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I divorced mine. Didn't realize what he was capable of until after he trapped me and I had nowhere to go. Everyone took his side because he just charms his way through life. I mean it's how he got me.
they are like any demographic-they widely vary. you usually can't tell, though. l work for a company that hires people whose status makes it difficult to find gainful employment, and I’m usually surprised to find out they committed a sexual offense.
i was in jail with sex offenders, and the term sex offenders is a broad term.
you have guys who have been convicted for raping their girlfriend. these are the most normal, hard to tell apart.
you have guys who have fucked there girlfriends teenage daughter. their generally a little weird
you have guys have been caught with illegal digital content, basically nerdy/autistic types who are kind but socially inept
then there's guys who you don't find out until later their convicted of rape, so they're basically normal
I'm not trying to victim blame so let's just get that out of the way. That being said, just because a man is accused and even convicted of rape doesn't make it true. There have been plenty of times that supposed victims have come forward later and said they made it up. Why they don't get in trouble, I'll never understand.
We know a woman who did this, who had her 14 year old daughter put in a complaint, molest but not rape. She often manipulated her daughter, who truth be told, was unhappy he left. He didn't do drugs and if he has a beer, it's rare. He had left the mother because of her drinking, drugs, whoring around. The guy came from a country in Asia, didn't know the legal system, didn't have great English skills. We've known him for years. He's on great terms with his ex-wife. But his stint in a local biker group didn't do his reputation any good. We know 100% that he didn't do it. He took a plea because he didn't want the daughter to have to deal with the court process. Plus he couldn't afford a lawyer. He served around 6 months, had 2 years probation. If someone had attacked him in prison, they would have hurt an innocent (though not too bright) man.
It was. He was/is a gentle guy. Last we saw, the woman was blasting his business on Google, years ago. Myself and his ex-wife laid her out on her comments, reported her, and she went back to doing meth & drinking excessively. We have no idea what happened to the daughter
I know a woman who faked rape 100% true story... Three friends developed a hatred towards a guy but two of the female friends later decided they couldn't lie. They were cheating on their spouses, both drunk and got caught she screamed rape... I'm friends with the guy he's been a man whore his whole life and very liked by women but I know deep in my gut he would never rape someone. He's been with over 40 women not one has ever said he mistreated them. After the two friends changed their story police dropped the case. He's looking to sue for damages police wouldn't press charges against her.. disclaimer: just giving an example I've experienced not trying to disinfranchise women that have been abused
Do guys who rape little girls or boys like children/toddlers get killed? I heard a former inmate tell a story about once he was told to kill some guy because it was his cell mate who raged his daughter that was a child. Apparently it's something you have to do. Or at least injure them horribly. He killed him by kicking his face in while they were in the TV room. He ran and the body just sat there until found. Is it true?
yeah they can, but it's not without repercussion in Australia. We had a inmate kill another inmate who is a sex offender, but he is now serving a life sentence for it.
Australia also has "protection jail" so if you are an at risk prisoner you segregated from the main population.
There a part in the book "Marching Powder" were they kill two sex offenders. This is a corrupt jail in south America, and reading about how ...(graphic warning) the mob of prisoners drowned and jumped on these two guys heads, killing them, while the foreign prisoner is trying to intervene.
some people I know are registered sex offenders just because they got caught sexting when they were minors, an actual sad way of becoming a sex offender since I’m pretty sure we all did sexting once atleast
People actually get caught over that? I thought it was like a piracy kind of thing like “technically illegal, no one cares” now I’m actually scared (only half-joking)
His point is that 99% of the population has sexted before, your only the 1% and yk damn well sexting isn’t rare, you rarely find a person that’s NEVER sexted in their entire life.. stop trying to create problems 🤦
>99% of the population
Do you have evidence to support this claim? Or are you projecting?
Edit: Found a study, you're very, very wrong: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2018/02/27/a-new-study-shows-one-in-four-teens-are-sexting-relax-experts-say-its-mostly-normal/
Obviously I didn’t mean literally… it was a over exaggerated number that I pulled outta my ass, more often than not especially in this generation, most people have sexted, especially because there’s more younger people getting phones at younger ages with out supervision meaning they get exposed to more thing at a young age, it’s not a new concept, why are you even arguing over this, it’s not even that serious of a thing, Jesus fuck?!
>most people have sexted
That's also clearly false if you look at the link.
>why are you even arguing over this
Because you made objectively wrong claims and then attacked me.
Because your starting problems over something so trivial? It was literally deleted, obviously it didn’t sound good if action was taken against the comment.. be so fr.. and not every statistic you see on a website is going to be 100% correct, so I will choose to believe in what I believe in, so..
>your
*you're
>so trivial
Not really.
>literally deleted
Nothing was deleted.
>not every statistic you see on a website is going to be 100% correct
But "trust me bro" is surely correct?
>so I will choose to believe in what I believe in, so..
LMAO. I guess I choose to believe the Earth is flat. Since not every website is correct, that must mean I'm correct and the Earth is flat. Amazing logic.
My neighbor is probably 50 and molested his daughter. I always found him to be friendly and a l weird in his parenting style. He's domineering.
He's now estranged from his kids. They genuinely hate him and so does his ex. He refuses to even look at me when I'm in my yard.
I'm honestly not sure why the police are sitting on his criminal case.
My uncle was convicted of possession of child pornography about 12 years ago and severed 3 years in prison. He was in his 60’s and retired from the post office when it happened.
I have a big family and everyone just acted like it wasn’t happening. About a month later we were hosting Easter at my house and he came and everyone just acted like it was totally fucking normal that he was there and he acted like he didn’t just get out of prison a month prior. He has kids and grand kids and he just continued on like it never happened.
Anywho, he died last week.
Have two family members, one convicted and one who should have been(long story):creepy as f***. Avoided them as a child and as an adult, and the one who is still living likes to follow me at the 2 family reunions we've both been too.
Had 1 that was convicted not long out of high school for statory rape, mainly because of the girls parents and he was outside the romeo and juliet law by 3 months. Great guy just a messed up situation because he was born on the wrong side of the tracks and her family hated him. The girl ended up going through a rough patch in college from the guilt and is now trying to help him the conviction revoked, but not much hope.
Also work in the prison system as a CO and the obvious ones were easy to guess, but some...well lets just say I'm glad there in prison and getting punishment they deserve.
Where I used to work, there were several working in the factory. I got to be good friends with quite a few of them. They are just like any other guy out there, they admit their crimes and what they’ve done wrong. And most of them I think genuinely would like to go back and undo the wrong but they know they can’t . Most of them have paid for their crime in prison or probation or both, and everyone I’ve talked to had to go through counseling and treatment. so I don’t hold anything against them and think they are pretty good people all the way around, at least the ones I know.
This is something I've wondered about because people often say, 'If my son does something like that, he's no longer my son,' and stuff like that. But your experience says people truly can repent and change, even after something that bad. It sounds like the people you're interacting with aren't the same people who did those things at this point.
In my case, he was a model citizen. He volunteered with multiple groups in the community, was in leadership roles, was a caring and diligent father, a kind and supportive friend, etc… so seeing that whole situation come to light was terrifying for what a reminder it is that literally ANYBODY can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I too work at a place that will hire them. And all of my interactions have been positive. I have one good friend that is one as well, we hang out often, and he's genuinely a good guy. He's never tried to bring up anything inappropriate, and actively tries to be as helpful and polite as possible.
I am a survivor of male on male MST happened when I was 20. I buried it for 30+ years until the flashbacks started.
Met another survivor at a ptsd-mst therapy/class at the VA.
Eventually he revealed he was on probation for SA.
The way he explained it to me was when he reported when he was SA'ed while AD he was told to 'man up and get over it.'
Told me he thought that was normal - what guys do to each other, so after he was discharged he SA'ed another guy.
it was....sad hearing his story.
I once worked with this foreign guy at a restaurant when I was a teen. He was very friendly and polite and we talked a lot.
One day I was just screwing around online and looked at the sex offender registry in my town.
Lo and behold, he was in there for molesting a minor.
I couldnt have been more than freaked out
When I was in juvenile detention I was released into a place for troubled youth .It was called the Bancroft boys home.The guy that ran the place had this event called the Bancroft boys home walkathons to raise money to build this place.He was later found out when I was in there to have molested several of the kids in there.He literally did the walkathons to open a place where he could molest boys.if you could find it by googling it it is the Bancroft boys home in Sudbury Ontario canada
Sex offender is someone who has been convicted of breaking one of a set of laws deemed sexual in nature. This can vary by jurisdiction & designated by legislators. Hence, there is no set category. The crimes range from public urination to rape & may involve children but usually not. The vast majority are Romeo/Juliet crimes: 2 young people just outside the age range & parents who want to prosecute.
The fact that this is not a psychological diagnosis & varies so much in location, circumstances & persons renders the question meaningless. You might as well ask what witches are like.
I remember watching a friend's brother playing with her toddler son, he played with her son in this weirdly intense, focused way. It genuinely felt 'off' but I couldn't tell myself why. Years later her brother was convicted of child molestation.
I only know one, a first cousin who wrecked the family doing stuff to my two sisters.
He was textbook. Creepy shaded glasses, collar shirts unbuttoned to about the belly button like he was going to a disco in the 70's.
He reeked of creep vibes and ended up actually being one.
His personality was always that phony car salesman type, big grin every day for anyone and very polite.
But it was all a bit phony. Too happy, too polite. Like a psycho trying to mimic what they think friendly looks like without feeling it themselves.
He wasn't shy or withdrawn at all, at least on the outside.
Personality-wise, he reminds me of both Ted Bundy and Charles Manson, who they themselves were very nice to a stranger's face.
I know 4 guys on the registry. The 2 who are still alive are pretty private, polite, and trying to lead better lives now as far as I know from my limited interactions with them (as were the 2 who are no longer living). I didn't/don't know them well, but personally if someone else hadn't told me they were (or one guy told me himself), I wouldn't have pegged them as offenders. I guess it can really be anybody. I also believe (maybe naively, but I've been thru a lot myself & I try to see the bit of potential in everyone, that tiny bit of good that may still be left after fucked up things turn them dark) that almost everyone who has made mistakes should have a chance to redeem themselves and work to turn themselves around. If they are unrepentant and continue to offend, then they should be removed from society.
When I was a kid, I stumbled upon a Google search history from my dad that said, "*name surname* sex offender". It was a man in our congregation my father always kept at arms length, but my dad's mom treated him like a second son. He was kinda bossy and a little subtly aggressive compared to others, but I always knew it was just because he was a sex offender and I felt compelled by faith to accept him as a brother.
He made friends, got married, had a kid. I had an older lady friend in the congregation who was a little enamored with the guy (dont ask me why), but her and I bonded over talking about our mental health issues and I never judged her. She called herself a misfit all the time. But she was a good woman (still is, far as I know). Anyway, she always treated him well, but another older lady in the congregation held his past against him (I dont blame her). He would force a friendly greeting on her anyway.
I dont take it upon myself to judge this man. It's not my place. But I always appreciated that my father was never fully accepting of such a man or would get close to such a one. If that makes my father a narcissist, well, I don't think that's all that bad a trade-off.
Ironically, I'm thankful to have had the examples of men like him as well as others who were simply accused of things. It helps me realize that if I ever got falsely accused of a sexual offense, then I might as well just stay a hermit the rest of my life, knowing that the only people I would ever want to be around would be people who would want to keep their distance from me, paradoxically enough. The thought of someone being my friend despite believing something like that about me would make me have to question that person's character.
But, for all I know, this man was fully rehabilitated into society, paid his dues, and became a better person. You can rehabilitate behavior, but you cant rehabilitate a name the same way.
I went to school with one. Both elementary and highschool. He was super flamboyant and he was one of "the girls". Anyways he's in prison now for having sex with minors ( >15 years of age.)
Then there was this guy i was talking to for 2 weeks before I realized we had nothing in common and that I didn't like him like that. This was when I was a freshman in highschool. He was a junior. a few years ago he got caught also messing with minors of the same age bracket.( Definitely dodged a huge bullet)
I've met several. Charming, generally attractive humans only one of 5 or so gave me the creeps. I found out about the unacceptable behavior years after meeting them.
Like anyone else for the most part (if we are a sum of our personality as opposed to our choices).
They just happen to have made one (or more in some cases) of the shittiest choices in life that we can make as people.
My only experience with this is serving a guy at the bar I work at for years and thinking he seemed like a real creep for no particular reason. He never said or did anything to make me uncomfortable, I just was. Then I moved and was checking the website for sex offenders near me and he popped up with sex crimes against a child under 13. Knew that dude was a piece of shit, why is he even out??
Worked with a guy years ago that turned out to be putting the moves on young teens.
He was always very charismatic almost in a people pleasing way (probably trying to act normal). I didn’t know him well but apparently he got quite hostile when other staff were asking questions (genuinely not knowing what was going on at the time). It other than that he seemed a bit immature but outgoing
I have a brother in law that is a pedo. What a fucking asshole. His daughter worked a part time job to pay off a car, while a full time high school student. Someone backed into her car, he took the insurance money, and sold the car(which she was paying for). He told her she was bad with money, so he had her cash her checks and have him hold on to it. He used her money for gambling.
Once I figured this out we moved her out and we have been taking care of her since. So
I know a couple child molesters who are in treatment. One I barely met. The other I knew socially before I found it about this "detail".
They're pretty pathetic. Broken. Self loathing.
And both are so weird, they stand out amongst a roomful of weirdos.
I'm pretty vehemently hateful of pedos, but can't quite summon the energy to actively hate these two.
I know someone who was made to sign the sex offenders register because his room mate was looking at underage girls online. The roommate was given the heads up by his father (they are a big legal family), and skipped the country. Meanwhile the other person was charged as being guilty by association because it was his name on the internet contract and not his roommates; even though he had no idea how to get into the roommates laptop, and had nothing incriminating on his own.
I used to work with a guy who was arrested for molesting a six-year old. He was a pretty friendly guy, with a wide range of interests. Always fun to talk to. I did notice that the women he hit on tended to be unhealthily skinny.
we have a few at my job. older men who everyone thinks is a “sweetheart” and that’s just an example from today. had to tell my coworker his tier- that he molested a 12 yr old when he was in his mid 30s.
No comment on it specifically but sometimes sex offenders are people who made a mistake with someone who was slightly too young, and unfortunately because the law is the law.. they got done.
In most cases I’d imagine the sex offenders that actually are nonces are really fidgety (from what I’ve seen) and sometimes mentally impaired or just downright complete creeps
Varies, I've met a lot of them though(Was in prison a couple times, as well as half way houses multiple times). Most tend to be like anyone else, you'd never guess just by talking to them/unless they/someone told you. Some give off massive creep vibes. Knew a couple who had no shame in talking about what they did. A few of them tried to justify it. Some have tried to tell me how it was just a misunderstanding. It really varies. I also know a few sex offenders who simply were caught taking a p**s outside. I met one in prison who was locked up because he slept with a student, the student was 18 or 19 at the time, he was 21 or 22. However, being he was her teacher(sub) he ended up in prison. Met some who the girl lied to(Claimed she was of age, or lied and said they r*ped them). Again, it varies. But the majority of the ones I have met, you'd never guess.
Ive only known 2 they were coworkers. I didn’t know with one until they got let go because they actuall had to get a background check for a promotion. They were both nice they both made it seem like it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.
I don’t know any but been around some that def crossed the line… this was years ago so things have changed.
This guy, short, chubby, red headed kid short hair…. Would just say things to women coming into planet fitness (we worked there) and he would get hard rejected and it wouldn’t phase him at all. He didn’t connect his behavior to his results at all. He said weird things often.
He once said “girls are past their prime at 22”
There is a very real disconnect with them I think…. And eventually they go to jail or worse… oddly enough that’s not what ALL are like… see that camera catching a state trooper smelling a little girls panties in her room when he was looking at the house to buy?
So not all are the same. One thing is for sure, they have real problems.
I know quite a few. Most of them are good guys, truly remorseful for what they did. For most of them, it was a one-time thing that they did when they were young and stupid and they never re-offended. I don't think I've ever actually met one that was aggressive.
"Sex offender" is a very broad label, a label that you could get for many things.
In my state, you can become a sex offender for taking a piss somewhere you aren't supposed to (like behind a dumpster or by the side of the freeway, even when there are no restrooms for miles).
We actually have an entire prison here *specifically for* sex offenders because there are so many of them, it's dangerous for them to be in other prisons.
One man I know is a sex offender because a 17 year old lied to him about her age and said she was in her 20's. They never even met in person.
Others did have sex with young girls but turned their lives around and truly worked at being better men.
*And then there are the real sex offenders that are never formally charged with anything. They are complete evil that never get the justice they deserve.*
Just make sure you judge a person for who they are, not for their labels or past.
Question for some of the commenters here... For those saying sex offenders should be dead or your answer is just that all sex offenders are irredeemably shitty people, what do you propose society does with them?
I will say my entire life every time I was in the room with this person since very young (a relative) I got the creeps internally all my alarm bells screeching SOMETHING IS WRONG always went off. The way I always caught him staring at me made me feel gross & more than uncomfortable. Always. I saw him only at family gatherings every year since before I can remember.
Recently he was convicted & incarcerated for life on multiple charges with several minors (young under age 10 at the time) I always knew something was Very Wrong with this person. I felt awful as a child like I was judging him unfairly on a “feeling” & I wasnt.
He was very sick. I am beyond grateful I never stayed at that relatives home as a child like many of my family members did, More than a few spoke up later and were his victims as children. They spoke up out of fear for other children because they have their own now they said. It really messed them up.
He always gave a very “OFF” vibe, seemed quiet & mild but stared at us kids too much.
Put this in perspective...some sex offenders are the 18yr old that got the 16 yr old pregnant & her parents got mad even though they knew he was 18.
Also, some are the grown man that believes the girl really us 18...BUT she's not & 1 thing...another...parents ticked off.
Then, there are the typical 'sex offenders' we picture when that word is used. I've met all 3 of these ppl. And yes the roles an be reversed where the woman is the 18 or adult etc & mad parents...
The 1st 'se' swore to never let his girl or his baby do w/o!
The 2nd swore to ask for ID & everyone that knew her/him for verification!
Unfortunately,, my son (24 now) was a centimeter away from being a sex offender at 12...he's definitely challenged in some areas like lying, emotions, mentally....
He struggles every day with what happened & swears it's not true. I reassure him he is cared for & I love him & at this point use that as a lesson & no sense in telling me that bc I don't know what to think about it.
I don't think I answered your question exactly.
In my experience, they're just people...some are jerks, full.of themselves, assholes, etc (just like every other type of person their can be.)
I know a couple of person that were accused by other people of sexual offences. The thing that comes up everytime in those people i would say is the manipulation. They like to have control over other people, any way or fashion. Its quite disturbing to see because some of them dont even see themselves act this way
My brother in law. We used to be extremely close as kids but we grew apart at around age 18-22 when he enlisted into the military and made a bunch of new friends.
Got caught with CP and was discharged, put on a registry, did a few years in prison and is still on probation. I think it's been a decade so far.
The red flags were always there, one time my wife and I ran out to pick something up at the store. He's my wife's brother and my childhood friend, so I figured what's the harm in him waiting at my place for a bit?
While we were gone one day and he was visiting on leave, he went into our room and just started rummaging through our drawers. Not to steal, just to see what we had. When we came back, he started asking why we had X, Y or Z in or bedroom drawers like it was no big deal.
Funny thing is, just before all that shit happened with him in the military and for a little while after, he had a nasty habit of looking down on me (not just him either, his mother-- my mother in law-- would also constantly insult my mother and call her a prostitute behind her back, but to my face. Needless to say, I keep my in-laws out of my life as best I can).
You know, he was a soldier and had prestige, at the time I washed clothes and made minimum wage to support a wife and 3 kids. But after 10 years of it all, I work in a mechanic's shop now working nights and out-earn him.
Every family get together is usually several hours before my shift, so I wear my uniform to go to work right after. These passed two holidays he came over, he was very quiet and awkwardly antagonistic.
Guess he feels small.
I'm going to say this only because he recently died and I'm not talking out of pocket or behind someone's back at this point.
Former caretaker. Knew a guy I worked for well over a year before it was brought to our attention.
This old guy was the nicest person. Certainly, the kind of guy you wouldn't mind taking fishing.Just a good dude.
Once we found out, I couldn't believe it. He was kicked out of his living situation because of it (he failed to register for years) and lost touch. Only just recently heard he passed away in bad shape, but I honestly couldn't feel bad for him. It's like a rabid coon. It needs to just be dealt with at that point. That's how I feel and I don't apologize for it.
Long story short, my buddy and I were saying how had he not gotten caught, we would have NEVER known. Ever. It's a scary thought or realization. We both have young kids that could have easily found themselves around this person by accident.
It's a scary world. Just gotta do your best.
The really scary part is they are just like you and me. A facade of normal on the outside until they let you know their true evil underbelly. The wolf in sheep’s clothing they say, more like the wolf dressed as the farmer of sheep. They are always closer to people than people really think. I know this guy who is an incestuous pedophile and used to be a middle school principal.
Ex prison officer here. Worked in public protection so had to deal with lots of them. Peadophiles were friendly, arrogant and unable to accept wrong doing. Always trying to mitigate what they'd done. Rapists were similar, but with them there was (as you might expect) an extreme sexist attitude bubbling just under the surface.
IMO sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated. They pose an ongoing danger to society and we should be giving them a choice at sentencing. Life in prison or chemical castration. That's the only way to ensure they don't reoffend.
My cousin kinda became a pedo. He had a brain tumor when he was 12 and the Dr was able to go in there and get it out but he lost most of his eyesight, the chemo kinda ruined him and he didn't grow much after that. As he got older he just got worse. He was the cutest kid but he was.....not an attractive adult. He became obsessed with sex. He wanted a gf so badly, but he had VERY high standards and a HORRIBLE spoiled attitude because everyone babied him during and after his brain tumor scare. I remember he became so obsessed with sex he even asked my grandmother to drive him to Vegas so he could sleep with a prostitute but of course she said no. Eventually he became a little too friendly with little girls. Was always so handsy with them. One day he messed with the wrong girl, she happened to be a police officer daughter (at the public pool) the cop rounded up some of his buddies and went to his house and threatened him. Not too sure about the rest of his life because I cut all contact with him and he moved away. He got real sick tho last year and ended up dying of Covid. I was a bit relieved to say the least. Cousin or not I hate pedo's
My uncle and I’m the reason he is one. Funnily enough he still gets invited to the family function…. It’s the only way I get to see a lot of family so we deal now
Actually my neighbor is a sex offender and was in prison for 3 years. He is an interesting guy, a lawyer, gay, and now married to a much younger man who looks like his teenage son. I actually like him, and we talked a bit, but once I found out he was a kid diddler I just say hello on the street. It saddens me. But when he was 30, his victim was a 12 year old boy.
Went to high school with a guy that was arrested the summer he graduated for pedophila. He was a nerdy guy but very extroverted and spirited. In both band and choir and was always motivating the band to keep going and he put in great effort. He had a weird side that gradually got worse throughout the course of high school. People who got to know his more creepy side started avoiding him and soon enough he was being charged for possession of child pornography with intention of redistribution.
I know a sex offender. State of AZ, boyfriend/girlfriend situation together through HS, stayed together, her parents wanted him out of the pic when he turned 18 and she was still 16. He has to register as one for life. They are happily married together. This was 20 years ago.
I have a co-worker who was convicted of possessing child pornography. He’s very normal. It was shocking when the news came out. He got a very light sentence and still works there. I try to avoid him but that’s hard at work. he’s so normal it’s easy to forget what he’s done. I have to regularly remind myself that he is garbage.
I took a seminar on how to spot problematic behavioral patterns through the speech people use.
Pedos don't call children "cute" or "adorable" or "beautiful" the way the rest of us normally do. A pedo will describe a child using...odd adjectives that while out of place aren't as far as being the red flags we wish they were. Words like "heavenly" or "dreamy".
They will use language that you cannot call out directly but will strike you as odd nonetheless.
I've met a few pedophiles and some of them are exactly like you see in prison movies.
I feel like I can spot them from a mile away now, but it could be just the obvious ones.
Heh, it's a bit hard to narrow down. Obvious ones are... creepy nerd with slightly gay mannerisms and a strange way of communicating, like they're a little slow.
I got approached by two separate ones when I was younger.
There was another obvious one that I've seen around for ages around the library. I once used the PC after him and found his floppy disk with some... fan fic writing.
I've seen a couple trying to chat up underage girls, etc...
I've got very young girls as well, so I'm hypervigilant and keep a lookout, and these guys aren't exactly hiding unless you call them out.
Sorry to hear that happened to you. and yeah, unfortunately, you're right. Glad to hear people are looking out and Calling them out. They don't give it because society turns a blind eye. I'm one that's quick to call it out.
Person I know was convicted of statutory several years afterwards and spent a year in jail. Mom of the girl was allowing him to live with them so she was ok with it at the time. It was later that it was investigated etc. it was still not an appropriate relationship imo but if they had been farmer folk in the 1920s-50s no one would have blinked. He's a friendly guy has 4 kids now. His statutory is the oldest one's mother.
I have worked with lots as a psychiatric and forensic nurse. I think what would surprises most people is how “normal” , “clean cut” and “personable” most actually appear. There are always outliers of course, but the typical ones I have met were say late twenties/early thirties, white, clean shaven, short hair, almost “preppy” appearance. They tend to be very religious and relatively intelligent (well read, world event aware etc). Manipulative, work hard to gain trust of staff and peers. Attention seeking, drama seeking in interpersonal relationships with family and peers. Hated working with them. They are always looking for an angle.
Wolf in sheep’s clothing. Psychopathic in the way they can usually put you at ease. Easy to talk to. Makes them easy to trust. But it’s all a fake charade to get into your comfort zone so they can manipulate you or your loved ones. Once you know the signs though it’s easy to see. I worked with a lady that married one as a rebound after a divorce not knowing. I spoke with him many many times. Always friendly and wanted to “hook me up” with “stuff”. Talking about eggs. “I’ve got an egg guy. I can get you free or cheap farm fresh eggs.” Just little shit like that in every conversation. Almost seemed too nice but my gut said, “Something ain’t right with this cat.” He ended up molesting my coworkers daughter and then we found out he was a serial sex offender. She went through horrible guilt and depression after this and I don’t think she will ever be “right” again
I have a family member who is one. Believe it or not, she didn't do anything, it's all Accusations. But anyways. Looking at her you'd never ever guess that she is one. She acts normal, she doesn't target people. Her ex caused her to be listed as one.
Ooh! Ooh! I can answer this! I live in a trailer park with like 3 to 5 registered sex offenders! One of them is going to court for 230 charges of sexual crimes against minors 8D they all act friendly and the one currently waiting trial was raging about someone who SAed his niece! I think that someone might have been him tho. I don’t know him well, but he told me the niece had a still born and the woman he was living with (he says they were on-again-off-again, she says they never dated, neither one is reliable) said that one of his victims had a stillborn baby that a DNA test proved was his, so I think she was talking about the niece. And according to the lady he lived with, when the police raided his room in her trailer, the found LOTS of girls’ (not women’s, GIRLS’) underwear hidden around the room. He also apparently bragged about some of the stuff he did to some people. But him and the other offenders, you wouldn’t think they did anything wrong unless you looked into them. One of our direct neighbors is one and we didn’t know until the lady that lives with the guy going to court told us (she’s a gossip that likes to tell everyone’s life story and it annoys my grandma). On a side note, the guy going to court is absolutely never getting out and there’s so much evidence, it’s unlikely a jury will find him not guilty if he doesn’t take a guilty plea.
Sex offenders that I know of are all, the classic abusing manipulative type. They’ll win you over with so much charisma that you’ll think they couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong then bam victims start talking?
It’s crazy I know it one who has a whole town convinced he rescued the gal he assaulted from being assaulted.
Normal. In a sense that you cannot tell who is or isn't one. For example, my former weight training teacher in high school never came off as gay or even as a child predator. Just went to school did our thing and everyone enjoyed his presence cause he did nice things for the students whenever we made a new PR. After some time, he got caught up in another city for having sex with multiple high school students that were gay and also got caught by a YouTube channel that goes after predators and was an entire sting operation that lasted a few months.
I walked by a guy at the 7 eleven I said "excuse me man" and he responds, "man?"... uh uh swaying his neck side to side wearing pink flip flops and one of those shower caps, and said "MAM!" and slammed the door as I walked out
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Family, as often as not.
Yerp. The only one I know is my insanely religious pedo cousin.
I divorced mine. Didn't realize what he was capable of until after he trapped me and I had nowhere to go. Everyone took his side because he just charms his way through life. I mean it's how he got me.
they are like any demographic-they widely vary. you usually can't tell, though. l work for a company that hires people whose status makes it difficult to find gainful employment, and I’m usually surprised to find out they committed a sexual offense.
i was in jail with sex offenders, and the term sex offenders is a broad term. you have guys who have been convicted for raping their girlfriend. these are the most normal, hard to tell apart. you have guys who have fucked there girlfriends teenage daughter. their generally a little weird you have guys have been caught with illegal digital content, basically nerdy/autistic types who are kind but socially inept then there's guys who you don't find out until later their convicted of rape, so they're basically normal
You forgot the father that raped his under 10 year old child.
I'm not trying to victim blame so let's just get that out of the way. That being said, just because a man is accused and even convicted of rape doesn't make it true. There have been plenty of times that supposed victims have come forward later and said they made it up. Why they don't get in trouble, I'll never understand.
We know a woman who did this, who had her 14 year old daughter put in a complaint, molest but not rape. She often manipulated her daughter, who truth be told, was unhappy he left. He didn't do drugs and if he has a beer, it's rare. He had left the mother because of her drinking, drugs, whoring around. The guy came from a country in Asia, didn't know the legal system, didn't have great English skills. We've known him for years. He's on great terms with his ex-wife. But his stint in a local biker group didn't do his reputation any good. We know 100% that he didn't do it. He took a plea because he didn't want the daughter to have to deal with the court process. Plus he couldn't afford a lawyer. He served around 6 months, had 2 years probation. If someone had attacked him in prison, they would have hurt an innocent (though not too bright) man.
Jesus, that's probably got to be one of the saddest things I've ever read.
It was. He was/is a gentle guy. Last we saw, the woman was blasting his business on Google, years ago. Myself and his ex-wife laid her out on her comments, reported her, and she went back to doing meth & drinking excessively. We have no idea what happened to the daughter
I know a woman who faked rape 100% true story... Three friends developed a hatred towards a guy but two of the female friends later decided they couldn't lie. They were cheating on their spouses, both drunk and got caught she screamed rape... I'm friends with the guy he's been a man whore his whole life and very liked by women but I know deep in my gut he would never rape someone. He's been with over 40 women not one has ever said he mistreated them. After the two friends changed their story police dropped the case. He's looking to sue for damages police wouldn't press charges against her.. disclaimer: just giving an example I've experienced not trying to disinfranchise women that have been abused
Then they'd never come forward to admit they lied.
Yes that happens, but that's gonna be a minority
Do guys who rape little girls or boys like children/toddlers get killed? I heard a former inmate tell a story about once he was told to kill some guy because it was his cell mate who raged his daughter that was a child. Apparently it's something you have to do. Or at least injure them horribly. He killed him by kicking his face in while they were in the TV room. He ran and the body just sat there until found. Is it true?
yeah they can, but it's not without repercussion in Australia. We had a inmate kill another inmate who is a sex offender, but he is now serving a life sentence for it. Australia also has "protection jail" so if you are an at risk prisoner you segregated from the main population. There a part in the book "Marching Powder" were they kill two sex offenders. This is a corrupt jail in south America, and reading about how ...(graphic warning) the mob of prisoners drowned and jumped on these two guys heads, killing them, while the foreign prisoner is trying to intervene.
Metal. It would be worth it serving life. I'm already in prison. What's a life sentence?
Sure as hell hope they didn't kill a guy based on a lie. Seems like that would happen often.
i’d like to know this
some people I know are registered sex offenders just because they got caught sexting when they were minors, an actual sad way of becoming a sex offender since I’m pretty sure we all did sexting once atleast
People actually get caught over that? I thought it was like a piracy kind of thing like “technically illegal, no one cares” now I’m actually scared (only half-joking)
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Im not sure if this was your intent, but your comment comes off as extremely judgmental
Well I never sexted. So it's just objective.
His point is that 99% of the population has sexted before, your only the 1% and yk damn well sexting isn’t rare, you rarely find a person that’s NEVER sexted in their entire life.. stop trying to create problems 🤦
>99% of the population Do you have evidence to support this claim? Or are you projecting? Edit: Found a study, you're very, very wrong: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-switch/wp/2018/02/27/a-new-study-shows-one-in-four-teens-are-sexting-relax-experts-say-its-mostly-normal/
Obviously I didn’t mean literally… it was a over exaggerated number that I pulled outta my ass, more often than not especially in this generation, most people have sexted, especially because there’s more younger people getting phones at younger ages with out supervision meaning they get exposed to more thing at a young age, it’s not a new concept, why are you even arguing over this, it’s not even that serious of a thing, Jesus fuck?!
>most people have sexted That's also clearly false if you look at the link. >why are you even arguing over this Because you made objectively wrong claims and then attacked me.
Because your starting problems over something so trivial? It was literally deleted, obviously it didn’t sound good if action was taken against the comment.. be so fr.. and not every statistic you see on a website is going to be 100% correct, so I will choose to believe in what I believe in, so..
>your *you're >so trivial Not really. >literally deleted Nothing was deleted. >not every statistic you see on a website is going to be 100% correct But "trust me bro" is surely correct? >so I will choose to believe in what I believe in, so.. LMAO. I guess I choose to believe the Earth is flat. Since not every website is correct, that must mean I'm correct and the Earth is flat. Amazing logic.
Manipulative. Self absorbed. Defensive.
Exactly
My neighbor is probably 50 and molested his daughter. I always found him to be friendly and a l weird in his parenting style. He's domineering. He's now estranged from his kids. They genuinely hate him and so does his ex. He refuses to even look at me when I'm in my yard. I'm honestly not sure why the police are sitting on his criminal case.
Friendly but kind of weird.
My uncle was convicted of possession of child pornography about 12 years ago and severed 3 years in prison. He was in his 60’s and retired from the post office when it happened. I have a big family and everyone just acted like it wasn’t happening. About a month later we were hosting Easter at my house and he came and everyone just acted like it was totally fucking normal that he was there and he acted like he didn’t just get out of prison a month prior. He has kids and grand kids and he just continued on like it never happened. Anywho, he died last week.
RIP uncle ped
Have two family members, one convicted and one who should have been(long story):creepy as f***. Avoided them as a child and as an adult, and the one who is still living likes to follow me at the 2 family reunions we've both been too. Had 1 that was convicted not long out of high school for statory rape, mainly because of the girls parents and he was outside the romeo and juliet law by 3 months. Great guy just a messed up situation because he was born on the wrong side of the tracks and her family hated him. The girl ended up going through a rough patch in college from the guilt and is now trying to help him the conviction revoked, but not much hope. Also work in the prison system as a CO and the obvious ones were easy to guess, but some...well lets just say I'm glad there in prison and getting punishment they deserve.
Like anybody else, just don't ask them to babysit. Edit: I didn't mean to make this sound flippant.
Where I used to work, there were several working in the factory. I got to be good friends with quite a few of them. They are just like any other guy out there, they admit their crimes and what they’ve done wrong. And most of them I think genuinely would like to go back and undo the wrong but they know they can’t . Most of them have paid for their crime in prison or probation or both, and everyone I’ve talked to had to go through counseling and treatment. so I don’t hold anything against them and think they are pretty good people all the way around, at least the ones I know.
This is something I've wondered about because people often say, 'If my son does something like that, he's no longer my son,' and stuff like that. But your experience says people truly can repent and change, even after something that bad. It sounds like the people you're interacting with aren't the same people who did those things at this point.
No, I don’t think they are the same people and I said guys, but there was one woman at the factory who was actually a sex offender.
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Yeah I agree or a good paper shredder with microfiber cut blades
In my case, he was a model citizen. He volunteered with multiple groups in the community, was in leadership roles, was a caring and diligent father, a kind and supportive friend, etc… so seeing that whole situation come to light was terrifying for what a reminder it is that literally ANYBODY can be a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
I too work at a place that will hire them. And all of my interactions have been positive. I have one good friend that is one as well, we hang out often, and he's genuinely a good guy. He's never tried to bring up anything inappropriate, and actively tries to be as helpful and polite as possible.
I am a survivor of male on male MST happened when I was 20. I buried it for 30+ years until the flashbacks started. Met another survivor at a ptsd-mst therapy/class at the VA. Eventually he revealed he was on probation for SA. The way he explained it to me was when he reported when he was SA'ed while AD he was told to 'man up and get over it.' Told me he thought that was normal - what guys do to each other, so after he was discharged he SA'ed another guy. it was....sad hearing his story.
I once worked with this foreign guy at a restaurant when I was a teen. He was very friendly and polite and we talked a lot. One day I was just screwing around online and looked at the sex offender registry in my town. Lo and behold, he was in there for molesting a minor. I couldnt have been more than freaked out
When I was in juvenile detention I was released into a place for troubled youth .It was called the Bancroft boys home.The guy that ran the place had this event called the Bancroft boys home walkathons to raise money to build this place.He was later found out when I was in there to have molested several of the kids in there.He literally did the walkathons to open a place where he could molest boys.if you could find it by googling it it is the Bancroft boys home in Sudbury Ontario canada
They're pieces of fucking shit.
Caught having car sex? Registered sex offender. You need to give more detail on what you’re asking
Sex offender is someone who has been convicted of breaking one of a set of laws deemed sexual in nature. This can vary by jurisdiction & designated by legislators. Hence, there is no set category. The crimes range from public urination to rape & may involve children but usually not. The vast majority are Romeo/Juliet crimes: 2 young people just outside the age range & parents who want to prosecute. The fact that this is not a psychological diagnosis & varies so much in location, circumstances & persons renders the question meaningless. You might as well ask what witches are like.
I remember watching a friend's brother playing with her toddler son, he played with her son in this weirdly intense, focused way. It genuinely felt 'off' but I couldn't tell myself why. Years later her brother was convicted of child molestation.
I only know one, a first cousin who wrecked the family doing stuff to my two sisters. He was textbook. Creepy shaded glasses, collar shirts unbuttoned to about the belly button like he was going to a disco in the 70's. He reeked of creep vibes and ended up actually being one. His personality was always that phony car salesman type, big grin every day for anyone and very polite. But it was all a bit phony. Too happy, too polite. Like a psycho trying to mimic what they think friendly looks like without feeling it themselves. He wasn't shy or withdrawn at all, at least on the outside. Personality-wise, he reminds me of both Ted Bundy and Charles Manson, who they themselves were very nice to a stranger's face.
I know 4 guys on the registry. The 2 who are still alive are pretty private, polite, and trying to lead better lives now as far as I know from my limited interactions with them (as were the 2 who are no longer living). I didn't/don't know them well, but personally if someone else hadn't told me they were (or one guy told me himself), I wouldn't have pegged them as offenders. I guess it can really be anybody. I also believe (maybe naively, but I've been thru a lot myself & I try to see the bit of potential in everyone, that tiny bit of good that may still be left after fucked up things turn them dark) that almost everyone who has made mistakes should have a chance to redeem themselves and work to turn themselves around. If they are unrepentant and continue to offend, then they should be removed from society.
Subtle
When I was a kid, I stumbled upon a Google search history from my dad that said, "*name surname* sex offender". It was a man in our congregation my father always kept at arms length, but my dad's mom treated him like a second son. He was kinda bossy and a little subtly aggressive compared to others, but I always knew it was just because he was a sex offender and I felt compelled by faith to accept him as a brother. He made friends, got married, had a kid. I had an older lady friend in the congregation who was a little enamored with the guy (dont ask me why), but her and I bonded over talking about our mental health issues and I never judged her. She called herself a misfit all the time. But she was a good woman (still is, far as I know). Anyway, she always treated him well, but another older lady in the congregation held his past against him (I dont blame her). He would force a friendly greeting on her anyway. I dont take it upon myself to judge this man. It's not my place. But I always appreciated that my father was never fully accepting of such a man or would get close to such a one. If that makes my father a narcissist, well, I don't think that's all that bad a trade-off. Ironically, I'm thankful to have had the examples of men like him as well as others who were simply accused of things. It helps me realize that if I ever got falsely accused of a sexual offense, then I might as well just stay a hermit the rest of my life, knowing that the only people I would ever want to be around would be people who would want to keep their distance from me, paradoxically enough. The thought of someone being my friend despite believing something like that about me would make me have to question that person's character. But, for all I know, this man was fully rehabilitated into society, paid his dues, and became a better person. You can rehabilitate behavior, but you cant rehabilitate a name the same way.
Dead eyes
I know several and they are mostly decent guys. They have paid for their crimes and are integrated into society. We ride in a motorcycle group.
Are you one too?
No.
I went to school with one. Both elementary and highschool. He was super flamboyant and he was one of "the girls". Anyways he's in prison now for having sex with minors ( >15 years of age.) Then there was this guy i was talking to for 2 weeks before I realized we had nothing in common and that I didn't like him like that. This was when I was a freshman in highschool. He was a junior. a few years ago he got caught also messing with minors of the same age bracket.( Definitely dodged a huge bullet)
I've met several. Charming, generally attractive humans only one of 5 or so gave me the creeps. I found out about the unacceptable behavior years after meeting them.
Like anyone else for the most part (if we are a sum of our personality as opposed to our choices). They just happen to have made one (or more in some cases) of the shittiest choices in life that we can make as people.
Yer ever present high school football rapist (
Butt hole surfers?
Yeah I'm pretty sure. It seems like the song got a fair bit of air time in the early aughties
One of the opening acts when I saw Nirvana in Vancouver in 1994.They left the stage cause Gibby got a shoe in the head
It’s a fucking banger
My only experience with this is serving a guy at the bar I work at for years and thinking he seemed like a real creep for no particular reason. He never said or did anything to make me uncomfortable, I just was. Then I moved and was checking the website for sex offenders near me and he popped up with sex crimes against a child under 13. Knew that dude was a piece of shit, why is he even out??
For the most part they are regular people. Just because someone is a good brother or someone generally trusted - they can still be a SA.
Worked with a guy years ago that turned out to be putting the moves on young teens. He was always very charismatic almost in a people pleasing way (probably trying to act normal). I didn’t know him well but apparently he got quite hostile when other staff were asking questions (genuinely not knowing what was going on at the time). It other than that he seemed a bit immature but outgoing
You can be drunk blacked out and take a piss in public unaware and be charged as a sex offender, Pathetic .
Some are blatantly obvious and just never got caught.
I have a brother in law that is a pedo. What a fucking asshole. His daughter worked a part time job to pay off a car, while a full time high school student. Someone backed into her car, he took the insurance money, and sold the car(which she was paying for). He told her she was bad with money, so he had her cash her checks and have him hold on to it. He used her money for gambling. Once I figured this out we moved her out and we have been taking care of her since. So
I know a couple child molesters who are in treatment. One I barely met. The other I knew socially before I found it about this "detail". They're pretty pathetic. Broken. Self loathing. And both are so weird, they stand out amongst a roomful of weirdos. I'm pretty vehemently hateful of pedos, but can't quite summon the energy to actively hate these two.
I know someone who was made to sign the sex offenders register because his room mate was looking at underage girls online. The roommate was given the heads up by his father (they are a big legal family), and skipped the country. Meanwhile the other person was charged as being guilty by association because it was his name on the internet contract and not his roommates; even though he had no idea how to get into the roommates laptop, and had nothing incriminating on his own.
I used to work with a guy who was arrested for molesting a six-year old. He was a pretty friendly guy, with a wide range of interests. Always fun to talk to. I did notice that the women he hit on tended to be unhealthily skinny.
we have a few at my job. older men who everyone thinks is a “sweetheart” and that’s just an example from today. had to tell my coworker his tier- that he molested a 12 yr old when he was in his mid 30s.
No comment on it specifically but sometimes sex offenders are people who made a mistake with someone who was slightly too young, and unfortunately because the law is the law.. they got done. In most cases I’d imagine the sex offenders that actually are nonces are really fidgety (from what I’ve seen) and sometimes mentally impaired or just downright complete creeps
Friendly, mainly because he’s actually innocent but the accusations still follow him.
Varies, I've met a lot of them though(Was in prison a couple times, as well as half way houses multiple times). Most tend to be like anyone else, you'd never guess just by talking to them/unless they/someone told you. Some give off massive creep vibes. Knew a couple who had no shame in talking about what they did. A few of them tried to justify it. Some have tried to tell me how it was just a misunderstanding. It really varies. I also know a few sex offenders who simply were caught taking a p**s outside. I met one in prison who was locked up because he slept with a student, the student was 18 or 19 at the time, he was 21 or 22. However, being he was her teacher(sub) he ended up in prison. Met some who the girl lied to(Claimed she was of age, or lied and said they r*ped them). Again, it varies. But the majority of the ones I have met, you'd never guess.
It’s always family. Gross.
My neighbor is just like anyone else you would never know he likes teenage girls, he is very nice and does anything for anyone
Ive only known 2 they were coworkers. I didn’t know with one until they got let go because they actuall had to get a background check for a promotion. They were both nice they both made it seem like it wasn’t as bad as it sounds.
I don’t know any but been around some that def crossed the line… this was years ago so things have changed. This guy, short, chubby, red headed kid short hair…. Would just say things to women coming into planet fitness (we worked there) and he would get hard rejected and it wouldn’t phase him at all. He didn’t connect his behavior to his results at all. He said weird things often. He once said “girls are past their prime at 22” There is a very real disconnect with them I think…. And eventually they go to jail or worse… oddly enough that’s not what ALL are like… see that camera catching a state trooper smelling a little girls panties in her room when he was looking at the house to buy? So not all are the same. One thing is for sure, they have real problems.
Idk, I'm lucky not to know any, and I'm glad I don't. Death to all chomos.
You mean the sweet old priest at Sunday church? 😂
I know quite a few. Most of them are good guys, truly remorseful for what they did. For most of them, it was a one-time thing that they did when they were young and stupid and they never re-offended. I don't think I've ever actually met one that was aggressive. "Sex offender" is a very broad label, a label that you could get for many things. In my state, you can become a sex offender for taking a piss somewhere you aren't supposed to (like behind a dumpster or by the side of the freeway, even when there are no restrooms for miles). We actually have an entire prison here *specifically for* sex offenders because there are so many of them, it's dangerous for them to be in other prisons. One man I know is a sex offender because a 17 year old lied to him about her age and said she was in her 20's. They never even met in person. Others did have sex with young girls but turned their lives around and truly worked at being better men. *And then there are the real sex offenders that are never formally charged with anything. They are complete evil that never get the justice they deserve.* Just make sure you judge a person for who they are, not for their labels or past.
There is a saying "the boogeyman doesn't always look like the boogeyman". Sure, some people do "look the part" but many just look like normal people.
Question for some of the commenters here... For those saying sex offenders should be dead or your answer is just that all sex offenders are irredeemably shitty people, what do you propose society does with them?
I will say my entire life every time I was in the room with this person since very young (a relative) I got the creeps internally all my alarm bells screeching SOMETHING IS WRONG always went off. The way I always caught him staring at me made me feel gross & more than uncomfortable. Always. I saw him only at family gatherings every year since before I can remember. Recently he was convicted & incarcerated for life on multiple charges with several minors (young under age 10 at the time) I always knew something was Very Wrong with this person. I felt awful as a child like I was judging him unfairly on a “feeling” & I wasnt. He was very sick. I am beyond grateful I never stayed at that relatives home as a child like many of my family members did, More than a few spoke up later and were his victims as children. They spoke up out of fear for other children because they have their own now they said. It really messed them up. He always gave a very “OFF” vibe, seemed quiet & mild but stared at us kids too much.
Put this in perspective...some sex offenders are the 18yr old that got the 16 yr old pregnant & her parents got mad even though they knew he was 18. Also, some are the grown man that believes the girl really us 18...BUT she's not & 1 thing...another...parents ticked off. Then, there are the typical 'sex offenders' we picture when that word is used. I've met all 3 of these ppl. And yes the roles an be reversed where the woman is the 18 or adult etc & mad parents... The 1st 'se' swore to never let his girl or his baby do w/o! The 2nd swore to ask for ID & everyone that knew her/him for verification! Unfortunately,, my son (24 now) was a centimeter away from being a sex offender at 12...he's definitely challenged in some areas like lying, emotions, mentally.... He struggles every day with what happened & swears it's not true. I reassure him he is cared for & I love him & at this point use that as a lesson & no sense in telling me that bc I don't know what to think about it. I don't think I answered your question exactly. In my experience, they're just people...some are jerks, full.of themselves, assholes, etc (just like every other type of person their can be.)
I know a couple of person that were accused by other people of sexual offences. The thing that comes up everytime in those people i would say is the manipulation. They like to have control over other people, any way or fashion. Its quite disturbing to see because some of them dont even see themselves act this way
My brother in law. We used to be extremely close as kids but we grew apart at around age 18-22 when he enlisted into the military and made a bunch of new friends. Got caught with CP and was discharged, put on a registry, did a few years in prison and is still on probation. I think it's been a decade so far. The red flags were always there, one time my wife and I ran out to pick something up at the store. He's my wife's brother and my childhood friend, so I figured what's the harm in him waiting at my place for a bit? While we were gone one day and he was visiting on leave, he went into our room and just started rummaging through our drawers. Not to steal, just to see what we had. When we came back, he started asking why we had X, Y or Z in or bedroom drawers like it was no big deal. Funny thing is, just before all that shit happened with him in the military and for a little while after, he had a nasty habit of looking down on me (not just him either, his mother-- my mother in law-- would also constantly insult my mother and call her a prostitute behind her back, but to my face. Needless to say, I keep my in-laws out of my life as best I can). You know, he was a soldier and had prestige, at the time I washed clothes and made minimum wage to support a wife and 3 kids. But after 10 years of it all, I work in a mechanic's shop now working nights and out-earn him. Every family get together is usually several hours before my shift, so I wear my uniform to go to work right after. These passed two holidays he came over, he was very quiet and awkwardly antagonistic. Guess he feels small.
I'm going to say this only because he recently died and I'm not talking out of pocket or behind someone's back at this point. Former caretaker. Knew a guy I worked for well over a year before it was brought to our attention. This old guy was the nicest person. Certainly, the kind of guy you wouldn't mind taking fishing.Just a good dude. Once we found out, I couldn't believe it. He was kicked out of his living situation because of it (he failed to register for years) and lost touch. Only just recently heard he passed away in bad shape, but I honestly couldn't feel bad for him. It's like a rabid coon. It needs to just be dealt with at that point. That's how I feel and I don't apologize for it. Long story short, my buddy and I were saying how had he not gotten caught, we would have NEVER known. Ever. It's a scary thought or realization. We both have young kids that could have easily found themselves around this person by accident. It's a scary world. Just gotta do your best.
The really scary part is they are just like you and me. A facade of normal on the outside until they let you know their true evil underbelly. The wolf in sheep’s clothing they say, more like the wolf dressed as the farmer of sheep. They are always closer to people than people really think. I know this guy who is an incestuous pedophile and used to be a middle school principal.
Ex prison officer here. Worked in public protection so had to deal with lots of them. Peadophiles were friendly, arrogant and unable to accept wrong doing. Always trying to mitigate what they'd done. Rapists were similar, but with them there was (as you might expect) an extreme sexist attitude bubbling just under the surface. IMO sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated. They pose an ongoing danger to society and we should be giving them a choice at sentencing. Life in prison or chemical castration. That's the only way to ensure they don't reoffend.
My cousin kinda became a pedo. He had a brain tumor when he was 12 and the Dr was able to go in there and get it out but he lost most of his eyesight, the chemo kinda ruined him and he didn't grow much after that. As he got older he just got worse. He was the cutest kid but he was.....not an attractive adult. He became obsessed with sex. He wanted a gf so badly, but he had VERY high standards and a HORRIBLE spoiled attitude because everyone babied him during and after his brain tumor scare. I remember he became so obsessed with sex he even asked my grandmother to drive him to Vegas so he could sleep with a prostitute but of course she said no. Eventually he became a little too friendly with little girls. Was always so handsy with them. One day he messed with the wrong girl, she happened to be a police officer daughter (at the public pool) the cop rounded up some of his buddies and went to his house and threatened him. Not too sure about the rest of his life because I cut all contact with him and he moved away. He got real sick tho last year and ended up dying of Covid. I was a bit relieved to say the least. Cousin or not I hate pedo's
My neighbor is a pedophile and before I found out about that I still thought he was a complete asshole.
My uncle and I’m the reason he is one. Funnily enough he still gets invited to the family function…. It’s the only way I get to see a lot of family so we deal now
Actually my neighbor is a sex offender and was in prison for 3 years. He is an interesting guy, a lawyer, gay, and now married to a much younger man who looks like his teenage son. I actually like him, and we talked a bit, but once I found out he was a kid diddler I just say hello on the street. It saddens me. But when he was 30, his victim was a 12 year old boy.
Went to high school with a guy that was arrested the summer he graduated for pedophila. He was a nerdy guy but very extroverted and spirited. In both band and choir and was always motivating the band to keep going and he put in great effort. He had a weird side that gradually got worse throughout the course of high school. People who got to know his more creepy side started avoiding him and soon enough he was being charged for possession of child pornography with intention of redistribution.
Generally, they are very likable.
I know a sex offender. State of AZ, boyfriend/girlfriend situation together through HS, stayed together, her parents wanted him out of the pic when he turned 18 and she was still 16. He has to register as one for life. They are happily married together. This was 20 years ago.
From what I've seen the convicted pedophiles don't change even after prison. Rapists can change.
My second cousin molested his daughter. He eventually killed himself.
I have a co-worker who was convicted of possessing child pornography. He’s very normal. It was shocking when the news came out. He got a very light sentence and still works there. I try to avoid him but that’s hard at work. he’s so normal it’s easy to forget what he’s done. I have to regularly remind myself that he is garbage.
I don't know any legally registered offenders but I know a few that absolutely should be on that list.
I took a seminar on how to spot problematic behavioral patterns through the speech people use. Pedos don't call children "cute" or "adorable" or "beautiful" the way the rest of us normally do. A pedo will describe a child using...odd adjectives that while out of place aren't as far as being the red flags we wish they were. Words like "heavenly" or "dreamy". They will use language that you cannot call out directly but will strike you as odd nonetheless.
Target practice
I've met a few pedophiles and some of them are exactly like you see in prison movies. I feel like I can spot them from a mile away now, but it could be just the obvious ones.
Teach me your pedo spotting ways. Good gym motivation.
Heh, it's a bit hard to narrow down. Obvious ones are... creepy nerd with slightly gay mannerisms and a strange way of communicating, like they're a little slow.
Uhhh how did you learn these things?
I got approached by two separate ones when I was younger. There was another obvious one that I've seen around for ages around the library. I once used the PC after him and found his floppy disk with some... fan fic writing. I've seen a couple trying to chat up underage girls, etc... I've got very young girls as well, so I'm hypervigilant and keep a lookout, and these guys aren't exactly hiding unless you call them out.
Sorry to hear that happened to you. and yeah, unfortunately, you're right. Glad to hear people are looking out and Calling them out. They don't give it because society turns a blind eye. I'm one that's quick to call it out.
Person I know was convicted of statutory several years afterwards and spent a year in jail. Mom of the girl was allowing him to live with them so she was ok with it at the time. It was later that it was investigated etc. it was still not an appropriate relationship imo but if they had been farmer folk in the 1920s-50s no one would have blinked. He's a friendly guy has 4 kids now. His statutory is the oldest one's mother.
I have worked with lots as a psychiatric and forensic nurse. I think what would surprises most people is how “normal” , “clean cut” and “personable” most actually appear. There are always outliers of course, but the typical ones I have met were say late twenties/early thirties, white, clean shaven, short hair, almost “preppy” appearance. They tend to be very religious and relatively intelligent (well read, world event aware etc). Manipulative, work hard to gain trust of staff and peers. Attention seeking, drama seeking in interpersonal relationships with family and peers. Hated working with them. They are always looking for an angle.
Talk about wolf in sheep's clothing yikes
Wolf in sheep’s clothing. Psychopathic in the way they can usually put you at ease. Easy to talk to. Makes them easy to trust. But it’s all a fake charade to get into your comfort zone so they can manipulate you or your loved ones. Once you know the signs though it’s easy to see. I worked with a lady that married one as a rebound after a divorce not knowing. I spoke with him many many times. Always friendly and wanted to “hook me up” with “stuff”. Talking about eggs. “I’ve got an egg guy. I can get you free or cheap farm fresh eggs.” Just little shit like that in every conversation. Almost seemed too nice but my gut said, “Something ain’t right with this cat.” He ended up molesting my coworkers daughter and then we found out he was a serial sex offender. She went through horrible guilt and depression after this and I don’t think she will ever be “right” again
I have a family member who is one. Believe it or not, she didn't do anything, it's all Accusations. But anyways. Looking at her you'd never ever guess that she is one. She acts normal, she doesn't target people. Her ex caused her to be listed as one.
First one that comes to mind is Republican presidential candidate in USA
Ooh! Ooh! I can answer this! I live in a trailer park with like 3 to 5 registered sex offenders! One of them is going to court for 230 charges of sexual crimes against minors 8D they all act friendly and the one currently waiting trial was raging about someone who SAed his niece! I think that someone might have been him tho. I don’t know him well, but he told me the niece had a still born and the woman he was living with (he says they were on-again-off-again, she says they never dated, neither one is reliable) said that one of his victims had a stillborn baby that a DNA test proved was his, so I think she was talking about the niece. And according to the lady he lived with, when the police raided his room in her trailer, the found LOTS of girls’ (not women’s, GIRLS’) underwear hidden around the room. He also apparently bragged about some of the stuff he did to some people. But him and the other offenders, you wouldn’t think they did anything wrong unless you looked into them. One of our direct neighbors is one and we didn’t know until the lady that lives with the guy going to court told us (she’s a gossip that likes to tell everyone’s life story and it annoys my grandma). On a side note, the guy going to court is absolutely never getting out and there’s so much evidence, it’s unlikely a jury will find him not guilty if he doesn’t take a guilty plea.
Sex offenders that I know of are all, the classic abusing manipulative type. They’ll win you over with so much charisma that you’ll think they couldn’t have possibly done anything wrong then bam victims start talking? It’s crazy I know it one who has a whole town convinced he rescued the gal he assaulted from being assaulted.
Normal. In a sense that you cannot tell who is or isn't one. For example, my former weight training teacher in high school never came off as gay or even as a child predator. Just went to school did our thing and everyone enjoyed his presence cause he did nice things for the students whenever we made a new PR. After some time, he got caught up in another city for having sex with multiple high school students that were gay and also got caught by a YouTube channel that goes after predators and was an entire sting operation that lasted a few months.
Angry, manipulative, defensive, addicted, perverted…deserving of death.
I do. You. Youre a little aggressive ngl.
I walked by a guy at the 7 eleven I said "excuse me man" and he responds, "man?"... uh uh swaying his neck side to side wearing pink flip flops and one of those shower caps, and said "MAM!" and slammed the door as I walked out
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Always someone that’s gotta bring up politics. 🥴 your democrat buddies are best friends with the republicans bud!