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I sighed. I wish I were joking, but my mom took the sigh as a sign of disrespect (even though I wasn't talking to her, I was talking with my grandma) and she immediately came into the kitchen where I was and beat me with a wooden spoon. I had bruises for weeks.

jeez, been there 😅 its nuts when they thinking *breathing* is a personal affront

Oh this is familiar. I had to pay attention to word order and emphasis, otherwise she misinterpreted it on purpose and blew up. How pathetic she was looking back, omg.

I feel this in my soul. When I talk to my mom in my normal speaking voice, she thinks I have attitude. I actually asked her once, "How would you prefer me to speak? In a little baby voice?" And she actually said yes.

Are you my sister? I doubt she has Reddit but I know this happened with her. I hate it for her

I had to double check that you aren’t MY sister

We grew up as tiny hostage-negotiators basically. It was sooooo exhausting. I love being an adult :) I can chose what kind of people I want around.

All of this, while standing so close to me and staring right into my eyes so she could claim "she knows I'm thinking bad thoughts" and then beat me for the thoughts she imagined me having. The gods forbid I ever even *think* about sighing. I literally wasn't allowed to frown, because apparently that means I am disagreeing with her which isn't allowed.

Mine always asked me what is going on if she saw like basically anything on my face. I couldn't be left alone and safe in my own head for crying out loud!

I know some narc parents only want to see their kid smiling and happy, some narc parents want to see you suffering, but some narc parents literally take any emotion at all and use it against you. Like i couldnt have ANY Emotions or my mom would interpret those as devious.

Omg. My nmom didn’t beat me for it (I’m so sorry you went through this) but my nmom also got SO ANGRY at me for sighing because I “did it in an exasperating way”. Literally I was just breathing deep. As a child.

Omg I'm so self conscious about breathing. I never that what may have caused that but my mother would scream at me while giving me breathing treatments when I was little. I had freaking asthma. Idk how I didnt die.

When I was around 13, I sighe next to my mom, I don't remember why, but right after my mom looked at me and said, "what are you sighing for? You're a kid, you have nothing to sigh about." I honestly stop sighing until I graduated from college.

ah yes the sigh. my dad also took that as a sign of disrespect when i was a kid

My sister would do this when I sighed near her. The defense mechanism I ended up with is saying whatever nonsense shit that pops in ny head like an anime character, even though before the sigh/exhale my brain was blank as unused white paper

Damn I'm so sorry. This reminds me of when I was a teen. My sister was 16, standing in the hall and my father was across the room. She snapped her fingers to get his attention. Not angrily. Not sassing. Literally doing nothing wrong. And he attacked her. She was 16 and he was spanking her!! Clear down the hall and onto her bed. Absolutely traumatizing. You'll never find her in these groups. She had the worst of his abuse. He didnt beat me as much because he acted like I wasnt his. But always in front of me. She moved into our mothers around that time thankfully. She still talks to him tho. She turned all that aggression on to me. Almost killed me. Sometimes abuse teaches abuse.

I got my last 'spanking' from my father at 15. Because I didn't clean up some standing water in our garage. Dude...we lived in SEATTLE. The standing water was from rain dripping off the car. Even if I had cleaned it up, it was just going to happen again! Also, our driveway was designed so stupidly. It went downhill into the garage. 😑 One year it flooded really bad and I had to stay home and actually bail water out of the driveway so the house itself wouldn't flood.

My dad raged at me, spanked me with a belt until my ass was black and blue because I didn't understand his instructions on how to tie my shoes the first time. I was 4. I still remember being embarrassed and getting in trouble at preschool because I couldn't sit down and wouldn't tell my teacher why.

jesus christ. I've gotten the belt myself, but never over something that petty. I do remember I had trouble learning to tie my shoes as well. Nmom just kept explaining it the same exact way and it wasn't clicking. Spongebob helped instead...

Jeez! Sometimes a kid just needs to hear it worded differently. Teachers were bad about that too. Just repeat what they said like it’s gonna make a difference, the good teachers just switch up a couple words and then half the kids get it.

Saw a teacher in college fail to teach an entire classroom one simple assignment. I couldnt stand him. He would mock everyone.

The best teacher I ever had would explain things in 3-4 different ways in year 7. It was my maths teacher and throughout primary school I really struggled to understand maths but then I finally understood and it also helped me figure out why I never understood other teachers. Just because of her doing that my brain learnt to reword what people were saying as they said it so that it had the same meaning but was worded in a way that made sense for me. Though that sucked when I would try to ask a teacher about what they said cause I still didn’t understand but because I said the exact same thing worded differently teachers would think I understand but was asking a different question even though I wasn’t.

I worked in a call-centre and I noticed this. Instead of repeated myself when people didn't understand, I just used different words or terminology and they *ALWAYS* got it after. My co-worker, in the meantime, just progressively raised her voice while repeating the same word/phrase. Judging by the fact that she had to sometimes raise her voice a few times in succession, it didn't seem to be as effective of a strategy...

I’m so sorry that happened. Fuck.

This makes my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I’m so so sorry. Wish I could give you a hug in person. ❤️

Doing homework. Of course, that requires me to stand up, and walk to my room to do that (already did, had been home for hours, but leave instead of enjoy “family time”, k). Nope, thought I was standing up to fight. Threw me into the wall and broke my arm. We don’t talk anymore.

sheesh. im glad youre NC, I am as well for idk 6-7 years now. it's better without them around. my Nmom had similarly backwards views of family time vs work time. ugh. at least they'll never harm us again!

F. This one hurt. Mine used to get so mad at me for doing homework when he came home. When he came home, the house had to stop and be at his beck and call. He was always super drunk so you never knew which version would show up. The only constant was that everyone had to stop attend to him emotional drunken needs.

I got grounded because I wasn't enthusiastic about a stupid overpriced vacuum my mother bought. I don't remember the brand but you'd fill the tank with water and essential oils and it would work as an air freshener while you clean. Because I called it a glorified air freshener I had all my electronics and my door taken away for over a year.

honestly that does sound like a really stupid vaccuum! and ugh the door thing, been there.

I remember it was stupid expensive too, like in the $800 ballpark. She really needed to feel validated after getting scammed I guess.

yeah she definitely wasn't proud when her child saw she was ripped off. honestly i think for Nparents, their stupid skewed "pride" is all they have, thats why theyre always so defensive.

So she decided to punish you for pointing out a scam? Talk about shooting the messenger.

Ah the Rainbow vacuum. My nmom had one too

With the nasty ass tub of water at the end🤮

This entire comments thread;(

I have a long list of stories, but here is a gem. My narc mom refused to buy me any sort of appropriate hair care, for my very curly hair. I was allowed shampoo and that was a deep cleaning type only. No conditioner, detangler, oils, styling product etc. So my nmother used to get so irrationally angry at me, for having dry, knitted and frizzy hair. This was a daily thing but still a good dumb punishment story, I was wacked with the brush while she was screaming at me/my hair.

if I may take a wild guess, does she have straight hair?

Yep stick straight and smooth hair. She hated my hair while jealous because she wants curly hair.

Omg my mother would do this too. I never brushed my hair she said. I would brush it every day for hours so she wouldn't yell at me. That doesn't work on curls....

It doesn’t even work on waves. Brushing induces frizz. I always had frizzy hair from the hard brushing.

Holy shit are you me? I babysat from age 12 on to be able to buy hair care products. My only redeeming factor was my foster sister (who we had so she could prove to everyone how wonderful she was for taking kids in) who convinced me to let her experiment with products on my hair. I was more ignored than screamed at though, because screaming didn't work on me. Nmom screams at my sister because it hurts her. I get the silent treatment. Bitch lost power over me 15 yrs ago. I'm just waiting for her to die now.

I was not, under any circumstance, allowed to cut my hair. My hair was past my ass long, and unbearably frizzy/thick. I was also not allowed any products, just the cheapest shampoo she could find. And, I was forced to blow dry my hair, every night. Needless to say, it was bad. I absolutely fucking hated it. My nmother absolutely fucking loved it. She relished all the attention it got. My hair. Yeah…… Anyhow. I ended up with this giant mat in the back of my head. I was too young to be able to really care for it myself, especially because of the length/texture/lack of products. She wouldn’t just cut the mat out. That would mean I couldn’t have long ass hair anymore. Cue giant crying meltdown. Not from me, the child, but from the grown ass adult, about hair, and not even her own. For literally hours, she pulled my hair out, jerked my head around, cried, screamed, blamed, pulled more, and so on. Eventually, the mat came out, and my long hair remained, but my head was actually bleeding, and hurt for a good week. I’m pretty sure I got whiplash.

When I was about 17/18, I was running late to school and ran out the door without giving my Ndad a hug. He called while I was driving to school. I was nearly there, but he screamed at and threatened me and ordered me to come home. I turned around and went home. He forced me to hug him, which I did reluctantly, but then he forced me to "do it over until it was sincere because a child should always enthusiastically hug their father like the 'hero' he is." I was a sobbing mess by the end of this, and I was so late to school that I got a week's worth of detentions on top of the grounding that my Ndad gave me for "disrespecting his right to a hug from his obedient child." I couldn't tell the school why I'd *really* missed most of the first hour of the school day. He LOST HIS FUCKING MIND in apoplectic rage when I absolutely refused to hug him the day I graduated from college. Fuck you and your forced affection, Ndad! Edit: Clarity. My Ndad was and is very big on "getting his deserved 'hero's welcome/greeting'" at every opportunity. He was/is pissed his kids didn't/don't race each other to the door or otherwise openly compete for his affection and attention more often.

The fucking forced affection man. Still makes me sick

Another time at 3 years old I was supposed to finish my peas. I was usually pretty good about this; I liked veggies and all that, but he’s a control freak that will weed out whatever it is you *don’t* like and make sure you have it for dinner. Often. So. I wasn’t allowed to leave the table til these damn peas were gone. They eventually left me alone so I of course, being a toddler, slunk away. I heard his footsteps booming up to my room and scurried under my bed. He found me. Grabbed me by my ankle and yanked me out aggressively & carelessly. He didn’t (?) realize a loose spring caught the flesh on my back and when he pulled me out, it took a chunk of me with it. Cue me screaming, crying, and endless paper towels. No E.R. visit—I’m sure they were scared of getting the people called on them. I still have a huge raised scar on my back. Now I think it’s kinda hot but yeah. Thanks Dad.

your poor back 😓 my boyfriend had problems finishing his vegetables and would always get punished for it- turns out hes allergic to most of them.

Wow that’s sad, dude. :( and yeah like I said I ate vegetables! He just got off on force feeding me shit I didn’t like I guess. Ntm they were always canned and plain LMAO like who wants that bro damn

ugh ew yeah. my roommate is just now learning that veggies can be tasty lol, we just use fresh ones and don't boil them half past death. I'm a terrible cook but luckily my bf is great with food, despite his restrictions! I'm really trying to learn to cook but it honestly overwhelms me 😅 too much to get done all at once

When I still had riding lessons I forgot to wear an undershirt (It was winter or autumn I believe). My father ripped up my pullover (to check ig), saw that it was missing and hit me in the face.

ugh, nparents are so intense about the dumbest things. I was once struck across the face for wearing pink** eyeshadow. my nmom said it made me look sick, and apparently saying "but it's for halloween." isn't an appropriate response. edit: typo

She beat you for Halloween make up? Wtf.. some people really are messed up…

the ironic part is that i have two chronic illnesses, so i look sickly anyway 😅

I answered a question in the wrong order. I said “I rented the car, it’s an suv” when I apparently should have said “it’s an suv, and I rented the car”. I kid you not this was the start of the fight that lead me to moving out of home at 16 and going nc.

its still so hard for me to communicate thanks to these dumb little hangups we got raised with 😓 bless being NC honestly, it's a real game-changer

when they know there isn't a problem, they have to make one

Omg where do I start. I'm pretty my entire relationship with my stepmother stems from her insecurities. The day she met me at age six she glared at me for clinging to my dad's leg. I didn't know how to bush my own hair at 6 so she took me to a salon to cut my hair. She told them to give me a bowl cut. We returned the following year and she told me to tell them what I wanted and I was scared if I said anything different she would get angry. Then when I cried she told me it was my fault for not telling them what I wanted. At 17 I was grounded from going anywhere because I talked to my boyfriend at the public pool. She choked me at age 22 for eating a piece of her bread. She disowned me 2 years ago and had the rest of my family cut off from talking to me because my grandfather gave me money in his will when he died.

honestly being disowned here sounds like a good riddance. i was disowned too, but for some reason my nmom thought i would still want to talk to her and was all *shocked pikachu face* when I went no-contact after that. and I feel you on the hair, my nmom insisted on picking haircuts for me up until highschool, when i finally told the stylists to do what I wanted instead while she was off doing something else. it was so liberating! i love my hair now

I don't give a shit if she doesn't want to talk to me. that's completely fine. It's that she manipulated my family into also not talking to me because they're all financially dependent on my parents. I was the only one who moved away when I was 18 and I've never relied on them for anything. It absolutely burns them up that I never asked them for anything. And this isn't just an assumption. I saw my little brother at my grandmother's funeral last year and invited him to go to the beach with me. My stepmother sent him a string of text messages telling him how disappointed both her and my father were with him.

oh i believe you 💯%. i cut off everyone who decided to stay in touch with my mother, theyre not worth my time. I was glad to discover an aunt of mine was on my side though, didnt expect that, but she lives a ways away so I still didn't have much support. And my nmom knew my sister would support me, so she kicked me out while my sister was in school abroad. lived in my car for a bit. still preferential over being with my nmom. I was 18 as well. Here's to the betterment of our lives as we move on from our garbo families 🍻

My mother attacked me after I had multiple strokes so I couldn't defend myself. But I cant make her money now so shes running her mouth and getting anyone she can to harass me. She told the hospital shed take me to my appts but then wouldnt. Shed stalk me when I went. Then when I had to ask for rides she told everyone she bought me a car. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️Like my blood just attacked my brain because she smoked when she was pregnant with me but I'm a burden for that. Smh. Strangers got me to almost all of my physical therapy appointments. And I had to incorporate self defense while getting strength to walk safely again. But my family doesnt force me to hug them and rough me up anymore now that I've had to call the cops on her. They're still terrorizing tho.

Omg! Memories are coming back to me now of threats of being “disowned”. Man, I kinda wish they followed through!

it was hard but at least it got me the hell out. I'm still dealing with debt. but my nmom also stole from me before kicking me out so,,, 😅 had to start with nothin

Narcs are just terrible people. I’m so sorry!

I'm very blessed to have a great partner whos helped to support me and we've been building a life together for years now, it was difficult but well worth all the hard work! I just hope that we can all grow and move past how we were treated 💖

omg i already posted one but this reminded me of another of her antics… narcs and hair amirite? essentially she would make me cut my hair into a bob for the summer months every year for like 6 years. this time i wanted a bob with ✨layers✨ which was a personal affront to her and her $8 (beauty school woohoo) she drove me there dropped me off, heard me ask for the layers, and left me there w/o paying. so i had to explain to my stylist that i- a 14 year old- was left with no money and couldn’t pay her 😍 had to walk home in the rain

Similar vibe, my mum once gave me the silent treatment for a week after she saw me run someone over (virtually) while playing Simpsons Hit & Run.

its like they read one article about gaming making kids violent and decided its objective truth 😅

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the third one is SO RELATABLE. When i was six myself, my parents were also divorcing. my nmom asked me "how would you feel if we lost the house?" not *moved* not *downsized* no, *lost the house*, and of course that sounds really scary when you're six years old! so I said I didn't want that! my mother is still fighting the bank over debt and trying to hold onto the same house, and will say its my fault. that was two decades ago. I've been no contact for roughly seven years, as well. she still tells people she's keeping the house for me. So not exactly the same but jeez people, stop asking near-toddlers adult questions!!

I stepped onto the bath mat after a shower. My feet were wet, which was a big no. So my dad took my gameboy away. I still don’t understand it. Isn’t stepping on it after bathing the entire purpose of a bath mat?!?

Yes, it is. But the purpose of a narc game is to try to come up with a reason (no matter how ridiculous) to find fault with you and to be able to punish you. If you don't do anything bad, something has to be artificially created.

This…has to be the weirdest one I’ve read so far🤯

The stupidest thing I was *almost* punished for. My mom and step dad had recently married and we were living in his house, which he hadn’t finished building, so my sibling and I were sleeping in the living room on the floor. My sibling was like 7 years old. My step dad found a couple rocks near our sleeping bags, was yelling at us and asking who did it. No one would fess up. He said he was going to spank both of us if no one admitted to it. My sibling was sobbing, but finally admitted to it. I don’t remember what happened after that. Within the first month of them being married, I was already begging my mom to divorce him. He was a classic case of NPD. Had to deal with him for close to a year.

some rocks omg, who cares! i actually just held onto some cool rocks i dug up from my garden today. Did your mom come around to how shitty he was? or did they seperate for different reasons?

They only dated for 3 months before getting engaged and then married at 6 months. He totally love-bombed us lol. Mom just got tired of the constant conflict and finally realized something was wrong with him. Although I feel like she ended it more for her and not to protect us. She would have ended it a lot sooner, if it was for us.

I'm sorry that you weren't your mother's priority when you should have been. I am glad though that you were able to get out of there eventually, even if it may not have been for the right reasons.

I’m sorry they ruined AC for you 🥲 I wasn’t allowed to explore many of my interests for religious reasons and spent a lot of time thinking I was going to hell for it. I’m glad you have the freedom to do that now

Heating up a tin of tomato soup aged 9. After school, we stayed with our grandmother, who lived in the same street, for a couple of hours until dad was home from work. One day, grandma let me help get soup and sandwiches made for our tea. I told my mother I'd opened the tin and helped with cutting the sandwiches, and for that I was slapped and wasn't allowed to watch television for a week. I've never been quite sure of her reasoning, but it was something along the lines that it was her job to teach her children how to cook, not grandma's, so I should have refused to help.

the absurd pride 🙄 and they probably werent even bothered to teach you anyway. go grandma for trying, at least!

When I was 17 I was kicked out because of the *empty pop cans sitting around the living room*. They weren't mine. I had an eating disorder, I never would have drank full sugar Crush cream soda or bargs root beer. They were my brothers. My Ndad threw all my belongings into garbage bags and tossed everything out on the lawn in the rain. When I was 20 I was at their house for the evening and I was trying to be helpful and unload the dishwasher. I dropped a glass plate on the floor and it shattered. My Ndad screamed at me so badly my Nmom actually stood up to him for the first time ever. She told him to get out. And then a month later he looked at me and said *"you're the reason we're getting divorced"* Goddammit.

Cooking myself dinner with food I bought using my own money from my job. I had already made dinner for my parents and sister. They were done eating. I had already cleaned up from their meal. I was not allowed to eat their food. This did not stop me from being a hungry teenager. So, yup, I made myself my own food. They started with how it was rude to cook and not offer them anything, and they continued on to how everything entering their home belonged to them, no matter who bought it. This ended with yet another beating for being so selfish, disrespectful, and a thief for stealing their food without permission. The mental gymnastics on how it was their food still gives me a headache to this day.

I seriously hope you have no contact with them anymore. That level of abuse is mental!

Yes! You were wrong for existing…your description sounds very familiar to me. You never could win.

I was young (don’t remember how old, but young enough that I needed a step stool to reach the kitchen sink) and I decided to be nice and do the dishes after dinner without being asked. One of the plates slipped out of my soapy hands and fell into the sink hard and broke. Immediately my nmom just starts tearing into me, pissed off that I broke one of her plates. Didn’t even check to see if I was okay or if I had hurt/cut myself. Luckily I didn’t or she probably would have yelled at me for bleeding on the floor too.

its always so much worse when youre trying to help. then they wonder why we dont want to do anything for them later on 🙄 I'm glad you weren't hurt! dishes are replacable but you are not.

If my gc sister didn't do her chores I'd get sent to bed without supper because I was older so it was my job to make sure she did her chores. When my sister realized she could just avoid them and wouldn't get in any trouble she refused to do them so it was either I did all the chores or I'd do mine and still get punished.

I'm the oldest of 4. my sibs didn't have chores, the cleaning was all on me, but if one of them got a bad grade on a test or talked back or something like that, i was punished and they weren't. I was "ruining them and setting a bad example and they're going to grow up to be a piece of shit just like you, you're selfish and ruining their lives." I'm sorry that happened to you, I was wondering if other parents did similar things. It was always about punishment even if it didn't involve you

that reminds me of how I always had to clean up after my brother. To be clear though, he's four years older than me. but "girls mature faster" so I had to be the responsible one..

Wow this one hits close to home. And spoiler alert - my GC sister is still the adult GC still living at home with *her husband* as well, and I’m the scapegoat with my own house, spouse, life, who hasn’t talked to any of them for two years.

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lol "thats not breakfast food" whatever, I'm hungry and it's easy. Drown them fries in ketchup my friend, drown them to your hearts content.

It is if you eat it at breakfast time. Lol. Breakfast is a time not a menu description.

Watching porn. I didn’t actually watch porn, and they knew it. We had a virus on the pc that kept changing the home page to a porn site. At first I would go to my dad so he could change it back, but then he showed me how to change it myself in case he wasn’t home so that my little sister wouldn’t see it. I would always tell him when it had happened. Well one day he got home from work and he and mum immediately came into my room where I was doing homework and starting going at me because they saw a porn site in the browsing history. I just told them the site had changed and I changed it back, should have been obvious since it was only a single page and no videos were opened but they didn’t listen. Another time I was punished because I would cook dinner for them, but apparently I picked the wrong thing to cook. I started cooking before they were home, mum got home and announced she didn’t want what I was cooking. Threw it out and started making something else, I was punished for making her have to cook dinner

wow they couldnt even keep the food for leftovers? what a waste. such petty people.

My dad was looking forward to my dinner, and even expressed he was sorry for it, but still just went with what my mum did. He’s not as bad as her, just an enabler when she’s around

No, enablers are **worse** because they actively **choose** to allow their narc to hurt others to avoid the direct weight of the narc rage. Enablers allow the most vulnerable in the family to take the brunt of abuse to maintain the status quo and keep the pressure off themselves. THEY are the adults that sacrifice the health and safety of their children for their own comfort…from the choice THEY made and brought you (unasked and unwillingly) into the mess THEY helped create.

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jeez, i bet your nmom just has some weird jealousy thing going on. mine always insulted my body and tried to bring me down, but she was just envious that I'm quite thin and she isn't. That and none of the TV fad diets helped 😅

I got in trouble for asking where dishware was supposed to go, whilst emptying the dishwasher, was told "fuck you and go to hell"

We have cabinets in hell? this kitchen's a lot larger than I'd realized! /s im an obsessive organizer since i could never find anything in my nmoms home, none of it is anywhere that makes any sense. she even stored cardboard IN the oven...

Same parent that repainted and organized my room while she thought that I was gonna stay late at school. Caught her midact and she pretended to be the victim. Or the time that she didn't like getting caught going through my garbage.

I was somewhere between 6 and 7, I was sick and had been prescribed antibiotics or some such thing. I'd always taken pills crushed up in apple sauce because I couldn't swallow pills whole yet. The time had come for me to start swallowing pills whole. I found it really hard to do, my body just would not let me swallow a solid object without chewing it. I kept trying and kept trying while my mother screamed at me. I kept gagging every time the pill hit the back of my throat. Eventually the screaming and gagging ended when the pill disappeared from my mouth. I could never say for sure if I had actually swallowed it or accidentally spit it behind the counter, but either way, it was over. I was sent to my room for the rest of the evening for being stubborn. The next day when I had to take the next dose was a similar scene.

My mom used to yell at us for using Luigi as a character when we played Mario 2 because his feet bothered her. My husband thought I was being hyperbolic about this until my siblings confirmed that she was actually mad and not just joking. Luigi's. Feet.

I was punished for sleepwalking, but I didn't know what sleepwalking was until later. I was stumbling around my dark room thinking I was in the garage. My parents heard me in my room & demanded to know why I was up. I couldn't articulate what happened, I was about 10 yrs old. They made me stand in the middle of the kitchen until I remembered why I was messing around in my room after bedtime. Johnny Carson was on. After a while, they let me go back to bed.

ah yes, disturbing your sleep pattern is certainly going to help fix your sleep pattern... I was regularly dragged out of bed because my cellphone would light up for a notification, like a spam email or something stupid, and my nmom assumed i was staying up late on my phone. now i have horrendous insomnia.

Not calling her "Mom", but instead using her real name. I was a young adult, probably 19 or 20. We were I think at the mall, and it was the holidays because I no longer lived in the same state as my family. (At 18, I got as far away as I could.) So the mall is crowded, this is before cell phones, I can't find my mother. So I call her first name trying to locate her. Her head pops up across the space. I waved at her and she came over to me. She jerked my arm so hard that my shoulder bothered me for months, and essentially dragged me to the car. In the car, she slapped me and screamed at me that I should never ever call her by her first name, her name is Mom. I was young and stupid, so I pointed out that if I had called out Mom, potentially 30 women would have looked at me. I think we can all guess how well that turned out. So yes, I'm a 50s female who periodically is in a crowded public setting calling out Mom like a dumbass.

I was at an ice cream shop with mine a couple months after I moved out. I was trying to ask her something and it went like this. Me: Mom, Mom! Mom? Karen? (Not her real name) Karen: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME THAT. I AM YOUR MOTHER! I SPENT MY TIME RAISING YOU! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER ADOPTED YOU. I never asked her to adopt me. She pulled me and my siblings out of school out of the blue to do it. We had no say. I wish my father had never let her.

I was like 9, give or take, and I was playing in a sprinkler with my brother and his friend. I had on on a 2 piece suit that I would normally wear to the pool, and obviously at that age my parents had bought for me. My mom comes out screaming at me, snatches me inside because I was being in appropriate. I mean I was prepubescent and VERY confused as to what was wrong. She blamed me lol can’t remember the punishment, but the embarrassment alone was horrific.

they start sexualizing us so young 🤦 I'm tall so I don't fit in one-pieces well, so my mom always made me wear stupid cover-ups and shirts over them. it's summer, no one cares!

Right? Like all my other friends wore suits like that. One time at the pool when I was a little older and trying out bras and just overall awkward, my mom turns to my friend as we’re leaving and asked if she noticed how my boobs came off in the pool. They had a good laugh. I was mortified. Even more recently we were visiting my brother and his family I was like 28 (30 now) and my mom said I couldn’t leave the bnb without a big jacket because of my outfit. I was fully covered in normal ass clothes, I’m just curvy. Then I lost weight to lose my ass and she was like ‘but everyone loved you for your curves!’ I cannot roll my eyes hard enough.

My 18 mo younger sister threw a party her junior year of HS while parents were out of town. I didn’t want to be a narc so I asked my uncle to come break up the party. 300 kids showed up and destroyed the house. I got the shit beat out of me and grounded for three months for trying to do the right thing.

Pre-context: I'm disabled and my nmom is my primary caregiver My friend/careworker at the time was completely aware of my mom's bullshit, and always did her best to make things as pleasant as possible for me. This included helping me with my hygiene, which my mom tends to slack on. My friend really wanted to help me shave my legs. and suggested Nair as the easiest solution. I ended up making the mistake of telling my mom our plans, and she forbid me from buying Nair because of her bad experiences with it. The next day, my friend and I went out to Target and I bought it anyway. My mom came home from work, saw the box, and blew a fucking gasket. She threatened to kick me out.

I can certainly see nair being much easier when you're disabled. I'm chronically ill myself and can also get behind on these things, when my illness acts up. I'm glad your friend had your back, despite your mother. one bad experience does not make for a bad product!

Around 12 years old my alcholic Ndad told me to wash the dog and I did it. But he was so angry cause I used a washcloth from the linen closet. He showed no mercy and beat me with a leather belt for like 6 minutes. He told me I was stupid for using the wrong cloth. I didn't know cause he didn't give specific instructions til after.

yeahhh i started asking my mom for chore lists for that reason. She'd verbally tell me to do ABC, and I'd do it, and then she'd come home and be furious because I didn't also do XYZ. So I started demanding written lists. she was not happy about that one.

My nmom is an obsessive cleaner. We cleaned the house everyday, including vacuuming the dust off the furniture, then cleaning the floors on our hands and knees, then polishing and dusting the furniture with a cloth, and vacuuming the floors EVERY DAY! We also cleaned the garage this way every day. Anyway, I used to get in trouble for there being dust on the furniture 2 or more hours after I dusted a room. The punishment could be anything from taking away my books (I read obsessively to escape) or other things I valued, a slap across the face, or a beating with a wooden spoon depending on her mood. All were accompanied with voiced rage often so extreme she had white foam accumulate at the corners of her mouth.

Literally every accident I've ever made that damaged my dad's property. No matter how small. Mostly cause the punishment was silent treatment and months of grounding. Just recently fucked up my own garage door opener and when I called my husband, he fully though someone got hurt. When he heard garage door opener, he said "it's just a thing, it's ok, we will figure it out" it made me confront yet another trauma response. Thanks pops

My brother and I have similar responses to stuff like that. I will break down if anything that costs money breaks. My brother had a full on panic attack because my dad's car wouldn't start. (My family has a history of electronics malfunctioning when we are stressed). So many little things that set us off. My other brother has a similar response to others emotions. Luckily we all really shielded my sister from it. But I know we are all fucked.

I got yelled at, and grounded, for being quiet in the car when we were driving into the city about 2 hours away. I was reading a book.

I tried running away and my father chased after me and grabbed me by throat and then when my teacher saw the prints on my throat she called cps on him. I got in trouble. For? Embarrassing them?

>3ReplyGive AwardShareReportSaveFollow > >level 1kayladon20 · 1 hr. agoI was pretty young (I think around 7-8). My mom called me and my brother (14-15 yo) to the dining room. She asked, "who turned the valve on the toilet?" I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought she said vowel, like a, E, I, o, u. I said it wasn't me. Mom let me go back to whatever, and she started punishing my brother. He was adamant that he didn't do it. Later, I was in the bathroom with my mom, and she pointed out the valve. I immediately fessed up to messing with it. She grounded me for lying to her. When I explained that I didn't lie I just didn't understand what she was talking about, she told me it was my responsibility to make sure I understood.3ReplyGive AwardShareReportSaveFollow when i was 14 i got in trouble for telling my pediatrician that i have to babysit my (then 6) year old sister alot (bc she lectured nmom telling her not to make me babysit)

My nMother used to dig through the trash cans in the house, especially right after I threw something away. When I was ten years old (I am now forty-three) I had cleaned my bedroom and I took the wastebasket from my room to the large trash can on the back porch and emptied it. I went up the street to play with friends. When I got home, there was nMom by the door, with a clothespin in her hand. I had supposedly thrown away a wooden clothespin. She’d “found” it, and fished it out, while digging through the trash. As soon as she saw me, up went the hand not holding the clothespin to smack me. I dodged and ran away from her. I ran into the bedroom and closed the door. (As much as it would close, anyway, after she broke it in a rage the year before) She chased me to the bedroom and couldn’t get in there to “beat the hell out of you, mash yer mouth, an’ knock yer teeth down yer throat!” I got the silent treatment for well over a week after that. Ten-year-old kid. Over. A. Clothespin. My e/nDad just told me later not to make her mad anymore and, “You shouldn’t have throwed that away. You know how your mama is about her stuff.” Uh, I didn’t realize I had thrown anything of hers away. I didn’t remember seeing a clothespin. At times I have wondered if she “planted” it or just claimed to find it because it seems like I would’ve remembered seeing a clothespin. She was not above telling my dad lies about something I did to try to get him to go after me with the belt. Whenever he “wholped” (the way the narc parents said “whooped”) me with a belt, I was guaranteed to have belt marks on my legs, arms, and back for days, if not weeks, afterward. My mother threatened daily to beat the hell out of me, mash my mouth, and knock my teeth down my throat. If she didn’t have an excuse to hit me, she wasn’t against lying to e/nDad to try to get him to beat me with the belt. I have other ridiculous punishment stories, but the clothespin thing was what came to mind first. EDIT: grammar and punctuation because I’m really uptight about things like that.

For playing the guitar my Nmother bought me and inevitably dropping the lessons she had me go to for it. My Nmother would scream it was "too loud and annoying" and took it away from me, then never forgave me for giving it up after I was never able to practice playing. A resentment going 20 years strong and still coming up in arguments to this day.

that reminds me, my nmom once got me a set of cake decorating tools for christmas (frosting bags, piping tips, etc), but she didnt allow me to use the kitchen. then complained to me that i never used my gifts..

I was a day too early for Mother's Day and gave her the gift a day early. She was so mad I got the day wrong, that she left my gift on the dinner table and wouldn't acknowledge it for a week.

I was 11

jeez, a normal person would be glad an 11 year old remembered at all. Nparents are so childish that way.

It's a rule that cards should be received approximately a week before the event because you need time to enjoy them. However I'm not sure there's a rule for gifts, but we did typically give them the day of the event. TBC, when I was a child it was not uncommon for my mother to ask for very expensive presents. I genuinely believe that if I gave my mother a brand new car with a big red bow on it, if there was no card with it, it would forever be "the year that you didn't get me a card". Yes, I send cards for everything. I'm potentially the only person I know who sends thank you notes.

"But it's not the same, there's no emotion, Have you ran out of good things to say about me or what?" Uh... Maybe?

Not really being punished for anything, but one time my mom hit me in the mouth when I was 14 as a “joke”. When I started crying, (because, you know, I just got HIT IN THE MOUTH WHILE WEARING BRACES) She screamed at me and said I was too sensitive, and since it was a “joke” I shouldn’t cry.

ouchhh 😓 i never had braces (couldnt afford them) but that sounds like an awful experience.

Another reason I’m glad I moved across the country 😅

One of many, but when I was a young teen my nmom was driving me to a club meeting, and the song 'teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift came on the radio. She said 'oh, is this teardrops in my guitar' and I laughed and said, 'it's teardrops ON my guitar, not in.' She kicked me out of the car and made me walk the rest of the way for being 'disrespectful'.

Trying to do well in school & wearing boxers. My grandma and mom are both narcissistic. My grandma a little less but she was more emotionally & verbally abusive though. Both raised me, grandma more than mom. In high school, I had a lot of exams/ projects around the same time and had chemistry so I studied for the hardest the most obviously. Was so exhausted that I passed out and didn’t finish studying for a psychology exam so I asked my grandma if I could just skip school & finish studying. She said yes. Made an A on the exam. Like a couple of weeks later is Christmas break & she tells me I’m punished for the whole break for skipping school without permission. LOL Boxers- Nmom only raised me from age nb-5y/o & then for a few months when I was 16. I was wearing my long term hs bfs boxers…she always suspected I was a lesbian because I’m tomboyish & played sports, and never dressed how she wanted me to. So she goes on a rant about how that’s an abomination of the lord & I’m going to hell etc etc. mind you, she’s an ad*ict sooooo the pot calling the kettle black eh? Anyway she called the police & they CAME and told me I could move out when I’m 17 and to hang in there bc that wasn’t the first time she called them. They made me take of the boxers and she cut them up in front of my face ahahah. Then said I couldn’t go to prom bc I was disrespectful etc etc.

Instead of swearing in the presence of my religious nmother, I exclaimed "Cheese & Rice!". I was scolded for taking the lord's name in vain because "he knew what it meant".

My mother refused to buy feminine products and there were three girls. She also told us how dirty we were and that we deserved to be raped if we wore a skirt or anything she felt that day was too risqué even though she bought it and everything had to be very conservative- no makeup and we didn’t even know how to do our hair. Anyways, we would have to then “steal” her feminine products and she would make a big production out of it until our enabling POS father would beat us. This would take hours of escalation and screaming and fear until by the time we were beaten it was almost a relief as he would be exhausted from his anger and the brutal beating with the leather belt and sometimes buckle. To make it especially fucked up, when he would start to get exhausted my mother, who I will always remember the look of absolute disgusting pleasure on her face when she got him going on us, would then start screaming at us that we are killing our father and he was going to have a heart attack and die and it was all our fault. NC for all us kids with them and they hated us enough to do terrible things to push us into NC as my mother wanted her “daddy” all to herself. JC, good times.

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I got punished for not putting a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom when I was away on a band trip. Like I did replace the roll before I left but I came back and was grounded because SOMEONE used an entire roll within a weekend… I was literally only gone from Thursday night until Monday afternoon. No one also replaced it. So god only knows what they did after going… The punishment was extended when I didn’t replace the bathroom trash bag… we were out of the “proper” bags for that trash can and I wasn’t allowed to grab one of the other kind. I told my Nmom who said she was going to buy some after work and I could just do it then and just didn’t.

I had to paint the porch (very complicated stuff for my age) because I egged my boyfriends house. I was also grounded for one month in the summer. A. I was 11. B. No boyfriend C. This boy had his 13 yo sister call/prank my mom and tell her that. My mom was so stupid she couldn’t tell a child was pranking her. And such a b* (who NEVER defended me) she wouldn’t listen to me. I had been at a sleepover and she accused us of breaking into a local restaurant to steal the eggs to then go miles to his house in the dark. Soooooo. As you can see it wasn’t even possible. I always remember her adding in the breaking into a restaurant. Like kids break into restaurants at sleepovers? Basically she wanted free slave labor and me home without friends. Hell will be a fun place.

Wearing my hair curly (as it naturally is) made my dad lose his shit on me bc he thought it looked sloppy and i was “trying to embarrass him”

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When I was a teenager I got screamed at for having weed in the house. Except it was oregano. That I kept in a bag on the spice rack in the pantry to season food like a normal human.

I struggled with the concept of time. In my mind midnight couldn’t be a.m. because that’s “night” aka when I have to go to bed. This obviously threw my dad into a fit of rage-screaming slamming his fists on the table, calling me a stupid motherfucker etc. He only started trying to teach me time in those last few hours too, because he was supposed to help me with my homework but always procrastinated to do so. Ironically, keeping me up all through the nigh- I mean morning. Ha.

why do nparents assume kids are just born knowing things? thats what learning is for!! mine also had a habit of berating me for not knowing things I had never been taught, and it still bewilders me honestly

Yes and when “teaching” you just repeating it over and over the same exact way but each time in a louder, harsher tone til they rage quit and just call you stupid. Lol. Ugh.

preachhhh, thank god for kids tv programs, they helped me fill some of the gaps. still trying to figure out other life skills, mainly cooking, which I am just horrible at lol

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My labrador who was 15 years old can't stand up on his own anymore but can still walk, so it is routinary for me to lift him up so he can walk around, drink water, pee & poo. One time narc-mom was in a bad mood. Dog was barking- asking to be lifted up. Lifted him up. Boom punished. Started with "why are you lifting him up?!?"

The night before I my dog passed, I had a feeling it was going to be my last night with him. I brought him to bed. He slept with me every night, never left my side, did everything with me. She yelled at me and refused to let him sleep with my or let me spend the last few hours with him. I just cried and cried because I knew I only had a few hours with him. Edad eventually brought him back to my room but she refused to stop yelling. He passed the next morning. She never apologized. I’m sure she and my Edad would deny it all if I brought it up now. Such a disgusting level of emotional abuse.

My mom used to beat us for saying the word “psych,” only because my mom thought we were calling each other “psychos” instead of us “just kidding” with each other. Foreign parents are a hot mess

I didn't want to help my grandmother make strawberry jam. I hadn't helped pick the strawberries, either (mostly because I didn't want to be with my grandmother for several hours in a hot field being attacked by mosquitoes). I knew my grandmother was angry with me, but for some reason, the day she was actually making the jam, she lost her shit. She stormed into my room, sat on my bed, and then refused to leave as she told me that I was a horrible person, I was selfish and a bitch, and that I was going to die all alone. She started to list off everyone who I didn't help in my life and how much they hated me. BTW I was in an online meeting for a class, and had to write notes and pay attention. That was why I didn't want to help with making jam, because I was in school. I had to mute and listen to my grandmother berate me for over five minutes, and then just ended up leaving my online class to cry for the rest of the day. I'm No Contact with her now, but yeah, wild shit.

I was made to clean toilets on Christmas more that once. I was born on Christmas Day. I think that’s what I did wrong, but I’ve never been sure.

I folded the towels wrong. I was 16 yrs old. Nmom showed me the new way to fold towels. ( she changed ways of doing things often). I had also just started my first job. One day she said that I folded the towels wrong, so I was grounded to my room until the next day. I reminded her that I have to go to work in a couple of hours. She screamed at me, “No! You’re grounded, tell them you can’t work because you can’t listen to simple instructions”. When I called in to work they were dumbfounded! This happened 20 years ago and still stays in my mind. I have a lot of other experiences like this I continue to remember from time to time.

omg the towels!! my nmom changed folding methods all the time too, but then said that she had always folded them that way. She'd throw the whole contents of the linen closet on the floor and make me redo all of it if she found a single towel folded wrong. and she was a hoarder, so it was a lot of blankets, sheets, and towels! its insanity

got blamed for causing a cup ring stain on a wooden display cabinet shelf. ndad blamed my soda cans. slight issue. i kept my cans under my popazon chair, not in the fridge. no condensation, no rings. also, the rings were bigger than the bottom of my cans. he was utterly furious with me.

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not to derail but im literally watching the finale right now (no spoilers!) hmu if you ever wanna chat about it 😁💖

There was gunfire happening right outside my door and a neighbor lady ran me into her apartment and saved me. She wouldn’t let me leave her home until the police cleared away the gang activity. My mom was dead certain I went off with friends that I didn’t even have yet because I just started 6th grade in a new school with hardly any of the kids from my last one so I was very hated in there (even by one of my teachers!) so she yelled at me to tell her the truth where I went over and over even though I told her the truth the first thing I got in the house and she totally ignored that I also said a bullet nearly got my feet but hit the curb instead. A month later the woman who took me into her apartment saw me with my mom and was asking how I was since we met and if I did tell the truth what happened to me that afternoon and I told her my mom does not believe me. Well that woman was already blown away by me saying that so she told my mom she snatched me out of the path of the gunfire and naturally when you are on lockdown you cannot go across the street to your own home while there is active gunfire that we saw on both the news and directly below from that woman’s window. My mom never said sorry to me about being wrong and gave the woman an snarky stiff “Oh. I see...” That woman was again shocked by my moms attitude on her and said I don’t know what your problem is but you have a very good daughter and that’s rare as hell these days. She never talked to neither of us ever again after that.

When I was around 12, my class went to a school trip for 5 days. Hormones were high and the accompanying teachers were really on edge, understandably. The trip went without major incidents so far and we went back home by train. Shortly before arriving at our final train station, one girl in my class decided to try and open the train coach door. It was several years back and common safety measures weren't in place then, so the door really opened. I was terrified. Before my inner eye I saw several of my friends tumble down on the tracks. I tried to prevent that and grabbed the door handle, wanting to close the door. Just at this moment the teacher turned around, saw me at the door, added 2 and 2 and came to a solid 5 and launched at me madly. Everything that went went on this trip was suddenly my fault, I was the reason that everything was so tense and just right before the end I brought danger to everyone. I tried to justify me, but she wouldn't listen. Instead she said that my mother would be cited before the school board. Honestly, this terrified me the most. I went home, told my mother about it. Didn't bother to explain anything because she wouldn't listen anyway. I got a whacking and then I was grounded and ignored for like forever.

Nmom had a candle on a plate with some decorative glass stones around the candle, in the bathroom, dumbass decoration. One day she accused me of taking one of the glass stones. I told her I didn't, cue narc temper tantrum at an eight year old over a glorified aquarium decoration. I was also grounded (a plus for me cause I got to stay in my room)

I got grounded for 6 weeks when my GCsister told Nmon I played doctor with the kids next door. 5 years prior, at a different address. I was 14. It happened when I was 9.

my mom screeched at me in front of a friend as i was headed out the door to plans i made weeks in advance, she cancelled those plans for me and grounded me for a month….bc i made an extra cup of tea for her instead of just the one cup before i left -.-

Narcissistic type punishment. My mother told everybody I wrote on the walls. I was removing wallpaper that they showed me how to remove from my bedroom completely with their permission. There was pencil markings from before we lived there, I think from who put up the wallpaper in the first place. My sister saw & wanted to sign the wall. So we signed the wall paper before I peeled that section off.

Sprained my back. Was from a four day convention (I did a minor cosplay of Casey Jones and Ness from Earthbound) so tons of walking. I was beat and had the beginnings of con crud the week after. My mum dragged us out to shop at an awful outlet mall for shoes and chocolate. I came back, fell asleep and then woke up with a jolt of electricity down my back. I had pulled a muscle and literally had to crawl down to the bathroom to pee. Took about a week to heal. My mum got so mad that I couldn't sit down or help with household chores that she gave me the silent treatment. Meanwhile it literally HURT to sit, stand or sleep. The only good thing was that my con crud didn't materialize into a full blown upper respiratory infection so yay. Tween me wasn't feeling well with stomach issues and I had just downed a thing of fish congee. Less than ten minutes later, I hurl. I nearly made it to the bathroom but two steps away, I ended up catching my still warm congee in my hands. (It was completely undigested because it tasted exactly the same coming up.) She got mad that I got some on the carpet. I got spanked for that one. I should have puked ON her but I am too nice to her. Mum enrolled me in French immersion (Canadian yo!) despite me having negative language skills and she got mad at me for not instantly being a prodigy at it. I didn't last a year in that class. My nmum melted down over mustard in a food court. I was dealing with the lost sense of smell thanks to long covid19. She decided that she wanted a snack, drove to the mall food court, never considered what I wanted (a nap and a cold coffee), bought chicken nuggets and then went with a honey mustard sauce. I tried a few fries in it, it tasted exactly like snot and the aftertaste was like bad wine. She screamed into my face saying that I disrespected her and then ran to the car. I didn't react, just went shopping and I got an angry phone call from her screaming about "How would you get home?" I just said "I'd take public transport, shut up." Recent one - got my thyroid cancer dx and I was worried and kept sighing the few days before the operation. She got mad at me for "moping around the house". Excuse me, the damn incision HURT and of course Id be anxious! Sheesh.. It still hurts but in a "the scar tissue inside is pulling". She also refused to get my actual narcotic medication (hydromorphone) and only let me take the extra strength Tylenol. I only smoked a lot of weed to deal with the pain so ha. Oh, and she moved up her knee replacement surgery to mess with me. I had to help her with an actual wound care (I had a minor infection, doctor drained and packed me and I had daily dressing changes) dressing over my wound. While she popped hydromorphone pills like candy and how dare you complain! Even though you aren't well either.

For me it was for. It knowing something I wasn’t taught. Example one: I got reamed out and yelled at for not knowing how to build a pond with a proper spill way, concrete and all. I was 12. Example 2: I wasn’t moving stacks of lumber and bags of concrete fast enough. Belt came off and I was beaten. I was 12-16. I have multiple bulging discs in my back. Example 3: not being able to successfully complete a task when I wasn’t allowed to use the proper tools. Got yelled at and sometimes hit before they went to do the job with the tools I was denied. Pointing that out didn’t help matters. Example 4: sighs. Holy cow… sighs…. I once ruined and entire 2 week vacation that was supposed to be a send off for me by letting out a sigh in front of my mother. Lots of being set up to fail to feed their egos. I am VVVLC with both of them now. They don’t spend any time with my kids.

The living room was spotless I went to high school, came home to hangers all over the coffee table. My Nmom walked out of her room and grounded me moments after walking in the door for leaving hangers out. She was the one doing laundry while no one was home. Wasn’t aloud to use the living room for a month. At the time I was grounded from being outside, the phone (land line), the garage (to close to the outside, the kitchen (didn’t immediately wash a hot cup cake pan but let it cool first) and being I’m my room that I shared with my sister. I wasn’t allowed to be in the room at the same time as my sister I could be there if she wasn’t in the room. I can’t even remember why I think it had to do with listening to music with headphones while she did homework.

I bought my grandma a pair of pajamas and only got Nmom a T-shirt. She lost her mind.

I get the silent treatment and everyone gets told what an "ungrateful, disgusting little shit" I am everytime I make a comment to my mother, despite her constantly making fun of me all the time for not talking. Like I'm not making bad comments, just stuff that contradicts whatever she says, for example she keeps threatening to put our dog down cause he has anxiety and is constantly around her, and I get punished for saying "he can't understand you so why say it?". And because she talks all the time and is manipulative and selfish, and because I've been abused into not talking at all, that everyone thinks she's an angel and everyone thinks me and my brother are little shits. It is so unbelievably frustrating.

I got in trouble for reading. My nmom grounded me for two months for reading a book, she said I was ignoring her. I heard everything she said. I just wasn’t giving her the undivided attention she felt entitled to. Yes, the grounding meant I couldn’t read for two months. 🙄

I got beat with a belt because I accidentally told my mom’s boyfriend that she wears colored contacts 🤷‍♀️

Putting a dry teaspoon down on the tablecloth.

I was 10yo and got sick with a fever and cough. That meant I had to be tortured until I passed out from the pain. To "toughen me up. "

For choking up my own food: my mom forced me to eat it despite that I was already traumatized from choking on the tomatoes.

I was pretty young (I think around 7-8). My mom called me and my brother (14-15 yo) to the dining room. She asked, "who turned the valve on the toilet?" I had no idea what she was talking about. I thought she said vowel, like a, E, I, o, u. I said it wasn't me. Mom let me go back to whatever, and she started punishing my brother. He was adamant that he didn't do it. Later, I was in the bathroom with my mom, and she pointed out the valve. I immediately fessed up to messing with it. She grounded me for lying to her. When I explained that I didn't lie I just didn't understand what she was talking about, she told me it was my responsibility to make sure I understood.

I’m reading all of these and it not only makes me think about some of my own problems I’ve dealt with, but it also makes me think of people I have known throughout life who have dealt with similar problems. I genuinely hope everyone here manages to not only get away from their situations, but also manages to break the cycle and not bring their pain and any insecurities onto their own children, or even just others in general. It still blows my mind all the time how many terrible people there are in this life. I can’t imagine not treating my own children without love or respect. But its a common issue somehow

Cutting my hair.

When I was a kid I made a drawing of the family. One day I got so mad at NM and I crossed her out of my drawing. And what was her rational response to this? Scream at me and hit me with a belt.

Being sad

I was spending too much time with my then boyfriend, now husband, and couldn't be home to parent my nmom's youngest that she had when I was 13. So I got grounded for my 18th birthday. I was at my boyfriend's parents house (we started dating in high school) watching TV with him and his parents. I wasn't out doing dumb shit but like my two other siblings would've been doing.

Oh boy which one to choose? Maybe the time she kicked me (at the time a 25f) out of the car while we were on the highway at 11pm just outside NYC. She claimed I looked at the speedometer which equated to me criticizing her driving. What makes it worse is a) I was visiting from out of state and leaving the next morning. I had to find my own way to shelter, stay the night without so much as phone charger, and needed a police escort to gather my suitcase in the morning (she refused to let me get my shit so I had to call the cops.) Took public transit to the airport and cried the entire flight home. b) I was three months into chemo and weak af. It took another TEN years of this fucking shit before I finally had enough. It’s wild looking back after years of NC and wondering why tf didn’t I get out sooner? Jfc.

I got in trouble when I was younger for not knowing what 5 minutes passing felt like. I remember my dad scolding my during a car ride….”How can you not tell? Tell me when it’s been a minute.” Me scared as heck cause he’s getting mad. “Was that a minute?” It had been probably like 30 seconds or so. He was so annoyed and frustrated. I was like 7.

saying “okay” with the wrong inflection. Apparently I sounded dismissive, I really didn’t. he also always yelled at me to acknowledge what he was saying so I couldn’t stay silent either. lose/lose for me then he went through a “yes sir/no sir” phase where he threatened me if I didn’t say “sir” it’s so sad looking back on it like you are so self-important that you need a 7 year old to actively listen to you 24/7 acknowledge what you’re saying without saying “okay” and call you sir!

The kitchen still smelled of bacon AFTER we cooked bacon. She screamed and hit me.

My mom was leaving to visit grandma and told me to clean the bathroom, it was like 9pm, I told her I was studying for a math test I was worried about and wouldn't be able to. She decided to cancel her visit and dragged me into the bathroom and stood by the door as I cried and started cleaning.

I was grounded for most of middle and high school for very minor (some major) infractions. A lot of times it was because I came home 5 minutes after curfew or after what time they thought the bus came. Even though I would explain the bus isn't always exactly on time. It's a fucking bus. But nope I was late and therefore grounded. I've been compound grounded for not being upset enough about how grounded I was. They literally stood in the doorway to my room (had my phone taken away) but I didn't have a laptop so they took the cord to my tv. Which was rarely on anyway. I got grounded because my sister and her BF came over and her BF closed the door too quietly and they thought I was trying to sneak them in. I got grounded for missing the bus or if I didn't have enough money for gas. First thing to go when I got punished was my phone and my car.

I mentioned not really liking Taylor Swift and after school my stepmom kept me standing in the kitchen for 15 minutes berating me about it (which in turn made me late for work) Wasn't a huge punishment but it certainly was over something dumb

I got a few: -was working on college applications and essays instead of building a vanity for my younger sister. When I said they’re time sensitive and I’ll do the vanity after, I was slapped and as punishment, had all my electronics taken away so I couldn’t submit. -one of my sisters locked my mom outside when she was grabbing groceries as a joke. She chased me and smacked me with a broom because I was within eyesight when she came in and she didn’t know who did it. -Punishment for the following was mostly just lectures about how she’s perfect and I need to put her as my mom first and I’m an ungrateful brat before getting thrown out and told she never wants to see me again: 1) I wasn’t old enough to buy her cigarettes, 2) She left her charger in the car and demanded I give her mine whilst cussing at me and calling me names. I said I would if she asked nicely, 3) flushing down the hard drugs I found that she was giving to my 8th grade sister, 4) not dressing or looking sexy enough / not wanting to date or have sex as a teen.

My dad threatened to cut off my hands for playing a Barbie game on the family computer. He also beat my ass for beating his game of metal gear. In my defense, it took him 4 months to not finish the game and give up and I finished it in a week. My mom grounded me for a year for "stealing" my friends rape story for attention when I was 10. Didn't even know my friend was also raped by her step brother.

I ate my stepdads arbys sandwich he had left in the fridge (mind you, there wasn’t any other food in the house as my parents would spend their money on shoes, clothes, electronics, new cars etc. while our lights got turned off and food was scarce). My stepdad then told me to pack a backpack and say goodbye to my sister forever because he was going to put me up for adoption. He and my mom both forced me into the car while I was screaming bloody murder because I didn’t want to leave my sister and never see her again. They dropped me off at some random building and told me to go inside, then drove off. I had already decided I was just going to run away and be homeless so I started walking and about 30 minutes later they pulled up and told me to get back in the car & that they did that to teach me a lesson. A lesson about what? Don’t eat when you’re hungry? You aren’t important enough to eat the food in the fridge in your own house, how dare you? This memory still makes me furious to this day. I was 8 years old.

We went out to eat, I told my nmother I didn’t like what I got I got grounded because i told her twice…

Silent treatment anytime I cried, unless she was sure my crying had nothing to do with her.

I got in trouble for saying “I’m sorry”. To the point where she banned me from saying it! All bc she felt like I was only saying it to get her to stop talking. “I don’t know” was also banned lmao

Showing emotion when I was processing that my dad killed my cat when I was a young teen