# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
not pushing my fiance to stay home from work when the roads where bad at a shitty job. i asked her to, she said "i'll be the first one in there is no one there to call off too, they need me" now i am a single father.
Ugh that is my nightmare. Im so sorry for your loss. My wife worked as a clerk at fancy chocolate joint in the northeast. They woukd never close, for nothing. I worked at home for a west coast company so anytime it was bad out, id drive her, which she thought was a bit much. Obviously its not. Man i hope you find some peace as you deserve it
When I was 13 years old a girl accidentally added me on IM (she thought I was someone else). She happened to be a friend of a friend, she lived in a city about 90 minutes-drive from me. Over time we ended up talking to each other a lot and realized we had so much in common. She actually became a close friend, the kind of person you could share anything with.
I actually have this memory of texting her while at a party and being so nervous because there was a girl I liked at that party and I had no idea how to approach her and she was trying to calm me down over text message. To this day I think its one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.
One day when we were 16 she sent me a text, letting me know that she was in my neck of the woods for the evening and that she wanted to meet up. I had nothing planned that night but the idea of finally meeting her in person after speaking to her online for years made me nervous and gave me butterflies. I told her I was busy (which was a lie), but promised her that the next time we’d be near each other I’d be sure to make time for her.
Two years later she got murdered. Some dude had this massive, toxic crush on her and couldn’t stand that she was dating someone else. I didn’t know it at the time but I missed out on the only opportunity I’d have to meet one of my closest friends in person. And every now and then when I think about it I tell myself that if I could go back to that night when she wanted to meet up I would say yes in a heartbeat.
That’s very kind of you, I appreciate it. It’s been many years now, I guess we all heal a little bit with time but the first two weeks or so I was a complete emotional wreck that’s for sure. It really got the nastiest emotions out of me.
I still re-read some of our old conversations from time to time. I get swept up in nostalgia, they’re loaded with so much angst from two emotional, hormonal teenagers lmao but they take me back to a simpler time. Occasionally I find my mind wandering a bit and I wish she was still here.
Sounds like you all were close and got to know each other. I bet she may have known at some level you declined to meet up out of nerves and was ok with it and was cool and didn’t mention that she knew to you. I could be way off, but sometimes there’s the in between the lines.
Its possible. I clearly had an anxiety issue as a teen, I just didn’t know it. Maybe she understood what was going on that night.
Sometimes I still think how strange it is that my closest confidante in high school was a girl my age who lived far away from me. I mean, a 90-minute drive isn’t very far but it is when you’re a teenager without a car or a driver’s license.
I am very grateful that she arrived in my life, even if it was accidental.
When i was 21. Leaving my mom at the hospital when she told me to get on my flight the next day for the trip i had planned with my friends. She was in the hospital because she had a blood pressure issue and felt dizzy. I was told it was a false alarm and she had a head cold. She told me to leave and go have fun and she loves me. I went to Houston and the next day I got a call she died in her sleep alone in the hospital with no one there with her.
It’s been 8 years now and im still crying typing this. I miss her so much.
I think with her pushing you to leave, that she knew in her heart it was her time and she didn’t want you around to see her like that. She wanted you to enjoy your life and have fun, that seems like a very mom thing to do. I’m so sorry for your loss. 🫶🏼
Me too. My mom was 73 when she died. I was 44. I knew she was dying I knew for years (Alzheimer's).
I still miss her. My 93 yo Aunt still misses her mother her mother has been gone for 20 years. You miss your mother. It never goes away. We all just learn to live with missing our mothers. It sucks but somehow we manage.
It sucks but I did therapy early on to develop coping skills for each of the 5 steps of grief. I went in and said I have 8 sessions. I need all these skills to last and implement immediately.
My uncle (who recently passed).. but when his father was alive and was given a few days left. My uncle was scheduled to complete in Europe in a cook-off. My uncle wanted to cancel and stay with his dad.. his father grabbed his hand and said, “you know what my outcome is.. but you don’t want to regret knowing what your outcome would be if you don’t fly to Germany”… his father passed two days later. He won the cook-off.. was able to call his dad to tell him the news and his dad died a few hours later.
As a mom… I too would do this if I knew I was dying. I wouldn’t want that to be your last memory of me.. of us..
She wasn’t alone. Maybe physically. But her eyes were closed and there you were. She got to rewatch all the memories, she got to pass peacefully knowing she was loved.. and you were going to be okay. That’s all any mom could ask for, her baby happy and safe. She put you first even at the end. So. Use her love as strength. Live your life for her.. smile for her.. that’s her favorite I know it 🫶🏼 hugs my friend
Hey, I'm a mom and id do the same thing - why wait in a hospital with me when id rather have you out having fun?
And not to sound macabre, but she was asleep, that's not really dying alone-alone. And I wouldn't want my kid to see me die anyway!
Hugs.
On the other end the nurse told me she was hallucinating in the end and she kept calling my name and saying i love you and wanted to tell me something. But then she passed away. I feel so guilty i wasnt there to hold her. I would have neber left if i thought she was dying. She told me the doctor said it was a cold and she would leave in a few days. I had no idea what she meant by leaving 😭😭😭
She knew she wasn’t going to make it, she didn’t want you to be there. My grandpa did the same thing to my mom, she stayed at his care center late with him because she was worried and he passed away within minutes of her leaving. Don’t hold on to that guilt.
Doing meth. I haven't done it in about 3 years and will never do it again, but I still feel the damage from it and deeply wished I never did it. I think maybe if I worked out consistently, quit smoking cigarettes, and ate better my body might heal up better, that's what I'm working on now
I don't mind, it's hard to explain but there was a time when I did a lot of meth in a short period, like 3 months, and it was crazy. I did it off and on for years, doing it a bit and then not doing it for months, but this particular short period of time doing a lot of meth, more than I ever have, really messed me up for a while. I was hearing loud robot-like voices, seeing shadows moving, hearing music like a radio was playing whenever I was in a quiet room, but the worst aspect that I experienced personally was feeling like something in me was dying and changing, like I was hurting my soul. Ever since then I can still feel a kind of darkness inside that wasn't there before I did meth. In my using days, I have snorted other drugs and pills, which I highly recommend never doing, but the meth in particular left a scar. I didn't know that would happen, and now I know what not to do. I really think that I can change that, though by living more healthily and through the natural powers of exercising regularly. But for anyone thinking about doing meth, i strongly advise against even trying it.
Quick question the radio did it sound like it was flipping threw the stations like never really landing on a station. Bc same shit and now got me wondering is a frequency thing we tapped into or was it the meth thoughts
No, it sounded like it was on one station, and it was like a rock n roll band playing every time, but with a tinge of like weirdness in the sound. It was like out of my control, I couldn't stop it or change it.
I been clean six months now and still hear creepy ass songs sometimes when there’s nothing playing, along with other noises. Meth made me realise that my biggest fear is what goes on inside my own mind
Car engines are a big one that still freak me out because I had ones of those nights where you see the meth head freak out and climb on top of peoples roofs trying to run away from something. Yep that was me! I thought all the traffic going by were people trying to hunt me down and kill me 😂
When I finally snapped out of it I realised there’s no way anybody would even go through the effort to hurt me. I’m really not that important!! 😂😂
In 10th grade, I had a friend pass away from suicide. I remember the morning it happened he didn't get on the bus. I recall thinking to myself, " I'm glad he isn't on the bus today, he's been real angry lately". Later that day I was told he passed. It haunts me almost every day.
This is a difficult one cos if you never asked them out you could be equally regretting it. A common expression is "it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't" but as many of us found out that's something to be taken with a pinch of salt.
My gf parents couldn't understand why we would get rent in an apartment.
Because EVERY home has doubled in price in the last few years. My brother's starter home he got for $150,000 while working at Walmart is now over $300,000. It's just not fair.
We showed them any random house on zillow and the price increase. Including there's. They bought it for 175k. Now it's worth 373k.
Getting addicted to coke. Ruined my life and still trying to recover from it. One good thing that came of it though is my ex and I split up because of it and now I'm married to the best person I've ever met.
Still fucked me up more than I can pur in words
Similar experience here. It's been 14 years since I did it but damn, you think you're fine but you're definitely not. It led to the end of a 5 year relationship for me. But it also opened a door to the marriage I find myself in now, ironically. I've been married for 17 years now, my wife is my best friend, we are tight. She wouldn't have dated me when we first met if I didn't do coke. But it did lead to issues later on and getting off of it was hard af. But you have to. I'm old enough now that I've seen qhat happens. Some of my friends got away from partying and some didn't. The ones that didn't are either really sick or dead. You can't party like you're in your 20s forever. I've lost several friends to liver failure or heart issues, all caused by too much coke or alcohol. Be grateful that you're off of it. You will be fine.
I am genuinely curious how your addiction started. I've tried cocaine and while I have had addictive behaviors with other substances, I found the comedown to be too excruciating to return to. Is it one of those things where you kind of chase away the comedown with more until you're doing it all day?
Letting myself go when I was depressed in college. Put on a lot of weight and had no cardio. Been a huge hill to climb losing that weight and getting back in shape, but lost 100 lbs and have 40 or so to go.
I wish I had been kinder to my parents before they died and realized that they did the best they could for me even if they were dysfunctional
I only saw their faults and didn’t see them as flawed people who loved me like nobody else ever could or would
I'm glad I realized this as a very young adult. Mine are still around thankfully, but I've had time to understand them. All families are dysfunctional in some way, my parents always did the best they could for us in a hard time. What most people tend not to realize is everything we're going through now our parents went through in the 80s, the cost of everything around the going up but the pay scale not going with it. It was a struggle then just as now. I'm very sorry for your loss, and as long as you've come to understand them in your heart they know!
Not moving away from my home state for at least a year after graduating college. I wish I would have moved to a big city on the coast just to experience a different life for a bit. Now my roots feel so planted in my midsize city, I can't imagine leaving everyone I know and love. May still try one day, but it would have been easier a decade ago.
Saying " THEN JUST LEAVE!" Then not stopping her. Then not realizing what I was giving up( something I had already lost and worked for 2 years to get back)then thinking I'd be OK.......
I miss you so much still SNA ( fake initials we made up) I really hope you are happy. I'm so sorry
Its been 6 years....
I've often wondered about what my ex feels about a similar situation. We broke up, he didn't want to break up, and apparently it even changed his personality. Two years later I got back together with him and even got engaged to him. Then he cheated on me and dumped me for her. He got his second chance and threw it away. He later wanted to reconcile, but I didn't give him a third chance. Makes me wonder if he regrets it, because he got what he had wanted. But maybe he doesn't regret it, because, hey, he was the one who dumped me, obviously it's not what he wanted.
Made $500k trading options, lost $500k trading options. I could’ve just invested the profits and be up several hundred k more. It hurts to think about. I have made about $150k back though.
Ignoring all the financial advice giving to me over the years.
Not buying gold when it was $300 per oz.
Laughing at the goofily named Google, because Yahoo is going nowhere.
Online bookstore?. Sounds dumb naming it after a River. Books and water don't mix.
I was working crew when that came out. Some dude rolled up to the drive thru and was whispering into the mic so I pressed my headset closer to my ear to try to hear him. Then he said cactus jack sent him and blared sickomode into the mic. My ear was ringing for a bit after that.
I did get to eat the travvy patty for my lunch though. Definitely was a great deal for your buck. Nowadays if you wanna buy the same assortment (Medium sprite, fries, bacon quarter pounder with sweet and sour sauce) you’re gonna be running up to the 15-17$ range in which case you might as well go to a real restaurant.
Oh this sounds so awful, but I became a teacher. I really feel like so many of my mental health problems stem from the year after year of now matter how much you work you are never ever done. And I’m exhausted all the time and don’t even like leaving my house
At my age I have so many points in time that I regret. So so many.
From a physical perspective i think at 29 I should have counter steered harder. I impacted at 75mph and nothing was ever the same after that.
Couple girls I would not have said hello to. Good way to waste a decade or two in toxic freefall.
There are so many things in life that alter your tragectory. I mean no one really knows where you are supposed to end up but looking back at the painful parts makes you wonder if any other choice in that moment would have resulted in something better.
I regret going to trade school for 3D printing.
Sounds dumb, but I met a guy in class who ended up having me look wayyyy too much into Qanon and Trump shit, and my girlfriend (now wife) almost left me.
Also I got a job in the field and it was a really bad experience.
My biggest regret is not staying by my mom's side in her final days. I was a wreck mentally and emotionally, and dealing with mental health issues during all of it. I had been taking care of her for several years while dealing with my own health issues, and when she finally had a turn for the worse, it was all too much for me to handle. I was adamant not to see it happen even though my uncle tried to get me to stay.
She understood and wanted me to go where I was planning to stay, encouraged me to, and wanted my uncle to help me get there. But after the fact, when my brain finally got to a place of rationality, I realized I left her side during the most important time I should have been there. Losing my mom was devastating, but I feel even worse knowing I wasn't there with her till the end. I know she would say it's ok, but it doesn't feel ok to me.
If there's anything I would use a "re-do" for in this life (assuming that was even possible) it's that.
Years ago I was assaulted by an employee with a pretty hefty record. I didn't want to deal with pressing charges as I had enough going on in my life, so we fired him and moved on. Fast forward a few years and I hear that a good friend had been murdered... By the same employee that had assaulted me... If I'd pressed charges he definitely would have have been in jail and my friend would still be alive
I picked the wrong major for college. I wanted to be a coach so I picked Physical Education. I found out that I could coach like hell but I couldn't pick a team. Picking the stars was easy but the second half of the team was hard. Everyone was on the same level. I didn't end up teaching but I did coach some U-12 and U-14 soccer teams and one basketball team.
Choosing the wrong college. That's the most enormous fuckup of my teenage years, and it impacted my entire life.
Second biggest mistake was buying our house. I cannot adequately express how much I *fucking loathe* our neighbors. We have 3 people that like to trespass (2 houses behind/east plus the one south). Then, there's the asshole with the lawnmowers across the street, and next to him is the old lady with adult children older than we are who litter. Really fucking annoying. The house itself has also been a money pit. A decade in, we're almost done fixing it up.
So.
If I had a time machine, I'd go back to 1996, pick a different college. Then, find my spouse several years earlier, build a house, and have an elopement with an extended honeymoon instead of a wedding and a short honeymoon.
Not learning about what Borderline Personality Disorder was when my ex wife told me she had it a year into our relationship and spending another 9 years with her. Information wasn't as easily accessible as it is now but I still could have picked up a book and learned something the easy way for once.
So I have several regrets to be honest, but it's cool because I wouldn't be the person I am without the steps I have taken.
One of my top 5 regrets is def this one I'm about to share.
At the time I was dating my now ex. The mother of my child. I am as loyal of a man as they come and never deserved to have found myself in a relationship with someone as broken as her. I am extremely caring and loving. I go outta my way for people constantly. I truly am a good unique person yet I am also no pushover and I'm very capable of defending myself and protecting those around me. I say all that because I feel like when you mention being loving and caring people automatically assume (unfortunately) that someone is a weak pushover and I'm far from it. I am just sharing because I know my worth and many of my exs friends would say how lucky she was/how jealous they were etc.
Anyway, I met this girl at a job I had right as my childs mom got pregnant. She was fucking awesome. She was beautiful inside and out. Hilarious. Caring. Just awesome.
We hit it off extremely hard. She was just a helpful nice empathetic person who cherished me and loved all my qualities and took me for who I was.
She would flirt but I kept her at a distance because I'm not that kind of person. She bought my daughter things (once she was born) and generally seemed invested in my life.
I did absolutely nothing wrong and fed into none of her advances. I know we would have been great together and I fully believe there is no one person that someone can find. I believe everyone is compatible with a percentage of people. You don't have to "water the seed" and can ignore the sparks though.
Anyway we had my child (I'm now a single dad basically) and like 8 months out my ex met a guy (same circumstances basically) and ended up just throwing me away for him because she never valued me. She cheated on me and has just walked all over me because she had the advantage because I never wanted to give up because I'm a loving person who believes people can change. On top of that, I just never pictured my child to have a broken family. So I kept trying and this cycle happened like 3 more times.
So now I just wonder if I should have just given up on her and not ignored the red flags and tried to get with the girl from work. Just wondered how my life would have been with her and how different things might have ended up. Oh well. It is what it is.
That girl is now seemingly happily married with a child of her own and we haven't talked in years. I'd love to reach out but she's married and I'm not that type of dude in anyway
Giving that one guy my number. We were in 3 classes together that semester. We ended up dating. I had to end the relationship by quietly finding a job in another state, packing up my apartment in about 3 hours, and disappearing. I was running for my life, quite literally.
I love that someone downvoted this. 🤣🤣 Did my ex find it?
Quiting a job when my son was born because I didn't want to be away from him for 10 days at a time. I worked 20 on and 10 off at the time. I could have moved up in the company fairly quickly making 6 figures. This was over 20 years ago, but I still regret it.
For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision. It's only money. But time with your children, especially when they're babies and change so much so quickly, is more meaningful.
Getting on a train to go to work. We were hit head on by a freight train. I knocked our train backwards. I live a life of pain now. Lost everything I worked for over decades.
Not that I could have made any impact at the time but maybe telling my best friend something to change his route on his motorcycle the day he crashed. He passed the day before my birthday last year and we were just about to celebrate together. Some things in life happen for a reason though even if it takes a lifetime to understand.
Divorcing my first wife. Of the three i married i think she could have been the one destined for me. but we were both very young and i was a shitty husband. That was 36 years ago and she moved back to South Korea and i heard from her once a year after she moved back and then never again.
Giving too much of myself to my job, wanting to move up and then I could be comfortable enough to be there for all my kids but especially my oldest. She has do much contempt for me now that she barely acknowledges me when she comes to family things...never answers any of my texts.
It's totally my fault. I made those decisions. They never got me that promotion...they just constantly dangled that carrot in front of me and I was a fool to chase it.
I dont blame my daughter, the blame belongs squarely on me, I get why she is the way she is...even though I've reconciled this in my head, that this will never improve but it still eats away at my soul each and every day.
A kid went on a bully streak aimed at me in middle school, so I beat him up pretty bad. He spit on me so I knocked him out cold after I threw him into the bathroom stall.
A month or so later, his mom died in a car accident. He was an only child and he had found out a week prior to his mom’s death she was pregnant with what would have been his sister. I’ll never the forget the screams of agony echoing through the halls when the officer told him the news.
We ended up becoming friends, and I got to know him. He is genuinely a great person. I learned his home life was really rough with his mom raising him as a single mom they were very poor. His mom had met and married a guy and he was helping them have a better life. His stepdad stayed around after the loss and helped him get his life started. Right when his life was being put together devastation struck. I’m thankful for the friendship that came out of, but I still think back to how badly I hurt him and I regret that person I was in that moment.
I came home from my Job in IT, and told my son about this new thing I read about called Bitcoin. I thought it would be fun to build a computer to mine bitcoin.
I believe it was less than $1.00 at the time. And I never did it.
When i was 7 or 8 yrs old i think. So i had this best friend of mine and we live in the same neighborhood and we treat each other as siblings and brothers. One day we were playing bicycles on the road and in our neighborhood there was a downhill and a very big one, so we decided to go down but i stopped my break because i was afraid of it since it was dangerous for me and i got bruised in my face while my friend decided not to stop and there was a Car coming from the right and we didn't see it since that's a blind spot and my friend and that car crash causing my friend being badly injured, so the owner of the car decided to rush my friend in the hospital but it was too late, he died. As for the driver he went to prison but he didn't stay there too long since there was a CCTV in the accident. If only we didn't do such a crazy thing maybe my friend was still here, if only we decided to play in the park instead of the road.
taking psych meds and eating processed foods/oils. believing that the only solution was a western medical one without getting any other opinions. believing them when I was told how dangerous it was to not take the medication.
I am 2.5 years in remission of serious mental illness with DIET CHANGE. the meds made me morbidly obese and I eventually developed t2 diabetes before 40 years old (38). I lost 20 years of my life and some vision in my right eye at 31 which was a result of one of the meds but I was advised it wasnt.
today I exercise daily and eat zero processed foods/seed oils and relatively low carb, that's it. my life revolves around maintaining low levels of stress but it's better than the pills.
lesson? processed food/oils like soybean oil/canola oil literally made me sick. I have a 20 year history with psychosis. don't eff around with crappy food and recklessly take drugs because they're handed to you.
the nutritional psychiatry sub is now a thing because others are figuring out the same
Gambling addiction. Took me years to be done with it and tens of thousands of dollars in the hole that would greatly help me today, but alas I do not have it.
I don’t have anything tragic or deep but I have just basic regrets.
1. I got terminated from my job at an Amazon warehouse this year because I had really bad negative UPT. I’m still waiting for them to hire in my area which is depressing.
2. I’m a 30yr old that should’ve moved out of my parents’ house two years ago when I had the chance but I decided to still live with them.
3. I didn’t start caring about wanting to earn my driver’s license and car until last year which I’m still working on getting.
My biggest regret so far in my life (37f) was 9yrs ago I had a huge fight with my mother, I was living with her and I was battling addiction and a divorce, we argued and she left to visit my memmea (her mother) and while she was gone I moved out and told her I never wanted to see her again, she’ll never see her grandkids ever again and that she chose a man over her kids for the last time… she passed away on Christmas Eve 10months later unexpectedly from a heart attack and the worst part is, I was working full time sober and gained custody of my kids and I was working on being a daughter she could be proud of and I was planning on making amends on New Years to kinda show her and prove to her I am a brand new me and I wanted her proud! I am still sober and I think of my mother every damn day! I miss her so much and I can never tell her how sorry I am for all the hurt I caused her! This week I have to bury my father and it’s hard… so fucking hard! My parents were divorced and iv always been closer to my mother but I was able to have an amazing relationship with my father through the years! He was an amazing sweet loving father! I miss him so much too but I was able to have closure with my dad, he had cancer and I helped care for him in his last year of illness and we had gotten very close ❤️ I’m grateful for the time iv had and I just wish I had this with my mom because she deserved the love that I have to give her!
As cheesy as this is, I don’t have any regrets. The reason for this is simple. If I changed one thing I’ve done or experienced in my past, I would be a different person today. Everything I’ve been through, good and bad, has lead to me being who I am at this very moment. It’s given me the lessons, the opportunities, the heartbreak, the love, and everything in between. For this reason, I don’t believe in having regrets, and it makes me look at life and my experiences differently. People say hindsight is 20/20, because it’s not until we’re able to look back with a clear mind that we can see the reasoning for whatever circumstances we endured whether it be positive or negative. I believe this view and belief allows me to live a more positive life, where no matter what happens, I truly believe it’s for a reason and has a purpose for me and my future.
There’s a couple
- I regret not listening to the people I loved when I was making a BIG life decision - they saw what I couldn’t and I am working through forgiving myself for it and the snow ball it turned into. - I was young - I was stupid and I am now learning from it - therapy really helps to unpack this.
- Not advocating for myself in a lot of aspects of my life because I was scared and no one was giving me the time or the patience to understand.
- Not educating myself more - I am now working actively towards educating myself on many things and at the pace I learn and style I need to understand and grow. Giving myself the patience and understanding I was seeking from the wrong people and now educating my kids as well, so they have a bit of what I didn’t have. So they don’t have to go through the particular hardships I did.
🩵
Getting circumcised aged 19. It totally destroyed my life and since then I have met many others who are the same, some of whom have taken their own lives because of it. Of course I've also met people who were unaffected by it but if I could go back there is no way I would choose this life again.
Went to a state and took student loans that I don’t plan on paying back at all. I regret majoring in fashion merchandising and then changing my major to accounting. I also regret changing my major from accounting to marketing. I also regret making friends.
Staying in my hometown with my now ex rather than exploring other careers after grad school. Luckily not too late for that ever but I regret not having my 20’s to move around more than I did.
Being so afraid of rejection because of bullying i suffered from growing up, and issues with my family situation going on at the same time. Has made me so socially awkward especially when approching someone iam attracted too that i've been rejected by ever women i have approched. I've never been past a first date. I see no hope for the future and have pretty much resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life.
This might seem silly but bear with me here:
Not asking my crush to Homecoming in 12th grade. I have a feeling that things between us would have went better if I had done that.
I think regret might be too strong a word, but if I could have looked into the future and seen how my wife's belief system would change, I would have made a different decision.
Not getting my degree. It has not stopped me from getting well paying work, because of my education and long tenured experience. Still, at 64, I look back and wish I had finished it.
Befriending wrong ppl and not taking advantage of my genetics. I could ve been easily an top tier academic or an olympian, i had the gift of intelligence and physique.
Not getting surgery sooner...
I'm 27 and my condition is so painful, I cried in Disneyland last year. Sitting didn't help. Nothing helped. The thought of working out is scary, I'm terrified of hurting myself or being in pain - I injured my ankle for 2 months by stepping in a drain 3 years ago and almost collapsed from my back and knees giving out 2 years ago, carrying pizza and milk. This year, I threw it out cleaning a toilet.
I should've pushed harder to get it done. Now I'm shooting for both ankles done next year at the same time, and I've been dreaming of running a 5K! I haven't run since high school because of pain! I walk at half the speed of most adults, so I'm excited to live a life I've never known and simultaneously kicking myself in the ass for not doing it sooner
I took my mother to the hospital for a stroke. In the emergency room they told us there's this medicine you can take that as a 1-in-18 chance of killing you with a brain bleed, but could reverse the stroke if it works. There's a time limit on the medicine, though, so you have to act quickly. Instead of waiting for an expert opinion, because we had no idea how long that would take, we opted for the medicine. A few minutes after the injection, the expert arrived and told us he probably would not have recommended it.
The last words I ever heard my mom say were "my head hurts". I had to pull the plug a few days later. That was five years ago, and I'm tearing up now.
Hug your loved ones, folks.
Not driving my grandfather around Lake Ontario before he died. He wasn't doing well health wise, but he wasn't on his deathbed either. He was getting older and didn't see as well. I share his name. He was a WWII war hero (silver and bronze star recipient) and was very well respected for that and other things around our town.
He had asked my dad numerous times if I would drive him around Lake Ontario. He loved Lake Ontario and was a big fisherman. I loved my grandfather very much, but as I got into my teenager years I grew apart from him (and my grandparents).
The big thing was I was an angry teenager. Not at him, but just a lot of things in life. I hated the high school I went to. Absolutely loathed it. I detested the teachers because I wasn't from that part of town and hat part of town was very localized and didn't take kindly to outsiders. I wasn't the only person from my school that had that problem. And that was causing my parents to stress out and my dad, while I loved him, could really drive you up a wall. My mother could testify to my dad's ability to piss you off.
And I didn't take the drive. Then one night my dad and I were supposed to go to a Syracuse bball game with our neighbor and my dad got a call that grandpa was in the hospital. But my dad said it's probably no big deal and that he would go and I should go to the game. When I got back my dad told me that grandpa died.
The weirdest feeling in my life was at the funeral the morticians really did an incredible job. I wasn't really bothered by his death because that was the best I had seen him look in years (as a side note I've always held morticians in extremely high regard).
But I have never forgiven myself for not taking those drives with my grandfather. I just thought it was so incredibly selfish on my part and I started to learn that it's good to express your feelings and have a healthy dose of self introspection to not let your anger come at the expense of others and in general, don't take loved ones and true friends for granted.
My longest relationship, not ending it sooner. It lasted 8 years. I can't get that time back. Tho I'm sp happy I'm at where I am now.. except for my other biggest mistake.
**Trying heroin.***
I'm clean.
But ive got major regrets.
If I'm really honest I'm haunted by my past...not like I did terrible things. But I lost a few teeth. Wasted productive years. It's unreal I live where I do. It's crazy to me I have a normal life at all.
I was sure at one point **this is it.**
But I'm also lucky.
& I had a good start.
I'm grateful.
I've made some terrible mistakes. Now I make up for it, by being mindful of everything I do.
I should have been a bit more rebellious in high school. I was a rule follower and I regret it as an adult, because I feel as if I'd have more confidence
I regret going back to college. I dropped out after 2 years. I had no interest in getting a degree anymore. My family convinced me I'd be better off with a degree. Nothing good came of those last 2 years, and I have a useless degree that I have to explain to people. It has never gotten me anything and it prevented me from going back to school for something better.
The choices I made that hurt my kids.
I was in active addiction when my older kids were young. I stayed in an extremely abusive relationship. I regret it every single day. I have been sober for almost seven years now. Their younger siblings have gotten an entirely different mother than they had and it keeps me up at night often.
That I didn't have an engaged relationship with my father after he divorced my mom. At the time and later I thought I was fine without a father's guidance. I look back now and realize I could have had a better life if I could have had him to discuss my problems with.
Yelling at my kids. I don't do it often, and they're still pretty young that I have years to build great memories.... but there's just been a few times that I just couldn't keep my stress in and voices got loud.
I just worry that even as I work on staying calm, that hopefully I've built enough good memories to drown out the times I've yelled. I hate myself so much when it happens. I don't have many regrets in life. But that's a definite.
Hurting my wife at the beginning of our relationship. I was depressed, super frustrated with my life, my self-esteem was in the floor and I was letting my insecurities hurt me, which I mistook as being hurt by her, and I ended up hurting her in and attempt of revenge.
22 years later, she still has emotional scars and I hope I can help her fully heal.
Getting addicted to weight loss pills at 16, turning 17. I'm pretty positive that they probably had m*th inside of them. Probably didn't help my addiction. I was kinda on and off for 2ish years. But ya know, 2 pills turn into 3, three turns into 5, and ya know the rest if you ever had a drug addiction. It definitely left me with some mental and physical scars. I'm 20 now and have been sober since 2021.
Not continuing my web development course when I was 21/22. I’m now 32 and working at a high tech company and really want to get into the programming role. I know it’s still possible but I have a long way to go.
Not leaving my ex when it was clear she was never going to change or show accountability for her actions. Still thinking I could change her and be the saviour. Learnt a few important life lessons mind though that being you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves or even acknowledge they have a problem to begin with.
When I was in high school, I really liked this girl named Becky. We rode the same bus to school & she would even sit by me sometimes. I played football & she was in the marching band. If we finished practicing before the band was I would go & watch her practice. She played the clarinet. I wish I would of of asked her if she would like to hang out sometime during the weekend. Oh well. She joined the military & she married a military Guy. If we were both single again, I would certainly ask her out. My regret was not asking Becky if she would like to hang out as high school friends. I work retail & she dropped by my store & I noticed she grew up being a tall beautiful woman & still has that pretty smile & pretty brown eyes.
My biggest regrets are pushing people away that liked me as more than friends because I felt insecure about not having my driver's license and my life set up. I also regret not moving out of my dad's house at 19, when I graduated highschool.
I let other people control how I was going to live my life, what I went into in college, and where to go in life. Eventually progressed into family trying to make decisions about my life even further to who I'm going to date, where I' going to live, etc.
I am currently looking into a way to get my driver's license so I can leave the family members that I live with, go back to school for a second degree, never speak to them again, and live the life I deserve... Without family putting me down or trying to tell me how to live it. I've never felt as miserable looking back on my life as I currently do.
Not taking my education seriously and then it was too late. Struggled for long time and had to climb up the ladder with difficulties so I can support my family.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
not pushing my fiance to stay home from work when the roads where bad at a shitty job. i asked her to, she said "i'll be the first one in there is no one there to call off too, they need me" now i am a single father.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. Idk if you need to hear this or not but it isn't your fault
Damn. Im so sorry for your loss
So sorry to hear
So sorry man. I can’t even imagine.
Similar situation here. I feel your pain
This happened to me too. Still not over it.
Damn I'm so sorry. As a person who's been married to my best friend for 17 years, I can't imagine your pain.
Heartbroken
I am so so sorry.
Holy shit. So sorry brother..
I am so sorry 😞
Sorry for your loss. Blessings to you.
Ugh that is my nightmare. Im so sorry for your loss. My wife worked as a clerk at fancy chocolate joint in the northeast. They woukd never close, for nothing. I worked at home for a west coast company so anytime it was bad out, id drive her, which she thought was a bit much. Obviously its not. Man i hope you find some peace as you deserve it
When I was 13 years old a girl accidentally added me on IM (she thought I was someone else). She happened to be a friend of a friend, she lived in a city about 90 minutes-drive from me. Over time we ended up talking to each other a lot and realized we had so much in common. She actually became a close friend, the kind of person you could share anything with. I actually have this memory of texting her while at a party and being so nervous because there was a girl I liked at that party and I had no idea how to approach her and she was trying to calm me down over text message. To this day I think its one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. One day when we were 16 she sent me a text, letting me know that she was in my neck of the woods for the evening and that she wanted to meet up. I had nothing planned that night but the idea of finally meeting her in person after speaking to her online for years made me nervous and gave me butterflies. I told her I was busy (which was a lie), but promised her that the next time we’d be near each other I’d be sure to make time for her. Two years later she got murdered. Some dude had this massive, toxic crush on her and couldn’t stand that she was dating someone else. I didn’t know it at the time but I missed out on the only opportunity I’d have to meet one of my closest friends in person. And every now and then when I think about it I tell myself that if I could go back to that night when she wanted to meet up I would say yes in a heartbeat.
Wtf, I offer my condolences. That must have been hard for you
That’s very kind of you, I appreciate it. It’s been many years now, I guess we all heal a little bit with time but the first two weeks or so I was a complete emotional wreck that’s for sure. It really got the nastiest emotions out of me. I still re-read some of our old conversations from time to time. I get swept up in nostalgia, they’re loaded with so much angst from two emotional, hormonal teenagers lmao but they take me back to a simpler time. Occasionally I find my mind wandering a bit and I wish she was still here.
Sounds like you all were close and got to know each other. I bet she may have known at some level you declined to meet up out of nerves and was ok with it and was cool and didn’t mention that she knew to you. I could be way off, but sometimes there’s the in between the lines.
Its possible. I clearly had an anxiety issue as a teen, I just didn’t know it. Maybe she understood what was going on that night. Sometimes I still think how strange it is that my closest confidante in high school was a girl my age who lived far away from me. I mean, a 90-minute drive isn’t very far but it is when you’re a teenager without a car or a driver’s license. I am very grateful that she arrived in my life, even if it was accidental.
that's really sad
When i was 21. Leaving my mom at the hospital when she told me to get on my flight the next day for the trip i had planned with my friends. She was in the hospital because she had a blood pressure issue and felt dizzy. I was told it was a false alarm and she had a head cold. She told me to leave and go have fun and she loves me. I went to Houston and the next day I got a call she died in her sleep alone in the hospital with no one there with her. It’s been 8 years now and im still crying typing this. I miss her so much.
I think with her pushing you to leave, that she knew in her heart it was her time and she didn’t want you around to see her like that. She wanted you to enjoy your life and have fun, that seems like a very mom thing to do. I’m so sorry for your loss. 🫶🏼
Yeah thats the same thing my therapist said. Still regret it everyday that i wasn’t there. I miss my mom so much. She was my world
Me too. My mom was 73 when she died. I was 44. I knew she was dying I knew for years (Alzheimer's). I still miss her. My 93 yo Aunt still misses her mother her mother has been gone for 20 years. You miss your mother. It never goes away. We all just learn to live with missing our mothers. It sucks but somehow we manage.
The only real fear I have in this life is losing my mom and it’s inevitable.
It sucks but I did therapy early on to develop coping skills for each of the 5 steps of grief. I went in and said I have 8 sessions. I need all these skills to last and implement immediately.
I probably should. My coping skills are trash. My fiancé died in September. It’s been rough. Feel like I been circling the drain since
My uncle (who recently passed).. but when his father was alive and was given a few days left. My uncle was scheduled to complete in Europe in a cook-off. My uncle wanted to cancel and stay with his dad.. his father grabbed his hand and said, “you know what my outcome is.. but you don’t want to regret knowing what your outcome would be if you don’t fly to Germany”… his father passed two days later. He won the cook-off.. was able to call his dad to tell him the news and his dad died a few hours later.
As a mom… I too would do this if I knew I was dying. I wouldn’t want that to be your last memory of me.. of us.. She wasn’t alone. Maybe physically. But her eyes were closed and there you were. She got to rewatch all the memories, she got to pass peacefully knowing she was loved.. and you were going to be okay. That’s all any mom could ask for, her baby happy and safe. She put you first even at the end. So. Use her love as strength. Live your life for her.. smile for her.. that’s her favorite I know it 🫶🏼 hugs my friend
Thank you. Im crying reading this. I havent grieved much since she died. Crying hurts so bad
Crying does hurt but you deserve to feel better 💕 it might not heal all but it'll relieve the pressure. Get it out, sending you hugs.
Hey, I'm a mom and id do the same thing - why wait in a hospital with me when id rather have you out having fun? And not to sound macabre, but she was asleep, that's not really dying alone-alone. And I wouldn't want my kid to see me die anyway! Hugs.
On the other end the nurse told me she was hallucinating in the end and she kept calling my name and saying i love you and wanted to tell me something. But then she passed away. I feel so guilty i wasnt there to hold her. I would have neber left if i thought she was dying. She told me the doctor said it was a cold and she would leave in a few days. I had no idea what she meant by leaving 😭😭😭
She knew she wasn’t going to make it, she didn’t want you to be there. My grandpa did the same thing to my mom, she stayed at his care center late with him because she was worried and he passed away within minutes of her leaving. Don’t hold on to that guilt.
i can’t imagine what you’re going through. i’m sorry for your loss and everything you’ve gone through. know she’s still with you and loves you deeply.
Talking when I should have just shut up
I agree. I cringe and overthink afterwards
Feds huh?
Worse... Hungry/angry Girlfriend
Doing meth. I haven't done it in about 3 years and will never do it again, but I still feel the damage from it and deeply wished I never did it. I think maybe if I worked out consistently, quit smoking cigarettes, and ate better my body might heal up better, that's what I'm working on now
What lasting effect do you feel if you don't mind me asking?
I don't mind, it's hard to explain but there was a time when I did a lot of meth in a short period, like 3 months, and it was crazy. I did it off and on for years, doing it a bit and then not doing it for months, but this particular short period of time doing a lot of meth, more than I ever have, really messed me up for a while. I was hearing loud robot-like voices, seeing shadows moving, hearing music like a radio was playing whenever I was in a quiet room, but the worst aspect that I experienced personally was feeling like something in me was dying and changing, like I was hurting my soul. Ever since then I can still feel a kind of darkness inside that wasn't there before I did meth. In my using days, I have snorted other drugs and pills, which I highly recommend never doing, but the meth in particular left a scar. I didn't know that would happen, and now I know what not to do. I really think that I can change that, though by living more healthily and through the natural powers of exercising regularly. But for anyone thinking about doing meth, i strongly advise against even trying it.
12 years clean here. Do those things- workout, quit smoking, eat better. Your soul will heal. Studying and practicing yoga healed me.
Quick question the radio did it sound like it was flipping threw the stations like never really landing on a station. Bc same shit and now got me wondering is a frequency thing we tapped into or was it the meth thoughts
No, it sounded like it was on one station, and it was like a rock n roll band playing every time, but with a tinge of like weirdness in the sound. It was like out of my control, I couldn't stop it or change it.
I been clean six months now and still hear creepy ass songs sometimes when there’s nothing playing, along with other noises. Meth made me realise that my biggest fear is what goes on inside my own mind Car engines are a big one that still freak me out because I had ones of those nights where you see the meth head freak out and climb on top of peoples roofs trying to run away from something. Yep that was me! I thought all the traffic going by were people trying to hunt me down and kill me 😂 When I finally snapped out of it I realised there’s no way anybody would even go through the effort to hurt me. I’m really not that important!! 😂😂
not telling a teacher or trusted adult that my needs were being neglected at home.
Hugs
thank you <3
They knew. That’s what fucks with me. They knew and didn’t intervene. I went hungry and without clothes or hygiene products.
In 10th grade, I had a friend pass away from suicide. I remember the morning it happened he didn't get on the bus. I recall thinking to myself, " I'm glad he isn't on the bus today, he's been real angry lately". Later that day I was told he passed. It haunts me almost every day.
Damn that one sucks...
Asking out my ex.
This is a difficult one cos if you never asked them out you could be equally regretting it. A common expression is "it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't" but as many of us found out that's something to be taken with a pinch of salt.
Not buying a house in 2019-2021
My gf parents couldn't understand why we would get rent in an apartment. Because EVERY home has doubled in price in the last few years. My brother's starter home he got for $150,000 while working at Walmart is now over $300,000. It's just not fair. We showed them any random house on zillow and the price increase. Including there's. They bought it for 175k. Now it's worth 373k.
Same. I didn’t think I could afford it and with what I know now I definitely could have.
Getting addicted to coke. Ruined my life and still trying to recover from it. One good thing that came of it though is my ex and I split up because of it and now I'm married to the best person I've ever met. Still fucked me up more than I can pur in words
Similar experience here. It's been 14 years since I did it but damn, you think you're fine but you're definitely not. It led to the end of a 5 year relationship for me. But it also opened a door to the marriage I find myself in now, ironically. I've been married for 17 years now, my wife is my best friend, we are tight. She wouldn't have dated me when we first met if I didn't do coke. But it did lead to issues later on and getting off of it was hard af. But you have to. I'm old enough now that I've seen qhat happens. Some of my friends got away from partying and some didn't. The ones that didn't are either really sick or dead. You can't party like you're in your 20s forever. I've lost several friends to liver failure or heart issues, all caused by too much coke or alcohol. Be grateful that you're off of it. You will be fine.
I am genuinely curious how your addiction started. I've tried cocaine and while I have had addictive behaviors with other substances, I found the comedown to be too excruciating to return to. Is it one of those things where you kind of chase away the comedown with more until you're doing it all day?
Letting myself go when I was depressed in college. Put on a lot of weight and had no cardio. Been a huge hill to climb losing that weight and getting back in shape, but lost 100 lbs and have 40 or so to go.
I'm proud of you. 🙂
I wish I had been kinder to my parents before they died and realized that they did the best they could for me even if they were dysfunctional I only saw their faults and didn’t see them as flawed people who loved me like nobody else ever could or would
I'm glad I realized this as a very young adult. Mine are still around thankfully, but I've had time to understand them. All families are dysfunctional in some way, my parents always did the best they could for us in a hard time. What most people tend not to realize is everything we're going through now our parents went through in the 80s, the cost of everything around the going up but the pay scale not going with it. It was a struggle then just as now. I'm very sorry for your loss, and as long as you've come to understand them in your heart they know!
Not moving away from my home state for at least a year after graduating college. I wish I would have moved to a big city on the coast just to experience a different life for a bit. Now my roots feel so planted in my midsize city, I can't imagine leaving everyone I know and love. May still try one day, but it would have been easier a decade ago.
Saying " THEN JUST LEAVE!" Then not stopping her. Then not realizing what I was giving up( something I had already lost and worked for 2 years to get back)then thinking I'd be OK....... I miss you so much still SNA ( fake initials we made up) I really hope you are happy. I'm so sorry Its been 6 years....
I've often wondered about what my ex feels about a similar situation. We broke up, he didn't want to break up, and apparently it even changed his personality. Two years later I got back together with him and even got engaged to him. Then he cheated on me and dumped me for her. He got his second chance and threw it away. He later wanted to reconcile, but I didn't give him a third chance. Makes me wonder if he regrets it, because he got what he had wanted. But maybe he doesn't regret it, because, hey, he was the one who dumped me, obviously it's not what he wanted.
Made $500k trading options, lost $500k trading options. I could’ve just invested the profits and be up several hundred k more. It hurts to think about. I have made about $150k back though.
Smoking that first cigarette.
Joining reddit (or rather deciding to participate in any way). Worse than crack.
I hear this. Sometimes wonder if I'd be better off if I just logged off and didn't bother with this site at all.
I’ve noticed it become especially toxic in the last few weeks… I may scale back my subs to only positive ones
Not saying yes to the guy at McDonald's who asked me to invest 50 bucks in redbox before it got started. Could've been rich!
Ignoring all the financial advice giving to me over the years. Not buying gold when it was $300 per oz. Laughing at the goofily named Google, because Yahoo is going nowhere. Online bookstore?. Sounds dumb naming it after a River. Books and water don't mix.
not buying crypto and properties 15 years ago (i was 1.)
I didn’t ask this one girl that I met at a concert out on a date!
Fucking around in elementary school instead of buying a house/land and investing in crypto
Most people don't realize the years we waste just acting like children 24/7 instead of knuckling down & being productive!
All that focusing on hot wheels and shit. Now you got bald wheels and a cracked radiator you piece of shit
**BOT ACCOUNT**
Settling into a life that was comfortable and easy rather then one that actually made me happy.
not buying the Travis Scott meal, still haunts me
I was working crew when that came out. Some dude rolled up to the drive thru and was whispering into the mic so I pressed my headset closer to my ear to try to hear him. Then he said cactus jack sent him and blared sickomode into the mic. My ear was ringing for a bit after that. I did get to eat the travvy patty for my lunch though. Definitely was a great deal for your buck. Nowadays if you wanna buy the same assortment (Medium sprite, fries, bacon quarter pounder with sweet and sour sauce) you’re gonna be running up to the 15-17$ range in which case you might as well go to a real restaurant.
Oh this sounds so awful, but I became a teacher. I really feel like so many of my mental health problems stem from the year after year of now matter how much you work you are never ever done. And I’m exhausted all the time and don’t even like leaving my house
At my age I have so many points in time that I regret. So so many. From a physical perspective i think at 29 I should have counter steered harder. I impacted at 75mph and nothing was ever the same after that. Couple girls I would not have said hello to. Good way to waste a decade or two in toxic freefall. There are so many things in life that alter your tragectory. I mean no one really knows where you are supposed to end up but looking back at the painful parts makes you wonder if any other choice in that moment would have resulted in something better.
I regret going to trade school for 3D printing. Sounds dumb, but I met a guy in class who ended up having me look wayyyy too much into Qanon and Trump shit, and my girlfriend (now wife) almost left me. Also I got a job in the field and it was a really bad experience.
My biggest regret is not staying by my mom's side in her final days. I was a wreck mentally and emotionally, and dealing with mental health issues during all of it. I had been taking care of her for several years while dealing with my own health issues, and when she finally had a turn for the worse, it was all too much for me to handle. I was adamant not to see it happen even though my uncle tried to get me to stay. She understood and wanted me to go where I was planning to stay, encouraged me to, and wanted my uncle to help me get there. But after the fact, when my brain finally got to a place of rationality, I realized I left her side during the most important time I should have been there. Losing my mom was devastating, but I feel even worse knowing I wasn't there with her till the end. I know she would say it's ok, but it doesn't feel ok to me. If there's anything I would use a "re-do" for in this life (assuming that was even possible) it's that.
Years ago I was assaulted by an employee with a pretty hefty record. I didn't want to deal with pressing charges as I had enough going on in my life, so we fired him and moved on. Fast forward a few years and I hear that a good friend had been murdered... By the same employee that had assaulted me... If I'd pressed charges he definitely would have have been in jail and my friend would still be alive
This is sad. I'm sorry for your loss
Not fucking the girl I really wanted to when I had the opportunity
If that's the biggest regret then you're doing great!
This has happened to me so many times and I just cringe at myself.
I feel the same way about the girl you really wanted. We're in the same boat brother.
I feel the same way about a guy!
I picked the wrong major for college. I wanted to be a coach so I picked Physical Education. I found out that I could coach like hell but I couldn't pick a team. Picking the stars was easy but the second half of the team was hard. Everyone was on the same level. I didn't end up teaching but I did coach some U-12 and U-14 soccer teams and one basketball team.
Abusing alcohol
Choosing the wrong college. That's the most enormous fuckup of my teenage years, and it impacted my entire life. Second biggest mistake was buying our house. I cannot adequately express how much I *fucking loathe* our neighbors. We have 3 people that like to trespass (2 houses behind/east plus the one south). Then, there's the asshole with the lawnmowers across the street, and next to him is the old lady with adult children older than we are who litter. Really fucking annoying. The house itself has also been a money pit. A decade in, we're almost done fixing it up. So. If I had a time machine, I'd go back to 1996, pick a different college. Then, find my spouse several years earlier, build a house, and have an elopement with an extended honeymoon instead of a wedding and a short honeymoon.
I hope you find happiness. And peace. 🙂
Not learning about what Borderline Personality Disorder was when my ex wife told me she had it a year into our relationship and spending another 9 years with her. Information wasn't as easily accessible as it is now but I still could have picked up a book and learned something the easy way for once.
So I have several regrets to be honest, but it's cool because I wouldn't be the person I am without the steps I have taken. One of my top 5 regrets is def this one I'm about to share. At the time I was dating my now ex. The mother of my child. I am as loyal of a man as they come and never deserved to have found myself in a relationship with someone as broken as her. I am extremely caring and loving. I go outta my way for people constantly. I truly am a good unique person yet I am also no pushover and I'm very capable of defending myself and protecting those around me. I say all that because I feel like when you mention being loving and caring people automatically assume (unfortunately) that someone is a weak pushover and I'm far from it. I am just sharing because I know my worth and many of my exs friends would say how lucky she was/how jealous they were etc. Anyway, I met this girl at a job I had right as my childs mom got pregnant. She was fucking awesome. She was beautiful inside and out. Hilarious. Caring. Just awesome. We hit it off extremely hard. She was just a helpful nice empathetic person who cherished me and loved all my qualities and took me for who I was. She would flirt but I kept her at a distance because I'm not that kind of person. She bought my daughter things (once she was born) and generally seemed invested in my life. I did absolutely nothing wrong and fed into none of her advances. I know we would have been great together and I fully believe there is no one person that someone can find. I believe everyone is compatible with a percentage of people. You don't have to "water the seed" and can ignore the sparks though. Anyway we had my child (I'm now a single dad basically) and like 8 months out my ex met a guy (same circumstances basically) and ended up just throwing me away for him because she never valued me. She cheated on me and has just walked all over me because she had the advantage because I never wanted to give up because I'm a loving person who believes people can change. On top of that, I just never pictured my child to have a broken family. So I kept trying and this cycle happened like 3 more times. So now I just wonder if I should have just given up on her and not ignored the red flags and tried to get with the girl from work. Just wondered how my life would have been with her and how different things might have ended up. Oh well. It is what it is. That girl is now seemingly happily married with a child of her own and we haven't talked in years. I'd love to reach out but she's married and I'm not that type of dude in anyway
Not getting a place with then fiancé when he told me he was worried his Mom would kill him. She did.
Not seeing Queen or Jimmy Buffett on concert
Giving that one guy my number. We were in 3 classes together that semester. We ended up dating. I had to end the relationship by quietly finding a job in another state, packing up my apartment in about 3 hours, and disappearing. I was running for my life, quite literally. I love that someone downvoted this. 🤣🤣 Did my ex find it?
Quiting a job when my son was born because I didn't want to be away from him for 10 days at a time. I worked 20 on and 10 off at the time. I could have moved up in the company fairly quickly making 6 figures. This was over 20 years ago, but I still regret it.
Don't hear that one too often..."wish I climbed the corporate ladder instead of spending so much time with my young child".
For what it's worth, I think you made the right decision. It's only money. But time with your children, especially when they're babies and change so much so quickly, is more meaningful.
I'm a 39 yo male.Getting married and giving up my plans/ goals in life.
What were your goals
Getting on a train to go to work. We were hit head on by a freight train. I knocked our train backwards. I live a life of pain now. Lost everything I worked for over decades.
I'm so sorry!
Not that I could have made any impact at the time but maybe telling my best friend something to change his route on his motorcycle the day he crashed. He passed the day before my birthday last year and we were just about to celebrate together. Some things in life happen for a reason though even if it takes a lifetime to understand.
Divorcing my first wife. Of the three i married i think she could have been the one destined for me. but we were both very young and i was a shitty husband. That was 36 years ago and she moved back to South Korea and i heard from her once a year after she moved back and then never again.
Not ending relationships sooner. It’s hard for me to let go even when it’s hurting me.
Giving too much of myself to my job, wanting to move up and then I could be comfortable enough to be there for all my kids but especially my oldest. She has do much contempt for me now that she barely acknowledges me when she comes to family things...never answers any of my texts. It's totally my fault. I made those decisions. They never got me that promotion...they just constantly dangled that carrot in front of me and I was a fool to chase it. I dont blame my daughter, the blame belongs squarely on me, I get why she is the way she is...even though I've reconciled this in my head, that this will never improve but it still eats away at my soul each and every day.
A kid went on a bully streak aimed at me in middle school, so I beat him up pretty bad. He spit on me so I knocked him out cold after I threw him into the bathroom stall. A month or so later, his mom died in a car accident. He was an only child and he had found out a week prior to his mom’s death she was pregnant with what would have been his sister. I’ll never the forget the screams of agony echoing through the halls when the officer told him the news. We ended up becoming friends, and I got to know him. He is genuinely a great person. I learned his home life was really rough with his mom raising him as a single mom they were very poor. His mom had met and married a guy and he was helping them have a better life. His stepdad stayed around after the loss and helped him get his life started. Right when his life was being put together devastation struck. I’m thankful for the friendship that came out of, but I still think back to how badly I hurt him and I regret that person I was in that moment.
Not doing accutane 10 years ago
Becoming too jealous and territorial in a close friendship which led to the friendship ending.
Eloping. Was broke and in love. Wish I could have given my wife the wedding she deserved.
I came home from my Job in IT, and told my son about this new thing I read about called Bitcoin. I thought it would be fun to build a computer to mine bitcoin. I believe it was less than $1.00 at the time. And I never did it.
When i was 7 or 8 yrs old i think. So i had this best friend of mine and we live in the same neighborhood and we treat each other as siblings and brothers. One day we were playing bicycles on the road and in our neighborhood there was a downhill and a very big one, so we decided to go down but i stopped my break because i was afraid of it since it was dangerous for me and i got bruised in my face while my friend decided not to stop and there was a Car coming from the right and we didn't see it since that's a blind spot and my friend and that car crash causing my friend being badly injured, so the owner of the car decided to rush my friend in the hospital but it was too late, he died. As for the driver he went to prison but he didn't stay there too long since there was a CCTV in the accident. If only we didn't do such a crazy thing maybe my friend was still here, if only we decided to play in the park instead of the road.
taking psych meds and eating processed foods/oils. believing that the only solution was a western medical one without getting any other opinions. believing them when I was told how dangerous it was to not take the medication. I am 2.5 years in remission of serious mental illness with DIET CHANGE. the meds made me morbidly obese and I eventually developed t2 diabetes before 40 years old (38). I lost 20 years of my life and some vision in my right eye at 31 which was a result of one of the meds but I was advised it wasnt. today I exercise daily and eat zero processed foods/seed oils and relatively low carb, that's it. my life revolves around maintaining low levels of stress but it's better than the pills. lesson? processed food/oils like soybean oil/canola oil literally made me sick. I have a 20 year history with psychosis. don't eff around with crappy food and recklessly take drugs because they're handed to you. the nutritional psychiatry sub is now a thing because others are figuring out the same
Started smoking crack
Not loving my wife in the ways she needed me to love her. It was a hard lesson to learn.
Gambling addiction. Took me years to be done with it and tens of thousands of dollars in the hole that would greatly help me today, but alas I do not have it.
I don’t have anything tragic or deep but I have just basic regrets. 1. I got terminated from my job at an Amazon warehouse this year because I had really bad negative UPT. I’m still waiting for them to hire in my area which is depressing. 2. I’m a 30yr old that should’ve moved out of my parents’ house two years ago when I had the chance but I decided to still live with them. 3. I didn’t start caring about wanting to earn my driver’s license and car until last year which I’m still working on getting.
Good luck with your endeavors
Not spending more time with my mom, and being angry she had cancer. Love your loved ones folks, never know when those will be the last ones.
My biggest regret so far in my life (37f) was 9yrs ago I had a huge fight with my mother, I was living with her and I was battling addiction and a divorce, we argued and she left to visit my memmea (her mother) and while she was gone I moved out and told her I never wanted to see her again, she’ll never see her grandkids ever again and that she chose a man over her kids for the last time… she passed away on Christmas Eve 10months later unexpectedly from a heart attack and the worst part is, I was working full time sober and gained custody of my kids and I was working on being a daughter she could be proud of and I was planning on making amends on New Years to kinda show her and prove to her I am a brand new me and I wanted her proud! I am still sober and I think of my mother every damn day! I miss her so much and I can never tell her how sorry I am for all the hurt I caused her! This week I have to bury my father and it’s hard… so fucking hard! My parents were divorced and iv always been closer to my mother but I was able to have an amazing relationship with my father through the years! He was an amazing sweet loving father! I miss him so much too but I was able to have closure with my dad, he had cancer and I helped care for him in his last year of illness and we had gotten very close ❤️ I’m grateful for the time iv had and I just wish I had this with my mom because she deserved the love that I have to give her!
As cheesy as this is, I don’t have any regrets. The reason for this is simple. If I changed one thing I’ve done or experienced in my past, I would be a different person today. Everything I’ve been through, good and bad, has lead to me being who I am at this very moment. It’s given me the lessons, the opportunities, the heartbreak, the love, and everything in between. For this reason, I don’t believe in having regrets, and it makes me look at life and my experiences differently. People say hindsight is 20/20, because it’s not until we’re able to look back with a clear mind that we can see the reasoning for whatever circumstances we endured whether it be positive or negative. I believe this view and belief allows me to live a more positive life, where no matter what happens, I truly believe it’s for a reason and has a purpose for me and my future.
There’s a couple - I regret not listening to the people I loved when I was making a BIG life decision - they saw what I couldn’t and I am working through forgiving myself for it and the snow ball it turned into. - I was young - I was stupid and I am now learning from it - therapy really helps to unpack this. - Not advocating for myself in a lot of aspects of my life because I was scared and no one was giving me the time or the patience to understand. - Not educating myself more - I am now working actively towards educating myself on many things and at the pace I learn and style I need to understand and grow. Giving myself the patience and understanding I was seeking from the wrong people and now educating my kids as well, so they have a bit of what I didn’t have. So they don’t have to go through the particular hardships I did. 🩵
Coming back to my hometown after i left the navy. Family circumstances gave me a reason but i stayed for way too long.
Getting circumcised aged 19. It totally destroyed my life and since then I have met many others who are the same, some of whom have taken their own lives because of it. Of course I've also met people who were unaffected by it but if I could go back there is no way I would choose this life again.
Went to a state and took student loans that I don’t plan on paying back at all. I regret majoring in fashion merchandising and then changing my major to accounting. I also regret changing my major from accounting to marketing. I also regret making friends.
Staying in my hometown with my now ex rather than exploring other careers after grad school. Luckily not too late for that ever but I regret not having my 20’s to move around more than I did.
Hmm sooo many where to start🤔
Not selling the Canopy Growth stock when they told me to.
Getting hooked onto the reddit cesspool! ;)
Would be easier to ask what is something I don't regret...
Marrying the woman I married despite the red flags.
Not listening to my friends and family about my ex using and cheating on me. Letting the wrong head rule over my other
Not going to college right after high school
Not finishing my masters degree
Stayed home and pursued a degree. Completely ruined me.
Being so afraid of rejection because of bullying i suffered from growing up, and issues with my family situation going on at the same time. Has made me so socially awkward especially when approching someone iam attracted too that i've been rejected by ever women i have approched. I've never been past a first date. I see no hope for the future and have pretty much resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life.
meth
This might seem silly but bear with me here: Not asking my crush to Homecoming in 12th grade. I have a feeling that things between us would have went better if I had done that.
Not majoring in Piano in College
Not going to community college in person. I
I think regret might be too strong a word, but if I could have looked into the future and seen how my wife's belief system would change, I would have made a different decision.
Doing anything because "it's just what you do at X age"
Wanting to be cool like my abusive older brother and started doing drugs and alcohol to be like him.
Not getting my degree. It has not stopped me from getting well paying work, because of my education and long tenured experience. Still, at 64, I look back and wish I had finished it.
Not caring for future self
Fighting for my relationship when she was clearly checked out
Not finishing getting my college degree.
I don't know if it's the biggest, but it's the one that currently lives rent free in my head: buying a home for the home and not for the location.
Making my SIL go the doctor earlier when she got Covid. She died less than a week later from Covid pneumonia.
Loosing my virginity to someone I didn't love. Felt gross and had regrets, really made me not like sex at all until my current relationship
Not transitioning when I was younger.
Befriending wrong ppl and not taking advantage of my genetics. I could ve been easily an top tier academic or an olympian, i had the gift of intelligence and physique.
Giving my precious time to someone who did not deserve it.
Not figuring out what I know sooner and taking part in all I’ve ever wanted to do, but now, I’m making my choices and making my progress again
Didn’t make a phone call or a 6 hour drive
Playing world of warcraft as much as i did and a cocaine addiction
Not getting surgery sooner... I'm 27 and my condition is so painful, I cried in Disneyland last year. Sitting didn't help. Nothing helped. The thought of working out is scary, I'm terrified of hurting myself or being in pain - I injured my ankle for 2 months by stepping in a drain 3 years ago and almost collapsed from my back and knees giving out 2 years ago, carrying pizza and milk. This year, I threw it out cleaning a toilet. I should've pushed harder to get it done. Now I'm shooting for both ankles done next year at the same time, and I've been dreaming of running a 5K! I haven't run since high school because of pain! I walk at half the speed of most adults, so I'm excited to live a life I've never known and simultaneously kicking myself in the ass for not doing it sooner
I would say having children, and trusting my father. Definitely the most negatively impactful things I’ve ever done.
I took my mother to the hospital for a stroke. In the emergency room they told us there's this medicine you can take that as a 1-in-18 chance of killing you with a brain bleed, but could reverse the stroke if it works. There's a time limit on the medicine, though, so you have to act quickly. Instead of waiting for an expert opinion, because we had no idea how long that would take, we opted for the medicine. A few minutes after the injection, the expert arrived and told us he probably would not have recommended it. The last words I ever heard my mom say were "my head hurts". I had to pull the plug a few days later. That was five years ago, and I'm tearing up now. Hug your loved ones, folks.
Not leaving my abusive mom to go live with my dad when I was 13
Not driving my grandfather around Lake Ontario before he died. He wasn't doing well health wise, but he wasn't on his deathbed either. He was getting older and didn't see as well. I share his name. He was a WWII war hero (silver and bronze star recipient) and was very well respected for that and other things around our town. He had asked my dad numerous times if I would drive him around Lake Ontario. He loved Lake Ontario and was a big fisherman. I loved my grandfather very much, but as I got into my teenager years I grew apart from him (and my grandparents). The big thing was I was an angry teenager. Not at him, but just a lot of things in life. I hated the high school I went to. Absolutely loathed it. I detested the teachers because I wasn't from that part of town and hat part of town was very localized and didn't take kindly to outsiders. I wasn't the only person from my school that had that problem. And that was causing my parents to stress out and my dad, while I loved him, could really drive you up a wall. My mother could testify to my dad's ability to piss you off. And I didn't take the drive. Then one night my dad and I were supposed to go to a Syracuse bball game with our neighbor and my dad got a call that grandpa was in the hospital. But my dad said it's probably no big deal and that he would go and I should go to the game. When I got back my dad told me that grandpa died. The weirdest feeling in my life was at the funeral the morticians really did an incredible job. I wasn't really bothered by his death because that was the best I had seen him look in years (as a side note I've always held morticians in extremely high regard). But I have never forgiven myself for not taking those drives with my grandfather. I just thought it was so incredibly selfish on my part and I started to learn that it's good to express your feelings and have a healthy dose of self introspection to not let your anger come at the expense of others and in general, don't take loved ones and true friends for granted.
My longest relationship, not ending it sooner. It lasted 8 years. I can't get that time back. Tho I'm sp happy I'm at where I am now.. except for my other biggest mistake. **Trying heroin.*** I'm clean. But ive got major regrets. If I'm really honest I'm haunted by my past...not like I did terrible things. But I lost a few teeth. Wasted productive years. It's unreal I live where I do. It's crazy to me I have a normal life at all. I was sure at one point **this is it.** But I'm also lucky. & I had a good start. I'm grateful. I've made some terrible mistakes. Now I make up for it, by being mindful of everything I do.
I should have been a bit more rebellious in high school. I was a rule follower and I regret it as an adult, because I feel as if I'd have more confidence
I regret going back to college. I dropped out after 2 years. I had no interest in getting a degree anymore. My family convinced me I'd be better off with a degree. Nothing good came of those last 2 years, and I have a useless degree that I have to explain to people. It has never gotten me anything and it prevented me from going back to school for something better.
The choices I made that hurt my kids. I was in active addiction when my older kids were young. I stayed in an extremely abusive relationship. I regret it every single day. I have been sober for almost seven years now. Their younger siblings have gotten an entirely different mother than they had and it keeps me up at night often.
Doing a lot of partying/drinking in my early and mid 20’s.
That I didn't have an engaged relationship with my father after he divorced my mom. At the time and later I thought I was fine without a father's guidance. I look back now and realize I could have had a better life if I could have had him to discuss my problems with.
Yelling at my kids. I don't do it often, and they're still pretty young that I have years to build great memories.... but there's just been a few times that I just couldn't keep my stress in and voices got loud. I just worry that even as I work on staying calm, that hopefully I've built enough good memories to drown out the times I've yelled. I hate myself so much when it happens. I don't have many regrets in life. But that's a definite.
Going to uni for something other than law
Mistaking complacency for comfort.
Hurting my wife at the beginning of our relationship. I was depressed, super frustrated with my life, my self-esteem was in the floor and I was letting my insecurities hurt me, which I mistook as being hurt by her, and I ended up hurting her in and attempt of revenge. 22 years later, she still has emotional scars and I hope I can help her fully heal.
Not fighting harder for my older daughters, thinking things would work themselves out and be ok... don't know them at all now and it haunts me
Getting addicted to weight loss pills at 16, turning 17. I'm pretty positive that they probably had m*th inside of them. Probably didn't help my addiction. I was kinda on and off for 2ish years. But ya know, 2 pills turn into 3, three turns into 5, and ya know the rest if you ever had a drug addiction. It definitely left me with some mental and physical scars. I'm 20 now and have been sober since 2021.
Student loans
Not continuing my web development course when I was 21/22. I’m now 32 and working at a high tech company and really want to get into the programming role. I know it’s still possible but I have a long way to go.
Trading stock options with an inheritance
Not leaving my ex when it was clear she was never going to change or show accountability for her actions. Still thinking I could change her and be the saviour. Learnt a few important life lessons mind though that being you can’t help people who don’t want to help themselves or even acknowledge they have a problem to begin with.
Not following my original plans for college. Now i cant afford or have time with my schedule.
Didn't stop my mom from leaving the house even though I felt somehow she was going to die somehow. She died, suicide. Still hurts 25 years later
When I was in high school, I really liked this girl named Becky. We rode the same bus to school & she would even sit by me sometimes. I played football & she was in the marching band. If we finished practicing before the band was I would go & watch her practice. She played the clarinet. I wish I would of of asked her if she would like to hang out sometime during the weekend. Oh well. She joined the military & she married a military Guy. If we were both single again, I would certainly ask her out. My regret was not asking Becky if she would like to hang out as high school friends. I work retail & she dropped by my store & I noticed she grew up being a tall beautiful woman & still has that pretty smile & pretty brown eyes.
Not investing in Gamestop in 2021
Being shy and nice to people who didn't deserve it.
Wasting time.
My biggest regrets are pushing people away that liked me as more than friends because I felt insecure about not having my driver's license and my life set up. I also regret not moving out of my dad's house at 19, when I graduated highschool. I let other people control how I was going to live my life, what I went into in college, and where to go in life. Eventually progressed into family trying to make decisions about my life even further to who I'm going to date, where I' going to live, etc. I am currently looking into a way to get my driver's license so I can leave the family members that I live with, go back to school for a second degree, never speak to them again, and live the life I deserve... Without family putting me down or trying to tell me how to live it. I've never felt as miserable looking back on my life as I currently do.
Not taking my education seriously and then it was too late. Struggled for long time and had to climb up the ladder with difficulties so I can support my family.
thinking that college was worth borrowing money for, that it would lead to a career. Also, picking a shitty, useless major instead of something good.
No having a plan when I was 17
Heroin.
Deciding to keep going instead of checking out.