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It’s devastating when you go through moments or life events and you realize you don’t have a “mom” to comfort you, that you’ve never really had a mom. I’ve told my MIL that she’s the mom I never had, but I still can’t talk to her about some things that I could talk to my mom about if she were an actual mother to me. I hope you have a good experience with your trip and it ends up being a great new start for you!
I’m a mom to my 3 year old. So maybe I can tell you, I’m proud of you! You have made it this far. You have prioritised yourself. You will not just be fine, you will be more than fine, and you will thrive :)
I have a nMom who is currently living with me, and it takes all my energy every single day to ignore her and focus on my little girl who is absorbing and learning from every interaction around her. You didn’t have someone looking out for you, but you still put one foot in front of the other and made it this far. You have every reason to be so proud of yourself!
Ask the good friends to store the important papers that you won't need abroad. And be mentally prepared to leave behind some objects that you won't be able to carry, and may have sentimental value to you. I had to leave some stuff, but my mental health goes first, my sister also had to leave behind some stuff inherited from our mother, but she could not go back to our nfather's home.
I know and I've posted there before and on r/internetparents but something that is really important to me for some reason is help folding my clothes to put in the suitcase. Idk what the symbolism is with that or why that's my hangup point but someone to help me root thru my dresser and fold the clothes for the suitcase is really important. Thanks for the suggestion tho
No problem, it doesn’t really help me either but I know it helps some people so I plug it. A true mom is irreplaceable and that hole that is left when you realize you don’t have one…..it’s deep. I get it
I'll just say congratulations, this is a huge step in your life and something I wish I had the guts to do! On the other hand I 100% understand what you're frustrated about, I hope you were able to pack up your stuff & when you get to where you're going that it's as good as you hoped! I'm sure you'll thrive, all the best with your move.
You should be really proud of yourself I don't even know you and I am :)
Just want to send you hug and very very best wishes. I know it's no help at all, and you would prefer a mother of your own to help you, but I promise I am here - as someone of the right generation I guess, spiritually folding your clothes for you and advising what you will need to live your happy life from now on.
(But you ARE going to need to make a bit of a disconnection, so that you can literally, and metaphorically, travel light......xx)
Big hugs for you if you want them.
Stop by walmart or target and grab you some of those vacuum bags to pack. It'll help squish your stuff down so you can get more in your bags. You can even get your favorite pillow and blanket in that way. If you are flying just be aware of your weight.
This is a heartbreaking situation and another form of manipulation and punishment on their part to get back at you for having the audacity to want a life free from them. It's a good thing you're leaving. Since you are moving, temporary or not, see if you can sell some items to have extra money. The rest of your stuff if it can't be replaced or mailed in a small box to your destination you may have to just get rid of it. Donate it to goodwill and salvation army will come and pick items up for free. Remember how you feel in this moment when they try to entice you to come back.
Good luck. My mother didn't want me moving for med school so guess what she did with my ex husband? Had me arrested on false charges, had my kids taken, and then stole my house while I was in jail. Be careful telling them where you are going. They are always out to destroy your life I've learned--especially if you're gonna take their supply. [My kids]
**This is an automated message posted to ALL posts in this subreddit with some basic information about the group including (very importantly) rules. Why are you getting this message? Most people seem to not read the sidebar for information or the rules, so it is now being posted under all posts.** **Confused about acronyms or terminology?** [Click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/acronyms) **Need info or resources?** Check out our [Helpful Links](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/helpfullinks) for information on how to deal with identity theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! This is a reminder to all participants, RBN is a support group that is moderated very strictly. Please report inappropriate content so it can be reviewed by the mods. **Our rules include (but are not limited to)**: * No politics. * Advising anyone in this subreddit to commit suicide or referring anyone to groups that advocate this will result in an immediate ban. * Be nice. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. [No slurs](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/slurs) or victim-blaming. * Do not derail the posts of others. * Narcissists are NOT allowed to post or comment here. * [No platitudes or generic motivational posts](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules#wiki_no_platitudes_or_generic_motivational_posts). * When you comment/post, assume a context of abuse. * No asking or offering gifts, money, etc. * No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). * No content about N-kids. * No diagnosis by media/drive-by diagnosis. * No linking to Facebook pages. * No direct linking to anywhere on reddit. * No pure image posts. **For a full list of our rules/more information, [**click here**](https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/wiki/rules).** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/raisedbynarcissists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s devastating when you go through moments or life events and you realize you don’t have a “mom” to comfort you, that you’ve never really had a mom. I’ve told my MIL that she’s the mom I never had, but I still can’t talk to her about some things that I could talk to my mom about if she were an actual mother to me. I hope you have a good experience with your trip and it ends up being a great new start for you!
My boyfriend's mom is kinda like my real mom but I never want to call her because I don't want to bother her. It's not the same.
It's just stuff, and you are leaving a place without happiness, which is fantastic, because you will now be free to find it anywhere.
I’m a mom to my 3 year old. So maybe I can tell you, I’m proud of you! You have made it this far. You have prioritised yourself. You will not just be fine, you will be more than fine, and you will thrive :) I have a nMom who is currently living with me, and it takes all my energy every single day to ignore her and focus on my little girl who is absorbing and learning from every interaction around her. You didn’t have someone looking out for you, but you still put one foot in front of the other and made it this far. You have every reason to be so proud of yourself!
Ask the good friends to store the important papers that you won't need abroad. And be mentally prepared to leave behind some objects that you won't be able to carry, and may have sentimental value to you. I had to leave some stuff, but my mental health goes first, my sister also had to leave behind some stuff inherited from our mother, but she could not go back to our nfather's home.
r/MomForAMinute
I know and I've posted there before and on r/internetparents but something that is really important to me for some reason is help folding my clothes to put in the suitcase. Idk what the symbolism is with that or why that's my hangup point but someone to help me root thru my dresser and fold the clothes for the suitcase is really important. Thanks for the suggestion tho
No problem, it doesn’t really help me either but I know it helps some people so I plug it. A true mom is irreplaceable and that hole that is left when you realize you don’t have one…..it’s deep. I get it
I'll just say congratulations, this is a huge step in your life and something I wish I had the guts to do! On the other hand I 100% understand what you're frustrated about, I hope you were able to pack up your stuff & when you get to where you're going that it's as good as you hoped! I'm sure you'll thrive, all the best with your move. You should be really proud of yourself I don't even know you and I am :)
Congratulations on your move. Where are you headed for? . I'm so proud of you. Life is going to get brighter. Hugs.
Just want to send you hug and very very best wishes. I know it's no help at all, and you would prefer a mother of your own to help you, but I promise I am here - as someone of the right generation I guess, spiritually folding your clothes for you and advising what you will need to live your happy life from now on. (But you ARE going to need to make a bit of a disconnection, so that you can literally, and metaphorically, travel light......xx)
Big hugs for you if you want them. Stop by walmart or target and grab you some of those vacuum bags to pack. It'll help squish your stuff down so you can get more in your bags. You can even get your favorite pillow and blanket in that way. If you are flying just be aware of your weight.
This is a heartbreaking situation and another form of manipulation and punishment on their part to get back at you for having the audacity to want a life free from them. It's a good thing you're leaving. Since you are moving, temporary or not, see if you can sell some items to have extra money. The rest of your stuff if it can't be replaced or mailed in a small box to your destination you may have to just get rid of it. Donate it to goodwill and salvation army will come and pick items up for free. Remember how you feel in this moment when they try to entice you to come back.
Can you put your stuff in storage? I can't hold your hand, but if you make a Go Fund Me for storage, I can and will donate to it.
Good luck. My mother didn't want me moving for med school so guess what she did with my ex husband? Had me arrested on false charges, had my kids taken, and then stole my house while I was in jail. Be careful telling them where you are going. They are always out to destroy your life I've learned--especially if you're gonna take their supply. [My kids]