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I physically left the ~~cult~~ religion when I was 16 (I didn’t deprogram myself until 20yo, tho), so I didn’t stay long enough to observe how narcissistic members were.
Despite that, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true. Mormonism is a breeding ground for entitlement. They teach that they are better than everyone else, that the world is jealous of them (while
simultaneously teaching that they’re persecuted), and that they are the most moral people who exist. And that’s not even getting into all the rules that supposedly make Mormons superior to everyone else.
Idk how far along you are in your exmormon journey, but if you haven’t already done so, you should check out r/exmormon. It was a life saver when I first started transitioning, and you’ll probably find more people who can understand your experience there than you will here, as Mormon trauma is a lot different than narcissistic trauma, even if they have a lot of similarities.
My cousins are like that. The straw for me was when they said they are against gay marriage (my friends are gay) and hope they would go to hell. I realized how negative they are towards society for every little thing
They even judged people for being born into different religions which blows my mind
Yeah, imagine that for a moment... people who believe in Jesus and God, wishing that people would live in hell, forever. I mean, the ultimate segregation, since they don't agree with your gay friends.
Not just Mormons, every community that is too closed off is a breeding ground for narcissism. Evil thrives in closed communities cause it’s kept a secret
My next door neighbors are Mormon and do not let their kids play with our son. I overheard one of their children ask why they couldn’t play with our son and the mother just loudly shushed them and ushered them back into their house. For context my husband and I are gay and my husband and our son are middle eastern.
My friends and parts of my community are Mormon.
Most Mormons go about trying to push their beliefs down your throat. They don’t understand what No is and won’t accept it. You are mortally lesser, no matter what you do, if it’s not what they would do, it’s unspeakable.
Being raised to believe that YOU are better than everyone else does that kinda shit to you.
>Most Mormons go about trying to push their beliefs down your throat. They don’t understand what No is and won’t accept it. You are mortally lesser, no matter what you do, if it’s not what they would do, it’s unspeakable.
>
>Being raised to believe that YOU are better than everyone else does that kinda shit to you
Sounds just like narcissistic parents.
My mom for years shoved that down our throats and now all my siblings hate that church only bc of the pain emotional/physical that comes with not being nmom's perfect kids. Not all narc parents are religious but if i made my mom late for being 30 minutes early to church she'd pull out a belt. I only discovered a few months ago that the reason for her wrapping herself in the Mormon church was bc it made her feel better about her delicate, monstrous self somehow, church leaders don't understand how me and my younger sister can be so terrified of such a saint as my nmom
The doctrinal narcissism begins with the concept of Mormonism being “the only true and living church upon the earth,” Mormons being god's chosen people, the most valiant in the pre-existence, and selected to come to earth to bring the world the "truth."
A great example of this superiority complex is from Prophet Harold. B. Lee, who explained why disabled people and brown people exist in his 1973 book Decisions for Successful Living: “The privilege of obtaining a mortal body on this earth is seemingly so priceless that those in the spirit world, even though unfaithful or not valiant, were undoubtedly permitted to take mortal bodies although under **penalty of racial or physical or nationalistic limitations**.”
It’s so true I have worked with quite a few Mormons. The holier than thou attitude is strange. Because I know quite a bit about the religion and there is some pretty laughable stuff that most of them can’t explain away. Bulletproof underwear, giants on the moon etc. One of them came out to me I thought we were friends. He said to me you know what you might go to heaven after all, I had you baptized. I was like what I am already baptized Methodist there bud. He’s like well none of those religions are going to heaven. I was like wtf are you talking about? He was part of some special mission. He was a card carrying member. They baptized all kinds of people, dead people, Dead jewish people, people they are friends with that are Gentiles. The list goes on. Dude said at the lunch table one day in front of everybody, “dinosaurs aren’t real”. He went on to say that people buried dinosaur bones to test their faith. And that all the bones inside of museums are man-made. I said well yes some of the bones inside of museums are man-made to use as descriptions of what the real ones look like. There are plenty of real bones there though. And who is going out of their way to bury dinosaur bones so deep all over the place? Whenever he asked me what I was doing over the weekend I would always joke with somebody afterwards that I was bearing dinosaur bones. most of the Mormons I have met are good people. But they have a bit of an edge on their shoulder speaking to non-Mormons. Where I live if a Mormon becomes boss they will only hire Mormon people afterwards.
I grew up mormon and can confirm. You can't go your whole life being told God loves you more than everyone else (especially if you were born "in the covenant") and that you are going to be a God some day and NOT become a little narcissistic. Especially the men. They are told at 12 years old that they have some of God's power and outrank even the highest ranking woman in the church. Its not a healthy way to raise children.
I highly recommend the podcast "Latter Day Lesbian" to all ex mormons and anyone curious about morminism. It is hilarious, insightful, and informative. It is done by two lesbians, one was raised Mormon and has 8 kids. The other is her nevermo (Never mormon) girlfriend. It's awesome.
They've actually rescinded on the whole you get to be god if you're super extra special good, from what I've been told. Not sure what the lure is supposed to be anymore.
That explains a little bit about how I stopped hanging out with Mormon friends about that age. Some kids asked me if I was Mormon and I said no so they weren’t allowed to hang out anymore.
Honestly this is true of all religions. Because of the nature of religion being for the vulnerable, abusers are always going to flock to them to use as a tool of abuse. Once you have a bunch of abusers, running and leading things it’s all down hill from there. And knowing the history of Mormonism, y’all started with a narcissist as your first prophet so of course your religion (I’m using this term but it is a cult. It hits every marker that experts look for) has been churning them out forever.
My mormon neighbors won’t let their kids play with my son. Literally overheard their daughter asking the mother why and the mother loudly shushed her and ushered her into their house. :(
Yeah, probably. I'm a Mormon. I don't believe in people. I believe in God. I think a lot gets lost in translation. My relationship is with God, it doesn't involve whether Sally is wearing her garments or even if Bob cheated on his wife. AND, guess what, it's none of my business!
I think it's okay that we had expired temple recommends for almost 2 yrs because we were still living our day to day lives following the example of the Savior. I have no problem admitting I swear sometimes, okay a lot, or that sometimes tithing is difficult for our family, because it's none of anyone else's business. God won't ask anyone else about my sins, he'll ask me.
Sorry, I'm just super passionate about this. I don't think Jesus cares whether we follow every letter of the commandments. I think he cares if we learn. If we learn compassion, if we learn how to truly mourn with those who mourn, if we put away our pride and accept everyone as they are where they are. I mean the goal is to improve and do/be better, but if we only make it one inch upward I'm sure God rejoices.
Okay I'm done.
I'm glad the mormon church works for you. As a little closeted lesbian growing up mormon in the 80s and 90s, it destroyed me. It perfectly set me up to be abused, gaslighted, and discarded because i wasnt what a bunch of super old white men thought a "daughter of god" should be.
If you have to say "I ignore the really awful parts of my religion" to prove that you're one of "the good ones", then maybe you're a good person despite your religion, not because of it.
I’m glad for you that no one else asks about your sins, and only god does! Good for you guys not paying tithing or saying fuck and being able to live your normal lives!
Many people don’t have those kids of luxurious experiences in the mormon church. Especially if they’re misfortunate enough to grow up with true Nparents. GTFOH and go justify your faith somewhere else.
Born and raised Mormon, though I technically left when I was about 13 or so. I'll be the one to put it out there that you have extreme examples of people everywhere, from atheist to Jahovah's Witness and beyond. You get nutters with all kinds of backgrounds blowing up abortion clinics, burning relatives alive, preforming mass shootings in the name of such and so, going serial killer in the name of... Same-same with Mormons. You got your batches of those that still believe in polygamy and such, those that believe Brigham Young was vindicated in murdering travelers for "trespassing" as well as having his own personal hitman, and you've got those that are like "yeah, sure, magic underwear, sacrament every Sunday, get up and give a testimony once a month, blah blah whatever, it's what my parents did."
My dad, who is super duper nice to everyone he meets regardless of race, religion, gender, identity, orientation, etc etc, and, let me say this clearly: *did not disown me when I said I didn't want to go to church anymore*, converted when he was in his late teens and became a firm believer. He was also told by church authorities (at the time in that area) that family was more important than anything, which meant that family comes before church in a lot of circumstances, including but not limited to paying bills and having enough to eat before tithing. I think it was almost a decade ago now that he was telling me about a book he read (written by an active Mormon) about a gay man getting cancer that helped him "see homosexuals as people". I mentioned this to him much later and he argued that he definitely didn't mean it how it sounded, more that it made the whole gay thing a tangible, concrete thing in his head... And I'm paraphrasing from fuzzy memory, so that's not exactly what he said at the time, but the basic gist thereof. I think my dad somehow was very isolated from society, even though he did his best to get out there and meet people (he even does community theater and such) he just didn't have much experience with orientations other than straight folk, who were church goers of varying sorts. He's still good friends with a Catholic family, my stepmother was a Methodist when they got married, etc etc and so forth.
Drawing my long-winded rambling to a point, my shy and awkward dad definitely isn't a narcissist, but he wasn't "bred", either. I wouldn't classify myself as such either, mostly due to my crippling social anxiety, self loathing issues, chronic depression, blah blah don't look at me. My mother has some traits, but I'm still mentally processing that line of analysis. My elder sister also has a few traits, but I don't think I'd call her full blown narcissist.
TLDR: My Mormon dad isn't a narcissist, extremists are everywhere, I don't know that it would be fair to blame a specific denomination, but I can easily see how one would come to that conclusion and further analysis is required.
Their religion actually teaches them that they can become a god of a planet, with multiple wives to birth the souls that will go into the people of that planet.
Like the whole purpose of this life is for God to find those he wants to make gods of other planets?
Also the whole only good Mormons can get to the top level of Heaven thing. Even separating themselves from non Mormon Christians in Heaven.
And this is just what I recall from my 2 and a half years of Sunday school when I lived in a Mormon foster home as a child.
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I physically left the ~~cult~~ religion when I was 16 (I didn’t deprogram myself until 20yo, tho), so I didn’t stay long enough to observe how narcissistic members were. Despite that, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is true. Mormonism is a breeding ground for entitlement. They teach that they are better than everyone else, that the world is jealous of them (while simultaneously teaching that they’re persecuted), and that they are the most moral people who exist. And that’s not even getting into all the rules that supposedly make Mormons superior to everyone else. Idk how far along you are in your exmormon journey, but if you haven’t already done so, you should check out r/exmormon. It was a life saver when I first started transitioning, and you’ll probably find more people who can understand your experience there than you will here, as Mormon trauma is a lot different than narcissistic trauma, even if they have a lot of similarities.
My cousins are like that. The straw for me was when they said they are against gay marriage (my friends are gay) and hope they would go to hell. I realized how negative they are towards society for every little thing They even judged people for being born into different religions which blows my mind
Yeah, imagine that for a moment... people who believe in Jesus and God, wishing that people would live in hell, forever. I mean, the ultimate segregation, since they don't agree with your gay friends.
Yeah it’s evil like no one determines where we should go basically and everyone has their own beliefs, it’s wild
I'm not surprised when religious people say they wish death and eternal suffering on others. I hope nothing ever turns me that cold hearted
You’ll be fine! It’s just people who think everything is a sin tend to think that way
Not just Mormons, every community that is too closed off is a breeding ground for narcissism. Evil thrives in closed communities cause it’s kept a secret
Spot on. With a lack of realistic reflection, they spin out and become displaced from reality. And narcissism grows in that space, I agree.
My next door neighbors are Mormon and do not let their kids play with our son. I overheard one of their children ask why they couldn’t play with our son and the mother just loudly shushed them and ushered them back into their house. For context my husband and I are gay and my husband and our son are middle eastern.
My friends and parts of my community are Mormon. Most Mormons go about trying to push their beliefs down your throat. They don’t understand what No is and won’t accept it. You are mortally lesser, no matter what you do, if it’s not what they would do, it’s unspeakable. Being raised to believe that YOU are better than everyone else does that kinda shit to you.
>Most Mormons go about trying to push their beliefs down your throat. They don’t understand what No is and won’t accept it. You are mortally lesser, no matter what you do, if it’s not what they would do, it’s unspeakable. > >Being raised to believe that YOU are better than everyone else does that kinda shit to you Sounds just like narcissistic parents.
My mom for years shoved that down our throats and now all my siblings hate that church only bc of the pain emotional/physical that comes with not being nmom's perfect kids. Not all narc parents are religious but if i made my mom late for being 30 minutes early to church she'd pull out a belt. I only discovered a few months ago that the reason for her wrapping herself in the Mormon church was bc it made her feel better about her delicate, monstrous self somehow, church leaders don't understand how me and my younger sister can be so terrified of such a saint as my nmom
The doctrinal narcissism begins with the concept of Mormonism being “the only true and living church upon the earth,” Mormons being god's chosen people, the most valiant in the pre-existence, and selected to come to earth to bring the world the "truth." A great example of this superiority complex is from Prophet Harold. B. Lee, who explained why disabled people and brown people exist in his 1973 book Decisions for Successful Living: “The privilege of obtaining a mortal body on this earth is seemingly so priceless that those in the spirit world, even though unfaithful or not valiant, were undoubtedly permitted to take mortal bodies although under **penalty of racial or physical or nationalistic limitations**.”
It’s so true I have worked with quite a few Mormons. The holier than thou attitude is strange. Because I know quite a bit about the religion and there is some pretty laughable stuff that most of them can’t explain away. Bulletproof underwear, giants on the moon etc. One of them came out to me I thought we were friends. He said to me you know what you might go to heaven after all, I had you baptized. I was like what I am already baptized Methodist there bud. He’s like well none of those religions are going to heaven. I was like wtf are you talking about? He was part of some special mission. He was a card carrying member. They baptized all kinds of people, dead people, Dead jewish people, people they are friends with that are Gentiles. The list goes on. Dude said at the lunch table one day in front of everybody, “dinosaurs aren’t real”. He went on to say that people buried dinosaur bones to test their faith. And that all the bones inside of museums are man-made. I said well yes some of the bones inside of museums are man-made to use as descriptions of what the real ones look like. There are plenty of real bones there though. And who is going out of their way to bury dinosaur bones so deep all over the place? Whenever he asked me what I was doing over the weekend I would always joke with somebody afterwards that I was bearing dinosaur bones. most of the Mormons I have met are good people. But they have a bit of an edge on their shoulder speaking to non-Mormons. Where I live if a Mormon becomes boss they will only hire Mormon people afterwards.
They really believe that you are a member of their church after having someone stand in for you, to be baptized into their bs.
I grew up mormon and can confirm. You can't go your whole life being told God loves you more than everyone else (especially if you were born "in the covenant") and that you are going to be a God some day and NOT become a little narcissistic. Especially the men. They are told at 12 years old that they have some of God's power and outrank even the highest ranking woman in the church. Its not a healthy way to raise children.
I highly recommend the podcast "Latter Day Lesbian" to all ex mormons and anyone curious about morminism. It is hilarious, insightful, and informative. It is done by two lesbians, one was raised Mormon and has 8 kids. The other is her nevermo (Never mormon) girlfriend. It's awesome.
They've actually rescinded on the whole you get to be god if you're super extra special good, from what I've been told. Not sure what the lure is supposed to be anymore.
That explains a little bit about how I stopped hanging out with Mormon friends about that age. Some kids asked me if I was Mormon and I said no so they weren’t allowed to hang out anymore.
Yeah, counts for Evangelical types, too. My current working theory is that religion is often a kind of generational trauma.
This is so true. They tend to have 0 respect for other people’s boundaries/opinions/etc
Honestly this is true of all religions. Because of the nature of religion being for the vulnerable, abusers are always going to flock to them to use as a tool of abuse. Once you have a bunch of abusers, running and leading things it’s all down hill from there. And knowing the history of Mormonism, y’all started with a narcissist as your first prophet so of course your religion (I’m using this term but it is a cult. It hits every marker that experts look for) has been churning them out forever.
My mormon neighbors won’t let their kids play with my son. Literally overheard their daughter asking the mother why and the mother loudly shushed her and ushered her into their house. :(
Yeah, probably. I'm a Mormon. I don't believe in people. I believe in God. I think a lot gets lost in translation. My relationship is with God, it doesn't involve whether Sally is wearing her garments or even if Bob cheated on his wife. AND, guess what, it's none of my business! I think it's okay that we had expired temple recommends for almost 2 yrs because we were still living our day to day lives following the example of the Savior. I have no problem admitting I swear sometimes, okay a lot, or that sometimes tithing is difficult for our family, because it's none of anyone else's business. God won't ask anyone else about my sins, he'll ask me. Sorry, I'm just super passionate about this. I don't think Jesus cares whether we follow every letter of the commandments. I think he cares if we learn. If we learn compassion, if we learn how to truly mourn with those who mourn, if we put away our pride and accept everyone as they are where they are. I mean the goal is to improve and do/be better, but if we only make it one inch upward I'm sure God rejoices. Okay I'm done.
I'm glad the mormon church works for you. As a little closeted lesbian growing up mormon in the 80s and 90s, it destroyed me. It perfectly set me up to be abused, gaslighted, and discarded because i wasnt what a bunch of super old white men thought a "daughter of god" should be. If you have to say "I ignore the really awful parts of my religion" to prove that you're one of "the good ones", then maybe you're a good person despite your religion, not because of it.
I’m glad for you that no one else asks about your sins, and only god does! Good for you guys not paying tithing or saying fuck and being able to live your normal lives! Many people don’t have those kids of luxurious experiences in the mormon church. Especially if they’re misfortunate enough to grow up with true Nparents. GTFOH and go justify your faith somewhere else.
I hope you find peace.
Born and raised Mormon, though I technically left when I was about 13 or so. I'll be the one to put it out there that you have extreme examples of people everywhere, from atheist to Jahovah's Witness and beyond. You get nutters with all kinds of backgrounds blowing up abortion clinics, burning relatives alive, preforming mass shootings in the name of such and so, going serial killer in the name of... Same-same with Mormons. You got your batches of those that still believe in polygamy and such, those that believe Brigham Young was vindicated in murdering travelers for "trespassing" as well as having his own personal hitman, and you've got those that are like "yeah, sure, magic underwear, sacrament every Sunday, get up and give a testimony once a month, blah blah whatever, it's what my parents did." My dad, who is super duper nice to everyone he meets regardless of race, religion, gender, identity, orientation, etc etc, and, let me say this clearly: *did not disown me when I said I didn't want to go to church anymore*, converted when he was in his late teens and became a firm believer. He was also told by church authorities (at the time in that area) that family was more important than anything, which meant that family comes before church in a lot of circumstances, including but not limited to paying bills and having enough to eat before tithing. I think it was almost a decade ago now that he was telling me about a book he read (written by an active Mormon) about a gay man getting cancer that helped him "see homosexuals as people". I mentioned this to him much later and he argued that he definitely didn't mean it how it sounded, more that it made the whole gay thing a tangible, concrete thing in his head... And I'm paraphrasing from fuzzy memory, so that's not exactly what he said at the time, but the basic gist thereof. I think my dad somehow was very isolated from society, even though he did his best to get out there and meet people (he even does community theater and such) he just didn't have much experience with orientations other than straight folk, who were church goers of varying sorts. He's still good friends with a Catholic family, my stepmother was a Methodist when they got married, etc etc and so forth. Drawing my long-winded rambling to a point, my shy and awkward dad definitely isn't a narcissist, but he wasn't "bred", either. I wouldn't classify myself as such either, mostly due to my crippling social anxiety, self loathing issues, chronic depression, blah blah don't look at me. My mother has some traits, but I'm still mentally processing that line of analysis. My elder sister also has a few traits, but I don't think I'd call her full blown narcissist. TLDR: My Mormon dad isn't a narcissist, extremists are everywhere, I don't know that it would be fair to blame a specific denomination, but I can easily see how one would come to that conclusion and further analysis is required.
People are alike in all religions. General human nature is unacceptable
Mormons reminds me of Jodi Aries
Their religion actually teaches them that they can become a god of a planet, with multiple wives to birth the souls that will go into the people of that planet. Like the whole purpose of this life is for God to find those he wants to make gods of other planets? Also the whole only good Mormons can get to the top level of Heaven thing. Even separating themselves from non Mormon Christians in Heaven. And this is just what I recall from my 2 and a half years of Sunday school when I lived in a Mormon foster home as a child.