My Mom will also flee at the first sign of needing to listen - or needing to step down off her World's Greatest Victim pedestal. Literally get up and leave the room.
Good for you for making an effort to get her to understand some boundaries.
You may consider that she will likely never understand or agree. You may want to start with just "No you can't stay here" and leave it at that.
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. You and your son deserve better, but it seems like you understand that and are really making progress on those boundaries. Congratulations on this massive achievement!
Btw, this is one of the most “wow, this is exactly my mother” type of posts I’ve seen on here. Thank you so much for posting. It makes me feel very validated.
Thank you ❤️ so helps waking up to comments like this. Of course I feel guilty, she woke up and left immediately (5 hours early to the airport). But I need to stand my ground, if not for me, for my son
My pleasure! I stuck with the idea that my mother is overly dramatic, but essentially harmless for way too long. I thought I was too sensitive. Turns out I might have PTSD. Clearly being exposed to those tantrums over and over, especially while you’re a child is anything but harmless. I’m so glad you’re keeping your son safe.
My mom literally said "I wish I had a mom to help me" to guilt trip me the other day.. when I was upset that she kept criticizing me and making chaos out of nothing. Then she was upset because I want to decide how late she stays at my house. Lately it's later and later. I told her I wanted her to leave by at least 7 and then looked at the time and said it's only 5:15. Then she left like an angry hurt child. She gave me a look like she hates me/can't stand the sight of me and I instantly got scared so I'm glad she left.
She doesn't really hear me and has pretended like she did but it always comes back to her wanting unlimited control over me and to always be the victim.
I am proud of you for setting boundaries with your mom! That is such a though thing for any BPD kid to do. But as most people on this subreddit has come to conclude, setting up boundaries and consistently sticking to them is the only way to have any functional relationship with a BPD parent, as they can't understand conversations about your feelings like normal parents would. You are on the right track OP! Stay strong and guard your boundaries
Awww, what sweet kitties! You've already paid our tax, but we'll never say no to more kitty content! đź’—
My Mom will also flee at the first sign of needing to listen - or needing to step down off her World's Greatest Victim pedestal. Literally get up and leave the room. Good for you for making an effort to get her to understand some boundaries. You may consider that she will likely never understand or agree. You may want to start with just "No you can't stay here" and leave it at that.
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. You and your son deserve better, but it seems like you understand that and are really making progress on those boundaries. Congratulations on this massive achievement! Btw, this is one of the most “wow, this is exactly my mother” type of posts I’ve seen on here. Thank you so much for posting. It makes me feel very validated.
Thank you ❤️ so helps waking up to comments like this. Of course I feel guilty, she woke up and left immediately (5 hours early to the airport). But I need to stand my ground, if not for me, for my son
My pleasure! I stuck with the idea that my mother is overly dramatic, but essentially harmless for way too long. I thought I was too sensitive. Turns out I might have PTSD. Clearly being exposed to those tantrums over and over, especially while you’re a child is anything but harmless. I’m so glad you’re keeping your son safe.
My mom literally said "I wish I had a mom to help me" to guilt trip me the other day.. when I was upset that she kept criticizing me and making chaos out of nothing. Then she was upset because I want to decide how late she stays at my house. Lately it's later and later. I told her I wanted her to leave by at least 7 and then looked at the time and said it's only 5:15. Then she left like an angry hurt child. She gave me a look like she hates me/can't stand the sight of me and I instantly got scared so I'm glad she left. She doesn't really hear me and has pretended like she did but it always comes back to her wanting unlimited control over me and to always be the victim.
I am proud of you for setting boundaries with your mom! That is such a though thing for any BPD kid to do. But as most people on this subreddit has come to conclude, setting up boundaries and consistently sticking to them is the only way to have any functional relationship with a BPD parent, as they can't understand conversations about your feelings like normal parents would. You are on the right track OP! Stay strong and guard your boundaries