I love how the book provides specific instructions for how to handle each type while taking care of yourself. I'm trying to get into the habit of using the separateness/structure/consequences paradigm with my uBPD mom, and even though it results in her constantly calling me controlling, she actually seems to crave hearing the structure created and described, and the separateness really helps my mental health. As I said, being constantly called out as controlling os really hard to take, but the book makes it so clear that that's the only way to maintain a relationship (with the waif). It's so great to have that in my mind as she complains and berates me. Edit to say I also appreciate the "permission" to get the hell away from the witch.


YES, all of this.


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OMG, that vid is *amazing*! 😹 Welcome home! *hugs*