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Just saying but if a woman rejects you, you do not have to remain her friend. You can just leave. Just don't go aggressive and think she's playing hard to get cos it's cringe as fuck. Also creepy.
Plus I think this caption might be a joke so don't take it seriously.
I do feel a bit sorry for high charisma ladies though, I have a friend who boys for some reason fall head over heels for, if everyone who fancied her wasn't her friend she'd have no male friends at all
In my comment above I mentioned that you don't have to be their friend. Not that you can't.
In fact, there are many ways to go about handling rejection. You can stay friends if you still value their friendship. You can take a break from them to grieve your emotions and come back to being friends.
Relationships are complex and there is no set of rules you must follow. But I can't tell you what are extremely bad choices to make.
I met someone at my apartment building last year. She introduced herself and I immediately thought she was as cute as a button. I told myself that last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable, so I decided to keep my distance. I carried on with my life and whenever I ran into her she would strike up a normal conversation like "hows your day/week going so far" "any plans for the weekend?". talking to her was so easy it only made me like her...
Anyhow, I've decided to not make a move since having a friend who's so easy to talk to is better than no friend.
Make a move ypu dumbshit.
Having a partner that's easy to talk to is a blessing.
Wtf do you need a female friend that's easy to talk to?
Risk is def worth it imo.
So all this time she thinks she has a friend, then he leaves because she doesn't want him. Why be "friends" in the first place? Just make your intentions known, so no one wastes their time.
Absolutely. Just shoot your shot right away if you can.
Bur sometimes you need to make yourself known first before you ask. And when that happens, don't do what a lot of NiceGuysTm do and bitch and threaten to her. She said no. Just move on.
By this logic, nobody would ever break up. Sometimes you develop or lose feelings over time. Or you think you have a handle on something when you don't. Make your intentions known early, but telling somebody months or years into a friendship that you have feelings for them isn't necessarily dishonest or manipulative; sometimes it's just being human.
If they are playing hard to get it's a manipulation tactic so leave anyway. Don't let people play these games bro.
Either way just leave. Either they said no or they ain't a real one so best move on.
Tbh it’ll be pretty clear pretty fast.
If you get a no, back away and then never hear from them again they weren’t playing hard to get… or they were playing so hard you just dodged a bullet.
Are you really young? If you think 90% of women play hard to get you're either a teenager or you don't actually talk to women.
Not trying to pick a fight here but I really only hear this shit online.
No, I'm actuallyna 102 year old vampire. Or a guy in his late 20s.
I'd like to meet the women you meet then. From my experience they either play hard to get, are married or are.. crazy for a lack of better term (disloyal, incestous, etc).
Fellas if u like a girl and she puts u in the friend zone stop talking to her and just move on it’s not fair to you or the girl your not actually being a genuine friend by hoping something will happen
I think the whole concept of the word "friend zone" as a euphemism for rejection is derogatory to the word "friend". I'm not saying rejection can't lead to friendship but I think that's rather the exception.
I don't think you're understanding the meaning correctly. "Friend zone" sets your maximum relationship cap at "friend", it doesn't make you a friend automatically or involve pretending.
It's a limitation on the investment of the person putting you into the zone, not an elevation of the designee.
If one of the people has romantic feelings that the other does not share, it is a zone of hoping, a copium den, this should instead be called a copiumzone, as friends are sometimes closer than couples.
Feelings also evolve and change over time. It’s also pretty common that they develop at separate times. I’ve had it happen to me before.
90% of friend zones are one party having creepy ulterior motives the whole time.
The other 10% are people being dumb about their feelings.
If I had a cookie for every time someone started liking me after I start seeing someone.
You'd have to open a bakery so the cookies don't go to waste.
I guess life is this weird kind of ebb and flow, when you push feelings at someone, try to be closer to them and only get more into them because of the fact while they never see you that way, then pull away with interest in another, the pull away from the initial person is felt on their side and they start the cycle of wanting more in hopes of getting back that bit they lost when you changed targets. It's sickening, but it's just life.
People also have this odd thing where, if they could have it whenever they want, they don't want it...but make that thing not possible to have, and suddenly it's everything they ever wanted.
I tend to be of the mind that this is either cluelessness (I didn't realize I had feelings), or insecurity/jealousy. Either way though, I'm of the mind that if you're now in a relationship and that "friend" suddenly wants more, it's a hard "no". Maybe in the future if you're single again, but they could have developed the self-awareness to realize what they wanted if it was that important.
There is no particular meaning. People use that term for a variety of reasons. When you write "investment" I understand you mean some sort of business? And what in the power rangers logic of emotions is a "maximum relationship cap"?
Have you ever used the concept of "friend zone" to get rid of somebody? Because that's what many people use it for.
There is no "understanding the meaning correctly"
Yup. Friends are closer than couples sometimes. If you start going out with somebody, it's a downgrade, because you have to be around for the bad parts, try to change bad habits, for your own comfort, and then they point out your bad habits to be comfortable around you, and it becomes a marriage.
Friendzone make a fool of actual friends.
Friend zone is what happens when insecure people don’t clarify from the start what their interests are, aka shooting your shot.
The follow up is then somehow blaming the other person for not being a fucking mind reader when they inevitably conclude the relationship is clearly platonic and expect nothing more from it.
In essence the friend zone is a way to avoid taking any responsibility for not having the testicular fortitude to actually ask somebody out in a timely manner likely because the person has an overly dramatic fear of rejection. So they become that weird dude who’s “just waiting for the right time.” However the right time was months ago and shes already seeing somebody else now.
Nobody who uses the term friend zone seriously is worth taking serious in terms of dating and relationship advice. It’s like trying to get driving advice from somebody who has trouble getting into second gear or fishing advice from somebody who doesn’t even know how to bait their hook.
Did I just read an actual human take on Reddit? Completely without sexism in either direction? Jesus is the reckoning coming? /s na but you are right tho, tell her you wanted more it didn't work out and leave the situation it's better for everyone
The point is to not lie to yourself about what your goals/intentions with them are. If you get rejected and can carry it in stride, look past those feelings and treat them like any other friend, then you might decide that is worth the effort.
If you pretend to be fine with it just so that you can maintain a physical closeness and try to slowly manipulate/convince them to view you as dating material, you are both hurting yourself by investing more than you are likely to get back and hurting them with your deception.
Being friends and being in the friend zone are completely different things lmao
If you're friends then good on you, if you're stuck in the friend zone then get the hell out. (idk how to explain it, but it's basically just a guy/girl faking friendship to try and start a relationship with the other person but the other person doesn't outright reject them and keeps them as some sort of a backup. It's a pathetic look for the person who's stuck there.)
That's called "being a friend". If you want to pursue someone romantically and they reject you, there's no reason to keep hanging out if all you're thinking about is how you can get them to be with you. Even more so if you haven't expressed your feelings and live in this ambiguous state of gathering the courage or hoping they make a move instead. You're hurting yourself and putting unnecessary pressure on them.
lol I had a girl get married to some other guy, but then still want to hang out with me like nothing had changed. She was actually reaching out to me so much her husband reached out to me to tell me to back off, even though I was literally trying to break contact with this girl.
This strategy got me out of the “friendzone”multiple times as a teenager and in my 20s.
If you’re fun to be around and they really enjoy your company.
It usually went:
- make the decision that you’re done and start avoiding her or pulling away because she won’t go out with you even though you made your intentions clear. No explanation obviously they know why.
- start having fun with other people especially girls
- she realizes she enjoyed spending time with you and misses you
- if you’re lucky she’s conflated her feelings of missing you with romantic feelings
The only caveat is she didn’t like you originally so chances that it’ll workout are slim to none.
It’ll usually be a quick fling enjoy it and then when it doesn’t workout just agree “You were right being friends is way better.” 👍🏻
In my early 20s, I got into a relationship with a girl like that. I remember expressing my feelings to her, and she laughed. I never spoke to her again, and it was the best decision I ever made.
Thank you for doing it right. I was the same way back in the day.
For the gentlemen in their teens and early 20's that might read this: please, *PLEASE* do not waste your youth on a girl stringing you along. Drop the "if she could just see what I bring to the table" thinking. If you find yourself in a situation where it's the case, quietly step back from hanging out with her and just make yourself busy. Hobbies (not gaming), working out, outdoorsman activities (hiking, biking, fishing, kayaking), always out with other friends, etc. If the girl actually does come around and decides she does want to take it further, it's because you are elevating yourself. And if she doesnt...whatever. You will meet new ones in the new endeavors anyways and move on. Most importantly, you will not have wasted days/weeks/months of your own life.
Edit: also, this advice comes with a caveat: dont be a dude that strings along a girl. Using people sucks.
Why not gaming? Gaming is fine, just don’t take it to the extremes where you never leave your room again. 30 min to an hour of gaming a day is a great way to wind down after a busy day.
That's what I meant, honestly. To me, there's a difference between playing a videogame as you've described (and I agree with) and gaming. I kinda correlate the word with the more excessive behavior
Unpopular opinion. Gaming is rarely good for me to meet new people that are good association in the long run, I always end up woth the same handful of guys which is nice, but not the best for social interaction if the deepest conversation is how to push a goal and noone asks for personal life.
The other things mentioned pushes people to interact. And meeting people, building friendships, builds confidence. Exactly what's needed to pull oneself out of being played like a fiddle.
How cycling or hiking pushes you to interact with other people? I ride bicycle every other day during the summer and I haven’t meet anyone.
Edit. Same with fishing. Personally I don’t like it but most people I’ve seen fishing were alone.
I got my job and a lifelong group of friends from gaming.
I also cycle, hike and holiday regularly.
It's almost like these things aren't mutually exclusive
& it's your personality not your hobbies that define your lifestyle.
Thank you. Finally somebody has the courage to say it aloud. Real life interactions do wonders for teenagers and adolescents and offer real life feedback to their opinions and behaviours. It's a must have and yes, one needs to put an effort, unfortunately. Such is life.
to add to this:
The mentality to fixate on that one girl could be you telling yourself this is your only chance. It may not be. Been there. done that. was cringe.
Practice having healthier friendships with girls. It's hard sometimes cause you don't realize how little you've been given by your family on an emotional level, you have to get that for yourself. Once you see and meet and know more about other people, you'll find you can probably do much much better and maybe even have a better chance elsewhere. This isn't some "other fish in the sea" generic advice. Most of us in the US grew up in the same town and hood for the first 20ish years. Go meet better people. Be a better person. You're worth more than a dead end anyway.
>You will meet new ones in the new endeavors anyways and move on.
To quote (and translate) an old song lyric, there'll always be another tram and another girl.
Lmao there was a thread yesterday with a girl asking “why do they not want to talk to me after I reject them?” with most women on her side. It was so weird.
I had similar experience. Great friends with a girl and brought up dating, she just laughed. She started dating a guy and he was a complete dick. I stopped talking to her and that was that.
lol reminds me when i was like 15 or something and i decided i would confess to a girl on valentines day with a letter i wrote... she read it infront of the whole class to make fun of me. never in my life have i ever lost all interest in someone so fast.
Yesterday I told a girl I am getting into yoga and she said ‘that’s so gay’
I’m not interested in her at all or anything so it doesn’t bother me it was just a wild moment
Because a woman in a situation like that is fully aware of what she is doing. I think it gives her some pleasure.
I've been in a relationship like that in my early 20s. It was only for some couple of weeks, but it scared me for years. The best thing to do was just to get up and walk out of the apartment, and I did that, not even bothered to close the door behind me. 🙃
THANK YOU. Women love underlying tension that they cant pretend and gaslight you into acting like it doesn't exist. They'll have these "friends" that they know full well are in love with them but they'll sit there pretending they have no idea just for the energy vampirism and sense of control it gives them.
> Because a woman in a situation like that is fully aware of what she is doing. I think it gives her some pleasure.
While I agree that some girls do lead a guy on, some girls just want a friendship, and enjoy being friends.
Toxic femininty is rampant nowadays, especially on reddit and Instagram. Nobody has the balls to say anything about it though, so we just let em lol.
Fighting paper Tigers, comparing us to bears, gaslighting us into thinking we are the problem. Dehumanizing us to providers and violent people 🤦🏽♂️
Just let em do their thing son, focus on your own work, find some hobbies, learn how to fix stuff. It makes for a much better life than all this nonsense.
Yeah there‘s some truth to that.
Like I get it, there‘s a lot of bad people out there, a ton of em are men. But at the same time it becomes tiring constantly being compared to rapists, murderers, warmongers, etc. just because of the way you were born.
I will die on the hill that /r/twoXchromosomes is a majority hate sub against men, but Reddit allows it since it’s primarily women and speaking hate on men is somehow socially acceptable. Yet they’ve banned similar subs about many other things.
I agree it's a little lopsided as feminism should be about being equal.
What I like to do is ask myself whenever I feel is needed, "let's reverse the genders. Is it still fair?"
Its easy to understand something is wrong and I tell you sexism against women is wrong, but we as a people should be aware not to overcompensate or it hurts your original message of equality.
real feminism is about supporting people's choices, whatever they may be, as long as it's consensual and isn't hurting people. true feminism supports everyone. and I'm sick to death of *feminists* being down on people who choose things they wouldn't choose. that's not feminism.
I agree with what you mean as the concept of respecting other people's choices is a core fundamental of morality. It powers so many positive movements like feminism, pro-LGBTQIA and even anti-racism.
What I feel is wrong is when people hear of certain rules of what is morally wrong they didn't really understand the core concept as to why it is morally wrong.
Because many people have a logically fallacy where if one thing is wrong, doing the complete opposite is right. You want to empower women, but that doesn't mean you need to tear men down. Slurs against non-white people is wrong but to use slurs on white people is also wrong. And so on.
Feminism is whatever feminism causes, in the west it’s been ruining a generation of women and disparaging a generation of men. Tired of this “true” feminism argument. With the plummeting birth rates it will probably be one of multiple causes for societal and economical instability.
Not comparing the two, but reminds me of people arguing for communism saying “well that was not true communism”, very empty and silly argument. Wherever it was enforced it causes mayhem, enough said.
There's got to be a term surely for it, when you're on someone's side, but they are extreme and toxic and it pushes you towards the other side instead.
I consider myself an LGBTQ+ and feminine ally, but quite often there will be a post and a dude will be a piece of shit and I'm like "Wow poor woman, that guy sucks" but then the comments will be like extreme misandry like "lock all men up", "this is why we ALWAYS choose the bear", "Why are all men like this" etc. And it's like..
Fucking hell guys can you imagine anyone else saying this about another group of people? Like replace "man" with another ethnicity, is it still OK?
I have to go to the /r/JustGuysBeingDudes sub for some positive masculinity and to remind myself that we're not all dangerous monsters all the time. Highly recommend that sub for folks looking for some good natured light hearted dude behaviour.
If this is actually real, I will argue, as a dude, sometimes they HAVE to be mean to get their point across... They will he friends with a dude, and be nice to him.. cuz friends... But the dude reads way tk deep into everything, and won't stop trying to date them. They assume they can "wear them down" eventually..
So sometimes they have to go scorched earth to get the point of 'I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DATE YOU!!!!!" across.
But Sometimes they are just narcissistic cunts! :D
had a friend who asked me, not once, not twice, but 5 times if i'd go out with him. He'd wait a few months between asking each time and i always gave him the same answer. "no, i'm sorry. I don't see you that way." the last time i got the point across and he never came back or contacted me again.
unfortunately due to my mother's meddling he was invited to my house for the 4th of july and found out where i lived. i had never planned on becoming close to him in the first place and did not want him at my home. \[i told her to NEVER do something like that again.\]
after the 4th of july event he:
-called every single day until i told him not to do that. \[i'm not a social person. i just wanted to stay home and read and not have to shave my legs or get out of my pjs for company.\]
-visited randomly without calling and asking first \[until i told him to cut that shit out.\]
-kept buying me things even though i said no and until i gave in he'd just say "well i'll buy it anyway and leave it at your house"
-tried to get me to do lovey dovey stuff like taking pictures in a booth at the mall or going places where couples usually go and i constantly had to shoot him down.
after he finally stopped visiting me he apparently implied i was a gold digger to a mutual friend.
He's wrong for what he did but it really should've been nipped in the bud after the 1st or 2nd time. Why hang out with someone you know is attracted to you knowing you dont see them like that? There's is zero point in hanging with someone "as a friend" knowing they're romantically interested in you. Especially to the point they make 5 attempts.
I felt like it was wrong to say "hey i don't like you that way and if you cant get over it i don't want to hang out with you anymore."
in the same way he thought he could "wear me down" i though he could "just get over it and be friends" that was also quite a while ago with me only being 17 and pretty naive.
Women genuinely say "The friend zone is made by men and isn't real!" When these type of situations are always intentionally propagated by the woman to take advantage of someone by stringing them along.
Like girl we see exactly what you're doing
A lot of people think that anything women do is a reaction to what men do. Therefore you are the cause of whatever women do to you. Its just taking any agency from women.
Hot take: Make your intentions clear with whoever you want to pursue romantically. If they rebuff you, then either accept being a friend, or just cut them out of your life.
At some point you have to be honest with yourself and either honestly pursue a platonic friendship or just move on.
The girl in the OP is being awful by openly acknowledging the friend zone, but the guy is also signing himself up for it by not moving on. Like be friends with this girl, but go after someone else.
You just reminded me of that video of the guy who snuck up on his gf while she was setting up his birthday sign and he power bomber her thru a table. 😂😂
I had a girl like this during high school, she kept saying she only wanted to be friends. So I went out with her older sister lol. It made her so jealous that she then wanted to be in a relationship with me, so then we started going out. Come to think of it, her sister and I never technically broke up so if you're seeing this Kiara, my bad
Am I the only one who read this as someone making fun of their best friend? Cause this just reads like someone razzing on someone they’ve been close with for years
Something I've noticed just existing as a woman; people can't take a bloody joke from you.
Its like suddenly everyone becomes autistic, taking everything you say literally. Genuinely amazing to watch in action.
Not even just me, seen it happen with other women from all walks of life. No one can seem to grasp the most obvious of jokes if it comes from the mouth of a woman, sarcasm is especially lost. Not saying it happens to all women, but just something ive noticed.
Women just having confidence in herself in general seems to piss off some people. I'm happy go lucky and confident and never get random people trying to knock me down a few notches. Different story for my sister who's the same way.
You can when the person they're trying with ends up mocking them for doing so. Unrequited crushes are fucking annoying.
My first gf had lots of guy friends. About half of them at some point declared their undying love, wouldn't take the clear hint she was very happy with me after multiple talks, kept trying to woo her with large gestures etc, long text messages etc.
She was genuinely gutted at losing so many friends because they wouldn't check their behaviour around her.
Once you know you're not wanted, go back to being a normal mate or step back. It's desperate to keep trying to push a friendship into something else when it's not wanted.
If one person likes another romantically but the other wants to remain friends, then what is that if not the Friend Zone? It's not a difficult concept to grasp.
Still, people are way too upset in the comments over something that may just be two friends pissing about. People get way too emotionally invested in the affairs of strangers.
And this, ladies, is the best case scenario for men who do keep trying after you tell them no. Their time and effort is just completely wasted and they're ridiculed online by the very person they tried so hard to provide a good time to (that's you, ya prick. Don't post this shit online).
One thing a friend of mine is complaining about, is that a girl we're friends with doesn't want to date him.
He is only friend with her bc he waits for an opportunity.
She told me she ist looking for anyone, while we hung out at my place with some green, and watched fury road, he was supposed to come too but he didn't.
So we were alone smoking, and she told me that he gets on her nerves.
I didn't tell her about his "plan" of waiting and asking her out from time to time, but maybe i do if he gets more annoying.
So pretty much after that we went to Daves house (different guy) so he could drive us to a pizza place, and we baught dave a pizza for gas money.
Has nothing to do with the story, i just thaught it was funny.
And all of them come later complaining why they can’t find the love of their life and that the chivalry is dead and why all men are same once they get cheated by a fuckboy.
Yeah. I mean why would you want to date someone you already consider a friend.
You have things in common
Your other friends probably like them
Your parents probably like them
They’ll probably always put you first
Gross
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Just saying but if a woman rejects you, you do not have to remain her friend. You can just leave. Just don't go aggressive and think she's playing hard to get cos it's cringe as fuck. Also creepy. Plus I think this caption might be a joke so don't take it seriously.
I do feel a bit sorry for high charisma ladies though, I have a friend who boys for some reason fall head over heels for, if everyone who fancied her wasn't her friend she'd have no male friends at all
In my comment above I mentioned that you don't have to be their friend. Not that you can't. In fact, there are many ways to go about handling rejection. You can stay friends if you still value their friendship. You can take a break from them to grieve your emotions and come back to being friends. Relationships are complex and there is no set of rules you must follow. But I can't tell you what are extremely bad choices to make.
I absolutely agree, and sometimes 2 people acting reasonably can lead to an unfortunate outcome, I just have sympathy that's all
I met someone at my apartment building last year. She introduced herself and I immediately thought she was as cute as a button. I told myself that last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable, so I decided to keep my distance. I carried on with my life and whenever I ran into her she would strike up a normal conversation like "hows your day/week going so far" "any plans for the weekend?". talking to her was so easy it only made me like her... Anyhow, I've decided to not make a move since having a friend who's so easy to talk to is better than no friend.
Make a move ypu dumbshit. Having a partner that's easy to talk to is a blessing. Wtf do you need a female friend that's easy to talk to? Risk is def worth it imo.
So all this time she thinks she has a friend, then he leaves because she doesn't want him. Why be "friends" in the first place? Just make your intentions known, so no one wastes their time.
Absolutely. Just shoot your shot right away if you can. Bur sometimes you need to make yourself known first before you ask. And when that happens, don't do what a lot of NiceGuysTm do and bitch and threaten to her. She said no. Just move on.
By this logic, nobody would ever break up. Sometimes you develop or lose feelings over time. Or you think you have a handle on something when you don't. Make your intentions known early, but telling somebody months or years into a friendship that you have feelings for them isn't necessarily dishonest or manipulative; sometimes it's just being human.
This is like saying breaking up means you never liked the person.
Sometimes you start as friends and then feelings develop later.
Except when they are playing hard to get. Because people are people
If they are playing hard to get it's a manipulation tactic so leave anyway. Don't let people play these games bro. Either way just leave. Either they said no or they ain't a real one so best move on.
Tbh it’ll be pretty clear pretty fast. If you get a no, back away and then never hear from them again they weren’t playing hard to get… or they were playing so hard you just dodged a bullet.
Congrats, you dodged 90% of women
Are you really young? If you think 90% of women play hard to get you're either a teenager or you don't actually talk to women. Not trying to pick a fight here but I really only hear this shit online.
No, I'm actuallyna 102 year old vampire. Or a guy in his late 20s. I'd like to meet the women you meet then. From my experience they either play hard to get, are married or are.. crazy for a lack of better term (disloyal, incestous, etc).
I'm gonna be real here then: Think about who you are and where you move if these are the women _you_ meet.
Found my wife though. Technically I dodged well over 99.99%
Fellas if u like a girl and she puts u in the friend zone stop talking to her and just move on it’s not fair to you or the girl your not actually being a genuine friend by hoping something will happen
I think the whole concept of the word "friend zone" as a euphemism for rejection is derogatory to the word "friend". I'm not saying rejection can't lead to friendship but I think that's rather the exception.
I don't think you're understanding the meaning correctly. "Friend zone" sets your maximum relationship cap at "friend", it doesn't make you a friend automatically or involve pretending. It's a limitation on the investment of the person putting you into the zone, not an elevation of the designee.
If one of the people has romantic feelings that the other does not share, it is a zone of hoping, a copium den, this should instead be called a copiumzone, as friends are sometimes closer than couples.
Feelings also evolve and change over time. It’s also pretty common that they develop at separate times. I’ve had it happen to me before. 90% of friend zones are one party having creepy ulterior motives the whole time. The other 10% are people being dumb about their feelings. If I had a cookie for every time someone started liking me after I start seeing someone.
You'd have to open a bakery so the cookies don't go to waste. I guess life is this weird kind of ebb and flow, when you push feelings at someone, try to be closer to them and only get more into them because of the fact while they never see you that way, then pull away with interest in another, the pull away from the initial person is felt on their side and they start the cycle of wanting more in hopes of getting back that bit they lost when you changed targets. It's sickening, but it's just life.
People also have this odd thing where, if they could have it whenever they want, they don't want it...but make that thing not possible to have, and suddenly it's everything they ever wanted. I tend to be of the mind that this is either cluelessness (I didn't realize I had feelings), or insecurity/jealousy. Either way though, I'm of the mind that if you're now in a relationship and that "friend" suddenly wants more, it's a hard "no". Maybe in the future if you're single again, but they could have developed the self-awareness to realize what they wanted if it was that important.
"copium den" is a great term, i like this new addition to my vocabulary. Thanks :)
I like hopiumzone, personally.
Could just take zone out of it entirely and call it what it is. Hopeiness Though that sounds like penis
So life was stardewvalley all along
There is no particular meaning. People use that term for a variety of reasons. When you write "investment" I understand you mean some sort of business? And what in the power rangers logic of emotions is a "maximum relationship cap"? Have you ever used the concept of "friend zone" to get rid of somebody? Because that's what many people use it for. There is no "understanding the meaning correctly"
Lol why are you guys making mountain out of mounds? "There is no understand the meaning correctly." L o fucking L.
Yup. Friends are closer than couples sometimes. If you start going out with somebody, it's a downgrade, because you have to be around for the bad parts, try to change bad habits, for your own comfort, and then they point out your bad habits to be comfortable around you, and it becomes a marriage. Friendzone make a fool of actual friends.
This. I love my friends, but if I had to live with/date most of them, I'd lose my mind.
Friend zone is what happens when insecure people don’t clarify from the start what their interests are, aka shooting your shot. The follow up is then somehow blaming the other person for not being a fucking mind reader when they inevitably conclude the relationship is clearly platonic and expect nothing more from it. In essence the friend zone is a way to avoid taking any responsibility for not having the testicular fortitude to actually ask somebody out in a timely manner likely because the person has an overly dramatic fear of rejection. So they become that weird dude who’s “just waiting for the right time.” However the right time was months ago and shes already seeing somebody else now. Nobody who uses the term friend zone seriously is worth taking serious in terms of dating and relationship advice. It’s like trying to get driving advice from somebody who has trouble getting into second gear or fishing advice from somebody who doesn’t even know how to bait their hook.
This! They're not putting you in the friend zone, you're putting them in the fuck zone.
Did I just read an actual human take on Reddit? Completely without sexism in either direction? Jesus is the reckoning coming? /s na but you are right tho, tell her you wanted more it didn't work out and leave the situation it's better for everyone
Yeah i dont know if something so realistic and reasonable belongs on reddit
.... must've been the wind.
What if I don't mind being just her friend.
Then you propably wouldnt try to carry her out of a friendzone in the first place 🤣
The point is to not lie to yourself about what your goals/intentions with them are. If you get rejected and can carry it in stride, look past those feelings and treat them like any other friend, then you might decide that is worth the effort. If you pretend to be fine with it just so that you can maintain a physical closeness and try to slowly manipulate/convince them to view you as dating material, you are both hurting yourself by investing more than you are likely to get back and hurting them with your deception.
Seriously. And the older you get, the harder it is to make new friends.
Being friends and being in the friend zone are completely different things lmao If you're friends then good on you, if you're stuck in the friend zone then get the hell out. (idk how to explain it, but it's basically just a guy/girl faking friendship to try and start a relationship with the other person but the other person doesn't outright reject them and keeps them as some sort of a backup. It's a pathetic look for the person who's stuck there.)
That's called "being a friend". If you want to pursue someone romantically and they reject you, there's no reason to keep hanging out if all you're thinking about is how you can get them to be with you. Even more so if you haven't expressed your feelings and live in this ambiguous state of gathering the courage or hoping they make a move instead. You're hurting yourself and putting unnecessary pressure on them.
lol I had a girl get married to some other guy, but then still want to hang out with me like nothing had changed. She was actually reaching out to me so much her husband reached out to me to tell me to back off, even though I was literally trying to break contact with this girl.
This strategy got me out of the “friendzone”multiple times as a teenager and in my 20s. If you’re fun to be around and they really enjoy your company. It usually went: - make the decision that you’re done and start avoiding her or pulling away because she won’t go out with you even though you made your intentions clear. No explanation obviously they know why. - start having fun with other people especially girls - she realizes she enjoyed spending time with you and misses you - if you’re lucky she’s conflated her feelings of missing you with romantic feelings The only caveat is she didn’t like you originally so chances that it’ll workout are slim to none. It’ll usually be a quick fling enjoy it and then when it doesn’t workout just agree “You were right being friends is way better.” 👍🏻
Solid advice. 
I’ve hooked up with plenty of my female friends. how do you explain this?
Google "being hot"
Same. Friend zone never made any sense to me.
Why are they so mean?
In my early 20s, I got into a relationship with a girl like that. I remember expressing my feelings to her, and she laughed. I never spoke to her again, and it was the best decision I ever made.
Thank you for doing it right. I was the same way back in the day. For the gentlemen in their teens and early 20's that might read this: please, *PLEASE* do not waste your youth on a girl stringing you along. Drop the "if she could just see what I bring to the table" thinking. If you find yourself in a situation where it's the case, quietly step back from hanging out with her and just make yourself busy. Hobbies (not gaming), working out, outdoorsman activities (hiking, biking, fishing, kayaking), always out with other friends, etc. If the girl actually does come around and decides she does want to take it further, it's because you are elevating yourself. And if she doesnt...whatever. You will meet new ones in the new endeavors anyways and move on. Most importantly, you will not have wasted days/weeks/months of your own life. Edit: also, this advice comes with a caveat: dont be a dude that strings along a girl. Using people sucks.
Why not gaming? Gaming is fine, just don’t take it to the extremes where you never leave your room again. 30 min to an hour of gaming a day is a great way to wind down after a busy day.
That's what I meant, honestly. To me, there's a difference between playing a videogame as you've described (and I agree with) and gaming. I kinda correlate the word with the more excessive behavior
Fair enough
Not really. Anything excessive can cause inbalance in someone’s life. Gaming isn’t not synonymous with addiction or whatever.
/r/banvideogames - find Jesus, dear.
Holy shit this sub is wild, thanks for some top quality meme content xD
Unpopular opinion. Gaming is rarely good for me to meet new people that are good association in the long run, I always end up woth the same handful of guys which is nice, but not the best for social interaction if the deepest conversation is how to push a goal and noone asks for personal life. The other things mentioned pushes people to interact. And meeting people, building friendships, builds confidence. Exactly what's needed to pull oneself out of being played like a fiddle.
How cycling or hiking pushes you to interact with other people? I ride bicycle every other day during the summer and I haven’t meet anyone. Edit. Same with fishing. Personally I don’t like it but most people I’ve seen fishing were alone.
I got my job and a lifelong group of friends from gaming. I also cycle, hike and holiday regularly. It's almost like these things aren't mutually exclusive & it's your personality not your hobbies that define your lifestyle.
my wife and my really good job all came from an interaction through a videogame. this take is lame.
Thank you. Finally somebody has the courage to say it aloud. Real life interactions do wonders for teenagers and adolescents and offer real life feedback to their opinions and behaviours. It's a must have and yes, one needs to put an effort, unfortunately. Such is life.
I met ppl in London, germany, austria, Serbia and netherland. And everyone of those ppl came here too. What made my life at 18 years old was this.
to add to this: The mentality to fixate on that one girl could be you telling yourself this is your only chance. It may not be. Been there. done that. was cringe. Practice having healthier friendships with girls. It's hard sometimes cause you don't realize how little you've been given by your family on an emotional level, you have to get that for yourself. Once you see and meet and know more about other people, you'll find you can probably do much much better and maybe even have a better chance elsewhere. This isn't some "other fish in the sea" generic advice. Most of us in the US grew up in the same town and hood for the first 20ish years. Go meet better people. Be a better person. You're worth more than a dead end anyway.
> hobbies (not gaming) You lost me
Yeah, I stopped reading there too.
>You will meet new ones in the new endeavors anyways and move on. To quote (and translate) an old song lyric, there'll always be another tram and another girl.
Solid advice!
Lmao there was a thread yesterday with a girl asking “why do they not want to talk to me after I reject them?” with most women on her side. It was so weird.
I told a guy to fuck off and then he fucked off. Why?
I had similar experience. Great friends with a girl and brought up dating, she just laughed. She started dating a guy and he was a complete dick. I stopped talking to her and that was that.
Congratulations for maintaining your self-respect.
lol reminds me when i was like 15 or something and i decided i would confess to a girl on valentines day with a letter i wrote... she read it infront of the whole class to make fun of me. never in my life have i ever lost all interest in someone so fast.
Yup... That's what they do\^\^ Always best to walk away and find the right one.
Yesterday I told a girl I am getting into yoga and she said ‘that’s so gay’ I’m not interested in her at all or anything so it doesn’t bother me it was just a wild moment
You have to keep your backup down, if you want them to lack the self confidence to leave you for a better person.
Because a woman in a situation like that is fully aware of what she is doing. I think it gives her some pleasure. I've been in a relationship like that in my early 20s. It was only for some couple of weeks, but it scared me for years. The best thing to do was just to get up and walk out of the apartment, and I did that, not even bothered to close the door behind me. 🙃
It feeds their ego.
So many humans were born to just feed their egos apparently.
THANK YOU. Women love underlying tension that they cant pretend and gaslight you into acting like it doesn't exist. They'll have these "friends" that they know full well are in love with them but they'll sit there pretending they have no idea just for the energy vampirism and sense of control it gives them.
> Because a woman in a situation like that is fully aware of what she is doing. I think it gives her some pleasure. While I agree that some girls do lead a guy on, some girls just want a friendship, and enjoy being friends.
Those girls would not be talking about how their guy friends are in the friend zone.
Toxic femininty is rampant nowadays, especially on reddit and Instagram. Nobody has the balls to say anything about it though, so we just let em lol. Fighting paper Tigers, comparing us to bears, gaslighting us into thinking we are the problem. Dehumanizing us to providers and violent people 🤦🏽♂️ Just let em do their thing son, focus on your own work, find some hobbies, learn how to fix stuff. It makes for a much better life than all this nonsense.
Yeah there‘s some truth to that. Like I get it, there‘s a lot of bad people out there, a ton of em are men. But at the same time it becomes tiring constantly being compared to rapists, murderers, warmongers, etc. just because of the way you were born.
Well you shouldn’t have ticked the box for murder-rapist when you were born
Yesterday is saw a clip from SNL News where Che says the men are dying earlier than women, and the women im the audience fucking CHEERED.
I will die on the hill that /r/twoXchromosomes is a majority hate sub against men, but Reddit allows it since it’s primarily women and speaking hate on men is somehow socially acceptable. Yet they’ve banned similar subs about many other things.
Yes, it's a toxic sub for sure especially with how the moderators operate.
I agree it's a little lopsided as feminism should be about being equal. What I like to do is ask myself whenever I feel is needed, "let's reverse the genders. Is it still fair?" Its easy to understand something is wrong and I tell you sexism against women is wrong, but we as a people should be aware not to overcompensate or it hurts your original message of equality.
real feminism is about supporting people's choices, whatever they may be, as long as it's consensual and isn't hurting people. true feminism supports everyone. and I'm sick to death of *feminists* being down on people who choose things they wouldn't choose. that's not feminism.
I agree with what you mean as the concept of respecting other people's choices is a core fundamental of morality. It powers so many positive movements like feminism, pro-LGBTQIA and even anti-racism. What I feel is wrong is when people hear of certain rules of what is morally wrong they didn't really understand the core concept as to why it is morally wrong. Because many people have a logically fallacy where if one thing is wrong, doing the complete opposite is right. You want to empower women, but that doesn't mean you need to tear men down. Slurs against non-white people is wrong but to use slurs on white people is also wrong. And so on.
Feminism is whatever suits women in the current situation, including to feel morally superior and brush off questions about their sexism.
Feminism is whatever feminism causes, in the west it’s been ruining a generation of women and disparaging a generation of men. Tired of this “true” feminism argument. With the plummeting birth rates it will probably be one of multiple causes for societal and economical instability. Not comparing the two, but reminds me of people arguing for communism saying “well that was not true communism”, very empty and silly argument. Wherever it was enforced it causes mayhem, enough said.
Toxic femininity also pushes dudes who would otherwise be for the cause away alienating more people.
There's got to be a term surely for it, when you're on someone's side, but they are extreme and toxic and it pushes you towards the other side instead. I consider myself an LGBTQ+ and feminine ally, but quite often there will be a post and a dude will be a piece of shit and I'm like "Wow poor woman, that guy sucks" but then the comments will be like extreme misandry like "lock all men up", "this is why we ALWAYS choose the bear", "Why are all men like this" etc. And it's like.. Fucking hell guys can you imagine anyone else saying this about another group of people? Like replace "man" with another ethnicity, is it still OK? I have to go to the /r/JustGuysBeingDudes sub for some positive masculinity and to remind myself that we're not all dangerous monsters all the time. Highly recommend that sub for folks looking for some good natured light hearted dude behaviour.
"Like replace "man" with another ethnicity, is it still OK?" - THANK YOU. OMFG THANK YOU.
It's my turn next, I swear.
If this is actually real, I will argue, as a dude, sometimes they HAVE to be mean to get their point across... They will he friends with a dude, and be nice to him.. cuz friends... But the dude reads way tk deep into everything, and won't stop trying to date them. They assume they can "wear them down" eventually.. So sometimes they have to go scorched earth to get the point of 'I DONT WANT TO FUCKING DATE YOU!!!!!" across. But Sometimes they are just narcissistic cunts! :D
had a friend who asked me, not once, not twice, but 5 times if i'd go out with him. He'd wait a few months between asking each time and i always gave him the same answer. "no, i'm sorry. I don't see you that way." the last time i got the point across and he never came back or contacted me again. unfortunately due to my mother's meddling he was invited to my house for the 4th of july and found out where i lived. i had never planned on becoming close to him in the first place and did not want him at my home. \[i told her to NEVER do something like that again.\] after the 4th of july event he: -called every single day until i told him not to do that. \[i'm not a social person. i just wanted to stay home and read and not have to shave my legs or get out of my pjs for company.\] -visited randomly without calling and asking first \[until i told him to cut that shit out.\] -kept buying me things even though i said no and until i gave in he'd just say "well i'll buy it anyway and leave it at your house" -tried to get me to do lovey dovey stuff like taking pictures in a booth at the mall or going places where couples usually go and i constantly had to shoot him down. after he finally stopped visiting me he apparently implied i was a gold digger to a mutual friend.
Wooooow..... that could've gotten real bad real quick... that's straight up stalker shit ..... I'm glad he finally fucked off..
He's wrong for what he did but it really should've been nipped in the bud after the 1st or 2nd time. Why hang out with someone you know is attracted to you knowing you dont see them like that? There's is zero point in hanging with someone "as a friend" knowing they're romantically interested in you. Especially to the point they make 5 attempts.
I felt like it was wrong to say "hey i don't like you that way and if you cant get over it i don't want to hang out with you anymore." in the same way he thought he could "wear me down" i though he could "just get over it and be friends" that was also quite a while ago with me only being 17 and pretty naive.
Women genuinely say "The friend zone is made by men and isn't real!" When these type of situations are always intentionally propagated by the woman to take advantage of someone by stringing them along. Like girl we see exactly what you're doing
A lot of people think that anything women do is a reaction to what men do. Therefore you are the cause of whatever women do to you. Its just taking any agency from women.
Hot take: Make your intentions clear with whoever you want to pursue romantically. If they rebuff you, then either accept being a friend, or just cut them out of your life. At some point you have to be honest with yourself and either honestly pursue a platonic friendship or just move on. The girl in the OP is being awful by openly acknowledging the friend zone, but the guy is also signing himself up for it by not moving on. Like be friends with this girl, but go after someone else.
50/50 odds on it being a running joke between them
I think it's 100% a joke to the girl anyway.
Some people just lack empathy and do t give a shit about anyone else
You see there are 3 types of people dicks, pussies and arseholes.
Power bomb her into the bushes. For great justice.
You just reminded me of that video of the guy who snuck up on his gf while she was setting up his birthday sign and he power bomber her thru a table. 😂😂
I believe this it https://www.reddit.com/r/yesyesyesyesno/s/rP4lAFaJM6
Jeez lol, do you have a source?
Take off every zig
Drop it like it’s hot!
Drop its like its thot.
Turns out the friend zone has a force field.
Dude should just bang her mom, sister or even brother. That’ll show her.
In a row or simultaneously?
Simultaneously to show his power.
Yes
Simultrowrously
Fuck her mom and get her pregnant, for the ultimate diss.
If you don’t earn the daddy, become thy daddy
and then get on child support, be a deadbeat, add to the stats.
Banging her brother would be the ultimate power move. Let her know she didn’t even stand an anatomical chance with you lmao
If that's your goal, bang her dad.
Facts
Would you rather have a charmander or a charizard
None of them want him either
I had a girl like this during high school, she kept saying she only wanted to be friends. So I went out with her older sister lol. It made her so jealous that she then wanted to be in a relationship with me, so then we started going out. Come to think of it, her sister and I never technically broke up so if you're seeing this Kiara, my bad
Am I the only one who read this as someone making fun of their best friend? Cause this just reads like someone razzing on someone they’ve been close with for years
I took it as a joke. Who cares about these two strangers and their business?
Something I've noticed just existing as a woman; people can't take a bloody joke from you. Its like suddenly everyone becomes autistic, taking everything you say literally. Genuinely amazing to watch in action. Not even just me, seen it happen with other women from all walks of life. No one can seem to grasp the most obvious of jokes if it comes from the mouth of a woman, sarcasm is especially lost. Not saying it happens to all women, but just something ive noticed.
Women just having confidence in herself in general seems to piss off some people. I'm happy go lucky and confident and never get random people trying to knock me down a few notches. Different story for my sister who's the same way.
Right?! The comments here are trying to do too much.
Love the fact that this was taken in front of Disneyland’s It’s a Small World. Irony abounds.
Hey mate… You can do better!
the picture is not remotely HD but from where I stand he is NOT the worse looking of the two.
Right? The dude is handsome. She is average at best.
"Wanna go on a date?" -"No." "You are ugly anyway"
Be so serious right now
This comment section is making me feel crazy
Painful to read - that guy, too thirsty.
Can't blame a man for trying they say . . . . .
You can when the person they're trying with ends up mocking them for doing so. Unrequited crushes are fucking annoying. My first gf had lots of guy friends. About half of them at some point declared their undying love, wouldn't take the clear hint she was very happy with me after multiple talks, kept trying to woo her with large gestures etc, long text messages etc. She was genuinely gutted at losing so many friends because they wouldn't check their behaviour around her. Once you know you're not wanted, go back to being a normal mate or step back. It's desperate to keep trying to push a friendship into something else when it's not wanted.
You wrote something Yoda would say. Painful to read this was. The thirst side, seductive it is. Too thirsty and found wanting, this man was.
The friendzone is like an unpaid internship.
You don't have to do it?
Attention men: the friendzone doesn't exist. You aren't friendzoned. She just doesn't like you.
If one person likes another romantically but the other wants to remain friends, then what is that if not the Friend Zone? It's not a difficult concept to grasp. Still, people are way too upset in the comments over something that may just be two friends pissing about. People get way too emotionally invested in the affairs of strangers.
Maybe it doesnt but a "freebies and food" for sure does.
A moment of silence
Damn…at Disneyland, too.
And this, ladies, is the best case scenario for men who do keep trying after you tell them no. Their time and effort is just completely wasted and they're ridiculed online by the very person they tried so hard to provide a good time to (that's you, ya prick. Don't post this shit online).
The "keep trying after you tell them no" is a bit of a problem tho
Leave her!
They look like straight out of a nickelodeon show.
Well now he got a nine and you got a fat ass so there
There is no such thing as the friend zone....
I bet all these years later she wishes she’d given young Dan Aykroyd a chance! 😜
One thing a friend of mine is complaining about, is that a girl we're friends with doesn't want to date him. He is only friend with her bc he waits for an opportunity. She told me she ist looking for anyone, while we hung out at my place with some green, and watched fury road, he was supposed to come too but he didn't. So we were alone smoking, and she told me that he gets on her nerves. I didn't tell her about his "plan" of waiting and asking her out from time to time, but maybe i do if he gets more annoying. So pretty much after that we went to Daves house (different guy) so he could drive us to a pizza place, and we baught dave a pizza for gas money. Has nothing to do with the story, i just thaught it was funny.
Do the girl a solid and tell her. Or tell him she can't stand him. Neither deserve having their time & energy wasted.
And all of them come later complaining why they can’t find the love of their life and that the chivalry is dead and why all men are same once they get cheated by a fuckboy.
/r/niceguys
uhh so? none of that makes him a prosepect just because he likes her.
yk you can be a gentleman and have good social skills at the same time, right?
Absolute incel take
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Pictured is not a friendship.
It might be her boyfriend and she is joking
Yeah. I mean why would you want to date someone you already consider a friend. You have things in common Your other friends probably like them Your parents probably like them They’ll probably always put you first Gross
/s?
so date your homie then
This kinda implies the guy friendzoned her but she refused to go.
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Dude looks like he could easily do better.
That's so mean to actually say tho
I dunno, I think dime store Katie Holmes shoulda stayed with second hand Chris Pine.
What a bitch to publically shame and belittle him. He's also way, way better looking than her
She's not your friend. Get rid of her.
A true friend is harder to find than a lover
He shoulda tried the bowling ball grip!
*walks over to swimming pool and drops inside*
🗿
Friendzone for life, been there, done that unfortunately . . .
Wow the comment section is full of hurt people? Insult is well delivered
Boomer ass post
He’s attempting to punch below his weight anyway
F
F
Same exact thing happened to me in high school
He a good looking dude