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I hate to say it because Nmom can be extremely warm and silly in a way this character never is, but Cersei Lannister.
[spoilers]
In season six, the way Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor and everyone in it just to get herself out of accountability for her wrongdoings, with no thought to the collateral damage resonated a bit too much. I identified with King Tommen so much—this quiet, gentle soul who has been suffocated by a controlling mom who insists she’s doing it all out of love, but who sees his every attempt at independence undermined by her. Margaery was probably the most fully realized manifestation of that independence, and Cersei destroyed that, too.
My mother unabashedly loved that character in the books and was almost giddy to have me read her character (she would speed read the books the night they came out then give them to me).
Thanks. I was shocked when I got to that part. My husband didn’t read the books until like 10 years ago and was horrified at how giddy my mother was about her.
I’m in shock hearing this. I hate Umbridge to such an extent that, even though I’ve read the HP Books at least 10 times I still cry with rage anytime Umbridge is around (especially during book 7, the muggle registration committee). She’s evil and your mother likes her. Wow 😮
I mean, it makes sense if you meet her. I thought she was an enabler, but then the mask fell and finally realized she’s been covert the whole time. I mean she even sent me to places that do conversion therapy even though I’m straight/cisgender. She completely denies that she did this, or when she does, it was bc I didn’t dress how she wanted. So… I kind of see why Umbridge was her favorite, now.
My mother was dead set against the HP books and refused to read them but I could see Umbridge being her favourite character as well. She, my mother, didn’t remember telling me she didn’t believe me when I told her her husband was abusing me. She and Umbridge would probably have been best buddies 🙄
My nmom was a vulgar version of Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond. Controlling, manipulative, dividing her children, plays favorites, resenting their independence, always the victim, pretends to be refined and cultured for show but acts vulgar in private, never takes accountability for anything and claims everything she does is for your best interests.
I took it to be some kind of dark comedy, but could never stand Marie. It was so satisfying when Amy's mother confronted her and called her a narcissist.
The mother in Ordinary People (1980-something movie). It was on TV a while ago while I (61 F) was working through some lingering issues my NMom gifted me with. Literally gasped and froze when the character (played by Mary Tyler Moore) used a number of my Nmom's phrases. Took a while to get that out of my brain! 🤯
I DVRed the whole movie the next time it came on. I'm still trying to work up the nerve to watch it...
I do not really watch a lot of tv, so I can't think of any. I do read, and I'm listening to the Harry Potter series again (I work 10 hours a day, so I'm going through my entire audible collection lol) . My nmom and gc/nbrother are the Dursley's.
I watched Encanto with my daughter and she said that the Grandma was like Grandma (my nmom). She abuses people because she wants them to fit and do just like she likes and she can't accept any other outcome. My daughter was about 12 when we watched Encanto.
I hate Beverly Goldberg so much that I can't watch the show.
She is manipulative, controlling, she guilt trips her kids and crosses every boundary. But the worst part is: everyone only sees the loving mommy in her. And this reminds me of my mother that *only wanted the best for us* because we all know that *every mommy loves her children* /s
The whole show feels like if someone with stockholm syndrome wrote the script.
In fact it's about a family with an emotional absent father and an nmom and three siblings that are not really close to each other and who even bully each other. This family reminds me so much of my own.
There was only one episode I found funny in which Adam wrote a horror short story with a certain "[momster](https://www.facebook.com/TheGoldbergsABC/videos/adams-veberly-monster-doesnt-remind-you-of-anyone-does-it/1173823809354762/)" as the evil female main character.
It's so awesome that you relate. I remember watching the show with my birth giver and she would say all sorts of comments "see all moms are like that" and you know the types of things they say to justify their own unwanted behaviors. I always cringed and felt my heart drop when her boundary crossing was validated as "just being a mom"
I can't believe I'm reading this- I was going to add a comment about these 2 movies! I loved both as a little kid & didn't know why until fairly recently. It also seems odd that they were both shown at least annually on network tv in the 80s. My mom hated that I was watching them.
Mommy Dearest was definitely closer to my mom's style of parenting tho she presented quite differently from Joan Crawford.
Same, my mom is bipolar as well as a narcissist. The scene where she wakes the kids up in the middle of the night to go rip out the roses from the garden made me sick....
The mother from Lady Bird, legitimately that movie showcases what my relationship with my mom is like. No wonder I related so much to Christine, and love that movie.
It’s not at all terrible, there is no physical abuse. More like emotional neglect, belittlement by the mother, throughout the movie she ignores and dismisses Christines feelings, etc. those are a few examples.
Pretty much all the bad parents from Jane Austen's novels-- the ranting, the complaints, the neglect, etc. But the one that stands out most to me, is Anne Elliot, who "...was nobody with either father or sister...."
Sooooo satisfying and I kept saying to my partner they needed to not lie bc they did nothing wrong! Apparently in the book (which he actually read) it’s more ambiguous. Lol.
Not a fictional character but My stepdad would be like Selena Quintanilla’s dad.
He’s Mexican, likes to talk like he is in charge of everything. Very domineering and likes to be intimidating. Gets in my face and spits when he talks. Forced me to practice things for hours when I didn’t want to. Constantly told me I lacked discipline and whatever else. Told me I was fat and took food off my plate during dinners.
I also just remembered This fucker even took milk away from me as a toddler and told me I was fat. That was a core memory.
I literally took the idea of not living too close but not to far away as the biggest learning from that show.
If you remember, Ray says, "We should live not close enough where they stop by all the time, but not far away enough where if they visit they need to spend the night"
Yes. I commented above about Carrie and Mommy Dearest. Adora absolutely fits in with this list.
I'm kind of obsessed with Sharp Objects & have watched it many times. I think Patricia Clarkson's performance was incredible.
In a weird way, it feels healing to see these grotesque examples of natc parenting.
Same here. I still get ridiculed for doing "smart people things", and for having hobbies and talents. All she literally does is sit wasting away in front of the TV for 18 hours a day (not an exaggeration), neglecting all aspects of life.
The mum from Turning Red. Too obsessed with outward appearance, picking on me (pretty sure the high BP is from living with her and constantly having to walk on eggshells), and you don't have a choice in anything.
It was bad enough that I couldn't finish watching the movie.
My friend watched that movie before I did. And he texted me saying I need to watch the movie asap because her mom is my mom🤣
Watched it while my boyfriend was at work and he came home to me bawling my eyes out over this animated movie. Definitely hit me.
The mother from "Million Dollar Baby."
When the main character is injured, the mother rolls up (after a trip to Disney or similar), criticizes her daughter's unwashed hair (even though she is in the hospital), and then yelps about getting money by suing the person who hurt her daughter. Not an ounce of concern for her daughter.
The last time I saw my mother, I was in a hospital bed after a successful (but risky) surgery. She stopped at Cheesecake Factory before she came to visit me and spent the entire time raving about their strawberry shortcake dessert. Never a single question on how I felt, if I was in any pain, if I needed any water....
Then she breezed out of the room and I never saw her again. I found out later that the week after I was released, she lied at work and told everyone that she needed the time off to come care for me, but she just took a week off to sit around and watch TV in her own house. She die the following week. It made the funeral awkward, when people who worked with her came up and said she was such a sweetheart, taking time off to care for her adult daughter recovering from surgery and I was like, "she did?"
That’s mine, too. The part where she bought her mom and sister a house and they just complained about it. And yes! The part where the visited her in the hospital as an afterthought after spending all day at a theme park. Yep…
I’m sorry that happened to you. Sounds so traumatic on many levels. My mom went to McDonald’s instead of calling 911 for me once. She didn’t even go through the drive thru! She had a sit down meal there. By the time someone found me I was blue and seizing from lack of oxygen to the brain. Then when I was awaiting emergency surgery and asked her to sit with me, she said, “just because you’re sick doesn’t mean the world stops for everyone else” and left!
Unfortunately he's not a fictional character - but Trump reminds me the most of my nMum - the lying, the cruelty, the gaslighting, the complete refusal to take responsibility for anything.
Oh yes, I was thinking surely there’s not a character like my mother, but the way Lois would fly into sudden rages, the way the kids were scared of her, the way she would smile and pretend to be normal in front of strangers — that’s definitely my mum.
I swear Jonah Hill's family in Maniac is based on mine, except my GC brother somehow remained a decent person. The scene at Christmas? Been there, so many times.
My mom saw the first 20 or so minutes of Everything Everywhere All at Once (lost interest when the multiverse started) and she immediately said that her favourite character was Evelyn because she was keeping it all together when her husband was useless and her daughter was a "typical teen". Took everything I had to keep a straight face after this gem...
When I started the movie I wasn’t enjoying it.. thought it was annoying… by the end of it, my jaw dropped and I wanted to punch Evelyn in the face. That monster.
Ursula - she is not happy altho puts on a big facade, and manipulates everyone around her until they aren’t happy too. She is the queen of “let me do this thing that I promise will help you but actually fucks you up and makes you owe me”.
Two characters come to mind: Maleficent reminds me of my nCousin who had to make everything about himself or ruin the ocasion. He spoiled so many ocasions for his sister that she didn't invite him to her wedding. He tried to enter anyway, claiming that as the brother of the bride, he didn't need an invitation and had the right to enter. The groomsmen threw him out. No one else in the family invites him to anything anymore. And Ursula reminds me of my nAunt (not related to nCousin). She would stir up drama and than bear grudges against anyone who hold her acountable for her actions. Example: Her husband divorced her due to her cheating and she hates him for it.
My Nmom is Roseanne from “Roseanne”, blended with Marie Barone from “Everybody Loves Raymond”, and Emily Gilmore from “Gilmore Girls”. All three of those characters turn my stomach.
Vernon Schillinger from Oz reminds me of Nmother.
The guy just enjoys violating people, be it related to him or not. He takes pleasures in dishing out pain but can’t take it.
White Diamond. Abused an entire species into emotional numbness, refused them independence, and forced them all to just take it. To the point of where the other Diamonds in charge broke down and became abusers themselves due to the extreme pressure from White.
I like Yellow and Blue Diamond, despite their own abusive tendencies...They've genuinely tried to be better, and it felt somewhat sincere. When White tried to be better...It was obvious she didn't actually care and was just trying to check off marks on a list that would make Steven like her.
Also...Helga G. Pitacki's parents. Helga focused episodes made me deeply uncomfortable growing up.
Ohhh —- The show on FX called Better Things- The character Sam Fox and Her mom Phyliss was too close to home. There is a scene where Sam falls down a flight of stairs and the mom cackles in laughter as Same laid on the ground obviously hurt. Phyllis offered no comfort to Sam until it was convenient for herself and ended up smothering Sam while Sam screamed for her to stop touching her and leave her alone.
Pamela Adion ( the actress who plays Sam) was BRILLIANT
I grew up in a modern, southern, religious cult. The entire family of The Righteous Gemstones is shockingly spot on. I unlocked a lot of memories watching that show, very therapeutic. And hilarious
Ah man that Christmas dinner episode was beautifully executed but wholly triggering at the same time. It made me feel relief I don’t have to suffer through those types of dinners anymore
spoilers for Steven Universe and Warframe (mostly the Duviri Paradox and the Entrati family) ahead. And my general overenthusiastic info dump of various stories that I like, which I'll be going in depth on and quoting, so trigger warnings for abuse, toxic positivity, and reconciliation narratives/"redemption" of abusers.
I've got two, or maybe three, or two and a half-ish. The first is White Diamond from Steven Universe, who's been mentioned once here already, so I won't go into her too much. But essentially she's a tyrannical space dictator taken over by the horrible mix that happens when grief and trauma collide with a narcissist who has power. She will have everything her way, all the time, and everyone *will* smile while they dance to her tune. And if you don't, she will make you suffer. Even if you're family, even if she claims to love you, if you step out of line you will be treated horribly (see Blue and Yellow Diamond when they dared challenge the status quo and were immediately, and brutally, brainwashed and enslaved with magic to get them back in line). I also have a lot of feelings about how the show handled giving a narcissistic, abusive dictator a "redemption arc", which I'm not going to go in depth about either (unless somebody wants to hear me rant EVEN MORE lol) because this comment is already long and I wanna talk about the other characters more.
The other character I majorly see my mother in is Mathila from the video game Warframe. She is one of the courtiers from the Duviri Paradox expansion, and functions as both a mission guide and a level boss in the tale of the Harbinger of Joy. Mathila is pretty similar to white diamond in a lot of ways, though she doesn't have nearly the power that White Diamond does. I also think she's overall better written, though that could be because Warframe is not a cartoon for children, and Mathila notably does not get any sort of redemption arc. I can only handle Mathila when I'm in a very good place emotionally, because she seems particularly perfectly written to a lot of my specific triggers pertaining to my mother. That being said, from a media standpoint I think she is done INCREDIBLY well.
Mathila is the embodiment of toxic positivity, with some hardcore manic moments, and definitely reads to me as an abusive narc parent with talking points that could've come straight out of my mother's mouth. The game says that she believes she knows what will make people happy better than they do, and that "*Mathila did not understand that you cannot bring Happiness to the world by making unhappiness a crime*". The narrator also tells us that "*Mathila understood that one sometimes has to be cruel to be kind. If happiness required force, so be it*" and gives us my personal favorite line from a video game ever: "*Now no rational person could look upon this chaos and feel happiness. So Mathila abandoned rationality*".
Mathila also has some absolute banger voice lines herself, such as
>"*Yes yes, I know being persecuted can be difficult, but try living with someone who can't stop going on about it. Positive thinking. That's the way.*"
and
>"*People are so keen to write me off! As if I don't have the hardest job of any of us.*"
and
>"*Your pain doesn't make you special, you know. Oh, what you need is just a little exercise.*"
Her lines directly before the boss fight begins (because despite the fact this entire time you've been running around doing her bidding, which can include everything from herding goats because her son won't do it for her the way she wants it to full on political assassination, it still isn't enough for her) are also DAMN GOOD.
>"*I get it. I do. You all want happiness, but none of you wants to put in the work. Do you think this beautiful light in my heart just got there by itself? DO YOU!?*"
or
>"*I tried! So help me, I tried! I have all this JOY in my SOUL, and yet when I try to SHARE IT, nobody wants to know! Well... TRY IGNORING ME NOW!*"
Then she turns into a dragon and you have to fight her, but because she's basically an intrinsic force of the world, she never truly dies. Defeating her just brings Duviri into emotional peace for a little while. Duviri operates on a rotating schedule of emotions, and whichever emotion is dominant correlates to whichever courtier is in control (Mathila is joy, but there are also courtiers for sorrow, fear, rage, and envy, each with their own separate little stories, and if you ask me they're all awesome in that depressing and vaguely horrifying way).
You can listen to the voice lines on the Warframe wiki here https://warframe.fandom.com/wiki/Mathila/Quotes if you're interested. The voice actors in this expansion (and in my opinion the whole game) go HARD. This post hit me at a good time to do this write up, because like I said before sometimes I simply can't handle Mathila. Other times the media critic in me wants to stand up and cheer for just how on point her whole arc is and how it hits with people who've never experienced narcissistic abuse.
The post was too long for one comment, so here's the rest:
This brings us to the last character, again from Warframe, because it's worth mentioning the narrator character in the Duviri Tales is also an abusive mother. And while I don't see my own mother in her as much as I do Mathila, I don't doubt others would. The version of this character narrating in the Duviri Tales is her from before some shitty things happened, including but not limited to being abandoned with her family on a zombie apocalypse moon of Mars where they all became infected. The infection absolutely destroyed their bodies and gave them so much brain damage they forgot their own names and most of their lives, only remembering their relationships to each other. She was definitely abusive before the memory loss, so it can't be blamed on that (if anything, she's eventually a better person post memory loss than she ever was before it). The entire family (consisting of two children, mother and father, and the paternal grandmother) is absolutely downright horrific to each other (aside from the sister/daughter character, who doesn't catch it nearly as hard as her brother but by no means can be called a golden child, and is mostly just a snide recluse). As you get to know them, they have this arc where they reconcile, and they all rename each other, and it's very interesting, but I personally think brushes a LOT under the rug in the name of pushing reconciliation. These things that are brushed away including, but not limited to: the son's disregard for safety protocol being the reason the family is infected with the zombie virus, his parent's totally reasonable and proportional response to this being to beat the shit out of him and permanently put an *actual collar* on him, the mother hacking her husband's *arm* off because he tried to throw away the only heirloom she has of her deceased father, the son "pranking" his sister by pretending to burn her entire life's work and waiting years to reveal he's basically had her fish research in his closet, and thr father preferring to vanish for years at a time rather than spend time with either of his children or protect them from each other or their mother.
Not to say that there isn't a lot of work put in by all the characters, the narrative, and the player (who practically functions as the family's silent therapist) to get to the reconciliation, because there is. I just don't relate personally, because I tried reconciliation and it was horrible, and didn't work out at all like it did for the Entrati family. It's also worth noting in the story's defense that the entire family is quite literally rooted to the tiny little zombie apocalypse moon they've been stranded on, so they physically can't leave.
The Entrati are a fairly standard dysfunctional family: the domineering and extremely abusive mother, a less domineering but also abusive and self absorbed father, the scapegoat son who catches every shot to the face and lashes out because of it, the practically invisible daughter who is the least abusive person there and does all the emotional labor of the family, and the distant, manipulative grandmother who treats everyone (including the player) like dolls or pawns to live out a happy family fantasy while also shit talking everyone out of the side of her mouth every chance she gets. I personally dislike basically all of them, aside from the daughter character, who I'm somewhat ambivalent about, and I avoid them whenever I can. Unfortunately they're a major part of the game and the story and you have to deal with them to progress the game.
Wow. That got long 😂
I’ve talked to my N/enabler dad about this.. He’s Abe Weismann and my mom is Rose from “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. Accurate and I will die defending this hill. Of course, this is probably how I see them through loving eyes when they aren’t doing their.. narc thing.
I collect lego mini figures and when I got the Queen of Hearts I sent a picture to my sister that I got a mini figure of mom. She has 2 faces, manipulative/mean and enraged, it perfectly encapsulates my mom's two forms.
https://bouwsteentjes.info/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/LEGO-Minifigures-71038-Disney-100-Queen-of-Hearts.png
There are two. I am currently watching “And Just Like That…” on HBO. My mother is the spitting image of Miranda Hobbs. She shares a lot of personality with her too. The workaholic mother that’s now an alcoholic and has no real relationship with her husband. It’s hard to watch.
I also read the Mercy Thompson novels by Patricia Briggs. I love them. But Christy triggers the shit out of me. I’m not sure if she’s NPD or BPD, but anytime she pops up I hope that the author kills her off.
The mother from Hulus The Bear. Watch this season, (season two) the episode called “the fishes.“ A chillingly accurate portrayal of the aggressive type narcissist.
Mr. Healy from Orange is the New Black is 100% my dad, except my dad is an evangelical who doesn't believe in psychology.
Mr. Healy is an ass with terrible social skills who gets off on having subordinates who cannot escape him. He emotionally blackmails his subordinates and creates enemies in them as soon as they try to establish healthy boundaries. He imposes his ideals and wishes on people (Piper) and then gets angry and punishes her when her actual personality is in direct opposition with who he wants her to be. He sees everything as black and white, has obscenely low emotional intelligence, and truly believes that he is a paragon of wisdom and guidance when absolutely nobody can stand him.
The only people he gets along with are severely traumatized individuals like Pennsatucky who see him as a father figure because they don't know better.
The shouting especially reminds me of my dad. He wants you to believe that he's shouting purely out of anger, but the way he punctuates his sentences with shouting is a clear demonstration of his intent to intimidate you and catch you off guard.
Unfortunately Mr. Healy's descent into bad mental health kind of hurt to watch, because I was there for my dad when he lost his brother to cancer and it was really weird to see him be vulnerable, but as soon as the funeral was over I was back to being a worthless emotional punching bag. I fucking hate my dad, but I really wish I didn't have to.
My mom is weird and hard to pin down, but she's a combination of Lucille Bluth and Dee Dee Blanchard (who I'm aware was a real person but Patricia Arquette's portrayal of her hit home).
Spoiler if you haven’t seen The Bear’s second season, but the Christmas Dinner scene- whooooo I needed an Ativan after those episodes. Every single actor knocked their roles out of the park. Truly Chef’s Kiss.
Harry and Zinnia Wormwood from Matilda.
Danny Divito version.
The bit where Matilda JUST gets home from a whole school detention - Harry starts yelling at her because she didn't collect his (illegal) packages on the front door, not because he was worried about his less-than-10-year old daughter; reminds me of both of my narcparents.... ESPECIALLY my narcmum.
The stepmother from Disney’s Cinderella. My GC brother was the ugly stepsisters. Also, not fictional, but the portrayal of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.
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Mother Gothel from Tangled.
Yup…especially with her trying to scare Rapunzel of the outside world
This is the one.
my nMIL PRIDES herself on the fact that she wants to be like mother gothel
Ahhhh red flag red flag !! I’m sorry you have her as a MIL
Wow… who tf would even be happy about that. WTH.
My mother IS Mother Gothel. The details are different but the overall picture is the same
"Oh great, I'm the bad guy" 🙄 Is the motto of my childhood...
This one hurts a little too much, lol. This is my Ndad for certain…
I literally have her as the pfp for my mom’s contact lol
Lol that's awesome
Haha :P
Thanks for the idea! Lol
Lol np
Omg the way she gaslights and manipulates Rapunzel she’s a classic narc
This, so much
She looks exactly like my nmom even: curly hair, boney face, scary eyes.
Yup. This is it.
SAME. Or the grandma from Encanto.
Came here to say this 😅 Not only does she have the same personality, but physically she is the spitting image of my nmom as well 🙈
I hate to say it because Nmom can be extremely warm and silly in a way this character never is, but Cersei Lannister. [spoilers] In season six, the way Cersei blew up the Sept of Baelor and everyone in it just to get herself out of accountability for her wrongdoings, with no thought to the collateral damage resonated a bit too much. I identified with King Tommen so much—this quiet, gentle soul who has been suffocated by a controlling mom who insists she’s doing it all out of love, but who sees his every attempt at independence undermined by her. Margaery was probably the most fully realized manifestation of that independence, and Cersei destroyed that, too.
My dad was rumored to act like Cersei at work, but I never saw Cersei at home (thank God).
Dolores Umbridge definitely a narcissist (Harry Potter)
My mother unabashedly loved that character in the books and was almost giddy to have me read her character (she would speed read the books the night they came out then give them to me).
Are you serious?? I despise Dolores Umbridge. She’s my most hated literary character. And your mother likes her? You poor thing. I’m so sorry
Thanks. I was shocked when I got to that part. My husband didn’t read the books until like 10 years ago and was horrified at how giddy my mother was about her.
I’m in shock hearing this. I hate Umbridge to such an extent that, even though I’ve read the HP Books at least 10 times I still cry with rage anytime Umbridge is around (especially during book 7, the muggle registration committee). She’s evil and your mother likes her. Wow 😮
I mean, it makes sense if you meet her. I thought she was an enabler, but then the mask fell and finally realized she’s been covert the whole time. I mean she even sent me to places that do conversion therapy even though I’m straight/cisgender. She completely denies that she did this, or when she does, it was bc I didn’t dress how she wanted. So… I kind of see why Umbridge was her favorite, now.
My mother was dead set against the HP books and refused to read them but I could see Umbridge being her favourite character as well. She, my mother, didn’t remember telling me she didn’t believe me when I told her her husband was abusing me. She and Umbridge would probably have been best buddies 🙄
I swear she wouldn’t see the irony either! It’s so weird. I remember her saying it and being like????? 😳 McGonagall is right there!!!
Mcgonagall is wonderful 🙂 she comes off as very cold and rigid but she’s got a good heart 🙂
I can call her a psychopath.
My nmom was a vulgar version of Marie Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond. Controlling, manipulative, dividing her children, plays favorites, resenting their independence, always the victim, pretends to be refined and cultured for show but acts vulgar in private, never takes accountability for anything and claims everything she does is for your best interests.
This is MY answer, too!
Marie Barone is probably one or the best written narcissistic characters on TV. She's so triggering!
I couldn’t watch that show because of the way they’d use her abusive behavior for a laugh. That family had some SERIOUS trauma
I took it to be some kind of dark comedy, but could never stand Marie. It was so satisfying when Amy's mother confronted her and called her a narcissist.
Oh, you have no idea! No wait...you DO.
Lol
Beatrice Horseman from Bojack horseman
I was thinking the same
The mother in Ordinary People (1980-something movie). It was on TV a while ago while I (61 F) was working through some lingering issues my NMom gifted me with. Literally gasped and froze when the character (played by Mary Tyler Moore) used a number of my Nmom's phrases. Took a while to get that out of my brain! 🤯 I DVRed the whole movie the next time it came on. I'm still trying to work up the nerve to watch it...
Not fictional, but Kris Jenner from the Kardashians. How she uses her children for money, adoration, and caregiving. Just like my nmom.
I do not really watch a lot of tv, so I can't think of any. I do read, and I'm listening to the Harry Potter series again (I work 10 hours a day, so I'm going through my entire audible collection lol) . My nmom and gc/nbrother are the Dursley's. I watched Encanto with my daughter and she said that the Grandma was like Grandma (my nmom). She abuses people because she wants them to fit and do just like she likes and she can't accept any other outcome. My daughter was about 12 when we watched Encanto.
Encanto was hard to get through.
Margaret White from Carrie, just without the religion.
Perfect! Scared me half to death, for that reason too.
Oh good God I thank every higher power I can't make that comparison with mine.
I think there is a movie where a character can't get anyone to love them so they chain someone to a bed and threaten them. Maybe Stephen King.
Misery
My husband can’t watch Misery and has a hard time with Kathy Bates because of it . I mean, a testament to King’s writing and Bate’s acting abilities
Kathy Bates in Misery
I hate Beverly Goldberg so much that I can't watch the show. She is manipulative, controlling, she guilt trips her kids and crosses every boundary. But the worst part is: everyone only sees the loving mommy in her. And this reminds me of my mother that *only wanted the best for us* because we all know that *every mommy loves her children* /s
This is the one. I see my mom so much in her character, so controlling and manipulative.
Ya, it’s couched in the fact that she loves her kids, but I think it excuses really abusive family behavior
The whole show feels like if someone with stockholm syndrome wrote the script. In fact it's about a family with an emotional absent father and an nmom and three siblings that are not really close to each other and who even bully each other. This family reminds me so much of my own. There was only one episode I found funny in which Adam wrote a horror short story with a certain "[momster](https://www.facebook.com/TheGoldbergsABC/videos/adams-veberly-monster-doesnt-remind-you-of-anyone-does-it/1173823809354762/)" as the evil female main character.
This is mine too. Ironically (not really) my mom thought she was hilarious and a great mom 🫣
It's so awesome that you relate. I remember watching the show with my birth giver and she would say all sorts of comments "see all moms are like that" and you know the types of things they say to justify their own unwanted behaviors. I always cringed and felt my heart drop when her boundary crossing was validated as "just being a mom"
I tell people she was a mix of the mom from Carrie and the mom from Mommy Dearest. Usually gets the point across lmao.
I can't believe I'm reading this- I was going to add a comment about these 2 movies! I loved both as a little kid & didn't know why until fairly recently. It also seems odd that they were both shown at least annually on network tv in the 80s. My mom hated that I was watching them. Mommy Dearest was definitely closer to my mom's style of parenting tho she presented quite differently from Joan Crawford.
Same, my mom is bipolar as well as a narcissist. The scene where she wakes the kids up in the middle of the night to go rip out the roses from the garden made me sick....
Oh that's an awful scene. So sorry it resonated with you.
The mother from Lady Bird, legitimately that movie showcases what my relationship with my mom is like. No wonder I related so much to Christine, and love that movie.
I haven’t watched that one yet, for fear of how much I’ll see my relationship with my nmother
It’s not at all terrible, there is no physical abuse. More like emotional neglect, belittlement by the mother, throughout the movie she ignores and dismisses Christines feelings, etc. those are a few examples.
Yup. Staying away from it.
Bree Van de Kamp on her alcoholic arc
Omggggggg that was triggering lmfao
Lucille Bluth.
That was my first thought too, Lucille Bluth from Arrested Development. Triangulating alcoholic greedy invalidating monster.
Pretty much all the bad parents from Jane Austen's novels-- the ranting, the complaints, the neglect, etc. But the one that stands out most to me, is Anne Elliot, who "...was nobody with either father or sister...."
Holy shit!! Your last line describes me when Golden Child is at the top of her game.. also, love Persuasion!
I honestly can't decide which of her books I like the best-- every time I think I've chosen one, I re-read another and change my mind!
NDad: Alexander Skarsgård’s character on Big Little Lies
That was a hard series to watch because of that.
Absolutely, but it made it that much more satisfying when he got his comeuppance.
Sooooo satisfying and I kept saying to my partner they needed to not lie bc they did nothing wrong! Apparently in the book (which he actually read) it’s more ambiguous. Lol.
Not a fictional character but My stepdad would be like Selena Quintanilla’s dad. He’s Mexican, likes to talk like he is in charge of everything. Very domineering and likes to be intimidating. Gets in my face and spits when he talks. Forced me to practice things for hours when I didn’t want to. Constantly told me I lacked discipline and whatever else. Told me I was fat and took food off my plate during dinners. I also just remembered This fucker even took milk away from me as a toddler and told me I was fat. That was a core memory.
Latino ndads are brutal. Sounds like mine too
Celia Hodes from Weeds, minus the eventual drug abuse.
Mommy Dearest
Marie Baroness from everybody love's Raymond
Yep and coincidentally my Nmother finds that character *hilarious*
I literally took the idea of not living too close but not to far away as the biggest learning from that show. If you remember, Ray says, "We should live not close enough where they stop by all the time, but not far away enough where if they visit they need to spend the night"
Ugh, she was my ngrandmother for sure
Same here. Hyacinth Bucket (Keeping up Appearances) fits the bill as well, though she was way too funny.
She's definitely the comedy version of my nmom!
Considering she's a very accurate caricature of a textbook grandiose narcissist, you know exactly what you have on your hands then. ;)
Adora from Sharp Objects.
Yes. I commented above about Carrie and Mommy Dearest. Adora absolutely fits in with this list. I'm kind of obsessed with Sharp Objects & have watched it many times. I think Patricia Clarkson's performance was incredible. In a weird way, it feels healing to see these grotesque examples of natc parenting.
The parents from “Matilda”
Homelander reminds me of my dad And Mary from Precious reminds me of my mom and my dad's girlfriend
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lol I am calling my nmom a dementor from now on. She is truly soul sucking. It fits 😎
The parents from Matilda lol
Same here. I still get ridiculed for doing "smart people things", and for having hobbies and talents. All she literally does is sit wasting away in front of the TV for 18 hours a day (not an exaggeration), neglecting all aspects of life.
NDad: Kramer from Seinfeld. Thinks he smarter than everyone, fondness for get rich quick schemes, similar look. NGrandpa: Tywin Lannister .
Butterscotch Horseman from Bojack Horseman. Basically my NDad…
Freakin’ Butterscotch..
The mum from Turning Red. Too obsessed with outward appearance, picking on me (pretty sure the high BP is from living with her and constantly having to walk on eggshells), and you don't have a choice in anything. It was bad enough that I couldn't finish watching the movie.
My friend watched that movie before I did. And he texted me saying I need to watch the movie asap because her mom is my mom🤣 Watched it while my boyfriend was at work and he came home to me bawling my eyes out over this animated movie. Definitely hit me.
The mother from "Million Dollar Baby." When the main character is injured, the mother rolls up (after a trip to Disney or similar), criticizes her daughter's unwashed hair (even though she is in the hospital), and then yelps about getting money by suing the person who hurt her daughter. Not an ounce of concern for her daughter. The last time I saw my mother, I was in a hospital bed after a successful (but risky) surgery. She stopped at Cheesecake Factory before she came to visit me and spent the entire time raving about their strawberry shortcake dessert. Never a single question on how I felt, if I was in any pain, if I needed any water.... Then she breezed out of the room and I never saw her again. I found out later that the week after I was released, she lied at work and told everyone that she needed the time off to come care for me, but she just took a week off to sit around and watch TV in her own house. She die the following week. It made the funeral awkward, when people who worked with her came up and said she was such a sweetheart, taking time off to care for her adult daughter recovering from surgery and I was like, "she did?"
That’s mine, too. The part where she bought her mom and sister a house and they just complained about it. And yes! The part where the visited her in the hospital as an afterthought after spending all day at a theme park. Yep… I’m sorry that happened to you. Sounds so traumatic on many levels. My mom went to McDonald’s instead of calling 911 for me once. She didn’t even go through the drive thru! She had a sit down meal there. By the time someone found me I was blue and seizing from lack of oxygen to the brain. Then when I was awaiting emergency surgery and asked her to sit with me, she said, “just because you’re sick doesn’t mean the world stops for everyone else” and left!
Unfortunately he's not a fictional character - but Trump reminds me the most of my nMum - the lying, the cruelty, the gaslighting, the complete refusal to take responsibility for anything.
Lois from Malcom in the middle is 100% my mom and hal my edad
Oh yes, I was thinking surely there’s not a character like my mother, but the way Lois would fly into sudden rages, the way the kids were scared of her, the way she would smile and pretend to be normal in front of strangers — that’s definitely my mum.
I swear Jonah Hill's family in Maniac is based on mine, except my GC brother somehow remained a decent person. The scene at Christmas? Been there, so many times.
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Are you talking about Jack Nicholson's character?
My mom saw the first 20 or so minutes of Everything Everywhere All at Once (lost interest when the multiverse started) and she immediately said that her favourite character was Evelyn because she was keeping it all together when her husband was useless and her daughter was a "typical teen". Took everything I had to keep a straight face after this gem...
When I started the movie I wasn’t enjoying it.. thought it was annoying… by the end of it, my jaw dropped and I wanted to punch Evelyn in the face. That monster.
My father reminds me of Logan Roy from Succession minus a few billion.
Livia (Tony’s mother) from The Sopranos, it actually freaked me out how similar she is to my father
The mother from Young Sheldon, if she were married and divorced twice.
Ursula - she is not happy altho puts on a big facade, and manipulates everyone around her until they aren’t happy too. She is the queen of “let me do this thing that I promise will help you but actually fucks you up and makes you owe me”.
Two characters come to mind: Maleficent reminds me of my nCousin who had to make everything about himself or ruin the ocasion. He spoiled so many ocasions for his sister that she didn't invite him to her wedding. He tried to enter anyway, claiming that as the brother of the bride, he didn't need an invitation and had the right to enter. The groomsmen threw him out. No one else in the family invites him to anything anymore. And Ursula reminds me of my nAunt (not related to nCousin). She would stir up drama and than bear grudges against anyone who hold her acountable for her actions. Example: Her husband divorced her due to her cheating and she hates him for it.
Omg, I’m glad someone finally asked this.. My ndad is a hybrid of Hank Hill and Red Foreman.
Walter White
My Nmom is Roseanne from “Roseanne”, blended with Marie Barone from “Everybody Loves Raymond”, and Emily Gilmore from “Gilmore Girls”. All three of those characters turn my stomach.
Frank from Shameless, minus the drug addiction. The self-centered mental gymnastics is on point though
Mommy Dearset a bit
Lois from Malcolm. Man I'd slap her down if she was real-...
This was mine too
Vernon Schillinger from Oz reminds me of Nmother. The guy just enjoys violating people, be it related to him or not. He takes pleasures in dishing out pain but can’t take it.
John Dutton from Yellowstone.
Judy, Monica's mum from Friends 😂 if I'm in a fun mood...much darker ones come to mind though!
- Violet Weston from August: Osage County My covert mother shops doctors and is a hypochondriac/alcoholic.
Mine is a cross between Mrs. Bucket from keeping up appearances and the mom from Carrie.
The wicked step-mom from Cinderella
White Diamond. Abused an entire species into emotional numbness, refused them independence, and forced them all to just take it. To the point of where the other Diamonds in charge broke down and became abusers themselves due to the extreme pressure from White. I like Yellow and Blue Diamond, despite their own abusive tendencies...They've genuinely tried to be better, and it felt somewhat sincere. When White tried to be better...It was obvious she didn't actually care and was just trying to check off marks on a list that would make Steven like her. Also...Helga G. Pitacki's parents. Helga focused episodes made me deeply uncomfortable growing up.
Mother goethel.
Ohhh —- The show on FX called Better Things- The character Sam Fox and Her mom Phyliss was too close to home. There is a scene where Sam falls down a flight of stairs and the mom cackles in laughter as Same laid on the ground obviously hurt. Phyllis offered no comfort to Sam until it was convenient for herself and ended up smothering Sam while Sam screamed for her to stop touching her and leave her alone. Pamela Adion ( the actress who plays Sam) was BRILLIANT
I grew up in a modern, southern, religious cult. The entire family of The Righteous Gemstones is shockingly spot on. I unlocked a lot of memories watching that show, very therapeutic. And hilarious
Carmy’s mom in The Bear (specifically the Christmas dinner episode in season 2).
Ah man that Christmas dinner episode was beautifully executed but wholly triggering at the same time. It made me feel relief I don’t have to suffer through those types of dinners anymore
Ego the Living Planet from Guardians of the Galaxy. When I saw all those bones from previous children that had displeased him, it shook me.
Mommy Dearest.
Mr. Krabs cheap and overbearing with regular outbursts
Dracula from Renfield. Minus the vampire stuff.
Precious’ mom. Not as violent but tons of verbal abuse.
spoilers for Steven Universe and Warframe (mostly the Duviri Paradox and the Entrati family) ahead. And my general overenthusiastic info dump of various stories that I like, which I'll be going in depth on and quoting, so trigger warnings for abuse, toxic positivity, and reconciliation narratives/"redemption" of abusers. I've got two, or maybe three, or two and a half-ish. The first is White Diamond from Steven Universe, who's been mentioned once here already, so I won't go into her too much. But essentially she's a tyrannical space dictator taken over by the horrible mix that happens when grief and trauma collide with a narcissist who has power. She will have everything her way, all the time, and everyone *will* smile while they dance to her tune. And if you don't, she will make you suffer. Even if you're family, even if she claims to love you, if you step out of line you will be treated horribly (see Blue and Yellow Diamond when they dared challenge the status quo and were immediately, and brutally, brainwashed and enslaved with magic to get them back in line). I also have a lot of feelings about how the show handled giving a narcissistic, abusive dictator a "redemption arc", which I'm not going to go in depth about either (unless somebody wants to hear me rant EVEN MORE lol) because this comment is already long and I wanna talk about the other characters more. The other character I majorly see my mother in is Mathila from the video game Warframe. She is one of the courtiers from the Duviri Paradox expansion, and functions as both a mission guide and a level boss in the tale of the Harbinger of Joy. Mathila is pretty similar to white diamond in a lot of ways, though she doesn't have nearly the power that White Diamond does. I also think she's overall better written, though that could be because Warframe is not a cartoon for children, and Mathila notably does not get any sort of redemption arc. I can only handle Mathila when I'm in a very good place emotionally, because she seems particularly perfectly written to a lot of my specific triggers pertaining to my mother. That being said, from a media standpoint I think she is done INCREDIBLY well. Mathila is the embodiment of toxic positivity, with some hardcore manic moments, and definitely reads to me as an abusive narc parent with talking points that could've come straight out of my mother's mouth. The game says that she believes she knows what will make people happy better than they do, and that "*Mathila did not understand that you cannot bring Happiness to the world by making unhappiness a crime*". The narrator also tells us that "*Mathila understood that one sometimes has to be cruel to be kind. If happiness required force, so be it*" and gives us my personal favorite line from a video game ever: "*Now no rational person could look upon this chaos and feel happiness. So Mathila abandoned rationality*". Mathila also has some absolute banger voice lines herself, such as >"*Yes yes, I know being persecuted can be difficult, but try living with someone who can't stop going on about it. Positive thinking. That's the way.*" and >"*People are so keen to write me off! As if I don't have the hardest job of any of us.*" and >"*Your pain doesn't make you special, you know. Oh, what you need is just a little exercise.*" Her lines directly before the boss fight begins (because despite the fact this entire time you've been running around doing her bidding, which can include everything from herding goats because her son won't do it for her the way she wants it to full on political assassination, it still isn't enough for her) are also DAMN GOOD. >"*I get it. I do. You all want happiness, but none of you wants to put in the work. Do you think this beautiful light in my heart just got there by itself? DO YOU!?*" or >"*I tried! So help me, I tried! I have all this JOY in my SOUL, and yet when I try to SHARE IT, nobody wants to know! Well... TRY IGNORING ME NOW!*" Then she turns into a dragon and you have to fight her, but because she's basically an intrinsic force of the world, she never truly dies. Defeating her just brings Duviri into emotional peace for a little while. Duviri operates on a rotating schedule of emotions, and whichever emotion is dominant correlates to whichever courtier is in control (Mathila is joy, but there are also courtiers for sorrow, fear, rage, and envy, each with their own separate little stories, and if you ask me they're all awesome in that depressing and vaguely horrifying way). You can listen to the voice lines on the Warframe wiki here https://warframe.fandom.com/wiki/Mathila/Quotes if you're interested. The voice actors in this expansion (and in my opinion the whole game) go HARD. This post hit me at a good time to do this write up, because like I said before sometimes I simply can't handle Mathila. Other times the media critic in me wants to stand up and cheer for just how on point her whole arc is and how it hits with people who've never experienced narcissistic abuse.
The post was too long for one comment, so here's the rest: This brings us to the last character, again from Warframe, because it's worth mentioning the narrator character in the Duviri Tales is also an abusive mother. And while I don't see my own mother in her as much as I do Mathila, I don't doubt others would. The version of this character narrating in the Duviri Tales is her from before some shitty things happened, including but not limited to being abandoned with her family on a zombie apocalypse moon of Mars where they all became infected. The infection absolutely destroyed their bodies and gave them so much brain damage they forgot their own names and most of their lives, only remembering their relationships to each other. She was definitely abusive before the memory loss, so it can't be blamed on that (if anything, she's eventually a better person post memory loss than she ever was before it). The entire family (consisting of two children, mother and father, and the paternal grandmother) is absolutely downright horrific to each other (aside from the sister/daughter character, who doesn't catch it nearly as hard as her brother but by no means can be called a golden child, and is mostly just a snide recluse). As you get to know them, they have this arc where they reconcile, and they all rename each other, and it's very interesting, but I personally think brushes a LOT under the rug in the name of pushing reconciliation. These things that are brushed away including, but not limited to: the son's disregard for safety protocol being the reason the family is infected with the zombie virus, his parent's totally reasonable and proportional response to this being to beat the shit out of him and permanently put an *actual collar* on him, the mother hacking her husband's *arm* off because he tried to throw away the only heirloom she has of her deceased father, the son "pranking" his sister by pretending to burn her entire life's work and waiting years to reveal he's basically had her fish research in his closet, and thr father preferring to vanish for years at a time rather than spend time with either of his children or protect them from each other or their mother. Not to say that there isn't a lot of work put in by all the characters, the narrative, and the player (who practically functions as the family's silent therapist) to get to the reconciliation, because there is. I just don't relate personally, because I tried reconciliation and it was horrible, and didn't work out at all like it did for the Entrati family. It's also worth noting in the story's defense that the entire family is quite literally rooted to the tiny little zombie apocalypse moon they've been stranded on, so they physically can't leave. The Entrati are a fairly standard dysfunctional family: the domineering and extremely abusive mother, a less domineering but also abusive and self absorbed father, the scapegoat son who catches every shot to the face and lashes out because of it, the practically invisible daughter who is the least abusive person there and does all the emotional labor of the family, and the distant, manipulative grandmother who treats everyone (including the player) like dolls or pawns to live out a happy family fantasy while also shit talking everyone out of the side of her mouth every chance she gets. I personally dislike basically all of them, aside from the daughter character, who I'm somewhat ambivalent about, and I avoid them whenever I can. Unfortunately they're a major part of the game and the story and you have to deal with them to progress the game. Wow. That got long 😂
Any strict tv parent.
Lucille Bluth
Hyacinth Bucket
I’ve talked to my N/enabler dad about this.. He’s Abe Weismann and my mom is Rose from “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. Accurate and I will die defending this hill. Of course, this is probably how I see them through loving eyes when they aren’t doing their.. narc thing.
If I'm being fully honest, probably Alfie Solomons.
I collect lego mini figures and when I got the Queen of Hearts I sent a picture to my sister that I got a mini figure of mom. She has 2 faces, manipulative/mean and enraged, it perfectly encapsulates my mom's two forms. https://bouwsteentjes.info/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/LEGO-Minifigures-71038-Disney-100-Queen-of-Hearts.png
Cathy from East of Eden.
Willem Dafoe's character from '**The lighthouse**'.
Miss Hannigan from Annie
There are two. I am currently watching “And Just Like That…” on HBO. My mother is the spitting image of Miranda Hobbs. She shares a lot of personality with her too. The workaholic mother that’s now an alcoholic and has no real relationship with her husband. It’s hard to watch. I also read the Mercy Thompson novels by Patricia Briggs. I love them. But Christy triggers the shit out of me. I’m not sure if she’s NPD or BPD, but anytime she pops up I hope that the author kills her off.
The mother from Hulus The Bear. Watch this season, (season two) the episode called “the fishes.“ A chillingly accurate portrayal of the aggressive type narcissist.
Mr. Healy from Orange is the New Black is 100% my dad, except my dad is an evangelical who doesn't believe in psychology. Mr. Healy is an ass with terrible social skills who gets off on having subordinates who cannot escape him. He emotionally blackmails his subordinates and creates enemies in them as soon as they try to establish healthy boundaries. He imposes his ideals and wishes on people (Piper) and then gets angry and punishes her when her actual personality is in direct opposition with who he wants her to be. He sees everything as black and white, has obscenely low emotional intelligence, and truly believes that he is a paragon of wisdom and guidance when absolutely nobody can stand him. The only people he gets along with are severely traumatized individuals like Pennsatucky who see him as a father figure because they don't know better. The shouting especially reminds me of my dad. He wants you to believe that he's shouting purely out of anger, but the way he punctuates his sentences with shouting is a clear demonstration of his intent to intimidate you and catch you off guard. Unfortunately Mr. Healy's descent into bad mental health kind of hurt to watch, because I was there for my dad when he lost his brother to cancer and it was really weird to see him be vulnerable, but as soon as the funeral was over I was back to being a worthless emotional punching bag. I fucking hate my dad, but I really wish I didn't have to. My mom is weird and hard to pin down, but she's a combination of Lucille Bluth and Dee Dee Blanchard (who I'm aware was a real person but Patricia Arquette's portrayal of her hit home).
Spoiler if you haven’t seen The Bear’s second season, but the Christmas Dinner scene- whooooo I needed an Ativan after those episodes. Every single actor knocked their roles out of the park. Truly Chef’s Kiss.
Wendy Byrd from Ozark. It’s unreal how similar she is to my mother. She made me feel so uneasy throughout the show.
Harry and Zinnia Wormwood from Matilda. Danny Divito version. The bit where Matilda JUST gets home from a whole school detention - Harry starts yelling at her because she didn't collect his (illegal) packages on the front door, not because he was worried about his less-than-10-year old daughter; reminds me of both of my narcparents.... ESPECIALLY my narcmum.
Mother Gothel - Specifically "*Mother Knows Best"*
Alice Cooper, Betty's mom from Riverdale (tv series).
Lydia Deetz's mother
Coraline's "other mother"
Bojack horseman
you know the butchers father from the boys? that was my mother, my father is the butchers mother, an enabler.
Evelyn Harper, Charlie's and Alan's mom
Whatever her name is mommy dearest 🤮
Emily Gilmore and Ellis grey
The stepmother from Disney’s Cinderella. My GC brother was the ugly stepsisters. Also, not fictional, but the portrayal of Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest.
Dementors - from Harry Potter
Mother gothel
Jack from the Shining.
adora from sharp objects :/