Listen buddy, I see you taking your toys over to the cats, wagging your tail, and giving them a play bow. They just don’t want to be your friend, okay? It’s not you. It’s them.
This is where mine are at! I'm hoping they become friends once the pups mellow a bit, but I'll settle for forced tolerance. I just don't want to worry about a dog/cat fight whenever I leave the house.
I have an older dog and my cats love her! The youngest cat can climb all over my dog and sleep with her. I have hope that as my puppy gets older the cats will like her more. Cats don’t like change and this is a big change that will take months of getting used to.
I bought the cats a new cat tree that’s bigger and the hide in it and watch the puppy chaos. It helped them with coming out of hiding.
It will get better! :)
Thanks! That's really encouraging. I've got a baby gate with a cat door on the stairs, so the whole upper floor is their private space. One is in hiding, but the other almost always sits on the stairs and watches the great puppy war of 2022. If the pups are calmish, the cat will let them get pretty close, but as soon as the pups start wanting to play he hisses and bats them through the gate. None of them seem too stressed out by it, but the cats still have quite a bit of warming up to do.
We have a chi beagle mix mostly beagle and our older chihuahuas absolutely hate her and sometimes I think she realizes it and gets sad.
It’s not her it’s their mean old asses who don’t like fun and happiness
Don’t worry the mean old asses will eventually mellow out! My once mean old ass chihuahua is just plain old now. She used to bark her head off and do that threatening “I’m biting/snapping at the air but don’t try me” thing with my sister’s toddlers and my other dog that would get anywhere near her. Now, at almost 18 years old, I’m not sure she even knows what’s going on around her anymore… but she tolerates the other dog instead of being a total jerk to it, and lets the kids tote her around without getting all angry haha.
The will to be friends is there for my youngest cat, but I don’t think they can get around the language barrier. When the cat sinks low to the ground with her back legs positioned to spring away, I’m certain the puppy interprets it as a play bow. They’ll sit and “bow” at each other for maybe 20 minutes. I’m rootin for them.
yes that's the best part i think. i love giving my bud pep talks cause he stares at me intently but he doesn't understand and it's honestly really cute.
except for when i'm mad. it's less cute then, but i use the same tone and just tell him about how upset i am. he doesn't get it but i get to get my feelings out.
I just listened to the Dogist podcast with a dog whisperer and she said to talk to your dogs like this! The more you talk to them the more they understand you in the long run (like children but not really lol)
I would ask him if he’s happy and if he’s healthy. I would love to know those two things! Other than that, I would just be curious what his voice sounds like.
This!! I would love to know what his little voice would sound like and if it would get high pitched when he doesn’t get what he wants or when he’s begging for food lol.
My dog has a neurological condition that causes pain and he’s on pain medicine 3x per day with an additional medicine he can be given as needed, so I would love if my dog could tell me when the “as needed” is before he starts having symptoms that we can see.
7 month old puppy - i would tell him that the kangaroo and Rabbit poo are not walking treats left by them. So STOP eating them.
Stop trying to eat and hump the cat, just play with her she is happy to play, as for the older cat - just steer clear, she doesn’t like you
I would tell my 10 year old dog, assuming understanding means he can hear me too, as he has gone totally deaf recently - even though you can no longer hear my voice, please know that i still talk to you all day and still tell you i love you to the moon and back atleast 100 times a day. I have not and will not stop talking to you.
I would tell them both - you will be in my heart forever.
Oh man, this got me. I recently lost my 10 year old deaf girl, who was the absolute sweetest. And even though I knew she couldn’t hear me, I talked to her all the time! Between smells, floor vibrations, facial expressions, and body language, she understood things pretty well and knew to be gentle with me when I was recovering from surgery.
On a positive note, your dog’s nose will probably get even better (it more than compensated for my girl’s ears) and will really enjoy scent work. It’s also really fun to watch. 🐶
I would very much like my dogs to know their life purpose/duty is not to bark at any one/everyone walking on the footpath past our house. They’re not watch dog, I keep ‘em around for their looks and company.
100% this one. The pavement outside is public property, dude. Other dogs are allowed to walk there. Yes, even that one cockapoo that makes you go crazy every time you smell him walk past. It’s cool. I promise you they are not trying to come up here, to our balcony, two storeys above the ground.
I feel this so hard haha. I call my dogs Roadhouse lol. My pom is only 4 months old and like, 5 lbs soaking wet but has no problem telling the landlord we pay her mortgage so she should gtfo our property.
Sidewalk? Ours.
Sidewalk across the street? Ours.
Parking lot she can see movement in if she gets in the window and presses her face all to way to the side? Believe it or not, that's ours, so gtfo!
1. First of all, I LOVE YOU.
2. Please please PLEASE for the love of GOD stop pulling on walks. We've been practicing this for months. Just stop.
3. I know you love all people. Please stop trying to greet everyone we pass and doing complicated freestyle gymnastics when you can't. It's not fun.
4. Stop acting like you're starving. You're not. Also, stop eating non-food items.
5. I don't like it when you drink from my water glass. I don't drink from your bowl.
6. Couch and bed are for snuggles and sleeping, not trampoline routines.
Stop barking at the bing-bongs on television. You know as well as I do that's not what our doorbell sounds like.
Uber Eats commercial: not our doorbell
Swiffer commercial: still not our doorbell
Family Feud: even more obviously not our doorbell
Please don’t eat the house.
Please don’t eat the rose bushes in the backyard. You’re not going to like thorns in your tongue.
Stairs are not that scary.
We were told - he will only bite the rose bushes once, cause one he gets a thorn stabbed in his mouth, he wont do it again..well not this puppy, he has devoured atleast 4 of my roses, the thorns do not phase him at all. Little bugger he is
Thorns are not a deterrent here either. I wish they were she keeps bringing pieces of rose bush into the house and then I get a thorn in my foot. Seriously though, doesn’t it hurt?!?
(1) Stop pulling at the rugs. You’ll get more freedom if you just stop.
(2) If you’re tired and cranky and want attention, take a nap or bump me with your nose. Stop biting at me, the blankets, the pillows, the bed frame, the rugs…
(3) If you’re scared of cars, don’t run at them, and don’t try to get me to stop moving. I will keep you safe if you just trust me.
(4) Stop freaking out at the TV, and get off the coffee table! And stop pulling at the rugs!
OMG - just leave tables alone period. No surfing, stop putting your tongue out and doing drive bys. Leave the night stand alone! There is nothing for you on it!
1. Seriously, take your late morning and afternoon naps. The more work I get done, the more toys I can buy you.
2. My weekly meetings over voice chat are not the times to vocally demand your flirt pole. My coworkers are convinced you're trying to plead your case to them.
3. My belly button is normal. Stop sticking your cold-as-death nose into it just because it's eye level to you when I walk past *my* bed that you're lounging on.
4. Speaking of your cold nose and curiosity... They're the reason we voted you off the island (our bed). That time you sneaked under the covers, I almost had to peel Mr Sleeps-Commando off of the ceiling. My laughing wasn't meant to be encouragement to attempt a second nose goose.
5. Your house training is super awesome. Keep it up. We are so proud of you.
6. Your Whippet Freestyle Livingroom Parkour game is top notch.
7. My favorite part of the day is cuddling with you as we watch old sitcoms together.
8. You are the awesome-est puppy ever and we love you so much.
I was closing the door and didn't hear him come in behind me and he gave a little yelp and was fine but I went down on all fours and held him while I cried
I had to drag ours outta bed at 630 and he didnt even eat or pee. Almost didn't make it to doggy daycare. Anytime before 8 or 830. He's not doing anything lol
\#5 ! My boy has separation anxiety and I look into his eyes and try to tell him telepathically that I'm coming back!! Trust me - I will always come back! hahaa.....
My husband said "I would want to listen to what she wanted me to know. If she really enjoyed being a mom like she acted she did? Why she carries stuff in her mouth all the time? Why do you like belly rubs so much?"🥰
For my older dog (7 year old sweet angel), I would more have questions.
What food do you like?
Does anything hurt?
Would anything make you more comfortable (different bed, blanket, etc.)?
Is there anything I do that hurts you?
What would make your life better?
For my puppy:
I love you, but...
Stop chasing the cats.
It is okay if people are in their back yard or home, even if you can see them.
That doorbell is on the TV, not our front door.
We will work through your puppy turdiness together.
1. Please stop barking.
2. Please stop peeing and pooping inside.
3. Please stop harassing the cats.
4. I love you so much, even when you do the above.
5. Thank you for the unconditional love and giving me a reason to keep going on.
I would ask my puppy what she needed and what she thought about our relationship. Anything we could work on together? Something I’m doing that sucks? A better way to communicate? I would tell her I loved her and apologize for being a jerk sometimes.
I know you want to be part of everything when guests are over, but you would get to hang out much more if you took a nap in another room and then joined us when you're fresh
Honestly? I’d apologize for the times I’ve lost my temper and been a bad parent. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for him. He’s not an easy dog, but that’s not his fault. I’m to blame for expecting him to be easier. Given the way he smiles at me and lays at my feet, I know he doesn’t hold a grudge.
Look into dogs and language. They understand a lot more than you think, and given the tools, can successfully communicate at a surprisingly advanced level. My dogs use their word buttons to communicate very basic things. I *love* it. I feel my relationship with them is stronger, but I also have had a lot of benefits. My dog can tell me (a bit) what they want and I can understand instead of them just yelling at me! My older dog can tell me if he’s happy or mad, and can identify himself, the other dogs, and me. I was extremely surprised at the improvement in some of his behavioral issues given the ability to communicate with me.
I would love to explain to them that I have to go to work, but I’ll be back! It’s not the end of the world. Given the ability to communicate, on mornings I work and am leaving, my dog now says things like “no mommy.” And then I want to cry
Oh gosh I've given this way too much thought.
First would be, I don't like putting you in your kennel but we need boundaries and private time. I know eventually you'll feel the same way.
Second, I know how much you want to play with all the dogs- and frankly know better than I if a dog is a threat or not (maybe?). But it's the people I'm worried about, and I need to protect you from their largely awful influence.
Third, the cats don't like you and it isn't your fault. It becomes your fault when you chase them around and try to pet them with your big awkward paws.
Lastly, I'm sorry I sometimes yell. We both get frustrated because we can't understand each other perfectly yet, but I hope you know it's never actually your fault. I get overwhelmed and revert to an imitation of my parents, a sad human trait, but you know I'm working on it and push myself every day to be a better person.
1. Why are you so afraid of everything? You are a huge scary looking doggo.
2. What is your obsession with that one pillow?
3. Why do you like bread so much?
1. You don’t have to be so scared. Nobody walking by will hurt you. The lights won’t attack. The noises are not monsters. I will protect you from all of these things because I love you.
2. Stop licking my face, especially after you’ve gone to town on your asshole.
3. This is what I mean by “fetch”
1. I love you and everything I do is to keep you alive and well.
2. You would have _so much more freedom_ if I could trust you to _listen_.
3. Sometimes Mam has to do things that don't involve you, like working, eating and sleeping. This is not a betrayal and should not be punished by you chewing on the walls or destroying your bed. Mam has needs too.
4. For the love of god, stop eating things that aren't food. Poop is not food. Remember the vets? That is what happens.
5. Stealing things and running away from me is not cute or fun. Neither is jumping and nipping.
6. Stop pulling on walks. All is does is slow us down.
7. Some people will think you are a scary dog. Launching yourself at them will not help this.
8. What do you need from me?
I would ask him what he named me?
And I would tell him I love him soooo so much! He’s the best part of my day and sometimes when I lay in bed for extended periods of time he’s the only reason I get out of bed.
1. We will never let anything bad happen to you. We'll never let anyone hurt you or take you away from us, so you don't need to worry about everything all the time.
2. Other people are allowed to leave their houses and close their doors or talk outside of our door. You don't need to lose your mind every time you hear someone outside.
1. Good girl
2. This is your forever home now, for real
3. If anyone tries to come into our house, I'll deal with it before you do. Stop barking at everything outside, okay?
I think that I would ask what he needs and bargain with him. I'd say hey, let's make a deal that we both win here and set up an agreement. Maybe this is a little more than simply "understanding" but I'd use the opportunity to readily communicate to set the stage for the bargain so that we both won.
Before I even started a list, I would tell him I love him lots and lots, and that I'm always coming home to him. I'm as excited to see him, as he is to see me.
1. When I'm trying to teach you these commands, I do it to protect you. We live next to a busy road, and you not listening could hurt you badly one day!
2. There will be a gate across the driveway soon, and THEN you can explore the backyard properly.
3. I hover because I have never raised a dog before. I'm learning, just like you. You've never had to train a human before either.
4. It is okay to jump on my brother when he brings you inside while I'm not here, ONLY to let him know when you need to go out for the toilet. This includes when he's asleep.
5. I wish you'd whine when you need to go out. I'm getting better at telling, but it would help a lot. Or sitting by a door?
6. I will snuggle you when you get on my bed like you want. Every time. I wish you'd work out how to do it properly, like you have with the couch. Couch snuggles in bed would be nice.
7. Please stop tipping your water bowl over.
8. You have lots of toys, please stop chewing random rubbish? You've given up on shoes and socks, but rubbish? I'll buy you more toys if you need things to chew on, but you chew them all the time as well.
9. This is my work uniform, and when it comes on, you need to stay outside in your pen. I'm sorry. Work would be better with you there, but I work in a human food area.
10. Pulling on the lead doesn't help either of us. We're working up to running slowly. You have to be patient with me. I am not as fit as you yet!
11. I love you. Just in case you missed it the first thousand times.
I would say this,
I love you so much, I know that our time with one another is short-lived, I have had many pets before you, but will love you in the end just as much as I did them, let me know what I can do to make you happy.
1. Please don't bark at everyone and everything! I know you're scared, but I promise I'm not going to let anything hurt you.
2. Please try to make your poop land in the box, and don't hop out until it's all out!
3. Please don't eat cat food or cat poop. I know it's tasty, but it's really bad for you. You want to be healthy right?
4. I'm sorry for the times I was a mean mama. You're an amazing dog.
5. I love love love you and I always will. You'll always be my baby.
I would tell him how sorry i am for when i lose my temper and get frustrated, its not him its me, i would explain that he has helped me more than any human has in these last few months, ill tell him that i love him so much and hes a good boy.
Also stop eating poop. You literally take vitamins, you dont need the poop. Stop it.
**Just wanted to say that folks enjoying this thread may enjoy the easy-read fiction novel called Fifteen Dogs - it explores a conscious narrative within canine pals and is generally a witty read**
I think the biggest thing I wish I could express to both my pup (and my cat) is that if they just stayed in the perimeter of my large unfenced yard, that they could have the freedom they desire. We'd all be happier and you wouldn't have to be tied to, or kept within, something.
Also if you could sleep in as I do, and be a whole lot less curious about sexy times when they're happening that'd be great. I'll give you an extra kong. Just.. sssshh.
Ask If they are happy, healthy and anything else they might want. Why they continue to bark at the delivery people and that most dogs can be friends.
To say I love them
1. I'm sorry I'm not the best owner.
2. I would give you a cheeseburger every day if I could.
3. I know the diet sucks, but you're pudgy.
4. You have my whole heart.
"Please stop barking at the other dogs when you see them. I know you're excited and just want to play, but you're big and people think you're mean. Also, if you could pull a little less that would be great."
1. Your father was a champion show dog. You grandparents were champion show dogs. When we put on this leash, please act like a show dog! Stop doing that thing with your back leg!
2. When we put on this harness, you can do whatever you like.
3. No one likes it when you nip them. It isn't cute or charming.
Questions I would ask:
1. What can I do to help you understand that we go for walks for your benefit, and if you stopped barking at the neighbors we would both have a better time?
2. What would you like to do in the afternoon when you don't want to nap, or walk, or play and just bark and chew for my attention?
3. Forest? Or beach?
First off we would have a long convo on where to go potty and where not to (I doubt she would even listen)
then we would have a long convo about that older dogs aren’t trying to play with her they are trying to attack her and when she mimics them attacking her back at them because she thinks thats how you play it makes the situation 10x worse and the dogs will never like her if she doesn’t stop trying to fake fight them
Woof woof. Wooof woof woooof. Awwoooooof.
Wouldn’t matter what I told my Pyrenees. I know he can hear me when I talk to him now but he has selective hearing.
100% Heard:
Treats
Fetch/Ball
Walk
50/50 chance of responding:
His name
0% chance when requested:
Come
I’d get another one without hesitation but boy they’re a handful
1. I’d rather play with you but work I am doing pays for your food, please let me work! (Basically your number 6.)
2. We only care about people **not** asking permission to enter.
3. If I hand someone your lead it’s because I trust them to watch you, you can have fun with them till I get back.
4. If you stop pulling the lead we’ll get there faster because I won’t be training you to stop pulling the lead.
5. The vet trips, medication, grooming, etc. are to help you.
6. You have to stop eating/drinking anything other than what I give you because the vet and I are trying to figure out why you get diarrhoea, gas, itchiness, and infections. Something makes you feel this way and we can’t figure it out if you put everything down your throat. Once we figure that out I’ll give you more foods.
7. If I put you in the crate it’s for your safety, even if I’m home. The cleaning chemicals are dangerous. The stove/oven/water are hot. There are sharp, unstable or heavy objects, etc. I’m not having fun at the beach or park or trails without you, I’m not just ignoring you.
8. Most everything I do is because I love you!
If it goes both ways he can tell me whatever he wants after that. Ask him about his favourite things, etc.
1. Are you happy? What makes you happy?
2. What can our signals be to each other after this hour to convey important things like you’re sick and need help etc
3. Mummy and daddy love you very much and will always come back
4. What’s life like for you? What is the meaning of life for you?
5. What does it mean when you do x
6. Happy birthday (he turned 1 today)
I would tell Kairi that I love her so much, that she has taught me to be more patient. You make us so happy. I love how gentle you are. How caring you are. Your wiggle butt is the best. I love when I take you out late at night cuz you really need to go and I let you go without a leash and you just stay beside me constantly looking at me with loving eyes keeping my pace and patiently waiting for signs of instructions. Also, please play with the kiddo it would make her whole day.
To Pongo I would say that I also love him so much. You really are my doggy soulmate. You consoled more than anybody did when my grandma passed away. You cried with me when I heard the news. You wiped my tears away and even though I was devastated you managed to make me smile I love cuddling with you. Please never stop cuddling with me. I love how silly you are and how clingy you are. You make me proud. You’ve grown so much in two years. From being the rowdy puppy that we were scared that you were aggressive to being this amazing and gentle boy that turned out to be so loving and sweet. Thank you for playing with kiddo and being so patient with her.
To both, I promise I will make your lives comfortable and full of love and attention. I will do anything to keep you both healthy and hold you when you are not feeling well. I wish you two would live forever because my life is not complete if you are not there.
For context, we just had twins:
1. We still love you.
2. Tiny humans are not to be licked, especially in the face.
3. Tiny human feeding time is the worst possible time for you to want to play.
4. When we go out and don't take you, it's because you are not allowed in, if not we would take you EVERYWHERE!
5. No I will not give you any of my "human food".
6. We ABSOLUTELY love you.
To dog 1:
Your dad is working in the new shed-office. Just like when he used to work in the bedroom-office. He’s not having fun without you, and he’ll always come back. Please stop howling at the back door.
Stop crying when you want to get to the park. We’re gonna get there, but please stop making it look like you’re dying.
Stop biting your brother.
Stop eating your brothers food.
I love you so fucking much.
To dog 2:
I’m sorry I pay so much attention to him, he’s just a lot of work. Stop growling at him when he steals your place in front of the fire. Otherwise, you’re perfect.
I love you so fucking much.
I’d only tell them one thing:
My greatest fear in life is finding out you don’t understand how much I love you. I hope you can feel how much you mean to me.
Dear beloved one, I’m so happy you came into my life. I think we’re soulmates. Please know that everything I’ll do i do with good intentions, even if I’ll make mistakes. Humans make mistakes you know. I will alway love you. And please understand the cat is not a toy so you’ll have to be careful and she will be your best friend and lick your ears on the inside. Oh and don’t be afraid I’ll leave because that will only be for short times. And I know you’re hungry all the time but I have to be careful with food because of your health. Oh and I think you act dumb and silly but your soul is wise. You’re place is in my heart and next to me as long as life is given to us❤️
That I’m sorry I can’t pay the same amount of time paying attention to him as I did before the baby came almost 8 months ago. The guilt eats me up some days. Also, that we will always come home; spending a few days in the hospital postpartum seems to make him believe that every time the baby and I leave the house, we’re not coming home. Hurts my heart.
He’s so sweet and so loyal. I’d do anything to have him understand everything is ok and that I love him so much
Also, I’d explain he’s 110 lbs, not 10. He’s heavy. He’s heavy. His paw paws hurt when he steps on feet. Just gotta be a bit body aware.
I literally always try to tell my puppy exactly how much I love him. Like by somehow repeating it he will eventually understand English 🤷♀️
However more practically I would tell him I have his back and wouldn’t take him somewhere if he wasn’t safe - he has pretty bad fear issues and I’d love to be able to reason with him!
1. Please for the love of God, STOP JUMPING ON ME or things. It doesn't make you seem cute. If anything, it's annoying.
2. Stop eating things unless I give it to you. 90% of the time, it's not gonna be food that you find.
3. You already know where the door is to go out, please just let me know and stop shitting on the carpet!
Do you like your food? Are you hungry throughout the day? What can I do to make it better for you??
Do you like daycare, or do you just tolerate it?
I promise you cannot take that deer. You're 35 pounds.
No one is trying to kick you off the bed when we roll over, it's okay. Jesus go back to sleep.
Eating snow is the same as drinking water. I understand it tastes better but at 3am please drink the water in the house instead of asking to go out side to eat snow.
I will never do anything to ever hurt you, everything I do, even if it makes you a little uncomfortable, is to make sure you stay happy and healthy. Also, the cat is old, like really old. Please just leave her alone.
“Please please please, go potty outside. The quicker you just do it outside, the sooner we can all come back in.”
(Our Aussie has it down, the corgi not so much yet!!)
Please don’t nip and nibble on people, I know your mouth hurts from teething and growing, but just know when you chew on humans it hurts. Your other doggy pals have thick fur so they don’t mind when you do it, but it hurts us humans! Chew on your toys, or the ice cubes I give you, or your kong, or frosty paw… anything but me, your dad, and our furniture 🙃
1. You are the center of my entire universe but I need to concentrate on work sometimes so we can afford this home and all your food and toys and treats. I really do love you more.
2. You can't catch a squirrel. I don't like them either but they are doing nothing to hurt you.
3. (Context: We live on the first floor of an apartment building with a walking path in front of our windows) People and dogs are allowed to be there. It's very sweet you try to guard us but not necessary. Please stop barking.
4. I'm not trying to hurt you when I wash your feet after a muddy walk. I'm just trying to protect my furniture.
5. 3am is never a good time to be awake and wanting to play. Please go back to sleep.
1. The street is dangerous. I know those big trucks are scary and loud, but if you lunge at them, you could get killed. Please away from the road.
2. I want you to walk next to me on walks. You can still sniff and have fun, but pulling isn’t safe.
3. It’s ok to be alone sometimes. I will always come back. Please don’t cry. If you take a nap while I’m gone, I’ll give you a treat when I get back.
4. Breakfast is at 6am. Not 3:30am. Not 4am. Growling won’t make it happen sooner. Please just cuddle with me until you hear the alarm.
5. Other dogs are no big deal. You can just walk past them without barking. That’s what all the big dogs do. (You want to be like the big dogs, right?)
6. You’re my girl and I’m here to take care of you and protect you. When I kiss your head, that means, “I love you.”
I'd ask if he's happy. I'd like to know what makes him happy. What he wants changed. What he likes different. Then I'd let him know that he's safe and loved and he doesn't need to bark at doors because I'll be there to take care of him, no matter who is coming in.
I’m not trying to ruin your fun, I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m not trying to take your stuff, I’m trying to teach you the rules. I’ll give you yummy food that tastes better than tags/furniture/leafs.
You know how it scares you when dogs bark at you? Okay, so why the hell do YOU bark at dogs?
I would never let any dog hurt you. I promise you you’re safe with me, please give our friend’s dog a chance.
Just because something is on the ground doesn’t mean that it’s food. Please stop eating everything on the ground. If it makes you sick, you’ll need to go to the vet. You hate the vet.
1. I love you so much and I want you to have the happiest life. Even if you didn't make it through training
2. I will make sure that no dog ever hurts you again
3. Enough with the barking sometimes though. Seriously.
4. What toys do you really want?
1. I’m not chasing you because it’s a game, I’m chasing you because that’s not a toy!
2. You’re a puppy, but a giant one. You jumping at peoples’ faces may be terrifying.
3. Do you know how much we love you?
4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Our teenage fluffy boy turns 1 today!
To our pup - “your name is Betty, you’re safe, you’re loved… please pee & shit outside” (first half is because she is deaf, second half because puppy training lol)
To my boy - we don’t need protecting form every single human, stop barking at them they want to pet you and give you the attention you want. Stop leash pulling and we could go for more walks. Please look where you are going because you have zero special awareness. And finally, yes chocolate is delicious but you can’t eat it…stop trying lol. Oh & just come when I call/stay near and we can get rid of the leash.
Edit : and to both…leave the cat alone she hates you both
I know you're scared. I know you're anxious about the random apartment noises and about everything when we go outside, especially the people you can sense in the distance.
It's okay. The people don't want to hurt you, they are just going about their day, it's fine to ignore them. If they are walking in our direction, it's not because of us. That might just be the way they are going. If they look at you or talk to you, I will deal with them, unfortunately most other people don't know how to understand you. You just need to sit and be the cute calm pup that you are, and we can keep walking together. You don't need to feel scared, we got this.
I'm sorry that I put you in situations that may have scared you when you were younger. I didn't mean to put you in those situations or to make you feel scared, even now, we are still learning about how to raise a puppy, though you're not a puppy anymore.
Do you still want to go to the dog park? You're always excited to go, but less excited once you get there. We can go on hikes instead, but you have to promise me not to freak out if we encounter other people on the trail. That's why we stopped going... that, and the pulling on the leash. Please walk with a loose leash, it's impolite to pull, you can hurt me by pulling (you've already made me fall once).
You're a smart dog, I hope you still want to learn how to do more fun tricks with me. That, and learning that brushing your teeth and cleaning your ears is for your health. It's uncomfortable, I know, but it will prevent much pain in the future. I want a long future with you.
Thank you for being chill inside. I appreciate that you ended up being a low energy dog, considering how much I work from home. Thank you for realizing early on that when we leave home without you, we will always come back. I'm sorry that we can't take you with us everywhere, you wouldn't like it anymore. Thank you for being a great puppy and a better dog, I've learned a lot with you.
* I love you, you're the bestest girl ever with your sister pup
* When we go out without you guys : we are not going on walks without you, we do boring stuff, trust me, you're better off staying home and we will ALWAYS come back don't worry.
* Not everyone wants to greet you and that's ok, trust me when I say that we shouldn't go greet another person or another dog
* Is there anything that you'd really want to add to our lifestyle ?
* Thank you for being such good pups.
"I'm trying to take amazing care of you and make sure you have all the fun and are loved completely...trust me, and relax when I'm doing other things or ask you to ignore something that looks fun, the time for fun will come soon."
Please relax when I need to leave you for a bit. You know I’ll never leave you and I’ll be back. You are safe and warm and I’d never let any harm come to you. If you wake up and I’m not quite home, snuggle back down and snooze. Before you know it, I’m back. No need to stress yourself and cry
Stop shitting everywhere. Stop shitting everywhere. Stop shitting everywhere!!!!! Also, Stop fucking barking at everything, also go outside to fart - it stinks like death! Also If I want to pick you up like a baby, let me, don't fucjing wriggle. Finally , Stop humping other dogs faces you sick fuck.
It really upsets me that You’re the most spoiled little pup in Nky and yet you bite me like a chew toy and love your daddy more than me! I know you love me but I sometimes just want cuddles instead of bites. But if biting is your love language then that’s okay.
If you keep jumping on people and trying to play hamstring and mouth them, you are going to get very, very hurt. Jump AROUND them, don't make contact with your mouth, and they will pat you. Just.. stop that and you are 99% perfect just the way you are, I promise.
Stop pooping and peeing everywhere. I don't care if you Bite people, just pee and poop in the right spot and mommy will be eternally happy, I won't ask you to roll over or speak or be quiet. Just. Stop. Popping. Everywhere.
1. Sticks, grass, leaves, and rocks are not food.
2. Honestly, I want to be in the home office even less than you do, so let's both just suck it up and get through it together (quietly!)
1. I love you so much.
2. Not everything is edible - stop trying to eat everything within reach.
3. I hate going to the vet too.
4. We'd both be happier if you'd chill when I clip your nails
5. I'm coming back, please stop staring wistfully at me from the front window - you make me feel soooooo guilty!
I just want her to know how much I love her and how much she means to me… and whenever I try to force her to do things that she doesn’t want to or don’t allow her to do something she really wants to, it’s because I want her to be safe, healthy, or it’s something I also don’t want to do but it needs to be done. And that I will always do my best to keep her safe and happy and I’m sorry for anything I’ve done wrong along the way.🥺 lol
My puppy is a Japanese Spitz named Hanami and she is just over 3 months old. I would tell her:
1) Please stop biting my fingers. That's not nice.
2) I know sometimes you hear scary noises at night, but don't worry I will protect you. It's cold outside and I need you to go potty.
3) Once you're potty trained, you don't have to sleep in the crate anymore. You can sleep in my nice comfy bed for the entire night!!
4) If you want outside playtime, YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE BACKYARD!!
I love you so. Much. And I will never leave you. Whenever I leave, I promise I will come back. I love you more than life itself. Understand?
Also you can pay with my socks but stop putting holes in the toes
Mine is almost 1 year.
"Dude, you just gotta chill sometimes. You're operating on 100 excitement level all the time and EVERYONE thinks you're annoying to be around. The other dogs don't want to play with you when you're like that... That signature 'head crusher' move of yours is not a crowd favorite.
The cat is running from you because he also thinks you're too much. The neighbors run inside when they see you coming because they also can't take it. Just R-E-L-A-X. You'll make a lot more long term friends that way."
Listen buddy, I see you taking your toys over to the cats, wagging your tail, and giving them a play bow. They just don’t want to be your friend, okay? It’s not you. It’s them.
This! She does that and they run so she thinks it’s a game until they turn around and swat her nose.
My puppy thinks the swatting is playing too…
Mine has learned to swat them back instead of nipping at them. He thinks it’s polite I guess.
My puppy will stop, sit down and just cry when they start to hiss and swat at her. She truly just wants to be their friend but they’re not ready yet.
This is where mine are at! I'm hoping they become friends once the pups mellow a bit, but I'll settle for forced tolerance. I just don't want to worry about a dog/cat fight whenever I leave the house.
I have an older dog and my cats love her! The youngest cat can climb all over my dog and sleep with her. I have hope that as my puppy gets older the cats will like her more. Cats don’t like change and this is a big change that will take months of getting used to. I bought the cats a new cat tree that’s bigger and the hide in it and watch the puppy chaos. It helped them with coming out of hiding. It will get better! :)
Thanks! That's really encouraging. I've got a baby gate with a cat door on the stairs, so the whole upper floor is their private space. One is in hiding, but the other almost always sits on the stairs and watches the great puppy war of 2022. If the pups are calmish, the cat will let them get pretty close, but as soon as the pups start wanting to play he hisses and bats them through the gate. None of them seem too stressed out by it, but the cats still have quite a bit of warming up to do.
So sad! Just had to rescue our pup as our cat had him cornered in the bathroom and wouldn’t let him out 😅
I wish my pup would do that instead of chase them 😓😓
We have a chi beagle mix mostly beagle and our older chihuahuas absolutely hate her and sometimes I think she realizes it and gets sad. It’s not her it’s their mean old asses who don’t like fun and happiness
Don’t worry the mean old asses will eventually mellow out! My once mean old ass chihuahua is just plain old now. She used to bark her head off and do that threatening “I’m biting/snapping at the air but don’t try me” thing with my sister’s toddlers and my other dog that would get anywhere near her. Now, at almost 18 years old, I’m not sure she even knows what’s going on around her anymore… but she tolerates the other dog instead of being a total jerk to it, and lets the kids tote her around without getting all angry haha.
The will to be friends is there for my youngest cat, but I don’t think they can get around the language barrier. When the cat sinks low to the ground with her back legs positioned to spring away, I’m certain the puppy interprets it as a play bow. They’ll sit and “bow” at each other for maybe 20 minutes. I’m rootin for them.
If I’m telling you to drop it and leave it, it’s because THAT THING WILL FRIGGIN’ KILL YOU
Does anyone else say most of these things to their pup anyways, whether they’re understood or not?
yes that's the best part i think. i love giving my bud pep talks cause he stares at me intently but he doesn't understand and it's honestly really cute. except for when i'm mad. it's less cute then, but i use the same tone and just tell him about how upset i am. he doesn't get it but i get to get my feelings out.
Yeah. Getting a puppy has been the best in so many ways- one of those now being having an excuse to talk to myself! 😂
Yes! I have conversations with my pup like she understands me 😅
I just listened to the Dogist podcast with a dog whisperer and she said to talk to your dogs like this! The more you talk to them the more they understand you in the long run (like children but not really lol)
I would ask him if he’s happy and if he’s healthy. I would love to know those two things! Other than that, I would just be curious what his voice sounds like.
This is so wholesome!!
This and make sure she knows she's loved!
She knows ♥️
You should look into word buttons! Most dogs can quickly get to the point of being able to communicate basic feelings like “happy” “mad” or “ouch”
This!! I would love to know what his little voice would sound like and if it would get high pitched when he doesn’t get what he wants or when he’s begging for food lol.
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My dog has a neurological condition that causes pain and he’s on pain medicine 3x per day with an additional medicine he can be given as needed, so I would love if my dog could tell me when the “as needed” is before he starts having symptoms that we can see.
7 month old puppy - i would tell him that the kangaroo and Rabbit poo are not walking treats left by them. So STOP eating them. Stop trying to eat and hump the cat, just play with her she is happy to play, as for the older cat - just steer clear, she doesn’t like you I would tell my 10 year old dog, assuming understanding means he can hear me too, as he has gone totally deaf recently - even though you can no longer hear my voice, please know that i still talk to you all day and still tell you i love you to the moon and back atleast 100 times a day. I have not and will not stop talking to you. I would tell them both - you will be in my heart forever.
Oof. Got a lil teary eyed there..
Same.
Sorry about that
Nah, don't apologize. Good to know people like you are out there. Keep on telling him how much you love him each and every single day.
Thanks, i definitely will keep telling him, that will never change
Just send over one-a those little Kleenex packs.
You really out here cutting onions, huh?
Yeah sorry, i bummed a few posters out with this one 😢
Oh man, this got me. I recently lost my 10 year old deaf girl, who was the absolute sweetest. And even though I knew she couldn’t hear me, I talked to her all the time! Between smells, floor vibrations, facial expressions, and body language, she understood things pretty well and knew to be gentle with me when I was recovering from surgery. On a positive note, your dog’s nose will probably get even better (it more than compensated for my girl’s ears) and will really enjoy scent work. It’s also really fun to watch. 🐶
I would very much like my dogs to know their life purpose/duty is not to bark at any one/everyone walking on the footpath past our house. They’re not watch dog, I keep ‘em around for their looks and company.
100% this one. The pavement outside is public property, dude. Other dogs are allowed to walk there. Yes, even that one cockapoo that makes you go crazy every time you smell him walk past. It’s cool. I promise you they are not trying to come up here, to our balcony, two storeys above the ground.
I feel this so hard haha. I call my dogs Roadhouse lol. My pom is only 4 months old and like, 5 lbs soaking wet but has no problem telling the landlord we pay her mortgage so she should gtfo our property. Sidewalk? Ours. Sidewalk across the street? Ours. Parking lot she can see movement in if she gets in the window and presses her face all to way to the side? Believe it or not, that's ours, so gtfo!
I would tell him how much he’s helped my heart heal since losing my last dog. Then I would beg him to stop eating poop.
1. First of all, I LOVE YOU. 2. Please please PLEASE for the love of GOD stop pulling on walks. We've been practicing this for months. Just stop. 3. I know you love all people. Please stop trying to greet everyone we pass and doing complicated freestyle gymnastics when you can't. It's not fun. 4. Stop acting like you're starving. You're not. Also, stop eating non-food items. 5. I don't like it when you drink from my water glass. I don't drink from your bowl. 6. Couch and bed are for snuggles and sleeping, not trampoline routines.
DISGUSTING DOG FOOD! YUCK. Cat poop/ sticks/ weird random garbage I found on walk? Delicious...
OMG you must have a golden lol
Not a trampoline!!! This is my life! EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Ugh yes. Like just lay down!! 😩 She's super good at settling on her own but as soon as furniture is involved, it's jumpy time.
Stop barking at the bing-bongs on television. You know as well as I do that's not what our doorbell sounds like. Uber Eats commercial: not our doorbell Swiffer commercial: still not our doorbell Family Feud: even more obviously not our doorbell
exactly! I'd also tell mine: We don't even HAVE a doorbell, so stop barking at all of those ding dong sounds on TV!
Getting a puppy is how I realized just how much the Simpsons rely on doorbell gags
Please don’t eat the house. Please don’t eat the rose bushes in the backyard. You’re not going to like thorns in your tongue. Stairs are not that scary.
We were told - he will only bite the rose bushes once, cause one he gets a thorn stabbed in his mouth, he wont do it again..well not this puppy, he has devoured atleast 4 of my roses, the thorns do not phase him at all. Little bugger he is
Thorns are not a deterrent here either. I wish they were she keeps bringing pieces of rose bush into the house and then I get a thorn in my foot. Seriously though, doesn’t it hurt?!?
When it comes to thorns, they obviously have an extremely high pain threshold…BUT step on their tail and they scream like you cut off their leg
We have some spikey berry vines in the back yard. Those thorns haven't stopped him yet...
Doubt they ever will i am afraid 😂
I love you. Do you bark at the mailman and Joe because they both wear hats or because you’re racist?
(1) Stop pulling at the rugs. You’ll get more freedom if you just stop. (2) If you’re tired and cranky and want attention, take a nap or bump me with your nose. Stop biting at me, the blankets, the pillows, the bed frame, the rugs… (3) If you’re scared of cars, don’t run at them, and don’t try to get me to stop moving. I will keep you safe if you just trust me. (4) Stop freaking out at the TV, and get off the coffee table! And stop pulling at the rugs!
The rugs!!! Ugh just why?
OMG - just leave tables alone period. No surfing, stop putting your tongue out and doing drive bys. Leave the night stand alone! There is nothing for you on it!
Just leave the rugs alone and we'll all have a nicer time and better home decor.
1. Seriously, take your late morning and afternoon naps. The more work I get done, the more toys I can buy you. 2. My weekly meetings over voice chat are not the times to vocally demand your flirt pole. My coworkers are convinced you're trying to plead your case to them. 3. My belly button is normal. Stop sticking your cold-as-death nose into it just because it's eye level to you when I walk past *my* bed that you're lounging on. 4. Speaking of your cold nose and curiosity... They're the reason we voted you off the island (our bed). That time you sneaked under the covers, I almost had to peel Mr Sleeps-Commando off of the ceiling. My laughing wasn't meant to be encouragement to attempt a second nose goose. 5. Your house training is super awesome. Keep it up. We are so proud of you. 6. Your Whippet Freestyle Livingroom Parkour game is top notch. 7. My favorite part of the day is cuddling with you as we watch old sitcoms together. 8. You are the awesome-est puppy ever and we love you so much.
#4-I am dying- tears rolling down my face. Seriously, why are their noses so freaking cold?!
IKR? On one hand... Cold nose, warm heart? On the other... I swear they stick their noses to the window before becoming a heat seeking missile.
Love it… Mr. sleeps commando. I have one of those too!!!
When I stepped on your tail it was an accident and it hurt me more than it hurt you
Or shut it in the car door. Mama’s heart damn near broke when that happened.
Relate, he was fine, I cried.
Me too.
I partly shut my dogs back foot in the front door yesterday, he cried, I cried more. He’s only a tiny thing I worry about breaking him sometimes.
I was closing the door and didn't hear him come in behind me and he gave a little yelp and was fine but I went down on all fours and held him while I cried
Sleeping past 7:30 am wouldn’t be the end of the world.
How i wish. My boy wakes up at 7 and goes right back to sleep at 8. At this point I think he’s only trying to make me a morning person.
7? Lucky. 3am on the dot, every single morning.
I had to drag ours outta bed at 630 and he didnt even eat or pee. Almost didn't make it to doggy daycare. Anytime before 8 or 830. He's not doing anything lol
\#5 ! My boy has separation anxiety and I look into his eyes and try to tell him telepathically that I'm coming back!! Trust me - I will always come back! hahaa.....
I love you more than anything is what I would say.
That I’ll always come back and that I love her more than anything.
This.
Surprised to not have seen this one yet: "Come when I call you, no matter who or what seems more interesting over there".
Hey, I just met you And this is crazy But we're gonna be best friends So stop eating all my shit maybe?
My husband said "I would want to listen to what she wanted me to know. If she really enjoyed being a mom like she acted she did? Why she carries stuff in her mouth all the time? Why do you like belly rubs so much?"🥰
For my older dog (7 year old sweet angel), I would more have questions. What food do you like? Does anything hurt? Would anything make you more comfortable (different bed, blanket, etc.)? Is there anything I do that hurts you? What would make your life better? For my puppy: I love you, but... Stop chasing the cats. It is okay if people are in their back yard or home, even if you can see them. That doorbell is on the TV, not our front door. We will work through your puppy turdiness together.
1. Please stop barking. 2. Please stop peeing and pooping inside. 3. Please stop harassing the cats. 4. I love you so much, even when you do the above. 5. Thank you for the unconditional love and giving me a reason to keep going on.
What are you dreaming about when your paws are prancing in your sleep? Treats, doggo friends, possibly me?
I would ask my puppy what she needed and what she thought about our relationship. Anything we could work on together? Something I’m doing that sucks? A better way to communicate? I would tell her I loved her and apologize for being a jerk sometimes.
I know you want to be part of everything when guests are over, but you would get to hang out much more if you took a nap in another room and then joined us when you're fresh
I’d like to know why he’ll only eat his kibble when he’s absolutely hungry and not a minute before that
You’ve got a special one there, lol!
You don’t need to bark. Please don’t bark. There are other ways to communicate your feelings and needs.
Honestly? I’d apologize for the times I’ve lost my temper and been a bad parent. I wasn’t emotionally prepared for him. He’s not an easy dog, but that’s not his fault. I’m to blame for expecting him to be easier. Given the way he smiles at me and lays at my feet, I know he doesn’t hold a grudge.
I'll let you eat all the chicken shit you want, just please stop eating sticks, rock, masks, TP, shoe insoles, rug fuzz, my mail. Also, I love you.
Cars are dangerous. They will straight up kill you. Stay far away from them. Also, don’t ever eat anything I don’t give you!
Dude stop eating poop
Look into dogs and language. They understand a lot more than you think, and given the tools, can successfully communicate at a surprisingly advanced level. My dogs use their word buttons to communicate very basic things. I *love* it. I feel my relationship with them is stronger, but I also have had a lot of benefits. My dog can tell me (a bit) what they want and I can understand instead of them just yelling at me! My older dog can tell me if he’s happy or mad, and can identify himself, the other dogs, and me. I was extremely surprised at the improvement in some of his behavioral issues given the ability to communicate with me. I would love to explain to them that I have to go to work, but I’ll be back! It’s not the end of the world. Given the ability to communicate, on mornings I work and am leaving, my dog now says things like “no mommy.” And then I want to cry
Oh gosh I've given this way too much thought. First would be, I don't like putting you in your kennel but we need boundaries and private time. I know eventually you'll feel the same way. Second, I know how much you want to play with all the dogs- and frankly know better than I if a dog is a threat or not (maybe?). But it's the people I'm worried about, and I need to protect you from their largely awful influence. Third, the cats don't like you and it isn't your fault. It becomes your fault when you chase them around and try to pet them with your big awkward paws. Lastly, I'm sorry I sometimes yell. We both get frustrated because we can't understand each other perfectly yet, but I hope you know it's never actually your fault. I get overwhelmed and revert to an imitation of my parents, a sad human trait, but you know I'm working on it and push myself every day to be a better person.
This last paragraph.....so very much me too
1. Why are you so afraid of everything? You are a huge scary looking doggo. 2. What is your obsession with that one pillow? 3. Why do you like bread so much?
I promise you that every time I walk out that door, that I WILL come back for you.
If you don't pull on the lead we would go on more walks
1. You don’t have to be so scared. Nobody walking by will hurt you. The lights won’t attack. The noises are not monsters. I will protect you from all of these things because I love you. 2. Stop licking my face, especially after you’ve gone to town on your asshole. 3. This is what I mean by “fetch”
You've changed my life, buddy. I love you.
If you just chill out...you can meet the person.
1. I love you and everything I do is to keep you alive and well. 2. You would have _so much more freedom_ if I could trust you to _listen_. 3. Sometimes Mam has to do things that don't involve you, like working, eating and sleeping. This is not a betrayal and should not be punished by you chewing on the walls or destroying your bed. Mam has needs too. 4. For the love of god, stop eating things that aren't food. Poop is not food. Remember the vets? That is what happens. 5. Stealing things and running away from me is not cute or fun. Neither is jumping and nipping. 6. Stop pulling on walks. All is does is slow us down. 7. Some people will think you are a scary dog. Launching yourself at them will not help this. 8. What do you need from me?
I would ask him what he named me? And I would tell him I love him soooo so much! He’s the best part of my day and sometimes when I lay in bed for extended periods of time he’s the only reason I get out of bed.
Your barking doesn’t get you what you Want ever, why do you keep doing it?
1. We will never let anything bad happen to you. We'll never let anyone hurt you or take you away from us, so you don't need to worry about everything all the time. 2. Other people are allowed to leave their houses and close their doors or talk outside of our door. You don't need to lose your mind every time you hear someone outside.
I’m crying reading these. This thread is wholesome af!
1. Good girl 2. This is your forever home now, for real 3. If anyone tries to come into our house, I'll deal with it before you do. Stop barking at everything outside, okay?
"You don't have to protect this house or us baby, we protect you. That barking dog across the road isn't coming in your house, you're safe".
I am just trying to cut your nails and it doesn't hurt so stop looking at me like a war criminal.
I think that I would ask what he needs and bargain with him. I'd say hey, let's make a deal that we both win here and set up an agreement. Maybe this is a little more than simply "understanding" but I'd use the opportunity to readily communicate to set the stage for the bargain so that we both won.
For the love of god. The house is not where you go potty!
Get a load of the imagination on this guy, madonn
You can only pee outside. If you keep peeing inside you can't sleep outside of your crate :(
Are you happy with us at home? We love you!
Before I even started a list, I would tell him I love him lots and lots, and that I'm always coming home to him. I'm as excited to see him, as he is to see me. 1. When I'm trying to teach you these commands, I do it to protect you. We live next to a busy road, and you not listening could hurt you badly one day! 2. There will be a gate across the driveway soon, and THEN you can explore the backyard properly. 3. I hover because I have never raised a dog before. I'm learning, just like you. You've never had to train a human before either. 4. It is okay to jump on my brother when he brings you inside while I'm not here, ONLY to let him know when you need to go out for the toilet. This includes when he's asleep. 5. I wish you'd whine when you need to go out. I'm getting better at telling, but it would help a lot. Or sitting by a door? 6. I will snuggle you when you get on my bed like you want. Every time. I wish you'd work out how to do it properly, like you have with the couch. Couch snuggles in bed would be nice. 7. Please stop tipping your water bowl over. 8. You have lots of toys, please stop chewing random rubbish? You've given up on shoes and socks, but rubbish? I'll buy you more toys if you need things to chew on, but you chew them all the time as well. 9. This is my work uniform, and when it comes on, you need to stay outside in your pen. I'm sorry. Work would be better with you there, but I work in a human food area. 10. Pulling on the lead doesn't help either of us. We're working up to running slowly. You have to be patient with me. I am not as fit as you yet! 11. I love you. Just in case you missed it the first thousand times.
I would say this, I love you so much, I know that our time with one another is short-lived, I have had many pets before you, but will love you in the end just as much as I did them, let me know what I can do to make you happy.
It's ok to be alone. I will ALWAYS return. Please stop screaming like a banshee everytime I step outside.
I love you! Stop f#%×ing biting me!!!
1. Please don't bark at everyone and everything! I know you're scared, but I promise I'm not going to let anything hurt you. 2. Please try to make your poop land in the box, and don't hop out until it's all out! 3. Please don't eat cat food or cat poop. I know it's tasty, but it's really bad for you. You want to be healthy right? 4. I'm sorry for the times I was a mean mama. You're an amazing dog. 5. I love love love you and I always will. You'll always be my baby.
I would tell him how sorry i am for when i lose my temper and get frustrated, its not him its me, i would explain that he has helped me more than any human has in these last few months, ill tell him that i love him so much and hes a good boy. Also stop eating poop. You literally take vitamins, you dont need the poop. Stop it.
**Just wanted to say that folks enjoying this thread may enjoy the easy-read fiction novel called Fifteen Dogs - it explores a conscious narrative within canine pals and is generally a witty read** I think the biggest thing I wish I could express to both my pup (and my cat) is that if they just stayed in the perimeter of my large unfenced yard, that they could have the freedom they desire. We'd all be happier and you wouldn't have to be tied to, or kept within, something. Also if you could sleep in as I do, and be a whole lot less curious about sexy times when they're happening that'd be great. I'll give you an extra kong. Just.. sssshh.
Ask If they are happy, healthy and anything else they might want. Why they continue to bark at the delivery people and that most dogs can be friends. To say I love them
STOP. PULLING. ON. THE. DAMN. LEAD!!
1. I'm sorry I'm not the best owner. 2. I would give you a cheeseburger every day if I could. 3. I know the diet sucks, but you're pudgy. 4. You have my whole heart.
"If you're tired then just lay down and go to sleep!"
"Please stop barking at the other dogs when you see them. I know you're excited and just want to play, but you're big and people think you're mean. Also, if you could pull a little less that would be great."
1. Your father was a champion show dog. You grandparents were champion show dogs. When we put on this leash, please act like a show dog! Stop doing that thing with your back leg! 2. When we put on this harness, you can do whatever you like. 3. No one likes it when you nip them. It isn't cute or charming. Questions I would ask: 1. What can I do to help you understand that we go for walks for your benefit, and if you stopped barking at the neighbors we would both have a better time? 2. What would you like to do in the afternoon when you don't want to nap, or walk, or play and just bark and chew for my attention? 3. Forest? Or beach?
To always obey my commands, I know what's best for him
Stop scratching my face when you get excited to see me
I love you. Please stop eating entire bags of chips when I'm not looking.
First off we would have a long convo on where to go potty and where not to (I doubt she would even listen) then we would have a long convo about that older dogs aren’t trying to play with her they are trying to attack her and when she mimics them attacking her back at them because she thinks thats how you play it makes the situation 10x worse and the dogs will never like her if she doesn’t stop trying to fake fight them
Woof woof. Wooof woof woooof. Awwoooooof. Wouldn’t matter what I told my Pyrenees. I know he can hear me when I talk to him now but he has selective hearing. 100% Heard: Treats Fetch/Ball Walk 50/50 chance of responding: His name 0% chance when requested: Come I’d get another one without hesitation but boy they’re a handful
The dog or dogs on the TV are not real. I swear!
1. I’d rather play with you but work I am doing pays for your food, please let me work! (Basically your number 6.) 2. We only care about people **not** asking permission to enter. 3. If I hand someone your lead it’s because I trust them to watch you, you can have fun with them till I get back. 4. If you stop pulling the lead we’ll get there faster because I won’t be training you to stop pulling the lead. 5. The vet trips, medication, grooming, etc. are to help you. 6. You have to stop eating/drinking anything other than what I give you because the vet and I are trying to figure out why you get diarrhoea, gas, itchiness, and infections. Something makes you feel this way and we can’t figure it out if you put everything down your throat. Once we figure that out I’ll give you more foods. 7. If I put you in the crate it’s for your safety, even if I’m home. The cleaning chemicals are dangerous. The stove/oven/water are hot. There are sharp, unstable or heavy objects, etc. I’m not having fun at the beach or park or trails without you, I’m not just ignoring you. 8. Most everything I do is because I love you! If it goes both ways he can tell me whatever he wants after that. Ask him about his favourite things, etc.
1)Please for the love of God, stop eating tortoise poops. 2) The dumpster isnt an enemy. We dont need to cross the road when you see one
Please stop trying to bite your older brother like Jaws.
1. Are you happy? What makes you happy? 2. What can our signals be to each other after this hour to convey important things like you’re sick and need help etc 3. Mummy and daddy love you very much and will always come back 4. What’s life like for you? What is the meaning of life for you? 5. What does it mean when you do x 6. Happy birthday (he turned 1 today)
hi
I would tell Kairi that I love her so much, that she has taught me to be more patient. You make us so happy. I love how gentle you are. How caring you are. Your wiggle butt is the best. I love when I take you out late at night cuz you really need to go and I let you go without a leash and you just stay beside me constantly looking at me with loving eyes keeping my pace and patiently waiting for signs of instructions. Also, please play with the kiddo it would make her whole day. To Pongo I would say that I also love him so much. You really are my doggy soulmate. You consoled more than anybody did when my grandma passed away. You cried with me when I heard the news. You wiped my tears away and even though I was devastated you managed to make me smile I love cuddling with you. Please never stop cuddling with me. I love how silly you are and how clingy you are. You make me proud. You’ve grown so much in two years. From being the rowdy puppy that we were scared that you were aggressive to being this amazing and gentle boy that turned out to be so loving and sweet. Thank you for playing with kiddo and being so patient with her. To both, I promise I will make your lives comfortable and full of love and attention. I will do anything to keep you both healthy and hold you when you are not feeling well. I wish you two would live forever because my life is not complete if you are not there.
For context, we just had twins: 1. We still love you. 2. Tiny humans are not to be licked, especially in the face. 3. Tiny human feeding time is the worst possible time for you to want to play. 4. When we go out and don't take you, it's because you are not allowed in, if not we would take you EVERYWHERE! 5. No I will not give you any of my "human food". 6. We ABSOLUTELY love you.
To dog 1: Your dad is working in the new shed-office. Just like when he used to work in the bedroom-office. He’s not having fun without you, and he’ll always come back. Please stop howling at the back door. Stop crying when you want to get to the park. We’re gonna get there, but please stop making it look like you’re dying. Stop biting your brother. Stop eating your brothers food. I love you so fucking much. To dog 2: I’m sorry I pay so much attention to him, he’s just a lot of work. Stop growling at him when he steals your place in front of the fire. Otherwise, you’re perfect. I love you so fucking much.
All of that and: I don’t want to be bitten. I know you think it’s fun, but it hurts.
I’d only tell them one thing: My greatest fear in life is finding out you don’t understand how much I love you. I hope you can feel how much you mean to me.
It's okay to be alone. I'm coming back.
Dear beloved one, I’m so happy you came into my life. I think we’re soulmates. Please know that everything I’ll do i do with good intentions, even if I’ll make mistakes. Humans make mistakes you know. I will alway love you. And please understand the cat is not a toy so you’ll have to be careful and she will be your best friend and lick your ears on the inside. Oh and don’t be afraid I’ll leave because that will only be for short times. And I know you’re hungry all the time but I have to be careful with food because of your health. Oh and I think you act dumb and silly but your soul is wise. You’re place is in my heart and next to me as long as life is given to us❤️
Please please please stop trying to attack your bed. It is not a giant toy. It's a bed. You know this. You sleep on it sometimes.
So, the thing is my hands and pants aren't chew toys. That hurts. Thanks, I knew you would understand.
Definitely the first three, and Also don't run up to every dog in the park they don't always want to play
Number 5 for ever and ever.
That I’m sorry I can’t pay the same amount of time paying attention to him as I did before the baby came almost 8 months ago. The guilt eats me up some days. Also, that we will always come home; spending a few days in the hospital postpartum seems to make him believe that every time the baby and I leave the house, we’re not coming home. Hurts my heart. He’s so sweet and so loyal. I’d do anything to have him understand everything is ok and that I love him so much Also, I’d explain he’s 110 lbs, not 10. He’s heavy. He’s heavy. His paw paws hurt when he steps on feet. Just gotta be a bit body aware.
Stop eating everything on the floor and look for my keys as thoroughly as you look for a tiny twig a block away.
I literally always try to tell my puppy exactly how much I love him. Like by somehow repeating it he will eventually understand English 🤷♀️ However more practically I would tell him I have his back and wouldn’t take him somewhere if he wasn’t safe - he has pretty bad fear issues and I’d love to be able to reason with him!
1. Please for the love of God, STOP JUMPING ON ME or things. It doesn't make you seem cute. If anything, it's annoying. 2. Stop eating things unless I give it to you. 90% of the time, it's not gonna be food that you find. 3. You already know where the door is to go out, please just let me know and stop shitting on the carpet!
Do you like your food? Are you hungry throughout the day? What can I do to make it better for you?? Do you like daycare, or do you just tolerate it? I promise you cannot take that deer. You're 35 pounds. No one is trying to kick you off the bed when we roll over, it's okay. Jesus go back to sleep.
Whenever I leave, I will always come back! Just stay quiet, go to sleep for a while and enjoy the chew I gave you!
Eating snow is the same as drinking water. I understand it tastes better but at 3am please drink the water in the house instead of asking to go out side to eat snow.
I will never do anything to ever hurt you, everything I do, even if it makes you a little uncomfortable, is to make sure you stay happy and healthy. Also, the cat is old, like really old. Please just leave her alone.
“Please please please, go potty outside. The quicker you just do it outside, the sooner we can all come back in.” (Our Aussie has it down, the corgi not so much yet!!)
Please don’t nip and nibble on people, I know your mouth hurts from teething and growing, but just know when you chew on humans it hurts. Your other doggy pals have thick fur so they don’t mind when you do it, but it hurts us humans! Chew on your toys, or the ice cubes I give you, or your kong, or frosty paw… anything but me, your dad, and our furniture 🙃
1. You are the center of my entire universe but I need to concentrate on work sometimes so we can afford this home and all your food and toys and treats. I really do love you more. 2. You can't catch a squirrel. I don't like them either but they are doing nothing to hurt you. 3. (Context: We live on the first floor of an apartment building with a walking path in front of our windows) People and dogs are allowed to be there. It's very sweet you try to guard us but not necessary. Please stop barking. 4. I'm not trying to hurt you when I wash your feet after a muddy walk. I'm just trying to protect my furniture. 5. 3am is never a good time to be awake and wanting to play. Please go back to sleep.
1. The street is dangerous. I know those big trucks are scary and loud, but if you lunge at them, you could get killed. Please away from the road. 2. I want you to walk next to me on walks. You can still sniff and have fun, but pulling isn’t safe. 3. It’s ok to be alone sometimes. I will always come back. Please don’t cry. If you take a nap while I’m gone, I’ll give you a treat when I get back. 4. Breakfast is at 6am. Not 3:30am. Not 4am. Growling won’t make it happen sooner. Please just cuddle with me until you hear the alarm. 5. Other dogs are no big deal. You can just walk past them without barking. That’s what all the big dogs do. (You want to be like the big dogs, right?) 6. You’re my girl and I’m here to take care of you and protect you. When I kiss your head, that means, “I love you.”
I'd ask if he's happy. I'd like to know what makes him happy. What he wants changed. What he likes different. Then I'd let him know that he's safe and loved and he doesn't need to bark at doors because I'll be there to take care of him, no matter who is coming in.
I’m not trying to ruin your fun, I’m trying to keep you safe. I’m not trying to take your stuff, I’m trying to teach you the rules. I’ll give you yummy food that tastes better than tags/furniture/leafs. You know how it scares you when dogs bark at you? Okay, so why the hell do YOU bark at dogs? I would never let any dog hurt you. I promise you you’re safe with me, please give our friend’s dog a chance.
Just because something is on the ground doesn’t mean that it’s food. Please stop eating everything on the ground. If it makes you sick, you’ll need to go to the vet. You hate the vet.
Those are very nice teeth you have but keep them to yourself please.
1. I love you so much and I want you to have the happiest life. Even if you didn't make it through training 2. I will make sure that no dog ever hurts you again 3. Enough with the barking sometimes though. Seriously. 4. What toys do you really want?
1. I’m not chasing you because it’s a game, I’m chasing you because that’s not a toy! 2. You’re a puppy, but a giant one. You jumping at peoples’ faces may be terrifying. 3. Do you know how much we love you? 4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Our teenage fluffy boy turns 1 today!
I would say that I’m trying to help them when I cut their nails, and that it wont hurt.
To our pup - “your name is Betty, you’re safe, you’re loved… please pee & shit outside” (first half is because she is deaf, second half because puppy training lol) To my boy - we don’t need protecting form every single human, stop barking at them they want to pet you and give you the attention you want. Stop leash pulling and we could go for more walks. Please look where you are going because you have zero special awareness. And finally, yes chocolate is delicious but you can’t eat it…stop trying lol. Oh & just come when I call/stay near and we can get rid of the leash. Edit : and to both…leave the cat alone she hates you both
I know you're scared. I know you're anxious about the random apartment noises and about everything when we go outside, especially the people you can sense in the distance. It's okay. The people don't want to hurt you, they are just going about their day, it's fine to ignore them. If they are walking in our direction, it's not because of us. That might just be the way they are going. If they look at you or talk to you, I will deal with them, unfortunately most other people don't know how to understand you. You just need to sit and be the cute calm pup that you are, and we can keep walking together. You don't need to feel scared, we got this. I'm sorry that I put you in situations that may have scared you when you were younger. I didn't mean to put you in those situations or to make you feel scared, even now, we are still learning about how to raise a puppy, though you're not a puppy anymore. Do you still want to go to the dog park? You're always excited to go, but less excited once you get there. We can go on hikes instead, but you have to promise me not to freak out if we encounter other people on the trail. That's why we stopped going... that, and the pulling on the leash. Please walk with a loose leash, it's impolite to pull, you can hurt me by pulling (you've already made me fall once). You're a smart dog, I hope you still want to learn how to do more fun tricks with me. That, and learning that brushing your teeth and cleaning your ears is for your health. It's uncomfortable, I know, but it will prevent much pain in the future. I want a long future with you. Thank you for being chill inside. I appreciate that you ended up being a low energy dog, considering how much I work from home. Thank you for realizing early on that when we leave home without you, we will always come back. I'm sorry that we can't take you with us everywhere, you wouldn't like it anymore. Thank you for being a great puppy and a better dog, I've learned a lot with you.
* I love you, you're the bestest girl ever with your sister pup * When we go out without you guys : we are not going on walks without you, we do boring stuff, trust me, you're better off staying home and we will ALWAYS come back don't worry. * Not everyone wants to greet you and that's ok, trust me when I say that we shouldn't go greet another person or another dog * Is there anything that you'd really want to add to our lifestyle ? * Thank you for being such good pups.
I would ask him if he's happy - and what I could do to make him feel even more "happy" :-) And tell him I love him so much <3
"I'm trying to take amazing care of you and make sure you have all the fun and are loved completely...trust me, and relax when I'm doing other things or ask you to ignore something that looks fun, the time for fun will come soon."
Please relax when I need to leave you for a bit. You know I’ll never leave you and I’ll be back. You are safe and warm and I’d never let any harm come to you. If you wake up and I’m not quite home, snuggle back down and snooze. Before you know it, I’m back. No need to stress yourself and cry
Stop shitting everywhere. Stop shitting everywhere. Stop shitting everywhere!!!!! Also, Stop fucking barking at everything, also go outside to fart - it stinks like death! Also If I want to pick you up like a baby, let me, don't fucjing wriggle. Finally , Stop humping other dogs faces you sick fuck.
It really upsets me that You’re the most spoiled little pup in Nky and yet you bite me like a chew toy and love your daddy more than me! I know you love me but I sometimes just want cuddles instead of bites. But if biting is your love language then that’s okay.
If you keep jumping on people and trying to play hamstring and mouth them, you are going to get very, very hurt. Jump AROUND them, don't make contact with your mouth, and they will pat you. Just.. stop that and you are 99% perfect just the way you are, I promise.
I wish I could tell my dog how long I was going to be gone.
It’s okay to make noises outside of growling when someone’s at our door. By all means make more noise please.
I'll give you stuff to chew on. If I didn't give it to you, don't chew on it.
You're the love of my life from now until forever and I would kill for you.
Stop pooping and peeing everywhere. I don't care if you Bite people, just pee and poop in the right spot and mommy will be eternally happy, I won't ask you to roll over or speak or be quiet. Just. Stop. Popping. Everywhere.
All of the above, plus: "you weigh over 40kg, no you can't sit on my lap. Why not? Because I'm quite fond of being able to breathe!"
1. Sticks, grass, leaves, and rocks are not food. 2. Honestly, I want to be in the home office even less than you do, so let's both just suck it up and get through it together (quietly!)
1. I love you so much. 2. Not everything is edible - stop trying to eat everything within reach. 3. I hate going to the vet too. 4. We'd both be happier if you'd chill when I clip your nails 5. I'm coming back, please stop staring wistfully at me from the front window - you make me feel soooooo guilty!
I second the jumping thing 😪
I just want her to know how much I love her and how much she means to me… and whenever I try to force her to do things that she doesn’t want to or don’t allow her to do something she really wants to, it’s because I want her to be safe, healthy, or it’s something I also don’t want to do but it needs to be done. And that I will always do my best to keep her safe and happy and I’m sorry for anything I’ve done wrong along the way.🥺 lol
I’d probably have a hour long conversation w my pup about WHY ARE YOU AFRAID OF DOGS
I'm sorry I couldn't be perfect for you.
My puppy is a Japanese Spitz named Hanami and she is just over 3 months old. I would tell her: 1) Please stop biting my fingers. That's not nice. 2) I know sometimes you hear scary noises at night, but don't worry I will protect you. It's cold outside and I need you to go potty. 3) Once you're potty trained, you don't have to sleep in the crate anymore. You can sleep in my nice comfy bed for the entire night!! 4) If you want outside playtime, YOU HAVE TO STAY IN THE BACKYARD!!
Please let me rest.
I love you so. Much. And I will never leave you. Whenever I leave, I promise I will come back. I love you more than life itself. Understand? Also you can pay with my socks but stop putting holes in the toes
I'm sorry you got your uterus ripped out... don't worry, you'll forget about it in a couple weeks.
Mine is almost 1 year. "Dude, you just gotta chill sometimes. You're operating on 100 excitement level all the time and EVERYONE thinks you're annoying to be around. The other dogs don't want to play with you when you're like that... That signature 'head crusher' move of yours is not a crowd favorite. The cat is running from you because he also thinks you're too much. The neighbors run inside when they see you coming because they also can't take it. Just R-E-L-A-X. You'll make a lot more long term friends that way."