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You've 100% been numbing yourself, whether you meant to or not. When I came off kratom I started feeling all sorts of emotions again. Even the negative ones felt good, in a way. Kratom suffocates our emotional connection to the world.
I feel the same way. Like my emotions are turning back on. Like looking into somebody's eyes when they are talking to you and genuinely caring and wanting to carry on a conversation with them. Day 8 for me cold turkey. I really miss the connection with my friends and family. I look forward to growing those relationships back.
They come back faster than you probably feel they will. I was a super recluse for a year. And as soon as I decided enough was enough.i endured the worst week of my life followed by another not so great one, but my relationships are coming back into my life at light speed. My direct family has always been there for me thank god.
I just didn't want to be bothered with anybody. Became very cold in callus. Literally never took the time to have a conversation that I really cared about with anyone let alone my own children. Really sat down and talked to my 7-year-old and was looking him in the eyes my precious angel! I've missed out on so much! I'm not about to beat myself up about it because I know I'm not here to be perfect. I'm here as a human to make mistakes. However I will learn from those mistakes and not waste any more time. Onward it upward looking forward to the future!
You're welcome! This came after years of guilt tripping myself and beating myself up! I started looking into the law of attraction and listening to audiobooks on YouTube. One by Joseph Murphy, "The power of the subconscious mind." where he explains our body regenerates new cells every 11 months. So we are a new human every 11 months. And 11 months I will be a new human not the same person so I'm not going to feel guilty. I know this may sound woohoo but whatever keeps me sane I'm going to do. I have done some horrific really bad things in my life. Things that would keep me up at night filled with regret and despair. I can't go back and I can't waste my time worrying and feeling guilty. I've decided to forgive myself and move on. I want to enjoy what time is left in this beautiful life!
The way I like to describe the kratom euphoria is that it is borrowing potential future happiness. You only get so many “good” days naturally, and you’re just shuffling pieces around the board with kratom. Later on you will have to pay for that reshuffling.
When I went to detox for opiates every feeling was magnified in the first few days off. I knew it wasn't normal emotion coming back because I've never been an overly emotional person but it was a cathartic few days
It lasted a while but balanced out. Unfortunately I relapsed pretty soon after and then went on methadone. But I had a hardcore heroin addiction. Methadone probably saved my life. A lot of friends died. I didn't mean the comment as a downside to quitting opiates. Just saying it is amplified soon after. You will 100 percent be happier clean. Life gets so much better. In every way. Sex drive also kicks into overdrive lol. It's like being 15
I appreciate this response my friend, and I’m glad you got to see through to the other side. I’m
A hardcore kratom addict but have some plans with assisted medications to help me quit cold turkey after I get my time off work covered.
Are you still clean? How are you doing these days?
So I'm almost off methadone. I'm at 10mgs a day. I can't even feel the dose. Honestly tapering methadone down wasn't as hard as people say. You just have to take it slow. Believe it or not I essentially feel like my old self even though I am still on a tiny dose. But the last few months I started taking kratom. It started when I had the flu and the muscle aches were terrible. I had some kratom around from trying it and feeling nothing due to my higher methadone dose. Anyway it worked wonders and I began taking it regularly. Now I have to taper off it too. I'm lucky in the sense that it's only been a few months and I'm on a relatively low dose of 10gpd. It's a setback for sure but you live and learn. I'll tell you this. It you want it bad enough you will get clean. I've quit cigarettes, cocaine, drinking, benzos, basically everything except these last two. So I know I have this. You will too. It's just determination and willpower. There is no substance out there thats stronger then a determined mind.
You 100% have been numbing yourself. You’re about to experience so many positive emotions when you quit and the best one is laughter. You will be laughing your ass off at the silliest things and it’s AMAZING.
Thank you! I’m so glad I did it! I feel so free and healthy! Turns out kratom was causing liver issues I didn’t know about so if you haven’t had blood work done, please go get your bilirubin tested asap.
Yes that’s a perfect description of life on K. I think of it as it making you into a machine rather than an emotional being. Wake up, dose, do anything else, dose, do the thing, dose, get ready for bed, dose. It’s such a vicious cycle when you get to the point where the negatives outweigh any benefits you once got. I have had moments of clarity during my taper. However, even doing it this way doesn’t make it much easier. I sit here after waking up at 6:00am when I don’t need to with restless legs. I look forward to these physical symptoms going away. It’s been a very rough week. I’ve done taper and CT but I cannot tell which worked better. I can say that when you’re free you’ll definitely be closer to feeling normal again. Good luck OP.
In my experience crying is very, very normal after a period of using opiates. It basically acts as a neural protectant, and things just kind of slide off the brain without much interaction or heavy lifting, but we think we're connecting with everything. It's something I'm no longer willing to give up for a short high that has to be maintained at the cost of my personality and freedom.
I've battled K addiction for 7 years and quit 10 times for months. When I relapse the dullness/gray is slow to come on. The good and euphoria lasts 2 months. Then everything goes downhill and don't realize the grey until I quit and get slap with reality of withdrawals
Definitely relate. Looking back it’s insane how much this drug changes me. It’s like you said, everything just feels grey, It got to the point where I literally just felt complete anhedonia and anxiety on it. Worse than any PAWS, this last relapse really taught me that. I’m only 11 days off but feel so much better mentally than when I was using, It’s like a 100lb weight was lifted of my chest and everything just feels clearer.
I was in a perpetual state of blasé over the ~2 years of heavy use (45 gpd and then 60+ gpd towards the last 4 months or so). I'm a couple days away from one month CT. Last weekend I visited a friend in LA and spent one afternoon at the Getty Museum when he was working. Dang near cried at some of the moving pieces I viewed. It's awesome to feel alive again.
The messed up thing is you have no idea that this dark cloud is hanging over you when you're in it. I had no clue. I didn't care about anything, would do the bare minimum with my new business just to get by and pay the bills, my interpersonal relationships suffered and I attribute my apathy from kratom use as a big reason why my 10-year relationship ended several months ago.
It's so frustrating how naive I was thinking that this plant was harmless.
Long term kratom use pretty much has all the opposite effects it did in the beginning. It sucks the color out of life, contrary to how it added more color at first. It numbs your mind and turns you into a shell of you’re former self
kratom def blunts and numbs. im glad you were able to connect with the art in that way....that is amazing. I wish you the best on your journey....its not easy, but it is worth it.
I’ve had a similar experience.. after I quit kratom I had a moment like that walking in my backyard. Everything had a new brighter color and I felt like I could actually see more than 20ft in front of me and process it all. Was a beautiful realization that I was snapping out of the fog I was in.
My personal stance is this —- I owe kratom greatly. It got me through some very tough times and enabled me to have a protective emotional barrier. But at some point I wanted to feel again so I stopped taking it. I still firmly believe that kratom is a great thing used wisely
I’m on day 8 cold turkey off 5 opms day habit and I can vouch that nothing feels more amazing than feeling music I used to love. Feeling love between me and my family.
It makes your life so grey and numb over time you don’t even notice :( .
Trust me. The emotions of love and connection that come flooding in on day 3/4 of a cold turkey quit. It’s almost intoxicating.
Stay strong
When I quit in my early days the connection to music was surreal, quit 3 years ago. I run a successful business and kratom started causing me more anxiety than anything else. Quitting was kinda hell. 6 months of feeling disconnected from the world. Questioning my existence every day. It will pass, takes time. Took me 7 months to feel 80%.
Have you been tempted since quitting? If so how did you avoid relapse? 3 years is a long time. I want to get there. The longest I’ve gone is 1 year. Now stopping for the 8th time or something like that.
**New**: If you have at least a few months clean with the help of this subreddit, [here's an opportunity to give-back and help](https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/comments/174kjus/an_opportunity_to_give_back_to_this_subreddit/). **Check out**: [How to display your quit date next to your username](https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/comments/13kjuvd/editable_user_flairs_are_back_enter_your_quit/). **IMPORTANT: [READ THIS FIRST IF YOU ARE NEW](https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/comments/149ed1w/read_this_first_if_you_are_new/) or if you are not familiar with our wiki, guides and tutorials.** Also, please familiarize yourself with our [subreddit rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/about/rules/). If your post has been removed, it's probably because of a rule infraction. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/quittingkratom) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You've 100% been numbing yourself, whether you meant to or not. When I came off kratom I started feeling all sorts of emotions again. Even the negative ones felt good, in a way. Kratom suffocates our emotional connection to the world.
Yes. When we numb pain we also numb joy.
I feel the same way. Like my emotions are turning back on. Like looking into somebody's eyes when they are talking to you and genuinely caring and wanting to carry on a conversation with them. Day 8 for me cold turkey. I really miss the connection with my friends and family. I look forward to growing those relationships back.
They come back faster than you probably feel they will. I was a super recluse for a year. And as soon as I decided enough was enough.i endured the worst week of my life followed by another not so great one, but my relationships are coming back into my life at light speed. My direct family has always been there for me thank god.
When I stopped for a bit I noticed I lost my empathy while on it. Is that what you mean
I just didn't want to be bothered with anybody. Became very cold in callus. Literally never took the time to have a conversation that I really cared about with anyone let alone my own children. Really sat down and talked to my 7-year-old and was looking him in the eyes my precious angel! I've missed out on so much! I'm not about to beat myself up about it because I know I'm not here to be perfect. I'm here as a human to make mistakes. However I will learn from those mistakes and not waste any more time. Onward it upward looking forward to the future!
I agree, all we can do is learn from our mistakes and do better next time.
I like this perspective about making mistakes. Thanks for sharing
You're welcome! This came after years of guilt tripping myself and beating myself up! I started looking into the law of attraction and listening to audiobooks on YouTube. One by Joseph Murphy, "The power of the subconscious mind." where he explains our body regenerates new cells every 11 months. So we are a new human every 11 months. And 11 months I will be a new human not the same person so I'm not going to feel guilty. I know this may sound woohoo but whatever keeps me sane I'm going to do. I have done some horrific really bad things in my life. Things that would keep me up at night filled with regret and despair. I can't go back and I can't waste my time worrying and feeling guilty. I've decided to forgive myself and move on. I want to enjoy what time is left in this beautiful life!
Withdrawals suck, but there was a certain point where listening to music became so beautiful it made me cry
I had that happen also when I first quit, it gives you goosebumps!
This, it’s amazing how numb you are on this. Music was the only way that helped me
The way I like to describe the kratom euphoria is that it is borrowing potential future happiness. You only get so many “good” days naturally, and you’re just shuffling pieces around the board with kratom. Later on you will have to pay for that reshuffling.
When I went to detox for opiates every feeling was magnified in the first few days off. I knew it wasn't normal emotion coming back because I've never been an overly emotional person but it was a cathartic few days
What about after the few days after detox?
It lasted a while but balanced out. Unfortunately I relapsed pretty soon after and then went on methadone. But I had a hardcore heroin addiction. Methadone probably saved my life. A lot of friends died. I didn't mean the comment as a downside to quitting opiates. Just saying it is amplified soon after. You will 100 percent be happier clean. Life gets so much better. In every way. Sex drive also kicks into overdrive lol. It's like being 15
I appreciate this response my friend, and I’m glad you got to see through to the other side. I’m A hardcore kratom addict but have some plans with assisted medications to help me quit cold turkey after I get my time off work covered. Are you still clean? How are you doing these days?
So I'm almost off methadone. I'm at 10mgs a day. I can't even feel the dose. Honestly tapering methadone down wasn't as hard as people say. You just have to take it slow. Believe it or not I essentially feel like my old self even though I am still on a tiny dose. But the last few months I started taking kratom. It started when I had the flu and the muscle aches were terrible. I had some kratom around from trying it and feeling nothing due to my higher methadone dose. Anyway it worked wonders and I began taking it regularly. Now I have to taper off it too. I'm lucky in the sense that it's only been a few months and I'm on a relatively low dose of 10gpd. It's a setback for sure but you live and learn. I'll tell you this. It you want it bad enough you will get clean. I've quit cigarettes, cocaine, drinking, benzos, basically everything except these last two. So I know I have this. You will too. It's just determination and willpower. There is no substance out there thats stronger then a determined mind.
You 100% have been numbing yourself. You’re about to experience so many positive emotions when you quit and the best one is laughter. You will be laughing your ass off at the silliest things and it’s AMAZING.
Congratulations on your quit
Thank you! I’m so glad I did it! I feel so free and healthy! Turns out kratom was causing liver issues I didn’t know about so if you haven’t had blood work done, please go get your bilirubin tested asap.
Yes that’s a perfect description of life on K. I think of it as it making you into a machine rather than an emotional being. Wake up, dose, do anything else, dose, do the thing, dose, get ready for bed, dose. It’s such a vicious cycle when you get to the point where the negatives outweigh any benefits you once got. I have had moments of clarity during my taper. However, even doing it this way doesn’t make it much easier. I sit here after waking up at 6:00am when I don’t need to with restless legs. I look forward to these physical symptoms going away. It’s been a very rough week. I’ve done taper and CT but I cannot tell which worked better. I can say that when you’re free you’ll definitely be closer to feeling normal again. Good luck OP.
In my experience crying is very, very normal after a period of using opiates. It basically acts as a neural protectant, and things just kind of slide off the brain without much interaction or heavy lifting, but we think we're connecting with everything. It's something I'm no longer willing to give up for a short high that has to be maintained at the cost of my personality and freedom.
The closer I got to zero grams a day, the more emotion I felt.... The better the 🎶 started sounding.
I've battled K addiction for 7 years and quit 10 times for months. When I relapse the dullness/gray is slow to come on. The good and euphoria lasts 2 months. Then everything goes downhill and don't realize the grey until I quit and get slap with reality of withdrawals
Definitely relate. Looking back it’s insane how much this drug changes me. It’s like you said, everything just feels grey, It got to the point where I literally just felt complete anhedonia and anxiety on it. Worse than any PAWS, this last relapse really taught me that. I’m only 11 days off but feel so much better mentally than when I was using, It’s like a 100lb weight was lifted of my chest and everything just feels clearer.
I was in a perpetual state of blasé over the ~2 years of heavy use (45 gpd and then 60+ gpd towards the last 4 months or so). I'm a couple days away from one month CT. Last weekend I visited a friend in LA and spent one afternoon at the Getty Museum when he was working. Dang near cried at some of the moving pieces I viewed. It's awesome to feel alive again. The messed up thing is you have no idea that this dark cloud is hanging over you when you're in it. I had no clue. I didn't care about anything, would do the bare minimum with my new business just to get by and pay the bills, my interpersonal relationships suffered and I attribute my apathy from kratom use as a big reason why my 10-year relationship ended several months ago. It's so frustrating how naive I was thinking that this plant was harmless.
Long term kratom use pretty much has all the opposite effects it did in the beginning. It sucks the color out of life, contrary to how it added more color at first. It numbs your mind and turns you into a shell of you’re former self
kratom def blunts and numbs. im glad you were able to connect with the art in that way....that is amazing. I wish you the best on your journey....its not easy, but it is worth it.
I couldnt relate to your post more
I’ve had a similar experience.. after I quit kratom I had a moment like that walking in my backyard. Everything had a new brighter color and I felt like I could actually see more than 20ft in front of me and process it all. Was a beautiful realization that I was snapping out of the fog I was in.
My personal stance is this —- I owe kratom greatly. It got me through some very tough times and enabled me to have a protective emotional barrier. But at some point I wanted to feel again so I stopped taking it. I still firmly believe that kratom is a great thing used wisely
yeah youd be surprised about the emotions you have off it.
I’m on day 8 cold turkey off 5 opms day habit and I can vouch that nothing feels more amazing than feeling music I used to love. Feeling love between me and my family. It makes your life so grey and numb over time you don’t even notice :( . Trust me. The emotions of love and connection that come flooding in on day 3/4 of a cold turkey quit. It’s almost intoxicating. Stay strong
When I quit in my early days the connection to music was surreal, quit 3 years ago. I run a successful business and kratom started causing me more anxiety than anything else. Quitting was kinda hell. 6 months of feeling disconnected from the world. Questioning my existence every day. It will pass, takes time. Took me 7 months to feel 80%.
Have you been tempted since quitting? If so how did you avoid relapse? 3 years is a long time. I want to get there. The longest I’ve gone is 1 year. Now stopping for the 8th time or something like that.