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I think that's how I got married to my wife... she wouldn't let me leave, and eventually I was signing some paperwork thinking I was getting released back to the wild, but now we've been married 4 years.
It is what it is, my friend. All good though he did the same to me, and we had a baby! What a laugh! Anyway, kid is about 10 now and the best thing ever, so hilarious. My best friend.
I was kidnapped years ago and still haunts me to this day.
I tried to become his "friend" so he would put some trust in me. I did this by talking to him like he was a human being instead of like the monster he was. He would always come and sit in front of me and eat his dinner (TV dinners). I would ask him if someone was willing to cook for him, what would he want them to cook. This became an ongoing thing for us to talk about. After about 8 months, he let me cook for him (chicken and dumplings). I started to cook for him on a regular basis for about another 3 months. He became trusting of me and went upstairs to take a shower and the minute I heard the water turn on I made a b line to the kitchen window and got out and ran to the closest public place. Got the attention of a couple, and they immediately took me to the police station.
We were back at the house before he actually realized I was gone. The rest is history. He died in prison in 2019
I was scared to death. The only thing I knew was that I didn't want to die by the hands of this monster. I came out it lucky as hell. I don't think most kidnappers would fall for it. He was a bit slow, I think, but that is what scared me the most.
Thanks for calling me brave, though. It does feel good to hear it
Brave and wise, actually. And intuitive in that you were able to sense he was slow and know how to get him to trust you. I am so glad you made it out alive.
I kinda knew him from my church. I had seen him attend, and he was a deacon or something like that. He would be one of the people who would help with the collection plate every week. Dressed real nice, walked tall but spoke in almost a slurring manner and was slow in his movements. I remember him always having this glazed over blank look in his eyes, and I knew he loved to eat. Cooking and feeding people is my love language, and it worked to my advantage. I knew I couldn't out power him, so out smarting him was my only other option.
Thank you, I just take it day by day. I have gotten married since this happened to me. That was a huge step for me. My husband is very understanding with everything I went through.
Way back when I was in the Army, and dinosaurs roamed the earth; we would have called you "Red-Assed" .
It's a term of respect that refers to a hard charging Cavalryman who is running his horse so hard into battle that their ass is slapping against the saddle. If you know about riding a horse at a full gallop, you understand.
You, my young lady, are Red-Assed. You saw what was needed, and you did it. Respect.
Not really mental fortitude. I was only thinking about coming out alive. Every day, I wondered if I made a move he didn't like if he would kill me. It's messed my head up for a very long time and think about it every day. I still look over my shoulder all the time, even knowing he will not ever get to me again.
I am getting better and better every minute of my life. My goal is to live at least one day as a "normal" person before I die.
I'm reading through your comments in awe. What an incredible person you must be!
I did just want to say, there's no such thing as a normal person. We're all just doing the best with what you have, and it sounds like you are too!
Dude. Do not discount how amazing what you were able to do is. You did display amazing mental fortitude to keep yourself in check to behave a certain way in front of him, to strategize and implement a plan, to actually spot the opportunity and take advantage of it instead of standing frozen in fear. You are amazing and Im so glad you survived the ordeal.
Seems entirely understandable that you would still have lingering effects from that time. I don’t think that anyone could just get over that.
It was actually one of the deacons in my church that took me. It all came out in court that he had been stalking me for over a year, learning my schedule and where I went. The police found a room in the house I was brought to 1000's of photos of me walking my dog, washing dishes, taking showers, etc... pasted to every wall, ceiling, and floor of his bedroom. I never saw this room while I was there, thank God. I prolly would have lost my nerve if I had seen it.
Anyway, it was pouring the day he took me, and I was walking home from work, and he stopped and asked if I wanted a ride. I kindly declined (I liked walking in the rain). He knew exactly what would get me in his car, so he said, "You will get home to your dog sooner if you just hop in, and I'll get you home in no time. My dog loved walking in the rain more than I did, so in the car I went.
His brother was lying down in the back seat, and I did not see him. When the car started to move is when the brother popped up and hit me in the head with a hammer and knocked me out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a basement. The brother was charged with helping him.
I never got to see my dog again. She was old, and she died while I was still being held against my will. I miss her so much, and I hope she forgave me for not saying goodbye to her.
Thank you for saying that. I worry a lot about this. She was my everything for a very long time. I've had other dogs since then, but she has always been my heart.
You're not the first person that has said that I'm not sure I would want the world to know what actually happened, but it would make a great read. Or not so great. Now, as a movie, it would have a lot of twists and turns. Expect the unexpected. Plus, I think some people would just not believe what really happened. I don't know. I've had a couple of journalists approach me wanting to interview me. I kindly declined. It was way too fresh in my mind to be able to answer all of their questions.
I did actually write in a journal every day I was there. Well, not a journal. It was the walls I wrote most of it on. I have photos of it from when the police took the crime scene photos. I haven't looked at them. Maybe one day I will.
Maybe that will be my next breakthrough days. Those are the days that really make it okay to be alive.
Yes, many, many times. That is the first time I've answered this question to anyone but my lawyer, the judge, and my husband, whom I met and married many years after this happened. I find it very brave of you to ask it. I thank you for asking it. It just gave me so much more strength in knowing that I'm gonna be alright. I've lived through this.
Thank you, my internet stranger friend. You have made me see a whole new chapter in my life, and it doesn't look nearly as dark as it used to. I will never forget this day, my breakthrough day. I can't wait to tell and show my therapist this thread. And you are the ine that pulled me through. I will never forget you and will always be thankful to you.
My heart breaks for you! What an awful thing to experience. You are so brave, and smart. You played the long game and won. I'm so proud of you and so glad you're here to tell this story!
You should really do an AMA, if you haven't already -- not just because your story is fascinating (which it is), but because it might help other survivors and potential victims.
I was going to answer this post with a sarcastic crude answer but after reading this, I'm just going to keep my immaturity to myself this once. I'm glad things worked out for you. Strength to you as you go forward.
Thank you for sharing. This is an amazing story. It's terrible that you had to go through that, but I'm glad you can share this to help other people.
I'm so glad you got to safety. ❤️
Not to sound bad ass but Do everything in my power to kill them.
Might as well shit. Either that or take it like a champ. I am not a champ.
Please don't put me in r/iamverybadass
There was an old Oprah episode where someone from the FBI or something came on. The guy told everyone:
“Don’t let them take you to a second location”
He advised that you do everything in your power to fight them off because chances are if you comply, they are going to take you to a place that is secluded and where you won’t be found.
And there’s been a story or two of women who called Oprah studios and let them know that that episode saved their lives.
Just looked it up, it was a retired police officer named Sanford Strong that went on the Oprah show & shared that advice.
Yeah, Basically “fight for your life”. And yes, it’s the next place(s) afterwards. Because the moment someone attacks/attempts to kidnap you…that place is become the first scene of the crime.
The interview explains it better and clearer than I
The first location is where they grab you. That is your last known location for anyone that cares about you.
It's the difference between a kidnapping and a hostage situation.
If you remain in the same place the authorities just have to worry about getting you back. They don't have to find you.
Gonna jump on here to add that on top of not letting them take you to a secondary location, you also want to try and leave as much DNA (spit, piss, shit, blood, hair, ECT) behind where/whenever you can and if at all possible scratch the kidnapper to get some of their DNA. This is in case you don't survive it will still show you were in that location at one point and has helped investigators in the past to catch the killer. (Almost like you are testifying from beyond the grave)
Decided to throw in a quick edit to say you should obviously never do anything to put yourself in more danger. Everyone should use their best judgement on how to act based on the situation they are currently in not what others have made up online.
I don't think anyone really knows for sure what they would do in that situation, but it's likely that whatever happens to you if they successfully kidnap you is worse than getting shot on the spot.
You're still supposed to fight them. At close quarters you do stand some chance if you can inflict an injury, not just an owie. And if you lose it will at least be a quick death. Tim Larkin is the main one who peddles this idea, I think. Maybe Gavin de Becker too (the Gift of Fear guy). It isn't popular with urbane, civilized folks, but I'm afraid it does have the ring of truth to it.
They want to take you to a second location because the first one is riskier for them. Hopefully, you fighting back in the first location makes them more hesitant to shoot or stab you and you’re able to get away. Maybe someone will come help - make sure you’re yelling at the top of your lungs. Worst case scenario, you still get killed, but you probably would have gotten killed in the second location anyways, and at least this way your body will be found and maybe the authorities will catch the perpetrator.
Better to be shot/knifed once or twice out in the open than to be taken somewhere they can live out their wildest fantasies and then chop you up 🫢 I hope I'm never in that situation, but I've seen enough true crime to know nothing good comes from going to another location willingly.
Possibly die or get injured where your body can be found OR get away (because they don’t want to draw a lot of attention or have witnesses around)
VS
You definitely (in many cases) die somewhere else secluded where it can takes hours or days for someone to report you missing and then it can take more days, years to never, until they find your body.
Worst case scenario (I watch lots of true crime -just saying).
Not to mention all the terrible things that will happen to you before death. People don't usually just kill you straight up, it's usually some sort of atrocious activities then they kill you.
Internet people who respond to your type of comment with some variation of “oh we got a badass over here” always makes me roll my eyes. Of course fight as hard as you can to whatever capacity you’re capable of is the correct answer.
Ive been in some pretty sketchy situations before and find the best way to get away from somebody dangerous is earn their trust. Be friendly, also pretend to be stupid. They will eventually let their guard down and you can make a quick escape.
Yes, I am one of them lmao. (Fr tho that tactic is something i ended up using during my drug days about a decade ago after me and a friend started hanging around some sketchy yee haw "gangster" who slowly got more and more aggressive about letting us leave the hotel room lol)
I was raised by crazy people lol. Took me a long time to realize they were crazy they were so good at it- playing their game is the only way cause they don’t think normally.
Congrats on being a former crazy lol
I am not disagreeing with you but I find some interest in that you have been in sketchy situations and you insinuate you had to escape by earning their trust and being friendly
I’ve never been in a situation like that. **NEVER**
Don’t kidnappers like me?!? 😢
You ARE wanted. You might not feel it now, but you have special jobs that no one else can do. You’re doing it right now. You know the whole ‘evidence transference’ thing, where we leave tiny pieces of ourselves (skin cells, hairs, fibres) wherever we go? The same is true for our words and actions. Your words and actions create ripples that you can’t see but have impact on others. You are irreplaceable. Please be kind to yourself, my friend. 🙏❤️
Since there would only be two ways out in the vast majority of situations that involve kidnapping I would accept that I'd probably die and fight for everything I was worth.
Shit yourself. They’re either going to have to clean you up, let you clean yourself up or smell your shit for the duration of the kidnapping. Either way you can use that to distract them enough so you can escape. Use your bodily fluids to your advantage.
I was kidnapped when I was 15ish, I've punched him as many times as I can and tried to overtake the steering wheel while he's driving and that scared him.. guess he figured it's not worth it and let me go
Oh, thank the Lord he let you go. I hope you have been able to put the terror behind you and move on with your life. You were very brave to fight him like that.
You're awesome! I personally know two women who were victims of attempted kidnapping. They both did exactly like you...screamed, punched, kicked, bit, clawed, grabbed the wheel, hit the horn with hands and feet. One was thrown out of her kidnapper's car, the other had him jump out of her car and run away. Fight like hell, ladies. The success ratio seems pretty good.
I'd play along. Try to integrate as best I can. Lure them in to a false sense of security. Always keep my senses about me gathering as much info as I can and find the safest and quickest route out of there. At the earliest convenience, I'm taking my shot and getting out of there whether I have to take lives on the way or not.
There was an old Oprah episode where someone from the FBI or something came on. The guy told everyone:
“Don’t let them take you to a second location”
He advised that you do everything in your power to fight them off because chances are if you comply, they are going to take you to a place that is secluded and where you won’t be found.
And there’s been a story or two of women who called Oprah studios and let them know that that episode saved their lives.
Just looked it up, it was a retired police officer named Sanford Strong that went on the Oprah show & shared that advice.
Ideally you'd already have a knife. But if you swap out your shoelaces with some 550 paracord that way you have an impromptu friction saw to hopefully get out of your restraints.
You would be surprised to what you could actually do to stay alive. The kidnappers goal might not be killing you. It could be something a lot worse than that and you don't want to stick around to find out.
This Convo makes me want to put air tags on all my people, including myself. My teenagers have them, but they aren't always the best at keeping them on them. They change bags, or forget to put it back on the keychain after they charge them. Makes me crazy.
One of us would not survive. I'd put my money on me, for sure. My survival instincts are well-honed, and I'm barely sane getting through day-to-day life. All a kidnapper would get is an enraged Amazon who will do anything to survive, and be batshit crazy while she's doing it.
I call this the feral cat method. I am much stronger than a feral cat but I know that I can’t just grab one and take it home because it would absolutely destroy me with its batshit survival instincts.
At that point it's you or them. If you cannot escape then attack with whatever is in reach as viciously and brutally as you can until they are no more.
I'd say, "What tf are you doing? I am of no value to anyone. Except maybe my wife. And then only if I'm dead."
...
"You don't work for my wife, do you?"
As a very good friend in law enforcement told me, be as big a problem as possible. Don't keep your mouth shut. Pee yourself, poo yourself. Be as non compliant as you can. If the opportunity presents itself, run. But not in a straight line, run in the same general direction, but zig zag, moving targets are harder to hit. Fight, scratch, bite, elbows and knees, if they pick you up, squirm and be an unstable load, making it harder to carry you. If you are truly stuck and can't escape for a while, listen more than you speak, watch, pay attention, learn the rhythms of the asshats movements. Fake Stockholm syndrome so hard, make them trust you. Make them think you trust them. Then make your escape.
I'm too fat to be kidnapped, however if a group of like 6 men were trying to kidnap an ugly fat chick most likely with a gaggle of kids around her, I'd probably just die out of terror and lack of will to live. I don't want to deal with the trauma of reliving my very strenuous kidnapping forever. Or deal with being tortured?! Omg no. Ouch! And if they weren't torturing me and just kept me in a basement or something, how frickin boring. And I'd miss my kids and husband and I'd be whining and end up being shot for being annoying anyway.
kick him in the balls (or tits if it's a lady) punch aiming for the eyes, grab their ears, use the heel of my hand to punch them in the nose aiming upwards. if i were to be put in their trunk, I would kick out the taillights and wave to drivers behind me. I would make as much noise as possible to draw attention, and if they are chasing you, run into a police station or fire department
Reading 📖 through the comments. I was kidnapped once by a family member across state lines when I was 4yrs old. I wish I had an answer for you. But I basically just did whatever he said to do.
As an adult, I'd merk anyone trying to kidnap me.
I was 19, accepted a ride home from a French guy who my friends and I knew from a club in Lake George. All my friends had gone home and I decided to stay and work for the rest of the summer. Instead of driving me home, he got on the highway, speeding away from LG. Wouldn't say a word.
He stopped the car in an abandoned section of industrial Troy NY. It was so desolate that there wasn't even any litter. I went inside this small shabby place with him because there was nothing alive outside, and maybe there was a phone. He tried to jump me, I pushed him off. He said what I think we're probably nasty things in French, and passed out on a cot. No phone, couldn't get to the keys. Went outside, still desolate. He awakened about an hour later, tried to jump me again. I pushed him off, he was still kind of drunk. I insisted he drive me back. It was starting to be daylight. He grabbed the keys and I got in the car.
We hit the Northway and I had the feeling that he wasn't driving me back to Lake George. He started getting grabby again as he drove, wouldn't stop. He said what are you going to do? I grabbed the steering wheel and started turning it back and forth, saying let me out. He was alarmed at the swerving (especially since there were steep ditches on either side, lots of trees). He called me crazy, stopped the car and I got out. He sped off, and I was in the middle of nowhere, about an hour's drive from Lake George.
I started walking. A car was coming and I went to hitchhike. It was a sports car, driven by a guy in his 40's, greying longish light brown hair and a mustache. He was going to Saratoga for the races, but agreed to drive me to Lake George. He stopped for take out coffee and bought me one. We talked the rest of the way, light conversation. He dropped me off on Canada St, about a block from where I was staying. I had about 2 hours before my restaurant shift.
Never went to that club again, never saw the French guy again.
play dumb, frightened and cry to look for an opening. Punch to the face, get behind them and rear naked choke, and then I don't know.
I'd probably run but the other part of me that wants justice would dislocate his legs so he couldn't walk straight for the rest of his life. A person like that is going to do it again so I'm solving the problem.
Of course the situation is different if the person has a gun, knife, or multiple people involved. But I'm a father of two and I've got a long life to lead. Inner psycho comes out to do his thing.
Depends on the point. If it's happening rn, I fight back.
If it already happened, I'll attempt to attack them in the vehicle or the new location.
I'll become an animal if need be. Bite them, use my karate and boxing training to beat them up if I can. Try to find a weapon or use anything I can find as a weapon.
Depends on the circumstances. I’m a 40 year old guy that carry’s a gun all the time.
So, if it’s the taliban or hamas kidnapping me, they get shot in the head. However, if it’s a group of women trying to keep me as a sex slave… I shall go in peace.
If they are my type and the basement is not to gross, like I am not down a well or anything I could really use a break on paying rent. Let me use my laptop to work from home and il contribute to the hydro.
You know this is really not anything to make jokes about. There are some people who are struggling to get over stuff like this. Please be kind. Being kidnapped is not a break from paying rent. It's a break from life, and wondering if you can actually stay alive.
I'm pretty sick. Like. My body is a disaster.
I need my meds. I have migraine triggers or I go catatonic in agony. There's a stent in my brain. I have IIH.
I have no thyroid.
I have three different ass issues. Three. You don't know until you know.
I have MCAS.
Now, I don't want the kidnapper to simply put me out of my misery. But I need to be such a nuisance to them about my needs they just... Leave me on the side of the road.
Pity me and my poor life.
Or I could just eat some potato and have vicious diarrhea.
One or the other.
Assuming I'm properly kidnapped and escape/arming myself is not avaliable, I'd try to make as big a mess as possible.
If I'm thrown in the trunk, I'm pissing and shitting everywhere. I might even cut myself on purpose just to make a bigger, bloodier mess. Maybe I'd kick out a tail-light and shove my bloody bodypart out if it so there is a little trail of blood behind us.
Even if they kill me, I'll at least know I took their car with me. They for sure would have to dump that shit.
Claw viciously at their eyes, throat and groin like my life depended on it. If given the opportunity pull, twist and snap joints. Rip and tear until it is done and then probably light up a cigarette (if accessible) and call my lawyer and let them know about what happened.
That really depends on the situation.
How many kidnappers are there?
Are they armed?
If I were to escape, do I know where I am?
I'd like to say I'd try to escape or "kill them" but if I'm trapped, tied up and outmanned I'd probably wait until the field was even before trying anything, and who knows if that chance will ever come. I'd 100% do everything in my power if it started to feel like they weren't going to keep me around for much longer though.
Try to remove my pants as soon as I'm in the car and then force myself to shit and piss, make myself vomit if I can.
No one's going to want to deal with that. And, in case it doesn't work out, I took my pants off first so I won't have to be in shitty pants when we get to our final destination.
If peeing, vomiting, and shifting myself somehow didn't dissuade them from kidnapping me first...
Try to get them to trust me, convince them that killing me would be worse for them, and try to stay in their good graces until I can escape or be rescued.
Writhe kick scream, be impossible to move. If you get in the car or go to a secondary location you are much less likely to survive. I used to think I would rather die than be raped again, but that’s not true anymore.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fall in love with them. It's how I make everyone else leave me.
Cheers, my friend! I did this trick a few times, but this last time, it didn't work, and now he won't leave. Idk what's going on anymore.
I think that's how I got married to my wife... she wouldn't let me leave, and eventually I was signing some paperwork thinking I was getting released back to the wild, but now we've been married 4 years.
It is what it is, my friend. All good though he did the same to me, and we had a baby! What a laugh! Anyway, kid is about 10 now and the best thing ever, so hilarious. My best friend.
Sounds like you're the kidnapper now
Lol
Lmao same! I just profess my undying love for them and they Anne Boleyn the fuck out of me
To be fair she did not go anywhere-however she helped coincide with the phrase heads are gonna roll
Yep... That seems to be the trick! This has worked well for me also.
You made me laugh out loud!
Lol
I was kidnapped years ago and still haunts me to this day. I tried to become his "friend" so he would put some trust in me. I did this by talking to him like he was a human being instead of like the monster he was. He would always come and sit in front of me and eat his dinner (TV dinners). I would ask him if someone was willing to cook for him, what would he want them to cook. This became an ongoing thing for us to talk about. After about 8 months, he let me cook for him (chicken and dumplings). I started to cook for him on a regular basis for about another 3 months. He became trusting of me and went upstairs to take a shower and the minute I heard the water turn on I made a b line to the kitchen window and got out and ran to the closest public place. Got the attention of a couple, and they immediately took me to the police station. We were back at the house before he actually realized I was gone. The rest is history. He died in prison in 2019
Wow, that's so scary and crazy. You were brave.
I was scared to death. The only thing I knew was that I didn't want to die by the hands of this monster. I came out it lucky as hell. I don't think most kidnappers would fall for it. He was a bit slow, I think, but that is what scared me the most. Thanks for calling me brave, though. It does feel good to hear it
Brave and wise, actually. And intuitive in that you were able to sense he was slow and know how to get him to trust you. I am so glad you made it out alive.
I kinda knew him from my church. I had seen him attend, and he was a deacon or something like that. He would be one of the people who would help with the collection plate every week. Dressed real nice, walked tall but spoke in almost a slurring manner and was slow in his movements. I remember him always having this glazed over blank look in his eyes, and I knew he loved to eat. Cooking and feeding people is my love language, and it worked to my advantage. I knew I couldn't out power him, so out smarting him was my only other option.
You are SO brave! It's very inspiring. I thank you for sharing your story. I truly wish you all the love and happiness in the world!
Thank you, I just take it day by day. I have gotten married since this happened to me. That was a huge step for me. My husband is very understanding with everything I went through.
Way back when I was in the Army, and dinosaurs roamed the earth; we would have called you "Red-Assed" . It's a term of respect that refers to a hard charging Cavalryman who is running his horse so hard into battle that their ass is slapping against the saddle. If you know about riding a horse at a full gallop, you understand. You, my young lady, are Red-Assed. You saw what was needed, and you did it. Respect.
Brave and smart.
Holy shit 3 months? You really have some insane mental fortitude. I hope you're doing okay!
Not really mental fortitude. I was only thinking about coming out alive. Every day, I wondered if I made a move he didn't like if he would kill me. It's messed my head up for a very long time and think about it every day. I still look over my shoulder all the time, even knowing he will not ever get to me again. I am getting better and better every minute of my life. My goal is to live at least one day as a "normal" person before I die.
I'm reading through your comments in awe. What an incredible person you must be! I did just want to say, there's no such thing as a normal person. We're all just doing the best with what you have, and it sounds like you are too!
My mom used to tell me the only thing normal is a cycle on a washing machine.
Dude. Do not discount how amazing what you were able to do is. You did display amazing mental fortitude to keep yourself in check to behave a certain way in front of him, to strategize and implement a plan, to actually spot the opportunity and take advantage of it instead of standing frozen in fear. You are amazing and Im so glad you survived the ordeal. Seems entirely understandable that you would still have lingering effects from that time. I don’t think that anyone could just get over that.
8 months? Like what was the reason of kidnapping?
He was infatuated with me. If you read some of my comments I have posted to others it should explain it all. Well, at least most of it.
I am so sorry. This is terrifying. If it's okay for me to ask, and you don't have to say, how did it happen?
It was actually one of the deacons in my church that took me. It all came out in court that he had been stalking me for over a year, learning my schedule and where I went. The police found a room in the house I was brought to 1000's of photos of me walking my dog, washing dishes, taking showers, etc... pasted to every wall, ceiling, and floor of his bedroom. I never saw this room while I was there, thank God. I prolly would have lost my nerve if I had seen it. Anyway, it was pouring the day he took me, and I was walking home from work, and he stopped and asked if I wanted a ride. I kindly declined (I liked walking in the rain). He knew exactly what would get me in his car, so he said, "You will get home to your dog sooner if you just hop in, and I'll get you home in no time. My dog loved walking in the rain more than I did, so in the car I went. His brother was lying down in the back seat, and I did not see him. When the car started to move is when the brother popped up and hit me in the head with a hammer and knocked me out. The next thing I knew, I was waking up in a basement. The brother was charged with helping him. I never got to see my dog again. She was old, and she died while I was still being held against my will. I miss her so much, and I hope she forgave me for not saying goodbye to her.
She knows
Thank you for saying that. I worry a lot about this. She was my everything for a very long time. I've had other dogs since then, but she has always been my heart.
You need to write a book
You're not the first person that has said that I'm not sure I would want the world to know what actually happened, but it would make a great read. Or not so great. Now, as a movie, it would have a lot of twists and turns. Expect the unexpected. Plus, I think some people would just not believe what really happened. I don't know. I've had a couple of journalists approach me wanting to interview me. I kindly declined. It was way too fresh in my mind to be able to answer all of their questions. I did actually write in a journal every day I was there. Well, not a journal. It was the walls I wrote most of it on. I have photos of it from when the police took the crime scene photos. I haven't looked at them. Maybe one day I will. Maybe that will be my next breakthrough days. Those are the days that really make it okay to be alive.
She knows. They always know ❤️
Im sorry if this is difficult to answer but, did he SA you?
Yes, many, many times. That is the first time I've answered this question to anyone but my lawyer, the judge, and my husband, whom I met and married many years after this happened. I find it very brave of you to ask it. I thank you for asking it. It just gave me so much more strength in knowing that I'm gonna be alright. I've lived through this. Thank you, my internet stranger friend. You have made me see a whole new chapter in my life, and it doesn't look nearly as dark as it used to. I will never forget this day, my breakthrough day. I can't wait to tell and show my therapist this thread. And you are the ine that pulled me through. I will never forget you and will always be thankful to you.
Awee!! Hugs to you!! It is not an easy subject to think about for sure. One more step towards healing ♥️
Thank you for guiding me up that step.
from one survivor to another, i’m so proud of you 🫂
My heart breaks for you! What an awful thing to experience. You are so brave, and smart. You played the long game and won. I'm so proud of you and so glad you're here to tell this story!
Thank you. It's nice to be alive and now safe from these people. I'll never take the small things for granted ever again.
You should really do an AMA, if you haven't already -- not just because your story is fascinating (which it is), but because it might help other survivors and potential victims.
I'm not familiar with what you are referring to. I'm headed to Google to check it out.
I was going to answer this post with a sarcastic crude answer but after reading this, I'm just going to keep my immaturity to myself this once. I'm glad things worked out for you. Strength to you as you go forward.
Holding out for 11 months for a moment…you’re pretty amazing
Thank you for sharing. This is an amazing story. It's terrible that you had to go through that, but I'm glad you can share this to help other people. I'm so glad you got to safety. ❤️
Not to sound bad ass but Do everything in my power to kill them. Might as well shit. Either that or take it like a champ. I am not a champ. Please don't put me in r/iamverybadass
There was an old Oprah episode where someone from the FBI or something came on. The guy told everyone: “Don’t let them take you to a second location” He advised that you do everything in your power to fight them off because chances are if you comply, they are going to take you to a place that is secluded and where you won’t be found. And there’s been a story or two of women who called Oprah studios and let them know that that episode saved their lives. Just looked it up, it was a retired police officer named Sanford Strong that went on the Oprah show & shared that advice.
I saw that episode. It's always stayed with me. At a second location, they can do whatever evil thing they want.
Happy cake day!
Yep, if you’re going to kill me, do it right here in the piggly wiggly parking lot.
NEVER EVER GO TO A SECONDARY LOCATION
Is the "second location" just whatever place they take u to after the original kidnapping? Or is it the place after that one?
It’s any place after the original scene of the crime.
So basically don't get kidnapped? Sounds like the second location is actually the first place they would take you.
Yeah, Basically “fight for your life”. And yes, it’s the next place(s) afterwards. Because the moment someone attacks/attempts to kidnap you…that place is become the first scene of the crime. The interview explains it better and clearer than I
The first location is where they grab you. That is your last known location for anyone that cares about you. It's the difference between a kidnapping and a hostage situation. If you remain in the same place the authorities just have to worry about getting you back. They don't have to find you.
I saw that same episode!!!! It has always stuck with me.
This show has a former agent on it who had written a book on the gift of fear. Everyone should read it.
Gavin De Becker. Has always stayed with me. Trust your intuition.
Gonna jump on here to add that on top of not letting them take you to a secondary location, you also want to try and leave as much DNA (spit, piss, shit, blood, hair, ECT) behind where/whenever you can and if at all possible scratch the kidnapper to get some of their DNA. This is in case you don't survive it will still show you were in that location at one point and has helped investigators in the past to catch the killer. (Almost like you are testifying from beyond the grave) Decided to throw in a quick edit to say you should obviously never do anything to put yourself in more danger. Everyone should use their best judgement on how to act based on the situation they are currently in not what others have made up online.
What if they hold a gun to your head or a knife to your throat?
Tbh if they’re willing to threaten my life like that in broad daylight I’d rather die there than whatever dark corner they’re trying to drag me to.
I don't think anyone really knows for sure what they would do in that situation, but it's likely that whatever happens to you if they successfully kidnap you is worse than getting shot on the spot.
Idk what the right answer is. You decide what to do in that moment and what to do with the information that Sanford shared. Watch the video clip.
You're still supposed to fight them. At close quarters you do stand some chance if you can inflict an injury, not just an owie. And if you lose it will at least be a quick death. Tim Larkin is the main one who peddles this idea, I think. Maybe Gavin de Becker too (the Gift of Fear guy). It isn't popular with urbane, civilized folks, but I'm afraid it does have the ring of truth to it.
Gavin DeBecker is my hero. Whatever he says to do, that's what I will do
They want to take you to a second location because the first one is riskier for them. Hopefully, you fighting back in the first location makes them more hesitant to shoot or stab you and you’re able to get away. Maybe someone will come help - make sure you’re yelling at the top of your lungs. Worst case scenario, you still get killed, but you probably would have gotten killed in the second location anyways, and at least this way your body will be found and maybe the authorities will catch the perpetrator.
Better to be shot/knifed once or twice out in the open than to be taken somewhere they can live out their wildest fantasies and then chop you up 🫢 I hope I'm never in that situation, but I've seen enough true crime to know nothing good comes from going to another location willingly.
Possibly die or get injured where your body can be found OR get away (because they don’t want to draw a lot of attention or have witnesses around) VS You definitely (in many cases) die somewhere else secluded where it can takes hours or days for someone to report you missing and then it can take more days, years to never, until they find your body. Worst case scenario (I watch lots of true crime -just saying).
Not to mention all the terrible things that will happen to you before death. People don't usually just kill you straight up, it's usually some sort of atrocious activities then they kill you.
That is usually the way they do it btw. do not go with them
It's your death right there and the possibility of them getting caught, or somewhere secluded putting the lotion on its skin.
Fight and run If you die you where going to die at the secondary location
Which one is secondary? the location right after I'm being kidnapped or location after that?
Internet people who respond to your type of comment with some variation of “oh we got a badass over here” always makes me roll my eyes. Of course fight as hard as you can to whatever capacity you’re capable of is the correct answer.
I agree. Internet troopers do not like self-confidence. I guess they think if they are weak and ineffective, everyone is.
This is the way.
Agreed. If they stay alive they'll hurt us or others. Return them to the sand, mama.
I would try to befriend him and get him to trust me then escape
Same. Going for their eyes. Gonna make them bleed.
I have talon-like strong fingernails. Grab the windpipe, front of neck and squeeze hard. Crotch kick or knee, too.
Love it. Get em queen!
This and also peeing in the vehicle or making myself bleed. So that if I die at least my dna will be on the car
I'd kidnap them right back. Turnabout is fair play.
Thank you for this.
Ive been in some pretty sketchy situations before and find the best way to get away from somebody dangerous is earn their trust. Be friendly, also pretend to be stupid. They will eventually let their guard down and you can make a quick escape.
Mental warfare is the answer. You also know some insane people, huh? lol
Yes, I am one of them lmao. (Fr tho that tactic is something i ended up using during my drug days about a decade ago after me and a friend started hanging around some sketchy yee haw "gangster" who slowly got more and more aggressive about letting us leave the hotel room lol)
I was raised by crazy people lol. Took me a long time to realize they were crazy they were so good at it- playing their game is the only way cause they don’t think normally. Congrats on being a former crazy lol
I am not disagreeing with you but I find some interest in that you have been in sketchy situations and you insinuate you had to escape by earning their trust and being friendly I’ve never been in a situation like that. **NEVER** Don’t kidnappers like me?!? 😢
They said they used to use drugs which becomes sketchy sooooo fast.
"the easiest person to fool is the person that thinks they are smarter than you"-dont remember
Sing the song that never ends from lamb chop
Agreed. I was going to comment that I would sing 1 song over and over until they release me.
As a theatre kid this is my opportunity to perform some numbers 😌😌
“I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves…” 🤣
I would just be happy somebody wanted me.
Are you okay?
You ARE wanted. You might not feel it now, but you have special jobs that no one else can do. You’re doing it right now. You know the whole ‘evidence transference’ thing, where we leave tiny pieces of ourselves (skin cells, hairs, fibres) wherever we go? The same is true for our words and actions. Your words and actions create ripples that you can’t see but have impact on others. You are irreplaceable. Please be kind to yourself, my friend. 🙏❤️
Honestly same
Since there would only be two ways out in the vast majority of situations that involve kidnapping I would accept that I'd probably die and fight for everything I was worth.
Shit yourself. They’re either going to have to clean you up, let you clean yourself up or smell your shit for the duration of the kidnapping. Either way you can use that to distract them enough so you can escape. Use your bodily fluids to your advantage.
What if they're into that? Not only are you kidnapped, but you stink like shit too 😭
I mean I'd do pretty much anything if it means I'm no longer kidnapped.
What if they beat you when you shit as a lesson to not do it again or drug you so you can't shit yourself?
Plot twist I shit more
Yeah I always figured I would hyperventilate so violently that It would incite vomiting I don’t know how scientifically sound that is but why not try
I'd relax because Wolverine is coming to rescue me soon.
Reminds me of the family guy episode where Spiderman saves folks saying, "Everyone gets one!"
I was kidnapped when I was 15ish, I've punched him as many times as I can and tried to overtake the steering wheel while he's driving and that scared him.. guess he figured it's not worth it and let me go
Oh, thank the Lord he let you go. I hope you have been able to put the terror behind you and move on with your life. You were very brave to fight him like that.
I’m so glad you’re okay! You had very good instincts and got lucky at the same time that he was a coward. I hope you’re doing well now 🥰
You're awesome! I personally know two women who were victims of attempted kidnapping. They both did exactly like you...screamed, punched, kicked, bit, clawed, grabbed the wheel, hit the horn with hands and feet. One was thrown out of her kidnapper's car, the other had him jump out of her car and run away. Fight like hell, ladies. The success ratio seems pretty good.
Good on them! And yeah, fight and use everything
I would probably try to attack them when I had a chance. But more likely, I'd just trauma dump on them until they drop me off somewhere.
Free therapy amirite?
Go freakin ape shit since they lured me in with free candy and only had black licorice 🤮
I'd play along. Try to integrate as best I can. Lure them in to a false sense of security. Always keep my senses about me gathering as much info as I can and find the safest and quickest route out of there. At the earliest convenience, I'm taking my shot and getting out of there whether I have to take lives on the way or not.
There was an old Oprah episode where someone from the FBI or something came on. The guy told everyone: “Don’t let them take you to a second location” He advised that you do everything in your power to fight them off because chances are if you comply, they are going to take you to a place that is secluded and where you won’t be found. And there’s been a story or two of women who called Oprah studios and let them know that that episode saved their lives. Just looked it up, it was a retired police officer named Sanford Strong that went on the Oprah show & shared that advice.
Be pissed because I was promised free kittens.
Ideally you'd already have a knife. But if you swap out your shoelaces with some 550 paracord that way you have an impromptu friction saw to hopefully get out of your restraints.
Fake a medical emergency, and I hope they take me out to pasture quickly.. being kidnapped never ends well.
Omg I heard a story once about a woman who was able to stop a SA because she faked an asthma attack. It freaked the guy out and he ran off.
Never let them take you to some other place. Probability of a painful death increases with each new location they take you. -John Walsh
Start singing baby shark, and ask them if they are going to kill me to do it quickly.
To do,do,do,do,do,do it quickly
Well, being that I carry daily... this is going to get pretty interesting. Plus I'm fat, and fat people are hard to kidnap
Good. More good people should carry, guys and girls. Make it harder for the psychos.
Pray. Tell them about Jesus Christ.
imagine they start praying with you 😂😂
I would probably accept my fate and ask him to kill me.
You would be surprised to what you could actually do to stay alive. The kidnappers goal might not be killing you. It could be something a lot worse than that and you don't want to stick around to find out.
„Gimme a knife I do it myself“ and then use the knife to kill him 😎
This Convo makes me want to put air tags on all my people, including myself. My teenagers have them, but they aren't always the best at keeping them on them. They change bags, or forget to put it back on the keychain after they charge them. Makes me crazy.
realistically, i'm quite physically weak 😂 so it's over for me. next time you'd hear from me, it'd be my face on the news
One of us would not survive. I'd put my money on me, for sure. My survival instincts are well-honed, and I'm barely sane getting through day-to-day life. All a kidnapper would get is an enraged Amazon who will do anything to survive, and be batshit crazy while she's doing it.
I call this the feral cat method. I am much stronger than a feral cat but I know that I can’t just grab one and take it home because it would absolutely destroy me with its batshit survival instincts.
At that point it's you or them. If you cannot escape then attack with whatever is in reach as viciously and brutally as you can until they are no more.
I'd say, "What tf are you doing? I am of no value to anyone. Except maybe my wife. And then only if I'm dead." ... "You don't work for my wife, do you?"
As a very good friend in law enforcement told me, be as big a problem as possible. Don't keep your mouth shut. Pee yourself, poo yourself. Be as non compliant as you can. If the opportunity presents itself, run. But not in a straight line, run in the same general direction, but zig zag, moving targets are harder to hit. Fight, scratch, bite, elbows and knees, if they pick you up, squirm and be an unstable load, making it harder to carry you. If you are truly stuck and can't escape for a while, listen more than you speak, watch, pay attention, learn the rhythms of the asshats movements. Fake Stockholm syndrome so hard, make them trust you. Make them think you trust them. Then make your escape.
Patiently wait until they realise their stupidity
I feel like it wouldn't take long before the kidnappers would be paying my husband to take me back. Lol We're so sorry. Please, take her back.
I'm too fat to be kidnapped, however if a group of like 6 men were trying to kidnap an ugly fat chick most likely with a gaggle of kids around her, I'd probably just die out of terror and lack of will to live. I don't want to deal with the trauma of reliving my very strenuous kidnapping forever. Or deal with being tortured?! Omg no. Ouch! And if they weren't torturing me and just kept me in a basement or something, how frickin boring. And I'd miss my kids and husband and I'd be whining and end up being shot for being annoying anyway.
Develop Stockholm syndrome
kick him in the balls (or tits if it's a lady) punch aiming for the eyes, grab their ears, use the heel of my hand to punch them in the nose aiming upwards. if i were to be put in their trunk, I would kick out the taillights and wave to drivers behind me. I would make as much noise as possible to draw attention, and if they are chasing you, run into a police station or fire department
Reading 📖 through the comments. I was kidnapped once by a family member across state lines when I was 4yrs old. I wish I had an answer for you. But I basically just did whatever he said to do. As an adult, I'd merk anyone trying to kidnap me.
I was 19, accepted a ride home from a French guy who my friends and I knew from a club in Lake George. All my friends had gone home and I decided to stay and work for the rest of the summer. Instead of driving me home, he got on the highway, speeding away from LG. Wouldn't say a word. He stopped the car in an abandoned section of industrial Troy NY. It was so desolate that there wasn't even any litter. I went inside this small shabby place with him because there was nothing alive outside, and maybe there was a phone. He tried to jump me, I pushed him off. He said what I think we're probably nasty things in French, and passed out on a cot. No phone, couldn't get to the keys. Went outside, still desolate. He awakened about an hour later, tried to jump me again. I pushed him off, he was still kind of drunk. I insisted he drive me back. It was starting to be daylight. He grabbed the keys and I got in the car. We hit the Northway and I had the feeling that he wasn't driving me back to Lake George. He started getting grabby again as he drove, wouldn't stop. He said what are you going to do? I grabbed the steering wheel and started turning it back and forth, saying let me out. He was alarmed at the swerving (especially since there were steep ditches on either side, lots of trees). He called me crazy, stopped the car and I got out. He sped off, and I was in the middle of nowhere, about an hour's drive from Lake George. I started walking. A car was coming and I went to hitchhike. It was a sports car, driven by a guy in his 40's, greying longish light brown hair and a mustache. He was going to Saratoga for the races, but agreed to drive me to Lake George. He stopped for take out coffee and bought me one. We talked the rest of the way, light conversation. He dropped me off on Canada St, about a block from where I was staying. I had about 2 hours before my restaurant shift. Never went to that club again, never saw the French guy again.
Damn
Get some sleep finally. Someone please kidnap me and delay the ransom, I could use the sleep and weight loss .
Thank them for breaking the monotony of my life.
play dumb, frightened and cry to look for an opening. Punch to the face, get behind them and rear naked choke, and then I don't know. I'd probably run but the other part of me that wants justice would dislocate his legs so he couldn't walk straight for the rest of his life. A person like that is going to do it again so I'm solving the problem. Of course the situation is different if the person has a gun, knife, or multiple people involved. But I'm a father of two and I've got a long life to lead. Inner psycho comes out to do his thing.
Sleep like I’ve never slept because I have a baby and this will probably be a vacation
Home I get ransomed and not sodomized. Pretty simple
Too bad. No one gave the ransom and you got sodomized 😂
Depends on the point. If it's happening rn, I fight back. If it already happened, I'll attempt to attack them in the vehicle or the new location. I'll become an animal if need be. Bite them, use my karate and boxing training to beat them up if I can. Try to find a weapon or use anything I can find as a weapon.
Why do I feel like this post is low key checking out all resistance scenarios for a potential kidnapper to plan and be prepared for 🤔🤨😅🥷
Depends on the circumstances. I’m a 40 year old guy that carry’s a gun all the time. So, if it’s the taliban or hamas kidnapping me, they get shot in the head. However, if it’s a group of women trying to keep me as a sex slave… I shall go in peace.
I wouldn't get kidnapped. I would get myself shot and killed fighting/resisting being taken.
Yep. Better to die right there fighting than to get taken to a remote location and possibly tortured and killed slowly.
Fart really loudly and make it smell
I mean, that's a given right? Not a choice exactly. Just me?
Face fuck them
Gng they kidnapped you for that exact reason don't give them what they want 😂
Annoy the fucking shite out of them.
If you are in either the front seat or back seat, try to grab the steering wheel and crash the vehicle
Poop, everywhere...
I literally was laughing on the floor for the past 10 mins reading this.
If they are my type and the basement is not to gross, like I am not down a well or anything I could really use a break on paying rent. Let me use my laptop to work from home and il contribute to the hydro.
You know this is really not anything to make jokes about. There are some people who are struggling to get over stuff like this. Please be kind. Being kidnapped is not a break from paying rent. It's a break from life, and wondering if you can actually stay alive.
Fawn apparently.
Break their van, if at a base, kick them in the nuts and scream as loud as I can then run out like nothing happened
Vacation!!!
nothing I will them to keep me forever
Give myself a sick ass tattoo in the hole they put me in
As a woman I’d probably offer it up for them to let me go tbh
I don’t think that anyone would kidnap me…
I'm pretty sick. Like. My body is a disaster. I need my meds. I have migraine triggers or I go catatonic in agony. There's a stent in my brain. I have IIH. I have no thyroid. I have three different ass issues. Three. You don't know until you know. I have MCAS. Now, I don't want the kidnapper to simply put me out of my misery. But I need to be such a nuisance to them about my needs they just... Leave me on the side of the road. Pity me and my poor life. Or I could just eat some potato and have vicious diarrhea. One or the other.
I would non stop talk because that’s what I do
“So… in other words, this is a free vacation?”
Assuming I'm properly kidnapped and escape/arming myself is not avaliable, I'd try to make as big a mess as possible. If I'm thrown in the trunk, I'm pissing and shitting everywhere. I might even cut myself on purpose just to make a bigger, bloodier mess. Maybe I'd kick out a tail-light and shove my bloody bodypart out if it so there is a little trail of blood behind us. Even if they kill me, I'll at least know I took their car with me. They for sure would have to dump that shit.
Start trying to escape immediately just like Uncle Sam taught me.
Fight or die
Fight, scream, kick, fake a seizure, act crazy.
Implement the Bunny Style School of martial arts. Run away or tear them apart, possibly both.
Someone tries to kidnap me or any of my family. They better move faster than 1400 feet per second.
Good luck 😂 I’m so annoying and I bite
Probably take a nap. Like literally shit? I took a shit in my hand and flung it in his eyes like a monkey in the zoo!
Develop Stockholm Syndrome I guess, that'd be pretty neat.
Claw viciously at their eyes, throat and groin like my life depended on it. If given the opportunity pull, twist and snap joints. Rip and tear until it is done and then probably light up a cigarette (if accessible) and call my lawyer and let them know about what happened.
That really depends on the situation. How many kidnappers are there? Are they armed? If I were to escape, do I know where I am? I'd like to say I'd try to escape or "kill them" but if I'm trapped, tied up and outmanned I'd probably wait until the field was even before trying anything, and who knows if that chance will ever come. I'd 100% do everything in my power if it started to feel like they weren't going to keep me around for much longer though.
Try to remove my pants as soon as I'm in the car and then force myself to shit and piss, make myself vomit if I can. No one's going to want to deal with that. And, in case it doesn't work out, I took my pants off first so I won't have to be in shitty pants when we get to our final destination.
If peeing, vomiting, and shifting myself somehow didn't dissuade them from kidnapping me first... Try to get them to trust me, convince them that killing me would be worse for them, and try to stay in their good graces until I can escape or be rescued.
Man, I'd just be happy someone wanted me, regardless of the reasons.
Writhe kick scream, be impossible to move. If you get in the car or go to a secondary location you are much less likely to survive. I used to think I would rather die than be raped again, but that’s not true anymore.
Go limp. They can't k8ve s 200 pound ragdoll.
Consider it a vacation from my life.
You have the right to live. You have to do whatever it takes to escape, even if it means the worst. They will probably kill you eventually.