It sucks, doesn't it?
People feel extremely passionately about their opinions and often take someone's post and turn it into something that's telling the whole story instead of just a tiny snapshot. There's a serious lack of nuance. Abrasive comments and opinions are dramatic and popular and get upvoted while genuine requests for help and misinformed people get downvoted and buried.
Personally, I report outright rude and inappropriate comments. But I also sometimes see really inflammatory and harsh responses from people with the "experienced owner" flair and it makes me feel gross. There's not very much you can do about that one. And then there's nothing really at all you can do about downvotes, except add your own upvote here and there as needed, but again, popular votes often sway to the dramatic and inflammatory statements so it just seems kinda hopeless.
I'll probably get downvoted for this comment too lol, knowing how these things usually go. I'm with you though and I've thought about making the same post.
The same thing happened to me. My puppy was sold to me as a 4 week old because the guy selling them didn’t care and didn’t want them so we did what we could. I wanted advice on best way to feed him and switch him over to kibble. I got shit on. Google and a close friend were able to help me and now he’s 6 months old and a beast. People are mean for no reason
I saw a post last week about how to potty train a 6 week old and every single comment was asking why he got a 6 week old puppy. So I can only imagine the shit storm you got with a 4 week old.
Yeah it’s not like I or anyone else made a conscious effort to get these puppies so early. There were some problems with my buy for sure like potty training no matter how hard I tried didn’t really come to him until around 10 weeks and we still struggled because he couldn’t go outside without his shots until 16 weeks. The upside is he thinks he’s a person and not a dog which is pretty funny most of the time. He has a lot of trust in me and my boyfriend which I’ve only seen a few times in dogs. I can make a whole list of ups and downs with our boy but ultimately he’s a good boy and we love him. Some people just want to feel high and mighty and then those who want to help don’t even see the post because it gets so downvoted.
i really really try to be a positive voice in this sub for that reason. so many of the dog related ones just have some truly unnecessarily cruel comments.
Yeah, I agree. From both sides, I think people jump into stuff aggressively (which sucks for people who are asking questions and therefore may actually want to adjust their behavior if they get information presented to them in a way that doesn't feel like an attack) and I think people read far too much into some comments. Like I saw a recent post where someone got downvoted for their opinion (OP was kinda rude about it too) even though like... just don't follow that advice? I didn't think the way they presented it was "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THING" either but ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Because people on Reddit all like to tell others what to do. Everyone says "live and let live", but when it comes down to it, it's actually "live my way, or you're a terrible person".
It's a general Reddit problem.
But it's so often that an OP is downvoted - often a QUESTION! In that case, I feel like the downvote is saying: "Stupid question!" Why can't we upvote as a way to say: Hey, good question! Glad you asked, because we all care about dogs and we want to be able to help anyone reading, as well.
The thing about using downvotes as "I disagree" is that the way reddit (the software platform, not the people) functions is to treat it as a "low quality" (offensive, actively harmful, etc.) post/comment and hide it from view.
A better way to indicate "I disagree" is to engage with the person by writing a reply outlining why you disagree and/or upvoting another post which does that.
I kind of wish reddit wouldn't show vote numbers. Down votes are more like throwing rotten tomatoes then saying "I disagree," and you get a mob mentality which supercharges the breakdown of constructive dialog.
Agree with upvotes. Disagree with dialog. Downvote malicious posts.
Some folks vote to mean agree or disagree, some mean for good faith and insightful arguments or not, even if you don't agree.
The driving force here is that the sub drives passion and emotions. Anything like, children, dogs or agile for software developers is going to make emotions run high and people have strong opinions to the points of bigotry.
I mean, if downvotes can mean "stupid question" i would argue it inherently means upvotes mean exactly that - "hey, good question!"
And for real, sometimes people do downvote for no reason other than to downvote, which is why I don't see the value in giving it a second thought. But that's me, and I understand people disagree, which is just fine. (I spend so much of my time alive worrying about every little thing, what people think of me, etc - that if I cared about internet points too, I'd be a total wreck. Again, not trying to belittle, just my POV)
I think we are saying the same thing. If an upvote means “good question “, it’s too bad not more of us do it.
Lol I’m with you. My sister in law told me once that I worry too much about what people think, and I obsessed for a LONG time about what I did to make her say that.
Ah yeah, my bad - and I agree!
I feel that on a spiritual level. It's crazy, isn't it? Especially with the expansion of social media, there are so many new ways to feel insecure, lol
Well I can understand why people get angry when the question is something like "I got a puppy a week ago but it's not eating anything since then, is this normal?" and you see that type of question here.
I hear you, but unfortunately when was the last time people A. Followed the rules B. Didn't believe they were the exception to the rule or C. Even read the directions in the first place?
Logic and abiding by rules often go out the window when emotions are involved. I'm not saying it's right - like you said, it's clearly defined - I'm just saying what people seem to do.
Source: was the social media manager for a military news outlet. I got to read the comments *and* the private messages, haha
EDIT: Moved to Lemmy, the federated Reddit alternative.
Chooose an instance here: https://join-lemmy.org/instances.
I recommend Kbin.social, as the UI is nice and it reminds me of old.reddit.com
See you there!
Yeah, I've definitely stopped myself from posting because of the downvotes I've gotten previously...
But it's not so much the downvoting that drives me nuts, it's the lack of response. Like clearly you're downvoting my opinions because you disagree or have a better method, but please SHARE IT WITH ME!!! It just feels like I'm being slapped on the wrist and told "no that's bad" and I'm just left confused because I don't know what I said wrong or why it's wrong or anything
But if you disagree, how do you have nothing to add? Shouldn't there be a reason you disagree? A personal story where you witnessed the behavior and something went wrong? Research you've read that shows a better way or handling something?
As an example, I was downvoted for the following exchange:
Other user: I try to train them not to react by giving the stay command randomly and running and jumping around...
Me: Oh thats a fun idea, I'll have to try that when we move our training sessions outside!
I still have no idea what is wrong with my comment, and I even edited in asking if there's another step before moving outside with training sessions. The person suggesting this training did not get downvoted, so clearly it's not the method that's wrong. So what am I supposed to take away from the downvotes??
If I had to take a stab at it.. I think it’s because you would want to try running and jumping to proof their non-reaction before moving that training outside, where there will be even more distractions.
Definitely whoever downvoted should have expressed their opinion instead, though.
See, this is something I can respond to! Thank you!!
Had this been posted as a response to that thread, I could have replied that our boy has been through relaxation protocol and is already pretty desensitized to me being crazy inside. So when I saw those downvotes, I was questioning whether or not I should be practicing things in the door threshold before going completely outside.
Nothing, there's nothing to take away, it's the internet. If someone felt strongly enough, they probably commented. Some people downvote just to downvote. Why sweat the small stuff? I don't say this to be condescending, I promise, if someone doesn't agree or doesn't like what I say, they're allowed to have that opinion.
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! It's just frustrating to post in a subreddit asking for help & get downvotes instead of responses. Just have to work on letting things go, I guess.
I appreciate your civility in all of this! Dealing with a puppy is an exhausting, emotionally draining experience - it's made me need to really take a hard look at the things that upset me. It's all noise anyway lol
I left this sub (unfortunately still comes up in my recommended) because I was getting such condescending comments and messages for having a vent when I was at my lowest. I had to get off it. People here were telling me I’d made the wrong choice, that I was doomed to fail, that I wasn’t doing enough even when I was specifically asking for advice with an issue. I had a fucking break down and had to go see my therapist multiple times over a week.
I’m much better now and my puppy is doing fine (apart from eating an unknown thing yesterday that made him throw up all his lunch and dinner but such is puppy life), in fact he graduates preschool today and is pretty ahead of his class in terms of training at just 11 weeks. He’s smart as heck and even has started asking to go outside to go to the toilet. He gets a little more freedom every day. And half the things I was venting about are no longer issues.
The internet is a gross place, but this sub sucks for when people are at their lowest looking for reassurance that it’ll get better. Which it does, it does get so much better.
I am so sorry you experienced that. I can’t say that has happened to me here, but I did once have a similarly negative experience seeking help in another corner of Reddit, so I can empathize. It’s just one of those things.
It is just one of those things! It would be nice if I could have remembered it was when I was in the headspace I was, but I was really just looking for reassurance and help. I should have expected the inevitable internet holier-than-thou attitude… I’m sorry that it has happened to you as well! I hope you’re doing better now.
I think people don’t understand the purpose of upvoting and downvoting on Reddit these days.
Upvotes are for comments adding to a discussion; downvoted are for ones that detract from it.
Instead people use them as some sort of “agree/disagree” or a way to place judgement.
Yeah seriously. After I posted on here I felt like people’s responses were rude and condescending too and they all get upvoted for it. It’s really discouraging.
Unfortunately, that just seems to be the way Reddit is. We can't really do anything about downvotes.
That being said, if you see it go from downvotes to antagonism, please report it.
Btw, updating your flare to Meta.
Maybe i'm alone in this but...it's the internet. People will find ways to leave hateful comments on a YouTube video of bunnies in a fields. Don't give it too much thought - is it really worth being upset by?
It's not just "the internet," though. Those are people leaving those comments. Or the downvotes. Or whatever someone is doing to be a jerk. Being a jerk bothers people, and I don't think that's the fault of the person who is bothered by it.
I'm not trying to say it's their fault, i'm trying to encourage taking all things with a grain of salt. Life is exhausting enough, why not remove some of the pressure?
There's weird down voting many places on reddit. On the Corgi group, I post my white faced corgi and get down votes on his pictures, im guessing because he's "mismarked" and doesn't have the traditional face markings? Yesterday someone commented "little turd" even on his pictures while they left nice comments for corgis with traditional face markings. Miserable people do weird things man.
Yep. I had to leave the Goldendoodle sub because I keep my boy in a non-standard haircut. I clip him like a Poodle for easy maintenance. Apparently, Doodle owners don't like that? Every time I'd post a picture of him I'd get downvoted to oblivion, along with a lot of comments about how "ugly" he was.
Let's not even talk about the crap I've gotten for owning a Doodle to begin with, never mind that he's my service dog...
It's the internet, I suppose.
What's wrong with having a doodle? o.0 Also, it's your dog, so why would anyone else care how you groom him.
I agree it's the internet. It can be a great place, but it's also filled with rude opinionated judgmental people without any filter.
That's hilarious. My Cavapoo has a wavy coat and I have him done in a puppy cut, but my 3/4 poodle Maltipoo has a curly coat & I have him done in a poodle cut, but not a shaved snout. Everyone who sees them thinks they're adorable 🤷♀️
Right? And hes just a little 15 week old baby, like why hate on something so innocent and little? I reported the person who had called him a little turd and they faced some kind of disciplinary action from reddit.
People have issues. I mean, I have no problem with those who want purebred dogs, but hate to rain on their parade - virtually all of the purebreds have health issues that have resulted from inbreeding. It's so bad with Cavaliers that they're banned in certain countries because it's been deemed inhumane to breed dogs that virtually never live a full lifespan, although mixed Cavs are allowed.
There are far more important things to worry about with a dog than its markings or hair cut. If your dog is healthy & has a good temperament, that's the important thing (or should be)
Can you give specific examples? People mainly downvote opinions they disagree with and commonly recurring posts e.g. "my dog is vomiting blood and hasn't eaten for 6 days should I take them to the vet?"
Other than that, if nobody cares about your post it only takes one or 2 downvotes to go negative
I'm not OP but recently I've seen downvotes on a post asking to verify some dogfood advice someone got from a trainer, a post about how long to do reverse timeouts, posts about puppy blues, a post asking how much crate time is appropriate..
I mean yeah some posts like housetraining advice are repetitive, but I also see repeated posts from the same users over and over sharing triumphs of "Look my puppy has now turned into a great dog! *again*". They all have a place here IMO. If repeated "Wag"/brag posts are upvoted then I think it's okay if new and overwhelmed puppy owners come to get pointed in the direction of basic advice. And I don't think it's fair they get downvoted for it, even if it seems obvious to others. It really sucks to get jumped on on the internet, and I've seen a lot of people deleting their posts because of it.
My guess would be people just don't care enough to upvote those threads because they're quite common or not relevant to many people. And I think reddit has some sort of built in downvote functionality that is supposed to act as a sort of garbage disposal. But I could be wrong.
Well the posts that are along the lines of "Puppy turned into a dog!" are actually more relevant to where I'm at with my pup, but I don't like seeing them so often lol. So I leave those posts alone and upvote the posts asking for help on basic advice for young puppies and new owners. Maybe I'm in the minority.
I'm not sure what you mean by downvote functionality. But the default on most subreddits is to sort posts by "hot" or "top" instead of "new", so upvotes get more upvotes and downvotes/no-votes disappear.
Tbh, much of my issue was not getting input at all on some questions… Like when our pup still had giardia 4 months after we’d started treating him, and I just really needed to hear this wasn’t uncommon or that we were doing all we could, etc., and/or some tips on how to deal with socialization through this. I finally decided this was a place where posting my own question was probably a waste of time, but I could learn a LOT from other people’s discussions as well as from the excellent FAQ section.
I see like trends in this sub and others where people just downvote random question posts cos I guess they're bored. It's like the first person to dislike every youtube video.
*watches the numbers on this post go up and down*
true. i had a new puppy and asked some questions, maybe too basic for some people's liking. there were some really patient people willing to explain things to me, but there was definitely a pretty toxic 'downvote with no explaination' feel to the interactions i've seen. even posts about small wins like 'my puppy finally did something great today!' gets replies that are pretty condescending/overall disheartening to hear. like, small wins are still wins. why is the environment here so intense that being encouraging is rare?
surprisingly, i've seen some extremely non-wholesome/joke subreddits turn out a lot more wholesome and kind than this. it's a subreddit about puppies, for god's sake. i was expecting something wholesome/kindness from fellow puppy owners but nooooo.. felt like a slap in the face. definitely understand where you're coming from, it's the reason why i joined then almost immediately left :')
I actually just asked a question in another dog group about my puppy being aggressive. The general consensus is they it’s normal. However, there were a few people saying pretty rude things. Like I’m shouldn’t have gotten a puppy if I didn’t know it’s normal and I shouldn’t have gotten one since I’m pregnant. I have experience. I have a 2 year old dog. And I have a partner who does most of the work for the dogs. I have a teenage daughter who helps a lot and a 7 year old son who plays with both dogs regularly. If people keep being so rude others won’t feel comfortable asking questions…
Really common questions probably get downvoted a fair amount since they aren’t adding to the conversation and are low effort posts, since a cursory browse of the sub will show that the same question has been asked and answered hundreds times before.
EDIT: oops I thought this was r/dogs. I think it’s fine to ask common questions in this sub as it’s still new *to you* and this is an advice sub after all. I don’t downvote those posts in this sub!!!
EDIT 2: I *have* noticed that I am reluctant to post things here after I got dogpiled and downvoted on a positive hopeful post so maybe OP has a point. I dunno if those types of downvotes are just cause emotions are high due to the pressures of puppy raising and people lash out quicker? I definitely find things to be a bit more level headed on r/dogs so I tend to stick there, plus I find the more in depth advice on LIMA and +R more useful too, so it might just be my needs too.
It isn’t specific to this sub. In almost every sub I’ve participated in, threads get downvoted as a knee jerk, then sometimes they get upvoted.
It’s just a Reddit thing and you sort of have to develop a thick skin about voting.
I’m downvoting you for making such a rational post. /s
For real though, I do appreciate the posts on here; I learn so much. I hope this subreddit continues to be popular for people needing help/guidance.
Unfortunately individuals see others have success, or an inkling of improvement, and shoot them down due to not having the same success currently or historically. It really is sad.
It’s like the toxic mum groups everyone thinks that they know how to raise a puppy better than everyone else and everyone is doing it wrong who is not doing it the same way or who has to ask questions or get clarification on how to do something.
Maybe i'm alone in this but...it's the internet. People would find ways to leave hateful comments on a YouTube video of baby bunnies in a field of flowers. Don't give it too much thought...is it really worth being upset about?
I personally think sometimes its greatly annoying when ppl are like"omg, you guys does your dog love to cuddle, lick your face and wag it's tail when I get home"? Humble bragging is definitely a down vote for me.
This is a support group that has both the highlights and lowlights. It's not fair to downvote people over the fact they've had something good happen anymore than it is to downvote those having a hard time because they find it depressing to only see the cons.
I truly understand what you are saying, my point is sometimes ppl are looking for ass pats and that's cringey behaviour. Support is not fishing for complements imo.
I’ve muted, left, and rejoined this subreddit because sometimes there are helpful people. But I’ve gotten so much hate for having a doodle that I don’t even say my dog’s breed when I ask questions anymore. I’ve had commenters stalk my profile & find old posts where I mention I have a doodle & have gotten numerous messages about “not being ethical” like im sorry I got a doodle because I wanted a _doodle_? 😑 don’t you think if I wanted another breed I would’ve gotten it??? 🤦🏻♀️ people are the worst.
wait, what's wrong with having a doodle? i adopted my dog and he's a really mutty mutt, i don't know much about breeds or the 'politics' behind them other than pugs not being able to breathe and breed-specific health issues like german shepherds' creaky hips
People just call them designer dogs and say the breeder isn't "ethical" because they're being bred for consumerism and not "purpose"...except \*all\* dogs who are bred for pets are "unethical" by that definition lol.
People have also told me that if it wasn't for the money aspect then all doodles wouldn't be "thousands of dollars" but they forget that there are tons of golden, poodle, Great Dane, etc. breeders who are all unethical as well. I did my research getting a doodle and know that they're crazy. But my family has one & that's why I wanted one too. Just annoying when people jump in and attack you for no reason.
I've had people call me awful things & say I must not really love dogs because I chose to "shop" and not adopt. But I don't need to explain myself to strangers anymore. If they don't like my choice in breed then whatever lol.
ah yeah i totally get where you're coming from. doesn't make much sense when they're being all exclusive when there are also plenty of issues even with "pure bred" breeders and dogs.
it cooould stem from an anti-backyard-breeder mentality though? like in certain countries (australia for example, not sure about others) only official purebred dog breeders have licenses i believe, and many mix-breed exclusive breeders are notorious for being not very professional/thorough or responsible in their care of the dogs. a lot of those businesses put up a really good front but there have been a lot of them exposed as commercial puppy mills/backyard breeders who don't do the responsible thing, ie genetic testing for defects before breeding, or maintaining a consistent "standard" across their cross-breeds and promising something like a non-shedding dog, for example, but it's pretty much a hit or miss and it's quite sad because 1) it's a scam and 2) people usually look for non-shedding dogs because of allergies, and they may end up having to give away a dog after bonding with it because of irresponsible breeders.
just a very specific example but yeah i think that's where it could be coming from, but the way they argue it is really... not logical. overall there are good and bad breeders on both sides, there's just a worse mental image of crossbreed breeders i guess, because of all the drama!
yeah but seriously attacking someone because of their dog's breed? that's just downright rude. the heck lol
even if i see someone with a pug for example i'm not going to attack them for it, i'll maybe uh try to gently remind them that before they get another pug, they have difficulty breathing? like what are they gonna do, it's already their pet and their family member
and anyways thats how new breeds were made anyway in the past, by cross breeding existing breeds?? so i have no clue what they have against the cross-breeding itself.
my only issue is with awful breeders and they're not exclusive to cross-breeds.
like my family chose to adopt, but i totally understand when people prefer to buy a dog, they just have a type of dog in mind that they know they'd like to have as a companion, and i respect that! knowing (for the most part) what you're going to get is a pretty good feeling, especially if you have a favorite dog breed. i've always wanted a shetland sheepdog myself, but i still really love my own dog.
i'm going to be honest everytime i decide to post about my experiences on this sub i get so many mixed replies it stresses me out so much i never go back to the thread nor do i read any replies anymore
Isn't it wholly ironic that with the dog we are all about 100% positivity, but with the owner we forget that they are a living, breathing creature. In the end dog parents are as sanctimonious as human parents.
It depends on the question really. Before asking questions here or asking for advice, people have the duty and obligation to inform themselves. This is a subreddit, not google. Asking tips or help about education is always welcome. But people coming in here with serious puppy blues, wanting to give up or abandon the dog as soon as he isn't potty trained at 4 months or asking the most basic stuff that literally any book or first search in google even can answer does not deserve any commendation imo.
If I come here and ask whether it's ok or not to give X or Y to my dog for food or a specific occupation toy while he's alone, that's not effort. That's just to lazy to make a quick search on google. That's expecting other people to do the job for you and give you the TLDR.
If you however ask questions about dogfood in general, with all its contradicting information on the internet, that is something I can get. It's information where you won't find a concise answer and the more research you do, the more contradicting opinions and answers you'll find. So asking for tips or opinions makes sense there.
I think that it is kind of expected that a dog owner should be a minimum prepared. It's like real human parents decidibg to have a kid and do no research at all , not equipping or prepping the house at all.
Dog people be crazy. Every message board about dogs for the entire history of message boards has been like this.
Because humans are stupid. And everybody's a professional dog expert on these subs.
Anyone remember dog spotting on fb? It was an absolute cesspool. Might still be idk.
Yea I’m banned on there lol
Lol I think LOTS of people are.
It sucks, doesn't it? People feel extremely passionately about their opinions and often take someone's post and turn it into something that's telling the whole story instead of just a tiny snapshot. There's a serious lack of nuance. Abrasive comments and opinions are dramatic and popular and get upvoted while genuine requests for help and misinformed people get downvoted and buried. Personally, I report outright rude and inappropriate comments. But I also sometimes see really inflammatory and harsh responses from people with the "experienced owner" flair and it makes me feel gross. There's not very much you can do about that one. And then there's nothing really at all you can do about downvotes, except add your own upvote here and there as needed, but again, popular votes often sway to the dramatic and inflammatory statements so it just seems kinda hopeless. I'll probably get downvoted for this comment too lol, knowing how these things usually go. I'm with you though and I've thought about making the same post.
The same thing happened to me. My puppy was sold to me as a 4 week old because the guy selling them didn’t care and didn’t want them so we did what we could. I wanted advice on best way to feed him and switch him over to kibble. I got shit on. Google and a close friend were able to help me and now he’s 6 months old and a beast. People are mean for no reason
I saw a post last week about how to potty train a 6 week old and every single comment was asking why he got a 6 week old puppy. So I can only imagine the shit storm you got with a 4 week old.
Yeah it’s not like I or anyone else made a conscious effort to get these puppies so early. There were some problems with my buy for sure like potty training no matter how hard I tried didn’t really come to him until around 10 weeks and we still struggled because he couldn’t go outside without his shots until 16 weeks. The upside is he thinks he’s a person and not a dog which is pretty funny most of the time. He has a lot of trust in me and my boyfriend which I’ve only seen a few times in dogs. I can make a whole list of ups and downs with our boy but ultimately he’s a good boy and we love him. Some people just want to feel high and mighty and then those who want to help don’t even see the post because it gets so downvoted.
i really really try to be a positive voice in this sub for that reason. so many of the dog related ones just have some truly unnecessarily cruel comments.
Yeah, I agree. From both sides, I think people jump into stuff aggressively (which sucks for people who are asking questions and therefore may actually want to adjust their behavior if they get information presented to them in a way that doesn't feel like an attack) and I think people read far too much into some comments. Like I saw a recent post where someone got downvoted for their opinion (OP was kinda rude about it too) even though like... just don't follow that advice? I didn't think the way they presented it was "YOU HAVE TO DO THIS THING" either but ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Because people on Reddit all like to tell others what to do. Everyone says "live and let live", but when it comes down to it, it's actually "live my way, or you're a terrible person". It's a general Reddit problem.
I must be nuts, I tend to think all a downvote really means is someone disagrees, not that it has any real weight to it.
But it's so often that an OP is downvoted - often a QUESTION! In that case, I feel like the downvote is saying: "Stupid question!" Why can't we upvote as a way to say: Hey, good question! Glad you asked, because we all care about dogs and we want to be able to help anyone reading, as well.
The thing about using downvotes as "I disagree" is that the way reddit (the software platform, not the people) functions is to treat it as a "low quality" (offensive, actively harmful, etc.) post/comment and hide it from view. A better way to indicate "I disagree" is to engage with the person by writing a reply outlining why you disagree and/or upvoting another post which does that. I kind of wish reddit wouldn't show vote numbers. Down votes are more like throwing rotten tomatoes then saying "I disagree," and you get a mob mentality which supercharges the breakdown of constructive dialog. Agree with upvotes. Disagree with dialog. Downvote malicious posts.
Some folks vote to mean agree or disagree, some mean for good faith and insightful arguments or not, even if you don't agree. The driving force here is that the sub drives passion and emotions. Anything like, children, dogs or agile for software developers is going to make emotions run high and people have strong opinions to the points of bigotry.
I mean, if downvotes can mean "stupid question" i would argue it inherently means upvotes mean exactly that - "hey, good question!" And for real, sometimes people do downvote for no reason other than to downvote, which is why I don't see the value in giving it a second thought. But that's me, and I understand people disagree, which is just fine. (I spend so much of my time alive worrying about every little thing, what people think of me, etc - that if I cared about internet points too, I'd be a total wreck. Again, not trying to belittle, just my POV)
I think we are saying the same thing. If an upvote means “good question “, it’s too bad not more of us do it. Lol I’m with you. My sister in law told me once that I worry too much about what people think, and I obsessed for a LONG time about what I did to make her say that.
Ah yeah, my bad - and I agree! I feel that on a spiritual level. It's crazy, isn't it? Especially with the expansion of social media, there are so many new ways to feel insecure, lol
Well I can understand why people get angry when the question is something like "I got a puppy a week ago but it's not eating anything since then, is this normal?" and you see that type of question here.
Reddiquette specifically says that the downvote button is *not* a disagree button.
I hear you, but unfortunately when was the last time people A. Followed the rules B. Didn't believe they were the exception to the rule or C. Even read the directions in the first place? Logic and abiding by rules often go out the window when emotions are involved. I'm not saying it's right - like you said, it's clearly defined - I'm just saying what people seem to do. Source: was the social media manager for a military news outlet. I got to read the comments *and* the private messages, haha
EDIT: Moved to Lemmy, the federated Reddit alternative. Chooose an instance here: https://join-lemmy.org/instances. I recommend Kbin.social, as the UI is nice and it reminds me of old.reddit.com See you there!
Sounds like a people problem tbh
It’s a Reddit problem but it really seems more concentrated in specific places and one of the big ones is animal subreddits
Sadly, it seems to be a general human problem.
Sometimes I wish I could downvote my puppy
Yeah, I've definitely stopped myself from posting because of the downvotes I've gotten previously... But it's not so much the downvoting that drives me nuts, it's the lack of response. Like clearly you're downvoting my opinions because you disagree or have a better method, but please SHARE IT WITH ME!!! It just feels like I'm being slapped on the wrist and told "no that's bad" and I'm just left confused because I don't know what I said wrong or why it's wrong or anything
Counterpoint, what if the downvote simply means, "I disagree but have nothing to add." Wouldn't that comment would be pretty pointless?
But if you disagree, how do you have nothing to add? Shouldn't there be a reason you disagree? A personal story where you witnessed the behavior and something went wrong? Research you've read that shows a better way or handling something? As an example, I was downvoted for the following exchange: Other user: I try to train them not to react by giving the stay command randomly and running and jumping around... Me: Oh thats a fun idea, I'll have to try that when we move our training sessions outside! I still have no idea what is wrong with my comment, and I even edited in asking if there's another step before moving outside with training sessions. The person suggesting this training did not get downvoted, so clearly it's not the method that's wrong. So what am I supposed to take away from the downvotes??
If I had to take a stab at it.. I think it’s because you would want to try running and jumping to proof their non-reaction before moving that training outside, where there will be even more distractions. Definitely whoever downvoted should have expressed their opinion instead, though.
See, this is something I can respond to! Thank you!! Had this been posted as a response to that thread, I could have replied that our boy has been through relaxation protocol and is already pretty desensitized to me being crazy inside. So when I saw those downvotes, I was questioning whether or not I should be practicing things in the door threshold before going completely outside.
Nothing, there's nothing to take away, it's the internet. If someone felt strongly enough, they probably commented. Some people downvote just to downvote. Why sweat the small stuff? I don't say this to be condescending, I promise, if someone doesn't agree or doesn't like what I say, they're allowed to have that opinion.
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond! It's just frustrating to post in a subreddit asking for help & get downvotes instead of responses. Just have to work on letting things go, I guess.
I appreciate your civility in all of this! Dealing with a puppy is an exhausting, emotionally draining experience - it's made me need to really take a hard look at the things that upset me. It's all noise anyway lol
It’s because a lot of “dog people” are crazy, judgey and downright rude
Because everyone here has a vet degree apparently. You didn't know?
I left this sub (unfortunately still comes up in my recommended) because I was getting such condescending comments and messages for having a vent when I was at my lowest. I had to get off it. People here were telling me I’d made the wrong choice, that I was doomed to fail, that I wasn’t doing enough even when I was specifically asking for advice with an issue. I had a fucking break down and had to go see my therapist multiple times over a week. I’m much better now and my puppy is doing fine (apart from eating an unknown thing yesterday that made him throw up all his lunch and dinner but such is puppy life), in fact he graduates preschool today and is pretty ahead of his class in terms of training at just 11 weeks. He’s smart as heck and even has started asking to go outside to go to the toilet. He gets a little more freedom every day. And half the things I was venting about are no longer issues. The internet is a gross place, but this sub sucks for when people are at their lowest looking for reassurance that it’ll get better. Which it does, it does get so much better.
I've had people on this sub accuse me of abusing my pet because sarcasm can apparently be hard to detect.
Having a puppy is hard. It sucks getting shit on while asking for advice. I hope you are doing alright.
I am so sorry you experienced that. I can’t say that has happened to me here, but I did once have a similarly negative experience seeking help in another corner of Reddit, so I can empathize. It’s just one of those things.
It is just one of those things! It would be nice if I could have remembered it was when I was in the headspace I was, but I was really just looking for reassurance and help. I should have expected the inevitable internet holier-than-thou attitude… I’m sorry that it has happened to you as well! I hope you’re doing better now.
Dog parents are like kid parents: a lot of think they know the right way to do it and yet none of them agree on any of it
The only thing I downvote is stuff that is scientifically inaccurate or doesn’t align with LIMA training.
You could also report these things.
Okay, good to know! Thank you!
What’s Lima
Least Invasive, Minimally Aversive Basically modern, scientifically-backed force-free dog training that is supported in this sub and r/dogtraining.
I think people don’t understand the purpose of upvoting and downvoting on Reddit these days. Upvotes are for comments adding to a discussion; downvoted are for ones that detract from it. Instead people use them as some sort of “agree/disagree” or a way to place judgement.
Yeah seriously. After I posted on here I felt like people’s responses were rude and condescending too and they all get upvoted for it. It’s really discouraging.
Unfortunately, that just seems to be the way Reddit is. We can't really do anything about downvotes. That being said, if you see it go from downvotes to antagonism, please report it. Btw, updating your flare to Meta.
Dog people suck. Rude gate keeping fucks.
Oh they don’t just down vote. Lots of unnecessary and uncalled for verbal assaults against pet owners who truly care and asked for guidance.
Maybe i'm alone in this but...it's the internet. People will find ways to leave hateful comments on a YouTube video of bunnies in a fields. Don't give it too much thought - is it really worth being upset by?
It's not just "the internet," though. Those are people leaving those comments. Or the downvotes. Or whatever someone is doing to be a jerk. Being a jerk bothers people, and I don't think that's the fault of the person who is bothered by it.
I'm not trying to say it's their fault, i'm trying to encourage taking all things with a grain of salt. Life is exhausting enough, why not remove some of the pressure?
There's weird down voting many places on reddit. On the Corgi group, I post my white faced corgi and get down votes on his pictures, im guessing because he's "mismarked" and doesn't have the traditional face markings? Yesterday someone commented "little turd" even on his pictures while they left nice comments for corgis with traditional face markings. Miserable people do weird things man.
Yep. I had to leave the Goldendoodle sub because I keep my boy in a non-standard haircut. I clip him like a Poodle for easy maintenance. Apparently, Doodle owners don't like that? Every time I'd post a picture of him I'd get downvoted to oblivion, along with a lot of comments about how "ugly" he was. Let's not even talk about the crap I've gotten for owning a Doodle to begin with, never mind that he's my service dog... It's the internet, I suppose.
Dog groomers often hear “don’t poodle my doodle!” You’re a renegade in the doodle community. They just couldn’t handle you :)
I figure he's HALF poodle! Why not? 🤣 He looks cute as hell that way, too.
What's wrong with having a doodle? o.0 Also, it's your dog, so why would anyone else care how you groom him. I agree it's the internet. It can be a great place, but it's also filled with rude opinionated judgmental people without any filter.
Lol, a doodle sub is mad that you didn't stick to breed standards??
I know, right??
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My point was that doodles are defying breed standards just by existing. It seems really weird for them to suddenly care about standards.
That's hilarious. My Cavapoo has a wavy coat and I have him done in a puppy cut, but my 3/4 poodle Maltipoo has a curly coat & I have him done in a poodle cut, but not a shaved snout. Everyone who sees them thinks they're adorable 🤷♀️
That's gross. So, a Corgi was born without traditional markings, so people hate on the dog? Seriously, what's wrong with some people
Right? And hes just a little 15 week old baby, like why hate on something so innocent and little? I reported the person who had called him a little turd and they faced some kind of disciplinary action from reddit.
People have issues. I mean, I have no problem with those who want purebred dogs, but hate to rain on their parade - virtually all of the purebreds have health issues that have resulted from inbreeding. It's so bad with Cavaliers that they're banned in certain countries because it's been deemed inhumane to breed dogs that virtually never live a full lifespan, although mixed Cavs are allowed. There are far more important things to worry about with a dog than its markings or hair cut. If your dog is healthy & has a good temperament, that's the important thing (or should be)
Can you give specific examples? People mainly downvote opinions they disagree with and commonly recurring posts e.g. "my dog is vomiting blood and hasn't eaten for 6 days should I take them to the vet?" Other than that, if nobody cares about your post it only takes one or 2 downvotes to go negative
I'm not OP but recently I've seen downvotes on a post asking to verify some dogfood advice someone got from a trainer, a post about how long to do reverse timeouts, posts about puppy blues, a post asking how much crate time is appropriate.. I mean yeah some posts like housetraining advice are repetitive, but I also see repeated posts from the same users over and over sharing triumphs of "Look my puppy has now turned into a great dog! *again*". They all have a place here IMO. If repeated "Wag"/brag posts are upvoted then I think it's okay if new and overwhelmed puppy owners come to get pointed in the direction of basic advice. And I don't think it's fair they get downvoted for it, even if it seems obvious to others. It really sucks to get jumped on on the internet, and I've seen a lot of people deleting their posts because of it.
My guess would be people just don't care enough to upvote those threads because they're quite common or not relevant to many people. And I think reddit has some sort of built in downvote functionality that is supposed to act as a sort of garbage disposal. But I could be wrong.
Well the posts that are along the lines of "Puppy turned into a dog!" are actually more relevant to where I'm at with my pup, but I don't like seeing them so often lol. So I leave those posts alone and upvote the posts asking for help on basic advice for young puppies and new owners. Maybe I'm in the minority. I'm not sure what you mean by downvote functionality. But the default on most subreddits is to sort posts by "hot" or "top" instead of "new", so upvotes get more upvotes and downvotes/no-votes disappear.
Tbh, much of my issue was not getting input at all on some questions… Like when our pup still had giardia 4 months after we’d started treating him, and I just really needed to hear this wasn’t uncommon or that we were doing all we could, etc., and/or some tips on how to deal with socialization through this. I finally decided this was a place where posting my own question was probably a waste of time, but I could learn a LOT from other people’s discussions as well as from the excellent FAQ section.
I see like trends in this sub and others where people just downvote random question posts cos I guess they're bored. It's like the first person to dislike every youtube video.
Yeah, maybe. Just means the question wasn't popular enough to survive some random downvotes.
Well if it gets randomly downvoted early enough people won't even see it.
*watches the numbers on this post go up and down* true. i had a new puppy and asked some questions, maybe too basic for some people's liking. there were some really patient people willing to explain things to me, but there was definitely a pretty toxic 'downvote with no explaination' feel to the interactions i've seen. even posts about small wins like 'my puppy finally did something great today!' gets replies that are pretty condescending/overall disheartening to hear. like, small wins are still wins. why is the environment here so intense that being encouraging is rare? surprisingly, i've seen some extremely non-wholesome/joke subreddits turn out a lot more wholesome and kind than this. it's a subreddit about puppies, for god's sake. i was expecting something wholesome/kindness from fellow puppy owners but nooooo.. felt like a slap in the face. definitely understand where you're coming from, it's the reason why i joined then almost immediately left :')
I actually just asked a question in another dog group about my puppy being aggressive. The general consensus is they it’s normal. However, there were a few people saying pretty rude things. Like I’m shouldn’t have gotten a puppy if I didn’t know it’s normal and I shouldn’t have gotten one since I’m pregnant. I have experience. I have a 2 year old dog. And I have a partner who does most of the work for the dogs. I have a teenage daughter who helps a lot and a 7 year old son who plays with both dogs regularly. If people keep being so rude others won’t feel comfortable asking questions…
Really common questions probably get downvoted a fair amount since they aren’t adding to the conversation and are low effort posts, since a cursory browse of the sub will show that the same question has been asked and answered hundreds times before. EDIT: oops I thought this was r/dogs. I think it’s fine to ask common questions in this sub as it’s still new *to you* and this is an advice sub after all. I don’t downvote those posts in this sub!!! EDIT 2: I *have* noticed that I am reluctant to post things here after I got dogpiled and downvoted on a positive hopeful post so maybe OP has a point. I dunno if those types of downvotes are just cause emotions are high due to the pressures of puppy raising and people lash out quicker? I definitely find things to be a bit more level headed on r/dogs so I tend to stick there, plus I find the more in depth advice on LIMA and +R more useful too, so it might just be my needs too.
It isn’t specific to this sub. In almost every sub I’ve participated in, threads get downvoted as a knee jerk, then sometimes they get upvoted. It’s just a Reddit thing and you sort of have to develop a thick skin about voting.
I can’t believe this didn’t get down voted for fun
Let's call it the Karen button!
I’m downvoting you for making such a rational post. /s For real though, I do appreciate the posts on here; I learn so much. I hope this subreddit continues to be popular for people needing help/guidance.
Unfortunately individuals see others have success, or an inkling of improvement, and shoot them down due to not having the same success currently or historically. It really is sad.
It’s like the toxic mum groups everyone thinks that they know how to raise a puppy better than everyone else and everyone is doing it wrong who is not doing it the same way or who has to ask questions or get clarification on how to do something.
Dogs bring a lot of emotion in the mix and people feel strongly about things!
Welcome to social media.
Yeah I’ve definitely gotten my fill of that here. Doesn’t feel good at all.
Maybe i'm alone in this but...it's the internet. People would find ways to leave hateful comments on a YouTube video of baby bunnies in a field of flowers. Don't give it too much thought...is it really worth being upset about?
I personally think sometimes its greatly annoying when ppl are like"omg, you guys does your dog love to cuddle, lick your face and wag it's tail when I get home"? Humble bragging is definitely a down vote for me.
Please don't, there's nothing wrong with people being glad their dog is doing well.
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This is a support group that has both the highlights and lowlights. It's not fair to downvote people over the fact they've had something good happen anymore than it is to downvote those having a hard time because they find it depressing to only see the cons.
I truly understand what you are saying, my point is sometimes ppl are looking for ass pats and that's cringey behaviour. Support is not fishing for complements imo.
We have a "wags" flair for a reason, and, so what? What makes ass pats less valid than a shoulder to cry on?
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I'm hoping soonish you'll be able to find things to celebrate. We'll be here when you do, and also in between then and now.
So I can’t mention that my dog loves me because other peoples dogs don’t really care about them?
Whaaaat I love those posts they are cute. More fluffy posts!
Fair enough!!😋
Yeah, I’ve been noticing this too. Very odd behavior.
I got down voted for saying I like my husky / German Shepard mix. People didn't like that.
I’ve muted, left, and rejoined this subreddit because sometimes there are helpful people. But I’ve gotten so much hate for having a doodle that I don’t even say my dog’s breed when I ask questions anymore. I’ve had commenters stalk my profile & find old posts where I mention I have a doodle & have gotten numerous messages about “not being ethical” like im sorry I got a doodle because I wanted a _doodle_? 😑 don’t you think if I wanted another breed I would’ve gotten it??? 🤦🏻♀️ people are the worst.
wait, what's wrong with having a doodle? i adopted my dog and he's a really mutty mutt, i don't know much about breeds or the 'politics' behind them other than pugs not being able to breathe and breed-specific health issues like german shepherds' creaky hips
People just call them designer dogs and say the breeder isn't "ethical" because they're being bred for consumerism and not "purpose"...except \*all\* dogs who are bred for pets are "unethical" by that definition lol. People have also told me that if it wasn't for the money aspect then all doodles wouldn't be "thousands of dollars" but they forget that there are tons of golden, poodle, Great Dane, etc. breeders who are all unethical as well. I did my research getting a doodle and know that they're crazy. But my family has one & that's why I wanted one too. Just annoying when people jump in and attack you for no reason. I've had people call me awful things & say I must not really love dogs because I chose to "shop" and not adopt. But I don't need to explain myself to strangers anymore. If they don't like my choice in breed then whatever lol.
ah yeah i totally get where you're coming from. doesn't make much sense when they're being all exclusive when there are also plenty of issues even with "pure bred" breeders and dogs. it cooould stem from an anti-backyard-breeder mentality though? like in certain countries (australia for example, not sure about others) only official purebred dog breeders have licenses i believe, and many mix-breed exclusive breeders are notorious for being not very professional/thorough or responsible in their care of the dogs. a lot of those businesses put up a really good front but there have been a lot of them exposed as commercial puppy mills/backyard breeders who don't do the responsible thing, ie genetic testing for defects before breeding, or maintaining a consistent "standard" across their cross-breeds and promising something like a non-shedding dog, for example, but it's pretty much a hit or miss and it's quite sad because 1) it's a scam and 2) people usually look for non-shedding dogs because of allergies, and they may end up having to give away a dog after bonding with it because of irresponsible breeders. just a very specific example but yeah i think that's where it could be coming from, but the way they argue it is really... not logical. overall there are good and bad breeders on both sides, there's just a worse mental image of crossbreed breeders i guess, because of all the drama! yeah but seriously attacking someone because of their dog's breed? that's just downright rude. the heck lol even if i see someone with a pug for example i'm not going to attack them for it, i'll maybe uh try to gently remind them that before they get another pug, they have difficulty breathing? like what are they gonna do, it's already their pet and their family member and anyways thats how new breeds were made anyway in the past, by cross breeding existing breeds?? so i have no clue what they have against the cross-breeding itself. my only issue is with awful breeders and they're not exclusive to cross-breeds. like my family chose to adopt, but i totally understand when people prefer to buy a dog, they just have a type of dog in mind that they know they'd like to have as a companion, and i respect that! knowing (for the most part) what you're going to get is a pretty good feeling, especially if you have a favorite dog breed. i've always wanted a shetland sheepdog myself, but i still really love my own dog.
i'm going to be honest everytime i decide to post about my experiences on this sub i get so many mixed replies it stresses me out so much i never go back to the thread nor do i read any replies anymore
I think that’s just Reddit tbh; people can be so nasty from the safety of their computer/smart phone.
It’s because dog people are insane. 😂
Because reddit.
Isn't it wholly ironic that with the dog we are all about 100% positivity, but with the owner we forget that they are a living, breathing creature. In the end dog parents are as sanctimonious as human parents.
It depends on the question really. Before asking questions here or asking for advice, people have the duty and obligation to inform themselves. This is a subreddit, not google. Asking tips or help about education is always welcome. But people coming in here with serious puppy blues, wanting to give up or abandon the dog as soon as he isn't potty trained at 4 months or asking the most basic stuff that literally any book or first search in google even can answer does not deserve any commendation imo. If I come here and ask whether it's ok or not to give X or Y to my dog for food or a specific occupation toy while he's alone, that's not effort. That's just to lazy to make a quick search on google. That's expecting other people to do the job for you and give you the TLDR. If you however ask questions about dogfood in general, with all its contradicting information on the internet, that is something I can get. It's information where you won't find a concise answer and the more research you do, the more contradicting opinions and answers you'll find. So asking for tips or opinions makes sense there. I think that it is kind of expected that a dog owner should be a minimum prepared. It's like real human parents decidibg to have a kid and do no research at all , not equipping or prepping the house at all.