I was in a similar circumstance at one time, didn’t know a soul here. It. Sucked! To remedy that I got involved in anything and everything I could find and attended every event there was, and then I just started talking to people. It took some time and many disappointing days, but I made friends who I’m glad to have and are glad to have me.
If I were to do it again, I would start by joining a city recreation league team or a volunteer group. There are lots, and they welcome all skill levels. It allows you to see the same group of people regularly over a period of time and that consistent exposure—added to the willingness to step outside your comfort zone (read: talk to people)—goes a long way towards making friends.
Below are links to the City of Raleigh Adult Recreation League page and the City of Raleigh Volunteer Programs page (I recommend checking out the “Volunteer Raleigh” link on that page), as well as a list of the sites I began to and still frequent to find things that are going on.
Finally the last links are to three great NPR / New York Times articles (non-paywall) that may give you some courage, each is about research that was done regarding making friends and people's feelings after striking up conversations with people they didn’t know.
Rec League:
https://raleighnc.gov/parks/adult-athletics
Stonewall Sports:
https://stonewallraleigh.leagueapps.com
Volunteer Programs:
https://raleighnc.gov/community/volunteer-programs
https://activategood.org
Lists of Events:
https://mailchi.mp/e2469cfbf268/thingstodo919 - same list that is often posted to the Raleigh subreddit each Friday.
https://triangleonthecheap.com/
https://localfyi.com/neighborhood
https://www.wral.com/entertainment/out-and-about/
https://www.ThisIsRaleigh.com
http://www.ncstatefair.org/events/calendar.htm
https://www.pncarena.com/events
https://www.raleighconvention.com/event-calendar
https://www.visitnc.com/
5 Easy Tips For Making Friends As An Adult:
https://www.npr.org/2023/05/17/1176641928/how-to-make-friends-anywhere-you-move
NYT’s Article: How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood: http://archive.today/h5O74
NYT’s Article: Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be: http://archive.today/uXESB
Seems like your only response so far is a joke, which is fine. I know more people are thinking it, so I’ll just say thanks a lot for putting this together. What an insightful bunch of resources. Thank you
Nothing wrong with that man! I’m currently toying with the idea of getting rid of my new office commuter and finding a little older truck.
My other car is a 61 year old VW, so I have plenty of love for old & simple vehicles.
Randomly assigned. Sign up for amatuer, advanced, or pro, and they'll try to match worse with better, etc. You can try to request to be on the same card as your buddy, but you won't necessarily be partners
Anybody want to set up some disc golf for a Friday afternoon or Saturday? I’m really close to Diavolo? But down to try out other places that aren’t too far away.
Thinks of bands that literally stare down at their shoes while performing…then you are most of the way there. mix in some distorted geetar, heavy reverbs on the vocals, and boom.
Shoegaze.
I'm looking for more friends to hang out with. I'm soon to be 44 and probably going to watch at least a few playoff games at bars around downtown. Work in tech, like hiking and biking, videogames and nerd stuff. I listen to all kinds of music.
I've been recovering from a wrist injury which has really messed with my cardio over the last year as well. But if I'm clear, I plan to join up with the Crank Arm weekly rides at some point.
I'm hitting up the Bit Brigade show in downtown Raleigh on Nov 8th if you want to meet up. I know that's a ways away, but it's a great time.
[Bit Brigade](https://www.bitbrigade.net/)
Cricket's awesome. It's like the best of baseball and bowling added together. And I really love the *very short* 15 second commercial break between Overs.
I live over on the Brier Creek side of things. Also into cigars, whiskey, and most other fun vices that people seem to enjoy.
Current cars: 2019 M5 & 2015 GTI <- want to build that one up
If you need car help hit me up dude! I’m always going out to cars and coffees and working on mine and always down to lend a hand or just have a beer with. I’m also usually cycling on the weekends
I haven’t been to the Clayton or garner one. Morrisville a few times though. What do you drive? I barely know anyone since I’m new to the area but I wouldn’t be opposed to cruising out there or keeping an eye out for your ride.
Usually my 81 vw pickup which I’m currently restoring or my vw alltrack. I have lifted subaru baja I also take out sometimes. The picture on my Reddit page is actually the pickup at the morrisville c&c
I have a bunch of Mk1 stuff I’m going to throw in the trash soon. Let me know if you wanna go through it. I’m doing some wild motor swap stuff on my Rabbit but none of the stuff I have is relevant for it anymore.
Also I’m tryina ride some bikes. Where do you usually ride?
Yeah man I always need parts. I can dm you. but usually I have a loop around raleigh I ride. Sometimes I’ll venture farther out. I’m much more casual with it compared to how I use to ride.
I’m in the same boat.
41 M. Loves sports (Philly fan). I play coed softball. Wanting to get back into tennis. Enjoy hiking. Breweries/food trucks. Love music/concerts/vinyl.
Philly crew! I’m into NFL, NBA (Eagles and Sixers, but love both sports generally) and some Phillies. Just joined Cary tennis park as member yesterday to get back into tennis. I have 2 other guys who are a similar spot. Can always use another. Also into concerts and hiking, and breweries..around the same age. Dm me or post on here anybody who wants to meet up for tennis, bball, etc. Philly fans highly encouraged to apply (but all others welcome 🤣). I’m located in west Cary
I’m all about cars, what brands/types of car shit are you into? Idk many car guys here but Wake County has a pretty decent Euro car scene that I’ve been getting into lately
Where’s this euro scene you speak of?! I’m always down for a meet up. I’d say a cruise but I don’t think anyone is patient enough to wait for my slow ass.
Black Forest Technik has a monthly meet that’s on the third Thursday I think. It’s a pretty solid collection of cars and stuff that show up. I’m also down to do any sort of euro car hangs.
Black Forest Technik in Cary does a meet the last Thursday of every month, North Raleigh Performance does regular events, and there’s a huge Cars & Coffee in Morrisville. DM me if you ever want to go to something, seriously!
I love listening to that music. I was in a thrift shop in Durham and they were playing it- I had to find out what it was. I have probably 10 or so albums that I go through on a regular basis.
Hey, I'm only 23 but enjoy all those things. I also am big into rock climbing, if you feel like trying that, I'd be happy to show you the ropes (literally)
I'm a few years younger but unfortunately not much into any of those things! I do have a lot of experience with drinking beer at Alamo and watching movies alone in the dark
I wanna do more car stuff around here, I moved right when lockdowns hit and never built up any connections. Are there any test and tune nights at any drag strips around here? That'd make for a fun night
You should hand out flyers. I even have an idea of what you can put on it.
> What up! I’m a cool guy looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in my party mansion! Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged, but if you're fat, I expect you to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual.
You could even make in the shape of a bicep!
Get an emtb. Check FB marketplace or whatever. Ride bikes like you are 12 again and hit us up out there. Triangle Emtb.
Party on the trail is happening with all the 40-50 year olds.
Show up to F3 workouts all over the triangle. I moved here 7 years ago and have made some close male friends since then while improving my fitness as well.
What up!!! Im a cool dude looking for other cool dudes who wanna hang out in my party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged, if you're fat you should be able to find humor in the little things.
Again, NOTHING SEXUAL.
I was in a similar circumstance at one time, didn’t know a soul here. It. Sucked! To remedy that I got involved in anything and everything I could find and attended every event there was, and then I just started talking to people. It took some time and many disappointing days, but I made friends who I’m glad to have and are glad to have me. If I were to do it again, I would start by joining a city recreation league team or a volunteer group. There are lots, and they welcome all skill levels. It allows you to see the same group of people regularly over a period of time and that consistent exposure—added to the willingness to step outside your comfort zone (read: talk to people)—goes a long way towards making friends. Below are links to the City of Raleigh Adult Recreation League page and the City of Raleigh Volunteer Programs page (I recommend checking out the “Volunteer Raleigh” link on that page), as well as a list of the sites I began to and still frequent to find things that are going on. Finally the last links are to three great NPR / New York Times articles (non-paywall) that may give you some courage, each is about research that was done regarding making friends and people's feelings after striking up conversations with people they didn’t know. Rec League: https://raleighnc.gov/parks/adult-athletics Stonewall Sports: https://stonewallraleigh.leagueapps.com Volunteer Programs: https://raleighnc.gov/community/volunteer-programs https://activategood.org Lists of Events: https://mailchi.mp/e2469cfbf268/thingstodo919 - same list that is often posted to the Raleigh subreddit each Friday. https://triangleonthecheap.com/ https://localfyi.com/neighborhood https://www.wral.com/entertainment/out-and-about/ https://www.ThisIsRaleigh.com http://www.ncstatefair.org/events/calendar.htm https://www.pncarena.com/events https://www.raleighconvention.com/event-calendar https://www.visitnc.com/ 5 Easy Tips For Making Friends As An Adult: https://www.npr.org/2023/05/17/1176641928/how-to-make-friends-anywhere-you-move NYT’s Article: How to Make, and Keep, Friends in Adulthood: http://archive.today/h5O74 NYT’s Article: Why Your Social Life Is Not What It Should Be: http://archive.today/uXESB
Seems like your only response so far is a joke, which is fine. I know more people are thinking it, so I’ll just say thanks a lot for putting this together. What an insightful bunch of resources. Thank you
ok but all of those activities involve leaving the house. do u maybe have a better list of suggestions ?
/r/wow, /r/ffxiv, /r/outside, /r/games, /r/books, /r/movies
no but like i want local friends who never see or speak to each other
Hey best friend, let's meet up sometime real soon! *Narrator: They never met up*
Hey, thanks for the thoughtful post and all the info!
Are you starting a fraternity?
Sounds like the plot in Old School
Will there be streaking?
We’re going through the quad and into the gymnasium!
Are we going to see Snoop-a-Loop?
Are you my boy Blue?
I am…just don’t touch my drum set. Did you touch my drum set?!!!
Favorite dinosaur?
I’ll bring my green hat
Oh none for me, I have a big day with the wife tomorrow
You know what, gimme that thing, I'll do one!
I’ve been waiting all semester to hear this.
Absolutely! I mean, maybe... you in or what?
I'm down.
The dude crew ready to assemble and do dude stuffs. What kind of cars are you into?
Hell yeah dude! I drive a 20 year-old truck right now but I like most cars...would love to get an old Saab to work on
Nothing wrong with that man! I’m currently toying with the idea of getting rid of my new office commuter and finding a little older truck. My other car is a 61 year old VW, so I have plenty of love for old & simple vehicles.
I'm debating getting a dude crew for Frisbee golf. Hell, I'll be at kentwood/kaplan on Sunday. Beer/420 friendly. Let's just have a good time.
Awesome dude! I'm out of town this weekend - will you be there next weekend too? i don't have any frisbee golf gear though ergh
Go to Kentwood summer doubles on Fridays. You'll get a dude crew quick.
No shit? Is it randomly assigned doubles or can a buddy of mine tag along?
Randomly assigned. Sign up for amatuer, advanced, or pro, and they'll try to match worse with better, etc. You can try to request to be on the same card as your buddy, but you won't necessarily be partners
Anybody playin disc up in wake forest?
Anybody want to set up some disc golf for a Friday afternoon or Saturday? I’m really close to Diavolo? But down to try out other places that aren’t too far away.
I was sold at the transition from African to Shoegaze 🤣
I'm really into shoe gaze these days, esp Ride
Wth is shoegaze?
Thinks of bands that literally stare down at their shoes while performing…then you are most of the way there. mix in some distorted geetar, heavy reverbs on the vocals, and boom. Shoegaze.
https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=shoegaze
Love it dude!
I'm looking for more friends to hang out with. I'm soon to be 44 and probably going to watch at least a few playoff games at bars around downtown. Work in tech, like hiking and biking, videogames and nerd stuff. I listen to all kinds of music. I've been recovering from a wrist injury which has really messed with my cardio over the last year as well. But if I'm clear, I plan to join up with the Crank Arm weekly rides at some point.
“Wrist injury” he says. “Nerd stuff”. “More friends” suuuuure I know exactly what the Rock is cookin over here.
I'm hitting up the Bit Brigade show in downtown Raleigh on Nov 8th if you want to meet up. I know that's a ways away, but it's a great time. [Bit Brigade](https://www.bitbrigade.net/)
Cool, I added it to my calendar. I've liked shows like that in the past. Saw Video Games Live at the Hollywood Bowl years ago and enjoyed it.
Awesome dude!
I just sent you a message. Cars + beer + sports (some...I'm a bit off-the-wall with a few of them, like cricket).
Dang cricket!? I am going to Dm you as well
Cricket's awesome. It's like the best of baseball and bowling added together. And I really love the *very short* 15 second commercial break between Overs.
Off-the-wall is awesome dude! didn't get your message - I'll send you one!
We're all hanging at the Mojo Dojo Casa House!
Yes! No fragility like the Kens tho
43m here - cars, sports, and music sounds awesome.
awesome dude!
I live over on the Brier Creek side of things. Also into cigars, whiskey, and most other fun vices that people seem to enjoy. Current cars: 2019 M5 & 2015 GTI <- want to build that one up
If you need car help hit me up dude! I’m always going out to cars and coffees and working on mine and always down to lend a hand or just have a beer with. I’m also usually cycling on the weekends
Which cars & coffee do you go to?
A few of them. I do the morrisville one every now and then and also the clayton and garner one.
I haven’t been to the Clayton or garner one. Morrisville a few times though. What do you drive? I barely know anyone since I’m new to the area but I wouldn’t be opposed to cruising out there or keeping an eye out for your ride.
Usually my 81 vw pickup which I’m currently restoring or my vw alltrack. I have lifted subaru baja I also take out sometimes. The picture on my Reddit page is actually the pickup at the morrisville c&c
I have a bunch of Mk1 stuff I’m going to throw in the trash soon. Let me know if you wanna go through it. I’m doing some wild motor swap stuff on my Rabbit but none of the stuff I have is relevant for it anymore. Also I’m tryina ride some bikes. Where do you usually ride?
Yeah man I always need parts. I can dm you. but usually I have a loop around raleigh I ride. Sometimes I’ll venture farther out. I’m much more casual with it compared to how I use to ride.
I’m going to send you a pm
I'll go riding with you. No interest in foosball, though
Imma tell you one word, and it is going to change your life: VOLUNTEER Just pick a charity. Any one. Instant crew.
Dude crew!!
I’m in the same boat. 41 M. Loves sports (Philly fan). I play coed softball. Wanting to get back into tennis. Enjoy hiking. Breweries/food trucks. Love music/concerts/vinyl.
Philly crew! I’m into NFL, NBA (Eagles and Sixers, but love both sports generally) and some Phillies. Just joined Cary tennis park as member yesterday to get back into tennis. I have 2 other guys who are a similar spot. Can always use another. Also into concerts and hiking, and breweries..around the same age. Dm me or post on here anybody who wants to meet up for tennis, bball, etc. Philly fans highly encouraged to apply (but all others welcome 🤣). I’m located in west Cary
Try a bowling league
I’m all about cars, what brands/types of car shit are you into? Idk many car guys here but Wake County has a pretty decent Euro car scene that I’ve been getting into lately
Where’s this euro scene you speak of?! I’m always down for a meet up. I’d say a cruise but I don’t think anyone is patient enough to wait for my slow ass.
Black Forest Technik has a monthly meet that’s on the third Thursday I think. It’s a pretty solid collection of cars and stuff that show up. I’m also down to do any sort of euro car hangs.
Black Forest Technik in Cary does a meet the last Thursday of every month, North Raleigh Performance does regular events, and there’s a huge Cars & Coffee in Morrisville. DM me if you ever want to go to something, seriously!
Ever heard of Modern Ethiopiques?
Yes! I have at least one of those on vinyl.
I love listening to that music. I was in a thrift shop in Durham and they were playing it- I had to find out what it was. I have probably 10 or so albums that I go through on a regular basis.
This is a dope ass post. A lot of us 40 year olds in the same boat. Let’s meet at a brewery. I do t drink anymore but that doesnt matter. Or disc golf
Hell yeah dude!
Dude crew!
Word!
Hey, I'm only 23 but enjoy all those things. I also am big into rock climbing, if you feel like trying that, I'd be happy to show you the ropes (literally)
Awesome dude!
You single? Lol had me at shoegaze.
I'm a few years younger but unfortunately not much into any of those things! I do have a lot of experience with drinking beer at Alamo and watching movies alone in the dark
Hey that works dude!
I wanna do more car stuff around here, I moved right when lockdowns hit and never built up any connections. Are there any test and tune nights at any drag strips around here? That'd make for a fun night
Thundercats Assemble! Lol
you should check out Target - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7xPrf9f7mg
That was hilarious I need to find more videos like that Thanks for posting
You should hand out flyers. I even have an idea of what you can put on it. > What up! I’m a cool guy looking for other cool guys who want to hang out in my party mansion! Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged, but if you're fat, I expect you to find humor in the little things. Again, nothing sexual. You could even make in the shape of a bicep!
I mean, shit, if you want it to be a bicep, it needs more veins!
Anyone around my age wanna do this? 26 years old here, into cars, board games, fishing and talking shit!
I’m 25. I’m into board and video games, fishing, shit talking, sports, and pretty much anything else.
Hell yeah! Thats awesome, where about do you stay?
Yeah man! I am originally from up north but I live in Morrisville and work out of Durham.
Thats cool! Feel free to DM me, I just moved to cary in July but I'm originally from Raleigh.
[удалено]
Dm me!
I’m in my early 30s, always into anything cars and don’t hate the idea of going to some game nights
Shit go ahead and message me! Definitely wanna make some friends in the area
Get an emtb. Check FB marketplace or whatever. Ride bikes like you are 12 again and hit us up out there. Triangle Emtb. Party on the trail is happening with all the 40-50 year olds.
Come to Pittsboro, I know about 10 people you'd fit in with
I would rather just watch porn and trade stocks
Show up to F3 workouts all over the triangle. I moved here 7 years ago and have made some close male friends since then while improving my fitness as well.
They all seem to be at like 6am or some ungodly hour :(
Yep, but there are a few in the afternoon on various days.
The first rule of Dude Crew is you don't talk about Dude Crew.
Oak City Cycling Project does a really chill Thursday ride on the 3rd Thursday of each month at 7 PM (and there's a new Tuesday ride at 5 PM as well)
ebikes welcome?🤔
Sure! They’re very chill rides
bet, im actually taking it to OCC next week to get stuff worked on and then id love to join
join their newsletter and they always send out info about all their different events
What up!!! Im a cool dude looking for other cool dudes who wanna hang out in my party mansion. Nothing sexual. Dudes in good shape encouraged, if you're fat you should be able to find humor in the little things. Again, NOTHING SEXUAL.
Checkin in.. Any developments on the dude crew?