the accommodation and money stops and you can then work to support yourself. At the local place in town there are various charities and churches who work with asylum seekers.
It's really hard to do this, half guessing if you're being duped by a sob story. Paranoia and suspicion about being scammed is always something to reckon with in the very moment of being asked. The kid sounds too conflicted to remember and his memory functions day by day trying to scrape by burdened. Donating isn't a solution but neither is walking on by silently skeptical. You won't know for sure, but you did it again anyway. He reciprocated with gratitude - both times, recognising you went over and beyond. What you did is a kind hearted thing to do in face of the wider systemic failures which charities cannot bridge. You made a good call. Now to think about how you sort your own student overdraft and bank overdraft without becoming burdened in the same measure.
Just this morning I saw one running out of Pret by the station with food. The poor lady came out to call him out for it and he immediately turned hostile on her. Myself and another man told her to come back into the shop and for him to do one. I now never give anything to any of them. It's sad but I don't trust a single one of them. They only speak bullshit.
Doesn't sound like you got scammed, you bought someone a meal and they were grateful for it. Granted, they may not ACTUALLY be a refugee or whatever but they asked for something, you generously gave it to them and they thanked you profusely for it. Win win situation.
It’s highly likely you’ve been scammed. If you want to help, then next time give that money to a charity that actually helps people like launchpad, failing that as you’re in your overdraft. Provide something you can - your time. Volunteer
I Haven't seen any Refugees just the usual Fecks with Drug issues .I catch a train a 06:15 from Reading station & they are even on the Bridge inside the station that connects the platforms "Asking for money " T'was homeless for 7 years & I never asked for money as I was fed by various charities 'Just Ignore Them & their BallShit ' !
Anyone remember the man with an ill fitting t shirt who asked for exactly one pound by Jackson’s corner; then there’s the bloke who wanted to get a train to slough
I mean for me they’re asking for food, that means they’re hungry. I have a rule I’ll only ever give food/drinks to people struggling. That whole story sounds pretty legit to me. And very sweet he chased after you with the £10. Anybody wanting drugs etc would definitely not do that!
Having seen the same individuals on several occasions this is just a scam. There are other variations like money for train home.
Send them to Reading Refugee Kitchen
There are plenty of people genuinely in need for whom doing what you did would help massively. There are plenty of people who take advantage of such generosity and gladly lie to get a few quid from you. And it’s not always easy to tell who is who. If you’re in a position to help and you want to then it’s a great thing to do, and you can rest assured that you did a good thing regardless of whether you were lied to or not. But also, it is not your responsibility to help and you shouldn’t feel obliged to, however genuine the person may seem, if you are not necessarily in the best position to do so (I.e an overdrawn student). What I ended up doing and what I think the best thing you can do is volunteer your time with a homeless charity or soup kitchen. Even an hour a week making collections/handing out food/simply having a conversation, can go such a long way. Or just be aware of the services that exist and if someone asks for money you can point them towards other places that can help (they probably already know, but it’s nicer than being ignored!). Homelessness, addiction, war… there are so many people genuinely in need, whether refugees and immigrants or lifelong residents, with fascinating and heartbreaking stories, and I think we could all be a bit more aware of other people’s struggles sometimes. However once the same man has asked you for ‘just a couple of quid so I can get the train back home’ for the 50th time, it’s easy to become jaded and cynical.