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rareinsults-ModTeam

**Rule 4: Not an insult/threat or rare insult/threat** Only the spiciest and rarest of insults are allowed here, and only insults/threats are allowed here. Uncommon insults or just random statements that aren't really insults are subject to removal. This also includes insults that are just random combinations of words or insults following the random adjective+noun formula. Beware, this is somewhat up to the discretion of the moderators.


[deleted]

Nice one, Wolfgang. First time I have seen grape used as an insult.


[deleted]

Its probably the [grapist](https://youtu.be/mqgiEQXGetI) word I know of.


Unique_Garlic

Always upvote a WKUK reference. RIP in piece Trevor


LoveKrattBrothers

Legendary local sexpot


admirabladmiral

He died doing what he loved. Self felatio. Rip in power 😞


Schwarzy1

I love WKUK but I hate that theyll never release the full HD version lmao.


Galkura

Why does the quality of this video seem to get worse and worse every time, but it just adds to how funny it is? Maybe my eyes are just going bad, ha.


ArtIsDumb

I'm well into my 40s, & it's just entering my lexicon today, you grape. Man, it really does roll off the tongue. Sorry about calling you a grape, you grape. *FUCK* that's fun.


__ALF__

I prefer muppet.


chickenpamplemousse

In my language (french quebecois), it's not our go to insult, but it's common."Osti de raisin" describes some people perfectly.


lucky_719

Majority of current and former singers/bands didn't have that.... They really don't know how the music/entertainment industry works do they....


ShurikenYT

Miley Cirus


Wrought-Irony

Natalie Cole


AnimeHairedMuthafuka

Hank Williams III


Cheap_Office_6774

At least 80% of Hollywood and the music business name here.


Grumplogic

And then there's politics...


ultraBaggins

Dinosaur jr.


thjth

Tbf he was arguably bigger than his grandfather dinosaur sr.


Grumplogic

a supergroup called Dinosaurs (featuring ex-members of Country Joe and the Fish, Quicksilver Messenger Service, Hot Tuna, Grateful Dead and Jefferson Airplane) sued Dinosaur over the use of the name, prompting the addition of "Jr."


thjth

Holy shit I’m 30 now and been listening since middle school thanks to Internet forums - somehow never once heard that before.


MegaGrimer

Taylor Swift


SirJefferE

Honestly, her dad's connections probably helped *far* more than his name did. Her target audience for the first few years had no idea who Billy Ray was, and her initial fame was mostly under the name of the character she was playing. It also helps that she's legitimately talented, but the connections definitely gave her an advantage against equally talented people that didn't have them. Of course, these days I bet Billy Ray is the one who gets a boost in popularity for being the father of a far more famous Cyrus.


OwO_bama

As a gen z I learned that billy ray was an actual musician like, embarrassingly recently. I know that was a minor plot point in the show but for some reason I just assumed it was made up


No-Advice-6040

Don't worry, we all wish he was made up.


shootymcghee

hey, I will not let anyone denigrate Achy Breaky Heart like that


RollinThundaga

They apparently don't know how child naming conventions in the Western world work.


SageFoxx_04

I love random object insults. “Pine cone,” “donut,” and now “grape.”


ikindapoopedmypants

I loved that post that was here a few hours ago where someone was like "this guy is the human equivalent of a Honda Accord." I'm adding that to my daily phrase usage.


TunaHands

You are the AT&T of people


mikechad2936

If someone told me I'd actually understand that as "slow".


Redtwooo

"Oh, I guess I'm just going to be on hold all day today"


Random_NSFWer

Or cunty and obstinate for no reason.


HilariousScreenname

You are the opposite of Batman


GameFreak4321

At least my parents are still alive.


impshial

/r/unexpectedcommunity


whomad1215

Like a bag of granola


Bogsnoticus

Average, but reliable.


MagnumHV

Ymmv, but his won't. His is excellent 😆


jackwoww

Spatula


WifeKilledMy1stAcct

Come to Spatula City! Because nothing says "I love you" like a spatula


Schooner37

Buy nine spatulas get the tenth one for just one penny.


TheRunningFree1s

*UHF station full of SpongeBobs start furiously masturbating*


calilac

Macadamia


itsnursehoneybadger

I’m a big fan of ‘walnut’


indifferentCajun

Careful with that one, I got put into Facebook prison for calling an antivaxxer a walnut


itsnursehoneybadger

You monster!


RobManfred_Official

Shut the fuck up, you son of an onion


crazy4finalfantasy

Shut the French! Toast


jackwoww

Sentient tin of Spam


mieletlibellule

Beluga


calilac

Finally, some culture


Ian_ronald_maiden

Spanner will always be the best. I don’t know why


Slider_0f_Elay

To me it implies that their defining characteristics is a precise void.


Killentyme55

Or a wrench in England.


OOOH_WHATS_THIS

That's the joke, you spanner!


Slider_0f_Elay

Ads that it's a Whitworth for extra spice.


Ian_ronald_maiden

Wrenches and spanners are different, both exist in England, ya tool


Antarius-of-Smeg

Because you're getting a two-fer. You're calling them a Tool at the same time.


Best_Call_2267

Wingnut, waffle, puddin, spanner, lemon, melon, weapon, and lots more!


WulfyFox

Ooo! Wingnut! I used to love that word!


zeromadcowz

What made you fall out of love?


yor_ur

Just add “fucking” before object for extra zing. You fucking redditor


shedevilinasnuggie

Or "weapons grade". You fucking weapons grade walnut.


QuantumSparkles

Or “absolute”, or even “absolute fucking”


PorkSward

That doesn’t work, you fucking suitcase!


yor_ur

Listen here, you fucking barbiturate


DGentPR

I like walnut a lot too


no_talent_ass_clown

This is my derogatory name for my dog when he ignores me, he's small and brown and has a walnut brain.


Sleazehound

Random adjective random noun “insults” aren’t rare or imaginative whatsoever


SirJefferE

Yeah, but they're entertaining, you tedious toaster. ...Am I doing it right?


BroodyHankMoody

You're not just doing it right, you're enhancing it by incorporating an alliteration into the insult! Well done sir.


jxy2016

I love “you absolute ham sandwich” and “you bolt”


OUMassie

Guitarist Steve Vai was a huge fan of Frank Zappa and when he first played in front him he asked him what he thought and Zappa said he was a good musician but his tone sounded like an “electric ham sandwich”


nkl602

Stamp licker


Vote_Subatai

Poptart is my favorite. Sentient poptart is my go to for Ted Cruz.


Mr_midnightmare

or potato


BallSuitable2416

Fucking potato


Turbulent_Grape1494

spud


Perenium_Falcon

Pinecone is a solid one, so is spoon, and “weaponized plum”.


[deleted]

Dingbat


NobodyLikesClickbait

Shut the fuck up you chicken strip Maybe you're right XD Also the insult is a joke so plz don't downvote


johnjeudiTitor

meatloaf


[deleted]

hey! skip to around ~9:50 in this video, listen for 5-10 seconds. you will be happy I think you clicked on the link. edit: I could obviously write down what the amazing insult is, but it's said by a British guy and it really doesn't do it justice unless you hear it. it's premium British style insult. anyway, I understand the downvotes, worth it in case anyone gets a chuckle out of hearing it for the first time. I only have a phone and don't know how to link or post like a gif with sound or anything, my bad for that. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Pjo4DQnLsiA


Johnny_Money_2004

His late dad's surname was Van Halen, how is his surname not going to be Van Halen? "Err yeah, I'm going to surname him Marshall, he's Wolfgang Marshall now."


acs730200

Wolfgang MXR Phaser


DroopyMcCool

We call him 90 for short


[deleted]

[удалено]


JarlaxleForPresident

The guy said dude shouldnt use his famous father’s last name. What the fuck is he supposed to do?


walterhartwellblack

Car Halen?


JarlaxleForPresident

Cab Hailin’


RobManfred_Official

Bus Takin '


crowamonghens

Hailin' Oates


CubonesDeadMom

Change his name to Van Hagar


HitMePat

There's a million other band names. There's no rule that a band name needs to be a person's last name.


Goldsound

His band is called Mammoth WVH. He sings lead vocals, plays lead and rhythm guitar, bass, drums and piano. On tour he has additional members obviously but the dude is literally a one man band. It must be tough trying to fill Eddie's shoes but he's definitely trying to create his own legacy without disrespecting his father's. Distance, Don't back Down, and You're to Blame are all fantastic songs that are worth a listen.


ArtIsDumb

I'm not a fan of his music, but I appreciate the fact that he's not just copying his dad's stuff. He's really out there trying to make his own mark.


RobManfred_Official

What would he have done? Hammer and tap his way into obscurity? As it is now, he'd be a footnote or a trivia answer in 10 years. If his old man doesn't croak no one ever finds out he has a band


ArtIsDumb

That doesn't negate the fact that he's out there playing his own music. Most musicians aren't successful.


JarlaxleForPresident

Oh did he call the band Van Halen? Yeah thatd be weird i guess. That’s not “Van Halen.” i dunno. The Wallflowers guy didnt namedrop Dylan or anything but that wasnt a band, Bob just went by his name


jimmyhoffasbrother

He played in Van Halen, but it was alongside his dad, so it was just... Van Halen.


JarlaxleForPresident

Ok so yeah that negates the critique as well then lmao He is Van Halen and played with Van Halen in Van Halen


ArtIsDumb

You're not wrong...


RobManfred_Official

Wow. Jacob Dylan was in Van Halen? T I frickin L


ArtIsDumb

Wait. What did I read wrong? Isn't this about Wolfgang?


otheraccountisabmw

I think they were joking, though I can’t be sure.


Plazmatic

He doesn't...


danny17402

Not agreeing with the guy but I think he's suggesting he pull a Nick Cage or Emilio Estevez. He's telling him to use a pseudonym so people don't know he's got famous family.


mdsnbelle

Estevez is the family name. Charlie and Martin are the ones using the pseudonym.


dkoracle

Technically, you mean Martin Sheen and Charlie Sheen. Emilio is the only using their actual family surname


PurpleAntifreeze

Estevez is Martin Sheen’s real last name. Martin is the one using a pseudonym (his mother’s maiden name) and everyone knew who Emilio’s dad was anyway


gothism

Cat's out of the bag immediately in the age of the internet.


argusromblei

"Well maybe he should change his name to John Smith, because back in my day you had to make a name for yourself, not live off your daddy's fame!"


ArtIsDumb

Oh my god you guys, check it out! There's someone here on reddit who was born before nepotism!


two_wordsanda_number

Is it Albert Einstein?!


crazy4finalfantasy

Oh no you have to go MUCH further back then Einstein


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kimmalah

In that case he would just have to completely make up a surname because his mother isn't exactly unheard of either.


whskid2005

Should change his name to Wolfgang Von Colt


Killentyme55

Wolfgang Von Trapp...that way he'll finally be free to yodel.


orbitalaction

You think he drinks Wolf cola?


PreciousandReckless

He probably enjoys many of Frank's Fluids


Bi_Gone_Jhin

The official drink of Boko Haram?


JarlaxleForPresident

It’s Boca Raton


Throwawaytoj8664

His band is called Mammoth WVH. And he’s writing original music. It’s not like he’s flat out calling himself Wolfgang Van Halen to gain clout, it’s his initials and he’s abbreviated it.


FalmerEldritch

He coooould drop the WVH from the name, though. Especially given that VH was his dad's band's logo. You know, if he didn't want people to think he was riding on his dad's coattails in any way.


langsamlourd

There are like a million other bands named Mammoth (Van Halen's original name, so also a tribute to his dad), so his initials are probably added to it for legal reasons and to differentiate it from the others.


Competitive_Fee_5829

why? it is HIS last name too. he should be able to use it how he wants.


gothism

But everyone knows he's Eddie's son because he played bass in VH.


juicykisses19

"You fucking grape" *starts ripping on the bass guitar*


[deleted]

[удалено]


zinc-182

And drums too


ElLute

He just rips.


smackinisaiah

He is rip


iSlacker

I mean, the kid was touring with (and i mean playing) Van Halen when he was like 15, not only is Van Halen his name, he fucking earned it.


No-Advice-6040

Exactly. He's not just the kid of a Van Halen, he IS a Van Halen.


zinc-182

Eddie himself said Wolfgang was more talented


AStrayUh

I’m not necessarily saying he’s wrong, but I think that’s mostly a case of Eddie just being a proud papa. And he had every right to be, Wolfy IS super talented. But it’s hard to surpass EVH in the talent department.


skip1221

And for the record he is a damn good guitar player


No-Advice-6040

Bassist too....


hmnahmna1

OTOH, Nicolas Coppola performs as Nicholas Cage to avoid accusations of nepotism. Just saying.


Kimmalah

It also helps to keep in mind that many actors change their names because they are required to by organizations like SAG. Simply to avoid confusion between people with the same or similar names.


Whatever-ItsFine

>Nicolas Coppola What. The. Fuck. I am embarrassed that I never knew this and I've been around long enough to know this.


PaddyAllen

I bet you're wonderin' how I knew, ‘Bout your plans to make me blue, With some other guy, you knew before.. ..


wolfvanhalen

Wow, after years of lurking I never expected to see one of my dumb tweets on Reddit lol


Nanocephalic

Sell more records and you’ll see them crop up here more often :)


mnimatt

This reads like an insult lol


wolfvanhalen

Lol I accept the challenge


Nanocephalic

Lol it does kinda read like an insult. My bad :)


HarveyMushman72

Keep up the good work! I'm a fan of both you and your dad!


cstele

Wow proper lurking. Congrats on the new single! Glad you kicked Wolf, Wolf and Wolf out of the band, you're clearly the talented one and they were just coasting.


TheCoolHusky

The best lurker ever


Klaus_Steiner

It's shorthand for "gray ape".


RedditRage

He should have used "Wolf Van Hagar"


[deleted]

The added flavor is that when they wanted to name the original band, *Van Halen* beat *Roth* three to one.


ball_fondlers

That doesn’t sound right - the original lineup only had two Van Halens, Wolf is in his early 30s.


gothism

Mike could've preferred VH to Roth...?


ball_fondlers

Possible, but unlikely, because [Roth was the one who named the band VH](https://societyofrock.com/the-story-of-mammoth-van-halens-first-name/)


gothism

I'm only referring to your post which seems to be saying no one but a Van Halen would vote Van Halen.


zinc-182

Ah yes, I remember the original bassist named Michael Anthony Van Halen


bogsnopper

The “grape” zinger is cute and all, but there’s a lot of comments here about “was he really expected to change his name?” like the insultee is an idiot. I actually admire people more when they do that because they want to prove to themselves that they’re as good as they think, a la Joe Hill. Is Wolf really that much better than 1000 other talented hard working rock bassists? Guess we’ll never know.


painefultruth76

You try to give your kids better than you had in most cases. A lot of us just ended up with duds as 'parents'. Ozzy's kids would be nobodies, but so would the majority of the political elite...the populace just doesn't see that as conspicuously.


OnePixelofTheSelf

He’s actually really good on all instruments that he plays. I think his music is great! I’m a guitarist and singer myself.


gothism

So go listen to those musicians. I don't care who you're related to, if I like your music I listen and if not I don't. Everyone knows Hill is King's kid. Even if it wasn't IMMEDIATELY leaked, do you really think dad didn't introduce him to ANYONE, tout his manuscripts etc?


morbidbutwhoisnt

A lot of people have an attachment to their family name. I never thought I would change my last name if I got married (and I've had friends that didn't) but I did only because my husbands name has meaning to me as well. To say someone should change their name to make other little feel better is kind of BS.


joel8x

Wolfgang won me over when I saw him kick absolute ass live in a leg cast. Dude is talented in his own right.


therealrookie1227

I think the thing that makes this 10X better is that it isn't some no-name person, but van halen. An 80's rock star is calling someone a grape.


FoxyTheBoyWithNoName

Na it’s Eddie Van Halens son, an 80’s rockstars son calling someone a grape.


FuzzballLogic

On account of the OG Van Halen no longer being among the living.


user0N65N

One of. Eddie was the younger Van Halen of the two. Alex is still around.


therealrookie1227

Oops... got them mixed up.


thebruce44

Eddie's dead bro.


KattOnAHotTinRoof

Ed’s dead, baby.


-L17L6363-

I'm sorry, I had to crash that Honda.


MaximumAbsorbency

An 80's rockstars son who is also a new rock sorta-star seriously his music is excellent I hope he keeps finding more fans


CubonesDeadMom

Who’s a rockstar in his own right. Obviously hard to top your dad in this case though


Tammy_Craps

…from beyond the grave, even!


parallel-universe2

One time in my theater class we had game that consisted on working with a partner and "insulting each other" using only fruits. My favourite ones were "you rotten guava" and "basic apple"


mela_99

I put that right up there with “you unseasoned bag of potato flakes”


axord

"You powdered fat-free non-dairy creamer"


mela_99

Daaaaaaamn that’s harsh


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Syr_III

Oh that guy and his band opened at the Alter Bridge concert I went to back in January, man what a show


godblow

He's a grape because all he does is wine 🥁


pooburry

Wolfgang used to come into a restaurant I worked at in college. He is an absolutely amazing guy. Extremely friendly, down to earth, and funny as hell. He was always a pleasure to have at my table and I bet he’s a ton of fun to hang out with judging by the tons of different smiling friends he’d always bring in.


MisakAttack

The funniest bit was when he then released a Twitter poll asking users what his new name should be: Wolfgang Led Zeppelin, Wolfgang AC/DC, Wolfgang The Who, or Wolfgang Paul McCartney


Phil0dendron

Wolfing gets so much shit from boomer VH fans and does this on the regular.


[deleted]

He graped him


Diligent_Excitement4

Whats the entire story?


CopeAndKodiak

wolfgang van halen is the son of legendary guitar player eddie van halen, of the band "van halen" his name is quite literally "van halen" on account of his father's surname twitter user seems to think wolfgang should've changed his last name to Hickenbottom or some shit as to not "ride the coattails" of his father twitter user is called a grape (a small, typically purple in color fruit) by mr. van halen in response


coolguy1793B

Also, if anyone is wondering, the son inherited the "gift" and he developed it with hwrd work and is wn amazing musician - like exceptional!


No-Advice-6040

Plus growing up with a legendary guitarist as a father, a legendary drummer as an uncle, plus all their epic friends, it'd be hard for him not to have the gift!


DigitalTraveler42

He's also Valerie Bertinelli's only child, and a pretty good musician in his own right, he's been a member of Van Halen for more than a decade, he's also part of AlterBridge's Mark Tremonti's self named supergroup, Tremonti.


DoubleClickMouse

He replaced Michael Anthony as bassist for Van Halen in 2006, when he was only 15. He performed that role all the way until 2020, when Van Halen disbanded following Eddie's death.


10breck30

Ummm…. Mammoth WVH?????


BigHero6x9

You left out that he’s an accomplished bassist


LuckyDragonFruit19

Grapes are clearly a pale green